And now, time for a plot twist SO SHOCKING, you will hate me for even thinking of it!
[cut to a black screen]
[the following paragraph appears on-screen]
"Scientists had to work really hard to make the atomic bomb... all those calculations. All those friends cheering them on! All those girls cheering them on, too! YAY, girls! I feel like those scientists right about now. I'm sure that, when this eppy is released to the public, it will drop a HUUUUUUUGE bombshell on people. This is one revealing episode. ..at least I have friends (and girls) who encourage me to... well... okay, nobody encourages me to make this. Not DIRECTLY, anyway. But, they cheer me up... well, the girls do. They always give me something to li-- um... something for which to live. Never end a sentence in a preposition! ..is 'for' a preposition? ...actually, if it is, it should be 'something for WHOM--' no, 'someONE for whom to live.' Yeah. Girls give me someone for whom to live. Maybe I should re-do this paragraph. ......nah. I'll keep rambling. Anyway, those girls... always making me feel happy... making me feel loved... wanted.......... wait, I don't remember them making me feel wante-- OH, YEAH. Man, I suck at this. Guess I haven't worked on DCA for so long... a few months can do a lot to a person. Especially a guy like me, who depends on so much attention... um... I'll wrap this up."
[the paragraph fades out]
[the following appears on-screen]
"Scientists had to work hard with many calculations and grievances to make the atomic bomb... only to end up making a huge sacrifice. I feel a lot like them. This episode will make a huge sacrifice. It will drop a bombshell on people. Including me. Enjoy." -DJay32
[cut to a camera pan of a bridge]
[Eggman's voice-over can be heard talking to someone]
(Note: all VO)
Egg: Shade, do you remember the tanker incident, two years ago?
Shade: Of course.
Egg: Terrorists blow a hole in a marine-owned ship, capsule clears the colony, BAM!
[Eggman clears his throat]
Egg: Sorry. Got carried away. Anyway, tons of crude oil is dumped into the Sea of Manhattan.
Shade: So I heard.
[the camera shows some helicopters flying towards a facility in the middle of the ocean]
Egg: So, the A-Team goes out there and fixes everything. There's now an oil clean-up facility out there. "The Big Shell."
Shade: I hear the clean-up isn't quite done yet.
Egg: It takes time. In the meantime, the Shell has become a national landmark; a symbol of all things nice and clean.
Shade: Hmm... Doctor Kleiner, you didn't call me here just to give me a history lesson. What's going on?
Egg: Well, recently, an unknown unit has seized control of the facility.
Shade: Do you have any ID?
Egg: The military has sent a squadron out there to find out. Word just got back that the unit are calling themselves "Splintered Cell."
Shade: "Splintered Cell...."
[the camera pans, showing a crane shot of Big Shell]
Dark Chao Adventures
Season 7 (AKA Season 6, part two)
Episode Fifty-five
The Game-Maker Must Be Crazy! part two:
"Metal Gear Shade 2: Subsandwich"
[DCA REMASTERED: Bigger scripts! Bigger plots! Bigger bombshells!]
Shade: So, what are their demands?
Egg: Thirty million billion pesos.
Shade: THIRTY MILLION BILLION PESOS?! What makes them think they can get that much?
Egg: One word: Government-Aided Government-Starring Tour For the President.
Shade: Ah, GAGSTFP... hostages, then?
Egg: Yes. One of the hostages is VITAL to the success of the world...
Shade: Name?
Egg: Jimmy James Jimmy-Bob Jack Johnson James John Jeffrey James Jon James Jackson Johnson.
Shade: THE PRESIDENT?!
Egg: Exactly. The terrorists say, if their demands are not met, they will blow the Shell out of the water.
Shade: ARGH... the oil will ignite with the explosives and the boom and the bam and the Manhattan and the city and the owie and the... RAA!
Egg: And that's not even the worst-case scenario. The oil might gather around and flood the harbor.. and stuff.
Shade: An oil spill...
Egg: Yes! The biggest in history, creating one HELLUVA national disaster.
Shade: So, what do I have to do?
Egg: You have two mission objectives. One: Infiltrate the off-shore oil clean-up facility "Big Shell," and rescue the
president.
Shade: Is that all?
Egg: No. Objective two: Disarm the terrorists by any means neccesary. You should know the SEAL-Team 32 is conducting a rescue mission, too.
Shade: Is this a joint effort?
Egg: No. Remain hidden. Do not let anyone know you're in there. Not even me!
Shade: Um... okay.
[the camera shows a chao swimming underwater in a weird scuba suit; it's covering his entire body and face]
[he surfaces at a little hangar/dock place]
Chapter 1: Botanicus Debuticus
[he looks around, and ducks behind a crate]
[BEEP BEEP! (codec is activating)]
Shade: This is Shade... there don't seem to be any sentries anywhere.
Egg: That's a little strange...
Shade: That's not all. The net that would have blocked me from entering was cut open. Seems like somebody else wanted REALLY BADLY to get in here.
Egg: That's impossible!
Shade: What about SEAL-Team 32?
Egg: They landed on the roof of Big Shell, as planned. By the way, we're changing your code name.
Shade: What? What's wrong with "Shade?"
Egg: Just a precaution. You are now "Shadow Raid."
Raid: Hmm... that sounds pretty cool, actually.
Egg: You will be referred to as "Raid," as a code-code name. So, I take it you've already completed the VR Training?
Raid: Levels 1-300. I feel like some kind of nerdy mercenary...
Egg: Alright, we'll skip that part, then. Just contact me on Codec whenever you need to, and look for the elevator.
Raid: Mmkay.
[Raid moves through the weird hangar place, finds the elevator, and rides it up]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Doctor Kleiner, I discovered some unconscious guards down there...
Egg: Impossible! That would mean...
Both: There's someone else in the Shell...
[pause]
Egg: ...I still think it's impossible.
Raid: Hey, um.. Doctor? Can I take my mask off now? It's kinda stuffy in here...
Egg: Go right ahead.
[the camera shows Raid reach for his mask, and pull it off]
[underneath is a green Dark chao; "Raid (Shadow)" appears on-screen]
Egg: Feeling better?
Raid: Yep. ...*hurl* ...okay, NOW I am.
Egg: Heh, not much of a swimmer, are you?
Raid: No. I hear the real Shade was, though...
Egg: Yes... such a shame that not even HIS swimming prowess could save him from that tanker incident...
Raid: Mmm...
[pause]
?: Shadow? Everything okay?
Raid: !!! What are YOU doing on this mission?
?: Shadow, I'm here to make sure you get through this okay...
Raid: But.. but...
Egg: Raid, meet the mission analyst.
Raid: I believe we've already met.... Cream.
[ZOMG LOLWUT ITZ CREAM TEH WABBIT WTFBBQ]
Cream: Shadow...
Egg: Um.. right, then. Glad to hear you two know each other.
Cream: Of course we know each other! Shadow's my best student at the CPAK Day Care Center!
Raid: Creaaaaaamm..... *sigh* (exasperated) I'm your ONLY student.
Cream: But you're still my best!
Raid: Doctor, why did you choose her for this job? She works at a DAY CARE CENTER.
Egg: Well... you GO to one.
Raid: This is true. Okay, okay, whatever.
Cream: Shadow, tell me... do you know what tomorrow is?
Raid: Uh... September 9th, right?
Cream: Right. And what happens on that day?
Raid: Uhhhhhh...... hmmm.... those new Nerf products are released?
Cream: Well, yes, but... what else?
Raid: ....I can't remember. Sorry.
Cream: Oh, that's fine. You'll remember soon.
Chapter 2: Botanicus Honytus
Egg: Cream, I have a request for you.
Cream: Yes, Doctor?
Egg: Shadow has a code name. For the duration of this mission, I would appreciate it if you would refer to him as "Raid."
Cream: *sigh* All right... RAID, good luck out there. Contact me if you ever want to save your game.
Egg: Yes, good luck, Raid.
[Cream leaves the radio conversation]
Egg: Listen to me, Raid... the Big Shell is divided into two cores surrounded by sixteen struts.
Raid: I know, I know-- eight per strut, labelled "Strut A-F," or something.
Egg: ...crap, yeah, it might not be sixteen. My memory fails me, you see...
Raid: Don't worry about it; I know my mission. I'll go now.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[the elevator keeps going up]
Raid: *sigh* Wonder what'll happen no--
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: I forgot some important information!
Raid: Yes?
Egg: The terrorists are calling themselves the "Sons of Libfairy."
Raid: Sons of... Libfairy?
Egg: Libfairy. And their leader is calling himself "Solid Shade."
Raid: The hero of the Dark Garden? ..is it possible that he might have survived?
Egg: Not a chance.
Raid: ...Shade...... the gardens are in a wreck without him. Even Chao...
Egg: What are you mumbling about?
Raid: Oh, nothing... so, where's the president, again?
Egg: He was last reported in Strut B. So... Northwest of your position.
Raid: Got it.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid heads off in that direction]
[across the A-B bridge, he encounters a big military squad (SEAL-Team 32) firing at an enemy]
Raid: Hm?
[they are all firing at the same person-- Honey! That third-party female chao!]
[however, none of the bullets hit her-- even the ones fired directly at her]
[Honey sighs, and fires a giant, humongus SHOOP DA WHOOP cannon at the soldiers; they die]
Honey: Can no one kill me? Can no one end my bad luck? *sigh* I doubt it.
[Honey slowly walks away]
[Raid is just standing there, wide-eyed]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Doctor, who the Honey Smacks was THAT?
Egg: That was Honey.
Raid: ..oh.
Egg: Yeah. Splintered Cell came to her and offered her a job, because her amazing luck impressed them.
Raid: Huh, sure impressed me, too.
Egg: Raid, you may want to hurry.
Raid: Yes, of course.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid enters Strut B, and instantly sees a corridor filled with blood]
Raid: .......guess I missed the party.
[he hears gunfire coming from the next room, which stops, followed by a scream]
[Raid slowly creeps around a corner, and peeks into the doorway]
[he sees a SEAL officer... having his blood sucked out of his neck by a freaky, purple-y Dark chao]
[the chao throws the corpse aside]
?: Five today....
[it looks in Raid's direction]
?: Or perhaps SIX?
