Been gone a few days, and I still am.

It's DJay again. What's up?



I have a very good reason, well, TWO, for not updating any DCA stuff.



1 (the one I just made up): No feedback. C'MON!



2 (the REAL one): New computer. Don't worry, all the DCA data has already been transferred. Come on, guys, I'm smarter than that. But, this CPU plays games like a race car! Freaking awesome! Plus, I'm currently downloading the first ever Portal demo, "The First Slice." A full eleven levels, apparently. Let me just say that with this new computer, it may take a while before I decide to make anything.


However, let me just say that I have some surprising surprises in my surprising surprise bag. Surprise!

[SFX: Radio turn on]
Male1: As many A-Lifes may know.... it's lonely being made by Sonic Team. Very. Hated by Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft fans everywhere!
Female: I recently went to a DVD store, and everyone noticed I was a Nightopian. Suddenly, I was being shot at! I didn't know what to do! It's so lonely being an A-Life...
Male1: Well, recently, we here at Chao Raging Against People have created our own radio station, "Chao Chat!" The only station where Sonic Team createes can join together and just... chat.
Male2: After losing my leg to a Master Chief cosplayer, I decided to tune in to this station. It completely changed my life! I'm never lonely again!
Male1: So, tune in to Chao Chat, at 200.1 FM, to listen to REAL chao and never be alone again!

"Heroes United"
Female (polite): Welcome to the Hero Garden. Welcome.... to the future. The future where we can beam our voices into your radio sets and automobiles. The wonderful hosts at Chao Chat have decided to allow us to keep a line open for all of your input... and output. Output.... from the future. Tune in every day at 7:00 AM until 5, only on 200.1 FM.

"The Dark Show"
Red: Wassup, listeners? Red here, but you can call me "Devilish." I'm here to inform you of the wildest party to hit the gardens-- and YOU'RE invited. Where? Your local radio, at 200.1 FM. When? 5:00 PM until 7 in da morning! What day? EVERY day. We're gonna talk about everything from the Alphabet to Zucrose. ...everything in between, I swear.

"Poker Tourney 08"
[SFX: glass smash]
MS: Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys, calm down! Oh, hey. Metal Sonic here, at the 2008 Poker Tournament.
[SFX: group of drunk guys cheer]
MS: Hey, hey, shhh! Guys, we're on the radio! Shut up! Oh, well, uh... every Thursday, at 8:00 PM, the Darks hand the mics over to us to give you the inside scoop on the night's poker game. The game lasts until 9 PM, and someone always loses more than just the game.
MK: He means people get their legs ripped off!
MS: Hey, Mecha, shut up!
[SFX: shove, Mecha crashes into something]
MS: Trust me, this is something you do NOT wanna miss out on. Only on Chao Chat, 200.1 FM!

Female: The following commercial represents a show not suitable for ages 17 and younger.
Red: Ever get tired of the public bull**** they teach you in CPAK? Well, tune in to 200.1 FM every night starting at midnight until 7 AM for some true "politics," if you catch my drift. Hell, once a week, we get some hot girls to come by the station and undress for us. It's WILD, and you do NOT wanna miss this. The Late Nite Darks, only on Chao Chat!



Before you turn on your radio, DON'T. This is not a real radio show they are speaking of, it's only available in DCA's gardens. In other words, it'll be a running gag, as well as some other stuff I won't speak of.

I hope we speak again some time!

It's still a mystery....!

So, I would've shown this sooner, but my internet connection was down. ...I'll show it after a talk.

Superstitio Beneficium is confusing, right? ...at the negotiations part? Lemme tell you, I probably shouldn't have put that part in. Part of it refers to something that has happened in the DCA world at that point, but not in REAL life yet (sending the soldiers away, Mission 20, Final Mission of the Dark Chao Army before Shade "retires"), and part of it refers to something that's vice versa (Portal Storms).

Lemme tell you s'more, it'll all make sense when I finally decide to put DCRPG into my higher priorities. I've told some people this, but I wanna make sure it's clear-- DCRPG is DCA "history." What the participants choose to do in it determine what the cast n' crew "remember" from their "pasts." Basically, DCRPG takes place before DCA. Think of it as a prequel.

Also, Superstitio Beneficium is LITERALLY Latin for "Fan Service." ...something like that. Expect there to be more. I'm currently working on multiple things, but Episode 2 is somewhere in there.

Now, for those who don't frequent/go to Chao Talk, there's a contest recently made over there. It revolves around solving a master mystery of epic DCA proportions. Epic as in "a mini-series of its own." Don't worry, you'll get to read the series, even if you don't visit Chao Talk. Here's the first part-- the prologue.

DARK CHAO ADVENTURES BONUS: Professor (She)Shade-on and the Curious Animals
A Bonus Story by DJay32

[our story begins in the Chao Lobby]
[that music from Sonic Adventure that played during the one scene where you were Knuckles and in the past for the third time

and Tikal was on fire and stuff, you know, the really sad-sounding one? Yeah, that one plays. Oh, and the chao were on fire,

too. It was sad, and slightly funny.]
[the Chao World Exit teleporter thing flashes]
[a lone tiger (Small Animal) comes out]
[it meows and enters the Dark Garden]
[pause]
(remember, you can't see what's happening)
Dark: AHH, THERE'S A HEADCRAB ON MY HEAD! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Shade: I'll get it!
[SMACK!]
Dark: OW! IT'S STILL THERE!
Shade: Hang on, this stick's not sharp enough! Let me sharpen it...
SShade: Shade, that's a pencil. Here, use THIS!
Shade: Thanks!
Dark: Oh no... please, that's really big! Don't!
[CRASH!]
Shade: I dropped it. Sorry, Dark!
Dark: You could've killed me! AND THE HEADCRAB'S STILL EATING MY BRAINS!
Red: I know how to get rid of it! We're gonna tape it to your head, Dark, so get ready.
Dark: Huh?
[taping noises]
Red: Now, we're gonna tape its eyes open.
Shade: Eyes? Hmm...
[taping noises]
Red: Now we're gonna force it to watch us play Sonic R!
[lightning sound, horses neigh in the distance, a TV is heard switching to Teletubbies]
ChaowatchingTV: HEY!
[STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP..... PUNCH! ....Footsteps..... sit, TV is heard switching back]
Red: Okay, watch THIS, headcrab!
["Can You Feel the Sunshine" is heard, Sonic R noises are heard]
[Tiger death cry]
[RRRIP!]
Dark: OW, MY HEAD! Did you HAVE to rip the tape so hard?
Red: Sorry.
Shade: Hey, that's not a headcrab! It's a little tiger!
[cut to the Dark Garden, now we can finally see what's happening]
SShade: That's weird... why would a tiger latch onto Dark's head?
Dark: I dunno.
SShade: I feel like something odd's gonna happen.
[nearby scream is heard]
Tail: (distant) AAHH, IT'S A HEADCRAB!!!
Dark: No, it's not!!! It's a tiger!!!
Tail: Oh. OKAY, SORRY FOR DISTURBING YOU!!
SShade: I get the feeling that we'll be seeing more of these tigers...
Dark: What makes you say that?
[waves of tigers walk into the gardens, screams are heard]
SShade: That's why.
[all the tigers roar]
SShade: Guys, let's go.
All: Got it.
[cut to the secret chamber on the island across the lake (Episode 6, remember?); all the Darks are gathered up]
Red: All right, so who did this? Come on, fess up!
[silence]
Red: Hmm... none of us? Or ONE of us?
[silence]
Red: HEY, I'm not talking to myself here!
Shadow (chao): Uh, Devilish? We're over here.
Red: What? Oh, so I WAS.
Shade: Everyone quiet down! You can't stay here forever, you know. I do things in here. Important things! The ruler of a

garden can't have everyone snooping around in his private chambers!
[everyone shuts up, but has a disturbed look on their faces]
Shade: ...shut up. Now, we need someone to investigate this mess. I say I should--
SShade: No, Shade. These are YOUR chambers, right? So, you should stay here and stop people from doing stuff!
Shade: You're completely right. *hits Dark* Get away from there!
Dark: But I wasn't doing anything!
[Shade (female) looks around, and gets an idea]
SShade: Say, Shade? Mind if I check if the tigers are still there?
Shade: Yeah, yeah, I'll do it when I get back.
[she leaves, and notices all the tigers scattered throughout the garden, all standing still, quiet, aware of her presense]
SShade: Um... this all seems familiar.
[she steps into the garden, and no tiger makes a move; she quietly steps over some tigers and leaves]
SShade: By the way, DJay? They're tigers... not birds.
DJ: I know. I just liked that scene.
[she enters the Lobby, and sighs]
SShade: Man, I never thought there'd be so many...
[she sits down by a wall, and thinks]
SShade: Hmm...
[rumbling is heard from the Chao Transporter]
SShade: Wha!? Another tiger!?
[the transporter stops, and Shade slowly steps closer]
[step]
[by]
[step]
[suddenly, Phantom tumbles out of it and hits Shade]
Both: AAAHHH!!
Ph: Whoa... sorry, Shade. I guess I should watch how many beers I have next time, huh?
SShade: Wait, WHAT? A chao drank beer!?
Ph: Relax, our A-Life bodies react to it differently than people. The A-Life system treats it as a Dark fruit!
SShade: So... you were drinking beer outside?
Ph: Yeah, but Player 1 left me, so I had to wait for Player 2 to bring me back.
SShade: Who's P2?
[more rumbling comes from the Chao Transporter]
?: Geez, of all the times I've hated them, I end up HELPING one... how IRONIC!
SShade: I know that voice...
[Eggman steps out of the transporter]
SShade: Doctor Robotnik?
Egg: That's "Doctor Robotni--".... oh, that's what you said. I thought you called me "Eggman," like everyone else.
SShade: Doctor, are you behind the whole tiger business?
Egg: What tiger business? Don't tell me they already started the plan without me!
SShade: Who's "they?"
Egg: Um, uh... nobody. Just... talking to myself. Yeah.
[suddenly, the Transporter rumbles frantically]
Ph: What the Dark Garden?
Egg: Whoever's on the other side must desperately want to enter!
?: C'monc'monletmeinletmeinhurryhurrypleaseohmyherochaosjustLETMEIN!!!!
[Chaosky flies into the room, and slams into a wall]
Chy: Ow.... at least I'm in...
SShade: What the Dark Garden happened to you?
Chy: Ugh... Player 2.... is chasing me....
SShade: Wait, wait, WAIT... I thought Doctor Robotnik was Player 2!
Ph: Yeah, me, too!
[everyone looks at Eggman]
Egg: What? I...I'm P2!
Chy: Can we trust him?
SShade: I dunno...
Ph: I say we do. I mean, he brought me in here!
SShade: Wait, I remember something I once made! My PLAYER TRACKER!
[The Player Tracker is a small device which has a screen telling you what player is who]
Player Tracker: Player 1-- Sonic the Hedgehog, Player 2-- Doctor Robotnik
Chy: Look, I SWEAR, I was chased by Player 2!
SShade: Hmm... let's hear your Testimony.

