Two-hundredth post! :D

Wow, it looks like the OFFICIAL Dark Chao Adventures Blog has finally reached its 200th post. In celebration of this, I... do not have anything to give. :P Well, okay, so I have the next episode of DCA. This is part three of Quinquenquoi, filled to the brim with references and jokes. Enjoy!

OH WAIT! *ahem*

What does it mean to have an official blog?

For me, having an official blog means we're going somewhere. It means we're bigger than nothing. :D And do you know what my FAVORITE part of this blog is? The fact that I didn't make it. That's right. The fact that the wonderfully lovely Invader mLe started this blog.. with her bare hands. Kinda-sorta. I mean... she decided to set up a small little blog to advertise my humble little fan script. Now it's around two years old and has two hundred posts.

Of course, then there's the fact that she invited me to be an admin. That's.. that's awesome. ^_^ That means I'm a somebody. xD People actually think I can write. Then again, that's more of what it means to have a fan-script, which I will go over in another post, coming sometime in the next week.

BACK ON-TOPIC! I.. I love you guys. :D Even though nobody ever reads this, it's still nice to know I have a little way to.. to FEEL like I'm professional. To feel like I still have fans. I'm sure I still do, but.. nobody ever says anything. And through all the hail, the storm, the Earth, the wind, and the fire and flames... I'll always give people something to read. If there are no new episodes of DCA up, then there's always this blog. This blog has two hundred posts. Two. Hundred. Most of it's stuff only I've read, but if anyone ever wants something to read, they can skim through the archives and realize, Wow... this kid is crazy. Heh.. haha... he wrote, like.. a hundred and ninety posts on this blog. He's so crazy! And then I can die happily, knowing I've made people laugh.

Actually, I can die happily anyway, knowing I've made a successful UNDERGROUND fan script. Underground. :D So underground that only a select few people even KNOW about it. But MOST IMPORTANTLY... I can die happily knowing that I have (and have had) such wonderful fans. People like Multichao, PaperBowser, Doom, Eliwood, and Invader mLe. =) Thanks a bunch, guys. I.. I guess now... I just miss you.

Anyway, that's my ramble for today. Please.. enjoy the next episode of Dark Chao Adventures.

Dark Chao Adventures
Adventuring since 2005.

Episode Sixty-Seven: Take One to the Ballgame, and You Have to Take 'Em All


Our story resumes in the Chao Lobby.
Chapter 1: The Sky is Fallin'
[Dark, Shade, Shadow, and Doctor Eggman are there]
Shade: Dark, what do you MEAN a meteor is falling, and it's gonna hit the Dark Garden?
Dark: I.. I mean exactly that! Exactly what you just said!
Shade: I... I... I gotta take a look at this for myself.
[Shade runs down the stairs; the others follow]
[cut to the Dark Garden; the sky is turning red as a giant meteor is seen falling towards the garden]
[Chao, now a Dark Chaos chao, is there, too]
Dark: See? That!
Shade: Okay. Okay. Stay calm. Uhhhhh.... hrrrm, how did we stop the ARK when it fell that one time?
Chao: You didn't. I recall it hitting the Earth, but not creating much of an impact.
Shadow: Then that should happen this time, right?
Shade: No. This meteor is on fire. The ARK was not on fire.
Chao: Plus, compared to this, the ARK was a small pea.
Dark: Shade, we don't have time for this!
Shade: Ack! You're right! But who could help us stop something like this?
Shadow: Not Sonic, THAT'S for sure.
[Eggman chuckles]
Egg: That's.. that's a good one.
Shade: Hmmmmm... who can help?
[Shade stands, thinking]
Shade: ....OF COURSE! Eggman, take us... to San Francisco!
Egg: Mmkay.
Chapter 2: Victim of Changes
[cut to San Francisco, California]
[the gang appears outside a house]
[Shade rings the doorbell]
Shadow: Are you sure this person will be able to help us?
Shade: He HAS to be.
[the door opens]
?: Eh?! WHO is disturbing my ME time? I am TRYING to plot ways to DESTRRRROYYY THE HUUUMANNNS!
??: HEY ASK 'EM IF THEY WANT SOME MUFFINS!
[it's Zim! You know! From Invader ZIM!]
[and good ol' GIR, too]
Shade: Zim, we need your help. A meteor is--
Zim: Well, OF COURSE you need the help of the great ZIIIM!
Shade: Y.. yeah, we do. You see--
Zim: But maybe the great ZIM doesn't WANT to help you, pathetic egg-baby!
GIR: Awww, c'mon, look at them! They're so cute! We should help them!
Zim: "Cute?" "Cute" means NOTHING to an Irken invader. Do you hear me? NOTHING!
GIR: Don't worry, guys! We-za gonna help you!
Shade: Listen, okay? A meteor is gonna hit the Dark Garden any minute now. We need you to whip up something cool to help.
Zim: Hahahaha! Is that all? Very well, silly creature. I will stop your big, bad meteor for you.
Shade: And.. could you maybe do it, like... now?
Zim: Alright, alright.
[Zim gets his Voot cruiser spaceshipamabobber and... gets to the Dark Garden somehow]
[the others follow]
[out in space, Zim flies around the meteor for a bit]
Zim: Okay, you freakishly large meteor.. thing. How about I start you off with a shove?
[Zim presses a button, and a giant robot hand extends out of his ship and smacks the meteor]
[it is sent flying into the nearby sun]
[he lands the Voot cruiser down in the Dark Garden and gets out]
Shade: Thanks a lot, Zim. We were pretty worried about that for a second.
Zim: Eh. It was no problem for the great ZIM!
Shade: ..so, why haven't you been here in a while? Why don't you come visit?
Zim: Oh, you know, I'm.. busy. Gotta try to make ends meet ever since I got fired from Nickelodeon.
Dark: Worst thing they ever did.
Shade: No, Dark. The worst thing they ever did was get rid of a BUNCH of shows, not just Zim.
GIR: I miss Rocket Power!
Shade: So, Zim, have you.. gotten some kind of job?
Zim: What?! ME? Get a JOB?! Like a HUMAN?! I would never! ...I sell pies.
Shade: Oh, cool. Seriously, why don't you ever visit? I'm sure you could make a funny villain from time to time.
Zim: Oh, I don't know. I might try to.. from now on. Maybe.
[in comes Levity Nite]
Nite: Shade, Shadow... oh, hey, Zim.
Zim: Hey, how ya doin'?
Nite: Shade, Shadow.. Mephiles has relayed a message to you.
Shadow: What's the message?
[Levity pulls out a piece of paper]
Nite: "You fools think you're the stars of DCA, huh? Well, we'll see just how good you are at braving the show, won't we?"
Shadow: What? What the heck is he talking about?
Shade: He's gonna give us some blasts from the past. From that room, he can do pretty much anything.
Nite: Hey, Doctor? May I have a word with you?
Egg: Uh.. sure.
[Eggman heads out of the room with Levity]
Chapter 3: Man on the Edge
[cut to Mephiles' base of operations]
Mp: Hmm.. what should I send at them next?
Nite: How about an apology?
[Mephiles turns and sees Levity Nite and Eggman]
Mp: I should have expected you fools to break in here.
Egg: You should not be in here, Mephiles. This building was shut down for a reason.
Mp: Heh heh heh... so now it looks like I have a bargaining chip, huh?
Egg: You.. you want to join us?
Nite: Eggman was a special case, Mephiles. We had lost a member, and Eggman proved himself to be worthy.
Mp: Well.. if I can't join the Veteran's Committee.. then I will bomb the Gardens to the ground.
Nite: You DO know we were trying to end this show, anyway, right?
Mp: So I won't get any opposition. Muh huh huh... yeah, I knew that.
Egg: But.. but you can't!
Nite: Why not? We WERE gonna end the show.
Egg: But.... I mean... but... argh. I.. I've got to warn the chao.
[Eggman teleports away]
Nite: ......
[cut back to the Dark Garden; Eggman appears]
Egg: You guys have got to get out of here! Quickly!
Shade: Why? What's wrong?
Egg: Mephiles is going to bomb these gardens!
[a chill runs down Shade's spine]
Shade: Much like the Grey Journey...
[BAM-- a bomb appears in the center of the garden]
Shade: RUN!
Egg: No need!
[Eggman snaps his fingers, and the bomb disappears]
Chao: ..wow, where were you a couple seasons ago?
Egg: He'll probably send another unless we stop him.
Shade: Let us come with you.
Zim: Yes! I wish to see Mephiles again... it has been a while.
Egg: Okay...
[cut back to Mephiles' base of operations]
[Levity has gone; Eggman, Shade, Dark, Shadow, Chao, Zim, and GIR appear]
Shade: Mephiles!
Zim: Odd demon hog thing!
Mp: Ah, Shade.. AH, hello, Zim. Come to watch me destroy the gardens?
Shade: Mephiles, you don't have to do this!
Mp: You're right; it's a total waste. However, I DO have to do... THIS!
[Mephiles hits a button; the others are teleported to...]
Chapter 4: For Absent Friends
[Stardust Speedway Zone, Act II]
[the Eggman statue toward the end]
Chao: *gasp* The Stardust Eggman...
Shade: I'm glad he sent us here. We could use the Poker Gang.
[they enter the Stardust Eggman and find Mecha Knuckles and the Tails Doll sitting in a corner, bored]
MK: What do you wanna do today?
TD: Stare at the wall.
GIR: HAI GAIZ! HI, WALL! :D
MK: Hey, it's you guys!
TD: Have you guys seen the boss?
Shadow: Metal Sonic? Well.. last I saw him, he fell off the Egg Citadel, but that's thirty years from now.
TD: Then where is he NOW?
Shadow: I dunno.
MK: Anyway, what's up? You guys need something?
Shade: As a matter of fact, we do. Mephiles has gone crazy and is trying to destroy everyone. Wanna help us stop him?
[Mecha and the Doll hop up]
MK: Do we?!
TD: Dude, we've had nothing to do ever since Metal disappeared! We've been DYING for something to do!
MK: Yeah! Let's rock and roll!
Egg: Very well. Let's go back to Mephiles, then.
[cut to Station Square; everyone appears there]
All: Huh?
Egg: Funny... I can't seem to get us any closer than this.
Shade: He must be blocking your teleportamajigger ability...
MK: Oh, he is SO dead. Okay, where is this building of his?
Shade: Uh.. I'm pretty sure it's... this way.
[Shade leads the gang down multiple blocks]
Dark: Are we there yet?
Shade: Um.. not.. quite.
Chao: Are we lost?
Shade: Shut up, Chao.
[they keep walking down even more blocks]
[eventually, they reach a beach]
Dark: Station Square has a beach?
Chao: Apparently so.
MK: Kid. You have no ****ing clue where you're going, do you?
Shade: N..not really.
[everyone groans]
[Levity Nite appears]
Nite: It's a good thing you're down here. Mephiles has another message.
Shade: Great. Let's hear it.
Nite: "You might want to spend less time hunting ME down and more time hunting your gardens. You have one hour."
Shadow: This is a troubling situation, isn't it?
Nite: Eggman, I must speak with you. Come with me, for this is urgent.
Egg: S..sure.
[Eggman leaves]
Shade: ..oh, crap, now he can't teleport us back!
TD: Somehow, I think Levity Nite did that on purpose.
Shadow: Do you think Mephiles is affiliated with the Veteran's Committee now?
Shade: No time to speculate. We only have an hour to do this.
MK: Listen to yourself, kid! "Only an hour!" Harharhar! An hour is plenty of time.
Shade: Not when we're lost at some beach in Station Square, and have to get back and defuse a bomb without Eggman's help.
MK: It's still easy.
Zim: Yes, you silly chao! You simply have to think with the resources given to you.
Shade: WHAT resources?
[Mecha, the Doll, Zim, and GIR clear their throats]
Shade: ..oh... right.
Chapter 5: Counting Out Time
[cut to the gang wandering around the streets by the beach, asking people where the nearest Chao Transporter is]
[they regroup after some queries]
Shade: Report.
MK: I got nothing.
Chao: I got some rumors on one on Prison Island.
Dark: I got a rock.
Shade: Prison Island. *sigh* Great.
TD: You sound disappointed. It won't be that bad. We've just gotta look for a plane of sorts.
Shade: Zim, what about your Voot Cruiser?
Zim: Uh.. right, of course. GIR!
GIR: Yes, my master?
Zim: Where did you park the Voot Cruiser?
GIR: The what?
Zim: The.. the Voot... y'know... our ship!
GIR: What's it look like?
Zim: It's.. it's purple.
GIR: Oh, that?
Zim: Yeah, that.
GIR: What about it, again?
Zim: Where did you park it?
GIR: In a lake.
Zim: WHAAAAT?!
GIR: Yeah!
Zim: WHY?!
GIR: "Why" what?
Zim: Why did you park the Voot cruiser in a lake?!
GIR: The what now?
Zim: The.. the purple thingy!
GIR: What about it?
Zim: WHY did you park the purple thingy in a lake?!
GIR: 'Cause!
Zim: "'Cause" what?!
GIR: Mister Demon Guy told me to!
Shade: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Mephiles told you to dump the Voot Cruiser in a lake?
GIR: Yup!
Shade: Damn. He's good.
Shadow: I agree. He is.. he is really good.
GIR: Who we talkin' about?
Shadow: Mephiles.
GIR: Who's that?
Shadow: The demon guy.
GIR: Oh, yeah. What about him?
Shadow: He's really good.
GIR: Yeah. He is. ^___^
Shade: ARGH, we don't have time for this!
[Shade runs up to a random person]
Shade: Excuse me, sir? Which way to the nearest airport?
Man: That-a way. *points somewheres*
Shade: Thanks! Everyone, follow me!
[they run along the roads for a while; Dark stops suddenly]
Shadow: Dark, what's wrong?
[everyone else stops]
[Dark points at a giant ice cream parlour]
Dark: I'm hungry.
Shade: Dark! We don't have the time! We've only got about.. three quarters of an hour!
Dark: But the iiiice creeeeaaaam! D:
Shade: AH! Fine! Fine.
[they get some ice cream]
Shade: There! Better?
[Dark holds up his hand in opposition, then finishes his ice cream]
Dark: Okay! Better.
Shade: Good! Let's go!
[they continue running]
[after a while of running, they reach the airport]
[they enter]
Chao: Oh, great.
Shade: What? What's wrong now?
Chao: We've still got to go through customs.
Shade: *grrrooooaaaaan* Great.
[they stand in line for about ten minutes (half an hour left now)]
[they reach the reception.. clerk... place]
Clerk: Hello, how may I help you?
Shade: Uh.. yes, hello. We'd like eight tickets to, um.. the.. 2:30 flight to Prison Island.
Clerk: 2:30 flight leaves in half an hour. You sure you can make it in time?
[Shade turns to the others and shrugs his shoulders]
Shade: I guess we'll take it.
Clerk: Alright. That'll come to about.. two thousand dollars.
Shade: Two thousand clams? *pays the man* Highway robbery.
[they move through the airport]
Shadow: Where the heck did you get two thousand dollars, Shade?
Shade: Let's just say the Tooth Fairy owed me one.
[they enter the food court and see a clock-- 2:03]
TD: Huh. We've got twenty-seven minutes 'til the flight leaves, and 'til the gardens blow up.
MK: Man, how are we gonna pull this off?
Shade: I've been thinking about that one. ...yeah, uh, seven cheeseburgers and fries, please. Dark, what do you want?
Dark: I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6-- with extra dip, a number 7,
[the others turn to look at Dark]
Dark: Two number 45s-- one with cheese, and a large soda.
[they get their food and find a table]
Shade: Anyway, I was thinking... *chomp* maybe we could.. and you might call me crazy at this... *munch*
[the others lean closer]
Shade: I was thinking we could hijack the plane. *chomp* ..aw, MAN, this stuff is GOOD!
MK: Well.. I'm in.
TD: Yeah, sure. I mean, we've done worse.
Zim: Hijacking a human aerial ship? Ooh, neat!
GIR: I didn't get a toy with my meal. :c
Chao: I.. I suppose I'm up for it.
Dark: Ready to roll, sarge.
Shadow: Hey, anything that'll get me those chaos drives, right?
Shade: Alright... it's settled. We hijack the plane in five minutes.
[Dark burps]
Shade: ...seven minutes. When we're all done with our food. Be ready, 'cause...
[close-up of Shade]
Shade: This is gonna be fun.
TO BE CONTINUED...