Other ?: Get down! *gunfire*
Chapter 3: Botanicus Pliskus Echorinium
[an oddly familiar SEAL officer fires at the Dark chao]
[the Dark chao grabs the officer, and prepares to cut his throat open]
[the SEAL officer eyes Raid, and tilts his head at the chao]
Raid: Huh? ...oh, right!
[Raid shoots the Dark chao; no bullets hit him]
[the Dark chao doesn't even notice, instead, he starts sniffing the SEAL officer]
?: Your smell..... are you...
Officer: What are you talking about?
?: ..no. I will not kill you today. I am needed by Honey.
[the Dark chao flies upwards, and completely disappears]
[Raid steps into the room, and toward the officer]
Officer: I'm not an enemy, you know.
Raid: Then.. who ARE you?
Officer: S... Snake Pliskin. Lieutenant First Grade.
["Snake Pliskin (Officer)" appears on-screen]
Raid: "First?" You mean... uh.. Senior, or Junior, or...
Pliskin: Whatever. ..your suit... are you PROWLER?
Raid: Yes, but--
Pliskin: PROWLER disbanded two years ago.
Raid: Um... well..
Pliskin: Where were you before PROWLER?
Raid: Part of the Army's Force XXXII.
Pliskin: Force XXXII? That's tactical IT deployment, right? Got any field experience?
Raid: Well, um.. no, but--
Pliskin: I see. So, this is your first op...
Raid: I-I've gotten plenty of OTHER experience, though!
Pliskin: Ya don't say. Like what?
Raid: Sneaking Mission 32, and, uh... Weapons 96...
Pliskin: VR training, huh? Great. A virtual grunt from the digital ages.
[Pliskin scans Raid from top to bottom, then holds out his hand]
Pliskin: Welcome to the club, buddy.
Raid: Uhm... *shakes Pliskin's hand* thanks?
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Hang on; I gotta take this.
Pliskin: (under breath) The kid's wired with nanomachines...
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: Raid, any sign of the president?
Raid: No sign at all. However, I hear he's been taken somewhere else...
Egg: What about SEAL-Team 32? Any news from them?
Raid: The entire Alpha squad's down-- no, one survivor.
Egg: One survivor?
Raid: Lieutenant Snake Pliskin.
Cream: "Snake Pliskin?" Are you sure that's his name?
Raid: Uh.. lemme check. Hey, is that your real name, "Snake Pliskin?" ....oh, okay, just checking! He said "Yes."
Egg: Something the matter, Cream?
Cream: Not exactly, but... I'm sure I've heard that name before.
Egg: Alright. We'll run an extensive search on him. For now, just keep on... keeping on, okay, Raid?
Raid: Wilco.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Raid: So, uh.. Pliskin? What the Hildenberg was that thing that was here earlier?
Pliskin: A member of Splintered Cell. I bet your VR training didn't include anything like that, right?
Raid: Well... right. Yes. Uh, so what's the deal with Splintered Cell, anyway?
Pliskin: *sigh* May as well tell you about 'em. Lemme clear some space.
A special forces unit created by Ex-President Sam "Fisher" Sears. The name was originally intended to reflect its stealth unit functions. The unit would launch unannounced assaults on government complexes, for the ultimate MGS-style simulation.
They were needed to show VR troopers like you how to deal with the real thing.But around the time their original leader died in prison, the unit began to unravel. They were always close to the edge, but
they became more and more extreme. Began to go after U.S. allies, even civilians. We estimate that no fewer than a hundred people died on accidents the Splintered Cell arranged on their own. They were out of control -- and it all came to a head six months ago.
Raid: What happened six months ago?
Pliskin: The unit just kinda... fell apart. Only three remain, and you just saw one of 'em.
Chapter 4: Botanicus Developmenticus
Raid: What about their leader? Do you think he's really Solid Shade?
Pliskin: Shade died two years ago...
Raid: You mean the tanker incident that made this facility necessary in the first place?
Pliskin: Yeah. He's a real legend... but, sometimes legends are heroes, while sometimes they're madmen.
Raid: Do you think it's possible he survived, and is pulling another one?
Pliskin: No. His body was found and positive-ID'd two years ago... the real Shade is dead and buried.
Raid: Hm.
[the radio on Pliskin's uniform turns on, and there are calls for backup]
[Pliskin just sits there, and pops a lollipop in his mouth]
Raid: Aren't you gonna answer that?
Pliskin: Meh. You want one?
Raid: A radio?
Pliskin: A lollipop.
Raid: No, thanks. I'm good. I'm just.. gonna go to Strut C, and look around a bit. Wanna come with?
Pliskin: I go my own way. I'm a loner. But, if you ever need info on this place, or stuff like that, call my codec.
Raid: Why do you have a--
Pliskin: My frequency is 141.80. By the way, what's your name?
Raid: The name's Raid.
Pliskin: Raid? Strange codename.
Raid: Better than the one my parents gave me.
[Raid leaves Strut B and moves towards Strut C]
[as he's moving, Cream calls]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Cream: Everything alright, Shadow?
Raid: Yeah, I'm fine. Any news on Pliskin?
Cream: Not yet. His name still seems familiar, though...
Raid: Wait, if there's no news, then why'd you call?
Cream: I just wanted to know if you remember what tomorrow is yet.
Raid: Tomorrow... September 9th........ sorry, I'm drawing a blank.
Cream: Oh, that's fine. Just.. try to finish your mission by tomorrow, okay?
Raid: Okay. I will. Oh, and Cream? I have something else for you to look up.
Cream: Sure, what is it?
Raid: I want you to look up everything about Solid Shade.
Cream: The famous mercenary?
Raid: Yes. Everything past the CPAK incident. He's dead now, and the CIA should have his burial records-- I want those, too.
Cream: Okay, Shadow. I'll look him up for you.
Raid: Thanks, Cream.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[....BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: What now?
Egg: Raid, we have recieved word from the navy that they brought a bomb disposal expert with them.
Raid: Great, how's his mission going?
Egg: Ask him yourself. He's in Strut C.
Raid: What in the name of fudge balls is he doing in there?
Egg: We don't know! Just find out!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid enters Strut C, and finds himself in a kitchen/dining room area]
[inside is an old neutral chao with a cane and a police outfit]
[Raid slowly sneaks behind him, and points his gun at him]
?: Don't shoot.
[Raid continues pointing it at him]
Raid: Are you a cop?
?: I'm not CWPD (Chao World Police Department), but I came with the Bravo team. Who are you, and what happened to the squad?
Raid: They're all dead.
?: All of them? That's bad...
Raid: Did I say you could move?
Pliskin: Sheesh, take a chill pill, kid; he's one of the good guys.
[Pliskin enters the room, and Raid stands down]
Pliskin: Don't go pointing that thing everywhere.
Chapter 5: Botanicus Missionscus Briefium
Pliskin: So, who are you?
?: My name is Shawn, Shawn the Dark.
["Shawn the Dark (Shawn)" appears on-screen]
Pliskin: A lecturer at Harvard... and the CWPD's bomb consultant.
Shawn: I'm just a poor old chao who got dragged into this.
Raid: So you're SEAL's bomb disposal expert?
Pliskin: Kid, this is THE bomb disposal expert! Open any explosives disposal textbook and you'll see his name.
Shawn: Heh, that's all just ancient history now.
Raid: Then why'd you come on this mission?
Shawn: Because one of the terrorists was one of my best students.
Pliskin: That can't be good.
Shawn: The Emperor of Explosives... Fatcham. An explosives genius. He made an atomic bomb when he was ten.
Pliskin: Pfft, I know somebody who made something ten times cooler when he was ten...
Shawn: Really? Who?
Pliskin: DJay.
Shawn: ..ah, yes, right, well... uh.. let's just stick to the script, and stop breaking the Fourth Wall, shall we?
Pliskin: Just sayin'.
Shawn: Okay, and I agree with you. Still, in a way, I created Fatcham...
Raid: And that's why the navy thought you'd be best for this mission?
Shawn: Pretty much. Are you two with SEAL-Team 32? I didn't see you at the mission briefing.
Pliskin: We're... with other squads. I'm Lieutenant Snake Pliskin. *shakes Shawn's hand*
Shawn: You seem rather familiar, Pliskin.......... say, do you have any bomb disposal experience?
Pliskin: Oh, I've had plenty of experience. And this kid looks young, but he can do it.
Shawn: Ah, I see. What's your name, son?
Raid: Raid.
Shawn: Raid? Strange name.
Pliskin: Were there any other survivors?
Shawn: Well, now that you mention it, there was this engineer...
Raid: An engineer?
Shawn: Big Shell is fully computer-operated, you see. His job was to get us past all the security clearances.
Pliskin: Hm. Where is he now?
Shawn: I haven't seen him since that little skirmish...
Pliskin: So, nobody else in your squad is here?
Shawn: Apparently not. And my leg... I lost it in an explosion, so...
Pliskin: So we have to do the dirty work?
Raid: Aw, great.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Aw, great! Sorry, I gotta take this.
Pliskin: Off to consult your CO again?
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: Glad to hear that Shawn's okay.
Raid: Is it true that the Bravo team came in with an engineer?
Egg: We haven't heard anything about that, but they probably planned it. Don't worry. Just help Shawn with the bombs.
Raid: Doctor, you know I have no experience in bomb disposal!
Egg: Relax, Raid. The man you're working with is highly professional, and the top of his league. Just follow his instructions.
Raid: Ugh.... fine.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Shawn: Listen, you two won't be actually dismantling the bombs. That's extremely complicated.
Raid: So, what WILL we do?
Shawn: Simply take this spray *hands them some spray* and freeze the bombs!
Raid: Freeze them?
Shawn: It should freeze them for at least 24 hours.
Pliskin: That's plenty of time for a professional bomb disposal expert to get to them! I see...
Raid: But, how will we know where the bombs are?
Shawn: Here *hands them another complicated gadget*, this gadget will be able to pick up the bombs' scents.
Raid: ...wait.. what?
Shawn: I know Fatcham well. He likes to put his own little signature on his work... a sample of the cologne he uses.
Raid: Ah.
Pliskin: Raid, you take care of the bombs on this end of the facility; I got the other end.
Raid: Got it.