REMEMBER! The goal of "Professor Shade-on" is to figure out the answer to ALL questions! When testimonies appear, look for

ANY CONTRADICTIONS! THEN you'll know the answer!

MYSTERY: Multiple Eggmen

Chaosky's Testimony
Here's how it went: Phantom and I went to the pub to try some beers. Naturally, I was afraid the beers would make me drunk,

but they actually acted like Dark Fruit! Unfortunately, when we were about to leave, we noticed that Sonic had ditched us.

Y'know... Player 1. So, I went back in the pub while Phantom called for Player 2 to come get us. Apparently, Eggman must've

already picked him up, 'cause when I went back out a few minutes later, he was gone! So, I waited, until suddenly, I saw

somebody come up on the horizon with "P2" above his/her head. However, I noticed he/she was coming at me with a weapon, so I

ran for it. You heard me banging on the Transporter, right? I didn't get a good look at 'em, but trust me, it was Player 2!

SShade: So... Phantom was in this, too? Okay, what about YOUR testimony?

Phantom's Testimony
So, we went to get those beers, of course. We had our rounds, but sometime during that, Sonic must've gotten up and left,

'cause he wasn't there when we wanted to go! Chaosky went back in to wait while I gave Eggman a call. I said, "'Sup,

Eggmeister? Listen, it's me, Phantom. Apparently, Sonic's a bad Chao Breeder, 'cause he left us at a bar! ....yeah, he

brought us here. Yeah, I know-- terrible, right? ...I know, I know, you hate that hedgehooooooooog.... but, could you come

pick us up? We're at that new bar down in Station Square. The Chaos Cola one. That's right... the one YOU wanna go to. You

can? Thanks!" Whaddya know, he came really fast. So, he took me here. C'mon, look at him, he's OBVIOUSLY Player 2!

SShade: I see... so, how did Sonic get you there?

Chaosky (How Sonic Got Us There)
Sonic? He ran to us super fast. SUPER fast. Why? I was thirsty, and Phantom said he knew a great place. Apparently it was

some kind of bar in Station Square. "Chaos Cola," or something. He took us there and... he must've left while we drank.

Phantom (How Sonic Got Us There)
Sonic picked us up at the Lobby, and took us to Chaos Cola. That's pretty much it, y'know?

SShade: I see... Chaosky, you mentioned something about the person holding a weapon. Could you describe the weapon to me?

Chaosky (Player 2's Weapon)
Ooh, boy, that was one scary weapon. It may have been dark, but I could tell the details. I could see that P2 was holding it

like a gun. Wait... it WAS a gun! Yes, I remember now! It was red! The front of the gun (the part where the bullets come out)

was very long. Plus, there was some kind of... scope on top. It might have been a sniper's rifle, but it was red. And the

front wasn't THAT long. 2P was running kinda slow, though. I could easily escape, but I was still scared.

SShade: So, you could tell the details of the weapon? What about Player 2 him/herself?

Chaosky (Player 2)
Uh... I'll try. Um... it was a guy. I'm not sure how I can tell, it just occured to me. He had a big moustache, and he was

fat. Oh, and he was bald! That's all I can remember.

[END TESTIMONIES]
SShade: Hmm... that DOES sound like Robotnik...
Ph: But... but I called him, and he said he'd come! And, trust me, he DID say it. And he came!
Egg: See? I'm me! No doubt about it!
SShade: ...
Chy: Yet... if you ARE Eggman... who, or WHAT was chasing me?
Ph: Then again, if the person chasing you was Eggman... who, or WHAT, is this guy standing in front of us?
Chy: *gulp* ...thinking about it, I'm hoping I was chased by someone else...
Ph: I know what you mean.
[they look at Eggman]
SShade: Hmm.... then, what was his motive?
Chy: Wha?
SShade: You say Eggman chased you. What would his motive be? Did you ever interfere with his plans in the past?
Chy: No, I DID find that bit odd.
SShade: Yes, exactly.
Egg: So there you have it-- that person down there OBVIOUSLY isn't me!
SShade: ...and there's still one piece missing from the puzzle...
Ph: Really?
SShade: Yes, and if we knew it, this mystery would wrap up nicely.
Egg: Well, let's hear it, then!
SShade: We know what Chaosky was doing. We know what Phantom was doing. What we DON'T know, however... is what SONIC was

doing.


DJ: There's the puzzle, folks. What YOU need to solve ISN'T what BOTH characters are; you just need to find out the identity

of ONE Eggman. Then, you have to figure out WHICH one that person is.

Since this is the first mystery, I'll help you out: you're trying to figure out if Eggman is with the chao, or was chasing

Chaosky.

Here are some more things: You'd think Chaosky's chaser would bang on the Transporter, demanding to get in, wouldn't you? Why

on earth DIDN'T he/she?

Why WOULD Sonic decide to run off during the chao's drinking?

If both Eggmen look like Eggman, there must be some kind of trick, prank, gimmick, or secret involved.

Note: the tigers have nothing to do with this.

I won't help you out again. Now, let's look at the Journal!

JOURNAL (Prologue)

- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED

- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? UNSOLVED

Gadgets: PLAYER TRACKER (keeps track of players) {Player 1-- Sonic the Hedgehog} {Player 2-- Doctor Robotnik} {Player 3--

UNKNOWN}

Characters: Shade (Female)- The detective in this case.
Phantom (Male, Third-Party)- Involved in current case. Says Eggman came and picked him up from a bar.
Chaosky (Male, Third-Party)- Involved in current case. Says Eggman chased him from a bar.
Eggman (Male, Human)- Suspect in current case. Says he picked Phantom up, but did not chase Chaosky.
Sonic (Male, Hedgehog)- Possibly involved in current case. Said to have left Phantom and Chaosky at a bar. Location unknown.

I'm back! Life sucks!

Well then, I haven't been very active. M'bad. Of course upon logging in I thought I remembered my password but then misspelled it and went ahead to be retarded and I sent myself an email that I hoped would tell me my password but didn't so I tried the password I tried before and I typed it correctly and it worked. Jeez, I suck.

Anyway, Brawl is the best game ever. The end.

And I spent my entire Spring break under pressure because I have a freaking mythology speech to work on which is due MONDAY and then I have to PRESENT it because I just LOVE talking to people for extended amounts of time about something that I don't care about. Seriously, they brainwash you. I then have to answer numerous questions about reading stuff and half of them don't even make sense. And I have to read something and fill out a summary sheet. Then the Monday after tomorrow-Monday I have a huge writing assignment due. Ugh. I don't even have my speech written yet. I'm still working on my powerpoint.

I would also like to add that mythology can be very disturbing.

...

Yeah.

I don't even need to comment on that statement.

And you do not want to know.

...

Wow, I really need more sleep.

So here's some DCA so I'm not all that off-topic here.

Shade: This... is the story of a rivalry. The story of pain.... the story of our lives as chao. Our adventures... as Dark chao. Our......

Dark Chao Adventures.

Shade: Specifically, this is the story of one of my earliest duels with Chao. Chao, my rival, was being a dork, so it was up to me to stop him.

Episode One SUPERSTITIO BENEFICIUM: A-Vita Intrinsecus Signum

[our story begins deep down in the planet of chao... in the Dark Garden...]
[Shade, the lord of all Dark chao is planning an assault of the Hero Garden]
Chapter 1: This Dark Chao's Goin' to War!
[cut to a gray Dark chao (Shade) looking at a map in front of a group of other chao]
Shade: All right, here is the Hero Garden.
Randomchao: Where?
Shade: There.
Randomchao: Where?
Shade: Right... THERE.
Rc: I don't see it.
Shade: It... it's marked with a large, red X.
Rc: It's pretty hard to see a red X on this map...
Shade: The... the rest of the map is in black and white.
Rc: Sir, I just don't see it.
Shade: Look, if you would just LOOK at the map...
Rc: I can see it fine from here, what I DON'T see is the red X!
Shade: ALRIGHT!!!! YOU DON'T SEE THE GIANT X ON THE PAPER! I GET IT! NOW, SHUT UP, AND I'LL DEAL WITH YOU LATER!
[silence]
[the chao looks at the map]
Rc: ...OH, now I see it!
Shade: Anyway, here is the Hero Garden, our rivals' base of operation.
Rc: Where?
[Shade glares at him]
Rc: ....sorry.
Shade: Now, on to our plan! You, mister "I Don't See It," will be the one to go there and stand in plain sight.
Rc: Well, that doesn't sound so bad--
Shade: Wearing THIS.
[Shade pulls out a T-shirt with the words "Hero chao suck more than their mothers!" on it]
Shade: Now, if you'd have listened to me, you might not have to do this, but whaddya know--
?: Sir?
Shade: ....who.... interrupted... my.... PLANS?
[the camera turns to show a normal Dark chao (Dark)]
Dark: Um... it was me, sir.
Shade: Dark! This had better be good.
Dark: There is a Neutral here.
[pause]
Dark: Sir?
Shade: ...is that all? Yes? Oh, I'm sorry, but I was assuming you'd have something... IMPORTANT to tell me!
Dark: B-but, sir--
Shade: Dark, every one of us started somewhere. I, believe it or not, started off as a Neutral chao. Now, I don't know abotu you, but... that sounds rather normal... DOESN'T it?
Dark: I'm... sorry, sir, but I don't see where this is going.
Shade: You DON'T SEE-- *deep breath, relaxes* .... calm down, Shade, remember your blood pressure...
[Shade sits down on a tombstone]
Shade: Dark.... is this all you have to tell me?
Dark: Um... no.... wait, yes. Yes.
Shade: That's all he has to tell me; minions... isn't that funny? My right-hand man, my second-in-command... with nothing important to tell me!
[the rest of the Darks laugh]
Shade: All right, Dark... make yourself useful and work in guard duty.
Dark: Yes, sir.
Shade: Moving on... if you survive the torture, mister "I Don't See It," then you will do a loop-de-loop, jump up and down like a monkey, and bite their brains out.
Rc: ......I don't wanna!
Shade: I don't care. Any questions?
[suddenly, a green Dark chao (Shadow) comes running in, out of breath]
[Shadow talks like a child who is learning English]
Shadow: Shade, sir! Sir! *pant* The... Hero guys are... there!
Shade: What? Where?
Shadow: Over there!
Shade: The front gate?
Shadow: Uh, yeah! Yeah!
Chapter 2: Hero Garden
[Shade slowly opens the front gate]
Shade: Who is it?
?: Someone with something to tell you, you ugly mug!
[the camera shows the chao: a Hero chao who looks an awful lot like Sonic (Speedy)]
Speedy: Listen up! I really don't see what Chao was thinking, but he told me to give you this.
[Speedy hands Shade a small postcard]
Shade: Um... all right.
Speedy: Open it, ya ding-dong!
[Shade opens it, and it talks about inviting him to a tea party in the Hero Garden]
Shade: A tea party? What the Dark Garden (chao word for "Hell") is he thinking!?
Speedy: I know, right?
[Shade slams the gate on Speedy]
Speedy: HEY! ....HEY!!! *grumble* Aw, who needs ya?
[Speedy runs back to whence he came]
Dark: What are you going to do, sir?
Shade: The same thing I do every night, Dark-- try to take over the Hero Garden!
Chorus: They're Dark-y and the Shade, yes, Dark-y and the Shade...
One of them's a genius,
The other's insane!
They're crazy, dumb Dark chao,
Their eggs have been spliced
They're bark-y,
They're Dark-y and The Shade, Shade, Shade, Shade
Shade, Shade, Shade, Shade
Shade.

