Future Warfare

PREVIOUSLY ON THE SHOW WITH THE 'TUDE, DCA:
[Note: None of the following lines were actually said. They're just here for drama.]
[cut to Shadow, Shade, Dark, and Red in a Fiat Panda]
Shadow: We've gotta go WHERE?
Shade: Novella Prospekt. It's like a prison, only worse.
[clips of the chao driving along the highway, fighting off robot Dark chao]
Rebel (Voice-Over): They're called "Chaobine." They're the Badnik SWAT team.
[clips of Shadow fighting the three Antlion Guards]
Shade: Nice, kid. Guess you proved you can handle yourself out there.
[clips of Shadow leading the antlion fleet]
Shadow: ONWARD!
[clips of the chao and the antlions assaulting Novella Prospekt]
Shade: C'mon. Future me's awaiting us at the train depot.


DARK CHAO ADVENTURES
Season Seven: The End
Episode Sixty-Two: Still Waiting for Half-Time Part Four: Chao of Duty (Future Warfare)


[cut to a static shot of a prison hallway]
[gunshots are heard in the distance]
["Still Waiting for Half-Time" appears at the center of the screen]
[the logo then blows up, and is replaced by "CHAO OF DUTY: FUTURE WARFARE 2 LOL"]
["New Game" "Load Game" "Options" "Quit" appear below the title]
[a mouse cursor clicks "Load Game," then "Save Game 01"]
Chapter 9a: (ACT I) Entangled up in Blue
[cut to the train depot in Novella Prospekt]
[Shadow, Shade, Dark and Red walk along as trains whiz past]
?: Hey, you made it!
[in comes the Future Shade (Shade with a cowboy hat, shotgun, and stubble)]
Shadow: Of course. You told us to come, and we had nothing else to do.
ShadeF: Ah, yes... I remember. This is the part where you got guts.
Shade: Yeah, I've been teaching him how to be cool.
ShadeF: Not a bad job, kiddo.
Shadow: Alright, now are we gonna get a move on, or what?
ShadeF: Fine, fine. Come on.
[Future Shade leads them to an elevator; they ride it]
ShadeF: I'm afraid I'm flying blind here.
Red: What do you mean?
ShadeF: Well, every now and again, a Xenomorph'll give us info on this place, but.. we still don't know much about it.
Shadow: Hm, well, I suppose we'll just have to find out about it, then, huh?
ShadeF: *chuckle* I guess so.
[the elevator reaches the top; Chaobine Guard Soldier People are ready to fight n' whatnot]
[budda budda budda]
[Future whatsisname leads them to an odd room]
[Badnik technology fills the walls]
ShadeF: Okay, let me take a look at this...
[he pushes some buttons and pulls some levers]
[suddenly, a window opens up, and they see thousands and thousands of pods in the distance]
Shadow: What the heck...?
ShadeF: Wait a second... I've got an idea. *pushes s'more buttons*
[one random pod is lifted up by machines and taken to them]
[it opens up, and Future Cham is inside!]
ChamF: Ugh... Shade? Shade? Shadow? Dark? Red? What are you doing here?
ShadeF: We're here to save you, dude.
ChamF: It's not worth the risk! You have to get out of here! Save yourselves!
ShadeF: No! I've been talking with Mister Prower, and he's calibrated his portal and stuff, and...
ChamF: Well... okay, but I'm not leaving without Purflee!
ShadeF: We'll find her. Don't worry. I'll send you to the teleport chamber. See you there.
[he presses some buttons; Cham's pod closes, and he is taken away]
ShadeF: Alright, you four. I'm gonna look for a security station. Here's a radio. *gives Shadow a radio*
Shadow: Where are we supposed to go?
ShadeF: Just keep moving through this place. I'll meet up with you later. I have my own stuff to take care of.
Shadow: But... to where?
ShadeF: Go.. um... I dunno. To the teleport chamber, wherever the heck THAT is. Good luck!
[Future Shade runs off]
Shadow: Great. We're lost in a robotnicized prison about thirty-odd years in the future.
Shade: Ah, get over yourself, kid. Just pretend you have seven HP left, or something. Now, let's look around.
[they look around, and quickly find a closed gate]
ShadeFRadio: Hold up, guys. You at a gate yet?
Shadow: Affirmative.
ShadeFR: Okay, well... I found a security station. Let's see if I can't......
[the gate opens]
ShadeFR: Ah-ha!
Shadow: Alright, thank you.
[they move on, fight some soldiers, then find ANOTHER gate]
ShadeFR: Another gate? Okay, hang on.
[pause]
ShadeFR: Hrm. It's kinda jammed. Gimme a sec.
[soldiers arrive]
Shadow: Uh-oh. Hurry up, Shade!
[budda budda budda]
ShadeFR: Got it! Gate's open.
[they dash through, and keep going through the hallways]
Red: Man, for a Robotnicized prison, it sure is much more BORING than the rest of the prison.
Shade: I guess Eggman doesn't like STYLE.
ShadeFR: *chuckle* Good one. Alright, listen, you're coming up to a security station. It's still occupied.
[Shadow points at Red and Dark, then at the station ahead]
[Red and Dark nod their heads, then dash in, guns blazing]
[Shade and Shadow follow]
Shadow: Hm. Pretty nice station. ...hm. Future Shade?
ShadeFR: Yep?
Shadow: It appears the path ahead is blocked by a forcefield. Mind takin' it down?
ShadeFR: Can do.
[pause]
ShadeFR: ...CAN'T do. Not from here. I'll have to come over there and take it down.
Red: Couldn't you just tell US how to do it?
ShadeFR: Yeah, but that's not as fun. ..crap, a LOT of Chaobine soldiers comin' your way!
Shade: What do you want us to do about 'em?
ShadeFR: There should be two turrets you can set up in there. ...set 'em up. I'll be there shortly, over and out.
Shadow: Alright, let's set up these turrets at the two exits.
[they do that]
Shadow: Now Shade, Dark, you two cover THIS exit; Red and I'll cover THAT one.
[they do that, too]
[in come the soldiers, one by one]
Dark: Funny. "One by one" is also how they die.
[Future Shade comes in after about a minute of these boring theatrics]
ShadeF: Right, I'm here. What'd you want? Forcefield deactivation? Kay-o.
[he messes with the consoles (oh, and the soldiers stopped coming)]
ShadeF: ...hm? Guys.
[the chao surround the monitor (another thing I forgot to mention)]
[on the monitor is Purflee, somewhere else in the facility, talking to the camera?]
PFF: ..I'm not calling about that. You promised you weren't going to touch Cham.
[another voice is heard-- that of Doctor Eggman]
Egg: The Chaobine were a bit overzealous, I admit, but he was too big a prize to ignore in the absense of Shadow Raid.
PFF: You would have gotten Shadow had you waited for my signal, like I asked.
Egg: Well, we weren't sure if you'd go through with that.
PFF: Doctor Robotnik...
Egg: This is not open to debate, Purflee.
PFF: Doctor--
Egg: So sorry, but I'm out of time.
[the monitor switches off]
Shadow: ...damn. What a twist, huh?
ShadeF: I can't believe it.
Shade: It's been a while since you last played Half-Life 2, hasn't it?
ShadeF: Kinda. It came out over thirty years ago, you know.
Shade: Oh, yeah.
ShadeF: Anyway, you guys move on. I'll stay here and shut off the security n' whatnot.
[Shadow, Shade, Dark n' Red move on]
[they open a door and head downstairs to a flooded basement]
[Shade sticks out his arm, gesturing for the others to stop]
Shade: Don't touch that water.
Shadow: I'm not gonna ask.
Red: Neither will I.
Shade: In this case, though, we're gonna need you, Shadow.
Shadow: Got it.
[Shadow uses his gravity gun to make a lot of platforms across the water.. and... stuff]
[on the other side, they enter yet ANOTHER hallway]
Dark: So many hallways.
Red: It's like a maze of hallways.
[SUDDENLY, the lights go out]
All: Uh-oh.
[red flares are set off further ahead]
Shadow: Arm yourselves, guys.
[Chaobine soldiers try to ambush our 'heroes,' but are quickly SMITTEN DOWN TO DA GROUND]
Dark: You can't kill the metal. The metal will live on.
[they move onward, and find a cell block]
Red: Finally, normal prison stuff.
[deserted, of course]
Red: Good enough.
[they head into a small security station]
[three turrets are there]
ShadeFR: Hey, guys? I'd recommend you set up those turrets you found. Soldiers are coming from all directions.
Shadow: Sure, we'll do that.
[they do that]
[a few soldiers come in and attack]
[they are quickly held back]
ShadeFR: Alright, I'm gonna come to your position. Hold 'em back a little bit longer, okay?
Shadow: Okey-dokey. See ya then.
[it's sooooooo boring... they fight off such small numbers]
[Future Shade arrives to find all four of them asleep]
ShadeF: Well, I'll be. Sleeping on the job, are you?
Red: Uhh.... wow, I guess we were. Hey, guys, wake up.
[they wake up]
Shadow: Oh, I was just having the most wonderful dream...
Shade: What happened in it?
Shadow: It turns out we were just playing this on a computer.
ShadeF: Alright, c'mon, let's go.
[they find another monitor thingy; Future Shade messes with it]
[on the monitor is Purflee in a small room]
ShadeF: There she is.
[he messes with stuff more, and ends up trapping her in the room she's in]
ShadeF: Let's go cross-examine her.
[they walk into the room she's in]
PFF: Sh-Shade?
ShadeF: Whassup? What's up with you and the Egghead?
PFF: I.. I don't know what you mean.
ShadeF: 'Course you do. That monitor's got a built-in camera, you know. Captures your every move.
PFF: Ack! ..It's impossible to lie to you.
ShadeF: Thirty years of experience, ma'am. Now, tell me... what's going on?
PFF: I've..... sorta been working as a mole for Eggman.
ShadeF: Hm. Mole for Eggman, meaning trying to deceive HIM, or US?
PFF: Him, I swear!
ShadeF: Alright. Come on, everyone.
Shadow: Where are we going now?
ShadeF: Out of Novella Prospekt.
Red: How are we gonna get out of THIS place?
ShadeF: The same way Cham will.
[Future Shade leads them through a door and into a giant chamber]
[in the middle of the chamber is a huge machine]
ShadeF: We're teleporting out.
[the chao look at each other for a second]
Shadow: ...okay, let's do it, then.
PFF: I've already warmed the teleporter up for Cham.
ShadeF: That's good. Speaking of, he should be getting here soon.
[a machine carries a pod into the room]
ShadeF: Yup, there he is now.
[the pod is carried into the teleporter]
[Future Shade walks over to a console, and fiddles about]
[Tails' voice is heard on a radio]
TailsR: Shade, is everything ready?
ShadeF: All set. You?
TailsR: Everything is in order.
ShadeF: Sweet. Then let's do it.
[he turns to look at the teleporter; Purflee has entered it with Cham, and sealed herself in]
ShadeF: Wha?!
PFF: I'm sorry, Shade. It's for the best.
ShadeF: NO!
[the teleporter activates]
[the room flashes and... yaddayadda]
[ZZZZAP!]
[Purflee and Cham have now been teleported]
[Future Shade stands and stares for a bit before running back to the console]
ShadeF: I can't believe it...
TailsR: Can't believe what? What's happening?
ShadeF: Holy Sham-Wow... what coordinates are THESE?
[the other chao run over to look at them]
ShadeF: Kids, I think it's time to fear the worst.
[suddenly, they hear someone banging on the door]
ShadeF: ****! ****!!! The Chaobine have found us!
Dark: What do we do, what do we do, what do we do?!
ShadeF: Uhh.. uhhh... Mister Prower, you're still ready for us?
TailsR: Of course.
ShadeF: Then we're still teleporting out.
[he hits a button]
ShadeF: Ohhh, but it's gonna take a while for it to warm up!
[he looks around the room]
[he sees some turrets]
ShadeF: There! Turrets! Set 'em up, guys!
[the chao set up the three turrets around the room]
Shade: Now, if my Half-Life 2 memory is fully functional, we've got three turrets and four entrances.
Shadow: Well, if my RECENT memory is fully functional, then these "ambushes" are really easy.
Shade: Exactly. We'll be fine--
[BASH! The door is broken open, and in floods THOUSANDS of Chaobine soldiers!]
[the turrets are destroyed within seconds]
ShadeF: Ah, I never thought I'd get to use this...
[Future Shade pulls out his shotgun, and performs a crazy maneuver, blasting in every conceivable direction]
[the entire room is instantly filled with dead soldiers]
ShadeF: Peace o' cak--
[BASH! In comes an antlion GUARD!]
Shadow: I REALLY hate the Veteran's Committee.
[Shadow and the Guard lock eyes]
[the Guard snorts and prepares to charge]
ShadeF: Kid. Take it. Now.
[Future Shade hands Shadow his shotgun]
[Shadow cocks it, and the Guard charges]
[right before it strikes him, he fires the gun once]
[the Guard's corpse collapses and flies to the wall behind Shadow]
Shadow: Teleporter. Now.
Red: But it's not ready yet!
ShadeF: You heard the kid. Into the teleporter!
[they enter the teleporter, and press a button]
[the machine seems to not want to activate]
[BAAAASH! More Chaobine soldiers enter]
Red: Wait, those don't look anything like the ones we're used to.
ShadeF: ....no way, can't be.
Shadow: Can't be what? What are they?
ShadeF: Chaobine Elites, based on the Dark Ch--
[VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR]
[ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZSHOOOOOOOOOAAAAOOOOOSSSHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOZZZZZZZZZOOOOMMMMMM]
[everything goes black]
[all that is heard is Shadow's heavy breathing]
[pause]
[VAM]
[they find themselves back in Tails' lab, back in the city]
ShadeF: *pant* Whoo, I think we.. I think we made it.
Shadow: But, where's Mister Prower? I thought he knew we were coming.
Dark: Maybe Half-Life 2: Episode Three just came out.
[Shade bursts out with laughter]
Shade: Nice, dude.
[they enter the next room, and come face-to-face with a shotgun-- a shotgun held by Tails]
Tails: Sh..Shadow? Shade? Other guys? I had almost given up hope!
Shadow: Calm down, Mister Prower. For a second there, I thought we wouldn't make it, either.
ShadeF: Yeah, it felt like the teleporter freakin' blew up...
Tails: It did.
ShadeF: ..oh.
Tails: Yes, it certainly did, and its repurcussions were felt worldwide! But... that was a week ago!
ShadeF: A WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
[Dark's jaw drops to the floor]
Red: But.. but we were just there a few seconds ago...
Tails: Fascinating... we seem to have developed a slow teleport! This calls for a new line of investigation.
Shadow: A week? What have we missed?
Tails: Eh, not much. The explosion at Novella Prospekt was taken as a signal to begin the uprising.
Shadow: ...oh.
Tails: Yeah, war on the streets, urban warfare, new badniks, State of Emergency.. you didn't miss that much.
Shade: War broke out?
Tails: War broke out.
Shade: Still going?
Tails: Yeah. You can still get some action.
Shade: Yes!
ShadeF: So.. what happened to Cham?
Tails: That is most disturbing. According to our Xenomorph friends, he has been taken to the Egg Citadel.
Shadow: ...so.... rescue mission?
Tails: Indeed. In fact, Red--the one from our time-- has gone off with that very purpose in mind.
Shade: Sweet. We can catch up with him.
[suddenly, a monitor turns on; the future Red is on it]
RedF: Doc? You there?
Tails: Oh, speak of the devil! Red, I have good news! The boys are back in town!
Red: The boys are back in town?
Tails: The boys are back in town!
Red: The boys are back in town! That's wonderful! We could use 'em here. We're about to stage our assault on the Egg Citadel.
Shade: We'll get there, man! We'll give you some back-up.
Red: Much obliged.
ShadeF: Listen, you guys go on by yourselves for a bit; I've got to stay here with Mister Prower for a bit.
Shadow: You'll catch up later, though, right?
ShadeF: Of course. I wouldn't miss this for the world.
Red: Alright, well... I gotta go. INCOMING!
[bzzzzrt]
[the screen shuts off]
ShadeF: You guys had better get goin', then. I'll catch up; I promise.
[the fearsome foursome head out of the lab, and down an elevator shaft]
Chapter 10: (ACT II) Anticitizen Kane
[Shadow, Shade, Dark and Red head out the door to the streets]
[the time is about.. five-thirty, maybe six in the afternoon]