Quinquenquoi part two!

Dark Chao Adventures
Adventuring since 2005.

Episode Sixty-Six: Un Film Gris

Our story resumes in the endless void.
Chapter 1: I'm Only Sleeping
[Shade is talking with Levity Nite, Echo, and Doctor Eggman]
Shade: What do you mean my father is dying?
Nite: Shawn is being slowly killed by some form of.. well... see for yourself.
[Shade is "dropped off" in a small hut on the Chao World]
Shade: Dad..
[Shawn the Dark is lying in bed, visibly ill]
Shawn: Shade.. you made it.
Shade: They told me just in time.
[Shawn looks around, suspiciously]
[Shade comes a little closer; Shawn speaks in a low whisper]
Shawn: Did they follow you?
Shade: I don't think so.
Shawn: Listen, I'm.. I'm not going to die. My mind is just.. well.. it's freaking out.
Shade: ..Levity mentioned that this was 'cause of some symptom of something. What the heck is going on?
Shawn: I'm not entirely sure, but I.. I'm not going to fear the worst! I'm not gonna die.
Shade: Dad. You know. What is going on?
Shawn: I... I really can't tell you.
Shade: Hmm... one last thing, though. Why are you here, on the Chao World?
Shawn: I was on vacation for a bit.
Shade: Oh. Okay. Well.. I'll check on Cham now.
[Shade leaves the house, and is then taken back to the void]
Echo: Well?
Shade: He's a tough one. I don't think he'll die. Can you guys take me to see Cham?
Egg: Mah boi, we can take you ANYWHERE.
Chapter 2: Another One Bites the Dust
[Shade is then '"dropped off" in the Neutral Garden]
Shade: Cham? You there, dude?
[Cham is heard hacking and coughing from behind the waterfall]
[Shade heads back there]
Shade: Hello, Cham?
Cham: Sh...Shade? *hack wheeze* That you?
[Cham is lying on the cave floor, grabbing his chest]
Cham: Kid.. I.. I'm dying, kid.
Shade: Are you sure? How bad is it?
Cham: It's.. it's deathly.
Shade: C'mon, describe it. What are you feeling?
Cham: My.. my legs feel like they're.. st..stretching... almost... and my.. arms, too...
Shade: What about your head? Any strange new thoughts?
Cham: Everything's going black... I.. I don't know.. what's happening.....
Shade: No, c'mon, stay with me!
Cham: It's.. it's..... no use, kid..... I can't... I.. I can't... I... I can't..... I.... I can't........
Shade: You can't what?
[Cham closes his eyes]
Shade: Cham!
Nite: He's gone, Shade. Come on. We've got work to do.
[Levity Nite had entered the cave]
Shade: You.. you guys can bend the script. Can't you make him alive again?
Nite: If we tried, the other force would bend it back, and he'd die. Please, come. We need your assistance.
Chapter 3: Another Brick in the Wall
[cut to the Dark Garden]
[Dark, Red, and Shadow have been building a wall seperating the Garden into two]
[enter Doctor Eggman]
Egg: What in the name of Seargent Pepper are you boys doing?
Red: Eggman! Come to this side of the garden, over here.
Chao: No, Doctor, please.. come to MY side of the garden.
Egg: ...
[Eggman goes to Red's side]
Red: Yes! In your face, Chao!
[Eggman approaches Shadow]
Egg: Shadow, we may need you for a second.
Shadow: Sure, what is it?
Egg: Come with me.
[Eggman leads Shadow out, and into CPAK]
Shadow: What's going on?
Egg: It's Echo. He's a little... under the weather.
Shadow: Where is he?
Egg: We put him in the clinic.
[they open the door to the clinic and find it empty]
Egg: WHAT THE?
[Levity Nite walks in, with Shade]
Nite: How's Echo doing?
Egg: He's gone!
Nite: WHAT?!
[Nite runs into the room, and looks around]
Nite: Not a trace. I.. I have to tell the others.
[Levity disappears]
Shade: Hmmm...
Shadow: What's up?
Shade: I think I might have a theory as to what's going on. But.. I need more evidence. Eggman.
Egg: Yes, mah boi?
Shade: Could you take me to Earth?
Egg: Um.. I suppose so. Where on Earth?
Shade: A specific place.
Chapter 4: The End of the Line
[cut to outside a run-down building in some city somewhere]
[enter Shade, Shadow, and Eggman]
Egg: This is the place you wanted, right?
Shade: Without a doubt.
Shadow: Shade... what is this place?
Shade: Long story. C'mon.
[they enter the building-- a main room, three doors]
Shade: I believe it's this door, right here.
[locked]
Shade: Hrm. So maybe my theory was incorrect.
[Shade tries another door, and it opens]
[inside this room are a few empty jail cells]
Shade: Look for anything of interest.
Shadow: Like these jail cells?
[Shade takes a second look at them]
Shade: .......yes.
[he carefully examines one]
Egg: So they're jail cells.
Shade: Not JUST jail cells....
[Shade holds a padlock]
Shade: ..empty, LOCKED jail cells.
Shadow: Locked? You serious?
Shade: Interesting. Let's check out the next room.
[they leave that room and enter the final door]
[it's a utility closet]
Shade: Huh. Okay, you two, look for keys.
[they find some keys, and unlock the cells-- nothing different]
Egg: What about this door?
[Shade tries the keys on the door-- nothing works]
Shade: Well, that's peculiar.
Shadow: Can't open it?
Shade: Won't budge.
[Shade presses his ear.. area to the door, listening in]
Shade: ....I hear voices. Eggman, can't you teleport us in there?
Egg: I.. I COULD, yes.
Shade: Do it.
Chapter 5: Prophets of War
[they appear in a dark room; no lights are on, no windows are anywhere; it's pitch-black]
Shadow: Awfully dark room, isn't it?
Shade: Let's look for a light switch.
Egg: What about those voices you said you heard?
Shade: ..oh, yeah. Shh.
?: It's good to be back. Isn't it, Shade?
Shade: Who are you?
?: You know who I am, fool.
Shade: Mephiles!
Mp: Correct. Welcome to my newest diabolical scheme... one that will undoubtedly finish you pests off.
Shade: Why are you still trying to kill us?
Mp: For one thing, I haven't appeared in this season since the boring episodes.
Shade: So make some more appearances!
Mp: DJay forgot about me. Now I'm gonna show him why he should NEVER forget me.
Egg: But there are tons of villains in this show by this point. I'm sure it's hard to remember all of them!
Mp: But I was one of the earlier ones!
Shadow: What are you trying to do, anyway?
Mp: Heh heh heh...
[Mephiles hits a switch]
[televisions turn on all across the room, giving off a blue glow]
Shadow: So.. what? You can monitor everything now?
Mp: Oh, I don't want to monitor you. Actually, I want to do... THIS!
[he presses a button, and the chao (plus Eggman) suddenly find themselves in the Chao Lobby]
Egg: That darn Mephiles!
Shadow: What was he trying to do?
Shade: I.. I don't know, but whatever it is, I hope it's not too huge.
[Dark runs out to them]
Dark: SHADE! SHADE!
Shade: What is it, Dark?
Dark: A meteor's falling, and it's gonna hit the Dark Garden!
TO BE CONTINUED...

