Two episodes for the price of none!

Okay, sorry for forgetting to post these here.

Dark Chao Adventures
Adventuring since 2005.


Episode Sixty-Eight: Of Frying Pans and Fires

Our story resumes in the Station Square airport, at 2:10.
Chapter 1: Unbound (The Wild Ride)
[Shade, Dark, Shadow, Chao (Dark Chaos Chao), Mecha Knuckles, the Tails Doll, Invader Zim, and GIR are heading to a plane]
Shade: Right. You guys know the plan, right?
MK: Don't worry about it, kid. We're experts at this.
[they enter the airplane]
Shade: Zim, Tails Doll, you two are up.
[Zim and the Tails Doll head into the flight deck; the pilot turns to look at them]
Pilot: What the? What are you doing here?
TD: Greetings, plane driver person. We are from the government.
Zim: The Station Square government!
TD: You see, we are giving out prizes for Best Dancer, Best Pilot, Best Singer, and Biggest A7X Fan.
Zim: I won Biggest A7X Fan.
[Dark shouts: "NUH-UH, I DID!"]
Pilot: I see... and what did I win?
TD: Oh, you didn't win ANYTHING. We just wanted to laugh in your face about that.
Pilot: What?! That can't be right! I demand to speak with whoever is giving out these awards!
Zim: If you wish to speak with him, he is out in the bookstore in the airport mall.
Pilot: Alright. *gets up* Who do I ask for?
Zim: Uh.. um.. uh...
TD: John Smith.
Pilot: Got it. I'll be right back; I've got some "awards" to give out of my own.
[the pilot leaves the plane]
[the others walk into the flight deck]
TD: Wow. That was easier than I thought.
Zim: Yeah, I barely even had to say anything.
Shade: Right! Time, Chao!
Chao: It's.. 2:12.
Shade: We're making good time. Who here can fly a commercial airliner?
Zim: Ooh! Me! Me! Pick ME!
MK: I can fly pretty well.
Shade: Uh.. I think I'm gonna go with Mecha for this one.
MK: Yes! In your face, Zim!
Zim: Shut up, robot!
Shade: Hurry, guys! Time is of the essence!
MK: Of course.
[Mecha takes to the controls]
MK: Uh, hey, control tower, this is, um........ Sigma-Alpha ONE. Are we clear for take-off, over?
CT: This is control tower, you are clear, over.
MK: Awesome. In that case.. and I've been DYING to say this... Thunderbirds are go! ....over.
[Mecha starts up the plane and drives it on the runway; the others carefully watch in anxiety]
[as they go, another plane drives in front of them-- they're gonna collide soon]
MK: Uh.. HEY! YOU! Plane in front of me! Who is that?! I demand to speak with your pilot, over!
[suddenly, Fang the Sniper's voice speaks from the radio]
Fang: 'Sup, Sigma-Alpha One? This is the pilot of Aeroforce Three speaking. Whatchu want, over?
MK: Aeroforce Three, I need the runway clear for take-off, over!
Fang: Well, I guess I could try to steer clear for a bit. Gimme a sec, over.
[Aeroforce Three drives to the side]
MK: Appreciate it, over and out.
[Mecha puts the pedal to the metal, then pulls up; they fly]
MK: We have lift-off, over!
CT: Congrats, Sigma-Alpha One, over.
MK: Hey, Control Tower? How far is Prison Island from here, over?
CT: About.. ten minutes? I suppose, over.
MK: Thanks, over.
[Mecha hits "Autopilot," and turns around in his seat]
MK: Alright, so we'll be there in about ten minutes if we go at normal speed, five if we do it Mecha-style. Any questions?
[the others are staring in awe]
TD: Gotta hand it to you, Mecha.. I never once thought that you could fly a plane.
MK: 'Course I can fly a plane! Flight Simulator taught me.
Shade: So we've got five minutes, then?
MK: Yep. Leave it to me; I'll get us there.
Shade: Chao, how much time left?
Chao: Fifteen minutes.
Shade: So when we're there, we'll have ten minutes to look around for a Chao Transporter, AND to disarm the bomb.
TD: Pfft, that'll be the easy part. The hard part is getting to Prison Island.
Shadow: Well.. what's so hard about it?
TD: I heard they've got a new prisoner.. a REALLY dangerous one, so they're amping up security.
Chao: A new prisoner? Do you know who it is?
TD: Not a clue. I just know he's REALLY bad.
MK: ...well.. I'd better get back to flying.
[Mecha turns back around and flies the plane]
MK: By the way.. hold on tight.
[Mecha hits a button that says "Do Not Hit This Button"]
[the plane starts flying at twice the speed]
CT: Uh.. Sigma-Alpha One, did you just press the Turbo Button, over?
MK: Hell yeah, Control Tower. Over.
CT: What for, over?
MK: It's fun, over.
CT: Huh. Can't argue with that. Carry on, then.. over.
[the plane flies for a few minutes]
?: Hey, Sigma-Alpha One... keep going at that speed, and you're gonna DIE, over.
MK: Up yours, buddy. By the way, who is this, over?
?: Nobody special.. just the King of Dairy Products, over.
[everyone looks at Shade]
Shade: ..he's using a codename. That guy is NOT.. the king.
MK: Hey, is that YOUR name, over?
?: Oh, no, sorry. That's the name of the plane. Sorry. Over.
MK: Oh. Okay. Seriously, who are you, over?
?: I'm just the guy who you kicked out of the plane. That's supposed to be MY plane, over.
MK: Well.. sorry, but we really needed this, otherwise my friends' homes would blow up! Over.
?: Oh, snap, really? Over.
MK: Yeah. Some jerk planted a bomb in their home, and we need to go to Prison Island to save them, over.
?: Damn. That's intense. Alright, sorry for bothering you. Over and out.
Zim: He seemed like a nice guy.
GIR: We should invite him over for tea and cupcakes.
[eventually, they reach Prison Island and land the plane]
Chapter 2: Aisle of Plenty
Shade: Alright, we've got ten minutes! GO!
[they run out of the plane and enter the Prison Island Prison Place]
[they enter the reception.. place... room]
Shade: Hey!
Clerk: Hey.
Shade: Where's the nearest Chao Transporter?
Clerk: That room, there, but it's under repairs.
Shade: Oh, you've GOTTA be kidding me!
Clerk: You can try to fix it, if you'd like.
Shade: Sure, why not?
[they enter the next room and see the broken Chao Transporter]
Shade: Mecha! Check it!
MK: Got it.
[Mecha kicks it]
MK: ...I can fix it, no prob.
Shade: Yes!
MK: BUT I'm gonna need some parts.
Shade: Crap! What parts?
MK: ...a screwdriver, some pliers, and a ham sandwich.
Shadow: Robots don't eat sandwiches.
MK: Well then, why am I ordering one, then, buddy? Stupid.
Shade: Fine! We'll get you your stuff. Dark, Chao, look for the screwdriver.
Dark+Chao: Okay.
Shade: Zim, GIR, look for the pliers.
Zim: Right. Come, GIR!
GIR: But I want some tuna on my sammich!
Shade: Shadow, you and I will get the sandwich.
Shadow: Sure.
TD: What about me?
Shade: Stay here and keep Mecha company.
TD: Fine.
Shade: Let's go!
[they run their seperate ways]
[cut to Chao and Dark in some guard quarters]
Chao: If we were screwdrivers, where would we be?
Dark: Wal-Mart.
Chao: Well, there isn't a Wal-Mart here, so let's--
[Dark points at a nearby Wal-Mart]
Chao: ..oh.
[cut to Zim and GIR in a bathroom]
Zim: Now, then.. those pliers have to be around here somewhere.
GIR: But we's in a bathroom!
Zim: I know that, GIR.. but didn't you know? Human bathrooms are not used the way we use them.
GIR: Then what do humans use 'em for?
Zim: Storage and communication!
GIR: Yay, mah favorite!
[Zim checks inside a bathroom stall]
Zim: Hmm.. nothing in this one. How about THIS one?
[he checks the next one-- PLIERS :D]
Zim: SUCCESS!
[cut to Shade and Shadow walkin' down some cell block]
Shadow: Shade, none of these guys are gonna give us their food.
Shade: That's what YOU think. All we gotta do is get 'em to like us.
Shadow: How would we do that?
Shade: Just watch.
[Shade walks down the block, whistling casually]
[none of the prisoners notice or care; they're all rowdy and whatnot]
[suddenly, a cell phone's ringtone is heard]
[Shade pulls out a giant cell phone]
Shade: HELLO!?!?
[everyone goes quiet]
Shade: WHAT?!
[everyone stares at the chao holding the massive cell phone]
Shade: ....NO, I'M IN PRISON ISLAND!!!
[pause]
Shade: .........PRISON ISLAND!!!
[some prisoners start to chuckle]
Shade: ..YEAH, IT'S RUBBISH!!! TOTAL RUBBISH!!!
[more begin to laugh]
Shade: .......WHAT?! .....I.. I CAN'T HEAR YOU; YOU'RE CRACKING UP!!!
[an uproar begins]
Shade: YOU'RE.. YOU'RE CRACKING UP!!! YEAH!!! CIAO!!!
[Shade puts the huge phone away]
[the prisoners applaud]
Shade: Alright! Alright. Does anybody have a ham sandwich we could have?
[a dozen ham sandwiches are thrown at him (almost like roses onto a stage)]
Shade: Thanks!
[Shade grabs the lot, gets Shadow, and they head back]
[cut back to the Chao Transporter; everyone gathers together and gives Mecha the stuff]
[Shade gives everyone a ham sandwich]
MK: Alright. I should have it fixed by five 'til.
Shade: So we'll have five minutes to defuse the bomb. Plenty of time.
[Mecha works and works and works until he gets it fixed]
MK: All done.
Shade: Great! C'mon, get in!
[they teleport to the Chao Lobby and hurry down to the Dark Garden]
Chapter 3: Let There Be Rock
[five minutes on the clock]
[the bomb is sitting there in the center of the garden]
Shade: Okay. Okay. We're here now. Who is good at defusing bombs?
Zim: Meh. I do 'em all the time.
Shade: Can you do this one?
Zim: Sure, sure.
[Zim walks on over to the bomb and examines it]
Zim: Ugh. It's not a typical bomb... it's all weird-y.
TD: What? You're ****ing us. Let me see.
[the Doll floats on over and examines it]
TD: ...well, **** me. He's right. It IS all weird-y.
Shade: Aw, dammit.. how are we gonna defuse it?
TD: I'd try the usual stuff, but I don't want to risk accidentally setting it off.
Shade: Then WHAT?! What are we gonna do?!
Dark: I have an idea.
Shade: Let's hear it, c'mon!
Dark: Let's show it the real superpower of rock.
Shade: Can we risk it? Do we have short songs?
Dark: Short, but EPIC.
Shade: Come ON, guys! We have four minutes to defuse this ****ing thing, or else we're all

gonna DIE! ANY IDEAS?!
Shadow: How.. how about Sgt. Pepper, plus from my Friends?
Shade: Four minutes and forty-six seconds.. wanna risk it?
All: Sure.
Shade: Okay! Okay. Hit it!
[Dark- guitar (plus backup vocals)]
[Shade- drums (plus backup vocals)]
[Chao- bass (plus backup vocals)]
[Shadow- vocals (plus rhythm guitar)]
[plus bonus instruments by Zim and GIR! 8D]
[they are currently playing Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (The Beatles)]
[they start off wit--no, why am I describing this? Everyone knows this song.]
[in case you don't, then http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoJGDC10lZw ]

Shadow: It was twenty years ago today,
Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play.
They've been going in and out of style,
But they're guaranteed to raise a smile!
So may I introduce to you...
The act you've known for all these years,
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Baaaaaand!

