Dark Chao Adventures
Adventuring since 2005.
Episode Sixty-Eight: Of Frying Pans and Fires
Our story resumes in the Station Square airport, at 2:10.
Chapter 1: Unbound (The Wild Ride)
[Shade, Dark, Shadow, Chao (Dark Chaos Chao), Mecha Knuckles, the Tails Doll, Invader Zim, and GIR are heading to a plane]
Shade: Right. You guys know the plan, right?
MK: Don't worry about it, kid. We're experts at this.
[they enter the airplane]
Shade: Zim, Tails Doll, you two are up.
[Zim and the Tails Doll head into the flight deck; the pilot turns to look at them]
Pilot: What the? What are you doing here?
TD: Greetings, plane driver person. We are from the government.
Zim: The Station Square government!
TD: You see, we are giving out prizes for Best Dancer, Best Pilot, Best Singer, and Biggest A7X Fan.
Zim: I won Biggest A7X Fan.
[Dark shouts: "NUH-UH, I DID!"]
Pilot: I see... and what did I win?
TD: Oh, you didn't win ANYTHING. We just wanted to laugh in your face about that.
Pilot: What?! That can't be right! I demand to speak with whoever is giving out these awards!
Zim: If you wish to speak with him, he is out in the bookstore in the airport mall.
Pilot: Alright. *gets up* Who do I ask for?
Zim: Uh.. um.. uh...
TD: John Smith.
Pilot: Got it. I'll be right back; I've got some "awards" to give out of my own.
[the pilot leaves the plane]
[the others walk into the flight deck]
TD: Wow. That was easier than I thought.
Zim: Yeah, I barely even had to say anything.
Shade: Right! Time, Chao!
Chao: It's.. 2:12.
Shade: We're making good time. Who here can fly a commercial airliner?
Zim: Ooh! Me! Me! Pick ME!
MK: I can fly pretty well.
Shade: Uh.. I think I'm gonna go with Mecha for this one.
MK: Yes! In your face, Zim!
Zim: Shut up, robot!
Shade: Hurry, guys! Time is of the essence!
MK: Of course.
[Mecha takes to the controls]
MK: Uh, hey, control tower, this is, um........ Sigma-Alpha ONE. Are we clear for take-off, over?
CT: This is control tower, you are clear, over.
MK: Awesome. In that case.. and I've been DYING to say this... Thunderbirds are go! ....over.
[Mecha starts up the plane and drives it on the runway; the others carefully watch in anxiety]
[as they go, another plane drives in front of them-- they're gonna collide soon]
MK: Uh.. HEY! YOU! Plane in front of me! Who is that?! I demand to speak with your pilot, over!
[suddenly, Fang the Sniper's voice speaks from the radio]
Fang: 'Sup, Sigma-Alpha One? This is the pilot of Aeroforce Three speaking. Whatchu want, over?
MK: Aeroforce Three, I need the runway clear for take-off, over!
Fang: Well, I guess I could try to steer clear for a bit. Gimme a sec, over.
[Aeroforce Three drives to the side]
MK: Appreciate it, over and out.
[Mecha puts the pedal to the metal, then pulls up; they fly]
MK: We have lift-off, over!
CT: Congrats, Sigma-Alpha One, over.
MK: Hey, Control Tower? How far is Prison Island from here, over?
CT: About.. ten minutes? I suppose, over.
MK: Thanks, over.
[Mecha hits "Autopilot," and turns around in his seat]
MK: Alright, so we'll be there in about ten minutes if we go at normal speed, five if we do it Mecha-style. Any questions?
[the others are staring in awe]
TD: Gotta hand it to you, Mecha.. I never once thought that you could fly a plane.
MK: 'Course I can fly a plane! Flight Simulator taught me.
Shade: So we've got five minutes, then?
MK: Yep. Leave it to me; I'll get us there.
Shade: Chao, how much time left?
Chao: Fifteen minutes.
Shade: So when we're there, we'll have ten minutes to look around for a Chao Transporter, AND to disarm the bomb.
TD: Pfft, that'll be the easy part. The hard part is getting to Prison Island.
Shadow: Well.. what's so hard about it?
TD: I heard they've got a new prisoner.. a REALLY dangerous one, so they're amping up security.
Chao: A new prisoner? Do you know who it is?
TD: Not a clue. I just know he's REALLY bad.