Shawn: I'll just be in this food pantry, here, if you need me. My frequency is 140.15.
[Shawn hides in a food pantry]
Pliskin: You ready for this, kid?
Raid: I guess...
Pliskin: Good. Now, move out!
[Pliskin and Raid go their own seperate ways]
Chapter 5.9: Botanicus WHAT THE FICUS
[Raid's radar/gadget tells him of a bomb in Strut C, in the bathroom; he investigates it]
[he finds a bomb inside a stall; he freezes it]
[he hears footsteps entering the bathroom; he quickly closes and locks the stall he's in]
[he hears the voice of Levity Nite talking to a radio]
Nite: ..uh-huh.... yeah... sure. Yeah. Mmhmm.
[he hears Levity wash his hands unzip some pants and.. use a urinal]
Nite: No, I can talk. I'm just in the bathroom. ..Eeksuu? Oh, it's close. I wouldn't just abandon that thing.
[FLUSHHHH]
Nite: Listen, there's been a slight change of plans. We're still gonna end the Projekt...
[sink, wash hands]
Nite: But, it'll take us a few more episodes than previously planned. So, I pulled some strings...
[sink stops]
Nite: Yeah, no, DJay's fine with the whole thing. After all, he's been awfully... shall we say, tied up.. in work lately.
[he laughs evilly]
Nite: ..*sigh* How can you forget, man? The Projekt...
[he shifts (looks around), and the following is close to a whisper]
Nite: The Projekt is Dark Chao Adventures, remember?
[Levity starts walking away, the following is barely heard]
Nite: I'll just cut to the chase-- to end DCA, we're gonna need this season to go on a bit longer than 8 episodes.
[he completely leaves the room]
[Raid is standing, sweating, wide-eyed, heart beating rapidly]
Raid: ....th..th....they're gonna end DCA?
[fade to black]
TO BE CONTINUED...
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Friggin' FINALLY.
Shade: The Atlantic ocean river place, two years ago. We recieved intelligence that a new type of nuclear weapon was on a tanker (boat) going through New York, into the Atlantic ocean. The whole thing stank, but our noses had been covered in Rock Band (and Facebook) for (far) too long.
[cut to a rainy bridge at night; cars are driving across it]
DJay32 presents...
[you can see a man in a dark raincoat slowly walking across the bridge]
Another new adventure...
[the man grabs a cigarette from his mouth, and tosses it away]
in the world...
[a big boat is seen going under the bridge]
of Dark Chao.
[the man quickly starts running, and jumps off the bridge]
[he lands on the back of the top of the ship, behind some crates]
[however, his raincoat fell off as he jumped, revealing a gray Dark chao (some stilts also fell off)]
["Solid Shade (Shade)" appears on-screen]
[BEEP BEEP!] (this means that Shade is contacting somebody through the nanomachines in his ear, or his Codec)
Shade: This is Shade. Kept ya waiting, huh?
Tails: Yes, you certainly did. So,--
Shade: Wait. Is that... Steely Dan I hear? ...Bodhisattva?
Tails: ..I'm.... listening to it, yes. Anyway, did you land on the right tanker this time?
Shade: Of course I did! I don't make the same mistake three times, Otacon.
Tails: I'm Mister Prower.
Shade: Oh, yeah. Can I just call you, "Otakitsune?"
Tails: How about, "Otakit?"
Shade: Okay, Otakit. But, yeah, I landed on the right tanker. So, what's my mission, again? I forget easily.
Tails: *sigh* We recieved an anonymous tip that a new type of nuke was being transferred on that ship.
Shade: Well, I didn't see anything when I was jumping on.
Tails: That's because, according to my calculations, it should be down in the cargo holds.
Shade: Ah. So, can I just knock on the door and ask them to let me in?
Tails: What do YOU think?
Shade: ....okay. Sorry.
Tails: You should be able to get in just by walking, though.
Shade: And then what? Destroy it?
Tails: NO! That ship is being run by the Marine Corps, Shade. You can't just destroy it.
Shade: Then what SHOULD I do?
Tails: You just need to get visual confirmation of the existance of this nuclear weapon.
Shade: So, I need to take a picture of it?
Tails: Exactly.
Shade: But, wait. Everyone knows the Marine has nukes. What's so special about THIS one?
Tails: Oh, EVERYTHING'S special about this one. Just go get it.
Shade: Copy that.
[SHEEEOOSH!] (this means that the call is over)
[Shade gets up from behind the crates, and starts moving towards one of the doors into the ship]
Little does Shade know, there's more to this mission than meets the eye.
[Shade enters the boat, and hears a thud]
In fact, it would seem that nothing is what it seems. Literally. Except Shade, and Tails.
[he looks outside, and sees some people hijacking the boat]
Let me just put it this way: if you've never played this game, you're missing out. But, I'll fill you in, today on...
DARK CHAO ADVENTURES
Season 7 (or, Season 6, part two)
Episode Fifty-four (Halfway through the season already? Aww, we were just getting started!)
The Game Maker Must Be Crazy part one:
"Metal Gear Shade 2: Sons of Libfairies"
[cut to Shade sitting in a red chair in front of the camera]
Shade: 'Sup? I'm Shade. Or, rather, *puts on bandanna* I'm Solid Shade. Let me give you the scoop.
[clip of Solid Shade infiltrating CPAK, turned into a missle silo]
Shade: 'Bout midway through my Gray Journey, the Beta Avengers turned our pre-school into a nuclear missle silo.
[clip of Shade killing some guards]
Shade: So, naturally, I went in there and got it back, with the help of my awesome radio squad.
[clip of Shade talking on the Codec to Eggman]
Shade: You'll meet them later. I also saved Tails. For now, here's me a few days ago.
[clip of Shade playing Rock Band]
Shade: You see, I was chilling with my buds when Mister Prower came up to me and said,
Tails: We've got a new mission for you, Solid Shade.
Shade: Naturally, I was curious. So, he told me,
Tails: I recieved an anonymous tip that a Tanker is going across the Atlantic. Not just any Tanker, though...
[camera pan of the tanker]
Tails: This tanker has a nuclear warhead inside.
Shade: So, I agreed to it, put on my headband, and went to the Hudson River. But, of course, it's still too fishy.
[the camera cuts back to Shade in the chair]
Shade: I mean, nukes are EVERYWHERE. Why am I being sent for just one? I'm keeping my guard up.
Director: CUT! Okay, that's a wrap. Good work, Shade.
Shade: I'm getting paid for this, right?
Director: Uh.... yeah, sure. Quartz, pay the man.
Qz: Aww.
[fade out]
[DCA: Remastered. Because you know you want original scripts, more chapters, and just plain more comedy.]
Our story resumes on the tanker as Solid Shade is sneaking around the tanker, and getting used to the controls.
...of walking.
Chapter 1: Russian Roullette
Shade: This is a big tanker. I wonder who those people who hijacked the boat are, though...
[Shade goes around a corner, and encounters an enemy soldier]
Soldier: Bah!
[Shade shoots him; he dies]
[Shade then calls Tails, BEEP BEEP!]
Tails: Yep?
Shade: They're Russians.
Tails: Russians?
Shade: Russians.
Tails: Okay. What about Russians?
Shade: They're hijacked the boat.
Tails: WHAT?! This changes everything!
Shade: Why? How does this change everything?
Tails: Shade, if these Russians take full control of the ship, they'll get the nuke!
Shade: ...and?
Tails: *sigh* Just keep going. You need to get to the control room, which should be at the top of the ship.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Shade heads up some stairs]
[he's about to walk around a corner when..]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Tails: Careful, Shade!
Shade: I see them. Semtex (mines) on the walls.
Tails: There are lasers across the hall. Trip them, and--
Shade: --the Semtex will go off, along with the rest of the ship.
Tails: Right. The lasers are invisible to the naked eye, but you could use the USUAL method of seeing them.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Shade: ..."usual" method? WHAT usual method? ARGH! I hate it when people are vague.
[Shade shoots in all directions; one bullet hits a fire extinguisher, which causes the weird white stuff to pour out]
Shade: Oops.
[the stuff reveals lasers]
Shade: Oh, THAT "usual" method.
[a soldier heard the noise, and came to check the situation]
Soldier: AH! Intruder!
[the soldier pulls out his radio]
Soldier: There's an intruder on level--
[Shade shoots him; he dies]
Radio: *static* On level what? Level WHAT?!
Shade: ....uh... level 1.
Radio: Oh. Thanks. We'll send a squad there instantly. *radio off*
Shade: Heh. Suckers.
[Shade realizes HE'S on level 1]
Shade: .....whoops.
[the squad gets there instantly]
Soldier1: So, where's that intruder?
Shade: Um... he's in here.
Soldier2: Thanks. C'mon, let's go!
[the squad runs into the next room]
Soldier1: Hey, what's the deal? Nobody's in here!
Soldier3: Yeah! And there's only that one door.
[Shade walks in; budda budda budda; Shade walks out, covered in blood]
Shade: That takes care of THAT.
[Shade keeps going upstairs]
[eventually, he reaches the control room]
Shade: Now, where's this tanker headed?
[he looks at a computer]
Shade: Hmm... that's not right.
[he sees someone walking around out on the deck; he sneaks out to see what's going on]
Chapter 2: Viva la Revolution!
[it's a soldier talking on a radio]
Soldier: But, father, you MUST let me stay! I want to fight!
Radio: No, Shade! This mission is too much for you. You must go home.
Shade?: C'mon! I want to kill some people! I was born to kill.
Radio: "No" means "NO!" I'm sending a chopper for you. Over and out.
[Shade? tosses the radio overboard]
[a helicopter flies by; Shade? waves at it to go away; it flies away]
Shade: Nice name. It happens to be mine.
Shade?: What? Oh, Shade, it's you.
[Shade? takes off his/her cap, revealing the female Shade (also referred to as She-Shade)]
SShade: It's good to see a friendly face amidst all this craziness.
Shade: Who were you-- I mean, TO WHOM were you talking?
SShade: My father. He just happens to be the squad leader in this invasion of ours.
Shade: You mean... your father's the reason the Russians are invading this ship?
SShade: We're not invading it for the reasons you think, Shade.
Shade: Then for WHAT reason ARE you invading?