All: We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band,
We hope you will enjoy the show,
We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band,
Sit back and let the evening go!
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely,
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

All: It's wonderful to be here,
It's certainly a thrill.
You're such a lovely audience,
We'd like to take you home with us,
We'd love to take you home!

(Dark's guitar solo in the background)
Shadow: I don't really want to stop the show,
But I thought that you might like to know,
That the singer's going to sing a song,
And he wants you all to sing along.
So let me introduce to you...
The one and only Billy Shears!
And Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Baaaaaand, yeah!

[quickly, they switch up]
[Mecha- Drums]
[Tails Doll- bass]
[Zim- guitar]
[GIR- rhythm guitar (wow, imagine that xD)]
[Dark- vocals]
[the other chao- Backup vocals]
[now they're playing With a Little Help From My Friends (still The Beatles)]
[ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiDmHKvGe4s&feature=related ]

All: Biiiiiiiillyyyyyyy Shears!

Dark: What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,
And I'll try not to sing out of key.

(Parenthesis is Dark-only)
Dark: I get by with a little help from my friends,
I get high with a little help from my friends,
All: (Going to) try with a little help from my friends.

Dark: What do I do when my love is away?
Backup: Does it worry you to be alone?
Dark: How do I feel by the end of the day?
Backup: Are you sad because you're on your own?

All: (No, I get) by with a little help from my friends.
(I get) high with a little help from my friends,
(Going to) try with a little help from my friends.

Backup: Do you need anybody?
Dark: I need somebody to love.
Backup: Could it be anybody?
Dark: I want somebody to love.

Backup: Would you believe in a love at first sight?
Dark: Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time!
Backup: What do you see when you turn out the light?
Dark: I can't tell you, but I know it's mine.

All: (Oh, I get) by with a little help from my friends,
(I get) high with a little help from my friends,
(Going to) try with a little help from my friends.

Backup: Do you need anybody?
Dark: I just need someone to love...
Backup: Could it be anybody?
Dark: I want somebody to love.

All: (I get) by with a little help from my friends,
(Gonna) try with a little help from my friends,
(Get) high with a little help from my friends.
Dark: Yes, I get by with a little help from my friends,
With a little help from my frieeeennnnddds!

[Zim starts playing the opening lick to Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds]
[everyone looks at him]
Zim: ..oh, sorry. I thought we were still going.
[the bomb is still sizzling down]
Shade: Crap. We just wasted most of our time doing that.
Chao: Wait, wait, wait.. did that say "sizzling?"
Shade: Yeah. Why?
[Chao facepalms, then goes over and blows the fuse out]
[everyone cheers; Chao continues facepalming]
MK: Man, kid, you're smart. How did you know to do that?
Chao: MY question is why we didn't check that fuse in the first place.
Chapter 4: Change of the Guard
[Levity Nite and Eggman enter the room]
Nite: Congratulations. You have solved Mephiles' challenge.. can you solve his next?
Shade: You've gotta be kidding me.
Egg: I'm afraid he's not, mah boi. Mephiles has proven to be a worthy opponent... and a worthy bargainer.
Shade: Is he a Veteran now?
Egg: No, although I wouldn't be surprised if he becomes one by the end of the day.
Zim: Foolish egg-person... you are merely letting the demon-boy deal his cards?
Egg: We.. really can't.
Nite: Mephiles has explained his intentions to us, and they do not interfere with our own.
Chao: So you're not even going to stop him from killing SHADOW? I thought he was the one you needed.
Nite: We do not NEED Shadow. He would be very useful to us, but we have backup plans.
Egg: Yes, yes, quite right. Besides, we have reason to believe that you will best Mephiles unaided.
MK: What makes you think THAT?
Nite: For starters, you just did more as a group in an hour than you do individually over a month.
Egg: Trust us, guys. You can do this.
Shadow: And what's in it for us?
Nite: Well... your gardens won't be at risk from being destroyed by Mephiles.
Egg: That, and we know the location of the next two Chaos Drives. We will agree to reveal them to you if you pull this off.
Shadow: ...I'm in.
[the others all agree]
Nite: Glad you accepted. Mephiles has told me to tell you another message.
Shade: Let's hear it.
Nite: *ahem* "I do a lot of bargaining. Let me bargain with YOU. I will not try to harm your gardens, letting you come and
get me. Can you do that? Sure you can. You know where I am, right, Shade? Still, you might want to seriously consider this."
[Shade looks at the others]
[they shrug their shoulders]
Shade: I.. guess we'll accept his bargain.
Nite: Ah, in that case, he has a second message.
Shade: Oh, boy...
Nite: "In case you're wondering about the 'bargain' part of it, I will try to harm YOU. Not your gardens."
TD: Heh. Is that all?
Nite: *checks* ...yes.
TD: Man, this will be freaking EASY.
Nite: Come, Eggman. We must not interfere.
Egg: Al..alright.
[Levity and Eggman leave]
Dark: We can do this, right, Shade?
Shade: Of course. This'll be child's play.
Chao: I dunno.. I mean, he's gonna send everything he has.
Shade: Yeah, but he WON'T be harming the gardens, so we only have to focus on one goal.
MK: So let's hurry up and DO that, already.
Shade: Of course. Right. C'mon, let's go.
[they head out of the Dark Garden, and go to the Exit.. thingy]
Chapter 5: Land of Confusion
[cut to Station Square-- the hotel in it, specifically]
[the gang comes out of an elevator]
TD: ..weirdest teleporter ever.
Shade: I've seen weirder.
MK: Wait, why didn't that one guy you asked a while ago tell you there was a Chao Transporter here in this hotel?
Shade: These are city folk, Mecha.
MK: Oh.
[they leave the hotel]
Zim: Okay, grey Dark chao thing. Where is the demon-man? I want to give him a piece of my mighty pants!
Shade: Don't worry, Zim.. you'll get your chance.
Chao: Shade, do you really know where Mephiles is?
Shade: Actually.. no. No, I don't. I just know he's here in Station Square.
Dark: I thought he was on Earth? In that building? Y'know, that.. that old one?
Shade: I could have sworn that building was here. In Station Square.
Shadow: Wait, you mean that one building where we found Mephiles?
Shade: Yes.
Shadow: That's on Earth. In New Jersey.
[everyone looks at Shade with exasperation]
MK: Great. How are we supposed to get to Earth?
TD: That depends. What planet are we on NOW?
Shade: Some people say it's Mobius, while others say it's Earth. Either way, it's not the Earth that we want.
MK: Then how do we get to the Earth that we want?
Shade: ...let's ask some locals.
[they walk up to some random guy]
Shade: Excuse me, sir?
Man: Yup?
Shade: How do we get to Earth?
Man: The real one?
Chao: No, the one we just made up.
[Shade hits Chao]
Shade: Yes, the real one.
Man: Oh, uh.. I don't know, but.. I know a guy who DOES.
Shade: Anything'll help.
Man: Alright. There's a record store downtown.. an old-school record store owned by a Mister Pirkle. Real name.
TD: This "Mister Pirkle..." he didn't happen to be mayor of any town, did he?
Dark: lolurfbownd
Man: I don't believe so. I dunno. He might have been. Anyway, the record store is called "One for the Vinyl."
Shade: Ooh, I'm liking that name. Thanks for the tip, dude!
Man: Uh-huh.
[they walk away]
[pause]
[they come back]
Shade: Which way is downtown?
Man: That-a way, little man.
Shade: Thanks!
[they hurry down that-a way]
[somewhere down the line, their hurrying is hindered by a horrendously huge helter skelter]
[the helter skelter had fallen down onto the road, blocking passage; a detour must be taken]
Shade: Hold on, guys. Imma gunna ask a policeman where the detour goes.
[Shade asks a policeman where the detour goes]
Shade: ...deep into the wrong side of downtown. The catacombs, you could say.
Dark: The kind of place where every street looks the same, and unsuspecting tourists get lost and eventually die?
Shade: Yep, that kind of place.
Chao: Oh, I'm sure it won't be that bad.
[the camera pans upward, showing a bird's-eye shot of the downtown district]
[it's miles and miles and miles of endless street mazes]
TO BE CONTINUED


Dark Chao Adventures
Adventuring since 2005.


Episode Sixty-Nine: The Super-Long and Super-Exciting Quest

The story resumes in Station Square.
[the chao are walking down a long, winding road]
Dark: Ugh... Shade... how much longer until we get there?
Shade: I.. I don't know, buddy.
[they turn through various streets, and see all the same buildings and all the same cars]
Chao: You idiot, I think we're lost.
Shade: Hey, you're the one who said it wouldn't be that bad.
Chao: ...shut up.
MK: Hey, wait a minute.. why don't I just fly us there? I mean, I've got a flying ability.
GIR: HEY so do I!
Shadow: Wait, why didn't you guys bring this up when we needed to get to Prison Island?
MK+GIR: We.... forgot!
Shade: Alright, fine, fly us.
[so Mecha and GIR fly them into the air]
Shade: Okay.. everyone, look for a shop called "One for the Vinyl."
Dark: Is that it down there? The shop with the giant vinyl record on top?
Shade: ...probably. Let's go down and check.
[Mecha and GIR fly them down to the shop]
[the camera shows a dramatic shot of them standing in front of an old, run-down building]
["One for the Vinyl" is written on the front]
TO BE CONTINUED...

