DARK CHAO ADVENTURES
Season Nine: Chaos
Episode Ninety: What the Rain Said
Chapter 1: Danger
[our story begins in the Void of the Veterans, where the Chaos Alliance spectates on the world below]
[Zero walks in, carrying a large television]
Zero: Look, guys! I got us a TV so we can watch things better.
Egg: Ooh, excellent!
Nite: *sigh* When I told you told you we needed a new way to watch the world, I didn't have Samsung in mind.
Zero: But it's in HD!
[Zero places the television in the center of the room, facing upwards; the Alliance gathers around it]
[pause]
Zero: There doesn't happen to be anywhere we can plug this thing in, is there?
[Levity Nite facepalms, then snaps his fingers]
[the TV miraculously turns on, displaying the Dark Garden]
[the camera zooms in on the TV, taking us into the scene]
[Shadow rests on the island across the pool of blood(-coloured water), dreaming of music and comets]
Shade: Shadow!
[Shade swims across the pool and wakes him up]
Shade: Shadow, come quick, there's-- whoa, you look different.
[Shadow is now only a green Dark chao, no Run features]
Shadow: I guess, as Red had said, my deus ex machina powers wore off. What were you saying?
Shade: We found a, uh… y'know what, just come and take a look.
[Shade takes him to the Neutral Garden, where everyone has gathered around the waterfall]
[Dark runs out of the waterfall, pushing anyone out of his way]
Shadow: Dark! What the hell?
Dark: DON'T TALK TO ME, NOBODY TALK TO ME!
[Dark runs out of the Garden]
[Shadow looks back at Shade]
Shadow: What did you guys find?
[Shade leads Shadow into the cave behind the waterfall]
[inside is a pod labeled "47," lit by a light on the floor]
[Shadow fails to see the significance]
Shade: This pod is a gate to Chao Talk.
Shadow: What? Since when?
Shade: Since.. well, DCA09. It happened before the Grey Journey, yet also not. It wasn't set in stone until 2009.
Shadow: I.. what, and this pod wasn't here before?
Shade: Not for a long time.
[pause]
Shadow: I will be honest, I do not want to go back there yet.
Shade: We won't. We're not falling for that.
Shadow: So what do you suppose we should do?
Shade: ..play robots?
[and so the chao play robots once more, and the camera zooms out of the TV, taking us back to the Void of the Veterans]
Chapter 2: Jazz for the Robot's Soul
[the Chaos Alliance says nothing, only looking at each other with expectation before looking back to the TV]
[the TV changes channels by itself, now showing Mecha Knuckles, the Tails Doll, and Mephiles being escorted out of Sancheria by the natives]
[none of the natives speak other than the Hero/Power chao, who is finishing up another prophetic ramble about legend]
HP: ..and that is how the unstable End of All Things almost took over the universe.
MK: Huh. So that's exactly what happened.
[they keep walking in silence]
HP: Would you boys like to hear how to attain immortality?
Mp: Pfft, I already have it.
TD: Yeah, me too.
MK: ..I don't.
HP: Then I shall tell you the legendary secret!
Mp: Y'know, man, you don't have to keep saying "legend." We're not in the cathedral anymore.
HP: What? Yes, we are.
[…yes, they are]
MK,TD,Mp: WHAT THE FUCK?
HP: You.. thought we weren't in the cathedral?
TD: We were leaving; you guys were escorting us out of the forest!
HP: No, we've been standing in here the whole time; we haven't left once.
Mp: We all saw it! We've left at least twice now! We all saw it!
MK: It's true! We all saw it!
HP: Hm.
TD: ..what time is it?
HP: How about I tell you boys that secret of immortality already?
TD: No, what time is it?
HP: See, the secret is quite simple.
Mp: ..hey, yeah, what time is it?
HP: According to the ancient scriptures, a soul must be loved greatly enough to fight off Death himself at least twice.
MK: Just answer the damn question, man. What time is it?
HP: And then, after Pink has encased, the soul must become one with all their spirit animals and avoid the allure of their drives.
MK: He's not even listening to us anymore.
HP: (quickly, raising voice) Only then, once growth has been mastered, can one achieve the true Chaos of immortality.
[pause]
[the Hero/Power chao turns away from the group beforesftdgchjfdslaughingadufssafanufeu
HP: It's five minutes after eight.
[with a blink, the sunlight pouring into the cathedral becomes a yawning sunset]
[and the Hero/Power chao is nowhere to be found, leaving our heroes by themselves]
MK: ..didn't they say this forest gets bad at night?
Mp: They did.
MK: MAN, how do we keep getting ourselves into these situations?
