Saturday, September 19, 2009

"Libfairy Gear Shade" is the most WHAT THE FUCHIA episode I've ever written. Ever.


geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeronimoaaand they all lived happily ever after. ...'cause they all DIED.

Seeeeeeeeeeee 7 (AKA s6p2)
Eppy Fifty-hunderd and a eighty 58
"Libbbababsbbbbra GEarsedgg Sbad"


Chapter 914: Abooooooooard Lbaf8iry
[Raid is let go from his torture table thing, and exits into the hallway, completely naked]
Egg: Raid, you must continue your m-mission.
Raid: I need to find Shade first. He has my gear.
Egg: He was never a factor in the simulation. Leave him out of this.
Raid: I can't do much naked, especially in this absurdly cold temperature.
Egg: That's true. ...but, it's not THAT cold.
Raid: I think Shade has my gear.
Egg: Raid, you must take our Zero and his men. Recover Libfairy intact.
Raid: ..Doctor, are you under orders from the Patriots?
Egg: Your role-- that is, mission-- is to infiltrate the structure and disarm the terrorists--
Raid: Role? Why do you keep saying that?
Egg: Why not? This IS a type of role-playing game. Metal Gear Solid 2. I expect you to put up an awesome performance.
Raid: ..........Doctor, I just remembered something.
Egg: What is it?
Raid: I've never met you in person before!
Egg: Complete your mission according to the simulation!
Raid: Doctor, who are you?
Egg: We have Cream.
Raid: What do you mean by that?
Egg: Over and out.
[Raid continues moving through the hallway]
Egg: Raid, turn the console off right now!
Raid: Console-- wait, what?
Egg: The mission was a failure! Cut the power right now!
Raid: Doctor, what's wrong with you?
Egg: Don't worry. It's just a game. ..just a script. Like usual.
Cream: You'll hurt your eyes reading this script so close to the computer.
Raid: What are you talking about?
Egg: Raid, something odd happened to me last night as I was driving home...
Raid: You can drive?
Egg: I saw this object in the sky.. it glowed a bright, orange light... then BAM! It was gone.
Raid: ........
Egg: Now, what do you think happened to me?
Raid: ...what are you talking about?
Egg: *sigh* Never mind.
[Raid keeps walking]
Raid: What the..
Egg: The purple-backed gorilla from Mars likes to shove bananas filled with uranium up anything that moves. I NEED SCISSORS! 61!
Raid: ...*laughter*
Egg: The MASTER Chief, Shadow the Hedgehog, is being held in the B1 prison cell. Go! And rescue him!
Cream: Shadow...
Raid: Oh. Hi, Cream.
Cream: I owe you an apology...
Raid: If it's for the conversation earlier, don't worry about it. I'M the one who's sorry.
Cream: No... me being your teacher at Day Care wasn't just a coincidence. I was ordered to keep an eye on you...
Raid: No way...
Cream: the Patriots.
Raid: So... so you're a spy?
Cream: It's not like I'm Rouge the Bat, or anything.... sure, I kept tabs on everything you did, but that was just part of the job...
Raid: Was letting me sleep in your bed because I was having nightmares just "part of the job," too?
Cream: N-no! I swear, Shadow, I grew fond of you... you are a nice chao...
Raid: I can't believe this.. no matter where I go, I get used.
Cream: Please, Shadow... I still want to be your friend. I want to teach you how to live... how to love...
Raid: This is just... I mean... that would explain why they selected you to be the mission analyst at the last minute!
Cream: Please, I know what I did was wrong...
Raid: Forget it. I.. I don't know what to think anymore.
[Raid continues walking]
Shade: Amazing how you can walk around like that, completely naked and all...
[Raid turns around, and Shade is there, wearing his bandanna and no navy suit]
["Solid Shade (Shade)" appears on-screen]
Raid: Shade!
Shade: Been waiting long?
Raid: *sneeze*
[Shade gives him back his gear, and he gets dressed]
Chapter 3o2: Bakc in geadr
Shade: Sorry about earlier. I had to use you as bait to get into Libfairy.
Raid: Why didn't you tell me about the female Shade?
Shade: You didn't ask. *grin*
Raid: *sigh*
Shade: Still mad about that? Get over it.
Raid: ...any effects of the virus yet?
Shade: Not yet. And from the looks of it, Zero's taking this baby to Manhattan. Oh, and there's a room full of Eeksuus ahead.
Raid: How many?
Shade: She-Shade says about twenty-five, give or take.
Shade: Sure, I've never fought that many at once before, but... we can deal.
[Shade pulls out a katana]
Shade: By the way, she asked me to give this to you.
[Raid takes the blade, and swings it around a bit]
Raid: Awesome.
Shade: Now, c'mon. Let's do this.
[they move on]
Tails: Shade, Raid!
Shade: Otakit! How are the hostages?
Tails: Taken care of. How are things on your end?
Shade: We're managing.
Raid: Hey, Otakit... what do you know about the Doctor?
Tails: Just what Wikipedia tells me about Doctor Who.
Raid: No, not THAT Doctor; I mean Eggman.
Tails: Oh. Well.. why?
Raid: My last transmission with him was a little... strange.
Tails: Interference?
Raid: No, nothing like that... just... strange.
Tails: I see. I'll dig around a little.
Raid: Thanks.
[in the next room, a camera spots them, and tons of Libfairy Soldiers come and fight them; they escape into another hallway]
Tails: Raid, I did some digging around about Eggman. I found out where he is.
Raid: Well, where is he?
Tails: Inside Libfairy.
Raid: Wh..what?
Tails: I've done a lot of thinking, but it all comes back to Libfairy. The origin of the calls-- not the relay point, but the ORIGIN-- was Libfairy. That, and the encryption codes were the exact same ones the DDS uses.
Raid: So... so.... so what?
Tails: You've been talking to an AI. While Eggman, himself, isn't an AI, Libfairy probably created this one.
Raid: Of course, with the Patriots and stuff like that...
[they keep walking for a bit]
Egg: Raid, they've got Cream! They've got her in the holds!
Shade: Don't listen to him, Raid. It's a trap.
Cream: Shadow, help me!
Raid: But...
Shade: RAID!
Raid: *sigh* It's all in my head... it's all in my head.
[they make it to the next room, and are ambushed by Libfairy soldiers]
[of course, they're no match for Solid Shade and Raid, are they?]