Shade: Wait, is this episode REALLY that short?
TD: Yep. It's a true filler episode.
Shade: ****, man. I didn't think DJay could ever make an episode shorter than episode two.
Chao: I think that was the whole point-- he's making references to older episodes.
Shade: Well... damn! See you guys later, then.

Two-hundredth post! :D

Wow, it looks like the OFFICIAL Dark Chao Adventures Blog has finally reached its 200th post. In celebration of this, I... do not have anything to give. :P Well, okay, so I have the next episode of DCA. This is part three of Quinquenquoi, filled to the brim with references and jokes. Enjoy!

OH WAIT! *ahem*

What does it mean to have an official blog?

For me, having an official blog means we're going somewhere. It means we're bigger than nothing. :D And do you know what my FAVORITE part of this blog is? The fact that I didn't make it. That's right. The fact that the wonderfully lovely Invader mLe started this blog.. with her bare hands. Kinda-sorta. I mean... she decided to set up a small little blog to advertise my humble little fan script. Now it's around two years old and has two hundred posts.

Of course, then there's the fact that she invited me to be an admin. That's.. that's awesome. ^_^ That means I'm a somebody. xD People actually think I can write. Then again, that's more of what it means to have a fan-script, which I will go over in another post, coming sometime in the next week.

BACK ON-TOPIC! I.. I love you guys. :D Even though nobody ever reads this, it's still nice to know I have a little way to.. to FEEL like I'm professional. To feel like I still have fans. I'm sure I still do, but.. nobody ever says anything. And through all the hail, the storm, the Earth, the wind, and the fire and flames... I'll always give people something to read. If there are no new episodes of DCA up, then there's always this blog. This blog has two hundred posts. Two. Hundred. Most of it's stuff only I've read, but if anyone ever wants something to read, they can skim through the archives and realize, Wow... this kid is crazy. Heh.. haha... he wrote, like.. a hundred and ninety posts on this blog. He's so crazy! And then I can die happily, knowing I've made people laugh.

Actually, I can die happily anyway, knowing I've made a successful UNDERGROUND fan script. Underground. :D So underground that only a select few people even KNOW about it. But MOST IMPORTANTLY... I can die happily knowing that I have (and have had) such wonderful fans. People like Multichao, PaperBowser, Doom, Eliwood, and Invader mLe. =) Thanks a bunch, guys. I.. I guess now... I just miss you.

Anyway, that's my ramble for today. Please.. enjoy the next episode of Dark Chao Adventures.

Dark Chao Adventures
Adventuring since 2005.