Before each day is done
Their patience will de-harden,
By the dawning of the sun
They'll take over the garden.

They're Dark-y and The Shade
Yes, Dark-y and The Shade
Their twilight campaign
Is easy to explain.
To prove their A-Life worth
They'll undo the Heroes' birth.
They're bark-y,
They're Dark-y and The Shade, Shade, Shade, Shade
Shade, Shade, Shade, Shade
Dark: Narf!
[by the time the song is done, Shade is wearing a Hero chao costume]
Shade: *gulp* I'm on my way.
[Shade steps outside of the Dark Garden]
Shade: Here I come, Chao.
[fade to black]
[the camera fades in, showing Shade stepping into the Hero Garden]
Shade: ...wait, what was I here for, again?
[he thinks for a moment]
Shade: Oh, yeah. I was invited to a tea party, decided not to go, then thought that Chao was up to something, so THAT'S why I'm wearing this girly disguise.
[a baby Hero chao (Knuckle) crawls up to Shade]
K: Hey.
Shade: Uh... 'sup?
K: What's your name?
Chapter 3: My Name Is Sonikku
K: Well?
Shade: Um... didn't you read the Chapter name?
K: No. I can't read.
S: Okay.... my name is Sonikku.
[the rest of the Heroes come up to him]
[from left-to-right, they all look like a baby Hero (Tail) (Hero) (Aqua)]
[Sha-- uh... Sonikku introduces himself to all three Heroes]
?: It's nice to meet your acquaintance, sir.
S: I know that voice...
[the camera rotates to show a Hero chao wearing a medal (Chao)]
Chao: Um... I'm sorry, but it seems that I forgot your name. What was it?
S: Uh... it's.... Sonikku.
Chao: I see. So, you wish to stay here, or are you simply visiting?
S: Well, I'll just... look around a tad, and if I like it, I'll stay.
Chao: Oh. Okay. ...oh, would you look at the time? Come, everyone! It's game time!
[all the Heroes gather around in a circle]
Chao: Sonikku, would you care to join us? Tonight's game is "Truth or Dare!"
S: Well, I don't wanna impose...
Chao: Nonsense! Come, sit in the circle!
[Sonikku sits on the light-green grass, and finds it to be rather soft]
Tail: Me first! Me first!
Chao: All right, Tail. Whom would you like to ask?
Tail: Um... Knuckle!
K: ...crap. Okay, uh... Truth.
Tail: Knuckle, do you think Sonikku is cool?
K: Aw, geez.... sort of?
[everyone claps]
S: (thinking) Great... this is gonna be one of those never-ending baby games, where nothing happens, and I get bored, and--
Chao: Sonikku!
S: I'm awake! What? What?
[everyone laughs]
Chao: Sonikku, pick either truth or dare!
S: All right, I choose dare. I'm up for a challenge.
Chao: Oh, you ARE, are you? Are you "up" for a swimming race?
S: Swimming? Of course! Any time, anywhere!
Chao: Okay, but I must warn you... I am the second-best swimmer on the Chao World! Next to this guy whom you wouldn't know.
S: I wouldn't? What's his name?
Chao: His name's Shade.
S: Oh. Uh... yeah, you're, uh... right. I don't know him.
[the two line up by the pool]
Speedy: All right, you two, listen up! First one to reach the fountain and back wins! Ready!
[the camera zooms in on Chao]
Speedy: Set!
[on Sonikku]
Speedy: GO!
[Aand they're off! Chao is off to an early lead and is halfway across the pool but WATCH OUT-- Sonikku is following by a nose!]
[Sonikku just got to the fountain, and is swimming the second half now, and Chao is left in the dust!]
[he's gonna make it...]
[he's almost there...]
Speedy: And SONIKKU IS THE WINNER!
[everyone cheers]
S: Thank you! Thank you! Yes, I'm the greatest!
Chao: Hold on, everyone! I have one last Truth for Sonikku.
[everything goes quiet]
Chapter 4: An Inconvenient Truth
Chao: Sonikku. Only one chao on the entire planet is a better swimmer than I.
S: S..so?
Chao: Are you REALLY this "Sonikku" character, as you say you are? Or are you my rival, Shade?
S: What do you mean? I'm Sonikku!
Chao: REALLY?
S: ......
[Sonikku takes off his halo, and his wings]
Shade: ALL RIGHT, IT'S ME! SHADE, THE GREAT! Hold your applause and gasps for later.
Chao: Shade... why didn't you come for the tea?
Shade: I thought it was a trap, so I came disguised.
[Chao steps closer to Shade, and whispers something to him]
Chao: (whispering) The whole reason I called you here was for some negotiations. Please, come with me to my office.
Shade: Okay. All of you Heroes, divert your eyes elsewhere! Chao and I must discuss some fecal matters.
[silence]
Chao: You don't even know what that means, do you?
Shade: ...it was inappropriate, wasn't it?
Chao: Extremely. Just come.
[cut to behind the fountain (Chao's office)]
Shade: So, what you are saying is that there are after effects to my actions?
Chao: Quite. You shouldn't have released those soldiers, Shade.
Shade: But... Quartz was annoying.
Chao: All right, I agree with you there. But, the others were invaluable! I was willing to pay great amounts for them!
Shade: Wait a moment... I didn't release them; I sent them on a mission, and they never returned!
Chao: That's what I meant. Didn't you know of the portal storms?
Shade: I don't even know what those are NOW!
Chao: Well, it is best that you don't. All you should know is that they can make things... drift.
Shade: Drift?
Chao: Yes. Once more, it is best you know NOT.
Shade: Hang on... you KNEW about the portal storms? You could've warned me!
Chao: Ah, yes, but I--
Shade: You thoughtless little FREAK!
[Shade shoves Chao through the waterfall]
Chao: ...let's take this outside.
[out in the Chao Lobby, Shade and Chao square off]
[everything's dramatic]
[silence]
[...]
[suddenly, Shade dives for Chao, and the match begins!]
[they fight using Chao Karate moves]
[the battle rages on until suddenly, a Neutral chao steps out (Cham)]
Cham: What's going on out here?
[Cham gets killed during the battle]
Cham: UGH! AHHHH!!
[the two stop]
Chao: What the? CHAM!
[they mourn over him]
Shade: Chao... why were we fighting?
Chao: You got angry at me.
Shade: Still, we shouldn't have fought... we just ended a poor chao's life...
[they stand up]
Shade: This fight? Never happened.
Chao: Cham died of old age.
Shade: A little make-up can cover up the wounds.
Chao: Our reputations are saved.
[Shade returns to the Dark Garden, only to find an egg]
Shade: What the!?
Dark: Oh, Shade, you're back! While you were gone, we got a newcomer! I was thinking of naming him after you.
Shade: "Shade Junior".... has a nice ring to it. I wonder what he's thinking right now...
Dark: Probably something diabolical, like you.
SJR: (Uh-oh, I wet myself...)
END!

Dark Chao Adventures was created in loving memory of all my chao, who appear in this script.

Pinky and the Brain belong to Stephen Spielberg.

Chao belong to SEGA and Sonic Team.

No A-Life creatures were harmed during the making of this script.
...but the very fact of their harm BEFORE is the very reason this was made.

Remember, kids-- G.I. Joe doesn't encourage harming your chao! Treat them with love, compassion, and kindness!
"Because KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!"
Joe: And knowing is half the battle!
"G.I. JOOOOOOOOE!!!!"

*chirp chirp* ....Hi? Uh... ka-boom? Falcon paunch?

BGM: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDQ7HaSveho
[Shade and Dark enter a Zelda-esque dungeon]
[they look at each other, and nod]
[they look at the dungeon, and see multiple deadly traps, and Ganondorf at the end in front of a giant treasure chest]
Shade: Let's go.
[Shade hops around a giant fire trap]
[Dark follows, and dives in front to dodge flaming arrows]
[they grab each other's hand, and Dark flings Shade across a bottomless pit]
[Shade grabs a bottle on the other side and tosses it to Dark]
[Dark drinks it and gains Icarus' wings, allowing him to float across]
[they take a few steps forward, but Shade hops back with Dark as a crusher slams down]
[the two look at each other and stretch their feet]
[the moment the crusher rises, they dash faster than light to the other side before the crushers fall again]
[only one thing remains: Ganondorf]
Ganon: Nice job getting here. However.... you will go no further! Be ready for EVENT # 40! THE. FINAL. BATTLE!
[Bowser and King Dedede join the fight and they roar at Shade and Dark]
[the chao grin at each other, hold their fists behind them, and yell...]
Both: FALCON.............
[the three kings realize the obvious fact that they are screwed, and frown]
Both: PAAAAUUUUUUUUNNNNNCCHHHHH!!!!
[the double Falcon Punch completely KO's the kings, and the chao approach the treasure chest]
[cue Zelda 'chest opening' sequence]
[their hands rise into the air, a latin choir sings, and a single case appears in their hands]
[they lower their hands to look at the game.... and....]
Dark: HALO 3!?
Shade: What the HELL!?
[Dark chucks it into the lava]
Shade: That was stupid.
Dark: For the loss, man. FOR THE LOSS!!
Shade: I guess we'll never find it...
Dark: Yeah. The quest for the holy game was a complete waste...
[Dark breaks into tears]
Dark: It just.... doesn't exist! NOOOO!!!!
[Shade consoles Dark, and looks around]
Shade: ...Dark... look! Over there!
[a bigger treasure chest is right behind Halo 3's]
Dark: Dude!!! How did we not notice that!?
[cue Zelda 'chest opening sequence']
[their hands rise into the air, a latin choir sings, and a single case appears in their hands]
[they lower their hands to look at the game.... and....]
Both: SUPER.... SMASH.... BROTHERS..... BRAWL!!!!!!!!!

The end.


I hope you enjoyed that little short, because I enjoyed making it.

Before you ask, no, Brawl is NOT as good as they say it is. ....it's TWICE as good. I got it the moment it came out, I beat Subspace Emissary in 10 hours with my brother, I got the last character the day after (Jigglypuff is hard this time), got the last stages the NEXT, and am currently trying to get all 314 songs. I dunno how many I have, but it's not all of them.

Adventure mode? Awesome. I have ALL the cutscenes, which takes at least two play-throughs to do, and have about 6 created stages. CD Factories pwn. Now, why can't I get any CDs?! I NEED THE MARX THEME! IT WILL COMPLETE ME!

Nintendo really came through for me, man. They really did.

The Mario Land Underground theme owns. Really.

In fact, allow me to look up all the greatest songs I've heard so far, just to share the awesomeness!