"Uprising 101"
(Day 3- 17:54:06)
(Red a.k.a "Redd Fox")
(District 14)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Find Future Red}
{Regroup with Future Shade}
{Learn the basics of fighting in the Uprising}

[they walk along for a bit and suddenly an Egg APC (Armored Patrol Car) drives by!]
Shade: ****, and there's no Dog here...
Shadow: Wait, so.. can't we just fight them?
Shade: .....actually, that's not such a bad idea.
[budda budda budda]
[they carry on past a big Badnik Wall and into the plaza outside the train station]
[in the plaza, some rebel chao are tipping over a spire with one of Eggman's monitors on it]
[they tip it over, and it blows up]
[they cheer]
Rebel1: HEY! It's the One Free Raid!
Rebel2: Wait up, Shadow; I'm comin' with ya!
[the whole squadron of three rebel chao join our heroes]
Shadow: ..what just happened?
Shade: You got a squad following you now. You can send them wherever the heck you want.
Shadow: Hmm.... go over there!
[the squad goes over there]
Shadow: Now come back here!
[they come back here]
Shadow: Sweet. Do they ever talk?
Rebel3: Sometimes I dream of cheese.
Shadow: Never mind. Let's... get moving.
[they move down an alleyway]
[Shade stops them]
Shade: Hold on... see that red light?
Shadow: Yeah.. what IS that?
Shade: Egg Hopper.
Shadow: What's it do?
Shade: It hops.
Shadow: Oh.
Shade: ...and it blows up.
Shadow: OH. How do we dodge it?
Shade: Gravity gun.
[Shadow gravitifies that sucker]
[they move through the alleyway, dealing with whatever Egg Hoppers they find until they reach an uphill street]
[up the street is a Chaobine barricade, complete with turrets]
[also up the street, before the barricade, are tons of potholes and rubble, making it impossible to traverse]
Shade: I'll let you take care of this one, Green One.
[Shadow analyzes the situation]
Shadow: ...guys, see that building across the street?
Dark: Pfft, yeah. We're not BLIND.
Shadow: Well, we've gotta get there. Maybe there's a way up the street from there.
Red: That's a sound idea. Let's try it.
Shadow: Glad you think so. Ready?
[they run across the street, and are instantly shot at by the barricade]
[cut to the building across the street]
[six chao enter]
Shadow: Ugh... well, that was much more firepower than I had assumed.
Dark: *cough cough* Never... never assume, dude...... ow...
Shade: He has a point. If you ARE gonna assume in a situation like this, then assume the worst.
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Learn the basics of fighting in the Uprising}

"You and Me and Uma Thurman"
(Day 3- 18:04:58)
(Adrian Benjamin Ruthford a.k.a "Jack White")
(District 13)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Find Future Red}
{Regroup with Future Shade}
{Assault the Chaobine barricade up the street}

Rebel2: Shadow Raid, sir?
Shadow: Yeah?
Rebel2: I.. think we lost Hendrix.
Shadow: Oh, right, I never got your names! Uh.. which one was Hendrix?
Rebel3: "Rebel1."
Shadow: Oh, darn. So, who are YOU two?
Rebel2: I'm White.
Rebel3: And I'm Jovi.
White: Code names, of course.
Shadow: Alright, cool. Jovi, could you scout ahead and see what's in this building?
Jovi: Sure thing, Raid.
[Jovi heads around a corner]
[pause]
Jovi: CHAOBINE OH SHI--
[budda budda budda]
Shadow: *sigh* White, you think you can deal with those Chaobine?
White: Of course.
[White takes care of the soldiers]
Shadow: Alright, well, we're probably gonna need codenames, too. I'm Shadow Raid, as usual.
Shade: I call Solid Shade.
Red: No, man, you need a REAL code name. One that you can say without your real name, and "Solid" doesn't count.
Shade: Fine, fine, I'm Peter Greybriel.
Red: I'm Redd Fox.
Dark: Just call me Duke Nukem.
Shade: Hmm... maybe "Peter Greybriel's" kinda silly.
Duke: What was your first clue?
Shade: ..call me Mycroft Holmes.
Raid: Okay, sweet, we've all got our codenames, then. White, status report!
White: Jovi's dead, and there's another door in this building that leads further up the street.
Raid: Awesome. Mycroft, Fox, Duke, White... we are now oscar mike.
Duke: lol call of doody
[they head out the next door and find themselves a little further up the street]
Raid: Hmmmm.... ah, another building! In here, guys.
[they enter another building]
Raid: Say, whatever happened to my antlions?
Mycroft: Eh, they're only used in and around Novella Prospekt. Sad, I know.
Raid: Aw. Anyway, Duke! Fox! Check the basement.
Duke+Fox: Got it. *to the basement*
Raid: White, Mycroft, you two come with me up these stairs. I can hear tangos up there.
[they head up the stairs, and approach a door]
Raid: ....yeah, confirmed tangos.
Mycroft: How many?
Raid: A small squadron... I'd say about three or four.
Mycroft: We can take 'em. Who's gonna bust this door down?
White: Allow me, Sarge.
[White steps up to the door and kicks it down]
[Raid and Mycroft hop in and shoot the Chaobine inside]
Raid: ALL CLEAR! White, you check that door! Mycroft, THAT one!
[they split up and check out all the rooms]
[eventually, they regroup, as well as Fox and Duke]
Raid: Report.
Mycroft: Nada.
White: Zilch.
Fox: Nada III.
Duke: I found a supply crate.
Raid: Ah, we don't need those. We're fine the way we are.
[they hear noises coming from a monitor]
Raid: Huh?
[the monitor flickers Eggman's face a couple of times]
Egg: Y......er.............eo....et....on..........rep...
[it repeats endlessly]
Raid: Strange.
Fox: Raid, I think we'd best move on for now. We can worry about herr Doktor later.
Raid: Good point. Let's go.
[they enter another door, and see a hole in the floor]
Duke: Ooh! I wanna scout ahead this time!
Raid: Be my guest.
[Duke hops down the hole]
Duke: CLEAR, save for two turrets facing the other way!
Raid: I got 'em. C'mon.
[the rest of them hop down the hole, and Raid uses his gravity gun to boot the turrets through a window]
Raid: Hmmm...
[through the window is the very top of the street, just in front of the barricade]
Raid: We need to get around that barriade somehow... any ideas?
Mycroft: Try the other side of the street.
Raid: The other side of the street?
[on the other side of the street is another building they can enter]
Raid: Wilco. Onward, soldiers.
[they dash across and make it to the building]
White: Ugh... those.. those gunners are getting pretty painful.
Raid: Don't worry, White. You'll get yours in a moment. For now, up the stairs, guys.
[they head up the stairs, and deal with a Chaobine soldier or two]
[White finds health, and they all find a hole in the ground that leads to the other side of the barricade]
Raid: Alright, here's the plan... Duke Nukem, I want you to do what you're best at.
Duke: Sweeeeet.
Raid: Mycroft, if you want, you can back him up.
Mycroft: Fine by me.
Raid: White, you'll be in the back, but you've gotta focus on the gunners.
White: With pleasure.
Raid: Fox, if you'd like, you can sit this one out.
Fox: That sounds pretty nice, actually. I'll stay back here and toss health if you guys ever need it.
Raid: Sounds like a plan, then. Let's go.
[they charge out in a squad of four, tactfully taking care of the Chaobine]
[..except Duke, who just charges out and blasts everyone he sees]
[using this hybrid of tactics and RAWR, they easily deal with the barricade]
Raid: Fox, c'mon, we're oscar mike again!
Fox: Got it!
[Fox regroups with them, and they move up some stairs into another building]
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Assault the Chaobine barricade up the street}
{NEW OBJECTIVE- Fight through the apartments}
[they deal with whatever soldiers are up here]
Raid: Moving on. C'mon, onwards! Lot of ground to cover.
[they head down a lot of stairs]
[down the stairs is a long hallway-- AMBUSH!]
[budda budda budda]
Raid: Keep it going. Nothin' to see here.
[up some more stairs-- budda budda, more boring hallways and soldiers]
[down more stairs-- budda budda, zombies and hallways]
[they make it outside into the center of the apartment complex]
Raid: Hm. We can't move on due to a cage over the next door.
White: Raid, sir, how about that staircase leading down to what is presumably an underground underpass?
Raid: ...good idea.
[they head down the stairs]
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Fight through the apartments}

"Drattmannc0meth"
(Day 3- 18:30:00)
(Megan Sherry Bates a.k.a "Lady Gaga")
(Underground Tunnels)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Find Future Red}
{Regroup with Future Shade}
{Traverse the tunnels}