Happy Quinquennial, DCA! :D

Dark Chao Adventures
Adventuring since 2005.

Episode Sixty-Five: Chao Back in Space

Chapter 1: In the Presence of Enemies, Part 1
[cut to an endless void]
[Levity Nite is speaking with someone]
Nite: ..mhmm. Okay. Got it. Yep. Yep. Cool. Can do.
[Levity then teleports all the chao to the void]
Shade: Wait, what?
Shadow: What the?
Red: What's happening?
Dark: Who are you people, and where is my horse?
Nite: It would seem that.. it would be very much wise to give you kids the day off.
Shadow: ...wait, WHAT?
Nite: Yes. You see, it has come to our attention that Dark Chao Adventures was first written five years ago.
Shade: ****, has it been that long already?
Nite: Very much so. In commemoration, we wanted to let you take................. a break.
Red: But--
[the chao are then teleported into the Chao Lobby]
Chapter 2: Jump in the Fire
[the chao sit in silence for a little bit]
Dark: The crap just happened?
Shade: I think.. we just got cut some slack.
Red: But.. but that's impossible! We.. we COULDN'T have been! There must be some kind of catch!
[Echo appears]
Echo: We knew you'd be understandably suspicious. Your chaos drive is in the Dark Garden.
Dark: Buh forreal d'oh
Echo: I AM being for real, Dark. Grab it when you are done with your break. Enjoy.
[Echo leaves]
Red: ****! I KNEW there was a catch!
Shade: Red! Red. Calm down. He said the DARK Garden.
Red: Yes! I know!
Dark: Freaking Veteran's Committee, man.
Red: Totally...
Shadow: Guys, what the heck is your problem?
Red: We.. never DID tell you what happened while you were gone on your two-year espionage mission, did we?
Shadow: Oh yeah, Chao took over the garden. I completely forgot.
Shade: This'll be easy. We can take him, no sweat.
Dark: But you don't understand!
[Shade and Shadow waltz on in to the Dark Garden]
Chapter 3: Dazed and Confused
[the ground is still grey]
[the walls are still old]
[the tombstones and creepy trees are still there]
[the water is still red]
[the Garden is still Dark]
Shade: Dude... the Garden, it's... YOU!
Dark: When you put it that way, it sounds cool.
Chao: Shade? Shadow? What are you guys doing here?
Shade: Chao, you crazy son of a-- where the heck ARE you?
Chao: I'm standing right here, in front of you.
Shade: Where? Behind this Dark chao? ..speaking of, who IS this guy?
Chao: .......
Shade: .......
Chao: .......
Shade: ...NOOOOOOOOO WAYYYYYYYY
Shadow: Well... THAT'S a plot twist if I've ever seen one.
[Chao is now a normal Dark chao, but not just ANY normal Dark chao...]
Shade: Chao. I am going to freaking.. PUNCH you. In the.. in the... badass horns.
Shadow: Chao.. how the heck did you manage to become a Chaos chao?
Chao: Simple. I know how to take care of myself.
Shade: Like HELL, you do. We've been out there, saving LIVES.. not including our own.
Shadow: I KILLED METAL SONIC.
Shade: We've infiltrated more buildings than you've even seen in your freaking LIFE!
Chao: Yes, but Uncle Shadow has been gathering the finest animals and chaos drives for me.
Shade: So you've been pampered to royalty.
Chao: Someone's jealous.
Shade: In both senses of the word.
Chao: Shade, I'm fit by NATURE to be the leader of the Dark Garden now.
Shade: Yeah, well, I'm fit by ANCESTRY to be the leader of the Dark Garden now.
Chao: Prove it.
[the screen fades to old pictures of Dark chao as Shade voices over things]
Shade (VO): The Dark Garden was founded long ago by MY ancestors. The original Fountaneers. The folks like Echo and...
the.. other guy, who is my ancestor. Then there was Shawn. You remember him. The MILKMAN. My father. He was the lord of the
Dark Garden before me, then when he got too old, he passed the dynasty down to me.
?: Shade.
Chapter 4: In the Presence of Enemies, Part 2
[back in the Dark Garden, Echo is standing at the door]
Echo: It would seem your break is not going as planned.
Shade: Hell, no. Could you get this loser out of the Garden, please?
Echo: No can do, former lord of the Dark Garden.
Shade: I'm STILL the lord.
Echo: You haven't been for the last two years.
Shade: What do you want? You guys only show up when something REALLY important is happening.
Nite: Something really important IS happening.
[Levity Nite steps into the Garden]
Shade: Levity...
Nite: In our efforts to stop this script, we came across a wholly unexpected new development.
Echo: In fact, the development has various symptoms.. including the reason why we had to pull you out of Euphoria so fast.
Shadow: DCA's fifth anniversary?
Shade: Are you trying to say that TIME is the development?
Nite: No, we pulled you out of there because a fugitive is loose in that city.
Echo: This fugitive has the ability to bend the script at will. We had to get you out of there before...
Shade: Before what?
Echo: Before.... you became the catalyst for further destruction.
Nite: If the fugitive is able to speak with you, he would be able to bend the script to get to us.
Echo: Or worse!
Nite: There's no telling what he would do, actually.
Echo: We simply HAD to evacuate you as quickly as possible.
Shadow: But.. what about the chaos drive that was deep down there?
Egg: My boy, do you not know WHAT a chaos drive IS?
[in walks Doctor Eggman]
Egg: Neither do we, honestly, but I am trying to say there are more than seven of them in existence. Far more.
Shadow: Eggman! Are you..?
Egg: Harharhar, yes. You see, one of the Veteran's Committee members has... passed away, so they needed another member.
Shadow: Well... congratulations.
Egg: Thank you.
Chao: Uh.. hey, guys? Could we wrap this up soon?
Egg: Oh, yes, of course. This new development will be coming up surprisingly shortly.
Shadow: HOW surprisingly?
Echo: Couple of serials.
Red: Well, that's not too bad.
Nite: The symptoms of the development will become increasingly evident as you continue through your adventures.
Echo: Eventually, the symptoms will be so big that you won't know what's meant to happen and what's not.
Shadow: So.. you guys are losing control?
Egg: I'm afraid so. There's no telling where this development will go, but we can only fear the worst.
Shade: Do you know exactly what we're dealing with, here?
Nite: We don't have a 100%-positive ID yet, but we've got a logical theory.
Shade: Okay, now why did you send us HERE, why did you just now come here to tell us this, and... yeah!
Nite: We learned that a chaos drive was held here, in the Dark Garden.
Echo: We just now came to tell you of this because... well...
Egg: Which one of us is going to tell him?
Nite: How about all of us at once?
Egg: Sounds good, yeah.
Echo: Let's do it. Three, two, one...
All: Shawn's dying.
Shade: WAT
Egg: I'm so sorry to have to tell you this.
Shade: WAT
Echo: We've been keeping a close eye on him, but.. he's bound to go any day now.
Shade: WAT
Nite: He is dying from a symptom of the developments mentioned earlier.
Shade: WAT
Egg: We realize this must be hard for you.
[Shade holds back some tears]
Shade: I've.. I've got to help him. I've got to find some way to.. cure him, or avenge him, or.. HELP.
Nite: Then you'd better come with us.
TO BE CONTINUED...

Some concerns of mine.

Alright, so a couple of things are bothering me right now.

First of all, there's DCAHall3. I freaking love working on it, and I think it has the potential to be a good story (even if I replaced all the chao with random characters), but I hardly think anyone's gonna read it. So I'm gonna advertise Dark Chao Adventures a little more. I'm gonna tell people about it. I'm gonna go to random forums and post it. ...I.. I think I'm gonna try GameFAQs. No. No, Jordan. Stop. Think rationally for a second.

Well, anyway.. my second concern is DCA714.. y'know, the next REAL episode of DCA? Part two of SHOCKED!!! ? Well, I haven't even started it yet. I think.. I think making this serial a Bioshock one was kind of a bad idea. I mean, don't get me wrong; Bioshock is a great game and all, but.. for one thing, I've never finished it. xD Secondly, it's just.. not... fit for the chao. Maybe I should change it up an octave? Hell, I had been planning on using that shocking plot twist seen at the end of the last eppy as a springboard into brand-new developments.

Hmmm... perhaps I'll just leave the main series sitting here for a bit, and focus on my two current plots: advertisement and DCAHall3. I mean, I've got pretty big plans for this special. Why do you think I started it so early? It's 'cause I want it to be a true monolith.

HMMMMMM.... maybe I should make the next episode of DCA a really short one? xD Just to shake things up a bit? ..I'll probably just wait until some advertising is done. We'll see if I can establish a stable fanbase again.

Stay on the scene like a sex machine, everybody. :D -DJay32

The ultimate promotional phrase...

"I did see him." -DCAHall3

This is a Press Release Document

Presenting a new script from the creator of Pelottaa Scary Stuff and Gears n' Roses...

Dark Chao Adventures Halloween 2010: Slender Nightmares of the Subterranean

For Halloween this year, the chao won't have time to celebrate... for it will take place right smack dab in the middle of Season Seven! Tale One will involve a serious threat taken right from the darkest corners of the internet... and Tale Two will send the chao deep underground, where claustrophobia is not the only thing our 'heroes' will have to fear.

Some chaos drives simply aren't worth getting...

Coming October 31st, 2010

More information to come.

Somewhere.... beyond the sea! Somewhere, waiting for me...

What happened last time on DCA?
Shadow, the green Dark chao, is the star. He must get seven green chaos drives.
Shade, Dark, and Red are helping him.
They need the chaos drives in order to stop the Veteran's Committee from ending the show.
Of course, the Veteran's Committee has sorta... hired Shadow to get the drives for their own gain.
Last time we checked on him, Shadow had just acquired his second chaos drive.
Let's find out where Shadow's adventures will take him next, today on...