[then, suddenly...]
Honey: It's been a long wait, Solid Shade... the root of all my sorrows.
Honey: You left everyone, Shade... the Gardens, CPAK... everyone was wondering where you were.
Shade: I went underground after the tanker incident.
Honey: You left us. My sorrows... the only reason to live is to see it end. The wait is almost over...
Raid: You can't be serious about firing the nukes!
Honey: Since no one can kill me, I may as well kill everyone else. ..starting with you, Shade.
Shade: Raid, get out of here.
[Raid starts climbing a ladder]
Shade: You want eternal rest? I got it riiiiight here.
Chapter 43343: Rdi vrwrs thwe metal gear eeksuas
[cut to Raid atop a circular platform, his surroundings are nothing but blackness]
[Zero's voice is heard]
Zero: Shadow, I've been watching you fight. It seems you remember the good old days... or is it one of the S3 Plan's proud achievements?
Raid: What are you talking about?
Zero: S3 stands for Solid Shade Simulation. Levity Nite discovered these plans among Libfairy's databanks.
Raid: Solid Shade Simulation?
Zero: Yes.. it seems the Patriots wanted to recreate their perfect soldier via means of VR... sound familiar?
Raid: *gasp* No way...
Zero: ya wai. I had to put a stop to their "agent" before his final mission was complete.
[Zero appears on the platform]
Zero: No more games, Raid. I'm through playing them.
[Raid slowly and fearfully turns around]
[three Metal Gear Eeksuus are looking at him]
Zero: I've given you a worthy opponent, but now you can die like the little Shadowy boy I once knew!
[Zero disappears, and Raid is left there with the Eeksuus]
Raid: I really doubt I'll be able to survive this...
[he pulls out a rocket launcher]
Raid: That is, without this old baby.
[he fires three rockets at one Eeksuu; it collapses]
Raid: Ha! This won't be so tough.
[THUD! another one takes its place]
Raid: ...this is gonna be fun.
[he is surrounded by Eeksuus]
Raid: It's no use!
Zero: I expected you to put up more of a fight than THAT, Shadow.
[an Eeksuu raises its foot to crush Raid; the female Shade drops down in front of him; the Eeksuu backs off]
Zero: So, you've finally decided to show yourself.
SShade: Raid, get out of here.
Raid: But, your brother--
SShade: The Patriots are monitoring YOUR life status. If you die, my brother dies.
[BANG! SShade falls to the ground, dead]
Zero: I see. So THAT'S why you sold your troops out to me.
Zero: Now, let's return to where this fight left off. Shall we?
[the Eeksuus shake around, eyes red]
Zero: What the?
[the Eeksuus surround Zero]
Zero: What's going on?!
[Levity's voice is heard on a loudspeaker]
Nite: It would seem that Libfairy's AI is out of control. Perhaps some sort of virus?
Zero: The Patriots?
Nite: I.. I don't know!
Zero: Levity, what did you do?!
Nite: Nothing, I swear! The system's on an emergency ascent course!
[the Eeksuus move in]
Zero: Get the **** away from me.
[Zero hops up and rips the circuitry from one Eeksuu; it collapses]
[he tears right through another; it collapses]
[finally, he shoots the legs off of the last one; it collapses]
[he then uses a tentacle to pick Raid up]
Zero: You still have some use...
Honey: I've captured Solid Shade.
Zero: You have?
[Honey enters, shoving Shade through]
[Raid passes out]
Chapter 3354655564232455444444: a lsist of andrmes
[Raid wakes up on top of Libfairy; Levity Nite, Zero, Honey, and Shade are there, as well as an inactive Eeksuu]
Zero: Are you awake yet, Shadow?
Raid: Ugh...
Zero: You were able to corrupt Libfairy's AI. I underestimated you.
[Zero grabs Raid with a tentacle]
Zero: I'll just squeeze the answers out of you, instead.
[after a while, he drops him]
Honey: Why are you messing with him? You know he doesn't know anything.
Zero: It's not him I want the answers from...
Honey: What do you mean?
Zero: None of your business.
Honey: Oh, really? It just so happens that I have my own business to attend to.
[she turns and walks away]
Zero: Planning on hijacking Libfairy, are you?
[she stops abruptly]
Zero: I'm not gonna let you screw me over THAT easily.
Honey: Who talked? Levity?
Zero: Not exactly. I'm the one who told him to give you the idea in the FIRST place.
[she slowly turns]
Honey: What?
Zero: I was planning on GIVING you Libfairy, anyway.
Honey: Why the uncharacteristic generosity, Zero?
Zero: I'm no philanthropist; Libfairy is FAR from impregnable. It needs THOUSANDS of guards, warheads, ground, air and sea support, and can you imagine all the PLUBMING I'd have to do? Against a large attack force, Libfairy is nothing more than a giant COFFIN. No, seizing Libfairy was never the main objective.
Honey: Then... what WAS the main objective?
Zero: A list of names.
Honey: Whose names?
Zero: Well, since the Patriots were going digital, that means they must have put EVERYTHING in the AI. That includes the list of names of the twelve highest members of the Veteran's Committee!
Honey: I see... you were planning on picking them off, one-by-one, while we drew their fire with Libfairy.
Zero: Exactly.
Honey: You were using us.
Zero: Not unlike how you were using me. At least, PLANNING to.
Honey: But, your plan's hit a little snag with the DDS gone, huh?
Zero: Not exactly. There is another way.
Honey: Really? Ah, but I don't care. The purified nitrogen bomb is still here. I can still use it.
Zero: I won't stop you. That's what you intended to do all along.
Honey: Thank you. I shall use it well, too.
[she turns and walks away, but this time is stopped by Levity Nite's laughter]
Honey: What's so funny?
Nite: You, all of you, have been playing along to a little script...
Honey: *turns around* A little script? What do you mean?
Nite: Everything you guys are doing has been planned.. an exercise planned by us.
Zero: Exercise?
Nite: Yes, the S3 plan was designed to create an equal to Solid Shade, but the VR training was just the icing on the cake.
Zero: ...icing?
Nite: You think this terrorist scheme was all YOUR doing, Zero? It is really just a well-orchestrated rendition of CPAK.
Zero: WHAT?!
Nite: I'll clear some space.