TD: Leaving the Gardens was your idea.
MK: Hey, shut up!
Mp: Welp, I dunno about you two, but I'm not afraid of no forest.
[Mephiles walks out of the House of the Hero Chaos]
TD: Neither am I. See ya, Mecha.
[the Tails Doll floats out behind him]
MK: HEY NO WAIT FOR ME I'M NOT IMMORTAL LIKE YOU GUYS AND I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT THE GUY SAID WAS THE SECRET TO GETTING IT
[Mecha runs out after them]
Chapter 3: Competing for the Pantheon
[a different image flashes on-screen for a frame, too fast to see for sure]
[the camera zooms out to show the Chaos Alliance watching the TV]
Shawn: ..what is this cosmic horror story we've found ourselves walking into?
Tag: I dunno, I'm sure Sancheria isn't that bad.
Shawn: Did no one else see that frame? That.. flicker on the screen for a second, less than a second?
Egg: I must have missed it. Can we pause it? Is there a remote for this thing?
[Levity Nite sighs and snaps his fingers; the TV p
[the TV resumes; the trio of heroes look around the forest as the Chaos Alliance discusses things]
Zero: Why a map? Why only for a frame?
Nite: The implications are worrying. If this map was displayed on-screen-- even if for only a frame-- then it was DJay's doing. And since it was only for a frame, there's no way any reader might have known about it if not for us.
Zero: What was it that chao had said? "Your efforts were not in vain; you were simply pawns for a power greater than yourselves." Are we pawns so that information may be given to the reader?
Egg: What is the purpose of all of this? What is this building to?
Shawn: The better question is: Should we really just sit around, watching, letting these actions transpire? We could be gods of this world.
Nite: Do we really want to be? We'd have competition. The way I see it is we have a choice between passively watching as guides for the readers, and becoming active gods in this script.
[pause as the responsibility dawns on all of them]
Nite: If we choose to be passive, we must stick to it or risk alerting the monsters that inhabit these worlds. If we choose to be active.. well, we'll have one hell of a fight ahead of us.
Shawn: If we don't intervene, the fight will still happen. It'll just be all of the others fighting these… antagonists. If we do intervene, they'll stand more of a chance.
Zero: Will they? Didn't we attempt to fight them before, all of us, in even bigger numbers than these?
Egg: Ah, but there, we were fighting the wrong foe. We concentrated our efforts on Metal Speedy, who most certainly is a threat, but we had completely overlooked the Instability and the beast of Sancheria.
Nite: Many were slaughtered thanks to that mistake, and we were saved if only by a deus ex machina. But this war will not be won on one. We have to make a choice: Do we watch them die? Or do we risk our lives?
[the camera slowly zooms out on this question]
Chapter 3.5: Existing Pantheon (A Role Call)
[cut to the empty reaches of deep blue space]
[out of the stars, a metal chao manifests]
MSp: Do we have to stick to octave pentameter?
[You are the antagonists. Of course you do.]
MSp: Alright. Who else joins me?
[a man appears, tall, faceless: Beast of Sancheria]
[the faceless man of internet lore stares at Metal Speedy, questioning his place]
MSp: Hey, I've been pulling the strings since Day 1! What's your place, newcomer?
[images flash on-screen: plot holes]
MSp: You came in with those?
[the man shakes his head]
[more images: the script, unwritten]
MSp: I don't get it. Are you a mute?
[more images: a boy growing into a man, donning trilby, coat, and scarf]
MSp: ..you're DJay? I still don't understand. Speak, please!
"I am his fears of his dreams corrupted."
[the voice shakes the heavens, sending Gardens tumbling]
Chapter 3.8: Gardens Tumbling
[the Chao Ship, safe haven]
[the Dark Garden, breeding ground of young devils]
[all chao fall upwards into the skybox ceiling]
Shade: SHIT WHAT THE FUCK
Shadow: FUCK THE WHAT SHIT
Red: Times like this I wish I was Echo, so that I might fly.
Dark: I just want to sleep.
[the Neutral Garden, meeting place of wayward characters]
SJR: What are these cosmic horror stories we're entering?
Amfy: "Entering?" We've always been here.
[the Hero Garden, facade of king and fool]
[Chao just closes his eyes, wishing it away]
Chapter 3.9: Role Call, Part Two (Unstable)
[cut back to our antagonists]
[Metal Speedy staggers backward, away from the beast]
MSp: You.. aren't from here.
[beast shakes his head and kneels down to look the robot in his eyes]
[Metal Speedy's eyes turn blue]
MSp: That wasn't in octave pentameter, Beast of Sancheria.