[cut to an underground highway tunnel]
[the chao arrive to find another squad of rebel chao]
Raid: Sweet, reinforcements! Names?
Rebel1: I'm Theodor--
Raid: CODEnames, buddy.
Rebel1: Oh. Then... I'm Van Halen.
Rebel2: John Petrucci's the name.
Rebel3: I'm Lady Gaga.
Rebel4: And I'm Jimmy Page.
Mycroft: Ugh. Hope he dies.
Page: Excuse me?
Mycroft: Oh, just... mumbling to myself. Let's get a move on.
[they move forward, then suddenly are bombarded with manhacks]
Raid: Huh. Haven't seen these guys in a while.
[they destroy the manhacks and move around some rubble]
Fox: The Badniks must have gotten here. Everything's torn apart.
[they move through some narrow corridors n' whatnot]
[they come across a bunch of Chaobine]
Raid: Alright, Halen, Petrucci, Gaga and Page, let's see how good you guys are. Take care of that station.
Page: Gaga, I think you'd better sit this one out.
Gaga: What? Why me?
Page: Well, you're... a girl. This situation calls for boys.
Petrucci: C'mon, Page, you're just jealous 'cause Gaga's a better sharpshooter than you are.
Page: N..no, I'm not!
Raid: Will you guys shut up and take care of the freaking Chaobine already?
Page: Fine...
[the four head out and take care of the soldiers]
[Raid follows them and walks up to a wall of rubble blocking the road ahead]
Raid: Well, ain't THIS just perfect?
?: Hey, is there someone there?
Raid: Uh.. yes, I'm Raid.
?: The One Free Raid?
Raid: That's the one.
?: Listen! We're gonna plant some charges and blow this rubble up! But, it may take a while, so.. be patient.
Raid: Can do.
[they sit around for a bit, waiting for the people on the other side to blow the rubble up]
Raid: So, Petrucci, what's the scoop between Page and Gaga?
Petrucci: Oh, well, as I said, Page is jealous 'cause he wants to be the best sharpshooter... and he's not.
Raid: Gaga took the title away from him?
Petrucci: Yep.
Page: Guys, I'm right here.
Raid: Congratulations. Would you like a medal?
?: Alright! Alright, we've planted the charges! Stand back!
[they stand back]
[...BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!]
[the rubble is cleared]
[on the other side is a medic]
Raid: Oh, there's only one of you. Codename?
Medic: Robbie Williams.
Mycroft: Ooh, I like this guy.
Duke: Raid!
Raid: Find something, Duke?
Duke: Yeah, there's this little crawlspace right here.
Williams: Oh, that crawlspace heads to the next patch of tunnel, but it's been covered in radiation...
Raid: Leave this one to me, th--
Mycroft: No. Leave it to ME.
Raid: Hm?
Mycroft: I know where to go. That place can kill you if you don't.
Raid: Oh, well, if you really want to go...
Mycroft: I do.
[Mycroft crawls through the space]
Williams: HEY! Try to get us out of here, too, will ya?
Mycroft: Don't worry, I know what I'm doing.
[he looks around and sees a bunch of broken-down cars sitting in toxic waste]
[he wipes off some sweat, feels the radiation, and hops onto a nearby car]
[he then hops from car to truck to car to car to random crate to pipe to whacking headcrabs to car to other pipe]
[he climbs up the pipe, and into a vent]
[the vent takes him to a long corridor]
[he goes to one end of the corridor and opens a door, which leads to the room the others are in]
Mycroft: Piece of cake. Let's go.
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Traverse the tunnels}

"The Only Easy Day Was Pancake Day"
(Day 3- 18:47:29)
(Robert Truman a.k.a "Brian May")
(Apartment Complexes District 9)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Find Future Red}
{Regroup with Future Shade}
{Fight through the complexes}

[the gang emerges next to a DIFFERENT set of apartments]
Halen: Crap! They're shelling us!
[a metal shell falls from the sky and lands on top of Jimmy Page]
[headcrabs jump out and are quickly killed]
Gaga: They.. they got Page.
Raid: ..damn.
Fox: Guys, I think we'd best keep going. I mean, we've still got a ways to go, don't we?
Raid: F..Fox is right. We need to keep moving, and waiting around's only gonna bring in more enemies.
White: Well, I'm ready to roll when you are, Raid.
Raid: Good. Let's move on, then.
[they move on, and encounter a locked door]
Petrucci: Oh, hold on. *knock knock*
?: What's the password?
Petrucci: If you don't shut your damn piehole, I will shoot you in your left mouth.
?: Correct.
[the door opens; another rebel awaits them]
?: 'Sup, Petrucci?
Petrucci: Hey, May. Mind if we come in?
May: No, go right ahead. HEY, EVERYONE! We got visitors!
[they enter the building and find it to be some sort of rebel refugee.. place]
[Petrucci steps to the center of the room; everyone slowly starts looking at him]
Petrucci: Listen, everyone.. this will be the last day in the Uprising.
[the crowd gives off confused murmurs]
Petrucci: Shadow Raid has returned.
[cheer]
[Raid takes the stage]
Raid: Uh.. hello. I'm Shadow Raid.
[cheeeeer]
Raid: You may not believe this, but.. I came here from the past to overthrow Herr Doktor.
[Booooo]
Raid: Yeah, he sucks. I know. Anyway, I'm running a siege on the Egg Citadel.
[cheer]
Raid: I'm gonna let my advisor, Mycroft Holmes, explain to you the details.
Mycroft: Thanks, Shadow Raid. Hello. I'm Mycroft. I used to be the famous one.
["Huh?" "Don't recognize him." "Ringing no bells."]
Mycroft: *sigh* Yeah. Well, according to my calculations, we should be able to reach the Egg Citadel in a couple hours.
Raid: Really? We're THAT close?
Mycroft: Yeah.
Raid: Oh, awesome. It looks so far.
Mycroft: That's just because it's so freaking tall.
Raid: Right, of course. How hard will it be to get to the top?
Mycroft: Not hard at all. We'll go over this later, dude. You have a speech to give, remember?
Raid: Oh, right, right, yeah. Anyway, to accompany me in this speech...
[the lights go out]
Raid: ON DRUMS! THE BADASS MYCROFT HOLMES!
[a spotlight shows Mycroft at a drumkit]
Raid: ON BASS! THE WITTY REDD FOX!
[a spotlight show Fox holding a bass guitar]
Raid: ON LEAD! THE KILLER DUKE NUKEM!
[a spotlight shows Duke holding a guitar]
Raid: LADIES AND REBELMEN, I PRESENT TO YOU... RUBBER! GOOSE!
[cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer]
[Duke grabs the microphone]
Duke: 'Sup, everyone... we're Rubber Goose. Joining us today is the Robotnikland 17 Symphony Orchestra.
[in comes the squad of rebels (like Jack White, John Petrucci, etc) holding string instruments]
Duke: And we have a very special guest tonight, who will be singing this piece with me... please welcome Shadow Raid.
[Raid steps up to the microphone again]
[the crowd goes wild; Duke gestures for them to calm down]
Duke: Raid has told you the basics. The Egg Citadel's gotta go down. But first, we need an army.
Raid: A BIG one.
Duke: So, to help you guys decide whether or not to enlist in our squadron... we wanted to play this song.
[ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x29TGL71pv4 ]

[instantly the drums play an upbeat tempo as the guitar plays alongside the string instruments and..
you know what? Why don't you just listen to the damn song? xD]

Duke+Raid: Whooooaoooaooooooah! Whoooaooooooohhhhhhoooh! Whooooaooooaooooooaoooooah!

(Raid is singing most of the lyrics; the ones in parentheses are sung by Duke)
Raid: Hey all! (Hey all!)
Welcome to the greatest storm.
I know! (I know!)
You have waited much too long..
And I! (And I!)
I will be your shining star!
I'm here! (I'm here!)
Here to conquer here! And! Far!

Raid: Like the sun (The sun!), I run (I run!)!
Both: Into the heat of day!
Raid: Like a knight (A knight!), I fight (I fight!)!
Until the fight is woooooon...

(Here, everyone sings along, with Duke singing the backups)
All: In a rage (A rage!), I slay (I slay!)..
Raid: Each and every,
Duke: Each and every,
Both: Each and everyone..
Raid: 'Till this war is won!

Raid: And I live! To rule!
Duke: By the sword..
Raid: Slashing through the every inch of the power,
Duke: The power in you!

Raid: As I sit!
Duke: As I stand!
Raid: By the table I command!
Both: My kingdom...

Raid: I'm a Kniiiiiight of the Wind.

Duke+Raid: Whooooaoooaooooooah! Whoooaooooooohhhhhhoooh! Whooooaooooaooooooaoooooah!

Raid: Hey all! (Hey all!)
Welcome to the end is near.
I know! (I know!)
I will bring you pain! And! Fear!

Raid: On the ground (On the ground!), to the sky (To the sky!)!
Both: Face with you and I!
Raid: In a flash (In a flash!), I'm gone (I'm gone!)!
Both: Holding your crown high

All: In a rage (A rage!), I slay (I slay!)..
Raid: Each and every,
Duke: Each and every,
Both: Each and everyone..
Raid: 'Till this war is won!

Raid: And I live! To rule!
Duke: By the sword..
Raid: Slashing through the every inch of the power,
Duke: The power in you!

Raid: As I sit!
Duke: As I stand!
Raid: By the table I command!
Both: My kingdom...

Raid: I'm a Kniiiiiight of the Wind...
I'm a Knight of the Wind.
I'm a Knight of the Wind!

Duke: Our castle is a massive force!
Fox: A stronghold of power!
Mycroft: My armor stays unbreakable!
All: In battle every hour!

[Duke's guitar solo, followed by..]
[Duke's WTF this is a freaking SONIC song, what's THAT doing in there? solo]

All: Whooooaoooaooooooah! Whoooaooooooohhhhhhoooh! Whooooaooooaooooooaoooooah!

Raid: Like the sun (The sun!), I run (I run!)!
Both: Into the heat of day!
Raid: Like a knight (A knight!), I fight (I fight!)!
Until the fight is woooooon...

All: In a rage (A rage!), I slay (I slay!)..
Raid: Each and every,
Duke: Each and every,
Both: Each and everyone..
Raid: 'Till this war is won!

Raid: And I live! To rule!
Duke: By the sword..
Raid: Slashing through the every inch of the power,
Duke: The power in you!

Raid: As I sit!
Duke: As I stand!
Raid: By the table I command!
Both: My kingdom...

Raid: I'm a Kniiiiiight of the Wind.
I'm a Knight of the Wind!
[they finish]
[standing ovation]
Raid: So, who's gonna help us siege the Egg Citadel?
[silence]
May: Uh.. I guess I will.
Petrucci: Sweet, welcome to the squad, May.
Duke: You guys are the worst crowd we've ever had. Where's my trailer?
Raid: Well.. okay, I guess we'll just carry on, then.
[they go through the next set of apartments, hopping through broken floors, fighting zombies and killing Chaobine]
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Fight through the complexes}

"Took You Long Enough"
(Day 3- 19:01:40)
(Shade the Dark, Future, a.k.a "Slenderchao")
(District 8)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Find Future Red}
{Regroup with Future Shade}

[they enter a room and are greeted by two turrets]
[Raid quickly shuts them down with his gravity gun]
[a door on the other side is kicked down... by Future Shade, leading his own little squad]
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Regroup with Future Shade}
ShadeF: Well, lookie what we have here. Told you I'd meet up with you guys.
Raid: Looks like you followed through, sarge.
ShadeF: Kid, for now, just call me "Slenderchao."
Raid: Cool. I assume you know all of OUR nicknames?
Slender: Of course. I've been hearing of your adventures. You impress me, Shadow Raid.
Mycroft: What about me, dude?
Slender: Mister Holmes, you always impressed me. After all... you're ME.
Mycroft: Oh, sweet.
Slender: Anyway, c'mon, we've got a lot of work to do.
[Slenderchao leads them down some stairs and to a console]
Slender: Apparently, there's some kind of generator in the plaza below.
Raid: A generator? What does it fuel?
Slender: It fuels a forcefield that prevents us from moving on.
Raid: So... how do we shut it off?
Slender: You leave that to me. It'll take me a while, though, so.. defend me while I shut it off, kay?
Raid: Can do.
[they head out to the plaza]
[Slenderchao activates a console in the center of the plaza]
Slender: Alright, I'm starting the hack. Cover me.
Raid: Affirmative. C'mon, you heard him; let's set up some cover, guys!
[they set up some cover and wait]
[and wait]
[and wait s'more]
Slender: All done.
Fox: Wow, was that really it?
Raid: I guess we finally got a break.
Slender: That ain't a good thing, kids. 'Specially not in Left 4 Dead, but that's besides the point.
Raid: What are you implying?
Mycroft: My future self is saying that this is a warning that something REALLY bad's coming.
Slender: Pretty much. Then again, I'm not too certain.
Raid: We'll burn that bridge when we get there. C'mon, guys.
[most of the chao move on; Jack White and Slenderchao don't]
White: Now, there's something that's bothering me, Slenderchao...
Slender: Yeah-huh?
White: If you're Mycroft's future self.. then... shouldn't you remember what you've been through, and know what's coming?
Slender: It's a lot more complicated than that, Jack.
White: But am I at least correct? In theory, you SHOULD be able to, right?
Slender: No. You are not correct. In theory, I have no way of knowing what will happen in that boy's future.
White: Wha?
[close-up of Slenderchao]
Slender: In THEORY....... I could MAKE his future.
[He takes one step forward]
White: How.. in the name of jahosephats does that make the SLIGHTEST lick of sense?
Slender: This **** goes far beyond the simple concepts of a meta-show, Jack. It makes perfect sense...
[dramatic camera angles]
Slender: ..once you know the spoilers.
[Slenderchao leaves; Jack White ponders the conversation]