Ames' and the president's deaths-- you didn't think that they were just a coincidence? They represented the MASTER Chief's and the CPAK Principal's deaths. Ames' own nanomachines were used to shut down his pacemaker. The president, while knowing what was going on, still chose to play out his alloted part. The virus.. well.. don't worry too much about that one, except for the fact that it was designed to erase every scrap of Patriot-related information from the database. In short, your plan was a failure before you even decided to execute it, Zero.

Fatcham was a different story. He was just there to test the boy's progress, and see if he was prepared to activate the test proper. We had to coax him into doing it; Shawn was here just for that purpose. We left no room for error. If the boy had failed to defeat Fatcham, and destroyed the facility in the process, then the exercise would have ended there.

Given the right situation, the right story, anyone can be shaped into somebody like Shade. Even rookies, like Shadow. You, the female Shade, Splintered Cell-- you were all just pawns in this brilliant simulation. Zero, you and Shadow were chosen for the job because your relationship resembled that of Shade and the big ol' boss, himself. Splintered Cell was chosen because they were the closest thing to Beaten Graves.

Honey, you were told that the eradification of Splintered Cell six months ago was the work of the Patriots. We worked so hard to get you vengeful and filled with hatred... and you opted for revenge, just as planned.

Honey: All orchestrated?
Nite: Except for the appearance of Solid Shade. I wonder who sent you?
[Honey points her SHOOP DA WHOOP cannon at Levity]
Honey: All our misfortune was just part of your plan...
Chapter 3943553566434646453356435555: toe maNHATNEan
[Levity shoots Honey in the chest-- he does not miss]
Honey: ACK! You... how did you...
Nite: You're no Lady Luck. You have been shielded by the Patriots since Day One, thanks to electromagnets and such.
Honey: I could have died whenever I wanted to...?
[Honey stands up, and aims the gun at him]
Nite: Huh? I thought I shot you in the heart...
[she shoots him, and misses]
Nite: Oh, that's right; YOUR heart's on the right.
[once more, she misses]
Nite: Yeah, your luck's run out, Honey. I have on me right now the very same electromagnetic field YOU did.
[she collapses]
Zero: Why, you...
[Zero pulls out a minigun and fires all the bullets, and misses every one of them]
[Levity hops up, into Eeksuu's cockpit; it starts up]
[Zero pulls out two swords]
[Eeksuu fires some bullets at him; he smoothly deflects all of them]
[one bullet hits Shade's handcuffs (which I forgot to mention), setting him free]
Nite: How's THIS, then?
[Eeksuu aims its missles at them]
Shade: Aw, crap.
[Honey gets up, and stands in front of Eeksuu]
Zero: Get out of here, Honey; you'll die in an instant!
Nite: Heh, your luck's run out, like I said. You want your reward? Okay, I'll give you all the payload Eeksuu's got!
[he fires all his missles at Honey; they all miss and are sent into the ocean (above which, they're flying)]
Shade: She really IS Lady Luck...
[Honey stumbles forward and coughs]
Honey: Forgive me, Shade... for I have hated the wrong person all this time...
[Honey dies]
[the front of Eeksuu opens up, revealing a huge cannon]
Zero: Oh, boy.
[suddenly, Levity's arm twitches]
Nite: No! Not now!
[Eeksuu stands up; Levity hops out, and speaks in a considerably different, calm, darker-ish voice]
Nite: Life... life is coarsing through my veins...... finally. *deep inhale* I can FINALLY.... LIVE!
Zero: Who are you?
Nite: Wouldn't YOU like to know?
Shade: Ah, don't tell me you're another Beta...
Nite: No. No, I'm not a Beta.
Shade: GOOD!
Nite: My name... is JOE.
Shade: ....are you SURE you're not a Beta?
Nite: Okay, so TECHNICALLY.. I was the ORIGINAL JOE, but I was also present in the days before DCA.
Shade: ...okay, so I won't get mad THIS TIME.
Nite: You know, Shade.. I was the one who gave you and Tails that anonymous tip regarding Metal Gear on the tanker.
Shade: Ah, so evil!
Nite: And now, I'm off to kill the Patriots. Tara!
[he hops back into Eeksuu, and jumps off Libfairy]
Shade: JOE!
[Shade follows, and jumps off, too]
Raid: SHADE!
[Libfairy then enters Manhattan, and slowly goes down and down; Raid and Zero fall off]
[they land atop a Gamestop, at about... 10 AM, I guess]
Zero: *laughter*
Raid: What are you laughing at?
Zero: Do you know what today is?
Raid: ...September 9th.
Zero: That's right. For one thing, Hughie Thomasson died on September 9th, 2007. *sigh* Rest in peace, Hughie.
Raid: He was an awesome guitarist...
Zero: Yes..... but, also, today, the Beatles: Rock Band is released, as well as the remasters of all the Beatles albums!
Raid: *gasp* There will be thousands of people heading to Gamestops worldwide!
Zero: YES! The perfect moment for Libfairy to strike-- when the nation is distracted by British music!
Raid: All you want is power...
Zero: I don't want power, Shadow. I want to take back everything the Patriots took away! Liberation, freedom... that stuff.
Raid: That stuff wouldn't even exist without the Patriots.
Zero: Hmmhmm... perhaps. But, is that really the best way to live? Under their silent rule?
Raid: Well...
Zero: And soon to be under their OBVIOUS rule! We would all become the "Sons of Libfairies!"
Chapter 26135457662336566632454646: a talk wit ygw patiropts
Raid: Uh... hold on just a bit, okay, Zero? I gotta take this.
Zero: Okay, go ahead.
Egg: Raid, are you recieving? We're still here.
Raid: How is that possible?! The AI was destroyed!
Egg: Only DDS.
Raid: Who... who are you?
Egg: We were formed by the White House, you could say. Everything moral and disciplinary of America, that's us.
Raid: Cut the crap! If you're immortal, why would you censor everything?
Egg: Calm down, Shadow. We have only YOUR interests, not ours, in mind.
Raid: What?
Raid: Ack!
Egg: The mapping of the human genome was completed early this century, and in theorem, the evolutionary cycle was in front of us.