Episode Sixty-Seven: Take One to the Ballgame, and You Have to Take 'Em All


Our story resumes in the Chao Lobby.
Chapter 1: The Sky is Fallin'
[Dark, Shade, Shadow, and Doctor Eggman are there]
Shade: Dark, what do you MEAN a meteor is falling, and it's gonna hit the Dark Garden?
Dark: I.. I mean exactly that! Exactly what you just said!
Shade: I... I... I gotta take a look at this for myself.
[Shade runs down the stairs; the others follow]
[cut to the Dark Garden; the sky is turning red as a giant meteor is seen falling towards the garden]
[Chao, now a Dark Chaos chao, is there, too]
Dark: See? That!
Shade: Okay. Okay. Stay calm. Uhhhhh.... hrrrm, how did we stop the ARK when it fell that one time?
Chao: You didn't. I recall it hitting the Earth, but not creating much of an impact.
Shadow: Then that should happen this time, right?
Shade: No. This meteor is on fire. The ARK was not on fire.
Chao: Plus, compared to this, the ARK was a small pea.
Dark: Shade, we don't have time for this!
Shade: Ack! You're right! But who could help us stop something like this?
Shadow: Not Sonic, THAT'S for sure.
[Eggman chuckles]
Egg: That's.. that's a good one.
Shade: Hmmmmm... who can help?
[Shade stands, thinking]
Shade: ....OF COURSE! Eggman, take us... to San Francisco!
Egg: Mmkay.
Chapter 2: Victim of Changes
[cut to San Francisco, California]
[the gang appears outside a house]
[Shade rings the doorbell]
Shadow: Are you sure this person will be able to help us?
Shade: He HAS to be.
[the door opens]
?: Eh?! WHO is disturbing my ME time? I am TRYING to plot ways to DESTRRRROYYY THE HUUUMANNNS!
??: HEY ASK 'EM IF THEY WANT SOME MUFFINS!
[it's Zim! You know! From Invader ZIM!]
[and good ol' GIR, too]
Shade: Zim, we need your help. A meteor is--
Zim: Well, OF COURSE you need the help of the great ZIIIM!
Shade: Y.. yeah, we do. You see--
Zim: But maybe the great ZIM doesn't WANT to help you, pathetic egg-baby!
GIR: Awww, c'mon, look at them! They're so cute! We should help them!
Zim: "Cute?" "Cute" means NOTHING to an Irken invader. Do you hear me? NOTHING!
GIR: Don't worry, guys! We-za gonna help you!
Shade: Listen, okay? A meteor is gonna hit the Dark Garden any minute now. We need you to whip up something cool to help.
Zim: Hahahaha! Is that all? Very well, silly creature. I will stop your big, bad meteor for you.
Shade: And.. could you maybe do it, like... now?
Zim: Alright, alright.
[Zim gets his Voot cruiser spaceshipamabobber and... gets to the Dark Garden somehow]
[the others follow]
[out in space, Zim flies around the meteor for a bit]
Zim: Okay, you freakishly large meteor.. thing. How about I start you off with a shove?
[Zim presses a button, and a giant robot hand extends out of his ship and smacks the meteor]
[it is sent flying into the nearby sun]
[he lands the Voot cruiser down in the Dark Garden and gets out]
Shade: Thanks a lot, Zim. We were pretty worried about that for a second.
Zim: Eh. It was no problem for the great ZIM!
Shade: ..so, why haven't you been here in a while? Why don't you come visit?
Zim: Oh, you know, I'm.. busy. Gotta try to make ends meet ever since I got fired from Nickelodeon.
Dark: Worst thing they ever did.
Shade: No, Dark. The worst thing they ever did was get rid of a BUNCH of shows, not just Zim.
GIR: I miss Rocket Power!
Shade: So, Zim, have you.. gotten some kind of job?
Zim: What?! ME? Get a JOB?! Like a HUMAN?! I would never! ...I sell pies.
Shade: Oh, cool. Seriously, why don't you ever visit? I'm sure you could make a funny villain from time to time.
Zim: Oh, I don't know. I might try to.. from now on. Maybe.
[in comes Levity Nite]
Nite: Shade, Shadow... oh, hey, Zim.
Zim: Hey, how ya doin'?
Nite: Shade, Shadow.. Mephiles has relayed a message to you.
Shadow: What's the message?
[Levity pulls out a piece of paper]
Nite: "You fools think you're the stars of DCA, huh? Well, we'll see just how good you are at braving the show, won't we?"
Shadow: What? What the heck is he talking about?
Shade: He's gonna give us some blasts from the past. From that room, he can do pretty much anything.
Nite: Hey, Doctor? May I have a word with you?
Egg: Uh.. sure.
[Eggman heads out of the room with Levity]
Chapter 3: Man on the Edge
[cut to Mephiles' base of operations]
Mp: Hmm.. what should I send at them next?
Nite: How about an apology?
[Mephiles turns and sees Levity Nite and Eggman]
Mp: I should have expected you fools to break in here.
Egg: You should not be in here, Mephiles. This building was shut down for a reason.
Mp: Heh heh heh... so now it looks like I have a bargaining chip, huh?
Egg: You.. you want to join us?
Nite: Eggman was a special case, Mephiles. We had lost a member, and Eggman proved himself to be worthy.
Mp: Well.. if I can't join the Veteran's Committee.. then I will bomb the Gardens to the ground.
Nite: You DO know we were trying to end this show, anyway, right?
Mp: So I won't get any opposition. Muh huh huh... yeah, I knew that.
Egg: But.. but you can't!
Nite: Why not? We WERE gonna end the show.
Egg: But.... I mean... but... argh. I.. I've got to warn the chao.
[Eggman teleports away]
Nite: ......
[cut back to the Dark Garden; Eggman appears]
Egg: You guys have got to get out of here! Quickly!
Shade: Why? What's wrong?
Egg: Mephiles is going to bomb these gardens!
[a chill runs down Shade's spine]
Shade: Much like the Grey Journey...
[BAM-- a bomb appears in the center of the garden]
Shade: RUN!
Egg: No need!
[Eggman snaps his fingers, and the bomb disappears]
Chao: ..wow, where were you a couple seasons ago?
Egg: He'll probably send another unless we stop him.
Shade: Let us come with you.
Zim: Yes! I wish to see Mephiles again... it has been a while.
Egg: Okay...
[cut back to Mephiles' base of operations]
[Levity has gone; Eggman, Shade, Dark, Shadow, Chao, Zim, and GIR appear]
Shade: Mephiles!
Zim: Odd demon hog thing!
Mp: Ah, Shade.. AH, hello, Zim. Come to watch me destroy the gardens?
Shade: Mephiles, you don't have to do this!
Mp: You're right; it's a total waste. However, I DO have to do... THIS!
[Mephiles hits a button; the others are teleported to...]
Chapter 4: For Absent Friends
[Stardust Speedway Zone, Act II]
[the Eggman statue toward the end]
Chao: *gasp* The Stardust Eggman...
Shade: I'm glad he sent us here. We could use the Poker Gang.
[they enter the Stardust Eggman and find Mecha Knuckles and the Tails Doll sitting in a corner, bored]
MK: What do you wanna do today?
TD: Stare at the wall.
GIR: HAI GAIZ! HI, WALL! :D
MK: Hey, it's you guys!
TD: Have you guys seen the boss?
Shadow: Metal Sonic? Well.. last I saw him, he fell off the Egg Citadel, but that's thirty years from now.
TD: Then where is he NOW?
Shadow: I dunno.
MK: Anyway, what's up? You guys need something?
Shade: As a matter of fact, we do. Mephiles has gone crazy and is trying to destroy everyone. Wanna help us stop him?
[Mecha and the Doll hop up]
MK: Do we?!
TD: Dude, we've had nothing to do ever since Metal disappeared! We've been DYING for something to do!
MK: Yeah! Let's rock and roll!
Egg: Very well. Let's go back to Mephiles, then.
[cut to Station Square; everyone appears there]
All: Huh?
Egg: Funny... I can't seem to get us any closer than this.
Shade: He must be blocking your teleportamajigger ability...
MK: Oh, he is SO dead. Okay, where is this building of his?
Shade: Uh.. I'm pretty sure it's... this way.
[Shade leads the gang down multiple blocks]
Dark: Are we there yet?
Shade: Um.. not.. quite.
Chao: Are we lost?
Shade: Shut up, Chao.
[they keep walking down even more blocks]
[eventually, they reach a beach]
Dark: Station Square has a beach?
Chao: Apparently so.
MK: Kid. You have no ****ing clue where you're going, do you?
Shade: N..not really.
[everyone groans]
[Levity Nite appears]
Nite: It's a good thing you're down here. Mephiles has another message.
Shade: Great. Let's hear it.
Nite: "You might want to spend less time hunting ME down and more time hunting your gardens. You have one hour."
Shadow: This is a troubling situation, isn't it?
Nite: Eggman, I must speak with you. Come with me, for this is urgent.
Egg: S..sure.
[Eggman leaves]
Shade: ..oh, crap, now he can't teleport us back!
TD: Somehow, I think Levity Nite did that on purpose.
Shadow: Do you think Mephiles is affiliated with the Veteran's Committee now?
Shade: No time to speculate. We only have an hour to do this.
MK: Listen to yourself, kid! "Only an hour!" Harharhar! An hour is plenty of time.
Shade: Not when we're lost at some beach in Station Square, and have to get back and defuse a bomb without Eggman's help.
MK: It's still easy.
Zim: Yes, you silly chao! You simply have to think with the resources given to you.
Shade: WHAT resources?
[Mecha, the Doll, Zim, and GIR clear their throats]
Shade: ..oh... right.
Chapter 5: Counting Out Time
[cut to the gang wandering around the streets by the beach, asking people where the nearest Chao Transporter is]
[they regroup after some queries]
Shade: Report.
MK: I got nothing.
Chao: I got some rumors on one on Prison Island.
Dark: I got a rock.
Shade: Prison Island. *sigh* Great.
TD: You sound disappointed. It won't be that bad. We've just gotta look for a plane of sorts.
Shade: Zim, what about your Voot Cruiser?
Zim: Uh.. right, of course. GIR!
GIR: Yes, my master?
Zim: Where did you park the Voot Cruiser?
GIR: The what?
Zim: The.. the Voot... y'know... our ship!
GIR: What's it look like?
Zim: It's.. it's purple.
GIR: Oh, that?
Zim: Yeah, that.
GIR: What about it, again?
Zim: Where did you park it?
GIR: In a lake.
Zim: WHAAAAT?!
GIR: Yeah!
Zim: WHY?!
GIR: "Why" what?
Zim: Why did you park the Voot cruiser in a lake?!
GIR: The what now?
Zim: The.. the purple thingy!
GIR: What about it?
Zim: WHY did you park the purple thingy in a lake?!
GIR: 'Cause!
Zim: "'Cause" what?!
GIR: Mister Demon Guy told me to!
Shade: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Mephiles told you to dump the Voot Cruiser in a lake?
GIR: Yup!
Shade: Damn. He's good.
Shadow: I agree. He is.. he is really good.
GIR: Who we talkin' about?
Shadow: Mephiles.
GIR: Who's that?
Shadow: The demon guy.
GIR: Oh, yeah. What about him?
Shadow: He's really good.
GIR: Yeah. He is. ^___^
Shade: ARGH, we don't have time for this!
[Shade runs up to a random person]
Shade: Excuse me, sir? Which way to the nearest airport?
Man: That-a way. *points somewheres*
Shade: Thanks! Everyone, follow me!
[they run along the roads for a while; Dark stops suddenly]
Shadow: Dark, what's wrong?
[everyone else stops]
[Dark points at a giant ice cream parlour]
Dark: I'm hungry.
Shade: Dark! We don't have the time! We've only got about.. three quarters of an hour!
Dark: But the iiiice creeeeaaaam! D:
Shade: AH! Fine! Fine.
[they get some ice cream]
Shade: There! Better?
[Dark holds up his hand in opposition, then finishes his ice cream]
Dark: Okay! Better.
Shade: Good! Let's go!
[they continue running]
[after a while of running, they reach the airport]
[they enter]
Chao: Oh, great.
Shade: What? What's wrong now?
Chao: We've still got to go through customs.
Shade: *grrrooooaaaaan* Great.
[they stand in line for about ten minutes (half an hour left now)]
[they reach the reception.. clerk... place]
Clerk: Hello, how may I help you?
Shade: Uh.. yes, hello. We'd like eight tickets to, um.. the.. 2:30 flight to Prison Island.
Clerk: 2:30 flight leaves in half an hour. You sure you can make it in time?
[Shade turns to the others and shrugs his shoulders]
Shade: I guess we'll take it.
Clerk: Alright. That'll come to about.. two thousand dollars.
Shade: Two thousand clams? *pays the man* Highway robbery.
[they move through the airport]
Shadow: Where the heck did you get two thousand dollars, Shade?
Shade: Let's just say the Tooth Fairy owed me one.
[they enter the food court and see a clock-- 2:03]
TD: Huh. We've got twenty-seven minutes 'til the flight leaves, and 'til the gardens blow up.
MK: Man, how are we gonna pull this off?
Shade: I've been thinking about that one. ...yeah, uh, seven cheeseburgers and fries, please. Dark, what do you want?
Dark: I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6-- with extra dip, a number 7,
[the others turn to look at Dark]
Dark: Two number 45s-- one with cheese, and a large soda.
[they get their food and find a table]
Shade: Anyway, I was thinking... *chomp* maybe we could.. and you might call me crazy at this... *munch*
[the others lean closer]
Shade: I was thinking we could hijack the plane. *chomp* ..aw, MAN, this stuff is GOOD!
MK: Well.. I'm in.
TD: Yeah, sure. I mean, we've done worse.
Zim: Hijacking a human aerial ship? Ooh, neat!
GIR: I didn't get a toy with my meal. :c
Chao: I.. I suppose I'm up for it.
Dark: Ready to roll, sarge.
Shadow: Hey, anything that'll get me those chaos drives, right?
Shade: Alright... it's settled. We hijack the plane in five minutes.
[Dark burps]
Shade: ...seven minutes. When we're all done with our food. Be ready, 'cause...
[close-up of Shade]
Shade: This is gonna be fun.
TO BE CONTINUED...

Quinquenquoi part two!

Dark Chao Adventures
Adventuring since 2005.