"Residue Processing"
(Day 3- 19:07:10)
(Dark a.k.a "Duke Nukem")
(City Underlevels)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Find Future Red}
{Go through the sewers}

[the chao come across a big gorge in the street, blocking them from progressing]
Slender: Alright, so last I checked, the Red dude you're looking for is on the other side of this trench.
Raid: Awesome. How do we get across?
Slender: You don't. You climb in and explore the sewers. 'S the best way through.
Raid: Oh... I guess we can manage that.
Slender: Sure ya can. Hey, listen, this may be inconvenient for you, but.. I've gotta go.
Raid: Snap, why?
Slender: Gotta make sure Mister Prower is alright in the hiding place I relocated him to.
Raid: Oh, okay... you do that. We'll look for Red.
Slender: I know you will. But, hey.. don't think you won't see me again.
Raid: Of course.
Slender: I'll catch up with ya... I wouldn't miss Eggman's tail getting kicked for the world. I'm out!
[Slenderchao leaves, along with his squad]
Mycroft: There goes the greatest badass who ever lived.
Raid: What about Chuck Norris?
Mycroft: Doesn't hold a candle.
Fox: Captain Falcon?
Mycroft: Pales in comparison.
Duke: Samus Aran?
Mycroft: .......****. I stand corrected.
Raid: Right, what were we thinking? After all, every calender I've ever bought was a Metroid one.
Fox: My desktop background is of Samus in her badass Phazon suit.
Mycroft: Mine's of her in her Zero Suit.
Duke: Mine's of her in her birthday suit.
[they stare at Duke]
Duke: ...NSFW?
Fox: Word.
[they hop into the trench, and into the sewers]
Petrucci: Freakin' smells down here.
Gaga: Get over it, will ya?
Petrucci: *sigh* Fine...
[they traverse through the sewers, fending off many a zombie and alien creature]
[..oh, and Brian May was dragged away by the zombies]
White: I will miss Brian May.
Mycroft: Pfft, I won't.
[they enter a door and find themselves in a very large warehouse]
Raid: Stay alert, everyone. I have a bad feeling about this.
Duke: You have a bad feeling about EVERYTHING.
Fox: Um... no, he doesn't.
Duke: ..oh.
[suddenly, they are surrounded by Chaobine soldiers, but not just ANY soldiers...]
Mycroft: These are... the fabled Dark Chaos Chao.
Raid: I'm sure they're just like all the other robots.
[...they are :P]
Mycroft: Such a shame, too. I've been hoping to be a Chaos Chao some day... I hope they're nothing like THIS.
Fox: Oh, I highly doubt they will be.
Raid: Man, this is a really big warehouse. Where the heck is the door?
Fox: Right in front of you.
Raid: .......huh.
[they open the door]
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Go through the sewers}

Chapter 11: (ACT III) "Stop Following Me"

"Charlie Rescued Me!"
(Day 3- 19:12:54)
(Red, Future a.k.a "Barney Calhoun")
(District 3)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Find Future Red}

[the chao find themselves out on the streets; this district seems to be focused around a building in the center]
Raid: Huh. Next chapter.
Fox: *yawwwwn* That took an extremely long time, didn't it?
Mycroft: What can I say? It's a street war. It's not supposed to be short.
White: Yeah, but those sewers passed by quickly.
Mycroft: Most likely because DJay's getting bored, or thinks the chapter was getting WAY too long.
Duke: Maybe both.
Raid: Hey, guys... stand back. I've got a REALLY bad feeling about this.
Gaga: About what, Raid?
Raid: Shhh...
[along the street leading to the center building is a blue line, obviously of a gun]
Raid: Snipers. Too high to reach.
Duke: Maybe we should get to the top of that center building?
Raid: That is actually a really good idea. Let's do that.
Mycroft: We don't want too many people in the line of fire of those snipers, man. **** would get real awfully fast.
Raid: Hmm... you make a good point. Gaga, Petrucci, White... you're coming with me.
[they carefully head up the street, and enter the center building]
Petrucci: Damn snipers... I could swear they're waiting... gonna pick us off, one by one.
Raid: Calm down, soldier.
Petrucci: We're not safe in here. They.. they're still waiting...
White: Would you chill, John? The game's not over yet.
Petrucci: The game may not be over, but they're still waiting for half-time, then, aren't they?
Raid: *sigh* M'lady, could you stay here with Petrucci and try to calm him down?
Gaga: Sure thing.
Raid: Jack, c'mon, we're gonna look for a way up.
White: What's wrong with the stairs?
[Raid opens the door, and reveals that the stairs leading up have collapsed]
White: Typical.
[Raid leads Jack down into the basement]
[the camera stays with John and Gaga]
Gaga: What's wrong?
Petrucci: I... I don't know. It's all this warfare stuff... I.. I just can't handle it, you know?
Gaga: Oh, John.. I know things may seem apocalyptic and hellbroken, but I assure you... everything's not lost.
Petrucci: How can you be so sure? We're going up against the whole freaking Badnik Empire!
Gaga: I'm sure because we've got Shadow Raid on our side.
Petrucci: Ohhh, I don't see all the hype in that guy.. I mean, what could he POSSIBLY do?
Gaga: Well, first of all, he supposedly came from the past.
Petrucci: Pfft, load of crock.
Gaga: As odd as it may sound... I believe him.
Petrucci: You... you DO?
Gaga: Yeah. He definitely doesn't seem to know much about the Badniks.. I'm certain he's a total outsider.
Petrucci: Now that you mention it, he DOES seem to be going in the direction of the Egg Nexus, completely oblivious...
Gaga: Oh, the Egg Nexus, ****... I had completely forgotten about that.
Petrucci: Still, it proves your point. Go on.
Gaga: Besides being from the past, he was able to escape from the city and to Cham's lab in a few hours.
Petrucci: Well... yeah, that IS pretty amazing.
Gaga: AND, he made it through Ravenholm. Then the highway. Then he was able to destroy Novella Prospekt.
Petrucci: Okay, okay, I get it! You're right. We.. we might just be able to do this.
Gaga: See? Everything's not lost. We have the One Shadow Raid... as well as the Grey One.
Petrucci: W..we have THE Grey One with us?
Gaga: Yeah, that Mycroft Holmes guy.
Petrucci: Huh. I didn't recognize him.
Gaga: Oh, and then there's Slenderchao..
Petrucci: Wait, if Mycroft is the Grey One, then that means Duke Nukem and Redd Fox are......
Gaga: ...huh, I hadn't thought of that. We might just stand more than a chance against Herr Doktor.
Petrucci: Heh, now that you mention it... YES, we DO! Haha! Thanks, ma'am.
Gaga: Anytime.
[Lady Gaga slaps John Petrucci in the face]
Gaga: Now don't you EVER pull that EVER again, you hear me, soldier?
Petrucci: Ow! Alright!
[a door opens in front of them; Raid is there]
Raid: Guys, we found another staircase. Let's go. Petrucci, you up for this?
Petrucci: Yeah, I'm thrilled.
[they head up the stairs to the top floor]
[Future Red is there]
RedF: Hey, Raid! Could you.. give me a little help?
Raid: Sure, with the snipers?
RedF: No, I want to bake a ****ing cake. Just toss some grenades at 'em, man.
Raid: Got it. White, you take that sniper over there. Gaga, take the one opposite me. Petrucci?
Petrucci: It's fine. I can do this. I've calmed down.
Raid: Good, so you can take that sniper opposite White's. I'll take this one.
[..and.. they uneventfully throw grenades into the windows the snipers are perched in]
RedF: Thanks, dude.
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE-
Raid: No prob. Now that we've met up, maybe you can tell me how to get to the citadel so we can get there?
RedF: Oh, there's a slight problem with that plan. C'mon. Let's have us one o' them walk-n-talks.
[they go back down the stairs and regroup with the others]
Raid: Alright, what is it we need to know, Red?
RedF: First of all, call me "Barney Calhoun."
Raid: Kay, Barney. What's up?
Barney: You see, up ahead is this big.. bank, or museum, or.. whatever it was, it's gone now. The badniks got to it.
Gaga: Oh, you're talking about THAT, aren't you?
Barney: Yeah, see, they've converted it to the Egg Nexus.
Raid: *gulp* The... Egg Nexus? What is that?
Mycroft: Think of it like this: the Egg Citadel's got the final boss, so the Nexus has the semi-final one.
Raid: Oh. And... and I'm fighting him all by myself?
Mycroft: We'll discuss that later.
Barney: Yeah, but you see... it's not easy to invade. It's gonna require a muli-step invasion.
Mycroft: He's right. It's a freaking ***** to invade. An EPIC *****, mind you, but... still a *****.
Raid: Well, how close are we?
Barney: Right around the corner. C'mon.
Raid: Oh, boy. Okay...
[Barney leads them into a building]
Barney: ...anybody hear a moose?
Fox: No.
Petrucci: Not at all.
Barney: Damn thing still haunts me...

"Egg Nexus: Not By the Hairs on My Chinny-Chin Chin"
(Day 3- 19:26:42)
(Shade the Dark, a.k.a "Mycroft Holmes")
(Egg Nexus exterior, District 2)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Infiltrate and disable the Egg Nexus}

[the chao go up some stairs into a small building]
[they come across a window that reveals a large museum-looking building, with a big roof and huge courtyard in front]
Barney: There you have it, Raid. The Egg Nexus.
Raid: Whoa. Well, we may as well plan the raid out now. How are we gonna do this?
Mycroft: Breaking in will be easy. Just follow us.
Barney: Yeah, but when we're in there... shutting things down may be difficult.
Mycroft: Then, once we've shut things down, we should have roof access.
Raid: Why do we want roof access?
Barney: It's, like... something to do with reinforcements.
Raid: Oh.
Mycroft: Of course, once the Egg Nexus is shut down, you can bet this square will be teeming with soldiers.
Barney: Ah, yes. Eggman won't take too kindly to shutting down this stronghold.
Raid: It won't be too bad, though, right, Mycroft?
Mycroft: WELLLLL......
Raid: Is it harder than the Antlion Guards?
Mycroft: Con.....siiiiiderably.
Raid: ****. Will I be on my own?
Mycroft: Like I said, we'll discuss that later. For now, let's stick to discussing the outline of the plan.
Raid: Right. So, once we get roof access, then what?
Mycroft: Well, while you're trying to get the access, Barney over here will press on ahead to the next district.
Barney: District 1.
Raid: District ONE?! We're THAT close?
Mycroft: Yeah, but it's a heavily-guarded district, you know.
Raid: So... once I've got roof access, I'll have to fight my way out of the Egg Nexus and to District 1 where we'll regroup?
Barney: Pretty much. Once we've regrouped, we'll find a way into the Egg Citadel.
Raid: Okay, so that's it? We can do this!
[Mycroft shakes his head]
Mycroft: Love your enthusiasm, kid, but this is arguably the hardest part of the game, right here. Wellll....
Raid: Well?
Mycroft: It's debatable, but some say the Nexus is the hardest part, while most say the part AFTER it is.
Raid: District 1?
Mycroft: The journey TO District 1.
Raid: Hm. Well, we'll burn that bridge when we get there. We've gotten this far. Nowhere to go but forward.
Mycroft: That's the spirit. You ready to go?
Raid: Hell yes.
Barney: Then everybody, take your last bathroom breaks or whatever.
[Barney loads his weapon]
Barney: We're beginning the assault.
[everyone takes care of their last bathroom break or whatever, then gathers in the next room]
Barney: Okay. Mycroft and I will take point until we get to the building.
Mycroft: White, come on up here. You're pairing with Raid for this.
White: Alright.
Mycroft: Petrucci, you and Gaga stick behind Raid and White. Back them up at all costs.
Gaga: Roger that, chief.
Mycroft: Fox, Duke, take the caboose. Take any stragglers. Two by two, everybody!
[a camera spots them]
Barney: ****, so much for stealth; we've been spotted!
Mycroft: Let's go! Stick together!
[they head down some stairs and to a street in front of the Egg Nexus' courtyard]
Mycroft: Oh, one more thing--
[OMG WTF LAZER HAX]
Raid: WHAT THE **** WAS THAT?!
Mycroft: The badniks can fire lasers out of the sky, but just out here. They'll stop once the Egg Nexus is down.
Raid: That... that was NOT what I expected.
Barney: Enough chitter-chatter. To get into the courtyard, we've got to go around these forcefields.
Raid: Seriously, couldn't you guys have told me about the forcefields beforehand?
Barney: Hey, relax. We're taking point. Just follow us.
[Mycroft and Barney lead the group down the street, watching out for any OMG WTF LAZER HAXes]
[they waltz on into a small building at the end of the street and kill some soldiers]
[they then open a door and find themselves in the courtyard]
Barney: C'mon, let's keep it moving; there's another forcefield stopping us from reaching the building.
[they fight off more soldiers, dodge more LAZORZ and enter another small building]
[..and kill more soldiers, then exit through another door, and find themselves just outside the Egg Nexus]
Barney: Nearly there. We gotta go around to the side door. C'mon.
[Barney leads them to the side door; they enter it]
{OBECTIVE COMPLETE- Infiltrate the Egg Nexus}