The Victory Road song was the link at the top.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTKoS5m6ObQ Mario Land Underground

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBWmvLW6d6g&feature=related 02 Battle (Kirby 64)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AElTGxnAG8c&feature=related HOT DAMN, the best Gourmet Race remix I've EVER heard!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPQFSKCt5oQ&feature=related What the hell, King K. Rool ship deck 2.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34QL_NyYHy8&feature=related King Dedede's theme

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzwELKtGSHI&feature=related Team Galactic. Y'know, from Diamond and Pearl.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1brLxtr2_I&feature=related 0.0 ....this is the best Mute City remix I've ever heard...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0OKyk-74hc&feature=related Encounter. From Metal Gear Solid. You'll know it if you've played it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YW0uLtsAiBc&feature=related Attack, from Fire Emblem 7 (in US, "Fire Emblem")

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxlzjvFVKkg&feature=related Listen to it. You know what it's called. It's not changed. It's awesome. Nintendo did awesome here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0Vc14AIRjM Finally, to cut things short, here is the best Metroid remix I've ever heard. The Brinstar theme.

Hope that's enough awesomeness for ya.

*wind whistles* *coyote howls* *cough*

So, I suppose it's been a while, hasn't it? Or has it? I'm sorry, but I just can't keep track of time anymore.... I'm slowly being driven to insanity. Why?

NOTHING'S HAPPENING!

I'm not talking about DCA. In fact, I can understand why few have even noticed the new episode.

A: This time of year, school hits those in it. It hits them, HARD.

B: On Sunday, the world will end.... with one Brawl to end them all.

C: Because of B, time has finally taken its toll and s l o w e d d o w n....... greatly.

D: Because of C, the schools are activating A, to 'speed things up a bit.' It's kind of.... ironic what the result is.

E: Because of D, B is seeming a bigger goal,

F: Which makes C even MORE active,

G: Causing D to happen much more,

H: Which results in E,

I: Thus resulting in F,

J: and RESTARTING all this pure Hell even MORE with G!


The list keeps on going until we've run out of letters, and Greek symbols, as well as roman numerals, which isn't even possible. But it keeps going until we do. All because Nintendo won't give us the one Brawl to end them all yet!

So, if the freakin' board of education would just.... let us have our patience.... I suppose time would speed up.

At this rate, we may have to WORK instead of smash our friends' skulls in, virtually!

You know what sucks MOST, though? This event and the repition of history are NOT mutually exclusive!

What do I mean? This event doesn't happen only once, you know. It first happened over SEVEN years ago, when people got addicted to a CERTAIN game for the N64, and couldn't wait for its sequel. Times were just as bad, if not better. Perhaps worse. I don't know, I wasn't entirely... paying attention way back when.

Now for what "sucks most." Since THAT happened, that means THIS will happen. Which means we're gonna have to just.... wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Forever. Until IT comes out, and time stops as the Nintendo fans are allowed to party until this event happens again.

Or at least until the board of edutorture stops us in our tracks, and makes us "wake up and smell the coffee," as they put it.

Until Spring Break, which some of you may already be having, or have had. You never know.

Then, it's time to "wake up" again.

Until Summer Break.

Then school again.

It's all just an illusion, you hear me? They say it's gonna stop.... they say that.... but it's all LOOPING ITSELF!

It's the Pentagon, man! You hear me? The PENTAGON! They're onto Nintendo for releasing the greatest game of all time to the US, and then promising to release something even BETTER than perfect!

The Pentagon doesn't believe them! So, they're torturing us with their.... powers of time! Slowing down time with VFX Slow.... until the time comes when they don't let us play our games! They'll use VFX Mach Speed on us... sometimes VFX Zoom, maybe even VFX Sound Effects!

All until Summer comes.

When we're finally free, the Pentagon uses their ultimate weapon.... VFX Replay! This makes us live Hell yet again....



I don't think it'll ever end.... I'm cursed to communicate with those.... those... jerks.... until the year's over. Then, it'll all BeGiN aGaIn! HoOrAy!

I can still hear the clock ticking.... always.... even though my clock has been taken down, it just won't stop. Ever. EVER. EVER! EVER! PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP! I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS!!! FOR THE LOVE OF SHADE, JUST MAKE IT STOP!!!!

Please..... please..... please.... the ticking is driving me crazy.... as does the tocking..... it never stops.... it just remains in my mind.... until I give in to the insanity.

Tick...

Tock...

Tick....

Tock....

Tick...

Tock...

Tick...

Tock...

Tick...

Tock...

Tick....

Tock...

Tick...

Tock...

Tick...

Tock...

Tick....

Tock...

TICK...

TOCK...

TICK....

Tock.........

T...i...c....k......

T....o...........c.....k......

So I turn to the music to calm me down. The MOTHER music. The Mario music. The Kirby music.

Oh, the Kirby music... I quite enjoy that. So upbeat. So cheery. It's like the pink guy doesn't even have to deal with life... he just.... eats. To get happy.

Just like Yoshi.

But only Kirby has the music.

The dances.

The happiness.

The uppity.... ups....



And that's where Brawl comes in....

Only such a sophisticated game as Brawl could involve some of the best Kirby music.... and put it all under one disc!

AND REMIX IT!

Oh, the wonderful remixes! The heavy metal Gourmet Race remix.... the strangeness of the 02 remix.... the scariness, followed by rock, and parade form of the Marx remix.... the Jazzy Meta Knight's Revenge remix.... the rather upbeat King DeDeDe remix...


Then there's Metroid.

Metroid, you always make me smile.

And scream.

Metroid has made me take a dump with fear multiple times, you know. There's nothing, and I mean NOTHING scarier than the GFS Valhalla, you know.

Then there's the music.

Metroid's awesome soundtrack, too, is compressed and remixed in Brawl.

Ain't nothing about it I don't like.

The awesome, rock, 7-minute guitar solo that is the Brinstar remix.... the metal which is the Ridley remix.... the Metroid Prime song which isn't QUITE remixed, but still good... it's all there.



And only Brawl can do this! HA HA HAAA!!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME!? ONLY THE FOLKS AT NINTENDO AND HAL CAN MAKE THREE-HUNDRED-SOMETHING SONGS OF PURE PERFECTION, AND THROW EACH AND EVERY ONE IN THERE!

300 and something homages to the past!

That's what I love about Brawl.

That's why I can't wait for it.

That's why school is Hell.

That's why Nintendo is the best.

That's why we have video games.... to set a bar for Nintendo to BLOW to smithereens with their awesomeness!

Only Brawl can have TWELVE SONIC SONGS OF PURE WIN, ABOUT ONE-THIRD OF THEM GENESIS, AND PUT THEM IN GREEN HILL ZONE!!!

This is why DCA may not resurface for a week or two.

This is why I am going off the deep end.

It's out of both joy, and madness.

WHY MUST THIS WEEK BE THE LONGEST I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED!?!?!?!?!?!?!??




I really...



Just....




Can't....



Take.... it...



Anymore....


It's all...


Too...

Much.......




Someone, please.... don't let the fire die..... don't!

Must stay happy.... must think happy thoughts...

Let me guess.... all this typing has gone to waste, hasn't it?

All WASTED....

No one's going to read any of this!

You know why?



















BECAUSE SCHOOL IS KEEPING THEM FROM READING THIS!!!


It's ALL school! STOP THE PAIN!

STOP THE SUFFERING!

STOP THE HELL!!

.....please.....



Let me be a DJ...

....in Heaven....


Nintendo, be my angel and bring us Brawl..... set us free.... make the final blow unto the nonbelievers.....


Please.....

before the flame dies out....

The flame...

...must....


...burn.

Chao Talk Just Got Even MORE Mysterious!

(writer's note: some parts of this episode are not based on secretcity6, but rather my attempt at making my own part of Chao Talk)
A team of chao... lost in a city.... and the only help they have are the rumors of a strange lab called "Daedalus!"

Will they survive? Find out in this installment of...