Cream: We were able to essentially digitize life, itself.
Egg: But there are some things not covered by digital information.
Raid: Like wha--
Raid: Sorry!
Egg: Memories, ideas, culture... HISTORY!
Cream: Genes don't contain any trace of history.
Egg: Is history something that should not be passed on? Something that should be left to the mercy of nature?
Cream: We've always kept records of our history, in stuff like books, television, the internet...
Egg: But not all the information was inherited by future generations. Only a select portion of it. Like genes.
Cream: That's what history is, Shadow.
Egg: But in the current, digitized world, trivial information is gathering. Never deleted, just... gathering.
Cream: Rumors about petty issues, misinterpretations, slander...
Egg: All this junk data, preserved in an untouched state, growing at an alarming rate.
Cream: It will only slow down social progress, and hinder the pace of evolution.
Egg: Shadow, you seem to think our plan is one of censorship.
Raid: Are you telling me it's NOT--
Raid: Yes, ma'am!
Cream: We want to CREATE context, not CHANGE it.
Raid: Create?
Egg: The digital society furthers human flaws and selectively rewards the development of convenient half-truths.
Cream: Billions spent on new weapons in order to humanely murder otherhumans.
Egg: Rights of criminals are given more respect than the privacy of their victims.
Cream: Although poverty still exists in great numbers, people still spend their money to save endangered species.
Egg: Everyone grows up being told the same thing. "Be nice to each other!"
Cream: "But beat out the competition!"
Egg: "You're special!" "Believe in yourself, and you will succeed!"
Cream: But it's so obvious from the start that very few will succeed.
Egg: You exercise your right to "freedom" and this is the result. Confused morality, political "correctness..."
Cream: Everyone withdraws into their own gated community, afraid of the larger forum outside...
Egg: Their truths are let out into the real world. All these conflicting truths exist, but none are challenged.
Cream: The biggest case of cognitive dissonance EVER. Not even natural selecton can occur here!
Egg: And this is the way the world ends. Not with a BAAAAANG, but with a.....whimper...
Cream: We're trying to stop this from happening.
Egg: This is our responsibility as rulers. We must filter out all the unnecessary information in order to continue evolution.
Raid: And you think you are qualified to do that?
Cream: Grr...
Raid: ......sir, and ma'am?
Cream: That's better.
Egg: Absolutely. Who else could wade through all that garbage you produce, and find the useful information?
Cream: That is what is known as "creating context."
Raid: I'll decide what do believe, myself, thank you! ...sir and ma'am!
Egg: But is that really your own idea?
Cream: Or something Shade told you?
Egg: That's the proof of your incompetence, right there.
Raid: But I have the right--
Cream: Does something like a "self" exist inside you?
Egg: That which you call "self" serves as nothing more than a mask to cover your own being.
Cream: In this era of ready-made "truths," "self" is just something used to preserve those positive emotions that you occasionally feel...
Egg: Another possibility is that "self" is a concept you conveniently borrowed under the logic that it would endow you with some sense of strength...
Raid: That's crap!
Egg: Is it? Would you rather have someone else tell you?
Cream: Shadow, you're awesome! You rule! And you got to be so awesome all by yourself!
Raid: ........
Egg: Oh, what happened? Do you feel lost? Why not try a bit of soul-searching?
Cream: Don't think you'll find anything, though...
Egg: Isn't it ironic that whenever something good happens, it's yourself, but if it's bad, it's something else?
Cream: "It's not my fault. It's not your fault."
Egg: It's denial. You look for more convenient truths, and Al Gore, to make you feel better.
Cream: Leaving behind in an instant the so-called "truth" you once embraced.
Egg: Should someone like that be able to decide what is "truth?"
Cream: Should someone like you even have the right to decide?
Egg: You've done nothing but abuse your freedom.
Cream: You don't deserve to be free!
Egg: We're not the ones smothering the world. You are.
Cream: The individual is supposed to be weak, but far from powerless-- one person could ruin the whole world.
Egg: And the advent of the digital age has given too much power to the individual. Too much power for an immature species.
Cream: People used to struggle to build a legacy. Now, we do all the thinking for them.
Egg: We are your guardians, after all. And, in the case of chao, your OWNERS.
Raid: You want to control thought? Behavior?
Egg: Of course. Anything can be quantified nowadays. That's what this exercise was designed to prove.
Cream: You grew attatched to me, after all, didn't you? I was your teacher in Day Care.
Egg: Levity Nite was not told the whole truth, to say the least.
Cream: We rule an entire nation -- of what interest would a single soldier, no matter how able, be to us?
Egg: The S3 Plan does not stand for Solid Shade Simulation. What it does stand for is Selection for Societal Sanity... the S3 is a system for controlling human will and consciousness. S3 is not you, a soldier trained in the image of Solid Snake. It is a method, a protocol, that created a circumstance that made you what you are.
Cream: WE are the S3 plan, not YOU.
Egg: What you experienced was the final test of its effectiveness.
Raid: That's crazy.
Egg: You heard what the President said.
[Eggman's voice changes to that of the president]
Pres: The Libfairy's "DDS" system is the key to their supremacy.
[his voice changes back]
Egg: Our goal was to establish such a method. We used CPAK as a paradigm for the test.
Cream: I wonder if you'd have preferred a fantasy setting?
Egg: We chose that for its extreme circumstances. If you could solve it, you could do anything. And now, we have our proof.
Raid: ...argh.