"Egg Nexus: Search and Disable"
(Day 3- 19:32:32)
(Michael Urkel a.k.a. "Johnny Gioeli")
(Egg Nexus interior, District 2)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Disable the Egg Nexus}

[the side door took them to a quiet hallway]
Barney: We're in. Everyone here?
[everyone is here]
Mycroft: Yeah, everyone's here. Raid, you mind taking point from here?
Raid: I guess, but... where do we go?
Mycroft: Well, we're looking for three generators.
Barney: Obvious ones. Ya can't miss 'em.
Raid: Oh. Okay. Let's go, guys.
[Raid leads them into the nex-- BEEP BEEP]
[before they enter the next room, turrets rise from the floor]
Raid: Whoa!
Mycroft: Duke, explosives!
Duke: Got it!
[Duke fires explosives at the turrets; they go ka-blooey]
[NOW they enter the next room]
[Chaobine city!]
[budda budda budda budda]
[boom]
[they move on to the next room, and up some stairs]
Raid: ...shh! You guys hear that?
?: Help! Please!
White: It was coming from this room, right here.
[they enter the room, and find some rebels stuck behind a force field]
Rebel1: You there! Please, shut the force field off!
Raid: Sure thing. *shuts off*
Rebel1: Thanks, dude. The name's Jun Senoue.
Duke: Awesome name.
Jun: Thanks. My pal here is codenamed Johnny Gioeli.
Gioeli: 'Sup?
Raid: Welcome to the team, guys. We're taking this place down.
Gioeli: Rock n' roll!
[they leave the room, and some turrets rise from the floor]
Raid: Duke?
Duke: Yah?
Raid: Nuke 'em.
[BOOOM!]
[in the next room is a crazy energy orb being held in place by machines]
Barney: Kid, that's one of the generators. You know what to do.
Raid: I.... do?
Mycroft: Use what we have taught you, young grasshopper.
[Raid examines the scene carefully]
Raid: Hmmm.... ah-ha!
[Raid shunts the energy orb with a burst from the gravity gun; it flies around and disintegrates]
Mycroft: We have taught you well.
Barney: Two to go. Let's go!
Raid: Got it.
[they leave the room, and are ambushed by regular and Chaos Chaobine]
[..of course, our heroes win. They're a really big squad.]
[they find a strange bridge and cross it to another branch of the Egg Nexus]
[they check out a random room, and are instantly locked in]
Fox: Crap.
Raid: Brace yourselves, guys.
[they hear dozens of footsteps running to a door opposite them]
[beep beep]
[...beep beep...]
[...beep beep...]
[...BOOOOM!]
[The door is blasted open, and Chaobine soldiers storm in]
[budda budda budda budda budda]
[Guess who is left standing?]
Fox: Man, these fights are getting REALLY easy.
Mycroft: Pfft, yeah, 'cause there're, like... nine, ten of us.
[they keep moving and find another generator]
Raid: I got this. *SHUNT*
[fizzzzle.....]
Barney: Nice job. We've only one left.
Raid: This is all going much too easily.
Mycroft: Heh... good to see you're catching on.
Raid: Wha?
Mycroft: Duke, Fox? When we were going through Half-Life 1, do you remember when it went REALLY easily?
Fox: Uh... yeah, during "Forget about Freeman," right? Right after Surface Tension?
Mycroft: And what followed that?
Fox: Lambda Core, and then Xen.
Mycroft: And how hard was the rest of the game?
Duke+Fox: ****ing impossible.
Mycroft: So, kid, you've got that to look forward to. We're close to the end of the game.
Raid: Oh... gee, thanks for THAT pep talk.
Mycroft: Don't be like that. You're learning. You only have to worry about the journey to District 1.
Raid: Fine... let's just hurry up and shut off the last generator.
Barney: You heard the kid; hurry up, let's go!
[they travel to another wing of the Egg Nexus]
[the next room is filled with lasers and mines]
Raid: ......okay, so this IS kinda hard.
Mycroft: Do it. You'll find it's not as tough as it looks.
Raid: *sigh* Fine. Wait here, guys.
[Raid enters the room and looks for some ways around the lasers]
Raid: Huh. Looks like I'm gonna have to do this the hard way.
[he crawls under one laser, hops over another, sneaks around one, rolls under another]
[he hops across the machines in the room and dodges the mines]
[at the other end of the room, he hits a button and switches the lasers off]
[the others enter the room and come to him]
[in the next room is the final generator]
Barney: C'mon, Raid. Finish this.
Raid: Gladly. *SHUNT*
[fizzzzle...]
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Disable the Egg Nexus}

"Egg Nexus: Ain't No Beatles Gig"
(Day 3- 19:52:01}
(Frederick Todd Jenkins a.k.a "John Petrucci")
(Egg Nexus roof, District 2)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Obtain roof access}

Mycroft: Well, Raid... you wanted your hard part. You're about to get it.
Raid: Right...
Barney: I'll take point now! Follow close!
[Barney leads them back down to the bottom floor, dealing with tons of soldiers]
[they go through a small hallway and come to a door]
Barney: Alright, guys. This is where we part.
Raid: Bye, Barney. See ya in District 1.
Barney: Yeah, see ya. Senoue, Gioeli, could you back me up?
Jun: Sure thing.
[Jun Senoue and Johnny Gioeli go with Barney]
Raid: Well... let's get this over with.
[they head up the stairs and reach door to the roof]
Mycroft: Before we head out there, we need to talk.
Raid: Yes, we do. Am I going to be on my own during the hard part?
Mycroft: Most likely.
Raid: ..great. Okay, let's go.
[they head out the door and begin fighting the hordes of soldiers]

..meanwhile...

[cut to Eggman's office in the Egg Citadel]
[Eggman is talking on a monitor to someone]
Egg: The Egg Nexus has been deactivated. They're... they're coming for me.
[pause]
Egg: I'm NOT being paranoi..well, I AM, but with good reason! That chao.. Shadow Raid.. he's a madman.
[pause]
Egg: ..well... but...
[pause]
Egg: Hmph. Very well. Verrrry well. Please do. Oh, and... feel free to use maximum firepower.
[Eggman laughs evilly as the screen fades out]

[cut to the Egg Nexus rooftop; the chao have just fought their way to the other side]
[they have opened access to a bridge that allows reinforcements to spawn indefinitely]
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Obtain roof access}

"When the Poop Hits the Paddle..."
(Day 3- 19:57:23)
(Shadow a.k.a "Shadow Raid")
(District 2)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}

Raid: Alright, are you guys leaving me now?
Mycroft: Kinda-sorta. We'll just be up here.. in case things go horribly, horribly wrong.
Duke: Which they probably will.
Raid: Well.. wish me luck. I'm going down. By myself.
[Raid heads down some stairs]
Mycroft: ...he is SO dead.
White: Why did you send him down if you knew he was gonna die?
Mycroft: Well.. he needs to be tested.
White: Screw this; I'm going down with him.
[Jack White heads down the stairs]
Mycroft: ..aren't you two going down, too?
Petrucci: Me? You kiddin'?
Gaga: If White Stripes over there wants to get himself killed, I say let him.
[cut to Raid; he reached the bottom floor and is approaching the door to outside]
White: Wait up!
[White regroups with him]
Raid: You comin', too?
White: Hell yeah. We badasses have to stick together.
Raid: This is probably a suicide run, you know.
White: It won't be that bad. Now, come on.
[they exit the door]
[outside, giant tripod badniks are walking around, blowing things up]
[a random rebel soldier is seen shooting a tripod, which then proceeds to charge up a powerful beam]
[pause]
[.....BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!]
[the soldier disintegrates]
Raid: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ****.
White: ..okay, so it might be a TEENSY bit harder than I had predicted. But we can still manage.
Raid: Dude... there's five of 'em.
White: It'll just take a while.
[they run outside and take cover]
Raid: Okay... I'm gonna try shooting a rocket at it.
[BOOM]
Raid: ...another.
[BOOM]
Raid: One more.
[BOOM]
Raid: One more should do it.
[BOOM]
Raid: Ahhhhh, **** you, man.
[BOOM; rooaaarrr.... die]
Raid: Okay! Five rockets kill one.
White: We have seven.
Raid: ...perfect.
[they hear a large crash coming from the center of the courtyard]
Raid: What...
[they hear the tripods fire at something]
White: The...
[they hear all the tripods explode]
Both: Nuclear-equipped walking battle tank?
[they peek over the cover]
[everything is on fire]
[in the center of all the rubble is a lone figure, crouching]
Raid: What IS that?
White: Is it a badnik?
Raid: I think the more important question is... is it friend or foe?
[the figure slowly stands up]
[Mycroft is heard shouting "HOLY ****CAKES!"]
[it slowly steps towards Raid and White]
White: Whatever it is, it's got elflike shoes.
Raid: It's got blood-red eyes.
White: It's got a cape.
Raid: Worst of all... I think it's a robot.
?: This is quite amusing, you know...
Raid: Wh..what is?
?: The fact that you do not recognize me. I have saved your life more times than you even know.
Raid: So.. so you're our ally?
?: Now, I wouldn't say "ally..." I am merely your acquaintance. And you have pissed off my #1 client.
Raid: Who's that?
?: Herr Robotnik. He was paying me BIIIIG bucks to control the streets of Robotnikland 17.
White: *gasp* No way.. you're The Cremator.
?: Some have called me by that name.
Raid: You control the streets? You haven't been doing a very good job, then.
?: Yes, well, when you blew up Novella Prospekt, I was called in to.. clean up the rubble. And the coasts.
Raid: You've been killing the rebels in the outposts?
?: Hahaha... yes. And I was just about to bomb the antlion nests when Herr Doktor called me in with some shocking news.
Raid: The Egg Nexus...
?: I must say, I am very impressed. I never expected a CHAO to shut down such a building.
White: Well, for the record, there were, like.. nine of us. Including Mycroft Holmes.
?: M..what? Wait, what?
White: Mycroft Holmes. The codename for Sh--nobody!
?: "Sh.." who?
White: Doesn't matter.
?: Hmmmm... yes. Doesn't matter. At least.. not for YOU.
Raid: Enough! Who ARE you?
[Mycroft suddenly drops in, wielding his crowbar]
Mycroft: Metal Sonic...
White: Mycroft!
MS: Ah, yes... Shade. Of course, it all makes sense now.
Mycroft: You want me. Don't mess with these guys if you want me.
MS: I'll mess with whoever I want.
Mycroft: Like hell, you will!
[Metal glares at Mycroft]
MS: You are pushing my patience, Shade. You're lucky I haven't done any cremating just yet.
Raid: Just let us pass by. We only want to get to District 1.
MS: Let you pass by? What, should I also sit around while you assassinate herr Doktor?
Mycroft: Relax. We're not gonna assassinate him. We just want to talk with him.
MS: He's my biggest client. I can't take any chances. For instance!
[Metal pulls out a freaky sword]
MS: This sword may be old-fashioned, but it gets the job done. I don't want to take chances on whether or not you die.
[Mycroft wields his crowbar]
[they stare off for a bit]
MS: ...prepare to be cremated!
[Metal charges at Mycroft, who hops out of the way; Metal turns on a dime and follows]
Mycroft: Eah! *dodge*
MS: What's the matter, Shade? *chase* Did you forget who I am?
Mycroft: No! *dodge* Well.... *dodge* ...sorta. *dodge*
[they continue the game of cat-and-mouse for a bit before Mycroft stumbles]
[suddenly, Jack White leaps into the fray and tugs onto Metal's cape, making Metal stumble, as well]
[Metal shakes Jack off]
MS: I'll deal with YOU later, runt.
[he launches himself into the air; Mycroft jumps out of the way as Metal lands]
Mycroft: Duke! Duke!
Duke: Got it, chief!
[Duke tosses his RPG from afar]
[it hits, and a large explosion covers the ground]
[the chao watch closely to see if Metal survived]
[pause]
Mycroft: ....I think... I think we did it, guys. Yeah! I think we actually beat Met--
[suddenly, two robotic arms extend from within and grab Mycroft]
[as they detract back into the cloud, Raid uses his gravity gun to pull them back]
Mycroft: Pull, dude! Pull!
Raid: (strained) I'm... I'm trying!
MS: Muahahaha...
Raid: What's.. what's so funny?
MS: Oh, nothing... just the fact that, while you're trying, I'm NOT!
[Metal's arms retract extremely quickly]
Mycroft: ****!!!
[Petrucci and Gaga come down to the courtyard, then run into the cloud]
[struggles are heard; the cloud slowly fades]
[Metal is gone]
Raid: Wha? Where did he go?
[Redd Fox and Duke Nukem have now come down, too]
Fox: I think the more important question is... when will he return?
[Duke helps Mycroft up]
Duke: Whoa, Holmes, are you alright?
Mycroft: *cough cough* Ugh... not too bad... I don't think Metal was able to do anything too rash.
Petrucci: We'd better get outta here before he comes back.
Raid: John is right. We'd best hightail it out of here.
White: Let's get a move on, then. District 1 isn't far from here.
Raid: Yeah, let's go.
[they head out of the courtyard; Mycroft slowly walks forward]
Duke: C'mon, Shade. Put your arm over my shoulder.
Mycroft: *does that* Thanks, Dark... *hack wheeze* ugh...
Duke: What did he...?
[Mycroft reveals his stomach (which he was covering to this point); blood covers it]
Mycroft: I *cough* ..didn't want to worry you guys.
Duke: You are a true badass, sir.
Mycroft: Dark..... I never told you this, but... it's been a real pleasure with you as my number one.
Duke: Wha? But.. no! We're.. you're...
Mycroft: Dark. Look at me. I'm about to tell you something I have never told ANYBODY in my entire life.
[Mycroft looks at Duke right in the eyes]
Mycroft: You will rule the garden when I am gone. You have always been my best friend, and... I love you.
[tears build in Duke's eyes]
Duke: Sh..Shade... sir... you're not going to die. We're getting you out of this!
[Duke starts walking and pulling Mycroft with him]
Mycroft: Dark...
Duke: We've.. *sniff* ..we've only got a little bit left! The game's nearly over!
Mycroft: Don't you get it, Dark? Metal's gonna come back! He's.. he's...
[Mycroft feels tears, and attempts to hold them back]
[...but he ends up sobbing over Duke's shoulder]
Mycroft: (crying) He's gonna come back, and he's gonna finish what he started!
Duke: Sh....Shade... you.. you're crying...
Mycroft: (crying) You're damn right I'm crying! I'm no badass.. I'm just a chao. And.. I.. I can't take this.
Duke: Shade, listen to ME for a second, okay? I'm going to tell you something I have never said before, EVER.
[Mycroft sniffles and looks at Duke]
Duke: ...I will not let Metal touch you. Even if I have to fight him personally.
Mycroft: ....aw, geez, Dark... *sob* you... you... you're..... thank...
Duke: Shh, shh, shhh.. it's alright.
[Duke looks at Mycroft right in the eyes]
Duke: Now... are you going to continue crying to me about Metal, or are you going to go out there and finish this game?
[Mycroft sniffles and thinks]
Duke: Remember, there's a kid out there who is depending on your mentorship to make it through this alive.
Mycroft: You're... you're right. Shadow needs me now more than ever. I.. I shouldn't be crying. I should be helping him.
[Mycroft hugs Duke]
Mycroft: Thanks, Dark. You're a true pal.. and you always have been. C'mon, let's go.
Duke: There's the Shade I know and love.
[Duke supports Mycroft as they walk along to the next street]