MK: ...well.. I'd better get back to flying.
[Mecha turns back around and flies the plane]
MK: By the way.. hold on tight.
[Mecha hits a button that says "Do Not Hit This Button"]
[the plane starts flying at twice the speed]
CT: Uh.. Sigma-Alpha One, did you just press the Turbo Button, over?
MK: Hell yeah, Control Tower. Over.
CT: What for, over?
MK: It's fun, over.
CT: Huh. Can't argue with that. Carry on, then.. over.
[the plane flies for a few minutes]
?: Hey, Sigma-Alpha One... keep going at that speed, and you're gonna DIE, over.
MK: Up yours, buddy. By the way, who is this, over?
?: Nobody special.. just the King of Dairy Products, over.
[everyone looks at Shade]
Shade: ..he's using a codename. That guy is NOT.. the king.
MK: Hey, is that YOUR name, over?
?: Oh, no, sorry. That's the name of the plane. Sorry. Over.
MK: Oh. Okay. Seriously, who are you, over?
?: I'm just the guy who you kicked out of the plane. That's supposed to be MY plane, over.
MK: Well.. sorry, but we really needed this, otherwise my friends' homes would blow up! Over.
?: Oh, snap, really? Over.
MK: Yeah. Some jerk planted a bomb in their home, and we need to go to Prison Island to save them, over.
?: Damn. That's intense. Alright, sorry for bothering you. Over and out.
Zim: He seemed like a nice guy.
GIR: We should invite him over for tea and cupcakes.
[eventually, they reach Prison Island and land the plane]
Chapter 2: Aisle of Plenty
Shade: Alright, we've got ten minutes! GO!
[they run out of the plane and enter the Prison Island Prison Place]
[they enter the reception.. place... room]
Shade: Hey!
Clerk: Hey.
Shade: Where's the nearest Chao Transporter?
Clerk: That room, there, but it's under repairs.
Shade: Oh, you've GOTTA be kidding me!
Clerk: You can try to fix it, if you'd like.
Shade: Sure, why not?
[they enter the next room and see the broken Chao Transporter]
Shade: Mecha! Check it!
MK: Got it.
[Mecha kicks it]
MK: ...I can fix it, no prob.
Shade: Yes!
MK: BUT I'm gonna need some parts.
Shade: Crap! What parts?
MK: ...a screwdriver, some pliers, and a ham sandwich.
Shadow: Robots don't eat sandwiches.
MK: Well then, why am I ordering one, then, buddy? Stupid.
Shade: Fine! We'll get you your stuff. Dark, Chao, look for the screwdriver.
Dark+Chao: Okay.
Shade: Zim, GIR, look for the pliers.
Zim: Right. Come, GIR!
GIR: But I want some tuna on my sammich!
Shade: Shadow, you and I will get the sandwich.
Shadow: Sure.
TD: What about me?
Shade: Stay here and keep Mecha company.
TD: Fine.
Shade: Let's go!
[they run their seperate ways]
[cut to Chao and Dark in some guard quarters]
Chao: If we were screwdrivers, where would we be?
Dark: Wal-Mart.
Chao: Well, there isn't a Wal-Mart here, so let's--
[Dark points at a nearby Wal-Mart]
Chao: ..oh.
[cut to Zim and GIR in a bathroom]
Zim: Now, then.. those pliers have to be around here somewhere.
GIR: But we's in a bathroom!
Zim: I know that, GIR.. but didn't you know? Human bathrooms are not used the way we use them.
GIR: Then what do humans use 'em for?
Zim: Storage and communication!
GIR: Yay, mah favorite!
[Zim checks inside a bathroom stall]
Zim: Hmm.. nothing in this one. How about THIS one?
[he checks the next one-- PLIERS :D]
Zim: SUCCESS!
[cut to Shade and Shadow walkin' down some cell block]
Shadow: Shade, none of these guys are gonna give us their food.
Shade: That's what YOU think. All we gotta do is get 'em to like us.
Shadow: How would we do that?
Shade: Just watch.
[Shade walks down the block, whistling casually]
[none of the prisoners notice or care; they're all rowdy and whatnot]
[suddenly, a cell phone's ringtone is heard]
[Shade pulls out a giant cell phone]
Shade: HELLO!?!?
[everyone goes quiet]
Shade: WHAT?!