Egg: There are plenty of other reasons behind your selection. Zero raised plenty of chao soldiers-- why you?
Raid: Uh.. I don't know.
Egg: It was because you were the only one who refused to acknowledge the past. You turn your back on anything you dislike.
Cream: You do whatever you like, and see only what you want-- for yourself, alone.
Egg: Yes, Cream can attest to that. You see, you are the perfect representation of the masses we want to protect.
Cream: You obeyed our orders, like a good boy. You listened, and did as you were told.
Egg: The real objective behind this was to ensure that we could generate and manipulate feelings, beliefs, and reality.
Cream: Were we successful? Of course.
Egg: Well, I think that's enough talk. It's time for your final test. Raid, take Zero down.
Raid: Think again! I'm through doing what I'm told!
Egg: Are you sure you're not forgetting something?
[he manipulates his voice to sound like SShade]
SShade: If you die, my brother dies.
[back to normal]
Egg: Termination of your vital signs will result in the execution of that chao. Not to mention Cream. She's wired the same.
Raid: Cream... is she even real?
Cream: Of course I am, Shadow! You've got to beLIEve me!
Raid: Dang...
Egg: It will be a fight to the death.
Cream: Zero, at least, wants you dead.
Egg: We will collect the remaining data from this last test, then deem the exercise closed.
Raid: WAIT! I have one last question...
Egg: Well, alright. We may as well let you ask.
Raid: What.. what about DCA? I heard Levity Nite say it would end... is that true?
Egg: ...
Cream: ...
Egg: DCA must live on.
Cream: Yes, it must.
Egg: That is the answer you had hoped to hear, correct? Well, it's WRONG. DCA must end.
Cream: It has gone on long enough. It does nothing but continue political "correctness" and the spreading of lies.
Egg: It's not the ONLY fanfiction we're shutting down, mind you, but it might possibly be the biggest.
Cream: Seven seasons... wow. 58 episodes, was it? This is the 58th, right?
Egg: We'll consider leaving all 58 of them intact. Our orignal intent was to completely delete all traces of it, but...
Cream: But, the truth is, we quite enjoyed a large number of the episodes.
Raid: Then why not let it keep going?
Egg: Like I said, it is classified as one of the "trivial pieces of information" that we must get rid of.
Cream: We're only keeping the 58 episodes as sort of a... guilty pleasure.
Egg: These are not the only reasons behind its ending, but these are the only reasons we will give.
Cream: Now then, Shadow Eater... who will it be?'
Egg: Zero, the creation of the Patriots, or YOU, the creation of Zero? Our little monsters... enjoy yourselves.
Chapter 124468578348 23124283523 5 4q84qr58w4672345w467e34678ey663476777777777777: raid vwsuah oro
Raid: Okay, sorry about that. Where were we?
[Zero gets up]
Zero: Uh.. oh, yeah. Shadow... my son. My "brothers" and I are called "monsters." Replications of evil genes.
Raid: Monsters?
Zero: You, while special, are still a monster. And we must decide, out of all the monsters, who deserves survival.
[Zero clenches his fist]
Zero: By the way, Shadow, I was the one who killed your parents.
Zero: I claimed you for my own, and transformed you into a soldier.
Raid: But... why?
Zero: I needed to know if we were really just people's creations. We're repeating history, Shadow.
[Zero tosses Raid's katana at him; he catches it]
Zero: I have other reasons for wanting you dead. For one thing, the information of the Patriots is gone, except...
Zero: ..the last of it is in YOUR HEAD.
Zero: The information is being carried throughout the nanomachines in your neural cortex.. and... stuff.
[dramatic camera angles]
Zero: Hm. Good work, Shadow, but this is where things get interesting!
[one of Zero's tentacle arms grabs Raid]
Raid: Aw, ****, this is the WORST time for a call..
Zero: Ya got another call?
Raid: Yeah... sorry.
Zero: it's okay. I'll wait.
Raid: Thanks.
Egg: Raid, you have to beat Zero! This is your last duty!
Raid: We're not just pawns in some simulation game, you know!
Cream: Yes, you are! You're no different than a fighter jet, or a tank.
Raid: Wha?
Egg: A weapon has no right to think for itself. Now, go! Go and defeat Zero! Fulfil your purpose in life!
[Zero and Raid lock eyes]
[Zero dashes forward; Raid dodges]
[Raid quickly stabs him in the back]
[Zero falls over the edge of the building]
[the camera shows him dramatically falling IN SLOW MOTION]
[SMACK! He lands, and his corpse is stuck on the neck of a guitar controller on display outside the store]
[cut to the street by the store; Raid is standing there; people are walking by, not even noticing him]
Raid: Who am I, really?
Shade: No one quite knows who or what they are.
[Raid turns around, and Shade is there]
Raid: Shade! What happened to Levity?
Shade: Eh, he got away. But, I put a transmittor on the Eeksuu.
Raid: Was he heading for the Patriots?
Shade: Yeah. But, they probably gave him a bogus location to start with. But, we have a better lead.
[Shade pulls out a disc]
Shade: This contains a list of names of all the Patriots.
Raid: But.. but Levity took it!
Shade: We gave you a fake.
Raid: Oh.
Shade: This virus was designed to delete the names from the database, which means there's probably a parameter in there with that information on it.
Raid: I get it! Analyze the code, and you'll find the list! Count me in!
Shade: No. You have people to talk to first.
[Shade walks away; Raid turns around, and Cream is there]
Raid: Cream...
Cream: Hello, Shadow.
[they hug]
Cream: Do you remember what today is yet?
Raid: Of course. Today's the release date of The Beatles: Rock Band! I've been looking forward to it for FOREVER!
Cream: *giggle* Yay, you remembered! And, to celebrate you being a good boy and finishing the mission...
[Cream pulls out a copy of the game]
Raid: ZOMG YAY! Thank you very much!
[they walk off-screen; the camera pans New York City while it fades to black]
was created by DJay32
in loving memory of his beloved chao...
including Shade and Shadow.