SShade: I.... I am not at liberty to say.
Shade: What do you mean? For whom are you working?
SShade: I told you; my father is in charge of this invasion.
Shade: But that's not my question. For whom are you working?
SShade: I..I..... no, I can't tell you.
Shade: Yes, you CAN! Tell me!
SShade: Enough! If you won't stop asking, I won't stop shooting!
[the screen flashes white; cut to Shade and SShade fighting with exciting music in the background]
[SShade shoots at him, then dives behind cover]
SShade: (while reloading) This invasion is not against the Marines, Shade. It is for the nuke.
Shade: What do you mean? The Russians already have TONS of nukes!
SShade: He hasn't told you, has he? That infernal teacher of yours. (finishes reloading) Ah, here we go. Eat lead!
[SShade resumes shooting]
Shade: Fine. If you don't want to tell me...
[Shade shoots the gun out of SShade's hands]
Shade: ...you don't have to. I'll just have to shoot you off the ship. No hard feelings.
[Shade shoots her; she falls off the ship]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Otakit. Tell me more about this mission.
Tails: *sigh* Fine. I suppose you deserve to know. The nuke after which you are going is not just ANY nuke...
Shade: ...no way.
Tails: Indeed. It is Metal Gear. But, not just ANY Metal Gear. The newest model: Metal Gear Eeksuu.
Shade: Metal Gear X?
Tails: Yes. Designed to swipe the floor with the other models.
Shade: So, I have to destroy it?
Tails: Not at all. You simply have to obtain photographic evidence that such a model exists.
Shade: ..I have to take pictures of it?
Tails: Precisely. This way, we can prove to the world that the Marines are making a brand new--
[whirrrrr]
Tails: Um... what's that noise?
Shade: !!! Cypher.
Tails: A Cypher?
Shade: Yeah. First the Marines, then the Russians, then SShade's father, now the Army?
Tails: What is going on here? ...Shade, where is that ship headed?
Shade: Uh.. after checking, I've found that it's going to the middle of the ocean.
Tails: The middle of the.... of course. Metal Gear Eeksuu is done, and they just have to test
it. I should have known!
Shade: Wait, WHAT?
Tails: Metal Gear Eeksuu is rumoured to be an amphibious model. One much more agile that its earlier models.
Shade: *sigh* This won't end well.
Tails: Shade, according to my calculations, Metal Gear should be in the holds beneath the ship. Go now!
Shade: Copy that.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Shade heads down to the holds]
Chapter 3: Seven Minutes
[Shade is beneath the ship, looking for the right entrance to the holds]
[he finds it, but some soldiers exit the door, and spot him]
Soldier: *gasp* Get the intruder!
[after a short fight, Shade enters the door]
[a few seconds pass; another soldier goes up to the door, and accesses his radio]
Soldier: Sir, he's gone in.
Radio: (a familiar voice) Excellent. I see that things are proceeding as planned...
Soldier: Um... sir, what, exactly, should I do now?
Radio: Wait a second. I'm right next to you.
Soldier: What are you doing down here, Lev--
[BANG! The camera shows nothing but the soldier falling to the ground, bullet through his head, as a cloaked figure locks the door]
?: That's right, Shade. You're nearly done. Heh heh heh..... ha ha ha ha ha.... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
[cut to Shade on a catwalk above a giant group of at least a hundred soldiers, watching a large screen in front of them]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Yo, Otakit. What's up with Boring Morgan Freeman Monologues TV up there?
Tails: The Marine commander is giving a speech two holds away from you. He's keeping the Marines occupied.
Shade: Ah. So, how long is this speech?
Tails: I hacked into the files, and took a look. It should take approximately seven minutes. Maybe longer, if he tells jokes.
Shade: I see. I guess I'd better get a move on.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Shade quietly sneaks ahead, and is careful not to draw any attention to himself]
[the marines are too busy watching the screen to really care, though]
[after a while, he makes it to a vent, and crawls under the marines... and... stuff]
[he makes it through a bunch of rooms filled with the marines and whatnot]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Yo, Otakit?
Tails: Yes?
Shade: Is... DJay getting bored, or something?
Tails: I hope not, 'cause this gam--MISSION has barely even started!
[a large GROAAAAAAN is heard in the background]
[pause]
["Sorry, sorry, I'll get back to typing..."]
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Shade leaves a vent, and stretches his legs for a bit]
Shade: Ugh, it's so boring with Boring Morgan Freeman Monologues TV up there! I'm gonna freaking fall asleep at this rate!
[Shade spots a projector that is displaying the speech]
Shade: Hmmm....
[cut to the marines, focusing on the TV, listening to every word of the speech]
[suddenly, the screen switches to "David Bowie, LIVE IN CONCERT!"]
[the marines start cheering]
Shade: That's MUCH better!
[instead of sneaking past the focused marines, Shade dances past the rave party]
[eventually, he's made it to the main room]
[the camera dramatically pans, showing Metal Gear Eeksuu, and the marine commander standing in front of it, giving the speech to a roomful of marines]
[Shade carefully and quietly sneaks past the marines, and is approaching a nice hiding place...]
[BEEP BEEP!]
[everyone looks at Shade]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Uh.... heh heh.....
[BEEP BEEP!]
[the marines are still staring at him]
Shade: Um...
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: I.. I gotta take this.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Otakit, what is it?! This had better be important!
Tails: Remember, Shade, you have to get photographic evidence of Met--
Shade: Otakit, everyone is staring at me!
Tails: Well... I was just reminding you.
Shade: I KNOW WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[everyone's still staring at him]
Shade: Um.... sorry about that, everyone!
Chapter 4: Shade Dies in This Chapter
[someone is slowly clapping]
[everyone turns to look at the new person]
[it is a cloaked man]
Shade: Man, if we didn't already have enough of those...
[the man is up on stage, in front of Metal Gear, next to the commander]
Man: Bravo, bravo... this is one impressive military.
Commander: The best in the nation! Who are you?
Man: I am Levity Nite... and I have come to take Eeksuu back.
[a bunch of Russian soldiers drop down on SWAT-team-esque wires, and surround everyone]
[also, a chao enters the room, wearing a big Russian coat... and stuff]
[he's SShade's father]
Nite: Sham, how nice of you to come!
Shade: ......"Sham?"
[so I couldn't think of a good name, so what?]
Sham: Ah, I wouldn't miss the taking back of Eeksuu for the world! Mother Russia will rise again!
Commander: Now, who the hell are YOU?
Sham: I am Sham, leader of the Russian army, chao division! I was born in a log cabin in 1938, and abducted by you Americans during the Cold War! I was forced to fight, forced to shoot, lived to win, and bred to murder. Eventually, I escaped the American prison and returned home, only to find my parents dead.
Commander: I see. Is there a point to this sad story?
Sham: The point is, while I was in the prison, I heard tale of the American scumbags plotting to steal our technology!
[Sham points at Metal Gear]
Sham: Eeksuu is our own, original invention, and you stole it from us! So now Levity Nite and I are going to take it back!
Nite: I'm sorry to say this, Sham, but I have no intention of giving Eeksuu to Russia.
Sham: Wh..WHAT?! Are you betraying Mother Russia?
Nite: I am not loyal to that country anymore, Sham. I'm taking Metal Gear back... to the Patriots.
Commander: The La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo?!
Nite: Yes... I think you'll find the Patriots would be more than happy to have Eeksuu back.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Um! Crap! Uh... just continue on with your discussion, everyone! I gotta take this!
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Otakit, what is it now?
Tails: Shade, I'm pretty sure Levity Nite is supposed to, uh... do something right about now.
Shade: What, take Eeksuu back?
Tails: No, his arm is supposed to......... ah, it doesn't matter.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Shade: Sorry about that. Carry on.
Nite: ....yes, well, um... I'm taking it back now. Okay? You can't stop me.
Sham: ............I'm sorry, what? I'm really senile...
Nite: *groan* WAKE UP, DJAY!
[WHOA, what, where, who, why, what? I'm awake! I'm awake!]
Sham: Levity, you can't do this! I'll have to stop you!
Nite: I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Star Fox. ...erm, Sham.
[Levity shoots Sham; Sham dies]
[he then jumps up really high, and enters Eeksuu's cockpit]
Nite: Farewell, knuckleheads! ...everyone!
[Levity controls Metal Gear, and makes it jump through the ceiling]
[the tanker shakes and crashes, and floods with water]
Shade: OH SHIZZLE!
[Shade tries to swim away]
[he sees everybody drowning around him, and continues desperately trying not to die]
[the surface is still so far away!]
Shade: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!!
[the screen fades to black]
Tails: Shade? SHADE?! SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE?!
TO BE... CONTINUED....
[cut to a rainy bridge at night; cars are driving across it]
DJay32 presents...
[you can see a man in a dark raincoat slowly walking across the bridge]
Another new adventure...
[the man grabs a cigarette from his mouth, and tosses it away]
in the world...
[a big boat is seen going under the bridge]
of Dark Chao.
[the man quickly starts running, and jumps off the bridge]
[he lands on the back of the top of the ship, behind some crates]
[however, his raincoat fell off as he jumped, revealing a gray Dark chao (some stilts also fell off)]
["Solid Shade (Shade)" appears on-screen]
[BEEP BEEP!] (this means that Shade is contacting somebody through the nanomachines in his ear, or his Codec)
Shade: This is Shade. Kept ya waiting, huh?
Tails: Yes, you certainly did. So,--
Shade: Wait. Is that... Steely Dan I hear? ...Bodhisattva?
Tails: ..I'm.... listening to it, yes. Anyway, did you land on the right tanker this time?
Shade: Of course I did! I don't make the same mistake three times, Otacon.
Tails: I'm Mister Prower.
Shade: Oh, yeah. Can I just call you, "Otakitsune?"
Tails: How about, "Otakit?"
Shade: Okay, Otakit. But, yeah, I landed on the right tanker. So, what's my mission, again? I forget easily.
Tails: *sigh* We recieved an anonymous tip that a new type of nuke was being transferred on that ship.
Shade: Well, I didn't see anything when I was jumping on.
Tails: That's because, according to my calculations, it should be down in the cargo holds.
Shade: Ah. So, can I just knock on the door and ask them to let me in?