DARK CHAO ADVENTURES
Season Seven: The End (aka Season Six part two)
Episode Sixty-four: SHOCKED!!! (A Riveting Tale of Oceanic Excitement!) part one: There's a Secret in the Sea...


Chapter 1: Somewhere, Beyond the Sea...
[cut to the void]
[the chao wake up from stasis]
Shadow: *YAAAAWWWWWWWN* Ah.. mmm... huh. Hey, guys, wake up.
[Shade, Dark, and Red wake up]
Red: I wonder where.. where we're going next.
Shadow: If my memory serves, it was something like.. the Atlantic Ocean.
Shade: Aw, geez... I can guess where this'll be.
[Levity Nite appears]
Nite: And you will undoubtedly guess wrong.
Shade: I will?
Nite: Yes. It would appear we have made a minor miscalculation as to where the next chaos drive resides.
Shadow: Really?
Nite: Yeahh.. you see, our anonymous source told us the Atlantic Ocean... but then we checked it out for ourselves.
Red: Go on.
Nite: There is a Chao Transporter at the exact coordinates we were given.
Shade: A Chao Transporter? So.. it's in the Gardens?
Nite: It seemed so. We followed our anonymous tip even further to a Chao GBA thingy.
[Shade and Dark fall silent with fear]
Shadow: Yes, and then?
Nite: A certain option was highlighted onscreen. "Goodbye."
Shadow: So.. so the next chaos drive.. is on the Chao World?
Nite: As far as we are certain, yes.
Shadow: Did you investigate any further than that?
Nite: You weren't gone that long, you know. BUT, we WERE able to find one thing out..
Shadow: Yuh-huh?
Nite: Your next chaos drive.. is somewhere in the sea.
[Levity Nite disappears]
Shade: Dude... I am NOT looking forward to this. This is the freaking CHAO WORLD we're talking about.
Dark: Land of nutjobs and half-wits...
[the void begins to dissolve; a beach slowly fades in]
[suddenly, the chao find themselves on said beach in the Chao World, surrounded by many local chao]
Shadow: Well... here we are.
Shade: Yes. Here we are.
Red: Yup.
Dark: Yep. ...HEY IT'S A BEACH
[Dark runs off, and starts playing in the ocean]
Shade: Don't bother chasing him. He'll grow tired shortly.
Dark: NO I WON'T
[Shade laughs and shakes his head]
[Shadow looks around]
Shadow: There's got to be someone who knows where the chaos drive is.
?: (Russian accent) Hey. Friend.
[the three approach a Dark chao selling ice cream]
Shadow: You mean me?
?: Yes. Call me "Ice Cream Man."
Shade: Isn't there anything else we can call you other than the seller of dairy treats?
ICM: Very well. "Ice Cream Man" is only codename, for it has same initials as Ivan Corey Mallet.
Shadow: See, Ivan Mallet is an awesome name.
Mallet: Thank you. Anyway, I hear you are looking for the... how you say.. chaos drives?
Shadow: Yes, we are. Do you happen to know where any of them are?
Mallet: As matter of fact... da. I am knowing where one is.
Red: And where's that?
[Ivan Mallet looks around for any witnesses, then he leans closer to the chao]
Mallet: There is one at bottom of ocean.
Shade: Uh.. yeah, thanks; we could figure that out.
Mallet: Ah, of course, of course. But, I am knowing more of it than you. Get your friend, and be following me.
[Ivan turns and walks into a small beach shack]
[the Darks get Dark and head into the shack]
Chapter 2: Somewhere, Waiting for Me...
Mallet: ..(Irish accent) a'ight, then. Enuff o' the Russian ****.
[Shade and Dark fall silent with fear]
Mallet: After all, I only played Russian ta fool those tourists. 'Foi showed me Oyrish self, I'd never get stuff done.
Shadow: Well, you're great with accents.
Mallet: Thank ya. Lissen, I know why yer really here... you are from the past.
Red: Wait.. what?
Mallet: Ya moight not 'av known it yerself, but.. y'air. Thirteh years.
Shade: How the heck do you know this?
Mallet: 'Cause I seen you, meself, thirteh years back. An' ain't no bloke from 'roundeer dun't know 'bout.....
[Ivan collects his thoughts]
Mallet: ....no, if you dun' know 'bout it nao, no sense tellin' you 'bout it, meself.
[he gets up and leads the chao to his garage]
[a form of plane is parked]
Mallet: Juss take this plane, yeah? Floi it out, 'bout.. mile an' two yerrrrds out.
Shadow: We'll know what we're looking for when we see it, right?
Mallet: 'Course.
[the Darks enter the plane]
Red: Aren't you coming, Mallet?
Mallet: No, oi've got me oice cream to take carev.
[Mallet leaves the garage]
Shadow: Um... anybody else feel like we were just rushed into a plane?
[BZZZZRT]
[a small radio in the plane turns on]
MalletRadio: Oi, mate! Couldja mebby foire the plane up an' sterrrt floin'?
Shadow: Fine, fine!
[Shadow starts the plane up, and starts flying]
[they fly over the ocean]
MalletR: I may 'av messed up a detail...
Shadow: And what is THAT?
MalletR: Yer gonna 'afta floi a good distance into the noite.
Shade: HEY, hold up, mister "Oirish man!" That wasn't part of the deal!
MalletR: I thought your deal was wif t'Vet'ran's C'mittee... not ME.
[Shade shuts up]
Shadow: *sigh* Alright... we'll do it.
MalletR: Yeah, I mean, you want that chaos droive, roite?
[the radio turns off]
Red: ...guys?
Shadow: Yeah, Red?
Red: I have a bad feeling about this mission.
Shade: *gulp* You and me, both, Red...
Shadow: MY bad feelings sink deeper and deeper... notably whenever Mallet says something.
Shade: I second that.
[hours pass]
Dark: Sh..Shade...
Shade: What's wrong, Dark?
Dark: I don't like this.
Shade: *sigh* Me, neither, Dark........ me, neither.
Red: I can't believe we're back in the Chao World. I HATE this place.
Shade: I can't believe we're thirty years in the future here.
Shadow: I can't believe we're looking for something deep in the ocean thirty years in the future here.
Dark: I can't believe it's margarine.
[more hours pass]
[night falls, and Red has taken over flying for a bit]
[BZZZZRT]
MalletR: 'Ow ya 'oldin' up?
Red: *yawn* I'm... getting tired.
MalletR: Cerrrful, Red. Don't want you fallin' asleep at the wheel, nao...
[the radio turns off]
Red: I'm NOT gonna... *yawn* ...fall asleep... at the wheel...
Chapter 3: My Lover Stands on Golden Sands...
[cut to Shadow's POV, sitting in his seat, legs crossed]
Shadow: My parents always used to tell me, "Son... you're gonna grow up to do great things."
[he pulls a lollipop out of his mouth]
Shadow: Well.... they were right.
[suddenly, Red dozes off at the wheel]
[the plane plummets down to the ocean]
[Shadow blacks out]
[a few seconds later, Shadow wakes up underwater]
[he looks around and sees the debris from the plane sinking]
[he quickly swims to the surface]
[at the surface, he breaths heavily, and looks around for the others]
Shadow: GUYS?! *pant pant* Guys? You there?!
Shade: KID!
[amidst the fire and crashed plane, Shadow notices Shade swimming nearby]
Shade: C'MON!
[Shadow swims over to Shade; on the way, he finds the radio and grabs it]
[Dark and Red find their way to Shade, as well]
Dark: Shade.. I'm scared.
Shade: I don't blame you, Dark.
Red: Shade.... where.. where do we go now?
Shadow: Guys! Look!
[Shadow points at a lighthouse nearby]
Red: That's strange. Why is a lighthouse out in the middle of the ocean?
Shadow: Who cares? It's solid ground.
[they swim to the lighthouse and ascend some stairs, out of the water]
[Shadow tries the radio]
Shadow: Mallet? *hits radio* ...Mallet, do you read?
[silence]
Shadow: Guess the radio's out. Maybe we should check out what's in here?
Shade: ..fine.
[they enter the lighthouse, and find it pitch black]
Shadow: Hello? Anyone here?
[the door behind them closes]
Red: Wha?
[the lights turn on, revealing a giant statue in the center of the room]
[it is of a Dark chao, standing proudly]
[a banner hangs across it, reading "NO GODS OR KINGS. ONLY CHAO. -Andrew Ryder"]
Shade: This can't be happening.
Dark: I think I'm gonna cry.
Shadow: What? What can't be happening?
Shade: I.... I....... I'll tell you later.
[they head down some stairs and find some form of orbular submarine]
Shadow: Terrible description.
Red: I wonder what's inside?
Shade: *sigh*
[they head into the sphere, and find a lever]
Dark: ...
Shade: ...
Red: .....anybody gonna pull it?
Shadow: I guess I will.
Shade: Before you do... are.. are you SURE you wanna go through with this?
Shadow: Well, it's the only way to get the next chaos drive.
Shade: ..fine. Fine. Go.
[Shadow pulls the lever; the plexiglass door to the sphere slams shut]
Shadow: Oh, boy.
[the sphere descends into the water, down a very large tunnel]
[they pass various signs listing how many fathoms beneath the sea they are]
[40... 400...... 400,000...]
[a screen comes down in front of the window, and a projector activates]
[on the screen is the Dark chao depicted on the statue]
["From the desk of Andrew Ryder" is written on the bottom of the screen]
[a recording of a voice plays]
Ryder: I am Andrew Ryder, and I am here to ask you a question: is a chao not entitled to the sweat of his brow?
[the chao listen to the recording with great intent]
Ryder: "No," says the chao in the Chao World, "it belongs to the poor."
[dramatic close-up shots of the chao, and.. insert more filler]
Ryder: "No," says the chao in the Hero Garden, "it belongs to the Hero Chaos."
[Shade chuckles at this; "That IS what they say.."]
Ryder: "No," says the chao in the Dark Garden, "it belongs to everyone."
[Shade then quickly shuts up, and looks around nervously]
Ryder: I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible! I... chose...
[the picture switches off; the screen retracts into the ceiling, revealing what's out the window]
[there is a breathtaking city stationed at the bottom of the ocean; neon lights and skyscrapers are everywhere]
[no streets, though; the buildings are connected by sealed-off walkways]
[thousands of fish are seen swimming around; even a whale is seen]
Ryder: ...Euphoria. A city where the artist would not fear the censor.
[Shadow smiles at this comment]
Ryder: Where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality.
[Red smiles at this]
Ryder: Where the great would not be constrained by the small.
[Shade lets a small smirk out, then quickly hides it as a sense of familiarity strikes him]
Ryder: And with the sweat of your brow, Euphoria can become your city, as well.
[the recording switches off as the sphere floats towards a building]
Shadow: This place is amazing!
Shade: We really shouldn't be here.
Red: This city is astounding!
Dark: This place is really familiar.
Shade: Dark's right. This is all from Bioshock.
Dark: No, I mean... the.... something about this place... gives me a bad vibe. A familiar one.
[Dark walks up to the window, and scans the scenery]
Dark: I keep.. expecting... to see... someone.
[Shadow's radio activates]
Shadow: Whoa, finally, a signal!
MalletR: But the whole loitehowse is set off loike 'ellfoire. ..looks like some koind of plane crash.
?R: We're in the middle of the Chat Ocean. How could it--
MalletR: Dunno. You'd best get over there-- and be quick about it; the sploicers are comin'.
(Okay, fine, I won't toipe out the Oirish accent no more. :P)
?R: You've got to be kidding. How do you even know anybody's even coming?
MalletR: 'Cause we've got one o' them bathyspheres on its way down; we've got company.
?R: O..okay. Just one more minute. The sphere.. the sphere is coming up now.
MalletR: Johnny, security's banging all over-- get a move on!
[the bathysphere (submarine thing) surfaces inside a building (and.. airlocks n' stuff, so there's air inside)]
Chapter 4: And Watches the Ships that Go Sailin'...
[the chao look out the window and see complete darkness, save for the occasional flash of light, showing figures]
Johnny: Please, lady... I didn't mean to trespass. You can have my gun, just don't kill me, please!
[FLASH-- a chao brutally murders another chao]
[silence]
[the chao can just about make out the shadow of an.. odd chao]
Chao?: ........is it someone NEW?
[the chao screams, then hops away]
MalletR: Boy? Boy, you there?
Shadow: Um.. yes, I'm here, Mallet. Are you.. are you.. here, in the city?
MalletR: No, but Johnny told me of the plane crash, an' I'm on me way there now.
Shadow: That's good! Yes, that's very good.
MalletR: I don't know how you survived that plane crash, but.. lissen.. I aim to keep you alive.
Shadow: Thank you.
MalletR: Step out of the bathysphere. We're gonna draw her out.
Shadow: Wait, draw WHO out?
MalletR: The sploicer.
Shadow: Um.. okay.
[Shadow creeps out of the bathysphere]
Chao?: I'm gonna wrap you in a sheet.
[Shadow looks around; the female chao leaps at him]
[the chao is then instantly shot at by a turret defense system and killed]
MalletR: Now, couldja mebby grab a crowbar or summin'? You'll want a weapon.
[Shade finds a wrench and grabs it]
Shade: Lost in Bioshock. May as well make the most of it, yeah?
Shadow: Good, you're lightening up to things.
Shade: Yeah... I s'pose I AM.
Dark: I'm not...
Shade: Sheesh, Dark, will you chill? You've been freaking out ever since we started this mission.
Dark: But.. but this isn't good. I swear, this place is so familiar.
Shadow: Please calm down, Dark. Everything'll be okay.
Shade: Yeah, there's no way this can be any worse than Bioshock.
Red: Um.. Veteran's Committee, Shade.