Dark Chao Adventures! 2008 Edition

Episode 08-Six: Secrets in the Labs

[the story resumes in the courtyard outside the Town Hall]
Chapter 1: Just How Dangerous IS Red Metal?
[the floor tiles are ripped away, pieces of the walls are gone, and the sky is an unnerving gray]
Shade: Wow... this place is so messed up. Looks like--
Dark: Knuckle.
[canned laughter]
[Knuckle punches Dark]
Shade: I was GONNA say "looks like the Red Metal got here first."
[as they walk into the labs, Dark stares nervously at the Turrican statue, which has sparks flying out of it]
[in the rocket turret hall, all is eerily quiet, the head of the turret completely gone]
Dark: ..just keep walking.
[they keep moving and enter the new corridor...]
[they enter a large room with stairs leading up in front of them, some empty work stations are to their sides]
[at the top of the stairs is a door, above the door is a large sign reading "Daedalus Laboratories"]
[an oddly familiar symbal is on the sign]
Shade: We're finally here... Daedalus Labs...
MS: Just three seconds in, and I already wanna go home. And I'm... I'm ME! I never wanna back out!
Dark: Well, let's get moving.
[they go up the stairs, and the door opens, revealing a hallway]
Telepathy: A mysterious lab hidden in the city... maybe you can finally find some answers. That symbol looks familiar...
[they step back, and look once more at the symbol]
[the symbol is an odd, red, upside-down G, with four little 'hinges' at the bottom (normally, the top of the G)]
///////////////////
[cut to a dark hallway, enter Mecha Knuckles]
MK: This place sure is spooky...
[eerie screaming is heard, Mecha turns and sees the Nomble sucking him in]
MK: AHH! IT'S THE NOMBLE!
[he runs, and manages to outrun the suction]
MK: Phew...
[the Nomble begins to slowly move closer to Mecha]
MK: AAH! OH, NO!
[he runs, the Nomble goes faster]
MK: PLEASE, NO!
[when the Nomble is closing in, the Tails Doll breaks in and saves him]
MK: Tails Doll?
TD: Poker players are pals, no matter if they're a robot, nor voodoo doll. Right?
MK: ....right. Thanks. ...pal.
TD: Hey, cut the mushy gay stuff, Mecha; I only said my line to add drama.
MK: Sorry.
[the Doll sets Mecha down in another room]
MK: Say, uh... where are we?
TD: Hell if I know.
[the Tour Guide appears behind a window]
TG: You're in Chao Talk's insane asylum.
[the poker players turn in shock]
TG: By that, I mean... you're in the remains of the Office of Death.
MK: The remains? What happened to the actual place?
TG: The Red Metal got to it.
///////////////////
[cut to the others entering the labs, to their right is a closed door with a puzzle piece window above it]
[as in, the square that was previously used for the puzzle pieces]
PF: Aw, Hero chaos...
[after some exploration, they find a cafeteria, and see a poster for Red Metal]
Poster: Resistant to fire, Consumes organic material (Don't Touch!), Distorts gravity (Reality?), NO KNOWN WAY TO STOP IT
[they also find a journal]
Hero: It appears to be a journal of a scientist who worked here. *reads journal* ...it appears they were working on an unknown red material...
Q: Perhaps it's Red Metal?
K: Duh.
Dark: Yeah, we've pretty much figured that out, Quartz.
He: Where ya been all this time-- Mars?
[Luis notices a large vending machine labeled "Hand Crusher"]
LGS: Hm?
[he uses it, and screams, then pulls out a crushed hand]
LGS: OW!!!
[he then randomly dies]
//////////////////
Chapter 2: The Tour Guide Makes a Comeback
[cut to the ruined remains of the Office of Death, Mecha and the Doll are talking to the Guide]
TG: ...as you can tell, the Red Metal is very dangerous.
MK: Yeah... from what you told us, it MUST be.
TD: Who are you, mysterious stranger?
TG: Just call me... your tour guide to this mysterious city.
[under the cloak, Shade Junior grins an evil grin]
TG: Allow me to lead you away from the Nomble, and out of the Red Metal carnage.
[the Guide leads them out of the Office of Death, and towards the train station]
MK: Where are we going?
TG: I'm taking you two to the train station.
TD: Oh, goody! Time to get outta this horrid place!
[the further they go, the darker their surroundings get, and the more destroyed the city gets]
MK: Uh... this place doesn't seem safer than the other place. ...at all.
TG: Oh, that's just to scare you. It's actually quite safe.
[the Guide stops, and sees the Nomble around a corner]
TG: !!! Um... you two wait here, I'm going to... uh........ well, just stay here.
[he goes and talks to the Nomble]
//////////////////
[the chao make it to the top floor, where it seems to be a living quarters/office]
[they split up]
[the Darks explore one section...]
DH: *sigh* Are we there yet?
Dark: ...that was not actually... usable in the given situation.
Shade: Lemme answer this. No, we're NOT there yet.
DH: Aww...
[they find three doors, one leads to a computer, the second is closed, and the third leads nowhere]
[the closed door has a window revealing a puzzle piece!]
Shade: NOOOOOO!!! WHY!? WHY!? WHY MUST WE BE TAUNTED WITH THIS CLOSED DOOR!?
Dark: ...Shade, are you somehow... losing IQ?
Shade: ....I don't hope so.
Dark: *facepalm* ...apparently so. Why don't we check out the other two doors for secrets?
[they're about to when suddenly, a dark, cloaked figure appears in the corner of Dark's eye]
Dark: Shade Junior?
[the figure is standing on top of a platform below the catwalks the Darks are on]
Dark: Hey, son, no need to wear that cloak; I know it's you.
[the figure hops along the platforms]
Dark: Junior, where ya going?
[Dark hops down and follows, the others follow him]
SShade: Hey Dark, where are we going?
Dark: Shade Junior's leading us somewhere.
[the figure points to a small crawlspace in the wall, and hops in; the Darks follow]
//////////////////
[at the same time, the Tour Guide returns from his talk with the Nomble]
TG: Uh... it turns out I lead you the wrong way. I just came back from... the map of the town. Yeah. You need to go the other way.
[Mecha and the Doll head back; the Guide stays]
MK: Hey, ain't you comin'?
TG: No, I am needed elsewhere.
[the Guide slowly walks around a corner]
//////////////////
[they reach a large room]
[the room: the Darks entered from a vent on the top little 'walkway,' another vent is visible further down the walkway]
[however, the figure is standing below the walkway, in front of a lone door]
TG?: *very slightly distorted* Come down. There is a secret lab in here, with all the answers you seek.
[Dark nervously hops down to the ground, and looks around at the blood splattered everywhere]
Dark: What... happened here?
TG: Oh, there was a security system in here. Very deadly. Various Chao died.
Dark: Was?
Chapter 3: Head toooo theeee Hills... Run forrrr Yourrrr Liyiyiiife!
TG: Ah, well, the... *twitch* ...uh... Red Metal destroyed it. It's gone now, though.
Dark: ...you okay?
TG: Why, yes. I am fine. Just...
[camera zoom-in on Dark's face]
TG: ..the Red Metal is quite frightful, you see.
[Dark becomes slightly curious, anxious, and very scared. He looks like he really wants to head for the hills]
[he discards it as "primitive instincts"]
[back to normal camera angles]
Dark: ...I see. *gulp* And, the... answers you spoke of. What answers?
TG: How Red Metal got here. How to stop it.
Dark: But... but this board we found said there was no known way to stop it!
TG: ..the Red Metal is quite frightful, you see.
Dark: Right, I suppose that makes sense-- huh? What?
[eerie silence]
TG: Well. *cough* *hack* ...I presume you would like to just see the answers for yourself, correct?
Dark: (thinking) Something's wrong here...
TG: So? Won't you open the door? It's your average "step near it to open" door.
Dark: You... you mean "automatic."
TG: It matters not.
Dark: Right. Um... if you say so, Junior.
[Dark slowly steps towards the door, step by step]
[he looks around: the Darks are cautiously and horrifyingly watching his steps; the Guide is standing completely still, watching nothing but the door]
[Dark is extremely scared by now, although he does not see a logical reason to be]
[he is slowly approaching the door]
[step]
[by]
[step (note: these aren't fillers. Trust me. They're so you can actually FEEL how Dark feels, y'know?)]
[suddenly, this happens just as the door opens--]
?: DARK, NO!!!
[Dark instantly turns around, and for him, time stops]
[he sees Shade Junior with the Darks, all of them with terrorized expressions staring at the door]
[he turns and sees the other Guide slowly turning towards Dark before just disappearing]
[time slowly reverts to normal as Dark turns to face the door, and screams]
////////////////
[cut to Mecha Knuckles and the Tails Doll, walking onwards through the ruined city]
MK: So--
TD: Shut up.
MK: I was only trying to--
TD: Be quiet.
MK: Why?
TD: I think I hear something.
[Mecha quiets down and listens]
[silence]
MK: I don't hear any--
TD: SHH!!!
[silence-- except for a very silent warping sound which quickly stops]
TD: ...it stopped?
MK: What WAS that?
[suddenly, the Guide walks in]
TG: *slightly distorted* I know the way out.
////////////////
[back with Dark, the door WASN'T open, it was something much worse...]
Dark: OH HERO CHAOS OH HERO CHAOSOHHEROCHAOSOHHEROCHAOS *getting higher and higher* OHHEROCHAOSOHHEROCHAOSOHHEROCHAOSOHHEROCHAOS!!!
[somehow, he manages to say all that in one second as the Nomble engulfs the entire floor (the others on the walkway are fine) and crushes Dark]
Shade: ....bye-bye, Dark.
[a mourning and solemn pause]
SJR: ......(whispering) master, what did you do to him?
[Junior hears telepathy from the Nomble]
SJR: ...but... why? *getting louder in anger* He wasn't a bad chao!
[the others look at him oddly]
Chapter 4: The Guide to the Afterlife
SJR: He was just a moron who YOU helped by making him smarter! WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?
SShade: Who are you talking to?
SJR: Stay out of this. Yes, master, I KNOW he knew too much, but couldn't you have spared him?
Shade: Wait, are you talking to the Nomble?
SJR: Yeah, yeah, yeah, now please, stay out of this! NOMBLE! I KNOW YOU'RE HIDING SOMETHING! WHY DID YOU KILL MY DAD!?
[pause]
SJR: .........oh. You could've said that before.
DH: Dude, what's going on? What'd he say?
SJR: Not now, I have some Poker Gang members to lead!
[pause]
SJR: ...they're what? ...but... but I'm HERE, there's no way I could already be--..... oh, ****!
Shade: What?
SJR: Guys, I gotta go. Tour guide stuff; hope you understand.
Shade: But--
[Shade Junior disappears]
Shade: Junior, what's happened to you? *sigh*
///////////////
[cut to Mecha and the Doll being lead by *supposedly* Shade Junior]
TD: Say, uh... where are we going?
TG: I told you. Out.
TD: Yeah, I understand that; out where, though?
TG: Just... out.
MK: Seriously, can't you tell us?
[the Guide stops and turns to face them]
TG: All right. I understand this city fills you with misery, correct?
MK: Uh... yeah, I guess so.
TG: Well, it's time to leave this misery! I shall lead you on the path to the light!
MK: Of the outside world?
TG: ...anyway, follow.
[the Guide continues leading them; they reach the Bus Station]
TG: Just a little longer. Keep following.
[the Guide leads them down into a dark corridor]
///////////////
[cut to Shade Junior, hurrying to the Bus Station, hoping he's not too late]
SJR: *sigh* I've made a big mistake... and now I'm only making it worse... but, this has to be done.
///////////////
TD: Uh... I dunno, I mean, it looks kinda dark in there.
TG: Relax. The exit is through here.
TD: Oh, why didn't you say so?
MK: STARDUST SPEEDYWAY ACT 2, AWAY!
[they go into the corridor, and the Guide is about to enter a seperate room when Junior whacks him with a baseball bat]
TG: UGH! Oof.......
[the Guide falls to the floor, and rolls down the hall until he hits a wall]
TG: You... I thought you were guiding the chao...
SJR: Well, they can guide themselves.
[cut to the Darks at a large bottomless pit]
DH: How will we do this?
Shade: Don't worry, this pit is OBVIOUSLY fake!
[Shade is about to step off the edge when the camera returns to the Guides]
SJR: Besides, I'm the Nomble's assistant. What the Dark Garden are YOU? His secretary?
TG: *gets up* Me? Just call me... your tour guide to the afterlife...
SJR: What's THAT supposed to mean?
TG: Simple... I shall take you straight to it, and you can 'guide' yourself afterwards...
SJR: Shut up and let's settle this.
[they charge at each other, but the After-Guide stops, Junior stops in curiosity]
TG: ....where'd you get the bat?
[cut to Onett, Ness is about to smack a vicious snake with a baseball bat when Shade Junior steals it]
SJR: I need to borrow this. Knew you'd understand! *runs off*
[Ness stands in shock, the snake lunges at him]
[cut to the Guides, they fight]
[in the end, Junior wins (thanks to Ness' trusty bat which he doesn't have anymore)]
SJR: I'd love to stay and chat, but I gotta split.
[he runs down the hall, and hurries through the dimension-changing surroundings]
SJR: Man, I hope I'm not too late...
[camera zoom-in on the unconscious "guide" on the ground, he slowly lifts the head of his cloak]
[the camera switches to the chao before the identity is revealed]
///////////////
[Shade continuously steps off the edge, before Dark-Hawk grabs him]
DH: Shade, that's not working. Why not try... jumping across?
Shade: What? That's CRAZY talk!
[Dark-Hawk jumps across, and gets a puzzle piece]
Shade: Oh.
TO BE CONTINUED...

A little break before the next 'project'

By 'project,' I mean like a season, a special, an episode, or a series of shorts, or something like that.

Anyway, the title says it all. I'm taking a break. Yes, I AM working on the new DCA08 eppy, and that'll be finished maybe tomorrow, but after that, the break begins.

During the break, feel free to just SPLASH OUT on ideas.