Tails: What do YOU think?
Shade: ....okay. Sorry.
Tails: You should be able to get in just by walking, though.
Shade: And then what? Destroy it?
Tails: NO! That ship is being run by the Marine Corps, Shade. You can't just destroy it.
Shade: Then what SHOULD I do?
Tails: You just need to get visual confirmation of the existance of this nuclear weapon.
Shade: So, I need to take a picture of it?
Tails: Exactly.
Shade: But, wait. Everyone knows the Marine has nukes. What's so special about THIS one?
Tails: Oh, EVERYTHING'S special about this one. Just go get it.
Shade: Copy that.
[SHEEEOOSH!] (this means that the call is over)
[Shade gets up from behind the crates, and starts moving towards one of the doors into the ship]
Little does Shade know, there's more to this mission than meets the eye.
[Shade enters the boat, and hears a thud]
In fact, it would seem that nothing is what it seems. Literally. Except Shade, and Tails.
[he looks outside, and sees some people hijacking the boat]
Let me just put it this way: if you've never played this game, you're missing out. But, I'll fill you in, today on...
DARK CHAO ADVENTURES
Season 7 (or, Season 6, part two)
Episode Fifty-four (Halfway through the season already? Aww, we were just getting started!)
The Game Maker Must Be Crazy part one:
"Metal Gear Shade 2: Sons of Libfairies"
[cut to Shade sitting in a red chair in front of the camera]
Shade: 'Sup? I'm Shade. Or, rather, *puts on bandanna* I'm Solid Shade. Let me give you the scoop.
[clip of Solid Shade infiltrating CPAK, turned into a missle silo]
Shade: 'Bout midway through my Gray Journey, the Beta Avengers turned our pre-school into a nuclear missle silo.
[clip of Shade killing some guards]
Shade: So, naturally, I went in there and got it back, with the help of my awesome radio squad.
[clip of Shade talking on the Codec to Eggman]
Shade: You'll meet them later. I also saved Tails. For now, here's me a few days ago.
[clip of Shade playing Rock Band]
Shade: You see, I was chilling with my buds when Mister Prower came up to me and said,
Tails: We've got a new mission for you, Solid Shade.
Shade: Naturally, I was curious. So, he told me,
Tails: I recieved an anonymous tip that a Tanker is going across the Atlantic. Not just any Tanker, though...
[camera pan of the tanker]
Tails: This tanker has a nuclear warhead inside.
Shade: So, I agreed to it, put on my headband, and went to the Hudson River. But, of course, it's still too fishy.
[the camera cuts back to Shade in the chair]
Shade: I mean, nukes are EVERYWHERE. Why am I being sent for just one? I'm keeping my guard up.
Director: CUT! Okay, that's a wrap. Good work, Shade.
Shade: I'm getting paid for this, right?
Director: Uh.... yeah, sure. Quartz, pay the man.
Qz: Aww.
[fade out]
[DCA: Remastered. Because you know you want original scripts, more chapters, and just plain more comedy.]
Our story resumes on the tanker as Solid Shade is sneaking around the tanker, and getting used to the controls.
...of walking.
Chapter 1: Russian Roullette
Shade: This is a big tanker. I wonder who those people who hijacked the boat are, though...
[Shade goes around a corner, and encounters an enemy soldier]
Soldier: Bah!
[Shade shoots him; he dies]
[Shade then calls Tails, BEEP BEEP!]
Tails: Yep?
Shade: They're Russians.
Tails: Russians?
Shade: Russians.
Tails: Okay. What about Russians?
Shade: They're hijacked the boat.
Tails: WHAT?! This changes everything!
Shade: Why? How does this change everything?
Tails: Shade, if these Russians take full control of the ship, they'll get the nuke!
Shade: ...and?
Tails: *sigh* Just keep going. You need to get to the control room, which should be at the top of the ship.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Shade heads up some stairs]
[he's about to walk around a corner when..]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Tails: Careful, Shade!
Shade: I see them. Semtex (mines) on the walls.
Tails: There are lasers across the hall. Trip them, and--
Shade: --the Semtex will go off, along with the rest of the ship.
Tails: Right. The lasers are invisible to the naked eye, but you could use the USUAL method of seeing them.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Shade: ..."usual" method? WHAT usual method? ARGH! I hate it when people are vague.
[Shade shoots in all directions; one bullet hits a fire extinguisher, which causes the weird white stuff to pour out]
Shade: Oops.
[the stuff reveals lasers]
Shade: Oh, THAT "usual" method.
[a soldier heard the noise, and came to check the situation]
Soldier: AH! Intruder!
[the soldier pulls out his radio]
Soldier: There's an intruder on level--
[Shade shoots him; he dies]
Radio: *static* On level what? Level WHAT?!
Shade: ....uh... level 1.
Radio: Oh. Thanks. We'll send a squad there instantly. *radio off*
Shade: Heh. Suckers.
[Shade realizes HE'S on level 1]
Shade: .....whoops.
[the squad gets there instantly]
Soldier1: So, where's that intruder?
Shade: Um... he's in here.
Soldier2: Thanks. C'mon, let's go!
[the squad runs into the next room]
Soldier1: Hey, what's the deal? Nobody's in here!
Soldier3: Yeah! And there's only that one door.
[Shade walks in; budda budda budda; Shade walks out, covered in blood]
Shade: That takes care of THAT.
[Shade keeps going upstairs]
[eventually, he reaches the control room]
Shade: Now, where's this tanker headed?
[he looks at a computer]
Shade: Hmm... that's not right.
[he sees someone walking around out on the deck; he sneaks out to see what's going on]
Chapter 2: Viva la Revolution!
[it's a soldier talking on a radio]
Soldier: But, father, you MUST let me stay! I want to fight!
Radio: No, Shade! This mission is too much for you. You must go home.
Shade?: C'mon! I want to kill some people! I was born to kill.
Radio: "No" means "NO!" I'm sending a chopper for you. Over and out.
[Shade? tosses the radio overboard]
[a helicopter flies by; Shade? waves at it to go away; it flies away]
Shade: Nice name. It happens to be mine.
Shade?: What? Oh, Shade, it's you.
[Shade? takes off his/her cap, revealing the female Shade (also referred to as She-Shade)]
SShade: It's good to see a friendly face amidst all this craziness.
Shade: Who were you-- I mean, TO WHOM were you talking?
SShade: My father. He just happens to be the squad leader in this invasion of ours.
Shade: You mean... your father's the reason the Russians are invading this ship?
SShade: We're not invading it for the reasons you think, Shade.
Shade: Then for WHAT reason ARE you invading?
SShade: I.... I am not at liberty to say.
Shade: What do you mean? For whom are you working?
SShade: I told you; my father is in charge of this invasion.
Shade: But that's not my question. For whom are you working?
SShade: I..I..... no, I can't tell you.
Shade: Yes, you CAN! Tell me!
SShade: Enough! If you won't stop asking, I won't stop shooting!
[the screen flashes white; cut to Shade and SShade fighting with exciting music in the background]
[SShade shoots at him, then dives behind cover]
SShade: (while reloading) This invasion is not against the Marines, Shade. It is for the nuke.
Shade: What do you mean? The Russians already have TONS of nukes!
SShade: He hasn't told you, has he? That infernal teacher of yours. (finishes reloading) Ah, here we go. Eat lead!
[SShade resumes shooting]
Shade: Fine. If you don't want to tell me...
[Shade shoots the gun out of SShade's hands]
Shade: ...you don't have to. I'll just have to shoot you off the ship. No hard feelings.
[Shade shoots her; she falls off the ship]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Otakit. Tell me more about this mission.
Tails: *sigh* Fine. I suppose you deserve to know. The nuke after which you are going is not just ANY nuke...
Shade: ...no way.
Tails: Indeed. It is Metal Gear. But, not just ANY Metal Gear. The newest model: Metal Gear Eeksuu.
Shade: Metal Gear X?
Tails: Yes. Designed to swipe the floor with the other models.
Shade: So, I have to destroy it?
Tails: Not at all. You simply have to obtain photographic evidence that such a model exists.
Shade: ..I have to take pictures of it?
Tails: Precisely. This way, we can prove to the world that the Marines are making a brand new--
[whirrrrr]
Tails: Um... what's that noise?
Shade: !!! Cypher.
Tails: A Cypher?
Shade: Yeah. First the Marines, then the Russians, then SShade's father, now the Army?
Tails: What is going on here? ...Shade, where is that ship headed?
Shade: Uh.. after checking, I've found that it's going to the middle of the ocean.
Tails: The middle of the.... of course. Metal Gear Eeksuu is done, and they just have to test
it. I should have known!
Shade: Wait, WHAT?
Tails: Metal Gear Eeksuu is rumoured to be an amphibious model. One much more agile that its earlier models.
Shade: *sigh* This won't end well.
Tails: Shade, according to my calculations, Metal Gear should be in the holds beneath the ship. Go now!
Shade: Copy that.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Shade heads down to the holds]
Chapter 3: Seven Minutes
[Shade is beneath the ship, looking for the right entrance to the holds]
[he finds it, but some soldiers exit the door, and spot him]
Soldier: *gasp* Get the intruder!
[after a short fight, Shade enters the door]
[a few seconds pass; another soldier goes up to the door, and accesses his radio]
Soldier: Sir, he's gone in.
Radio: (a familiar voice) Excellent. I see that things are proceeding as planned...
Soldier: Um... sir, what, exactly, should I do now?
Radio: Wait a second. I'm right next to you.
Soldier: What are you doing down here, Lev--
[BANG! The camera shows nothing but the soldier falling to the ground, bullet through his head, as a cloaked figure locks the door]
?: That's right, Shade. You're nearly done. Heh heh heh..... ha ha ha ha ha.... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
[cut to Shade on a catwalk above a giant group of at least a hundred soldiers, watching a large screen in front of them]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Yo, Otakit. What's up with Boring Morgan Freeman Monologues TV up there?
Tails: The Marine commander is giving a speech two holds away from you. He's keeping the Marines occupied.
Shade: Ah. So, how long is this speech?
Tails: I hacked into the files, and took a look. It should take approximately seven minutes. Maybe longer, if he tells jokes.