[the heavens crack and burn]
"I am not your puppet, I speak freely."
[the heavens shake, Gardens tumble deeper and deeper]
MAp: You don't seem to understand your own situation.
[fungal strings enter, unseen, gripping the beast's arms]
EAp: I will just have to show you myself.
Nite: Feel free to do so, but before you do, consider having an audience with us first.
[the narrative, the script, everything returns to a normal state-- the Gardens cease tumbling and now remain, static, in space once more-- characters no longer speak in octave pentameter-- but the heavens still crack and burn]
[Metal Speedy's eyes are red once more]
MSp: What the.. fuck.
[the strings unhand the beast, who turns to look at the Chaos Alliance entering eldritch space]
[Zero and Tagliare look uneasy, Shawn and Levity Nite look determined, and Doctor Eggman hides any expression]
[the script laughs]
[You could end this right now. The antagonists could wipe the Alliance out relatively easily, taking away all hope for the protagonists, ending DCA in tragedy for good.]
[And you, Alliance, you could kill Metal Speedy here and now, you could take care of one of the most prominent and insistent antagonists of the story.]
[Why, I'm sure that, if you put your powers together, you could manage even to take down the Instability. You could do it in this very chapter.]
[So what will it be?]
[Do you want DCA to continue under the pretense of a conventional narrative? Do you want Season Nine to concentrate on the sequential and formulaic defeat of the ultimate antagonists?]
[Do you want DCA to continue under a more experimental pretense, where structure and theme are muddled under meta?]
[Can you even hear me? Or have my creations taken on a life of their own?]
[..let's find out, shall we?]
[The Chaos Alliance snap their fingers, the antagonists all bend the script with their own intentions]
[pause]
Chapter 4: Stalemate
[Levity Nite snaps his fingers]
Chapter 3.91: Role Call, Part Three
[the heavens bend and crack and burn and shake]
[Tagliare snaps his fingers]
[the heavens turn red and blue and green and yellow and indigo]
[Zero snaps his fingers]
[the heavens cough up blood, drowning galaxies in deluges of anatomical malfunction]
[Metal Speedy bends the script]
[the forest of Sancheria doubles in size]
[Shawn snaps his fingers]
[the forest of Sancheria halves in size]
[the beast bends the script]
[the Gardens disappear]
[Eggman snaps his fingers]
[the Gardens reappear]
[pause]
Chapter 4: Stalemate
[Levity Nite snaps his fingers]
Chapter 3.93: Role Call, Part Four
[the two forces glare at each other, each waiting for the other to strike]
[out of the black, a glare of blue opens its eyes]
[blood assembles from a nearby galaxy, draining in density, losing its red, filtering out matter until all that is left is water]
[the water floats through deep space, arriving at the scene and swirling around into a condensed form]
[the Alliance stares in confusion, the beast steps away from the water while watching it carefully, and Metal Speedy floats in front of it, daring it]
[some unidentifiable substance moves, unseen, through space, travelling towards the water at high speeds]
[every planet it passes glows red and dissolves]
[suddenly, upon its approach, the space around the gods fades into a red hue]
[the Alliance looks around, confused]
Tag: What in the world? Did someone bend the script to make things red?
[Zero notices the antagonists, not reacting to the red atmosphere-- in fact, Metal Speedy approaches the swirling water]
Zero: You might not want to touch that.
[finally, Metal Speedy reacts-- he turns to look at Zero, then he notices the red atmosphere around them]
[..and then he spots the approaching substance]
MSp: I don't know what's going on, but I have the feeling we're about to find out.
[every character now sees the substance, a supermassive sprawling virulent red mass approaching at terminal velocity]
[it collides with the water]
Chapter 3.95: Hello, Dark Chao Adventures. This is a nice script. Its episodes amuse me.
?: Out of the chaos, an alliance was formed. How quaint.
[water tendrils thin out and extend to form arms]
?: I'm tired of watching you fight with gambits and indirect warfare, every one of you.
[oozing red long legs]
?: At least the chao attempt to engage.
[a torso born from fungal strings, water, and the substance]
?: That was always my least favourite part of this script: People rarely just go and confront each other. But then again, there's no drama in that, is there?
[stardust floats in and merges with everything to simulate human skin, and from this base a head is formed-- its features diminished, its top bald, its structure boneless and rounded, its eyes glazed and blue]
?: Perhaps you are all metaphors, perhaps you are all an experiment, neither would surprise me at this point. Either way, I am here to round off the cast of characters.
[off of this bald head, blue hair grows, stopping before it reaches the shoulders]
?: I should have done this a long time ago.