....that means gimme all the ideas you have. By the way, I am planning something big, unbelievable, undeniabally awesome, and just plain fan service. Just. Plain. Fan. Service. ...old DCA fan, I mean. ...a fan of the old DCA, I mean. By 'old,' I think I mean first season. Maybe 1 and 2. And, hey, isn't that EVERYONE?

Don't worry; while I'm working on the "fan service," feel free to continue giving ideas. I'm always open to them. GIVE THEM NOW! NOW! NOW!

ALL UR BASE! It's ANOTHER plot-twist!

[the story resumes in the Deluxe Office]
Dark: We're not screwed! There has to be a way out of here!
MS: Hmm... {Scanning....Scan complete!} I'm pretty sure... there's a TON of activity going on behind that big Turrican statue.
[they check behind the statue and reach a large, black room]
Shade: Freaky.
[Dark steps back and falls through the floor (nobody notices yet)]
[Dark awakes in a colorful room, the Tour Guide is in front of him]
TG: Hello... DARK.
Dark: You!
TG: I have some matters to discuss with you. Mainly the whole 'Red Metal' business...
Dark: Let me guess... you're behind all this, trying to kill us with your little "Red Metal" stuff!
TG: Actually, no. This Red Metal material has been around for a while, longer than me.
Dark: .....I'm still not convinced.
TG: Well, listen to me. Chao Talk isn't just messed up because of the whole 'Hell' deal.
Dark: It's not?
TG: No. "Hell" came to Chao Talk FROM the Red Metal. This stuff is extremely dangerous.
Dark: Be a bit more specific, please?
TG: ...there is one last place for you and your friends to go to.
[the others drop down]
SB: The Daedalus Laboratories, right, Tour Guide?
TG: Shadow Bonic... yes, you are correct.
Dark: Wait, the WHAT-alus labs?
SB: Daedalus. He's someone in Greek mythology, said to have created the Minotaur's maze.
Shade: Yeah, and something to do with the game Kid Icarus for the NES.
SB: .......yeahhhhh, something like that.
Dark: I see.
Chao: So, THIS is the mighty Tour Guide you two were talking about? A shadowy figure?
K: He looks like JOE! Want me to bash his skull in two?
Dark: Not yet... first, we want answers.
[the Tour Guide had already vanished]
TG: (like voice in the wind) The Daedalus Labs... opposite the City Hall. You'll need four puzzle pieces to enter....
Dark: *sigh* ....I fear we may have quite the adventure ahead of us, guys.
SB: Right, but first, we need to get out of here.
[they follow the path, and reach a maze, solve it, keep going, find another maze, and solve it]
Speedy: Lots o' mazes, huh?
LGS: Yeah.
[they find themselves back outside, in the city]
Ph: C'mon, better start walking. You heard the guide, City Hall! We've got a LOT of walking to do.
[hours later, it's still dark, but they find the City Hall]
[opposite the hall, they find a door with a black square above it; one shape is in it (like a jig-saw)]
TG: I forgot to tell you-- when you got past the laser pyramid machines? You got a piece then.
[they turn around, and he had already disappeared]
DH: One down, three to go.
Shade: Let's get moving!

A team of chao... lost in a city.... and the only help they have are the rumors of a strange lab called "Daedalus!"

Will they survive? Find out in this installment of...

Dark Chao Adventures! 2008 Edition

Episode 08-Five: Indiana Dark and the Mysterious Puzzle Pieces

Chapter 1: The Retinal Damage Puzzle Piece (Never-Ending Maze of Despair)
[first, the third-party chao explore the courtyard]
DH: So Chaosky... what do you suppose is in the labs?
Chy: Oh, I dunno... maybe the Tour Guide is leading us right into a trap.
DH: Yeah, that's very likely...
Ph: I bet the Nomble's in there, waiting to crush us!
Honey: *sigh* Why did we have to wake up here? Why couldn't we just be in our gardens right now?
Buddy: Relax, sis'. I'm sure we'll get out soon!
[Buddy leans on a wall, which disappears, revealing a secret vent]
[they explore it, and find it's a flashing maze]
Q: HOW MANY MAZES ARE THERE!?
[they get lost in it]
DH: Ugh.... this place isn't exactly easy on the eyes...
Buddy: I'm sure the exit's right around this corner.
[dead end]
Q: We'll never get outta here...
Ph: Wait! I see the exit! Right there!
[they get out]
Q: YES! SWEET FREEDOM! *notices it's the courtyard* ....aw.... well, back into the eyesore.
[minutes pass, they're still lost]
Q: I'm tired! I wanna go home! My feet are wet! I'm BORED! This is BORING! My eyes hurt! You're a f--
Ph: Quartz, PLEASE SHUT UP.
Q: But I'm BORED!
Honey: You know what they say about bored people?
Q: What?
Honey: They're BORING.
Q: HEY!
[they still keep going]
[and going]
[and going]
[and going some more]
[they don't stop]
[not once]
[it never ends]
[never]
[never]
[EVER]
[keeps going]
[causes seizures]
[could kill them]
DH: Will you PLEASE!?
DJ: ...sorry.
[they find a spot where the maze drops down]
DH: OW! Stupid floor... dropping down...
Ph: Maybe we found the exit?
[they did]
Nights: Woo-hoo! You guys found me!
Ph: What?
Nights: I've been stuck here for DAYS! Trust me, that maze is one-way. It's like... like this is the only way out.
DH: *sigh* Oh, boy.
Ph: What about the puzzle piece?
Nights: Here. *gives piece*
Telepathy: You got the Retinal Damage puzzle piece!
[they cheer]
Honey: Yay, we got it; now we're stuck in this small room.
Chy: We're DOOMED!
Q: We are?
Chy: No, we'll get out and play with the pink ponies of La-La-Land-- OF COURSE WE'RE DOOMED!
Q: NOOOO!!!
[meanwhile, in the building...]
Chapter 2: The Tripmine Puzzle Piece (Dramatic Face-off)
[Metal Sonic, Shade, Dark and S.Bonic are exploring the second floor]
Dark: So, whaddya guys suppose is in the labs?
Shade: I dunno. The Nomble?
Dark: Yes, that's very likely... Shadow Bonic?
SB: Another deadly mystery...
Dark: Also likely. Metal?
MS: Death... destruction... *shudders* Red Metal.... our dooms.... our CERTAIN dooms.... gloom and depression...
Dark: ....interesting.
[they see a robot walk around a corner down the next hall]
Dark: Hm? *chases*
[around the corner-- nothing but a library]
Dark: Odd.
MS: Hey, what do you suppose is in this vent?
Dark: I dunno. Let's check!
[Metal lifts the vent cover off, and puts the chao in]
SB: *gasp* The puzzle piece! Across this bottomless pit!
MS: Well, I can't help, 'cause the vent's too small. I'll, uh... go for help.
[as Metal leaves, the Tour Guide walks up to the piece on the other side]
Dark: You again? Sheesh, haven't you passed the lethal amount of times shown in one season?
TG: Well, I add suspense. Now, enough small talk! This ends NOW!
[the Guide pulls out a shotgun and aims it at the chao]
Shade: HOLY CRAP! HE'S GOT A GUN!
TG: This ends now....
[BANG!]
Dark: WHO'D HE HIT!? WHO!?
SB: He missed.
TG: So, are you willing to listen?
Shade: Let's hear your speech, fiend!
TG: Turn back. The Red Metal has spread too quickly... soon, this place will be nothing except...
SB: What? Nothing except WHAT?
TG: ....bottomless pits. Such as this room...
Dark: Are you implying that this room was once victim to a Red Metal flood?
TG: Yes. Turn back! Before YOU end up like this room...
SB: Dark, something's not right here...
Dark: I know. The Guide doesn't normally talk like this...
TG: Do not question my words! Don't! Not! Don't! Stop! Qiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....
[the 'guide' blows up, inside was Red Metal, which pours into the bottomless pit]
Shade: Weird.
SB: Now, for the matter of crossing this chasm.
[somehow, they find their way]
Telepathy: You got the Tripmine Challenge Piece!
[somehow, they get back]
Shade: So now what?
MS: Guys! I found ANOTHER vent!
[he takes them to the first floor, where they take a vent to an office, where they find a key card]
[on the second floor, they use a keycard to open a door revealing two sets of dynamite]
[meanwhile, back with the trapped third-party chao, they mysteriously get dynamite]
Ph: That's odd.
Q: *gasp* I get it! The others must have found dynamite, thus giving their 'team' the same!
DH: That doesn't make sense.
Chy: Hey, if it's a way out, I'm taking it.
[they blow the walls up, and find themselves by the Sledgehammer box]
[in other words, they're free]
DH: Sweet, sweet ground!
Q: I LOVE THE WORLD!
[meanwhile, the Heroes explore the top floor]
Chapter 3: The Speed Tunnel Puzzle (Unlocking the Door)
Hero: Well, this is boring. They're just rooms.
PF: Yeah. Not a secret in sight.
LGS: Yeah, except for the Turrican room, which we have yet to explore.
[their pupils widen]
Hero: DUH!