Episode Sixty-Six: Un Film Gris

Our story resumes in the endless void.
Chapter 1: I'm Only Sleeping
[Shade is talking with Levity Nite, Echo, and Doctor Eggman]
Shade: What do you mean my father is dying?
Nite: Shawn is being slowly killed by some form of.. well... see for yourself.
[Shade is "dropped off" in a small hut on the Chao World]
Shade: Dad..
[Shawn the Dark is lying in bed, visibly ill]
Shawn: Shade.. you made it.
Shade: They told me just in time.
[Shawn looks around, suspiciously]
[Shade comes a little closer; Shawn speaks in a low whisper]
Shawn: Did they follow you?
Shade: I don't think so.
Shawn: Listen, I'm.. I'm not going to die. My mind is just.. well.. it's freaking out.
Shade: ..Levity mentioned that this was 'cause of some symptom of something. What the heck is going on?
Shawn: I'm not entirely sure, but I.. I'm not going to fear the worst! I'm not gonna die.
Shade: Dad. You know. What is going on?
Shawn: I... I really can't tell you.
Shade: Hmm... one last thing, though. Why are you here, on the Chao World?
Shawn: I was on vacation for a bit.
Shade: Oh. Okay. Well.. I'll check on Cham now.
[Shade leaves the house, and is then taken back to the void]
Echo: Well?
Shade: He's a tough one. I don't think he'll die. Can you guys take me to see Cham?
Egg: Mah boi, we can take you ANYWHERE.
Chapter 2: Another One Bites the Dust
[Shade is then '"dropped off" in the Neutral Garden]
Shade: Cham? You there, dude?
[Cham is heard hacking and coughing from behind the waterfall]
[Shade heads back there]
Shade: Hello, Cham?
Cham: Sh...Shade? *hack wheeze* That you?
[Cham is lying on the cave floor, grabbing his chest]
Cham: Kid.. I.. I'm dying, kid.
Shade: Are you sure? How bad is it?
Cham: It's.. it's deathly.
Shade: C'mon, describe it. What are you feeling?
Cham: My.. my legs feel like they're.. st..stretching... almost... and my.. arms, too...
Shade: What about your head? Any strange new thoughts?
Cham: Everything's going black... I.. I don't know.. what's happening.....
Shade: No, c'mon, stay with me!
Cham: It's.. it's..... no use, kid..... I can't... I.. I can't... I... I can't..... I.... I can't........
Shade: You can't what?
[Cham closes his eyes]
Shade: Cham!
Nite: He's gone, Shade. Come on. We've got work to do.
[Levity Nite had entered the cave]
Shade: You.. you guys can bend the script. Can't you make him alive again?
Nite: If we tried, the other force would bend it back, and he'd die. Please, come. We need your assistance.
Chapter 3: Another Brick in the Wall
[cut to the Dark Garden]
[Dark, Red, and Shadow have been building a wall seperating the Garden into two]
[enter Doctor Eggman]
Egg: What in the name of Seargent Pepper are you boys doing?
Red: Eggman! Come to this side of the garden, over here.
Chao: No, Doctor, please.. come to MY side of the garden.
Egg: ...
[Eggman goes to Red's side]
Red: Yes! In your face, Chao!
[Eggman approaches Shadow]
Egg: Shadow, we may need you for a second.
Shadow: Sure, what is it?
Egg: Come with me.
[Eggman leads Shadow out, and into CPAK]
Shadow: What's going on?
Egg: It's Echo. He's a little... under the weather.
Shadow: Where is he?
Egg: We put him in the clinic.
[they open the door to the clinic and find it empty]
Egg: WHAT THE?
[Levity Nite walks in, with Shade]
Nite: How's Echo doing?
Egg: He's gone!
Nite: WHAT?!
[Nite runs into the room, and looks around]
Nite: Not a trace. I.. I have to tell the others.
[Levity disappears]
Shade: Hmmm...
Shadow: What's up?
Shade: I think I might have a theory as to what's going on. But.. I need more evidence. Eggman.
Egg: Yes, mah boi?
Shade: Could you take me to Earth?
Egg: Um.. I suppose so. Where on Earth?
Shade: A specific place.
Chapter 4: The End of the Line
[cut to outside a run-down building in some city somewhere]
[enter Shade, Shadow, and Eggman]
Egg: This is the place you wanted, right?
Shade: Without a doubt.
Shadow: Shade... what is this place?
Shade: Long story. C'mon.
[they enter the building-- a main room, three doors]
Shade: I believe it's this door, right here.
[locked]
Shade: Hrm. So maybe my theory was incorrect.
[Shade tries another door, and it opens]
[inside this room are a few empty jail cells]
Shade: Look for anything of interest.
Shadow: Like these jail cells?
[Shade takes a second look at them]
Shade: .......yes.
[he carefully examines one]
Egg: So they're jail cells.
Shade: Not JUST jail cells....
[Shade holds a padlock]
Shade: ..empty, LOCKED jail cells.
Shadow: Locked? You serious?
Shade: Interesting. Let's check out the next room.
[they leave that room and enter the final door]
[it's a utility closet]
Shade: Huh. Okay, you two, look for keys.
[they find some keys, and unlock the cells-- nothing different]
Egg: What about this door?
[Shade tries the keys on the door-- nothing works]
Shade: Well, that's peculiar.
Shadow: Can't open it?
Shade: Won't budge.
[Shade presses his ear.. area to the door, listening in]
Shade: ....I hear voices. Eggman, can't you teleport us in there?
Egg: I.. I COULD, yes.
Shade: Do it.
Chapter 5: Prophets of War
[they appear in a dark room; no lights are on, no windows are anywhere; it's pitch-black]
Shadow: Awfully dark room, isn't it?
Shade: Let's look for a light switch.
Egg: What about those voices you said you heard?
Shade: ..oh, yeah. Shh.
?: It's good to be back. Isn't it, Shade?
Shade: Who are you?
?: You know who I am, fool.
Shade: Mephiles!
Mp: Correct. Welcome to my newest diabolical scheme... one that will undoubtedly finish you pests off.
Shade: Why are you still trying to kill us?
Mp: For one thing, I haven't appeared in this season since the boring episodes.
Shade: So make some more appearances!
Mp: DJay forgot about me. Now I'm gonna show him why he should NEVER forget me.
Egg: But there are tons of villains in this show by this point. I'm sure it's hard to remember all of them!
Mp: But I was one of the earlier ones!
Shadow: What are you trying to do, anyway?
Mp: Heh heh heh...
[Mephiles hits a switch]
[televisions turn on all across the room, giving off a blue glow]
Shadow: So.. what? You can monitor everything now?
Mp: Oh, I don't want to monitor you. Actually, I want to do... THIS!
[he presses a button, and the chao (plus Eggman) suddenly find themselves in the Chao Lobby]
Egg: That darn Mephiles!
Shadow: What was he trying to do?
Shade: I.. I don't know, but whatever it is, I hope it's not too huge.
[Dark runs out to them]
Dark: SHADE! SHADE!
Shade: What is it, Dark?
Dark: A meteor's falling, and it's gonna hit the Dark Garden!
TO BE CONTINUED...

Happy Quinquennial, DCA! :D

Dark Chao Adventures
Adventuring since 2005.

Episode Sixty-Five: Chao Back in Space

Chapter 1: In the Presence of Enemies, Part 1
[cut to an endless void]
[Levity Nite is speaking with someone]
Nite: ..mhmm. Okay. Got it. Yep. Yep. Cool. Can do.
[Levity then teleports all the chao to the void]
Shade: Wait, what?
Shadow: What the?
Red: What's happening?
Dark: Who are you people, and where is my horse?
Nite: It would seem that.. it would be very much wise to give you kids the day off.
Shadow: ...wait, WHAT?
Nite: Yes. You see, it has come to our attention that Dark Chao Adventures was first written five years ago.
Shade: ****, has it been that long already?
Nite: Very much so. In commemoration, we wanted to let you take................. a break.
Red: But--
[the chao are then teleported into the Chao Lobby]
Chapter 2: Jump in the Fire
[the chao sit in silence for a little bit]
Dark: The crap just happened?
Shade: I think.. we just got cut some slack.
Red: But.. but that's impossible! We.. we COULDN'T have been! There must be some kind of catch!
[Echo appears]
Echo: We knew you'd be understandably suspicious. Your chaos drive is in the Dark Garden.
Dark: Buh forreal d'oh
Echo: I AM being for real, Dark. Grab it when you are done with your break. Enjoy.
[Echo leaves]
Red: ****! I KNEW there was a catch!
Shade: Red! Red. Calm down. He said the DARK Garden.
Red: Yes! I know!
Dark: Freaking Veteran's Committee, man.
Red: Totally...
Shadow: Guys, what the heck is your problem?
Red: We.. never DID tell you what happened while you were gone on your two-year espionage mission, did we?
Shadow: Oh yeah, Chao took over the garden. I completely forgot.
Shade: This'll be easy. We can take him, no sweat.
Dark: But you don't understand!
[Shade and Shadow waltz on in to the Dark Garden]
Chapter 3: Dazed and Confused
[the ground is still grey]
[the walls are still old]
[the tombstones and creepy trees are still there]
[the water is still red]
[the Garden is still Dark]
Shade: Dude... the Garden, it's... YOU!
Dark: When you put it that way, it sounds cool.
Chao: Shade? Shadow? What are you guys doing here?
Shade: Chao, you crazy son of a-- where the heck ARE you?
Chao: I'm standing right here, in front of you.
Shade: Where? Behind this Dark chao? ..speaking of, who IS this guy?
Chao: .......
Shade: .......
Chao: .......
Shade: ...NOOOOOOOOO WAYYYYYYYY
Shadow: Well... THAT'S a plot twist if I've ever seen one.
[Chao is now a normal Dark chao, but not just ANY normal Dark chao...]
Shade: Chao. I am going to freaking.. PUNCH you. In the.. in the... badass horns.
Shadow: Chao.. how the heck did you manage to become a Chaos chao?
Chao: Simple. I know how to take care of myself.
Shade: Like HELL, you do. We've been out there, saving LIVES.. not including our own.
Shadow: I KILLED METAL SONIC.
Shade: We've infiltrated more buildings than you've even seen in your freaking LIFE!
Chao: Yes, but Uncle Shadow has been gathering the finest animals and chaos drives for me.
Shade: So you've been pampered to royalty.
Chao: Someone's jealous.
Shade: In both senses of the word.
Chao: Shade, I'm fit by NATURE to be the leader of the Dark Garden now.
Shade: Yeah, well, I'm fit by ANCESTRY to be the leader of the Dark Garden now.
Chao: Prove it.
[the screen fades to old pictures of Dark chao as Shade voices over things]
Shade (VO): The Dark Garden was founded long ago by MY ancestors. The original Fountaneers. The folks like Echo and...
the.. other guy, who is my ancestor. Then there was Shawn. You remember him. The MILKMAN. My father. He was the lord of the
Dark Garden before me, then when he got too old, he passed the dynasty down to me.
?: Shade.
Chapter 4: In the Presence of Enemies, Part 2
[back in the Dark Garden, Echo is standing at the door]
Echo: It would seem your break is not going as planned.
Shade: Hell, no. Could you get this loser out of the Garden, please?
Echo: No can do, former lord of the Dark Garden.
Shade: I'm STILL the lord.
Echo: You haven't been for the last two years.
Shade: What do you want? You guys only show up when something REALLY important is happening.
Nite: Something really important IS happening.
[Levity Nite steps into the Garden]
Shade: Levity...
Nite: In our efforts to stop this script, we came across a wholly unexpected new development.
Echo: In fact, the development has various symptoms.. including the reason why we had to pull you out of Euphoria so fast.
Shadow: DCA's fifth anniversary?
Shade: Are you trying to say that TIME is the development?
Nite: No, we pulled you out of there because a fugitive is loose in that city.
Echo: This fugitive has the ability to bend the script at will. We had to get you out of there before...
Shade: Before what?
Echo: Before.... you became the catalyst for further destruction.
Nite: If the fugitive is able to speak with you, he would be able to bend the script to get to us.
Echo: Or worse!
Nite: There's no telling what he would do, actually.
Echo: We simply HAD to evacuate you as quickly as possible.
Shadow: But.. what about the chaos drive that was deep down there?
Egg: My boy, do you not know WHAT a chaos drive IS?
[in walks Doctor Eggman]
Egg: Neither do we, honestly, but I am trying to say there are more than seven of them in existence. Far more.
Shadow: Eggman! Are you..?
Egg: Harharhar, yes. You see, one of the Veteran's Committee members has... passed away, so they needed another member.
Shadow: Well... congratulations.
Egg: Thank you.
Chao: Uh.. hey, guys? Could we wrap this up soon?
Egg: Oh, yes, of course. This new development will be coming up surprisingly shortly.
Shadow: HOW surprisingly?
Echo: Couple of serials.
Red: Well, that's not too bad.
Nite: The symptoms of the development will become increasingly evident as you continue through your adventures.
Echo: Eventually, the symptoms will be so big that you won't know what's meant to happen and what's not.
Shadow: So.. you guys are losing control?
Egg: I'm afraid so. There's no telling where this development will go, but we can only fear the worst.
Shade: Do you know exactly what we're dealing with, here?
Nite: We don't have a 100%-positive ID yet, but we've got a logical theory.
Shade: Okay, now why did you send us HERE, why did you just now come here to tell us this, and... yeah!
Nite: We learned that a chaos drive was held here, in the Dark Garden.
Echo: We just now came to tell you of this because... well...
Egg: Which one of us is going to tell him?
Nite: How about all of us at once?
Egg: Sounds good, yeah.
Echo: Let's do it. Three, two, one...
All: Shawn's dying.
Shade: WAT
Egg: I'm so sorry to have to tell you this.
Shade: WAT
Echo: We've been keeping a close eye on him, but.. he's bound to go any day now.
Shade: WAT
Nite: He is dying from a symptom of the developments mentioned earlier.
Shade: WAT
Egg: We realize this must be hard for you.
[Shade holds back some tears]
Shade: I've.. I've got to help him. I've got to find some way to.. cure him, or avenge him, or.. HELP.
Nite: Then you'd better come with us.
TO BE CONTINUED...