Tails: Shade, this is Otakit. I've finished going over that disc.
Shade: Did you find the list of names?
Tails: Oh, there was a list of names, all right. Twelve people, all living in Manhattan.
Shade: Uh-huh?
Tails: One of the names was one of our biggest contributors.
Shade: What the?
Tails: And... all twelve people are already dead.
Shade: They ARE? When did THIS happen?
Tails: Over a hundred years ago.
Shade: What is going on here?

Season Seven: THE END just beginning.
Chapter 1281761261216271631318938424813131831831831831831381381381318318318318318388383838383838383838: thes neend???????
[cut to the Dark Garden; Shade just got back, and stumbles in; he tosses his bandanna to the side]
Shade: Ugh... what a mission.
[Shadow comes in, too, and tosses his weird suit thing to the side]
Shadow: Ugh... I know what you mean.
[Dark comes up to them]
Dark: SHAAAAADE! Where have you BEEN for the past two years?
Shade: Please... don't ask.
Dark: Well.. things have been odd without you.
Shade: I don't care! I just want to sleep. I've had a long day...
Shadow: Yes, please, Dark, let us get some sleep.
Dark: Who the heck are YOU?
Shadow: I'm.. Shadow. I used to live here.
Dark: Eh, I don't remember you.
Shadow: Just let us sleep, please!
[Shadow and Shade both sleep on the island at the other end of the pool]
[the next morning...]
Shadow: Ugh.. what a dream. I dreamt the story actually revolved around me for once.
Shade: Funny. I had a similar dream.
[at the sound of that voice, they instantly get up, and find themselves in the Space/Time Rip beyond the yadda yadda]
[the one who made the voice was a Dalek, surrounded by a few others]
Shade: Great, time for another Grey Journey........
Shadow: I don't like the sound of this.
Shade: And I was just getting used to it, too.
Shadow: I'm gonna be a Dark/Swim chao, too?
Dalek1: ...HE'S NEW.
Shade: Does this mean we aren't moving to another story arc?
Shadow: The Veteran's Committee... that's the twelve people at the top of the Patriots, right?
Dalek3: CORRECT.
Shadow: Um... could somebody explain to me what this whole "Green Journey" thing is?
Shade: Basically, you gotta go around, collecting these seven...
Dalek1: GREEN.
Shade: Green chaos drives. ..hey, that's awesome! I wish my chaos drives were grey, or something...
Shadow: Okay, so what happens when I get all seven?
Shade: You'll transform into a Dark/Run chao. Don't worry; it rocks.
Shadow: Um... okay.
Dalek1: GREY ONE.
Shade: Yeah?
Shade: Oh. You want me to.. be his partner? His teammate? He's the hero, I'm not?
Shadow: This might just be fun.
Shade: Enjoy it while it lasts, buddy.
Shadow: Oh, I will.
Shade: So, uh... will Season Eight be called "The Green Journey," and have ten episodes, or something?
Dalek3: N......OT... EXACTLY.
Shade: What's that supposed to mean?
Shade:, they're worse than the Beta Avengers?
Shade: Great, greenie gets to fight the cooler enemies.
Shadow: Yay!
Shade: So, what does this mean?
Shade: Just tell me in English!
Shadow: Oh, boy... and it took us five episodes just to finish this ONE story.
Shadow: So, um... Dalek people? Where is the first chaos drive?
Shade: Gears of War time?
Shade: ................................AW, HELLS YES! Teleport me there, sucka!
Shadow: Wait, hang on... why do I need to be a Dark/Run chao, again?
Shade: You'll have enough power by then, when combined with my power, to kick some Veteran's Committee butts.
Dalek1: WE SHALL NOW TELEPORT YOU TO(WIe9-awujrui9bgqy8e4t e3ui90q3or
asko-rjtaestod90yuts s
Chapter 9: Things Went Wrong.


[cut to Shadow, the green Dark chao, sitting in a red chair]
Shadow: Hi. I'm Shadow. The backstory to this episode is complicated, but I'll try to explain it, anyway. Lemme clear some space.