Shade: ..............****!!! I had completely forgotten!
Shadow: Guys, we don't have time to debate about how bad things will get. We have to move on.
MalletR: Yes, please do, boys.
Shade: Fine! Fine. Let's hurry and get this done with.
[they enter the next room, and find the exit is having some technical difficulties]
Shadow: Great. We're stuck in here 'til we find a way to jump start a door.
Red: Maybe we can find something up these stairs?
[they head up some stairs]
[a vending machine is there; at the hatch.. thing of the machine is a syringe filled with blue liquid]
[pause]
Dark: I call "not it."
Shade: Not it.
Shadow: Not it!
Red: Hey, now that's not fair. You're the Green One. You HAVE to be it.
Shadow: I hate you.
[Shadow grabs the syringe and injects himself with it]
Shadow: GUH! Ah, I always hated taking shots. Stings a little. At least it's over n--
[Shadow falls over; he gets up and grips his arm in pain]
Shadow: ****!!!! Ahh! Ahhhh! Ohhhhh... aahhhhhh!
[his arm turns blue]
MalletR: Steady now! Your genetic code is being rewritten! Just hold on and everything will be fine!
Shadow: WHAAAT?!
[he runs to a balcony and jumps off of it]
[THUD! .....silence]
[the other chao stand awkwardly for a moment before heading down the stairs]
[Shadow is lying on the ground, arm throbbing; sparks are flying from it]
MalletR: You alright, boy?
Shadow: *cough* Ugh.... just about.
MalletR: First time Arrem's a real kick from a mule. But there's nothin' like a fistful of fury, is there?
Shadow: "Arrem?"
MalletR: Yeah, Arrem. It's a type of Remtal.
Shadow: "Remtal?"
MalletR: Oi, no need ta make fun o' me accent. I dunno how to really pronounce it.
Shadow: Ah, whatever. What does this Arrem do?
MalletR: That particular Arrem makes it so you can shoot lightning out of your fist.
Shadow: ...that has got to be the coolest thing ever.
[Shadow shoots the exit that is having technical difficulties]
[it opens]
Shadow: Well, that's pretty damn useful!
[they move on to a small plexiglass hallway connecting two buildings]
[out one window, in another hallway, is a tall hooded figure leading a small faceless chao]
[our heroes stand in awe]
Dark: I.. don't.. like... this place.
[they keep moving on, and enter the next building]
[inside, a crazy male chao (wearing a mask) charges at them]
MalletR: A sploicer! Zap 'em, then whack 'em! The one-two punch! Remember! The one-two punch!
[Shadow zaps the chao, then Shade whacks him; he dies]
[they move through the building, killing some sploicers, then they enter an elevator and ride it up]
MalletR: I've made it to Euphoria. I tried to make it through a back door, but it's.. locked.
Shadow: You want us to unlock it, right?
MalletR: Yeah. 'S over at the Entertainment Center, "Neptunes R Us."
Shadow: Hm. Neptunes R Us.
MalletR: Lissen.. I know you must feel like the unluckiest chao in the world right now...
Shadow: A little bit, yeah. And Dark's fears don't really help.
MalletR: You're my only hope to get in there.
Shadow: Why do you want to get in here?
MalletR: I know how to get you the chaos drive.
Shadow: ...it's a deal, Mallet.
[they reach the top of the elevator]
[a shadow is cast from around the next corner-- a female chao is sobbing over a baby's pram]
Shade: Alright, Shadow, on the count of three, you're gonna zap her.
Shadow: Why? She's obviously lost her baby.
Shade: "Obviously" doesn't count for **** anymore, buddy. C'mon. One.. two... three!
[they hop around the corner, zap, then whack the chao]
[inside the pram was a pistol]
MalletR: Arrem changed everythin'. It destroyed our bodies.. our minds....
Shadow: I can tell.
MalletR: We couldn't handle it. Best friends butcherin' one another... babies strangled in cribs...
Shade: And replaced with pistols.
MalletR: And then there was the whole "mass sacrifice" deal every Tuesday... eah, doesn't matter.
Shade: Yeah, the whole city went to Hell.
MalletR: Boy... you don't know the half of it.
[they enter a restaurant; a neon sign says "Happy New Year 2039"]
Shadow: Hey, Mallet? What year is it?
MalletR: Well, uh.. for the sake of the story, it's 2040.
Shadow: Alright, thanks.
[next to a corpse sitting at a table is a strange device]
Shadow: What's this thing?
MalletR: If you're seein' what I think you are, try pressin' the "Play" button.
Shadow: Okay, the "Play" button...
[beep!]
(Diane McChaotock- New Year's Sadface)
"Well. Here I am. Alone on New Year's Eve... the silliest girl in Euphoria. Silly enough to fall in love with Andrew Ryder.
Silly enough to-- *STATIC* What? Wha? What's... what's going on? HOLY--"
[they look at the corpse once more; it is missing various limbs, and has no eyes]
Red: I wonder what happened on New Year's.
Shade: Gah! Don't say stuff like that, otherwise we'll end up finding out!
Red: But.. don't we want to?
Shade: NO!
Shadow: I think I'm with Shade this time. After our last adventure, I don't.. really.. want to threaten my life anymore.
[they explore the restaurant, killing whatever sploicers they find]
[in the women's restroom, they find another device]
[beep!]
(Bobby Johnson- Hole in the Bathroom)
"Yo, Flora. This is Bobby from the theater. I dunno what kinda restaurant yer tryin' to pull, but I got people complainin'
about a hole in yer bathroom wall, lettin' all the stink out! I'm tryin' to run a respectable theater, so I don't want to
have to deal with my payin' customers worryin' about the stink comin' from yer crapper. Get it fixed."
Shadow: Gotta admit, I didn't want to know that.
Red: Now hold on a second, Shadow. This hole might take us further.
Shadow: I guess...
[they search the bathrooms and find a big hole leading to a theater balcony]
Chapter 5: Somewhere, Beyond the Sea (Reprise)
[a chao is down on the ground floor, singing a childlike song and doing something to a corpse]
MalletR: Careful now... couldja mebby lower your weapon for a minute?
[Shadow glances at Shade, who lowers his crowbar]
[they carefully walk across a catwalk, observing the chao down on the ground]
Shadow: What is that guy doing?
MalletR: You think that's a chao down there? Don't be fooled. He's a Little Reaper now.
Shadow: "Little Reaper..?"
MalletR: Someone went and turned an innocent baby chao into a monster.
Shade: Right, and it's up to us to kill each and every one of them.
Shadow: K..kill them? But.. but that's wrong..
MalletR: Whatever they taught you about right an' wrong in your time... doesn't count fer much down here.
Shadow: But.. why.. why is...
MalletR: They carry Remtal.. everyone wants it.. everybody needs it.
[they make it to the other balcony, and descend some stairs]
[they enter a room with a window looking out to the Little Reaper]
[a sploicer approaches the Little Reaper]
Sploicer: Hey there, little kid... you wanna come for a ride in my van? Right this way...
[the Little Reaper screams]
Sploicer: N-no! Don't!
[a tall, hooded figure slowly walks into the room]
[it grabs the sploicer with one (cloaked) hand, and holds him up]
[the sploicer tries to shield his eyes, but ends up staring directly into the face behind the cloak]
[a red substance seeps out of the figure and into the sploicer]
Sploicer: URGH... AHH... AHHHHAAHHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHasdufasd bn
[the figure drops the sploicer, whose head then explodes]
[the Little Reaper follows the figure out of the room]
[pause]
[Dark screams]
Shade: C-calm down, Dark... please.
Dark: BUT THAT THAT THAT FIGURE NO WAY THAT STUFF THAT THAT THAT...
[Dark falls silent with fear]
Shadow: Mallet... Mallet, what the.. what was that?
MalletR: That was a Turgii.
Shadow: Ugh, I can't understand your freaking accent! ...sorry.
MalletR: Doesn't matter. The Little Reaper gathers Remtal, the Turgii keeps 'em safe.
Shadow: But what.. what happened to that guy?
Red: His head exploded!
MalletR: That's what happens when you touch raw Remtal. It's not always the head, and it's not always an explosion.
Shadow: Whoa... this is heavy.
MalletR: Keep movin', boy! Neptunes R Us is right around the corner!
Shadow: Right...
[they enter the next room and approach a sign that says "Neptunes R Us"]
[a gate slams shut, blocking entrance; an alarm goes off]
MalletR: DAMMIT!
Shadow: Wh..what happened?
MalletR: It's Ryder! He found us! He's blocked off exit to Neptunes! Argh, you'll have to go around!
Shadow: How?!
MalletR: There's a way through Medical! Go to Medical!
Shadow: Got it!
[they fight off some more sploicers and enter a gate that reads "Medical District"]
[they walk around a corner, and are suddenly locked in a small, dark room]
MalletR: He's trapped you! I.. I'm gonna see if I can't bypass the system, okay?
[a projector activates, showing a video of Andrew Ryder giving a monumental speech]
Ryder: Centuries ago, there existed a utopia unmatched by all others...
Many would try to enter. They would be allowed, so long as they respected the customs.
But, there would often be chao entering who were trying to rob the city of its secrets and technology.
Those people would always be met with extreme prejudice.
When I established Euphoria, circa 2026, I made sure to follow each and every example set by that city.
BUT, I chose to set some of my OWN examples... for instance: Euphoria would be a utopia.. in an unthinkable place.
Where on Chao World could I possibly place a city that no other city has been?
Then I got it. Euphoria wouldn't be a NEW utopia...
It would be an OLD one, brought to NEW life by one simple change.
In the year of 2018, I became President of Darku, and my first order of business was to secretly work on Euphoria.
The Tlekozamfa was to be transformed into sea. You now know it as the Ryder Ocean, named after myself.
Of course, as the old fables of yore go, Tlekozamfa is old Darkonjurf for "Unthinkable Valley..."
For Tlekozamfa is the geographical location of the aforementioned ancient utopia.
I sank this valley into the sea, thereby changing the face of the planet and rendering myself an unforgettable president.
After my second term, the utopia had adjusted to its new conditions surprisingly well.
I mean that.
It looked completely untouched!
Since a good decade of clean-up and pressurization was unnecessary, I formally opened Euphoria to the public.
One day, our scientists discovered a secret lab, and a strange substance. It horrifically decapitated all who touched it.
It was later discovered that it was this substance that kept the city safe as it sunk the brimey deeps.
Scriptures were found in the labs that labelled it Red Metal.
Let me say that once more, for it sounds very powerful! Very.. proud. Red. Metal.
It was as obvious then as it is now... the founders of the ancient utopia were pure geniuses. Why, you ask?
If you mix Red Metal with sodium chloride, it becomes a gene splicing treatment!
We deemed this new substance "Remtal." It changes your genetic code so that you may better yourself in whatever you'd like.
As an example, if one were to find himself too slow, one would just apply the correct Arrem, and he would be faster.
Right, right. Remtal is the substance, itself. Arrem beefs up individual traits.
Now, on to more pressing matters. You, there. What are you doing in my city?
Who sent you? Was it the Darks? The Heroes? Or maybe the Neutrals aren't as they say they are?
Or were you perhaps sent by an... OUTSIDE source?
You will never learn the secrets of Euphoria. No negotiations.
Perhaps if you'd care to negotiate with these other people, though...
[the video switches off; a horde of sploicers are heard banging on the doors and shouting]
[the door behind them opens]
MalletR: Alright, I've opened the door! Go now! To Medical!
[the chao run into the next room and close the door]
[this room is some kind of airlock]
Shade: Guys.
Red: No.
Shadow: I don't...
Dark: ...
Shade: Guys.
Red: This isn't... this can't..
Shadow: I mean...
Dark: ...
Shade: This is much worse... than I could have ever predicted.
Red: This can't be real! This CANNOT BE REAL!
Shadow: I.. I don't know.. what is happening right now.
Dark: ...
Shade: But, dude! You were there!
Red: DCA09?
Shadow: I.. I was a minor character back then. Very minor. I don't remember anything.
Dark: ...
Shade: Dude.. let me put it in simple terms...
Red: We are all going to die.
Shade: We're dabbling with the single most INSANE city ever known.
Red: It's a wonder we haven't seen the Nomble yet.
Shade: But I'm sure we've seen the Tour Gui--
Dark: DON'T SAY THAT NAME.
[the chao stare at Dark]
Dark: That.. THING back there wasn't my.. the Tour Guide.
Red: How can you be sure?
Dark: I.. I just know. I do.
Shadow: Can someone PLEASE tell me what is going on?
Red: Ah, we may as well.. if not for him, then at least for the readers who haven't read DCA09.
Shade: *sigh* Alright... listen. Euphoria is basically a copypasta'd version of the secretcity.
Red: The secretcity that rested deep in Chao World for ages, and killed all who entered it.
Shade: There's nothing but crazy puzzles and the occasional ominous character in here.
Shadow: Yes, but.. where ARE we?!
Dark: We're in Chao Talk!
TO BE CONTINUED...