Some concerns of mine.

Alright, so a couple of things are bothering me right now.

First of all, there's DCAHall3. I freaking love working on it, and I think it has the potential to be a good story (even if I replaced all the chao with random characters), but I hardly think anyone's gonna read it. So I'm gonna advertise Dark Chao Adventures a little more. I'm gonna tell people about it. I'm gonna go to random forums and post it. ...I.. I think I'm gonna try GameFAQs. No. No, Jordan. Stop. Think rationally for a second.

Well, anyway.. my second concern is DCA714.. y'know, the next REAL episode of DCA? Part two of SHOCKED!!! ? Well, I haven't even started it yet. I think.. I think making this serial a Bioshock one was kind of a bad idea. I mean, don't get me wrong; Bioshock is a great game and all, but.. for one thing, I've never finished it. xD Secondly, it's just.. not... fit for the chao. Maybe I should change it up an octave? Hell, I had been planning on using that shocking plot twist seen at the end of the last eppy as a springboard into brand-new developments.

Hmmm... perhaps I'll just leave the main series sitting here for a bit, and focus on my two current plots: advertisement and DCAHall3. I mean, I've got pretty big plans for this special. Why do you think I started it so early? It's 'cause I want it to be a true monolith.

HMMMMMM.... maybe I should make the next episode of DCA a really short one? xD Just to shake things up a bit? ..I'll probably just wait until some advertising is done. We'll see if I can establish a stable fanbase again.

Stay on the scene like a sex machine, everybody. :D -DJay32

The ultimate promotional phrase...

"I did see him." -DCAHall3

This is a Press Release Document

Presenting a new script from the creator of Pelottaa Scary Stuff and Gears n' Roses...

Dark Chao Adventures Halloween 2010: Slender Nightmares of the Subterranean

For Halloween this year, the chao won't have time to celebrate... for it will take place right smack dab in the middle of Season Seven! Tale One will involve a serious threat taken right from the darkest corners of the internet... and Tale Two will send the chao deep underground, where claustrophobia is not the only thing our 'heroes' will have to fear.

Some chaos drives simply aren't worth getting...

Coming October 31st, 2010

More information to come.

Somewhere.... beyond the sea! Somewhere, waiting for me...

What happened last time on DCA?
Shadow, the green Dark chao, is the star. He must get seven green chaos drives.
Shade, Dark, and Red are helping him.
They need the chaos drives in order to stop the Veteran's Committee from ending the show.
Of course, the Veteran's Committee has sorta... hired Shadow to get the drives for their own gain.
Last time we checked on him, Shadow had just acquired his second chaos drive.
Let's find out where Shadow's adventures will take him next, today on...

DARK CHAO ADVENTURES
Season Seven: The End (aka Season Six part two)
Episode Sixty-four: SHOCKED!!! (A Riveting Tale of Oceanic Excitement!) part one: There's a Secret in the Sea...