Okay, so my codename is "Raid," and I was ordered to sneak around this oil clean-up facility which secretly was actually a nuclear housing site. These terrorists hijacked it, although they actually didn't, and then there's Shade, who died two years ago, yet he can't actually be dead because I think I'm talking to his ghost. Or something. Then there's this weird guy.. who... who... he says he's Shade, yet he's obviously not... and..... and... uh... Metal Gear's back, and it's gonna kill me.. and there's a ninja... and this fox who.. uh.. I dunno, and then Shawn died in an explosion caused by Cham, who apparently is a demolitions expert, and was apparently recruited by the terrorists, who by the way are called "Splintered Cell..." and... and... and... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! IT'S COMPLICATED! Read the past three episodes, why don'tcha?! I QUIT!
[Shadow gets up and leaves the room]
[he pops back in]
Shadow: Enjoy this episode. :D

Season 7 (AKA Season 6, part two)
Episode Fifty-seven
The Game-Maker Must Be Crazy! part four:
"The Metal Gear Shade 2 Graphic Novel"

Before the episode starts, I offer you this little deleted scene from the previous episode:
[as Raid is on his way to the connecting bridge]
Cream: Raid, I finally got some information on that Pliskin guy.
Raid: Great! Lemme hear it!
Cream: He can't be "Snake Pliskin."
Raid: Why not?
Cream: "Snake Pliskin" was the main protagonist in the movie, "Escape from New York."
Raid: Oh. ..well... was it a good movie?
Cream: Much better than I had predicted, actually. I don't normally like action movies, but that was... wow!
Raid: So it WAS a good movie?
Cream: Very.
Raid: Okay.
Raid: Um... bye.