[they run into the Turrican room, and barely take two steps without falling through a floor]
Chao: Why didn't we think of this room sooner?
[looking around, they find themselves in some sort of secret sewer]
Speedy: Woo-hoo! Some room to run around in!
[Speedy steps into the main section, and screams as a large, red 'screen' smashes him into the wall]
Tail: I want out.
[they carefully try to make it to the door far ahead, but the screen easily crushes them]
[the third-parties find them]
DH: What's up? Trouble passing this red screen? Uh... did you try winging it?
[Dark-Hawk steps out, sees the screen, climbs up a ladder, it passes him without crushing him]
DH: There, see? There's a small hole at the top! Here, lemme try this next ladder.
[on the next ladder, it takes him upwards MOST of the way, but low enough for the screen to crush him]
Chao: Hero, please make a note that "winging it does not equal success."
Hero: Noted!
[the Darks somehow get there]
MS: Oh, I know how to do this. Just stand there, and take that screen on head-to-head!
[Metal stands there, and tries to push the screen when it comes by]
MS: See, guys? You just gotta use a little force...
[SPLAT!]
Shade: I know! Get to that ladder, and then dash the rest of the way!
[SPLAT!]
Dark: Look for a different opening!
[SPLAT!]
SB: It must be an optical illusion. Perhaps we should look at it at a different angle...
[SPLAT!]
Q: Noclip through it!
[a few seconds later]
Q: Um... what's the code for noclip, again?
[SPLAT!]
Tail: Fly over it!
[SPLAT!]
SShade: Hop over the hole?
[YAY! then, she missed-- SPLAT!]
K: Just SHOOT the dang thing!
[SPLAT!]
LGS: Learn the secret?
[can't find one-- SPLAT!]
George Bush: Nuke it, like we do with ALL our problems!
[SPLAT! "YAY!!"]
SShade: Wait a minute...
[SPLAT! --I mean, uh... camera zoom-in on She-Shade]
SShade: My idea worked, didn't it? So, let's just keep trying THAT!
[in the end-- they made it]
[they grab the piece]
Telepathy: You got the Speed Tunnel Puzzle Piece!
All: YAY!
Telepathy: You got all the pieces! A new doorway has opened...
[the floor breaks down, and they land in the room with the flashlights]
[they quickly leave the building and enter the one opposite, and find that the door IS open...]
Chapter 4: A Surprising Security System
[inside, they find a small chasm, across the chasm is a doorway which a stickman randomly walks past]
Shade: Hoo, boy, now, how did we get across the LAST one?
Dark: I dunno! Didn't you see DJay use the word 'somehow' in place of the explanation? That's writer talk for LAZINESS!
[they try to jump across, but it's a little too far]
[and again]
[and again]
[and again]
[and once more]
Chao: 'Kay, DJ, enough fillers.
DJ: Well, I wanna stretch this part a little bit more, K?
Chao: NO! It's NOT okay!
Hero: Why CAN'T he, Chao?
Chao: Don't you see? If he finds a way for us to get across, he'll be helping HIMSELF!
Tail: That's crazy talk!
Chao: Really! He may get better at Sven Co-op, and find more ways for us to do this in the future!
K: I suppose that makes sense...
DJ: Okay, that's been long enough. Thanks, Chao.
Chao: You're welcome.
[the chao get across somehow]
K: YES! Time for pure success!
[Knuckle steps into the hallway, and a giant rocket blows him up]
TG: You must disable the rocket turret to continue.
[the Tour Guide disappears]
[down the hall is a small machine firing rockets-- HOMING rockets]
[the door in front of them opens]
Dark: I'm gonna have to make a run for it!
[he runs and dives, and JUST makes it into the small U-shaped room]
[the next door opens, revealing another U-shaped room]
Shade: Dark, don't try it! It's too far!
Dark: Nothing's too far for Dark! SUPERMAN POWERS.... ACTIVATE!
[the Superman theme plays as Dark rushes across the hallway to the next door]
[the theme stops as he blows up]
Dark: You got any better ideas?
MS: I do. SUPA-METAL-DANGEROUS-ROCKET-COUNTER-ATTACK-WHICH-BLOWS-UP-ALL-TURRETS-IN-THE-HALLWAY-WHEN-I-FINISH-THIS-NAM--
[the rocket blows him up before he finishes saying the name]
MS: Hey, I got a better idea!
[Metal shoves Quartz into the hall]
MS: FRESHMAN!!!
Q: Wha?
[BOOM!]
Q: I got a better idea.
[Quartz shoves Metal into the hall]
Q: NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!!!
[nothing]
Q: What? Why didn't he blow up?
Shade: That movie was a classic.
MS: Yeah, you ruined the joke. For that, you must pay!
[Metal grabs Quartz, and carries him all the way to directly in front of the turret]
MS: FRESHMAN!!! Guys, run.
Q: Mommy!
[KA-BOOM! The rocket blew the turret up, as well]
Dark: We weren't supposed to disable it THAT way, but it works.
Shade: Yeah, *eats popcorn* and it's classic comedy!
[the last door opens, but suddenly, the Tour Guide appears and knocks them all out]
[hours later, at mid-day, they wake up back in the room where they always respawn to-- the other building in the set of three buildings]
[Remember? Way back in Season 4, they jumped off the ledge and "fell at least 4 feet." THAT building]
Dark: Ugh...
TG: Dark, good, you're the only one awake. Listen to me... while you were knocked out by the rocket turret--
Dark: What do you mean? YOU knocked us out!
TG: It doesn't matter. I knocked you out because the Red Metal was in the middle of destroying the labs!
Dark: You mean... we can't explore it now?
TG: No, no, not at all. It's just... things will be messy. Trust me. Actually, I saved your life.
Dark: But... why would you DO all this? Just... who ARE you?
[the others wake up]
Shade: Ugh.... hey... is that...
Dark: It's the Tour Guide. He saved our butts out there, man.
Shade: No... I recognize him now.... he's....
[the Guide takes off his cloak, and hops off the stilts]
Shade: Shade Junior.
SJR: Hey, dad(s).
Dark: But... but why didn't you tell us before?
He: Yeah, and why team up with the Nomble?
Shade: And weren't you with the Beta Avengers?
SJR: I WAS. But... I found out their secret plan.
Chapter 5: Flashback!
[cut to Shade Junior talking with Metal Speedy]
SJR: You're gonna do WHAT!?
MSp: Calm down, Adjoined Usher.
SJR: Don't call me that! I can't believe you guys... your plan is so evil...
[after a long argument...]
MSp: Any so-called "Avenger" who doesn't want to avenge his past can't be one of us! You're outta here, pal!
SJR: Fine! The others need me more, anyway!
MSp: Oh no, you're not going anywhere... except STRAIGHT TO HELL!
SJR (Voice-over): One thing lead to another, and Metal Speedy ended up "saying Goodbye" to me.
[cut to Shade Junior being dragged to the Chao Transporter]
SJR: Okay, FINE! I'll start a new life in the Chao World!
MSp: Not even THAT... heh heh heh... buddy, we're gonna mess you and your pals up SO BAD!
[Shade Junior is thrown into the transporter]
[cut to Junior's POV (think FPS), the transporter hatch closing, Metal Speedy grabbing a crowbar, the hatch closes]
[loud noises are heard, sparks fly]
MSp: Say Goodbye, punk!
[cut to Shade Junior waking up in the Office of Death, he opens a door, and is about to be sucked into the Nomble]
SJR: STOP! I'LL DO ANYTHING! JUST DON'T KILL ME!
[the suction stops]
SJR VO: I guess you could say I made a deal with the devil... the Nomble decided to spare me in exchange for, erm...
SB: What? In exchange for what?
SJR: Uh... exchange for... assistance. Yeah. I'm his assistant, helping him do stuff. Yeah...
[back to the building]
SJR: But, listen to me! The Daedalus Laboratories very well contain the secrets to destroying the Red Metal! You MUST go there and end this!
Shade: Hey, hold up! What was up with that Tour Guide who attacked us, and turned out to be Red Metal?
SJR: What? Uh... I'm not sure... like I said, the Red Metal is EXTREMELY dangerous. Really unpredictable.
Dark: I see...
SJR: Still, what do you say? Will you go to the labs?
SB: Will you be coming? You know more about this city than we do.
SJR: Uh... y'see, I can't. And for a good reason! It's just... I can't tell you. Let's just say it has to do with the Nomble, okay?
Shade: *sigh* Okay, Junior. If you say you REALLY can't come, then you can go. Just... at least try to appear here and there and help, okay? We know you're good at that.
SJR: Yes, sir!
[Shade Junior runs off]
Shade: Well, you heard him. We'd best get moving before the Red Metal--
[he looks out the window, and sees lots of things destroyed-- chunks of the floor and walls are destroyed, etc]
Shade: ...gets...here.....first....
[everyone stares]
Shade: ....hoo, boy.
TO BE CONTINUED...