Chapter 1: Somewhere, Beyond the Sea...
[cut to the void]
[the chao wake up from stasis]
Shadow: *YAAAAWWWWWWWN* Ah.. mmm... huh. Hey, guys, wake up.
[Shade, Dark, and Red wake up]
Red: I wonder where.. where we're going next.
Shadow: If my memory serves, it was something like.. the Atlantic Ocean.
Shade: Aw, geez... I can guess where this'll be.
[Levity Nite appears]
Nite: And you will undoubtedly guess wrong.
Shade: I will?
Nite: Yes. It would appear we have made a minor miscalculation as to where the next chaos drive resides.
Shadow: Really?
Nite: Yeahh.. you see, our anonymous source told us the Atlantic Ocean... but then we checked it out for ourselves.
Red: Go on.
Nite: There is a Chao Transporter at the exact coordinates we were given.
Shade: A Chao Transporter? So.. it's in the Gardens?
Nite: It seemed so. We followed our anonymous tip even further to a Chao GBA thingy.
[Shade and Dark fall silent with fear]
Shadow: Yes, and then?
Nite: A certain option was highlighted onscreen. "Goodbye."
Shadow: So.. so the next chaos drive.. is on the Chao World?
Nite: As far as we are certain, yes.
Shadow: Did you investigate any further than that?
Nite: You weren't gone that long, you know. BUT, we WERE able to find one thing out..
Shadow: Yuh-huh?
Nite: Your next chaos drive.. is somewhere in the sea.
[Levity Nite disappears]
Shade: Dude... I am NOT looking forward to this. This is the freaking CHAO WORLD we're talking about.
Dark: Land of nutjobs and half-wits...
[the void begins to dissolve; a beach slowly fades in]
[suddenly, the chao find themselves on said beach in the Chao World, surrounded by many local chao]
Shadow: Well... here we are.
Shade: Yes. Here we are.
Red: Yup.
Dark: Yep. ...HEY IT'S A BEACH
[Dark runs off, and starts playing in the ocean]
Shade: Don't bother chasing him. He'll grow tired shortly.
Dark: NO I WON'T
[Shade laughs and shakes his head]
[Shadow looks around]
Shadow: There's got to be someone who knows where the chaos drive is.
?: (Russian accent) Hey. Friend.
[the three approach a Dark chao selling ice cream]
Shadow: You mean me?
?: Yes. Call me "Ice Cream Man."
Shade: Isn't there anything else we can call you other than the seller of dairy treats?
ICM: Very well. "Ice Cream Man" is only codename, for it has same initials as Ivan Corey Mallet.
Shadow: See, Ivan Mallet is an awesome name.
Mallet: Thank you. Anyway, I hear you are looking for the... how you say.. chaos drives?
Shadow: Yes, we are. Do you happen to know where any of them are?
Mallet: As matter of fact... da. I am knowing where one is.
Red: And where's that?
[Ivan Mallet looks around for any witnesses, then he leans closer to the chao]
Mallet: There is one at bottom of ocean.
Shade: Uh.. yeah, thanks; we could figure that out.
Mallet: Ah, of course, of course. But, I am knowing more of it than you. Get your friend, and be following me.
[Ivan turns and walks into a small beach shack]
[the Darks get Dark and head into the shack]
Chapter 2: Somewhere, Waiting for Me...
Mallet: ..(Irish accent) a'ight, then. Enuff o' the Russian ****.
[Shade and Dark fall silent with fear]
Mallet: After all, I only played Russian ta fool those tourists. 'Foi showed me Oyrish self, I'd never get stuff done.
Shadow: Well, you're great with accents.
Mallet: Thank ya. Lissen, I know why yer really here... you are from the past.
Red: Wait.. what?
Mallet: Ya moight not 'av known it yerself, but.. y'air. Thirteh years.
Shade: How the heck do you know this?
Mallet: 'Cause I seen you, meself, thirteh years back. An' ain't no bloke from 'roundeer dun't know 'bout.....
[Ivan collects his thoughts]
Mallet: ....no, if you dun' know 'bout it nao, no sense tellin' you 'bout it, meself.
[he gets up and leads the chao to his garage]
[a form of plane is parked]
Mallet: Juss take this plane, yeah? Floi it out, 'bout.. mile an' two yerrrrds out.
Shadow: We'll know what we're looking for when we see it, right?
Mallet: 'Course.
[the Darks enter the plane]
Red: Aren't you coming, Mallet?
Mallet: No, oi've got me oice cream to take carev.
[Mallet leaves the garage]
Shadow: Um... anybody else feel like we were just rushed into a plane?
[BZZZZRT]
[a small radio in the plane turns on]
MalletRadio: Oi, mate! Couldja mebby foire the plane up an' sterrrt floin'?
Shadow: Fine, fine!
[Shadow starts the plane up, and starts flying]
[they fly over the ocean]
MalletR: I may 'av messed up a detail...
Shadow: And what is THAT?
MalletR: Yer gonna 'afta floi a good distance into the noite.
Shade: HEY, hold up, mister "Oirish man!" That wasn't part of the deal!
MalletR: I thought your deal was wif t'Vet'ran's C'mittee... not ME.
[Shade shuts up]
Shadow: *sigh* Alright... we'll do it.
MalletR: Yeah, I mean, you want that chaos droive, roite?
[the radio turns off]
Red: ...guys?
Shadow: Yeah, Red?
Red: I have a bad feeling about this mission.
Shade: *gulp* You and me, both, Red...
Shadow: MY bad feelings sink deeper and deeper... notably whenever Mallet says something.
Shade: I second that.
[hours pass]
Dark: Sh..Shade...
Shade: What's wrong, Dark?
Dark: I don't like this.
Shade: *sigh* Me, neither, Dark........ me, neither.
Red: I can't believe we're back in the Chao World. I HATE this place.
Shade: I can't believe we're thirty years in the future here.
Shadow: I can't believe we're looking for something deep in the ocean thirty years in the future here.
Dark: I can't believe it's margarine.
[more hours pass]
[night falls, and Red has taken over flying for a bit]
[BZZZZRT]
MalletR: 'Ow ya 'oldin' up?
Red: *yawn* I'm... getting tired.
MalletR: Cerrrful, Red. Don't want you fallin' asleep at the wheel, nao...
[the radio turns off]
Red: I'm NOT gonna... *yawn* ...fall asleep... at the wheel...
Chapter 3: My Lover Stands on Golden Sands...
[cut to Shadow's POV, sitting in his seat, legs crossed]
Shadow: My parents always used to tell me, "Son... you're gonna grow up to do great things."
[he pulls a lollipop out of his mouth]
Shadow: Well.... they were right.
[suddenly, Red dozes off at the wheel]
[the plane plummets down to the ocean]
[Shadow blacks out]
[a few seconds later, Shadow wakes up underwater]
[he looks around and sees the debris from the plane sinking]
[he quickly swims to the surface]
[at the surface, he breaths heavily, and looks around for the others]
Shadow: GUYS?! *pant pant* Guys? You there?!
Shade: KID!
[amidst the fire and crashed plane, Shadow notices Shade swimming nearby]
Shade: C'MON!
[Shadow swims over to Shade; on the way, he finds the radio and grabs it]
[Dark and Red find their way to Shade, as well]
Dark: Shade.. I'm scared.
Shade: I don't blame you, Dark.
Red: Shade.... where.. where do we go now?
Shadow: Guys! Look!
[Shadow points at a lighthouse nearby]
Red: That's strange. Why is a lighthouse out in the middle of the ocean?
Shadow: Who cares? It's solid ground.
[they swim to the lighthouse and ascend some stairs, out of the water]
[Shadow tries the radio]
Shadow: Mallet? *hits radio* ...Mallet, do you read?
[silence]
Shadow: Guess the radio's out. Maybe we should check out what's in here?
Shade: ..fine.
[they enter the lighthouse, and find it pitch black]
Shadow: Hello? Anyone here?
[the door behind them closes]
Red: Wha?
[the lights turn on, revealing a giant statue in the center of the room]
[it is of a Dark chao, standing proudly]
[a banner hangs across it, reading "NO GODS OR KINGS. ONLY CHAO. -Andrew Ryder"]
Shade: This can't be happening.
Dark: I think I'm gonna cry.
Shadow: What? What can't be happening?
Shade: I.... I....... I'll tell you later.
[they head down some stairs and find some form of orbular submarine]
Shadow: Terrible description.
Red: I wonder what's inside?
Shade: *sigh*
[they head into the sphere, and find a lever]
Dark: ...
Shade: ...
Red: .....anybody gonna pull it?
Shadow: I guess I will.
Shade: Before you do... are.. are you SURE you wanna go through with this?
Shadow: Well, it's the only way to get the next chaos drive.
Shade: ..fine. Fine. Go.
[Shadow pulls the lever; the plexiglass door to the sphere slams shut]
Shadow: Oh, boy.
[the sphere descends into the water, down a very large tunnel]
[they pass various signs listing how many fathoms beneath the sea they are]
[40... 400...... 400,000...]
[a screen comes down in front of the window, and a projector activates]
[on the screen is the Dark chao depicted on the statue]
["From the desk of Andrew Ryder" is written on the bottom of the screen]
[a recording of a voice plays]
Ryder: I am Andrew Ryder, and I am here to ask you a question: is a chao not entitled to the sweat of his brow?
[the chao listen to the recording with great intent]
Ryder: "No," says the chao in the Chao World, "it belongs to the poor."
[dramatic close-up shots of the chao, and.. insert more filler]
Ryder: "No," says the chao in the Hero Garden, "it belongs to the Hero Chaos."
[Shade chuckles at this; "That IS what they say.."]
Ryder: "No," says the chao in the Dark Garden, "it belongs to everyone."
[Shade then quickly shuts up, and looks around nervously]
Ryder: I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible! I... chose...
[the picture switches off; the screen retracts into the ceiling, revealing what's out the window]
[there is a breathtaking city stationed at the bottom of the ocean; neon lights and skyscrapers are everywhere]
[no streets, though; the buildings are connected by sealed-off walkways]
[thousands of fish are seen swimming around; even a whale is seen]
Ryder: ...Euphoria. A city where the artist would not fear the censor.
[Shadow smiles at this comment]
Ryder: Where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality.
[Red smiles at this]
Ryder: Where the great would not be constrained by the small.
[Shade lets a small smirk out, then quickly hides it as a sense of familiarity strikes him]
Ryder: And with the sweat of your brow, Euphoria can become your city, as well.
[the recording switches off as the sphere floats towards a building]
Shadow: This place is amazing!
Shade: We really shouldn't be here.
Red: This city is astounding!
Dark: This place is really familiar.
Shade: Dark's right. This is all from Bioshock.
Dark: No, I mean... the.... something about this place... gives me a bad vibe. A familiar one.
[Dark walks up to the window, and scans the scenery]
Dark: I keep.. expecting... to see... someone.
[Shadow's radio activates]
Shadow: Whoa, finally, a signal!
MalletR: But the whole loitehowse is set off loike 'ellfoire. ..looks like some koind of plane crash.
?R: We're in the middle of the Chat Ocean. How could it--
MalletR: Dunno. You'd best get over there-- and be quick about it; the sploicers are comin'.
(Okay, fine, I won't toipe out the Oirish accent no more. :P)
?R: You've got to be kidding. How do you even know anybody's even coming?
MalletR: 'Cause we've got one o' them bathyspheres on its way down; we've got company.
?R: O..okay. Just one more minute. The sphere.. the sphere is coming up now.
MalletR: Johnny, security's banging all over-- get a move on!
[the bathysphere (submarine thing) surfaces inside a building (and.. airlocks n' stuff, so there's air inside)]
Chapter 4: And Watches the Ships that Go Sailin'...
[the chao look out the window and see complete darkness, save for the occasional flash of light, showing figures]
Johnny: Please, lady... I didn't mean to trespass. You can have my gun, just don't kill me, please!
[FLASH-- a chao brutally murders another chao]
[silence]
[the chao can just about make out the shadow of an.. odd chao]
Chao?: ........is it someone NEW?
[the chao screams, then hops away]
MalletR: Boy? Boy, you there?
Shadow: Um.. yes, I'm here, Mallet. Are you.. are you.. here, in the city?
MalletR: No, but Johnny told me of the plane crash, an' I'm on me way there now.
Shadow: That's good! Yes, that's very good.
MalletR: I don't know how you survived that plane crash, but.. lissen.. I aim to keep you alive.
Shadow: Thank you.
MalletR: Step out of the bathysphere. We're gonna draw her out.
Shadow: Wait, draw WHO out?
MalletR: The sploicer.
Shadow: Um.. okay.
[Shadow creeps out of the bathysphere]
Chao?: I'm gonna wrap you in a sheet.
[Shadow looks around; the female chao leaps at him]
[the chao is then instantly shot at by a turret defense system and killed]
MalletR: Now, couldja mebby grab a crowbar or summin'? You'll want a weapon.
[Shade finds a wrench and grabs it]
Shade: Lost in Bioshock. May as well make the most of it, yeah?
Shadow: Good, you're lightening up to things.
Shade: Yeah... I s'pose I AM.
Dark: I'm not...
Shade: Sheesh, Dark, will you chill? You've been freaking out ever since we started this mission.
Dark: But.. but this isn't good. I swear, this place is so familiar.
Shadow: Please calm down, Dark. Everything'll be okay.
Shade: Yeah, there's no way this can be any worse than Bioshock.
Red: Um.. Veteran's Committee, Shade.
Shade: ..............****!!! I had completely forgotten!
Shadow: Guys, we don't have time to debate about how bad things will get. We have to move on.
MalletR: Yes, please do, boys.
Shade: Fine! Fine. Let's hurry and get this done with.
[they enter the next room, and find the exit is having some technical difficulties]