Shade: I see. I guess I'd better get a move on.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Shade quietly sneaks ahead, and is careful not to draw any attention to himself]
[the marines are too busy watching the screen to really care, though]
[after a while, he makes it to a vent, and crawls under the marines... and... stuff]
[he makes it through a bunch of rooms filled with the marines and whatnot]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Yo, Otakit?
Tails: Yes?
Shade: Is... DJay getting bored, or something?
Tails: I hope not, 'cause this gam--MISSION has barely even started!
[a large GROAAAAAAN is heard in the background]
[pause]
["Sorry, sorry, I'll get back to typing..."]
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Shade leaves a vent, and stretches his legs for a bit]
Shade: Ugh, it's so boring with Boring Morgan Freeman Monologues TV up there! I'm gonna freaking fall asleep at this rate!
[Shade spots a projector that is displaying the speech]
Shade: Hmmm....
[cut to the marines, focusing on the TV, listening to every word of the speech]
[suddenly, the screen switches to "David Bowie, LIVE IN CONCERT!"]
[the marines start cheering]
Shade: That's MUCH better!
[instead of sneaking past the focused marines, Shade dances past the rave party]
[eventually, he's made it to the main room]
[the camera dramatically pans, showing Metal Gear Eeksuu, and the marine commander standing in front of it, giving the speech to a roomful of marines]
[Shade carefully and quietly sneaks past the marines, and is approaching a nice hiding place...]
[BEEP BEEP!]
[everyone looks at Shade]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Uh.... heh heh.....
[BEEP BEEP!]
[the marines are still staring at him]
Shade: Um...
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: I.. I gotta take this.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Otakit, what is it?! This had better be important!
Tails: Remember, Shade, you have to get photographic evidence of Met--
Shade: Otakit, everyone is staring at me!
Tails: Well... I was just reminding you.
Shade: I KNOW WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[everyone's still staring at him]
Shade: Um.... sorry about that, everyone!
Chapter 4: Shade Dies in This Chapter
[someone is slowly clapping]
[everyone turns to look at the new person]
[it is a cloaked man]
Shade: Man, if we didn't already have enough of those...
[the man is up on stage, in front of Metal Gear, next to the commander]
Man: Bravo, bravo... this is one impressive military.
Commander: The best in the nation! Who are you?
Man: I am Levity Nite... and I have come to take Eeksuu back.
[a bunch of Russian soldiers drop down on SWAT-team-esque wires, and surround everyone]
[also, a chao enters the room, wearing a big Russian coat... and stuff]
[he's SShade's father]
Nite: Sham, how nice of you to come!
Shade: ......"Sham?"
[so I couldn't think of a good name, so what?]
Sham: Ah, I wouldn't miss the taking back of Eeksuu for the world! Mother Russia will rise again!
Commander: Now, who the hell are YOU?
Sham: I am Sham, leader of the Russian army, chao division! I was born in a log cabin in 1938, and abducted by you Americans during the Cold War! I was forced to fight, forced to shoot, lived to win, and bred to murder. Eventually, I escaped the American prison and returned home, only to find my parents dead.
Commander: I see. Is there a point to this sad story?
Sham: The point is, while I was in the prison, I heard tale of the American scumbags plotting to steal our technology!
[Sham points at Metal Gear]
Sham: Eeksuu is our own, original invention, and you stole it from us! So now Levity Nite and I are going to take it back!
Nite: I'm sorry to say this, Sham, but I have no intention of giving Eeksuu to Russia.
Sham: Wh..WHAT?! Are you betraying Mother Russia?
Nite: I am not loyal to that country anymore, Sham. I'm taking Metal Gear back... to the Patriots.
Commander: The La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo?!
Nite: Yes... I think you'll find the Patriots would be more than happy to have Eeksuu back.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Um! Crap! Uh... just continue on with your discussion, everyone! I gotta take this!
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shade: Otakit, what is it now?
Tails: Shade, I'm pretty sure Levity Nite is supposed to, uh... do something right about now.
Shade: What, take Eeksuu back?
Tails: No, his arm is supposed to......... ah, it doesn't matter.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Shade: Sorry about that. Carry on.
Nite: ....yes, well, um... I'm taking it back now. Okay? You can't stop me.
Sham: ............I'm sorry, what? I'm really senile...
Nite: *groan* WAKE UP, DJAY!
[WHOA, what, where, who, why, what? I'm awake! I'm awake!]
Sham: Levity, you can't do this! I'll have to stop you!
Nite: I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Star Fox. ...erm, Sham.
[Levity shoots Sham; Sham dies]
[he then jumps up really high, and enters Eeksuu's cockpit]
Nite: Farewell, knuckleheads! ...everyone!
[Levity controls Metal Gear, and makes it jump through the ceiling]
[the tanker shakes and crashes, and floods with water]
Shade: OH SHIZZLE!
[Shade tries to swim away]
[he sees everybody drowning around him, and continues desperately trying not to die]
[the surface is still so far away!]
Shade: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!!
[the screen fades to black]
Tails: Shade? SHADE?! SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE?!
TO BE... CONTINUED....
Excuses, excuses, excuses.
Yeah, uh... that last entry? With the 9/8/09 thing? That, uh... it was simply telling you the date on which the second TMEWT will take place. It wasn't even close to done by then; it simply takes place on the 8th.
(sigh) Maybe I should can the whole TMEWT 2 idea, and just release 704? I mean, 705'll be finished eventually.
...yeah, I think I'll do that. No more TMEWT #2! No, you guys are still gonna have to wait for a sequel to "The Loneliness Does Not Make Me GLaD." So, uh... okay.
(sigh) Maybe I should can the whole TMEWT 2 idea, and just release 704? I mean, 705'll be finished eventually.
...yeah, I think I'll do that. No more TMEWT #2! No, you guys are still gonna have to wait for a sequel to "The Loneliness Does Not Make Me GLaD." So, uh... okay.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Yep, well... uh...
9/8/09
or 8/9/09 for Europeans (like me, technically. :P)
SEPTEMBER EIGHTH TWO-THOUSAND NINE
or 8/9/09 for Europeans (like me, technically. :P)
SEPTEMBER EIGHTH TWO-THOUSAND NINE
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Like I said, pretty soon!
Okay, scratch the previous entry. :P
NOW, DCA returns pretty soon! xD A preview of the upcoming TMEWT:
Tails: Shade? Shade?! SHAAAAAADE?!
NOW, DCA returns pretty soon! xD A preview of the upcoming TMEWT:
Tails: Shade? Shade?! SHAAAAAADE?!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
DCA Returns... Soon.
BRRRRRREAKING NEWS!
Dark Chao Adventures, that silly old script series about the A-Life guys nobody remembers, is RETURNING! That's right! Not right now, but soon!
DCA makes a comeback, pretty soon.
Dark Chao Adventures, that silly old script series about the A-Life guys nobody remembers, is RETURNING! That's right! Not right now, but soon!
DCA makes a comeback, pretty soon.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
DCWhatnow? (also, Shade-on conclusion)
Man, I haven't done anything DCA-related since DCA09.... freaking Facebook.
Sorry about that, guys. ...well, if you read this blog, then, sorry. Anway, I've got SOMETHING for you. The conclusion to Professor Shade-on!
DARK CHAO ADVENTURES
Bonus series
"Professor Shade-on and the Curious Animals"
JOURNAL (Chapter 8)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? SOLVED (BIG "SOLVED")
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? SOLVED
- Time for the answer! The culprit whom released the animals is to be revealed! But, who is he? SOLVED
- Can't hold him forever! Chaos did it, alright! But, why? UNSOLVED
Facts:
Chaos started Chaos Cola, WHY?
Chaos killed Knuckles, HOW? WHY?
Chaos unleashed the animals, HOW? WHY?
Chaos got Punchinello to be an accomplice, HOW? WHY?
Chaos kidnapped SShade, WHY?
Chaos set them free, WHY?
Chaos went to the gardens with a chainsaw, WHY?
Epilogue
[cut to the Police Station]
[Chaos is still in custody]
Policeman: Well, we can't keep him in here forever. We may as well let him go.
SShade: Not so fast, police.
[the female Shade is there now, as well as Chaosky, Zagu, Mecha, and Metal]
SShade: I know why Chaos did it.
Chaos: Heh. Highly unlikely.
SShade: Just watch me.
The Big Whodunitz (Why Chaos Did it)
First, let us go back in time, to when Tikal and Knuckles were in love. That was nice and all, but Amy isn't the only one
who stood in between them. Chaos loved Tikal very much. After all, they have to stay together in the Master Emerald, why not?
So, once Chaos found out that Tikal was in love with Knuckles, he got in contact with Amy/Amy fell in love with Knuckles.
This was the perfect oppurtunity for Chaos to strike.
Tikal went to Knuckles' apartment, and was knocked unconcscious. Then, Chaos got there, and murdalized him. Somewhere around that time, Tikal got up and left.
You see, once Tikal left him, Chaos knew the love they shared was gone. He slowly fell into a crazed state, having lost
his one true love. So, he decided to get Tikal sent to jail. And he did. He wasn't even brought up in the case, and that
is my fault.
Anyway, once he was loveless, he wanted to release his anger even more. So, he chose the creatures he was guarding-- us.
As you all know, Chaos is the guardian of the chao. But, he felt that we deserved to suffer, just as he was.
Then, he met Punchinello Kawizzyworth. This guy worked for the CIA. ...oh, did I forget to mention that? Yeah, he did.
Anyway, Mr. Kawizzyworth told him about the G-A Project, and Chaos told him to put it into effect.
Then, after the animals were released, and Tikal was arrested, Punchinello let him know that we were poking around.
So, he kidnapped us. Why? To test our skills. He wanted to know which was the one behind Tikal's arrest.
That is why he threw the grenade in. Once I got rid of it, he let us go. He was hoping we would stop poking around, but...
He came to the gardens with a chainsaw, as you know. He came to kill the animals, and to finish off any remaining chao.
Of course, I was there to stop him.
Now, Chaos Cola was started just so he could keep a close eye on us. Make sure we die.
In the end, this complicated plan of his didn't work out, did it?
[Chaos is shaking heavily]
SShade: See? The face of a guilty person.
Chaos: Grr......