More tossing out.

Next episode is nearing completion. Haven't beaten the actual game yet, but.. whatever.

But... would you kindly read it once it's done? I've put a lot of effort-ish stuff into it.

Just throwing it out there.

I will begin work on the next episode once I have beaten the game it is based on. Don't worry, it won't take me long.

..though tell me..... is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?

Time?

I had forgotten to post this episode. xD I made it within hours of the previous one.

HERE'S THE SCOOP ON DCA:
Shadow is a green Dark chao. He is now the star. He has to look for seven green chaos drives.
One is in Future Europe. To get it, he must assassinate Doctor Eggman, who has taken over the world.
He has just reached the Egg Citadel (the stronghold in which Eggman resides), and is about to do some awesome stuff.


DARK CHAO ADVENTURES
Episode Sixty-Three: Still Waiting for Half-Time part five: Time?

[cut to the top of the Egg Citadel]
[Shadow is standing on a platform, shooting energy balls into something the camera won't show]
[Shade, Future Shade, Dark and Red are watching from in a window behind him]
[they are quiet, and watching anxiously]
Shadow: I don't think I can do this... ah, here goes nothing...
[he shoots one last energy ball]
[explosions are heard]
[the window behind him breaks open, and the other four chao jump out to him and celebrate]
Dark: DUDE! DUUUUDE! DUUUUUUUUUUUE!
Red: That was... that was simply...
Dark: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!
Red: I mean, WOW... you're...
Dark: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!
Red: You.. you're... ah, screw it!
Both: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!
Shade: *chuckle* Congratulations, Shadow. You... you passed the final test. You rock.
ShadeF: You prolly deserve my shotgun for pulling off a feat like that.
Shadow: Was I really that good?
Shade: Yeah.
ShadeF: Don't get cocky or anything; we need to get the hell outta here while we've still got
[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!]
[everything slows to a halt as a HUMONGOUS explosion expands (and freezes, as well)]
[pause]
[pause]
Echo: ...TIME..... Shadow Raid?
[Shadow looks around, still frozen in time]
Echo: Is it really that... TIME... again?
[Echo walks in on the scene, seeming to drift in through time]
Echo: It feels as if... you've.. only just.. arrrrIIIVED.
[Echo walks over to Shadow and touches him; Shadow is able to move]
Echo: You've done a.. great DEal in a small... TIME...span.
Shadow: Ugh, what, what?
[Echo unfreezes Shade, as well]
Echo: You've done SO well, in fact... that I've been offered some.. INteresting offers for your services.
Shadow: You're gonna take 'em, aren't you?
[Echo unfreezes Dark]
Echo: Ordinarily, I wouldn't contemplate them, but... these are extrAORDInary... TIMES...
[Echo unfreezes Red next]
Echo: Rather than offer you the ilLUSion of free choice, I've taken the liberty of CHOO..SING... FOR..YOU!
All: Oh, COME ON.
Shade: Typical.
[Echo unfreezes Future Shade]
Echo: If... and WHEN... your... TIME... comes 'round... again.
[Echo sorta... well, he "drifts" them to the endless void]
Echo: I must apologize to you for what must seem an.. arbitrary imposition, Shadow Raid.
Shadow: Yeah, no, no, 'salright and everything..... seriously, tell me what the **** is going on!
Echo: I trust it will all make sense to you in the COUrssse of.......
[Echo hesitates for a second]
Echo: Wellll... I'm really NOT..... at liberty to SAY.
[the chao look at each other in confusion]
[Echo begins heading away from them]
Echo: In the MEAN...TIME........ this is where I get off.
[a door of light opens in the void; Echo walks through; it closes]
Shadow: Okay, so hold up. Is it just me... or did he forget to put us in stasis?
Red: I.. I think he DID, yeah.
Shadow: Great. We're stuck just sitting around for who knows how long.
ShadeF: So, while we're here, mind telling me what happened? Like.. how you got through the Egg Citadel without dying?
Shadow: I suppose. Alright, gather around. Let's tell him how it happened.
Chapter 12: Hour Factors
[cut to Shadow in an underground passageway; he has a crowbar and a gravity gun]
[he walks to the end of the passage]
[he finds himself at a large cliffside, going down for miles; some ledges and footholds surround him]
Shadow: Whoa.. this might be a little harder than I thought. ..at least it won't be as tough as what I just went through.
[he hops down to a ledge, and walks along the ledges and footholds]
[he looks for some sort of entrance to the Egg Citadel (which is on the other side of the cliff)]
[he sees some form of metal contraption that he uses as a platform to enter a small opening]
Shadow: Sweet, I'm in!
[the small opening leads to a humongous room; the ceiling is nowhere in sight, nor is the ground below]
Shadow: So.. this is the Egg Citadel.
[the room has a "blue" feeling to it, very robotic and lifeless]
[Shadow walks along the platforms and eventually finds some form of transport system--]
[--some pods are being pulled along a rail system]
[Shadow picks a pod and climbs in]
Shadow: I probably shouldn't have done that, but.. whatever.
[the pod moves along the rails, through a passageway and into a much larger room]
[by "much larger," I mean "immensely and impossibly larger"]
[contraptions and machinery fill the room; Badniks are repairing other Badniks and Chaobine soldiers are patrolling]
[Shadow just gets a free ride, though]
[as he's moving along, other pods join the rail]
Shade: Whoa, Shadow, is that you?
Shadow: Shade?!
Dark: Me, too!
Shadow: Dark! Who else is here?
Red: Yo.
Shadow: Oh, you guys made it! How did you get here?
Shade: It's not a very long story. This, however, is a very long ride. Allow me to tell the story.
[cut to District 1 of Robotnikland 17]
[Shade, Dark, Red, Future Red, and a collection of many other chao are there]
RedF: Alright, the kid made it! Now, how are WE gonna get in?
White: Maybe we could go over the wall?
RedF: Nah, that ain't possible. Plus, there's a big trench on the other side. We'd fall and die.
Petrucci: Hm. ..well, the Badniks have to get back in there at some point, right?
Shade: ..I think John's onto something. Yeah! Let's follow some Badniks and see where they end up.
[they find a Chaobine soldier that's missing an arm]
[they hide and watch as it goes into a building]
RedF: Quick! Follow that soldier!
[they run into the building, and follow the soldier into a metallic passageway]
[the passageway takes them into an odd little room within the Egg Citadel]
Red: Alright, we're in. Now what?
Shade: I guess we should look for Shadow.
Dark: HEY GUYS LOOK it's a pod!
Senoue: What's the Pick of Destiny doing in the Egg Citadel?
Gaga: I think he means it's literally a pod.
White: Awesome, a pod! Let's climb in!
[Jack White hops in; it clamps shut and moves out of the room on a rail system]
Shade: Oh, snap! That ain't good.
Petrucci: Well, we're not seeing HIM again.
Shade: Screw you guys! I'm going in after him. Dark, Red, you guys coming?
Dark: Of course!
Red: May as well.
[the three hop in pods and follow]
RedF: .....they're dead.
Gaga: Most likely. C'mon, let's look for a SAFER way through the Egg Citadel.
Gioeli: You read my mind.
[they walk off-screen]
[cut back to Shadow, Shade, Dark, and Red in the pods]
Shade: And that's pretty much it. Jack White should be somewhere here. So keep an eye open.
[the pods take them through rooms where tripods are marching out of the citadel]
[rooms where freaky chao/Badnik hybrids are firing lasers out of their eyes to fix broken Badniks]
[rooms where razor trains are speeding out with cargo]
[eventually, once the pods go high enough, the chao are dropped off in a small room]
[White is there]
White: ohai.
Shade: Well, at least we found White.
Shadow: Yeah, but what's up with this room? There's a forcefield barring the exit.
ALARM: WARNING! UNAUTHORIZED WEAPONS DETECTED! CONFISCATION FIELD ACTIVATED!
All: Uh-oh.
[lasers fly through the air and destroy all their weapons]
Shade: MY CROWBAR! sadface
[suddenly, the lasers strike the gravity gun and spazz out]
[the gravity gun turns blue and shakes uncontrollably]
ALARM: WARNING! CONFISCATION FIELD MALFUNTION! SHUTTING DOWN!
[the forcefield disappears]
[Shadow grabs the gravity gun]
Shadow: Whoa. This thing is.. highly radiated.
Shade: C'mon, the field is down! Let's charge through and kick some tail.
[they run out of the room and already Chaobine soldiers have stormed the halls]
Shadow: Crap! Outflanked!
Shade: It's a million to one, so the numbers are ALMOST even. ...ALMOST.
Shadow: What do we do?!
Shade: Use your new toy.
[Shadow pulls a trigger on the gravity gun, and the immense force from the gun pulls in a whole Chaobine soldier]
Shadow: Whoa. I like this new gravity gun.
[he shunts the soldier into the others]
Red: I think that one was a 7-10 split, dude!
Shadow: Haha, let's rock.
[they run into the next room and see an elevator]
Shadow: Onto the elevator!
[they get on; Shadow fights off the surrounding soldiers]
[Red hits a button, and the elevator goes up]
[at the top of the elevator, they get off and fight off even more soldiers]
Shadow: This is a pretty boring chapter.
Shade: Sure, it's not as exciting as "Follow Freeman," but.. it's still awesome in its own way.
[they reach another room with an elevator]
Shadow: *sigh* You know the drill.
[on the elevator, hits a button, rise up]
[suddenly, the elevator stops moving]
Red: What the?
White: I think that freaky chao/Badnik hybrid is shutting the power for the elevator.
[in the distance is a freaky chao/Badnik hybrid firing a laser at an energy ball]
Shadow: Not on my watch.
[Shadow grabs a nearby energy ball and fires it at the hybrid; it disintegrates]
[he then grabs an energy ball and fires it at the generator; the elevator resumes operation]
[as they ride up, Eggman appears on a nearby monitor]
Egg: Tell me, Shadow Raid, if you can... you have destroyed so much. What is it, exactly, that you have created?
[Shadow ponders]
Egg: Can you name even ONE THING?
[pause]
Egg: ...I thought not.
[the monitor switches off]
Shade: Don't worry, dude. You'll get to shut him up.
[the elevator reaches the top; they walk through some narrow corridors]
[eventually, they reach a humongous hallway]
[the end of the hallway is too far to be seen]
Shade: Alright. This may be one of the coolest parts in any game EVER. We've gotta go through this hallway.
Shadow: That's fine. This'll be easy.
White: Even though you're the only one with a weapon?
Shadow: ..oh, right. ****.
[they enter the hallway, and start walking]
[in the distance are thousands of Chaobine soldiers (baby, normal, and Chaos)]
Shade: Go get 'em, tiger.
[Shadow grabs some empty pods that are on the walls, and he tosses them all at the soldiers]
Shadow: Steeeee-rike!
[the soldiers just keep coming]
[in the distance, a giant door opens]
[an Egg Tripod steps out (crushing tons of soldiers as it walks)]
Shadow: Awwwwww CRAP.
Shade: Dude! The orbs! Use the orbs!
[there are energy orbs scattered around]
Shadow: Of course!
[Shadow grabs an orb and fires it]
[SMACK!]
[and another]
[SMACK!]
[and one more]
[CRASSSHHHHH!!!]
[at the sight of the disintegrating tripod, the soldiers all run away]
Shadow: Wow, I wasn't expecting that reaction.
[the chao finally enter the next room]
[a giant monitor rests on the wall; Eggman's face appears on-screen]
Egg: It would seem you can topple my greatest creations quite easily. That's not advised, you know.
Shadow: Up yours, Doc!
Egg: So hostile. Hmph. You know, there ARE consequences to all your actions, right?
Shadow: Oh yeah? Like what?
[Eggman simply grins, and the monitor switches off]
White: Why do I not like the sound of that?
[behind them, Metal Sonic lands at the other end of the hallway]
MS: I'M GONNA KILL YOU!
Shadow: RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN!!!
[they run through some hallways, and find another pod/rail system]
Shadow: Quick, quick, get in!
[they hop in pods and are taken away]
Shadow: *pant* ****! That.. that was close.
Shade: *pant* Hoo... tell me about it.
[up ahead, pods are stopping as a scanner scans the contents]
Shadow: Uh-oh.
[their pods reach the scanners; it beeps and takes pictures of them]
[their pods go upwards into the ceiling, unlike the rest of the pods]
[the pods go up and up]
[higher and higher]
[the occasional window is seen, showing them miles above Robotnikland 17 (at sunset)]
[eventually, everything goes black]
Chapter 13: Dark Lord Energy
[Shadow's pod reaches a small room with two Chaos Chaobine standing guard]
Shadow: Wh..what?
[one guard takes his gravity gun]
Shadow: Hey! No! Don't!
[enter the future Purflee]
Shadow: Purflee? Wh..where..
PFF: Shhh. It's no use. Until you're where he wants you, there's nothing you can do.
Shadow: But.. where're the others?
PFF: They're being taken care of. I am so sorry, Shadow...
[a mechanical arm grabs the pod and carries it, following Purflee into Eggman's office]