"...It Goes Splat"
(Day 3- 20:12:14)
(Metal Sonic a.k.a "The Cremator")
(District 2 underpass)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}

[the chao head down some stairs and find themselves in an underground tunnel]
Raid: Mycroft, everything okay?
Mycroft: Yes. We were just... planning out how to do this next part.
Raid: Ah, yes.. about this next part...
Mycroft: ...*remembers* Aw, crap.
Raid: What?
Mycroft: Kid... no matter what, we're here to back you up.
Raid: Wait.. what?
[BASH!!!]
[they slowly turn around]
[The Cremator is far away, at the other end of the tunnel]
Raid: Run. Run now.
Mycroft: You heard the man; let's go, doubletime!
[they run as fast as they can; Duke is still trying to help Mycroft through]
Mycroft: Duke, go on ahead! I.. I think I can run.
[Duke lets go and runs ahead; Mycroft attempts to run, but trips]
[The Cremator chuckles, pulls out his sword, and runs toward Mycroft]
Duke: RAID!
[the others stop running, turn, and see the situation]
[they quickly run to Mycroft's aid]
Raid: C'mon, Holmes, don't die on me now. No man left behind.
Mycroft: ...I've taught you well, kid.. *cough*
Crem: Perhaps a little TOO well?
[The Cremator is standing next to them]
Duke: **** off, Cremator!
Crem: Well, that's not a very nice thing to say...
Duke: Oh, I'm sorry; I just.. got a bit defensive.
Crem: No, no, I understand. After all, I've almost killed Shade, and all...
Duke: Yeah, and... yeah. You know, you're not such a bad guy.
Crem: Really? Well, that gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside! Thank you!
Duke: No problem! ...say, what happened to you? I mean... I'm sure you've died multiple times now.
Crem: What, you mean during the Instability War? Yeah, well... the Veteran's Committee... they thought I'd be best for this.
Duke: Oh, of course... the Veteran's Committee. Do you.. do you work for them, or something?
Crem: Well... to tell you the truth... I'm actually a mole. I work for them only as a cover.
Duke: O rly?
Crem: Ya rly. I mean, they're trying to end DCA, and that's NO good. So, I'm finding out what their plans are.
Duke: Cool. And what ARE their plans?
Crem: So far, I've found out that they want to use Shadow to get the chaos drives for their own gain.
Duke: R..really? And what could the chaos drives do for them?
Crem: I haven't quite figured that out yet.
Duke: Ah. Okay.
[The Cremator looks, and finds that the others had run off during the conversation]
Crem: Aw, dammit. Why do they always run?
Duke: Want me to go fetch 'em for ya?
Crem: Oh, you'd do that?
Duke: Of course! You can trust me.
Crem: Well, that'd be swell. Thanks!
[Duke runs off to find the others]
[Duke enters a building that happens to be in the tunnel]
Duke: Guys? You there?
Raid: Shhh! Up here!
[Duke heads up some stairs, and finds them]
Raid: Nice job stalling for us. Now, we were able to find out that the entrance to District 1 is somewhere in here.
Mycroft: On the third floor, yeah. So c'mon, let's go.
[they head up some more stairs, and search for any doors]
[...but there are none]
[--wait, no, there's one. xD Of course.]
Raid: Quick, quick, get in!
[they run in the door]

"Pale Horse"
(Day 3- 20:20:44)
(Ivo Robotnik a.k.a "Doctor Eggman")
(District 1)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}

[cut to District 1: a bunch of streets revolving around one large building in the center]
[a horse statue is visible in the distance]
Raid: We made it.. the hard part is over.
Mycroft: Mostly. This part's not quite a walk in the park, either.
Raid: Wonderful. Where do we go?
Mycroft: To that horse statue at the other side of the district. Barney's waiting for us there.
Raid: But.. there's tons of rubble blocking the street leading to there!
Mycroft: That's why we go into that building in the middle.
[they head into the building, and drop down into the basement]
[they hear Chaobine radio chatter]
Gaga: Ohh, I've never been so happy to hear Chaobine in my life. ..let's kill 'em.
[they move through the basement, killing Chaobine]
[they then head up the stairs, finding that the building is in ruin]
[the second floor has been blasted apart, and there is no longer a roof]
Raid: I think we can go through the ruined second floor and jump out a window to get to the statue.
Mycroft: Now you're thinking.
[they head up to the second floor, killing more Chaobine]
[the "islands" of the ruined second floor are all connected by girders, or nothing at all]
Raid: Okay... easy does it...
[they hop across some patches of the floor 'til they reach the center of the building]
[CRASH!]
Fox: What was that?
[The Cremator flies above the building]
Crem: Guess who, kiddies!
[the chao scream]
Duke: Um.. I found them for you!
Crem: Yeah, yeah, I know you secretly snuck off with them. Besides...
[he pulls out a machine gun]
Crem: I was gonna kill you, anyway!
Duke: *gasp* You monster!
Crem: Hahahaha! Eat lead!
[The Cremator flies around, firing at them]
Raid: Aw, crap!
Duke: ...you messed with Shade. You made him cry. Nobody makes Shade cry and gets away with it.
[Duke tosses Final Fantasy VII at The Cremator; it just misses]
Crem: Whoa! Watch where you're throwing that thing!
[...and, as it's coming back, it strikes him in the back of the head]
[BOOOM!]
[he falls to the ground; Duke hops down to the first floor to finish the fight]
[The Cremator gets up]
Crem: Ugh... you insufferable rogue!
Duke: You're gonna pay for what you did.
Crem: As will you.
[The Cremator whips out his machine gun again and opens fire]
[Duke ducks behind a rock, and pulls out his trusty RPG]
Crem: Hiding won't help you! I have legs, you know.
[The Cremator walks around the rock, but Duke is no longer there]
[he scratches his head in confusion]
Duke: HEY, UGLY!
[The Cremator looks up and sees Duke on the platform with the others]
Duke: Time to show you what we Darks are made of.
[Duke throws his RPG]
[BOOOM!]
[and once more]
[BOOOOOOOM!]
[and one final time]
[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!]
[once all the smoke clears, they find that The Cremator is trapped in rubble]
Crem: Argh! Freakin'.. rocks...
Raid: Let's get out of here, NOW!
[they run along the platforms and jump out a window]
[they land on a street, and run to the horse statue]
[Barney is waiting for them there]
Barney: Hey, you made it! ..whoa, what happened to Holmes?
Mycroft: The Cremator... he's cleaning the streets.
Barney: Aw, ****! We'd better hurry, then. See, the Egg Citadel is just past this Badnik Wall.
[there is a Badnik Wall at the end of the street, but it won't budge]
Barney: See, I think it might be best if we find a way around it.
Mycroft: No time! *hack wheeze* We have.. no time for that.
Barney: Well, what else CAN we do?
[THUD!]
[The Cremator has landed on the street]
Crem: Leaving so soon?
Barney: Mycroft... what's the plan?
Mycroft: There's a way under the Badnik Wall. We just have to get down there.
Crem: What are you guys talking about? Your inevitable deaths?
[The Cremator steps forward]
Crem: You know, I'm done playing. The game is over. I'm really going to shoot you now.
[he pulls out a pistol]
Crem: And I'm doing it with a pistol.
[the chao look at each other]
Raid: Duke.
Duke: Got it, chief.
[Duke throws his RPG at The Cremator]
[BOOM!]
Crem: RPGs won't help you here.
[The Cremator shoots at the ground by their feet]
Crem: Perhaps you weren't taking me seriously enough. I'm good with pistols. Really good.
[he points it at Mycroft]
Crem: And I'm more than willing to shoot your beloved Shade.
Mycroft: Why do you want ME?
Crem: I was given specific instructions to kill "Shade the Dark." That, and we've known each other for a while.
Mycroft: Who gave you the instructions?
Crem: Isn't it obvious by now? The Veteran's Committee! They know you are the star of the show, and want you dead.
Mycroft: But... but Shadow's the star now.
Crem: He's simply the protagonist. You still have quite a following, Dark Lord.
[Mycroft thinks things through]
Crem: Enough talking. Let's end this.
Barney: Yes, let's. Gioeli, Senoue! Formation Phi.
Gioeli: HUAH!
Senoue: LET'S ROCK!
[Johnny throws mines into the battlefield; Jun grabs The Cremator with a grappling hook and pulls him towards the mines]
Crem: Oh shi
[BOOM]
[BAM]
[KA-BLAM]
Crem: Hmph, so you guys have some new tricks up your sleeve. So do I.
[The Cremator flips his cape over himself and becomes invisible]
Petrucci: Holy crabcakes!
Senoue: Don't worry, guys. I've still got him with the grappling hook!
[suddenly, the grappling hook becomes really light]
[Jun pulls it back, and finds that it is no longer grabbing anything]
Senoue: Uh-oh.
[Mycroft is lifted into the air]
Mycroft: Found him found him get him hurry!!!
[Duke tosses his RPG]
[Fox shoots with his AR2]
[Raid picks up a rock with the gravity gun and chucks it]
[Petrucci, White, and Gaga shoot with whatever gun they have]
[Barney fires with Duke's shotgun]
[Johnny tosses mines]
[Jun throws the hook again and again]
[finally, Mycroft uses his last strengths to pull out his crowbar and thrust it forward]
[sparks fly; Mycroft is dropped (and runs like hell); The Cremator becomes visible]
Crem: This was not predicted.
[....BOOM!]
[The Cremator is sent flying]
Crem: Looks like Team Rocket is blasting off again!
[the chao cheer]
Raid: We.. we did it! We actually did it!
Barney: We did, yeah.. that was pretty awesome, right there.
Mycroft: Now, about this Badnik Wall... Jun Senoue!
Senoue: Yes?
Mycroft: Place your grappling hook under it, right about.. here.
[he does that]
Mycroft: Now, everybody pull!
[everyone pulls the rope/whatever, and the wall lifts]
Mycroft: Raid... go in! Go in now!
Raid: M..me? Alone?
Mycroft: You can do it, kid... we believe in you.
Raid: But.. but the Egg Citadel is HUGE!
Mycroft: Don't worry, we'll try to find our own way in. Just go!
Raid: Okay! Okay.
[Raid runs to under the wall, and drops down into a hole]
Barney: And if you see Doctor Eggman, tell him I said... "FU*wall drops and crashes* YOU!"
[smoke fills the underground passageway]
Raid: Calm down, Shadow... you can do this.
[he gets hit on the head with something-- a crowbar!]
Mycroft: KID! TAKE IT!
Raid: Thank you!
[Raid equips the crowbar]
Raid: I guess it's time for me to become a badass.
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Journey to the Egg Citadel}
[TO BE CONCLUDED...]