Shadow: Great. We're stuck in here 'til we find a way to jump start a door.
Red: Maybe we can find something up these stairs?
[they head up some stairs]
[a vending machine is there; at the hatch.. thing of the machine is a syringe filled with blue liquid]
[pause]
Dark: I call "not it."
Shade: Not it.
Shadow: Not it!
Red: Hey, now that's not fair. You're the Green One. You HAVE to be it.
Shadow: I hate you.
[Shadow grabs the syringe and injects himself with it]
Shadow: GUH! Ah, I always hated taking shots. Stings a little. At least it's over n--
[Shadow falls over; he gets up and grips his arm in pain]
Shadow: ****!!!! Ahh! Ahhhh! Ohhhhh... aahhhhhh!
[his arm turns blue]
MalletR: Steady now! Your genetic code is being rewritten! Just hold on and everything will be fine!
Shadow: WHAAAT?!
[he runs to a balcony and jumps off of it]
[THUD! .....silence]
[the other chao stand awkwardly for a moment before heading down the stairs]
[Shadow is lying on the ground, arm throbbing; sparks are flying from it]
MalletR: You alright, boy?
Shadow: *cough* Ugh.... just about.
MalletR: First time Arrem's a real kick from a mule. But there's nothin' like a fistful of fury, is there?
Shadow: "Arrem?"
MalletR: Yeah, Arrem. It's a type of Remtal.
Shadow: "Remtal?"
MalletR: Oi, no need ta make fun o' me accent. I dunno how to really pronounce it.
Shadow: Ah, whatever. What does this Arrem do?
MalletR: That particular Arrem makes it so you can shoot lightning out of your fist.
Shadow: ...that has got to be the coolest thing ever.
[Shadow shoots the exit that is having technical difficulties]
[it opens]
Shadow: Well, that's pretty damn useful!
[they move on to a small plexiglass hallway connecting two buildings]
[out one window, in another hallway, is a tall hooded figure leading a small faceless chao]
[our heroes stand in awe]
Dark: I.. don't.. like... this place.
[they keep moving on, and enter the next building]
[inside, a crazy male chao (wearing a mask) charges at them]
MalletR: A sploicer! Zap 'em, then whack 'em! The one-two punch! Remember! The one-two punch!
[Shadow zaps the chao, then Shade whacks him; he dies]
[they move through the building, killing some sploicers, then they enter an elevator and ride it up]
MalletR: I've made it to Euphoria. I tried to make it through a back door, but it's.. locked.
Shadow: You want us to unlock it, right?
MalletR: Yeah. 'S over at the Entertainment Center, "Neptunes R Us."
Shadow: Hm. Neptunes R Us.
MalletR: Lissen.. I know you must feel like the unluckiest chao in the world right now...
Shadow: A little bit, yeah. And Dark's fears don't really help.
MalletR: You're my only hope to get in there.
Shadow: Why do you want to get in here?
MalletR: I know how to get you the chaos drive.
Shadow: ...it's a deal, Mallet.
[they reach the top of the elevator]
[a shadow is cast from around the next corner-- a female chao is sobbing over a baby's pram]
Shade: Alright, Shadow, on the count of three, you're gonna zap her.
Shadow: Why? She's obviously lost her baby.
Shade: "Obviously" doesn't count for **** anymore, buddy. C'mon. One.. two... three!
[they hop around the corner, zap, then whack the chao]
[inside the pram was a pistol]
MalletR: Arrem changed everythin'. It destroyed our bodies.. our minds....
Shadow: I can tell.
MalletR: We couldn't handle it. Best friends butcherin' one another... babies strangled in cribs...
Shade: And replaced with pistols.
MalletR: And then there was the whole "mass sacrifice" deal every Tuesday... eah, doesn't matter.
Shade: Yeah, the whole city went to Hell.
MalletR: Boy... you don't know the half of it.
[they enter a restaurant; a neon sign says "Happy New Year 2039"]
Shadow: Hey, Mallet? What year is it?
MalletR: Well, uh.. for the sake of the story, it's 2040.
Shadow: Alright, thanks.
[next to a corpse sitting at a table is a strange device]
Shadow: What's this thing?
MalletR: If you're seein' what I think you are, try pressin' the "Play" button.
Shadow: Okay, the "Play" button...
[beep!]
(Diane McChaotock- New Year's Sadface)
"Well. Here I am. Alone on New Year's Eve... the silliest girl in Euphoria. Silly enough to fall in love with Andrew Ryder.
Silly enough to-- *STATIC* What? Wha? What's... what's going on? HOLY--"
[they look at the corpse once more; it is missing various limbs, and has no eyes]
Red: I wonder what happened on New Year's.
Shade: Gah! Don't say stuff like that, otherwise we'll end up finding out!
Red: But.. don't we want to?
Shade: NO!
Shadow: I think I'm with Shade this time. After our last adventure, I don't.. really.. want to threaten my life anymore.
[they explore the restaurant, killing whatever sploicers they find]
[in the women's restroom, they find another device]
[beep!]
(Bobby Johnson- Hole in the Bathroom)
"Yo, Flora. This is Bobby from the theater. I dunno what kinda restaurant yer tryin' to pull, but I got people complainin'
about a hole in yer bathroom wall, lettin' all the stink out! I'm tryin' to run a respectable theater, so I don't want to
have to deal with my payin' customers worryin' about the stink comin' from yer crapper. Get it fixed."
Shadow: Gotta admit, I didn't want to know that.
Red: Now hold on a second, Shadow. This hole might take us further.
Shadow: I guess...
[they search the bathrooms and find a big hole leading to a theater balcony]
Chapter 5: Somewhere, Beyond the Sea (Reprise)
[a chao is down on the ground floor, singing a childlike song and doing something to a corpse]
MalletR: Careful now... couldja mebby lower your weapon for a minute?
[Shadow glances at Shade, who lowers his crowbar]
[they carefully walk across a catwalk, observing the chao down on the ground]
Shadow: What is that guy doing?
MalletR: You think that's a chao down there? Don't be fooled. He's a Little Reaper now.
Shadow: "Little Reaper..?"
MalletR: Someone went and turned an innocent baby chao into a monster.
Shade: Right, and it's up to us to kill each and every one of them.
Shadow: K..kill them? But.. but that's wrong..
MalletR: Whatever they taught you about right an' wrong in your time... doesn't count fer much down here.
Shadow: But.. why.. why is...
MalletR: They carry Remtal.. everyone wants it.. everybody needs it.
[they make it to the other balcony, and descend some stairs]
[they enter a room with a window looking out to the Little Reaper]
[a sploicer approaches the Little Reaper]
Sploicer: Hey there, little kid... you wanna come for a ride in my van? Right this way...
[the Little Reaper screams]
Sploicer: N-no! Don't!
[a tall, hooded figure slowly walks into the room]
[it grabs the sploicer with one (cloaked) hand, and holds him up]
[the sploicer tries to shield his eyes, but ends up staring directly into the face behind the cloak]
[a red substance seeps out of the figure and into the sploicer]
Sploicer: URGH... AHH... AHHHHAAHHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHasdufasd bn
[the figure drops the sploicer, whose head then explodes]
[the Little Reaper follows the figure out of the room]
[pause]
[Dark screams]
Shade: C-calm down, Dark... please.
Dark: BUT THAT THAT THAT FIGURE NO WAY THAT STUFF THAT THAT THAT...
[Dark falls silent with fear]
Shadow: Mallet... Mallet, what the.. what was that?
MalletR: That was a Turgii.
Shadow: Ugh, I can't understand your freaking accent! ...sorry.
MalletR: Doesn't matter. The Little Reaper gathers Remtal, the Turgii keeps 'em safe.
Shadow: But what.. what happened to that guy?
Red: His head exploded!
MalletR: That's what happens when you touch raw Remtal. It's not always the head, and it's not always an explosion.
Shadow: Whoa... this is heavy.
MalletR: Keep movin', boy! Neptunes R Us is right around the corner!
Shadow: Right...
[they enter the next room and approach a sign that says "Neptunes R Us"]
[a gate slams shut, blocking entrance; an alarm goes off]
MalletR: DAMMIT!
Shadow: Wh..what happened?
MalletR: It's Ryder! He found us! He's blocked off exit to Neptunes! Argh, you'll have to go around!
Shadow: How?!
MalletR: There's a way through Medical! Go to Medical!
Shadow: Got it!
[they fight off some more sploicers and enter a gate that reads "Medical District"]
[they walk around a corner, and are suddenly locked in a small, dark room]
MalletR: He's trapped you! I.. I'm gonna see if I can't bypass the system, okay?
[a projector activates, showing a video of Andrew Ryder giving a monumental speech]
Ryder: Centuries ago, there existed a utopia unmatched by all others...
Many would try to enter. They would be allowed, so long as they respected the customs.
But, there would often be chao entering who were trying to rob the city of its secrets and technology.
Those people would always be met with extreme prejudice.
When I established Euphoria, circa 2026, I made sure to follow each and every example set by that city.
BUT, I chose to set some of my OWN examples... for instance: Euphoria would be a utopia.. in an unthinkable place.
Where on Chao World could I possibly place a city that no other city has been?
Then I got it. Euphoria wouldn't be a NEW utopia...
It would be an OLD one, brought to NEW life by one simple change.
In the year of 2018, I became President of Darku, and my first order of business was to secretly work on Euphoria.
The Tlekozamfa was to be transformed into sea. You now know it as the Ryder Ocean, named after myself.
Of course, as the old fables of yore go, Tlekozamfa is old Darkonjurf for "Unthinkable Valley..."
For Tlekozamfa is the geographical location of the aforementioned ancient utopia.
I sank this valley into the sea, thereby changing the face of the planet and rendering myself an unforgettable president.
After my second term, the utopia had adjusted to its new conditions surprisingly well.
I mean that.
It looked completely untouched!
Since a good decade of clean-up and pressurization was unnecessary, I formally opened Euphoria to the public.
One day, our scientists discovered a secret lab, and a strange substance. It horrifically decapitated all who touched it.
It was later discovered that it was this substance that kept the city safe as it sunk the brimey deeps.
Scriptures were found in the labs that labelled it Red Metal.
Let me say that once more, for it sounds very powerful! Very.. proud. Red. Metal.
It was as obvious then as it is now... the founders of the ancient utopia were pure geniuses. Why, you ask?
If you mix Red Metal with sodium chloride, it becomes a gene splicing treatment!
We deemed this new substance "Remtal." It changes your genetic code so that you may better yourself in whatever you'd like.
As an example, if one were to find himself too slow, one would just apply the correct Arrem, and he would be faster.
Right, right. Remtal is the substance, itself. Arrem beefs up individual traits.
Now, on to more pressing matters. You, there. What are you doing in my city?
Who sent you? Was it the Darks? The Heroes? Or maybe the Neutrals aren't as they say they are?
Or were you perhaps sent by an... OUTSIDE source?
You will never learn the secrets of Euphoria. No negotiations.
Perhaps if you'd care to negotiate with these other people, though...
[the video switches off; a horde of sploicers are heard banging on the doors and shouting]
[the door behind them opens]
MalletR: Alright, I've opened the door! Go now! To Medical!
[the chao run into the next room and close the door]
[this room is some kind of airlock]
Shade: Guys.
Red: No.
Shadow: I don't...
Dark: ...
Shade: Guys.
Red: This isn't... this can't..
Shadow: I mean...
Dark: ...
Shade: This is much worse... than I could have ever predicted.
Red: This can't be real! This CANNOT BE REAL!
Shadow: I.. I don't know.. what is happening right now.
Dark: ...
Shade: But, dude! You were there!
Red: DCA09?
Shadow: I.. I was a minor character back then. Very minor. I don't remember anything.
Dark: ...
Shade: Dude.. let me put it in simple terms...
Red: We are all going to die.
Shade: We're dabbling with the single most INSANE city ever known.
Red: It's a wonder we haven't seen the Nomble yet.
Shade: But I'm sure we've seen the Tour Gui--
Dark: DON'T SAY THAT NAME.
[the chao stare at Dark]
Dark: That.. THING back there wasn't my.. the Tour Guide.
Red: How can you be sure?
Dark: I.. I just know. I do.
Shadow: Can someone PLEASE tell me what is going on?
Red: Ah, we may as well.. if not for him, then at least for the readers who haven't read DCA09.
Shade: *sigh* Alright... listen. Euphoria is basically a copypasta'd version of the secretcity.
Red: The secretcity that rested deep in Chao World for ages, and killed all who entered it.
Shade: There's nothing but crazy puzzles and the occasional ominous character in here.
Shadow: Yes, but.. where ARE we?!
Dark: We're in Chao Talk!
TO BE CONTINUED...

More tossing out.

Next episode is nearing completion. Haven't beaten the actual game yet, but.. whatever.

But... would you kindly read it once it's done? I've put a lot of effort-ish stuff into it.

Just throwing it out there.

I will begin work on the next episode once I have beaten the game it is based on. Don't worry, it won't take me long.

..though tell me..... is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?