[Eggman is talking with future Cham, who is also in a pod]
Egg: ..worlds stretched thin across the membrane where dimensions intersect... impossible to describe with our limited vocabulary!
ChamF: What I have seen is ALSO beyond words, Doctor. Genocide! Indescribable evil!
[Cham notices Shadow]
ChamF: Good Hero Chaos...
Egg: Well, well, well.. if it isn't Shadow Raid, at last.
[a guard shows Eggman the gravity gun]
Egg: What's that? Oh, just.. put it over there.
[the guard puts the gravity gun down on Eggman's desk]
Egg: You have my gratitude, Shadow Raid. First you lead me straight to the doorstep of the leader of the rebels...
Shadow: I didn't lead you there; you followed me!
Egg: ..and then you deliver YOURSELF! *chuckle* If I'd have known you'd come here, I wouldn't have bothered hunting you in the first place!
Shadow: Shut up, you swine.
Egg: Having you here insures that I can make whatever bargains I'd like with the Committee.
Shadow: You.. you want to BARGAIN with them?! You fool! They don't bargain with people; they RUIN people!
Egg: Oh, still your tongue! What would you know about them? You're only their messenger boy!
PFF: Doctor Robotnik...
Egg: Yes, Purflee?
PFF: The bargain we should be making is for Cham's life so he can continue his research!
Egg: YOU are more than eligible to continue his work, Purflee. What CHAM should do is convince that.. RABBLE in the streets to give up their efforts!
Shadow: Um.. just for the record, their efforts actually worked. I mean, I'm here.
Egg: But, he refuses to speak the words that would save them all.
ChamF: Save them? For WHAT?
Egg: If you refuse to do it for the sake of the people, perhaps you'd do it for ONE of them.
[Eggman presses a button, and in comes the future Shade in a pod]
ShadeF: Let go of me, fatso! *gasp* Shadow...
ChamF: Dammit, Eggman, you let him GO!
Egg: That is all up to YOU, my friend. Will you let your shortsightedness doom your entire people...?
[future Shade's pod joins the other two]
Egg: Or will you allow the ruler of the Dark Garden to continue being exactly that?
ShadeF: I swear, if you don't let us go, you're gonna get a face full of fist.
Egg: Shade, you have your mother's loving nature, but your father's stubbornness and incompetence.
ShadeF: How dare you even MENTION my parents, you.. you ****ing piece of...
Egg: Hohohoh! I wonder how well you'd fare on the other side of one of our interdimensional portals?
ChamF: Very well, Eggman, if that's the worst you can do, then send us BOTH through your portal.
Egg: Oh, it's hardly the worst I can do.. but you might find that hard to believe once you get there.
PFF: This isn't necessary!
Egg: Ah, I agree, it's a total waste. Fortunately, the rebels have shown they are ready for a NEW leader...
[Eggman walks up to Shadow]
Egg: And this one has proved to be a fine pawn for those who control him.
ShadeF: Don't listen to this ***hat, kid!
Egg: What will it be, Shadow? Did you realize that your contract was open to the highest bidder?
ShadeF: Shadow'd NEVER make any kind of deal with the likes of you!
Egg: I'll send your friends away so we can discuss this in private.
[future Shade and Cham are taken away]
Egg: Miss Purflee, if you wouldn't mind... I'd like a moment alone with Shadow Raid.
PFF: V..very well...
[Purflee leaves]
Egg: Well, Shadow?
Shadow: I must say, I'm impressed, Doc... I never thought you'd actually rule the world.
Egg: Oh, I can do much more than rule it. I can destroy it. I can save it. I can just leave it.
Shadow: Then why do you keep it in this horrible state?
Egg: It's all about timing... I wish to use this power as leverage to get me into the Veteran's Committee.
Shadow: Man, everything's about becoming one of them, isn't it? You know, they're trying to end this show, right?
Egg: Yes, and frankly, I couldn't care less. This show has done nothing but make me look like a fool.
Shadow: What about this serial? You've become an evil dictator! You're one of the most realistic, and yet formidable foes we've faced!
Egg: Hmm... you raise an excellent point. Alright, let's cut the crap. I'll give up my power... for a price.
Shadow: Name it.
Egg: Stop the Veteran's Committee by any means necessary.
Shadow: I'm already working on that.
Egg: ..alright, I've been reluctant to mention this as of yet, but...
Shadow: What is it?
Egg: ......*sigh* ....I want you to destroy Metal.
Shadow: M..Metal Sonic? The Cremator?
Egg: Yes. Compared to him, I'm just a puppet. He's making all the BIG decisions...
Shadow: But.. but he's DEADLY! I'm sure he's invincible!
Egg: He IS deadly, but far from invincible. You see, he has a switch on his back that shuts off his defenses.
Shadow: Wow, why didn't I think of that? Hmm...... I'll do it. Let's shake on it.
Egg: Of course.
[Eggman sets Shadow free; they shake hands]
Shadow: But I'm gonna need my gravity gun.
Egg: Oh, of course!
[Eggman gives Shadow his gravity gun back]
Egg: Do this, and I'll agree to give up all control of the planet.
Shadow: So, where is he?
Egg: I have absolutely no idea.
Shadow: *sigh* Of course.
[Shadow heads out of the room]
[Purflee is there]
PFF: Shadow! He set you free?
Shadow: Yeah. Have you seen The Cremator anywhere?
PFF: Uh.. yeah, I think he's heading up the many elevators, trying to get up here.
Shadow: And where are those?
PFF: In that room, right there.
Shadow: Thanks.
[Shadow heads into the room, and looks down the elevator shaft]
[in the very far distance, he sees Metal heading up the elevators]
Shadow: Hmm... how to do this?
[cut to later on; Metal reaches the top, and sees Shadow standing in front of him]
MS: Ready to die, mofo?
[Metal attacks him, and rips him in half]
[..'cept he's cardboard]
[the REAL Shadow snuck up behind him and flipped the switch on his back]
MS: Eep! **** **** **** ****!
[Shadow grabs Metal with the gravity gun]
MS: This is going to hurt.
[he shoots him at a wall]
[SMASH!]
[Metal's motionless body lies still]
Shadow: Finally... Metal is destroyed.
[Shadow heads back to Eggman's office]
[Eggman is not in the office]
Shadow: Eggman? You there? I've destroyed Metal for ya!
[Shadow looks around and presses some buttons]
[Shade, Future Shade, Cham, Red, and Dark drop in from the ceiling]
Shade: 'Sup?
Shadow: Okay, so I've set you guys free... but where's Eggman?
Dark: Maybe he's down that elevator that's in this room?
Shadow: Maybe.
ChamF: Ugh.. you guys go on ahead. I'm going to find Purflee and.. we're gonna get out of here.
ShadeF: Alright, Cham. You do that. See ya.
[the chao 'cept Cham head down the elevator]
[down the elevator is a room with a giant monitor]
[on the monitor is Metal Sonic]
Shadow: B..but... but...
MS: Shadow. Just as I destroyed a cardboard cut-out of you, you destroyed a fake version of me.
Shadow: Dammit!
MS: As you were busy trying to destroy "me," I went ahead and kidnapped Eggman.
Shadow: You monster!
MS: I think you'll find he is having fun inside the Dark Energy Reactor... hahaha!
[the monitor switches off, and the wall behind it opens up to reveal the top of the Egg Citadel (at sunset)]
[there is a giant machine at the top; in the machine is an orb containing Eggman]
[on the very top of the machine, standing on a lightning rod, is Metal Sonic]
MS: As soon as that orb reaches the top, I will summon lightning to zap him, and he will be fried.
[the chao stand, unimpressed]
MS: That's not all! The lightning will combine with the orb, and create a devastating explosion.
Shadow: Oh, ****.
ShadeF: Kid, you'd better go take care of this.
Shadow: C..can't you guys help?
Shade: C'mon, Shadow. Think of this as your final test.
Shadow: *sigh* Fine...
[Shadow heads down another elevator, and exits out to the open air at the top of the Egg Citadel]
MS: Shadow Raid... as soon as the orb reaches synapse, this chamber will be bathed in deadly radiation.
Shadow: Shutcho mowf!
MS: You will be destroyed in every way possible, and even in some ways thought impossible. Your body will be turned to particles that have not yet been scientifically named. Perhaps, if I have the time, I will name some of them after you.
ShadeF: Don't listen to him, Shadow!
[a pathway opens, leading higher up]
[Shadow runs up]
[Chaos Chaobine soldiers enter the chamber, but are quickly taken care of]
MS: Really, you shouldn't even be attempting this, Shadow. All possibilities point to failure.
[Shadow runs through more platforms and climbs onto a contraption that takes him even higher]
MS: I could have told you that was futile!
ShadeF: Crap, Eggman's begun his ascent!
MS: Oh, I forgot to mention... I will be summoning lightning that is not of this world. It's not even made of plasma.
[the contraption reaches the top; Shadow hops off, and onto a ledge]
[he now has a great view of the top of the spire, and of Metal Sonic]
[energy orbs are scattered around]
[a humongous portal opens up above the Egg Citadel]
ShadeF: ****, the portal's opening...
[two gunships fly out of the portal]
[in the portal, various humongous citadel-like structures can be seen]
Shadow: Oh, boy...
ShadeF: The orbs! Use the orbs, Shadow!
Shadow: Right! Of course!
[Shadow grabs some orbs and fires them at the gunships; they go a-splode]
[Eggman is nearing the top; storm clouds are seen swirling in the portal]
MS: Are you still with us, Shadow Raid? Not for much longer, I think.
Shadow: I don't think I can do this... ah, here goes nothing...
[he shoots one last energy orb]
[it strikes Metal Sonic, and it miraculously hits his "Defenses Off" switch]
MS: Oof!
[Metal loses his balance]
MS: Oh, no... no... NOOOOO!!!
[Metal falls off, and falls off the Egg Citadel entirely]
MS: This is gonna be a long drop. CURSE YOU, SHADOW RAIIIIIID!
[Eggman reaches the top, and with no lightning to strike it, the orb explodes, freeing Eggman]
Egg: Wah! You.. you did it, boy! You did it! YIPPY!
[the window behind Shadow breaks open, and the other four chao jump out to him and celebrate]
Dark: DUDE! DUUUUDE! DUUUUUUUUUUUE!
Red: That was... that was simply...
Dark: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!
Red: I mean, WOW... you're...
Dark: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!
Red: You.. you're... ah, screw it!
Both: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!
Shade: *chuckle* Congratulations, Shadow. You... you passed the final test. You rock.
ShadeF: You prolly deserve my shotgun for pulling off a feat like that.
Shadow: Was I really that good?
Shade: Yeah.
[Eggman reaches the platform]
Egg: Well, mah boi.. that was very impressive.
Shadow: Thank you, Doctor. So.. you're going to stop ruling the world now?
Egg: A deal is a deal. ....well.. okay, here, please take this as thanks for ridding the world of Metal Sonic for good.
[Eggman hands Shadow a green chaos drive]
Shadow: A.. a chaos drive! Thank you! Thank you SOOO much!
Egg: It's no problem at all.
Shade: Well, Shadow, it looks like you're a true badass now.
Shadow: Wow... really?
ShadeF: Don't get cocky or anything; we need to get the hell outta here while we've still got
[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!]
[everything slows to a halt as a HUMONGOUS explosion expands from the portal (and freezes, as well)]
[pause]
[pause]
Echo: ...TIME..... Shadow Raid?
[Shadow looks around, still frozen in time]
Echo: Is it really that... TIME... again?
[Echo walks in on the scene, seeming to drift in through time]
Echo: It feels as if... you've.. only just.. arrrrIIIVED.
[Echo walks over to Shadow and touches him; Shadow is able to move]
Echo: You've done a.. great DEal in a small... TIME...span.
Shadow: Ugh, what, what?
[Echo unfreezes Shade, as well]
Echo: You've done SO well, in fact... that I've been offered some.. INteresting offers for your services.
Shadow: You're gonna take 'em, aren't you?
[Echo unfreezes Dark]
Echo: Ordinarily, I wouldn't contemplate them, but... these are extrAORDInary... TIMES...
[Echo unfreezes Red next]
Echo: Rather than offer you the ilLUSion of free choice, I've taken the liberty of CHOO..SING... FOR..YOU!
All: Oh, COME ON.
Shade: Typical.
[Echo unfreezes Future Shade]
Echo: If... and WHEN... your... TIME... comes 'round... again.
[Echo sorta... well, he "drifts" them to the endless void]
Echo: I must apologize to you for what must seem an.. arbitrary imposition, Shadow Raid.
Shadow: Yeah, no, no, 'salright and everything..... seriously, tell me what the **** is going on!
Echo: I trust it will all make sense to you in the COUrssse of.......
[Echo hesitates for a second]
Echo: Wellll... I'm really NOT..... at liberty to SAY.
[the chao look at each other in confusion]
[Echo begins heading away from them]
Echo: In the MEAN...TIME........ this is where I get off.
[a door of light opens in the void; Echo walks through; it closes]
DARK CHAO ADVENTURES
"Still Waiting for Half-Time"
was written by DJay32
Based on Half-Life 2 by VALVe Corporation
And characters by Sonic Team
..and also some of Left 4 Dead, by VALVe
And some elements of Rock Band, by Harmonix
And some BIG elements of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, by Infinity Ward