Policeman: Well done, Shade. You've helped us get a dangerous person put to jail.
SShade: I suggest you release Tikal, and also arrest a mister Punchinello Kawizzyworh. He's currently working at CPAK.
Policeman: We'll get right on that.
Chaos: Shade....... don't think I'll forget this. I won't. Your face... I will remember. Your death.... is certain.
[Chaos is then led into the police car]
Chy: I'm getting a big deja vu from this.
SShade: You are?
Chy: Yeah. I don't know why, but the scene with someone being put into a police car... being typed into DCA....
Zagu: Oh, I'm sure it's nothing. So, Shade, you ready to return home now?
SShade: Yes. The animals should be gone now. Oh, and also...
Both: Yeah, Shade?
SShade: Please.... call me, "Professor."
Sorry about that, guys. ...well, if you read this blog, then, sorry. Anway, I've got SOMETHING for you. The conclusion to Professor Shade-on!
DARK CHAO ADVENTURES
Bonus series
"Professor Shade-on and the Curious Animals"
JOURNAL (Chapter 8)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? SOLVED (BIG "SOLVED")
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? SOLVED
- Time for the answer! The culprit whom released the animals is to be revealed! But, who is he? SOLVED
- Can't hold him forever! Chaos did it, alright! But, why? UNSOLVED
Facts:
Chaos started Chaos Cola, WHY?
Chaos killed Knuckles, HOW? WHY?
Chaos unleashed the animals, HOW? WHY?
Chaos got Punchinello to be an accomplice, HOW? WHY?
Chaos kidnapped SShade, WHY?
Chaos set them free, WHY?
Chaos went to the gardens with a chainsaw, WHY?
Epilogue
[cut to the Police Station]
[Chaos is still in custody]
Policeman: Well, we can't keep him in here forever. We may as well let him go.
SShade: Not so fast, police.
[the female Shade is there now, as well as Chaosky, Zagu, Mecha, and Metal]
SShade: I know why Chaos did it.
Chaos: Heh. Highly unlikely.
SShade: Just watch me.
The Big Whodunitz (Why Chaos Did it)
First, let us go back in time, to when Tikal and Knuckles were in love. That was nice and all, but Amy isn't the only one
who stood in between them. Chaos loved Tikal very much. After all, they have to stay together in the Master Emerald, why not?
So, once Chaos found out that Tikal was in love with Knuckles, he got in contact with Amy/Amy fell in love with Knuckles.
This was the perfect oppurtunity for Chaos to strike.
Tikal went to Knuckles' apartment, and was knocked unconcscious. Then, Chaos got there, and murdalized him. Somewhere around that time, Tikal got up and left.
You see, once Tikal left him, Chaos knew the love they shared was gone. He slowly fell into a crazed state, having lost
his one true love. So, he decided to get Tikal sent to jail. And he did. He wasn't even brought up in the case, and that
is my fault.
Anyway, once he was loveless, he wanted to release his anger even more. So, he chose the creatures he was guarding-- us.
As you all know, Chaos is the guardian of the chao. But, he felt that we deserved to suffer, just as he was.
Then, he met Punchinello Kawizzyworth. This guy worked for the CIA. ...oh, did I forget to mention that? Yeah, he did.
Anyway, Mr. Kawizzyworth told him about the G-A Project, and Chaos told him to put it into effect.
Then, after the animals were released, and Tikal was arrested, Punchinello let him know that we were poking around.
So, he kidnapped us. Why? To test our skills. He wanted to know which was the one behind Tikal's arrest.
That is why he threw the grenade in. Once I got rid of it, he let us go. He was hoping we would stop poking around, but...
He came to the gardens with a chainsaw, as you know. He came to kill the animals, and to finish off any remaining chao.
Of course, I was there to stop him.
Now, Chaos Cola was started just so he could keep a close eye on us. Make sure we die.
In the end, this complicated plan of his didn't work out, did it?
[Chaos is shaking heavily]
SShade: See? The face of a guilty person.
Chaos: Grr......
Policeman: Well done, Shade. You've helped us get a dangerous person put to jail.
SShade: I suggest you release Tikal, and also arrest a mister Punchinello Kawizzyworh. He's currently working at CPAK.
Policeman: We'll get right on that.
Chaos: Shade....... don't think I'll forget this. I won't. Your face... I will remember. Your death.... is certain.
[Chaos is then led into the police car]
Chy: I'm getting a big deja vu from this.
SShade: You are?
Chy: Yeah. I don't know why, but the scene with someone being put into a police car... being typed into DCA....
Zagu: Oh, I'm sure it's nothing. So, Shade, you ready to return home now?
SShade: Yes. The animals should be gone now. Oh, and also...
Both: Yeah, Shade?
SShade: Please.... call me, "Professor."
Friday, May 29, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Sorry, haven't been on in a while.
First, it was DCA09 taking so long to finish.
Then, school.
Then, a small break.
Now, it's Facebook. AND DCA09.
So, sorry about that. Not to worry, though. Just be patient, and AMAZING things will come. Truly amazing things. EXTRA amazing things. ....maybe.
So..... so.... yeah.
Then, school.
Then, a small break.
Now, it's Facebook. AND DCA09.
So, sorry about that. Not to worry, though. Just be patient, and AMAZING things will come. Truly amazing things. EXTRA amazing things. ....maybe.
So..... so.... yeah.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Shade-on, "Final Hazards"
DARK CHAO ADVENTURES
Bonus Series
"Professor Shade-on and the Curious Animals"
JOURNAL (Chapter 7)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? SOLVED
- Time for the answer! The culprit whom released the animals is to be revealed! But, who is he? UNSOLVED
SUSPECTS: Mecha Knuckles (Male, Mecha)- Shade's mentor in this case. Would have gained respect among Poker Gang.
Tikal (Female, in custody)- Arrested for murder of Knuckles. Would have gained Knuckles' death (revenge).
Mephiles (Male, demon)- Demonic being, murdered Eggman, works at Burger King. Would have gained revenge on Knuckles, on chao.
Chaos (Male probably, god of destruction)- Unknown. Owns Chaos Cola bar. Unknown what would have gained.
Punchinello (Male, principal of CPAK)- Full: Punchinello Kawizzyworth. Unknown what would have gained.
So, whodunitz?
Chapter 8: Shade-on Versus the Anonymous Culprit
[cut to the Stardust Eggman, in the attic]
SShade: After re-reading my evidence, it is obvious to me now. The culprit is--
MK: Ap! Quiet. Let your desciples find out tonight.
Chy: Tonight?
Zagu: What happens tonight?
MK: You will find out. For now, here's the full information on the Government Animals Project.
The Government Animals Project (G-A Project) (File #1191212-38115)
G-A stands for "Government-Animals," which fits quite nicely. The government filed this report years ago, around January 9th, 2004, I believe. I don't remember the specifics, but it has something to do with placing animals under mind control. GOVERNMENT mind control. The worst kind, *shudder*. The animals were given some sort of poison, as well. A chemical of some sort, that gave them strange instincts. VERY strange. Not what the government wanted, so they decided to can the project. I'm not sure why it has resurfaced, though... and in one week, they were going to completely eliminate the plans. Make it so this project never existed. Very strange how the plans appear to be intact, and better than ever, huh?
Someone brought this project back to life, all right. Someone on the inside. This person probably works for the CIA, and is very serious about his or her work. This person certainly put a lot of thought into how to release the animals, from the looks of it. Then again, that might not be true. Alls I know is... when this project is finished, your gardens will be, too.
Around the time the G-A Project was brought back, Chaos, the god of destruction, opened up the Chaos Cola bar in Station Square. That night, Doctor Eggman was murdered by Mephiles. Mephiles is suspected as being the person behind the project.
[the chao stare in awe, except the Professor]
Zagu: So... so it was Mephiles all along?
SShade: Nope. It wasn't Mephiles.
Mephiles' Doings (Why it wasn't Mephiles)
Sure, Mephiles killed Eggman. But, that, itself, isn't enough proof. The only reason Mephiles killed him is because he "knew too much." As you should know, Mephiles has been known to not only kill people randomly, but he has held a grudge against Eggman for a while.
Sure, Mephiles planned on killing Knuckles. Only because Knuckles was his boss, and promoted somebody else instead of his pal. That's really the only reason.
That's all that he has done. Not enough proof for him to be called the culprit.
Chy: Ooh! Ooh! It has to have been Mister Punchinello Kawizzyworth!
SShade: Wasn't him, either.
Punchinello's Doings (Why it wasn't Mister Kawizzyworth)
Punchinello Kawizzyworth is a vaguely strange person. However, once you realize something, he's not. He is actually just one of those people, one of those suck-ups, brown-nosers, basically, he found the culprit, and thought he was awesome. So, he decided to stick by him all this time. He's not the kind of person who would do something that bad.
Zagu: What about Mecha?
MK: WHAT?! Ya little runt!
SShade: Just trust me, Zagu. It wasn't Mecha.
Chaosky: Well, you've shot down every one of the suspects.
SShade: Not EVERY one.
MK: Hmm... you chao had better run along, now. It's nearly nighttime.
[cut to the Chao Lobby at night]
[the animals have been completely destroying everything]
Zagu: Professor, what are we doing here?
SShade: Simple. The culprit always returns to the scene of the crime. In this case--
[vvvvvvvrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! (chainsaw)]
Chy: Who's that?
SShade: The same person behind everything.
[in comes the culprit, carrying a chainsaw]
?: You chao are gonna pay! Pay for everything!
[SShade trips him]
?: Oof!
[he drops the chainsaw]
[he looks back with two glowing, green eyes]
?: Of course... more chao.... well, I can still kill you without a chainsaw!
SShade: Really, now?
?: Wait a second... you're Shade. The female Shade. You got Tikal arrested! *chuckle* I guess I oughta thank you for that.
[zoom in on the two green eyes]
?: Too bad that's the only good you've done.
The Duel ("The Big One" conclusion)
[dramatic music and camera angles]
[SShade tells the other two to stand back]
[the culprit instantly attacks her]
[she fights back with some dodges (wait wut)]
[the culprit misses a lot, before melting away]
SShade: Oh, no you don't!