[everyone stares at the chao holding the massive cell phone]
Shade: ....NO, I'M IN PRISON ISLAND!!!
[pause]
Shade: .........PRISON ISLAND!!!
[some prisoners start to chuckle]
Shade: ..YEAH, IT'S RUBBISH!!! TOTAL RUBBISH!!!
[more begin to laugh]
Shade: .......WHAT?! .....I.. I CAN'T HEAR YOU; YOU'RE CRACKING UP!!!
[an uproar begins]
Shade: YOU'RE.. YOU'RE CRACKING UP!!! YEAH!!! CIAO!!!
[Shade puts the huge phone away]
[the prisoners applaud]
Shade: Alright! Alright. Does anybody have a ham sandwich we could have?
[a dozen ham sandwiches are thrown at him (almost like roses onto a stage)]
Shade: Thanks!
[Shade grabs the lot, gets Shadow, and they head back]
[cut back to the Chao Transporter; everyone gathers together and gives Mecha the stuff]
[Shade gives everyone a ham sandwich]
MK: Alright. I should have it fixed by five 'til.
Shade: So we'll have five minutes to defuse the bomb. Plenty of time.
[Mecha works and works and works until he gets it fixed]
MK: All done.
Shade: Great! C'mon, get in!
[they teleport to the Chao Lobby and hurry down to the Dark Garden]
Chapter 3: Let There Be Rock
[five minutes on the clock]
[the bomb is sitting there in the center of the garden]
Shade: Okay. Okay. We're here now. Who is good at defusing bombs?
Zim: Meh. I do 'em all the time.
Shade: Can you do this one?
Zim: Sure, sure.
[Zim walks on over to the bomb and examines it]
Zim: Ugh. It's not a typical bomb... it's all weird-y.
TD: What? You're ****ing us. Let me see.
[the Doll floats on over and examines it]
TD: ...well, **** me. He's right. It IS all weird-y.
Shade: Aw, dammit.. how are we gonna defuse it?
TD: I'd try the usual stuff, but I don't want to risk accidentally setting it off.
Shade: Then WHAT?! What are we gonna do?!
Dark: I have an idea.
Shade: Let's hear it, c'mon!
Dark: Let's show it the real superpower of rock.
Shade: Can we risk it? Do we have short songs?
Dark: Short, but EPIC.
Shade: Come ON, guys! We have four minutes to defuse this ****ing thing, or else we're all
gonna DIE! ANY IDEAS?!
Shadow: How.. how about Sgt. Pepper, plus from my Friends?
Shade: Four minutes and forty-six seconds.. wanna risk it?
All: Sure.
Shade: Okay! Okay. Hit it!
[Dark- guitar (plus backup vocals)]
[Shade- drums (plus backup vocals)]
[Chao- bass (plus backup vocals)]
[Shadow- vocals (plus rhythm guitar)]
[plus bonus instruments by Zim and GIR! 8D]
[they are currently playing Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (The Beatles)]
[they start off wit--no, why am I describing this? Everyone knows this song.]
[in case you don't, then http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoJGDC10lZw ]
Shadow: It was twenty years ago today,
Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play.
They've been going in and out of style,
But they're guaranteed to raise a smile!
So may I introduce to you...
The act you've known for all these years,
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Baaaaaand!
All: We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band,
We hope you will enjoy the show,
We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band,
Sit back and let the evening go!
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely,
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.
All: It's wonderful to be here,
It's certainly a thrill.
You're such a lovely audience,
We'd like to take you home with us,
We'd love to take you home!
(Dark's guitar solo in the background)
Shadow: I don't really want to stop the show,
But I thought that you might like to know,
That the singer's going to sing a song,
And he wants you all to sing along.
So let me introduce to you...
The one and only Billy Shears!
And Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Baaaaaand, yeah!
[quickly, they switch up]
[Mecha- Drums]
[Tails Doll- bass]
[Zim- guitar]
[GIR- rhythm guitar (wow, imagine that xD)]
[Dark- vocals]
[the other chao- Backup vocals]
[now they're playing With a Little Help From My Friends (still The Beatles)]
[ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiDmHKvGe4s&feature=related ]
All: Biiiiiiiillyyyyyyy Shears!
Dark: What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,
And I'll try not to sing out of key.
(Parenthesis is Dark-only)
Dark: I get by with a little help from my friends,
I get high with a little help from my friends,
All: (Going to) try with a little help from my friends.