SHOOP DA-WHOOP! It's teh plot twist!

A team of chao... lost in a DEADLY city... and the only help they have? ...HELP? You kiddin'? WHAT help?

Dark Chao Adventures 08. Freaky. Deadly. Funny. Laugh. Scream. Terror. Teppop. CHAO.

Episode 08-Four: Reaching the Ice Temple

[the story continues with the chao exploring a colorful maze]
Chapter 1: The Mysterious Wall of Bricks
Hero: Man, all these colors are giving me a headache....
He: Tell me about it. What where these guys thinking when they built this place?
K: Yeah, I know... I mean, you can't take one step without collapsing from the colorfulness!
[Knuckle steps forward, and falls through the floor]
K: I DIDN'T MEAN LIKE THAT! Ow...
[the others follow, and find a floating patch of grass, and Dark-Hawk]
DH: Guys? How'd you get here? I mean... you fell out of thin air!
Shade: Yeah, and YOU'RE usually the one pulling the magic tricks. Where are we?
DH: I dunno. I've been stuck here for at least seven hours. I'm hungry!
Dark: Dang. How do you go so long without growing bored?
DH: Well, Phantom and Chaosky were here earlier. Phantom accidentally walked off the edge, and Chaosky dived in after him.
Shade: Didn't they respawn?
DH: Oddly, no.
Dark: That means they're not dead! There must be something down there!
DH: *gasp* I'm coming, guys!
[Dark-Hawk dives off the edge; a THUD is heard; minutes later, he returns]
DH: ...remind me never to do that again.
K: Remind ME to do that to Dark RIGHT NOW!
[Knuckle grabs Dark and tosses him off the edge; Dark sticks to the wall and finds a ledge; he climbs up and finds another patch of grass]
Dark: Nice try, Knuckle! I think I found how they survived!
[the others jump down]
PF: I say, the blokes who built this establishment certainly had much time on said hands.
Speedy: Quite so.
Tail: Indeed.
SShade: ...what's with the accents?
PF: I dunno.
[in the middle of the platform is a hole leading down to water]
Dark: Knuckle! Quick, I hear someone down there!
K: WHAT!? I'm coming, poor chao!
[Knuckle dives in]
Dark: Heh heh heh.... wait.... I DO hear someone down there!
[Dark dives in after him, followed by everyone else]
[out of the water, Dark looks around]
Dark: Um... guys? You may wanna see this.
[they walk out of the water, and gasp as they see a large wall]
Telepathy: Welcome to the big wall of bricks! One of these bricks is a secret trigger!
Hero: But... but there have got to be at least a hundred! We can't find ONE brick from here!
Shade: We don't have to. The exit's right over there.
[while they leave, S.Bonic and Dark check out the other side, and find a secret passage leading to a lone button]
Both: You press it.
Dark: I'm not touching that thing.
SB: Well, you're gonna have to; I'm not gonna.
Dark: *sigh* Fine...
[he presses the button; it disappears]
Telepathy: Dylan Hunt dancehall activated!
[their surroundings become a disco-like place]
Dark: ...okay.
[they leave, and find the Tour Guide]
TG: What are you two doing here!?
Dark: Uh... looking for dance halls?
TG: ...my secret dancehall.... you two are going down. You hear me? Right down to the ground! C'mere!
SB: Dark, what do we do?
Dark: Uh... uh.... CHEESE IT!
[they split up and manage to escape the Tour Guide and find the others at a ledge]
SB: Guys? But, uh... I mean, what are you doing?
Chao: We've reached this ledge, and we've found these platforms that all lead up.
[Dark looks back and sees the Tour Guide's shadow]
Dark: Uh... uh.... well, just jump to each platform!
Chao: It's not that easy.
Chapter 2: The Four Stone Tablets
Dark: Whaddya talking about? GO!
[Dark throws Knuckle to the first platform, but a large, red thing drops down and crushes him]
Dark: *gasp* Was that the Nomble?
PF: No, it was just a red screen. It drops down every few seconds.
SB: ....*snap* Dark, quickly, come with me. Follow my lead!
[S.Bonic leads Dark back to the dancehall, carefully dodging the Tour Guide]
SB: Up there! There's a vent! I think I see something in it.
Dark: Okay, I've got an idea of how to open it.
[later, the Tour Guide comes in, holding a knife]
Dark: *throwing his voice* Help! I'm stuck in this vent!
TG: Heh... I have you now! *tosses knife at vent*
[the vent breaks, and a block falls onto his head, knocking him out]
Both: *cheer*
Dark: I think I know what to do with this.
[they take the block back to the ledge, push it off, and the red screen gets caught on it and stops moving]
[they jump up and find another maze]
He: *sigh* So many mazes... and NONE of them are that hard.
[at the end of the maze is a teleporter which leads them on a path, after the path is ANOTHER maze, this time vertical]
PFI: At least this one's original.
[at the end of the maze, they find Aqua]
Chao: Aqua? What are you doing here?
Aqua: You know the answer. Anyway, I saw this big, shadowy guy carrying four chao! He went down that hole!
[Dark and S.Bonic quickly jump down the hole, and find the Tour Guide]
TG: Well, well, well... where are your friends?
Dark: They're back up there.
TG: I see. Well, I have taken four chao... uh... *pulls out small piece of paper* .....Phantom....Chaosky.... Honey.... and.... Quart!
SB: You... mean Quartz?
TG: Right. Anyway, I have placed them in these four chambers. Also in the chambers are four stone tablets: Fire, Water, Wind, and Earth!
Dark: Your powers combined, this guy is Captain Planet.
TG: Shut up. Once all four are gathered, this door behind me will open. ...after I close it.
[the Tour Guide steps through the door, and it closes; the others come down; S.Bonic and Dark explain the situation]
Shade: Okay, four of us'll have to go look for the tablets, and another four for the lost chao.
Dark: I call wind!
Hero: I wanna go to the Water place!
SShade: Give me Fire.
Aqua: Earth is mine.
K: I'm looking for the Earth chao.
PF: Give me potato salad-- I mean, the fire chao.
SB: What the heck, I'll check the Water place.
DH: I'll help in Wind!
[they go]
[in Wind-- Dark and Dark-Hawk must traverse a thin cliff, all while powerful gusts attempt to blow them off the path!]
DH: This'll be a cinch. IRON BOOTS, ACTIVATE! *....nothing* I'll take care of this, Dark.
Dark: Uh.... Hawk? You don't have--
DH: A chance at falling? Thanks!
[Dark-Hawk steps forward, and falls off; later...]
DH: That was my idea, where's yours?
Dark: Well, if we run while sticking to the right, we may have a chance.
[they do that, and survive]
Dark: Hey, Chaosky.
Chy: Get me outta here. NOW.
[one long run later, they make it]
Dark: !!! We forgot the tablet!
DH: Nope. I got it.
Dark: Phew...
Chapter 3: The Ice Temple
[in Water-- Hero and Shadow Bonic must go deep-sea diving in the darkest depths of an underwater labyrinth!]
Hero: (thinking) Great. Swimming. Why'd I agree to this? ...hey, what's that? ...the tablet! *grabs and scrams*
SB: (thinking) Hmm... hey, why is Hero swimming the other way? ....... HE HAS THE TABLET! Come back!
Qz: (thinking) Hey, someone's coming for me! ...why's he stopping? ...why is he going the other way? I'll follow him.
[Hero and Shadow Bonic resurface, just as the entrance closes]
QZ: *bangs on closed entrance* HEY! HEY! REMEMBER ME?
SB: Oh yeah... well, Hero grabbed the tablet before I found you.
Hero: Don't blame me! I was simply doing my mission.
[Quartz decides to commit suicide by drowning, and finds his way back]
[in Fire-- She-Shade and Purflee are very close to the tablet, but must cross through LAVA to get to it!]
SShade: So hot in here...
PF: C'mon, we need to overcome the heat and find--
[Phantom runs out, holding the tablet]
Ph: AAAAHHH! BURNING LAVA!
PF: ....the chao and the tablet.
[they run out]
[in Earth-- Aqua and Knuckle must go spelunking inside a giant, incredibly dark maze!]
K: Great. Another maze. Hot damn.
Aqua: *slaps Knuckle* Don't even REMOTELY swear. You call yourself a hero? C'mon, Honey's somewhere in this dark maze!
K: *groan* But can't YOU find her? I'm too tired.
Aqua: Okay. If you say so.
[seconds later, Aqua runs out carrying the tablet and with Honey following-- the door seals as he exits]
K: HEY! LET ME OUT! ....*groans* *suicide*
[the door opens, revealing a black-and-white corridor, followed by a large park]
Dark: Hey.... I've seen this park before.... it was when I did some exploration of the bus station! But, something's different.
[they find a large sign with a question mark on it, next to some grenades]
Shade: Wait.... where'd all the others come from? Like YOU, Tail. I thought you had a bomb shelter!
Tail: Uh... we got bored, so we.... followed you? I mean, we don't know.
[Dark grabs a grenade, and throws it to a random spot, which blows a hole in the floor]
[in the hole is some sort of hallway, leading to the unknown]
Dark: Um... Knuckle, YOU go first.
K: ....*punches Dark* Fine, you *****.
[he enters, and doesn't come back]
[the others go in to check on him, and scream as they see his frozen body]
[their surroundings: a small, ice-cold cave]
MS: Stop! Get away from me!
Honey: Is that... Metal?
[they check outside the cave and see Metal Sonic cowering in fear]
Shade: Metal?
[Metal screams]
Dark: Wow. NOTHING scares YOU, and NOW look at you!
MS: Th-th-that tour guide guy.... he.... showed me the scariest thing imaginable.
SShade: What? What could be so scary that even YOU are scared of it?
MS: *inaudible whisper*
PF: Speak up!
MS: *whispering* Red..... Metal....
Dark: Isn't that the final boss in Knuckles Chaotix?
MS: Red....... Metal.... *scream* HELP ME!
SShade: Relax, Metal. Come with us, and everything'll be all right.
MS: Are you.... sure?
SShade: Yes. Come on!
[they get him off the ground and out of his fetal position]
[they stand there for a minute]
Honey: Um... where do we go from here?
MS: The tour guide guy said.... he said there was no way out of here.
Dark: No way out, except.... Metal, gimme your knife.
MS: What knife? Who said I had a knife?
Dark: ....Metal.
MS: Okay.... *gives him knife*
Dark: Thank you. *chops Metal's head off*
[everyone commits suicide, they wake up back at the Deluxe Office]
Chapter 4: Secret Shell HQ
Chao: So, where do we go from here?
Dark: I don't know...
SB: There must be a place that we haven't explored yet.... I remember learning of a Shell HQ hidden somewhere in this building.
[Shade and Chao look at each other]
Shade: Um... we found a Shell sign. We didn't explore it because.... we were scared.
[Knuckle slaps Shade]
K: HOW COULD YOU!?
Shade: How could I WHAT? And I thought you were frozen!
K: TO DEATH! There's something called 'respawn,' you know!
Shade: Well, why are you yelling?
K: I DON'T KNOW! I'm angry 'cause I died, I guess!
Dark: But you die all the time!
K: So!? That's probably WHY!
SShade: Guys, GUYS! You're not making any sense! *sigh* Shade, Chao, where was this Shell sign?
[Shade and Chao lead them to the room with the large Shell sign]
Tail: Looking at that thing is freaking me out.... I'm going back to my bomb shelter! *flees*
SB: Hmm...
MS: Lemme have a look at it. {Scanning.... Scan complete!} The sign is made of shell-o-nite.
Dark: So how do we break it?
MS: With this special substance called "die-no-mite." It's found in grenades, and old TV shows.
Hero: Well, you heard the robot; let's get searching.
[He finds a spot in the wall on the second floor, breaks it, and finds a secret hole]
He: Hm? Grenades! ...but now I'm trapped. ...only one thing to do when you're trapped, and have grenades...
[cut to Tail, relaxing in his bomb shelter]
Tail: Ah... this is the life.... nohing can get me in here....
[the wall near him blows up; He slowly walks out, stares at Tail, who stares back; He quietly walks away]
[back at the Shell sign]
He: Got 'em. *tosses one at sign* HIT THE DIRT!
[the sign blows up, revealing a secret button]
Shade: Um... uh.... hey, Dark, can you get that? I'm on the phone.
Dark: Sure. *about to press button, stops* ....wait a minute....
Shade: Just press it.
Dark: Fine. *presses it*
[the desk retreats into the ground; everyone hops onto it; it stops at a door, which opens]
[inside is a dark, red corridor; it's really rusty]
[the Darks push the Heroes in, and the 'elevator' goes back up]
Hero: But-- D'OH!
[they begin exploring the rusty corridor, wondering what happened to it]
[around the corner, they find a sign that reads "Shell HQ"]
Chao: *gulp* This is it, guys. Hey, where's Tail?
[cut to Tail in his bomb shelter, boarding up the wall that was blown open; back to the others]
Hero: Ah, who cares?
[they find someone asleep in a bed]
All: ....
Speedy: (whispering) Let's not bother him.
PF: (whispering) Good idea.
[the person wakes up-- it's Luis!]
PF: Luis? Luis Sumatuma?
LGS: That's Luis GREEN Sumatuma to YOU!
PF: Hey, bud! How'd you survive the Nomble?
LGS: I don't know... there was this odd, red substance seeping into the room..... the Nomble saw it and ran.
Chao: Red substance?
LGS: Yeah. It must be deadly. I mean, NOTHING scares the Nomble!
[the last line echoes through Hero's head]
Hero: ....Red Metal....
Chao: What?
Hero: ....it's nothing. Just had a wild thought.
Chao: Well, get your head back to Chao Talk! We've gotta get outta here, remember? ....but how?
[they turn around and see a door leading back to the office]
Chao: ...oh.
[back with the others]
[Luis tells everyone his story; Metal freezes]
MS: R...red substance?
LGS: Yeah.
MS: The Nomble's scared of it?
LGS: Yeah.
MS: ....oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh CRAP!
All: What?
MS: That red substance is Red Metal! The stuff I told you about!
Dark: Uh-oh. So, if the Nomble is scared of this odd substance, it MUST be dangerous! ...*gasp* It gets worse...
Shade: What? WHAT GETS WORSE?
Dark: Well, if Purflee said he lost Luis to the Nomble here, and Luis says the Nomble saw the substance, that must mean the Red Metal is somewhere in this building!
He: Well, we're screwed.
TO BE CONTINUED...

Who IS this?

Okay, I've noticed some people saying they hate DCA. I'm not saying they SHOULDN'T, I respect your opinions.
No, what I'm doing is asking you haters to please leave a comment in an entry stating WHY you hate DCA. And please, be honest. If it's something I can fix, I'll try to fix it. ...actually, could ANYONE leave a comment? I mean, even THIS place has a comment feature. It's located at the bottom of each entry.

Still, back to the subject. I won't be mad at you for hating DCA. I'll even try to see DCA through YOUR eyes, and see just how 'terrible' it is. But, I can't see it through your eyes unless you tell me what YOU see in DCA. Just be honest.


Now, for something DCA-related: I'm working on the new one. I just took a tiny break, but I'll have it done by tomorrow or Sunday. The weekend's usually the deadline, unless I have a REALLY good reason.