I HAVE THEORY!

Okay. So. Earlier, I had a specific plan planned out for DCAHall3. Now, I have a BETTER plan.

Yes. Ohhhhhhh yes. Ohhhhhhh YES. This is a BRILLYUNT idea.

Ohhh-hoh-hoh... so, my old idea... the second concept for DCAHall3 (the first being Left 4 Dead, later to be merged with #710.. or whatever) will become Tale One. The old Tale One idea I had... wasn't going anywhere. Now, I think people will like this new one.

The new Tale Two....... the Feature Presentation...... this is a great idea. I freaking LOVE it. It fits in so perfectly......

Now, lemme tell ya, with this new idea in place, Season Seven will have to end a lot sooner than I had originally planned. It'll still take forever, mind you, but... the number of serials will decrease. At least, this way, we can finally move on to Season Eight.

...hmm.. okay, so there's still the occasional kink to work out, like which one Tale Two will be based on... and the format....

Maybe I should make a short, three-panel comic strip as a promotional teaser picture? ..that's a good idea. I think I'll do that.

DCAHall3, coming October 31, 2010. Get lost in a new w--

YES OH THAT IS A FREAKING GREAT IDEA-- sorry. Sorry. I just.. keep.. getting GENIUS plans.

DCAHall3, coming October 31, 2010. Get lost in a new world.. a year late.

....OH YES ANOTHER GREAT IDEA! Oh, gee, I think I've essentially got this planned out now!

Official tagline:

He didn't tell you the whole story. Get lost in a new world... one year too late.

Dark Chao Adventures: Halloween 2010

Make sure you bring stars. They might help you.

Who's the Fool?

[cut to the Dark Garden]
[Shade's all just sittin' around, carefully examining a block of wood]
Shade: .......yup, it's wood.
[suddenly, the Future Shade dashes in]
ShadeF: *pant* Kid.. we need to talk.
Shade: Whoa. Normally, it's US coming to YOU.
ShadeF: Yeah, well.. that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Everything's changing.
Shade: Everything?
ShadeF: Everything.
Shade: ...examples?
ShadeF: Examples? Well, first of all, I came to you to talk.
Shade: Yeah, I mean OTHER than that.
ShadeF: Then, there are talks that DJay's moving on to Microsoft Word.
Shade: The fabled Blu-Ray... it actually exists?
ShadeF: You can bet yer bebby it does, kid.
Shade: What will this mean for us?
ShadeF: There's no telling. It might be a good thing, or it might be a bad thing.
Shade: ...what else is changing?
ShadeF: There are also rumors that DJay's considering doing something ELSE with DCA.
Shade: Something else? Like... like a radio show?
ShadeF: Radio, video, comic...
Shade: Unlikely, but possible.
ShadeF: More like impossible, but likely.
Shade: ...touche. Go on.
ShadeF: Well, DJay's also getting rather lonely.
Shade: Hey, I don't wanna know that!
ShadeF: No, I mean.. he wants more people to talk to.
Shade: You mean he's getting desperate for fans?
ShadeF: Kinda-sorta.
Shade: What does he want US to do about it?
ShadeF: Pose for some advertisements, act hilarious, attract people.
Shade: Pfft. That's easy.
ShadeF: If we DO wind up doing a radio show, he might actually try to get some other voices.
Shade: You mean... he's gonna get OTHER PEOPLE to do our voices?
ShadeF: Yep. Don't worry, he'd still do your voice.
Shade: Oh, good. Yours, too?
ShadeF: Without a doubt. Of course, this is all speculation.
Shade: Of course, yeah. Continue.
ShadeF: He's definitely gonna work on the site s'more, though.
Shade: Good. It's rather outdated, by today's standards. "Work," how?
ShadeF: He's gonna work on advertisement for it, maybe figure out how to give it tons more content...
Shade: Yeah, yeah, what else is he doing?
ShadeF: He's brainstorming how to do the Veteran's Committee story arc.
Shade: Ah, yes, 'cause DCA's not REALLY ending... so he'll eventually want to do Season Eight.
ShadeF: Exactly. He's trying to think of the best way to do the rest of Season Seven.
Shade: Man, the story's gonna be tricky to work out.
ShadeF: Indubitably. Another thing he's seriously considering is making a DCA Wiki.
Shade: Is... is this series really THAT big, though?
ShadeF: Hey, there's a Halo Wiki.
Shade: Excellent point.
ShadeF: But, to answer your question, the series IS considerably larger than most fanfics.
Shade: Hm.
[enter Dark]
Dark: HAI GAIZ whatcha talkin' about? 8D
Shade: We're just discussing whether or not DCA is large enough to warrant a wiki.
Dark: *gasp* It most certainly IS! At least a thousand articles' worth of information!
ShadeF: If you include DCRPG, and all the other spin-offs, then yes.
Shade: Okay, well.. cool. Anything else?
ShadeF: Yeah, he might actually want some help with DCRPG2.
Dark: I had completely forgotten we had a DCRPG2.
ShadeF: Bingo. We do. It's just as important as the original, but DJay needs more than the usual two contributors (owners of Solar and Shadow Bonic). He might also want to organize things a little more before really doing anything further with that game.
Shade: Do you think anything will have happened by the time "Still Waiting for Half-Time's" over?
ShadeF: It's possible. I mean, he IS still working on that...
Dark: Is he at the Citadel yet?
ShadeF: Nah, he's up to the Nexus. And the next episode only goes up to the Citadel.
Shade: Okay, I think we get the idea. And when's the part you yell "APRIL FOOLS?"
ShadeF: ...beg pardon?
Shade: C'mon, we all know DJay would never change DCA. I can believe the Microsoft Word part, but...
Dark: RADIO?
Shade: Yeah, RADIO? Comic? This is obviously an April Fools joke.
ShadeF: But, it's NOT...
Shade: Very funny? I agree. It's not. Quit it.
ShadeF: *sigh* Believe what you wanna believe. I'm outta here.
[Future Shade leaves]

Akira Kurosawa Memorial (Rashomon DCA version)

[cut to the Dark Garden]
[Shade is chillaxin']
[Dark runs up to him]
Dark: SHADE SHADE SHADE
Shade: AH! What is it, Dark?
Dark: Today's Akira Kurosawa's 100th birthday! We've gotta do something for him!
Shade: ZOMG you are absolutely right! Hmm... but what could we possibly do?
[enter Shadow, the chao]
Shadow: Hey, Shade. I happened to overhear your conundrum, and I am pleased to announce that I may have a viable solution.
Shade: Out with it, then!
Shadow: You see.........
[fade to black]

[fade-in; everybody's gathered in the Dark Garden]
Shade: *ahem* Will everyone please have a seat?
[everyone has a seat around the pool]
[on the island is Shade, wearing a tuxedo]
Shade: First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for coming to the 100th Anniversary of Akira Kurosawa's birth.
[applause]
Shade: I know many of you are wondering, "Who the smack is Akira Kurosawa?"
[murmurs of affirmation]
Shade: *sigh* I thought so. Well, we set up a little presentation to answer those questions.
[exit Shade]
[enter Metal Sonic]
[cheer]
MS: Yeah, yeah, shaddup. My name is Metal Sonic, and I am here to explain to you who the **** Akira Kurosawa is.
[the crowd shuts up]
MS: So, Kurosawa-san was this Japanese director. Born in 1910, he was the youngest of eight children in the suburbs of Tokyo.
["oh my," "eight?" "youngest?" "TOKYO?!"]
MS: Yeah, but here's the cool part: The Kurosawas are descendants of SAMURAIS.
["Like you?"]
[laughter]
MS: ..very funny, Mecha.
[laughter]
MS: Anyway, he made his first movie, "Sanshiro Sugata," in 1943. It's about this young dude who goes to a city to learn Jujutsu, but then later discovers Judo.. n' whatever.
["Don't you know BOTH of those?"]
MS: *chuckle* Yeah, and a number of other martial and marital arts, but that's beside the point.
[mild laughter]
MS: After his debut film, the Japanese government kept a close eye on him. As a result, his next film, "The Most Beautiful" was a propaganda piece about factory workers.
["communist"]
[Metal glares at the unruly audience member]
MS: It's not communism; it's HISTORY. One more outburst like that, and you're outta here.
["sorry"]
MS: ...MOVING ON... he later made "Sanshiro Sugata Part II," which showed the protagonist competing in a boxing match and winning with Judo techniques.
["Hey, Metal, isn't that cheating?"]
MS: You talk a lot, Mecha. Shut up.
["I was just sayin'..."]
MS: In response to that one unruly guy a moment ago, Kurosawa-san was NOT communist, for his first post-war film, "No Regrets for Our Youth," portrayed life under militaristic rule as bad.
["Bad?"]
MS: I can't think of a better word right now. Shut up.
[laughter]
MS: He made many other movies since then, but for now, let's focus on the movie that made him famous, shall we?
[Mecha raises his hand]
MS: *siiiigh* Yes, Mecha?
["Wasn't he famous for 'The Wizard of Oz?'"]
MS: No, Mecha, Akira Kurosawa did not make "The Wizard of Oz." That was L. Baum and W. Denslow.
[mild laughter]
MS: ...retard.
[laughter]
MS: No, what made Kurosawa-san famous was a film called "Rashomon."
[confused remarks]
MS: Never heard of it? Thought not. Kids and yer... iPods... anyway, we're gonna act Rashomon out for you.
[cheer]
MS: Yeah. So sit down, shaddup, and.. enjoy the Dark Chao Adventures adaption of Akira Kurosawa's "Rashomon." With all the naughty bits cut out.
[laughter, cheer]

DJay32 presents...
A story by Akira Kurosawa...
Starring the cast of Dark Chao Adventures...


RASHOMON


[enter the WOODCUTTER (Dark) and PRIEST (Chao)]
[they sit, solemnly]
[enter the COMMONER (Cham)]
[pause]
Dark: ....'sup?
Chao: We have just witnessed a horrible crime.
Cham: Pics, or it didn't happen.
Dark: Nah, he means it. You see, I was walkin' through the woods one day...
Chao: He's a woodcutter, you see, so he does that.
Dark: ..and I found the dead body of a samurai, then told the cops.
Chao: And I happened to see the scene of the murder, myself.
Dark: We were both summoned to court, where we testified n' whatnot.
Cham: Japanese court? Awesome! Was Phoenix Wright there?
Dark: Nah, Apollo Justice was there that day.
Chao: 'Twas in court where we met Tajomaru...
Dark: FLASHBACK!
[the chao spin around in circles and run off-stage; Dark trips]
[laughter]