Dark: What do I do when my love is away?
Backup: Does it worry you to be alone?
Dark: How do I feel by the end of the day?
Backup: Are you sad because you're on your own?
All: (No, I get) by with a little help from my friends.
(I get) high with a little help from my friends,
(Going to) try with a little help from my friends.
Backup: Do you need anybody?
Dark: I need somebody to love.
Backup: Could it be anybody?
Dark: I want somebody to love.
Backup: Would you believe in a love at first sight?
Dark: Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time!
Backup: What do you see when you turn out the light?
Dark: I can't tell you, but I know it's mine.
All: (Oh, I get) by with a little help from my friends,
(I get) high with a little help from my friends,
(Going to) try with a little help from my friends.
Backup: Do you need anybody?
Dark: I just need someone to love...
Backup: Could it be anybody?
Dark: I want somebody to love.
All: (I get) by with a little help from my friends,
(Gonna) try with a little help from my friends,
(Get) high with a little help from my friends.
Dark: Yes, I get by with a little help from my friends,
With a little help from my frieeeennnnddds!
[Zim starts playing the opening lick to Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds]
[everyone looks at him]
Zim: ..oh, sorry. I thought we were still going.
[the bomb is still sizzling down]
Shade: Crap. We just wasted most of our time doing that.
Chao: Wait, wait, wait.. did that say "sizzling?"
Shade: Yeah. Why?
[Chao facepalms, then goes over and blows the fuse out]
[everyone cheers; Chao continues facepalming]
MK: Man, kid, you're smart. How did you know to do that?
Chao: MY question is why we didn't check that fuse in the first place.
Chapter 4: Change of the Guard
[Levity Nite and Eggman enter the room]
Nite: Congratulations. You have solved Mephiles' challenge.. can you solve his next?
Shade: You've gotta be kidding me.
Egg: I'm afraid he's not, mah boi. Mephiles has proven to be a worthy opponent... and a worthy bargainer.
Shade: Is he a Veteran now?
Egg: No, although I wouldn't be surprised if he becomes one by the end of the day.
Zim: Foolish egg-person... you are merely letting the demon-boy deal his cards?
Egg: We.. really can't.
Nite: Mephiles has explained his intentions to us, and they do not interfere with our own.
Chao: So you're not even going to stop him from killing SHADOW? I thought he was the one you needed.
Nite: We do not NEED Shadow. He would be very useful to us, but we have backup plans.
Egg: Yes, yes, quite right. Besides, we have reason to believe that you will best Mephiles unaided.
MK: What makes you think THAT?
Nite: For starters, you just did more as a group in an hour than you do individually over a month.
Egg: Trust us, guys. You can do this.
Shadow: And what's in it for us?
Nite: Well... your gardens won't be at risk from being destroyed by Mephiles.
Egg: That, and we know the location of the next two Chaos Drives. We will agree to reveal them to you if you pull this off.
Shadow: ...I'm in.
[the others all agree]
Nite: Glad you accepted. Mephiles has told me to tell you another message.
Shade: Let's hear it.
Nite: *ahem* "I do a lot of bargaining. Let me bargain with YOU. I will not try to harm your gardens, letting you come and
get me. Can you do that? Sure you can. You know where I am, right, Shade? Still, you might want to seriously consider this."
[Shade looks at the others]
[they shrug their shoulders]
Shade: I.. guess we'll accept his bargain.
Nite: Ah, in that case, he has a second message.
Shade: Oh, boy...
Nite: "In case you're wondering about the 'bargain' part of it, I will try to harm YOU. Not your gardens."
TD: Heh. Is that all?
Nite: *checks* ...yes.
TD: Man, this will be freaking EASY.
Nite: Come, Eggman. We must not interfere.
Egg: Al..alright.
[Levity and Eggman leave]
Dark: We can do this, right, Shade?
Shade: Of course. This'll be child's play.
Chao: I dunno.. I mean, he's gonna send everything he has.
Shade: Yeah, but he WON'T be harming the gardens, so we only have to focus on one goal.
MK: So let's hurry up and DO that, already.
Shade: Of course. Right. C'mon, let's go.
[they head out of the Dark Garden, and go to the Exit.. thingy]
Chapter 5: Land of Confusion
[cut to Station Square-- the hotel in it, specifically]
[the gang comes out of an elevator]
TD: ..weirdest teleporter ever.