[SShade chases after a puddle as it teleports away (via the Chao Exit thingy)]
[the other two follow]
[cut to a highway (somehow, they got there)]
[SShade chases the puddle into a streetlight, where she trips and screams]
SShade: AAAHHH!!! I broke my leg! I can't move!
[the puddle stops, and forms into a solid shape-- a blue, humanoid figure with two glowing, green eyes]
?: Behold... it's Chaos.... the GOD.... of DESTRUCTION!
[Chaos starts laughing maniacally as he slowly steps towards SShade, on the ground, squirming]
SShade: Stay... stay away!
Chaos: Sorry, Nirvana... but this is one guy who won't stay away!
[suddenly, SShade hops up and punches Chaos in the face]
Chaos: AH! ****!
[Chaos melts in a weird way, so he's half-puddle and half-Chaos]
SShade: Book 'em!
[the police appear out of nowhere and arrest Chaos]
Chaos: Mark my words, Shade.... I will get you for this. I.... WILL!
[cut to the Stardust Eggman, attic; Mecha is there, as are the chao]
MK: So, how'd you figure it out?
SShade: It was quite simple. A strange bar appears out of nowhere, we get kidnapped there, and stuff like that.
Zagu: Was it really that simple?
SShade: Well, the fact that Chaos and Tikal were lovers definitely helped.
All: WHAT?!
MK: Not even I knew that!
SShade: You didn't know? It was pretty obvious from the way Chaos was acting that he lost a loved one.
MK: Amazing. Little girl chao, you are an ace detective.
SShade: I sure am.
?: But, one thing's still not clear.
MYSTERY: Final Hazards
[Metal comes into the room]
MS: Yeah, yeah, I've heard the whole thing, and I could tell that Chaos and Tikal were loverbirds, but still, one question remains.
MK: And that is?
MS: Why?
[SShade stares, eyes wide]
SShade: I... I never really thought of that.
MS: Well, motives are everything, so you'd better think of SOMETHING, FAST.
MK: Good point. The cops won't be able to hold Chaos for too long without an explanation.
SShade: Hmm.... meet me in the Police Station in one hour. I think I've got one.
The final mystery!
JOURNAL (Chapter 8)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? SOLVED (BIG "SOLVED")
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? SOLVED
- Time for the answer! The culprit whom released the animals is to be revealed! But, who is he? SOLVED
- Can't hold him forever! Chaos did it, alright! But, why? UNSOLVED
Facts:
Chaos started Chaos Cola, WHY?
Chaos killed Knuckles, HOW? WHY?
Chaos unleashed the animals, HOW? WHY?
Chaos got Punchinello to be an accomplice, HOW? WHY?
Chaos kidnapped SShade, WHY?
Chaos set them free, WHY?
Chaos went to the gardens with a chainsaw, WHY?
Bonus Series
"Professor Shade-on and the Curious Animals"
JOURNAL (Chapter 7)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? SOLVED
- Time for the answer! The culprit whom released the animals is to be revealed! But, who is he? UNSOLVED
SUSPECTS: Mecha Knuckles (Male, Mecha)- Shade's mentor in this case. Would have gained respect among Poker Gang.
Tikal (Female, in custody)- Arrested for murder of Knuckles. Would have gained Knuckles' death (revenge).
Mephiles (Male, demon)- Demonic being, murdered Eggman, works at Burger King. Would have gained revenge on Knuckles, on chao.
Chaos (Male probably, god of destruction)- Unknown. Owns Chaos Cola bar. Unknown what would have gained.
Punchinello (Male, principal of CPAK)- Full: Punchinello Kawizzyworth. Unknown what would have gained.
So, whodunitz?
Chapter 8: Shade-on Versus the Anonymous Culprit
[cut to the Stardust Eggman, in the attic]
SShade: After re-reading my evidence, it is obvious to me now. The culprit is--
MK: Ap! Quiet. Let your desciples find out tonight.
Chy: Tonight?
Zagu: What happens tonight?
MK: You will find out. For now, here's the full information on the Government Animals Project.
The Government Animals Project (G-A Project) (File #1191212-38115)
G-A stands for "Government-Animals," which fits quite nicely. The government filed this report years ago, around January 9th, 2004, I believe. I don't remember the specifics, but it has something to do with placing animals under mind control. GOVERNMENT mind control. The worst kind, *shudder*. The animals were given some sort of poison, as well. A chemical of some sort, that gave them strange instincts. VERY strange. Not what the government wanted, so they decided to can the project. I'm not sure why it has resurfaced, though... and in one week, they were going to completely eliminate the plans. Make it so this project never existed. Very strange how the plans appear to be intact, and better than ever, huh?
Someone brought this project back to life, all right. Someone on the inside. This person probably works for the CIA, and is very serious about his or her work. This person certainly put a lot of thought into how to release the animals, from the looks of it. Then again, that might not be true. Alls I know is... when this project is finished, your gardens will be, too.
Around the time the G-A Project was brought back, Chaos, the god of destruction, opened up the Chaos Cola bar in Station Square. That night, Doctor Eggman was murdered by Mephiles. Mephiles is suspected as being the person behind the project.
[the chao stare in awe, except the Professor]
Zagu: So... so it was Mephiles all along?
SShade: Nope. It wasn't Mephiles.
Mephiles' Doings (Why it wasn't Mephiles)
Sure, Mephiles killed Eggman. But, that, itself, isn't enough proof. The only reason Mephiles killed him is because he "knew too much." As you should know, Mephiles has been known to not only kill people randomly, but he has held a grudge against Eggman for a while.
Sure, Mephiles planned on killing Knuckles. Only because Knuckles was his boss, and promoted somebody else instead of his pal. That's really the only reason.
That's all that he has done. Not enough proof for him to be called the culprit.
Chy: Ooh! Ooh! It has to have been Mister Punchinello Kawizzyworth!
SShade: Wasn't him, either.
Punchinello's Doings (Why it wasn't Mister Kawizzyworth)
Punchinello Kawizzyworth is a vaguely strange person. However, once you realize something, he's not. He is actually just one of those people, one of those suck-ups, brown-nosers, basically, he found the culprit, and thought he was awesome. So, he decided to stick by him all this time. He's not the kind of person who would do something that bad.
Zagu: What about Mecha?
MK: WHAT?! Ya little runt!
SShade: Just trust me, Zagu. It wasn't Mecha.
Chaosky: Well, you've shot down every one of the suspects.
SShade: Not EVERY one.
MK: Hmm... you chao had better run along, now. It's nearly nighttime.
[cut to the Chao Lobby at night]
[the animals have been completely destroying everything]
Zagu: Professor, what are we doing here?
SShade: Simple. The culprit always returns to the scene of the crime. In this case--
[vvvvvvvrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! (chainsaw)]
Chy: Who's that?
SShade: The same person behind everything.
[in comes the culprit, carrying a chainsaw]
?: You chao are gonna pay! Pay for everything!
[SShade trips him]
?: Oof!
[he drops the chainsaw]
[he looks back with two glowing, green eyes]
?: Of course... more chao.... well, I can still kill you without a chainsaw!
SShade: Really, now?
?: Wait a second... you're Shade. The female Shade. You got Tikal arrested! *chuckle* I guess I oughta thank you for that.
[zoom in on the two green eyes]
?: Too bad that's the only good you've done.
The Duel ("The Big One" conclusion)
[dramatic music and camera angles]
[SShade tells the other two to stand back]
[the culprit instantly attacks her]
[she fights back with some dodges (wait wut)]
[the culprit misses a lot, before melting away]
SShade: Oh, no you don't!
[SShade chases after a puddle as it teleports away (via the Chao Exit thingy)]
[the other two follow]
[cut to a highway (somehow, they got there)]
[SShade chases the puddle into a streetlight, where she trips and screams]
SShade: AAAHHH!!! I broke my leg! I can't move!
[the puddle stops, and forms into a solid shape-- a blue, humanoid figure with two glowing, green eyes]
?: Behold... it's Chaos.... the GOD.... of DESTRUCTION!
[Chaos starts laughing maniacally as he slowly steps towards SShade, on the ground, squirming]
SShade: Stay... stay away!
Chaos: Sorry, Nirvana... but this is one guy who won't stay away!
[suddenly, SShade hops up and punches Chaos in the face]
Chaos: AH! ****!
[Chaos melts in a weird way, so he's half-puddle and half-Chaos]
SShade: Book 'em!
[the police appear out of nowhere and arrest Chaos]
Chaos: Mark my words, Shade.... I will get you for this. I.... WILL!
[cut to the Stardust Eggman, attic; Mecha is there, as are the chao]
MK: So, how'd you figure it out?
SShade: It was quite simple. A strange bar appears out of nowhere, we get kidnapped there, and stuff like that.
Zagu: Was it really that simple?
SShade: Well, the fact that Chaos and Tikal were lovers definitely helped.
All: WHAT?!
MK: Not even I knew that!
SShade: You didn't know? It was pretty obvious from the way Chaos was acting that he lost a loved one.
MK: Amazing. Little girl chao, you are an ace detective.
SShade: I sure am.
?: But, one thing's still not clear.
MYSTERY: Final Hazards
[Metal comes into the room]
MS: Yeah, yeah, I've heard the whole thing, and I could tell that Chaos and Tikal were loverbirds, but still, one question remains.
MK: And that is?
MS: Why?
[SShade stares, eyes wide]
SShade: I... I never really thought of that.
MS: Well, motives are everything, so you'd better think of SOMETHING, FAST.
MK: Good point. The cops won't be able to hold Chaos for too long without an explanation.
SShade: Hmm.... meet me in the Police Station in one hour. I think I've got one.
The final mystery!
JOURNAL (Chapter 8)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? SOLVED (BIG "SOLVED")
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? SOLVED
- Time for the answer! The culprit whom released the animals is to be revealed! But, who is he? SOLVED
- Can't hold him forever! Chaos did it, alright! But, why? UNSOLVED
Facts:
Chaos started Chaos Cola, WHY?
Chaos killed Knuckles, HOW? WHY?
Chaos unleashed the animals, HOW? WHY?
Chaos got Punchinello to be an accomplice, HOW? WHY?
Chaos kidnapped SShade, WHY?
Chaos set them free, WHY?
Chaos went to the gardens with a chainsaw, WHY?
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