DARK CHAO ADVENTURES was written en memorium to my chao, who I raised in Sonic Adventure 2: Battle.
They.. are no longer with us. Not even Shade.


Shadow: ....DAMN.
Shade: What is it, dude?
Shadow: That was one of the most amazing adventures I've ever lived through.
Shade: Heh heh... you bet.
Dark: Hey, we didn't play a song at the end!
Shade: Oh, you're right! We didn't! ****. Whatever! Doesn't matter.
Dark: But.. we played Stairway for the first game!
Shade: Well, yeah, but the first game had a plain-old boss battle. Half-Life 2 had more of a... final scenario.
White: GUYS
Shade: AAHH!
[White appears]
Shade: Oh, Jack! Don't.. don't sneak up on me like that!
White: Ah, it's not "Jack White" anymore. I'm Adrian Ruthford.
Red: Yeah, but... "White" sounds cooler.
White: Ah, screw it, you're right. Fine. I'm either "Adrian," or "White."
ShadeF: Guys?
Shadow: Yeah?
ShadeF: Levity Nite's here.
Nite: Hello, fellows.
Shadow: Whatchu want?
Nite: You have finally obtained your first chaos drive.
Shadow: Yeah, it only took us three days...
ShadeF: Technically, it took us a week and three days.
Shadow: Yes, but technicalities don't matter!
Nite: You have six more to go.
Shadow: Can't we rest for a bit?
Nite: Of course. You'll get to rest when I put you in stasis. For now, any questions you have to ask, I will answer.
Shadow: What happened to Eggman?
Nite: Don't worry. I have placed him in stasis, as well. Anybody who will help get chaos drives will be saved.
Red: Where are we going next?
Nite: We, the Veteran's Committee, have been searching for chaos drives. They are not easy to come by.
Shadow: Yeah, tell me about it.
Nite: We have found a couple of locations where chaos drives have been said to be found.
Shadow: Great, and what are they?
Nite: One of them is the highway that Shade traversed just prior to his Grey Journey.
Shade: Oh, THAT place...
Nite: And the other... well... this is somewhat silly, but.. it's said to be somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean.
Dark: Somewhere in the sea...
Nite: Yes. We wish to find a bit more exact, precise, and perhaps reliable source for that one, though.
ShadeF: So we're going to the highway next?
Nite: Correct. While you are searching for that one, we will look for more clues for this one.
Shadow: Alright, Levity. We'll look for your chaos drives.
Nite: Yes, it is best you do. For now, though.. sleep. We will wake you when it is time.
[Levity Nite leaves the room, putting the chao in stasis]
[as they sleep, Adrian is taken away from the others]
TO BE CONTINUED...