Shade: I've seen weirder.
MK: Wait, why didn't that one guy you asked a while ago tell you there was a Chao Transporter here in this hotel?
Shade: These are city folk, Mecha.
MK: Oh.
[they leave the hotel]
Zim: Okay, grey Dark chao thing. Where is the demon-man? I want to give him a piece of my mighty pants!
Shade: Don't worry, Zim.. you'll get your chance.
Chao: Shade, do you really know where Mephiles is?
Shade: Actually.. no. No, I don't. I just know he's here in Station Square.
Dark: I thought he was on Earth? In that building? Y'know, that.. that old one?
Shade: I could have sworn that building was here. In Station Square.
Shadow: Wait, you mean that one building where we found Mephiles?
Shade: Yes.
Shadow: That's on Earth. In New Jersey.
[everyone looks at Shade with exasperation]
MK: Great. How are we supposed to get to Earth?
TD: That depends. What planet are we on NOW?
Shade: Some people say it's Mobius, while others say it's Earth. Either way, it's not the Earth that we want.
MK: Then how do we get to the Earth that we want?
Shade: ...let's ask some locals.
[they walk up to some random guy]
Shade: Excuse me, sir?
Man: Yup?
Shade: How do we get to Earth?
Man: The real one?
Chao: No, the one we just made up.
[Shade hits Chao]
Shade: Yes, the real one.
Man: Oh, uh.. I don't know, but.. I know a guy who DOES.
Shade: Anything'll help.
Man: Alright. There's a record store downtown.. an old-school record store owned by a Mister Pirkle. Real name.
TD: This "Mister Pirkle..." he didn't happen to be mayor of any town, did he?
Dark: lolurfbownd
Man: I don't believe so. I dunno. He might have been. Anyway, the record store is called "One for the Vinyl."
Shade: Ooh, I'm liking that name. Thanks for the tip, dude!
Man: Uh-huh.
[they walk away]
[pause]
[they come back]
Shade: Which way is downtown?
Man: That-a way, little man.
Shade: Thanks!
[they hurry down that-a way]
[somewhere down the line, their hurrying is hindered by a horrendously huge helter skelter]
[the helter skelter had fallen down onto the road, blocking passage; a detour must be taken]
Shade: Hold on, guys. Imma gunna ask a policeman where the detour goes.
[Shade asks a policeman where the detour goes]
Shade: ...deep into the wrong side of downtown. The catacombs, you could say.
Dark: The kind of place where every street looks the same, and unsuspecting tourists get lost and eventually die?
Shade: Yep, that kind of place.
Chao: Oh, I'm sure it won't be that bad.
[the camera pans upward, showing a bird's-eye shot of the downtown district]
[it's miles and miles and miles of endless street mazes]
TO BE CONTINUED
Dark Chao Adventures
Adventuring since 2005.
Episode Sixty-Nine: The Super-Long and Super-Exciting Quest
The story resumes in Station Square.
[the chao are walking down a long, winding road]
Dark: Ugh... Shade... how much longer until we get there?
Shade: I.. I don't know, buddy.
[they turn through various streets, and see all the same buildings and all the same cars]
Chao: You idiot, I think we're lost.
Shade: Hey, you're the one who said it wouldn't be that bad.
Chao: ...shut up.
MK: Hey, wait a minute.. why don't I just fly us there? I mean, I've got a flying ability.
GIR: HEY so do I!
Shadow: Wait, why didn't you guys bring this up when we needed to get to Prison Island?
MK+GIR: We.... forgot!
Shade: Alright, fine, fly us.
[so Mecha and GIR fly them into the air]
Shade: Okay.. everyone, look for a shop called "One for the Vinyl."
Dark: Is that it down there? The shop with the giant vinyl record on top?
Shade: ...probably. Let's go down and check.
[Mecha and GIR fly them down to the shop]
[the camera shows a dramatic shot of them standing in front of an old, run-down building]
["One for the Vinyl" is written on the front]
TO BE CONTINUED...
Shade: Wait, is this episode REALLY that short?
TD: Yep. It's a true filler episode.
Shade: ****, man. I didn't think DJay could ever make an episode shorter than episode two.
Chao: I think that was the whole point-- he's making references to older episodes.
Shade: Well... damn! See you guys later, then.
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