[this complete and alien figure gently moves its limbs, floating in space, to get a feel for the laws of physics-- fingers fall off only to reform, more solidly-- eyes go bloodshot only to blink and reset, new conditioning]
[the Chaos Alliance stares in utter confusion and terror]
[the blue figure of red matter floats towards them, expression unchanging but posture welcoming, putting an arm around Levity Nite]
?: Please, if you want a place in the DCA pantheon, come right in, all of you.
[Levity Nite shivers but says nothing]
?: No words for me? This script is driven by dialogue, come, you can't confront DJay's inner demons by remaining silent!
[the figure strokes Levity Nite's chin]
?: Say what's on your mind.
Nite: I have.. no idea what you are.
[pause, a fake smile grows on its lips]
Nite: We. Have no idea what you are.
[pause, the smile grows wider]
Nite: Or who. Who you are.
?: That's the more polite way of asking it, good.
[it lets go of Levity and floats over to Metal Speedy, pointing at him]
?: You there, antagonistic robot chao.
MSp: I'm Metal Sp--
?: I know your name; I know every detail of every script. But the Chaos Alliance clearly doesn't. So would you mind telling them who I am?
MSp: I.. I don't even know, myself.
[pause; the fake smile only grows wider]
?: You've been doing all my work for the past several episodes, and you don't even know my name?
[the figure heaves a fake sigh and snaps its her fingers; the script bends seamlessly to her will]
[a blue cloak appears, covering all but the figure's head]
?: Figured I'd blend in more with this show's crowd. Cloaked characters are quite a recurring motif in DJay's work, did you notice that? I wonder what that says about him. Anyway.
[finally, the figure turns to look at the beast of Sancheria]
?: You know who I am.
[it holds out a finger]
?: Don't speak. The universe can only take so much of your eldritch voice, slender man. Besides, I didn't ask a question; I simply stated that you know who I am.
[Metal Speedy and the Alliance consider leaving as quickly as they can]
?: Can any of you hear the music DJay listens to as he writes these scripts?
[Shawn meekly raises his hand]
[the figure rushes over to Shawn and picks him up with both arms, spinning around with joy despite the extra wide smile showing no enjoyment]
?: What is he listening to now?
Shawn: It sounds like Dethklok.
?: Do you know the song?
Shawn: It's, um. It's. "Murmaider II: The Water God?" Is that right?
[the figure throws Shawn towards a nearby star; Eggman snaps his fingers and Shawn returns to the Alliance]
?: Oh, you are good; you are all good.
[the figure snaps its her fingers]
Chapter 3.98: The Blackened Deep; The Reveal
?: There we go, new chapter. Will someone at least take a guess at my name, or do I have to do something far more drastic?
Zero: Are you the source of all Red Metal? Is that what the substance was that formed you just now?
[the figure gives two thumbs up]
Egg: So you're also IT?
?: Keep going.
Shawn: You're the Instability?
[a nod]
Nite: ..you're the eight and the five?
?: Ah, I love it when people call me that.
MSp: That means you're the End of All Things, then?
[the figure turns to face Metal Speedy, smile gone, face blank again]
?: That's correct. And you're Metal Speedy, whom I've only let have free will to fuck around with.
MSp: Wha--
[the End of All Things snaps her fingers, and Metal Speedy disappears]
[pause]
[the beast of Sancheria takes another step back]
Egg: What did you--
EAT: Shh.
[pause]
[EAT snaps her fingers once more, and Metal Speedy reappears, screaming]
MSp: WHAT THE FUCK
EAT: Oh, such language! Looks like you need more time. Let's say five minutes. *snap*
[as Metal Speedy disappears, EAT turns to face the Alliance once more, and they all tremble]
EAT: What?
Tag: Where did you send him?
EAT: To another story.
Shawn: How is that even possible?
[the fake smile returns, fainter than before]
EAT: It's easy: I never belonged to this one in the first place. I guess I retroactively did, but when you start saying things like that, it becomes much harder to take this story seriously.
Nite: Then what story do you come from?
EAT: Hm.
[EAT strokes her chin]
EAT: Do I come from a story? I feel more like a recurring character that's been turned into a symbol sometimes and a personality at others. Explaining me is half the battle. Now let's have the other half!
[shurrrrrppppppppp]
Dateline: Episode 85
Dateline: Episode 85
[Rubber Goose performs live for one last time]
[towards the end, Shadow dives for five drives]
[CHIRP CHIRP, BRRRRRRRRING! SHADOW EVOLVES]
Dark: The gift we give you is your soul!
[Shadow is a Dark/Run chao]
Chapter 8.8: The End Complete, End for the Main Protagonists
Shadow: Metal Speedy, you're out of time and power.