MS (Narrator): We take you back in time to three days earlier, to the Japanese courthouse.
[enter TAJOMARU (Shade)]
Shade: You wanna know who did it? That's right; I did it. It was me, the great Tajomaru! I'm the most famous bandit in all of freakin' Japan, baby! You wanna know HOW I did it? I'll tell ya... with a flashback IN a flashback!
[Shade spins around in circles and then runs off-stage]
[enter TAJOMARU, SAMURAI (Shadow), and WIFE OF SAMURAI (Tail)]
[the SAMURAI and WIFE are walking along; TAJOMARU runs up to them]
Shade: Yo, Samurai! I found some kickass ninja swords in the grove down yonder.
Shadow: Hm? Might I see them?
Shade: Most certainly. Right this way... *conspicuous evil laughter*
[TAJOMARU leads the other two onward]
Shade: Okay, here we are, in a small grove... away from the rest of the world.
Shadow: Yes, here we are.
Shade: ..hey, what's that over there?! *points*
Shadow: I do not know, but I've been through these parts before. Nothing will harm us.
[pause]
Shade: ...seriously, dude, look over there.
Shadow: I would much rather view your collection of swords, kind sir.
[pause]
Shade: Um.. LOOK! Pedobear!
Shadow: OH **** NO WAY I AM SO ****ING SICK OF THAT ****ING ***HOLE FOLLOWING ME AROUND WHERE THE **** IS HE IMMA GUNNA **** THAT **** IN HIS ****ING *****!!!
[the SAMURAI turns around]
[TAJOMARU ties the SAMURAI up and then ties him to a tree(-like prop)]
Shade: Moohoohaahaa! Now I can do nasty things to your wife!
Tail: Oh, no!!!
Shade: ...wait, why is Tail the wife?
Chao (off-stage): He REALLY wanted a part.
Shade: But.. don't you know what Tajomaru DOES to the wife?
Shadow: Well.. we cut the nasty parts out.
Shade: We DID?! ****, why doesn't anybody tell me these things anymore?
Dark (off-stage): What, were you REALLY gonna....?
Shade: ....
Dark (off): ...well... here. Use this.
[Dark hands TAJOMARU a blow-up doll]
Shade: Yeah, but... it won't feel the SAME...
[PEENUT BUTTAH JELLAH TAHM]
Shade: Oh, ****, forgot to mention: the wife tried to defend herself with a dagger. Now you know.
Tail: Oh, Tajomaru, I beg of you, please duel my husband... I cannot bear the shame of TWO men knowing my dishonor.
Shade: Even though I'm retelling this to a courtroom?
Tail: ...just fight.
Shade: Very well! *lets Samurai go* SAMURAI! Duel me in battle... 'cause your wife said so!
Shadow: En guarde!
[cling clang slash shwoop shwam swipe SWOOSH]
Shadow: I am vanquished!
Tail: Oh, mah poor hart... *exit WIFE*
Shade: I am truly the greatest. End flashback-of-flashback!
[they spin around in circles the other way, and run off-stage]
[enter TAJOMARU]
Shade: There you have it, your honor. I am guilty of the crimes accused of me.
MS: Hey, what happened to that one dagger?
Shade: Oh, in all the excitement, I had forgotten all about it. How foolish.
[exit TAJOMARU]

[enter WIFE]
Tail: That's not how it happened, your honor. THIS is how it happened! Flashback time!
[he spins around in circles and runs off-stage]
[enter TAJOMARU, SAMURAI, and WIFE]
Shade: Now, where are we in this one?
Shadow: Pretty sure this is after the nasty bit.
Shade: Oh... oh, right, right, right. I have had my way with you, woman! Now I shall leave!
[exit TAJOMARU]
Tail: Oh, husband.. I'm so sorry.. please forgive me.
[the SAMURAI looks with scorn]
Tail: Please!
[WIFE unties the SAMURAI]
Tail: Please.. at least kill me so I may be at peace.
[the SAMURAI continues looking with loathing]
Tail: Oh, your expression.. it is so... hurtful... oh, my poor heart. *faint*
[the SAMURAI picks up a dagger, and stabs himself (staged! Of course)]
[WIFE wakes up]
Tail: Oh, foolish me.................. th...that's it. End flashback-of-flashback.
[they spin around in the other direction and run off-stage]

MS: Now, as was apparently customary in Japan back then... we shall now hear from the dead man, himself, through a medium.
[enter MEDIUM (the Tails Doll)]
TD: Yo, everybody. Stand back.. 'cause what you are about to see may scare you. I'm a medium. I happen to dabble in the black arts. This **** is 100% real, you hear me? Some dude was murdered, and now we're gonna use the aforementioned black arts to hear from the dead guy who killed him! And how! Stand back, for I be chargin' mah lazor! Sha-zippity! Sha-zoopity! Shalakaladingdong! A-bippity-bubbly-boo! SHOOP! DA! WHOOP! IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZOR!
[the stage is covered in fog]
TD: Mindfreak.
[enter SAMURAI]
Shadow: You want to know what happened? I'll tell you what happened. Flashback time.
[they spin around in circles and run off-stage]
[enter TAJOMARU, SAMURAI, and WIFE]
Shade: I'm back, suckers! Now, where are we?
Tail: This is the dead guy's story.
Shade: Oh, that part. Gimme the blow-up doll, Dark.
[IMMA ON UR DCA, STEELIN UR GRAPHIC DETAILZ]
Shade: Woman! Travel with me!
Tail: Very well! But, first, kill my husband so I do not suffer the guilt of having two men.
Shade: What?! Samurai! What shall we do? Kill her, or let her go?
Shadow: For these words alone, I'm ready to pardon your crime.
Shade: Um.. thanks.
[WIFE escapes]
Shade: Come back!
[no]
Shade: Aw.
[TAJOMARU sets the SAMURAI free]
[exit TAJOMARU]
Shadow: For no reason whatsoever, I shall now end my life. *STAB* I am vanquished! End flashback!
[he spins around the other way]
[exit SAMURAI]

[enter WOODCUTTER, PRIEST, and COMMONER]
Dark: The medium was lying.
Cham: He was?
Dark: Yeah.
Cham: Oh.
Dark: You see, I saw the crime, myself... but I didn't want to get caught up in the trial.
Chao: *coughbullsheepcough*
Dark: Cough drop?
Chao: Thanks!
Cham: So... so what REALLY happened, Mister Woodcutter?
Dark: I'll tell ya. Flashback time!
[they spin around in circles and run off-stage]
[enter TAJOMARU, SAMURAI, and WIFE]
Shade: *sigh* Okay, where are we?
Shadow: Past the nasty part.
Shade: 'Kay. Marry me, woman!
Tail: Noooooo!
[the WIFE frees the SAMURAI]
Shadow: You fiend... you are lucky that I do not wish to risk my life for such a spoiled woman.
Shade: Tsk, ya got THAT right.
Tail: Shame on both of you! A REAL man would fight for a woman's love!
Shade: ....****, the kid's right.
Shadow: Eh, can't argue with that logic.
Tail: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Shadow: Alright, shut up!
Shade: Uh... wait, this is the story where I don't know how to fight, isn't it?
Shadow: Eah... I had forgotten for a moment.
[they pitifully fight]
[TAJOMARU slays the SAMURAI-- just barely]
Tail: You monster!
[exit WIFE]
Shade: Wait, but you.... ahhhhhhhh!
[exit TAJOMARU, limping]
Shadow: .....uh.. end flashback.
[he spins around in circles the other way, then runs off-stage]

[enter WOODCUTTER, PRIEST, and COMMONER]
Cham: Damn.
Dark: Yeah. That's how it happened, alright.
Chao: It's a pretty strange occurrence, indeed.
Cham: Yeah. ...you wonder if--
[they are interrupted by a baby's crying]
MK: WAAAAAH! WAAAAAH!
Cham: Hey, it's a baby.
Dark: Yeah. SHUT UP!!!
MK: WAAAAAH!
Dark: HEY! I SAID "SHUT UP!"
MK: WAAAAH!
Cham: Hey, some clothes have been left for the baby. ...gimme! *steals*
Dark: Hey-whoa-whoa-HEY, buddy! Don't steal from a baby!
Cham: Pfft, nice try. I know you stole the dagger from the crime scene.
Dark: Well..... maybe.
Cham: Ha! A thief calling another a thief? Typical. All men are fueled by self-interest. I'm outta here.
[exit COMMONER]
Chao: All men.. fueled by self-interest? Ugh.. my head.... I fear my faith in humanity is faltering.
[the WOODCUTTER reaches for the baby]
Chao: What do you think you're doing?
Dark: Take a ride on the chill train, dude. I wanna raise the kid, along with my own. I have six, you see.
Chao: Wow. Caring for others? Sir, you have given me new faith in humanity! Here, have the rugrat.
[the PRIEST gives the WOODCUTTER the baby]
Dark: Thanks, doc. Don't worry; the baby's safe with me. I'm out. Peace!
[exit WOODCUTTER]
[pause]
Dark: ....aw, sweet, free beer! *glug glug glug* Now, where's my car?
[pause]
Chao: ..um.. the end!
[enter ALL]
[All take a bow for the audience's applause]
[exit ALL]



[laughter; standing ovation]
MS: Yes, yes, now shaddup again. We've got more.
[they shut up and sit down]
MS: That was Kurosawa-san's most famous film, "Rashomon."
["Why was it called 'Rashomon?'"]
MS: Oh, that? It's called that because.. the woodcutter, priest, and commoner were standing around the Rashomon temple. We kinda forgot to mention that tiny detail.
[laughter]
MS: Anyway, Rashomon was really influential, 'cause it inspired that whole 'multiple conflicting stories' concept that you saw in the reenactment. Kurosawa-san was also a perfectionist. He'd often work hours and hours trying to get ONE thing right. Hell, for "Ran," he painted the storyboards, himself, for ten years straight.
["He was a painter, too?"]
MS: Yes, he was a painter, too. He was Japanese. What did you expect?
[laughter]
MS: Ah... moving on, he has inspired the likes of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas... and... Adolf Hitler.....
[laughter]
MS: And.. something about "Can't we all just get along?" Or was that Mister King? I can't remember.
[mild laughter]
MS: Sorry, I.. left my note cards at home, and have been kinda.. improvising most of this.
[laughter]
[enter Shade]
Shade: Ouch. Looks like Metal's bombed. Play him off, gang!
[silence]
Shade: ....uh-oh. I'll be right back.
[Shade runs off-stage]
MS: ..it would appear that things are going wrong.
[mild laughter]
[Shade comes back]
Shade: Alright, well... we're experiencing technical difficulties, so... this'll have to do as our memorial to Akira Kurosawa. Hope you enjoyed it!
[applause and whatnot]

THE END! :D

Farewell director
Akira Kurosawa
You were really cool.

1910-1998

The Book of Faces, Week of 3/7 review

So it turns out that the Dark Chao Adventures Book of Faces was updated a few more times last week than I thought, and with some really behind-the-scenes stuff, too! Stuff not even this blog gets! Then again, only two people (not including myself) are fans of DCA on Facebook, so only two people have access to these things. I don't even know if they paid attention, either.

Whatever, I guess I'll just post the top secret behind-the-scenes info on here.

[cut to a close-up of Shadow (chao)'s face, filled with scorn, anger, depression, and.. other emotions]
[majestic, yet somewhat depressing music plays as the camera zooms out oh-so-slowly]
[as it zooms out, it is revealed that Shadow is wearing a crown, and sitting on a throne]
[he is now a full-fledged Dark/Run chao (albeit green)]
[around the throne are many strange characters]
[as it keeps zooming out, Shadow (voice-over) gives a monologue to the viewers]
Shadow (VO): Well........ there I am. Shadow, the Green One.
King of ALL the land, too. Who'd have thought THAT?
But how did I come to this, I hear you ask?
And who are all those strange fellows that surround my throne, I hear you also say.
Come closer, and I'll tell you.
It's a long story. And it all started.... six months ago.
And what a trip THAT was!
It's what I like to call...
My Green Journey.
[the camera reaches about ten feet away from Shadow; two large doors close on the camera]
[fade-out]
["DCA7" appears on-screen in cursive]

Now, TOP SECRET information! Remember DCAHall3? I said I'd make it for 2009, but I wasn't able to? It was gonna be a Left 4 Dead script, too, but I changed that. I've got a much better idea for a Halloween script. I'm gonna be working on it all year. It might not even take place in the future (breaking a beautiful tradition). So far, I've got one scene of it taking place on that highway Shade went on, back in Episode 40. Remember, after he destroyed Aperture Science? Yeah, THAT highway.

Anyway, I can't reveal too much, and I'm Still trying to work on a possibLe promo picture or something... I mean, I'm cErtainly not revealing the bad guy yet. There's a slim chaNce I'll reveal the bad guy in some promotional posts in fall or something... but, there's also a gooD chance I won't rEveal the bad guy at all. Those of you who are smaRt can probably figure out who the bad guy is really quick, then do a Google search, or suMmin'... but, then agAin, people don't even read these posts, aNyway.

Happy Halloween. :P

...

[cut to the Dark Garden, at least 30 years in the future (maybe more)]

[Shade has a cowboy hat, a stubble, and a shotgun]

[he is sitting in a rocking chair, shotgun across his lap]

[his cowboy hat is covering his face, and.. he's sleeping :P]

[as he snores, a loud crash comes from somewhere in the garden]

[Shade jolts up, pointing his shotgun at where the sound came from]

Shade: WUZZAH WHO'S THERE?!

[he looks around, but not a single thing is out of place]

Shade: Oh..... must've been a dream.

[he relaxes]

Shade: I guess I'll... just... rest my eyes a bit more........ *snore*

[he falls asleep again]

[the camera focuses entirely on him as robotic legs are heard moving towards him]

[Shade's eyes open halfway]

?: Thank you for assuming the Party Escort Submission Position.

[Shade then realizes what he's looking at, and faints]

[the screen fades to black]

[noises are heard of something BIG being dragged out of the Dark Garden by a robot]

Coming soon, Projekt: Drattmannc0meth