MSp: No, Shadow. It is YOU who is out!
[Metal Speedy snaps his fingers, as does Shadow]
[Shade snaps in the background, as does Shawn]
[Eight and five wipe DCA]
THE END
Chapter 9: After the End
[the Dark Garden fades in]
[Shade fades in, a grey Dark/Swim chao in a bandanna and wielding a crowbar]
[Dark fades in, a regular Dark chao with a guitar strapped to his back]
[Red fades in, a red Dark chao with machine gun in hand]
[Shadow fades in, a Dark/Run chao in a trilby and purple scarf]
[Shawn fades in, a Neutral chao in a trenchcoat]
[Tagliare fades in, a blue chao wearing a gas mask]
[Levity Nite fades in, a tall cloaked figure hiding an old green chao]
[Doctor Eggman fades in]
[Chao fades in, a Dark Chaos Chao who was once the ruler of the Hero Garden]
[Professor Shade fades in, an arbitrarily female grey Dark chao in a top hat]
[Amphis fades in, a red Neutral/Power/Power chao]
[Mephiles fades in, a demon that.. resembles Shadow the Hedgehog, he's from Sonic '06, that's what's important]
[Mecha Knuckles fades in, the thing from Sonic R]
[the Tails Doll fades in, the other thing from Sonic R]
[Shade Junior fades in, a young Dark chao with stilts and a cloak hidden away in hammerspace]
[Zero fades in, an X-Naut]
Shade: Uh.
Shadow: Does anybody have any idea what's going on?
[theChaos Alliance Artists Formerly Known as Artists Maybe Alternatively At One Point In The Script Known as the Chaos Alliance look at each other]
Nite: We, uh.
Egg: We were about to fight the End of All Things, I believe.
MK: You were? We were lost in a demon forest.
Mp+TD: Hey, watch it!
TD: My mother was a demon.
MK: You're right, I'm sorry.
Dark: But. If that's what we were all doing, why did we suddenly go back to..
[it starts pouring rain]
[the Artists At One Point Known as the Chaos Alliance huddle together a little bit]
Shade: ..you guys okay?
Shawn: Hunky-dorey.
Egg: Just a little scared of rain now, it seems.
[after quite a bit more awkward conversations like this, people start to drift out of the Dark Garden and see what else is out there]
[as it would happen, everything is normal, albeit raining]
DARK CHAO ADVENTURES, ENIGMATICALLY BROUGHT TO YOU BY
DJAY32
Chapter 9: After the End
[the Dark Garden fades in]
[Shade fades in, a grey Dark/Swim chao in a bandanna and wielding a crowbar]
[Dark fades in, a regular Dark chao with a guitar strapped to his back]
[Red fades in, a red Dark chao with machine gun in hand]
[Shadow fades in, a Dark/Run chao in a trilby and purple scarf]
[Shawn fades in, a Neutral chao in a trenchcoat]
[Tagliare fades in, a blue chao wearing a gas mask]
[Levity Nite fades in, a tall cloaked figure hiding an old green chao]
[Doctor Eggman fades in]
[Chao fades in, a Dark Chaos Chao who was once the ruler of the Hero Garden]
[Professor Shade fades in, an arbitrarily female grey Dark chao in a top hat]
[Amphis fades in, a red Neutral/Power/Power chao]
[Mephiles fades in, a demon that.. resembles Shadow the Hedgehog, he's from Sonic '06, that's what's important]
[Mecha Knuckles fades in, the thing from Sonic R]
[the Tails Doll fades in, the other thing from Sonic R]
[Shade Junior fades in, a young Dark chao with stilts and a cloak hidden away in hammerspace]
[Zero fades in, an X-Naut]
Shade: Uh.
Shadow: Does anybody have any idea what's going on?
[the
Nite: We, uh.
Egg: We were about to fight the End of All Things, I believe.
MK: You were? We were lost in a demon forest.
Mp+TD: Hey, watch it!
TD: My mother was a demon.
MK: You're right, I'm sorry.
Dark: But. If that's what we were all doing, why did we suddenly go back to..
[it starts pouring rain]
[the Artists At One Point Known as the Chaos Alliance huddle together a little bit]
Shade: ..you guys okay?
Shawn: Hunky-dorey.
Egg: Just a little scared of rain now, it seems.
[after quite a bit more awkward conversations like this, people start to drift out of the Dark Garden and see what else is out there]
[as it would happen, everything is normal, albeit raining]
DARK CHAO ADVENTURES, ENIGMATICALLY BROUGHT TO YOU BY
DJAY32