We pick up where the previous episode left off-- on the connecting bridge between Shells 1 and 2.
[Raid peeks over the railing, and a giant, bipedal robot rises out of the water]
[the camera zooms in on Pliskin's gray face]
Pliskin: Metal Gear...
[inside the cockpit of Metal Gear, Solidus Shade is feeling his face]
Solidus: ...****, they got my eye!
[his eye is missing]
Solidus: They'll pay for that.
[he fires some giant missles out of Metal Gear Eeksuu; the bridge is totalled, and Raid is on the side closest to Shell 2]
Solidus: Echo! C'mon!
[cut to inside the chopper; Tails and Pliskin are watching as a chao runs across the water]
Tails: What the heck is THAT thing?
Pliskin:'s running on water...
[the chao runs up a wall, and into a nearby Strut]
[Eeksuu swims away]
Chapter 1: Botanicus Livingus Legendio
Pliskin: Raid, you okay?
Raid: Ugh... yeah, I'm fine. How about you guys?
Pliskin: We're... managing.
Raid: The chopper?
Pliskin: Er.. not so much. We need some time for repairs.
Raid: Oh.
Pliskin: The President's all yours, kid.
Raid: .....Pliskin, are you THE Shade? I mean... they said you were dead.
[from now on, "Pliskin" is "Shade" :D]
Shade: Dead? Not me. There's too many things I need to do first.
Raid: But... I need to ask you something. After all, you're a legend...
Shade: I'm no legend. A legend is just fiction. Something you pass on to others. I'm just a guy who loves adventure.
Raid: Well, I'm only here because I was assigned this mission. I'd be outta here in a second if it were up to me.
Shade: Pfft, I bet you WOULD.
Raid: My question is... how could you come back to all this? Why keep fighting?
Shade: There's something my best friend once said to me.
Raid: Uh-huh?
Shade: We're not tools of the government, or anybody else. I fight because... that's what I'm best at. I always fight for that in which I believe.
Raid: What about the dead body? The one that was positive-ID'd as being yours?
Tails: Oh, that? Heh, it's amazing what happens when you go on Google and look up "Shade corpse ragdoll..."
Raid: Are you guys really a Non-Government Organization?
Tails: In the way that we work for what we believe in, yes. We specialize in disabling the threats of Metal Gears.
Raid: But... why stick your neck out for something so risky?
Shade: Heh, that's the way I used to look at it... before my Gray Journey, two years ago. That really changed me.
Tails: We've got to keep track of our mistakes for the upcoming generations, so we might learn how to correct ourselves.
Raid: Hm. So... Otakit, is that the only reason you're here?
Tails: WELL... the terrorists have my friend's chao here. I want to save him.
Shade: We're here out of our own will. No assignments.
Raid: Thank you for answering my questions... and nice to meet you, Shade.
Raid: Doctor, they have Metal Gear up and fully operational...
Egg: That may be, but you might still be able to stop them. Rescue the president!
Raid: ...Eggman... you were monitoring my Codec calls. That guy... he's the real Shade. The real deal.
Egg: Maybe.
Raid: "Maybe?"
Egg: Don't let your guard down with him.
Raid: Doctor, why do you say that?
Egg: Because you went through a ****ing simulation of this mission; that chao was never a part of it. He's an unknown factor.
Raid: Well, you can take your simulation and....!!! We're out here; we LIVE; we BLEED; we DIE!
Cream: Please calm down, Shadow...
Egg: Yes, I suggest you do, Raid. Even if that IS Shade, he has no bearing on your mission.
Raid: Doctor, you and Shade used to be on the same side... I read about you in the CPAK school newspaper...
Egg: I don't give a ****ing **** what that piece of ****-filth trash says about me. Do you get me?
[Raid stays still for a bit, still thinking about things]
Raid: .........*siiiiiiiiigh* Better get moving.
[he sneaks around the Struts of Shell 2 (the ones that are still up and running)]
[eventually, he makes it to the Shell 2 core]
Raid: Hmm... if I were the terrorists, where would I hide the president?
[he sees a door and opens it]
[...the president is right there]
Raid: plain sight, I guess.
Chapter 2: Botanicus Presidentio Rescuum
Raid: President Jimmy James Jimmy-Bob Jack Johnson James John Jeffrey James Jon James Jackson Johnson.
Pres: You finally showed up.
Raid: You were expecting me?
Pres: Your skeleton suit isn't exactly Government material.
Raid: Are you alright?
Pres: this some kind of sick joke?
Raid: Wha?
Pres: If you're going to kill me for betraying my nation, don't **** with me!
Raid: But...
Pres: Who are you with, boy?
Raid: PROWLER, sir.
Pres: Hmm... PROWLER. Things are finally starting to make sense.
Raid: What do you mean? Why did you cooperate with the terrorists, anyway?
Pres: I wanted power. Absolute power.
Raid: But.. you HAVE power! You're the--
Pres: --the President? Please. I have no power. I'm just a figurehead. The REAL power lies with the Patriots.
Raid: The... Patriots?
Pres: The truth behind EVERYTHING. I'm not surprised you haven't heard of them. Few have, even those with code clearance.
Raid: But......
Pres: They decide everything-- politics, economics, you name it. They even decide who becomes president.
Raid: No way!
Pres: Hard to believe, isn't it? They do, though. And everything I supposedly do, they plan it all in advance.
Raid: B-but.. what about democracy?
Pres: "Democracy?" That's just a filler for textbooks. Do you honestly believe the government cares about what you say?
Pres: This country is shaped the way the Patriots see fit. The government is just a ploy for the public's entertainment!
[Raid stares at him]
Pres: Don't look at me like that. I'm legally sane, you know.
Raid: It's not your sanity that scares me...
Pres: *sigh* The Patriots... not even I know who the actual members are. Business? World leaders? Military? I don't know. Even my instructions come from a cut-out. All I know is that all my key decisions are made by twelve people part of something called the "Veteran's Committee."
Raid: The Veteran's Committee?
Pres: Yes. When I became president, I still.. did not feel right. I wanted TRUE power. I... I wanted to be a member of them.
Raid: And that justifies acts of terrorism?
Pres: Of course! I planned to use Metal Gear as a bargaining chip...
Raid: A bargaining chip?
Pres: But, I underestimated Solidus... he wants to CHALLENGE the Patriots! Even if it means ending life as we know it...
Raid: What are you saying?
Pres: Like it or not, but life without the Patriots... would be chaos. They control EVERYTHING. Can you imagine...
Raid: ...if everything I know and love ceased to operate?
Pres: Exactly. When I told Solidus that I wished to prevent destruction, he simply said pawns could not become players.
Raid: ...who IS Solidus?
Pres: My predecessor, Sam "Fisher" Sears. That's what the public knew him by, but I knew him by his codename, "Zero." I'm n--
Raid: Wait, wait, wait... Zero? Are we taking about the same guy?
Pres: Yes, yes, um... all this time, we have been saying "Zero," but in the script, he was called "Solidus."
Raid: ........did you just..
Pres: Break the fourth wall? Somewhat. I was fixing a plot hole, which must always be done at all costs.
Raid: Um.. okay, carry on.
Pres: Anyway, he comes from a group of his own, called the Ex Nowts. They all want the same thing-- to challenge the Patriots. Somehow, Zero became president, but fell out of grace with the Patriots about a few years ago...
Raid: A few years ago? ...CPAK!
Pres: Yes. The very development of Sumasshu went against the Patriots' plans, and Zero made things worse by sending in his own spy, Levity Nite, in to provoke Lam Mink and cause the infamous incident. However, he ended up revealing the existence of the genome army AND of Sumasshu, which REALLY made the Patriots mad. So, he lost his presidency.
Raid: I always thought he resigned...
Pres: The public story. He was fired, and I was selected to take his place.
Raid: So, the presidential race is all a myth? A show just for the public?
Pres: Indeed. The next scene in that show WAS Zero's untimely death, as his "health" would fail him. However, he was able to get underground with the help of Levity Nite. Eventually, he gained control of Splintered Cell, and has been waiting ever since...
Raid: Waiting for?
Pres: The completion of the new Metal Gear project. Once he has control of Metal Gear, the Patriots will be quite shocked, and he will actually pose a threat to them. So, he must be stopped...
Raid: Metal Gear is already operational...
Pres: I REALLY hate to say this, but... you're wrong. What you saw, I LOATHE to say... was not the project.
Raid: ...........................****.
Pres: Mmhmm. That was just Metal Gear Eeksuu, hijacked two years ago.
Raid: Then... where IS the new Metal Gear?
Pres: You're standing in it.
Raid: Get outta town.
Pres: I am quite serious. You are currently in the upper structure of "Libfairy Gear."
Raid: "Libfairy?"
Pres: That's right. We're talking about a HUGE vessel filled with a couple hundred thousand nuclear warheads, all guarded by a horde of mass-produced Eeksuus.
Raid: M-mass-produced?!
Pres: A-yup. The Marines orignally designed Eeksuu as a countermeasure for all the Sumasshus, but the Patriots redesigned it to defend Libfairy.
Raid: So, anti-Metal Gears are defending the biggest Metal Gear of all?
Pres: Ironic, isn't it? That's not all. Libfairy contains access to the Military Network, giving it full control over the army.
Raid: What kind of idiotic weapon--
Pres: Weapon? No. You're not seeing the big picture. Libfairy is more than just a military tool... it is a way to preserve the world as the way it is. The Patriots feel threatened, you see...
Raid: Threatened?
Pres: By the digital age. They feel that, with the advent of digital information, the public has a chance to find out the truth. So, they designed Libfairy to be able to edit all that information as they see fit. They want to re-establish their power in society.
Raid: B-but... but...
Pres: I had hoped to use Libfairy as a bargaining chip, to try and get my own power. However, Zero has shown that he plans on using it to establish Inner-Outer Heaven... by utilizing the Compton Effect on Manhattan, he will disable the business systems in America, which will definitely pose a massive threat to the Patriots.
Raid: what do I have to do?
Pres: You have to find Cheese. He's the only one who can stop Libfairy by now.
Raid: Cheese?
Pres: He should be in the Locker Room in B1 of this core. Once you find him, give him this.
[the president hands Raid a disc]
Pres: There's a virus on there. It's the only way to stop Libfairy.
[he turns around, and sighs]
Pres: Well, I've told you all you need to know. There's only one last thing left...
[he turns again, to face Raid]
Pres: Kill me.
Raid: Wha?!
Pres: They're going to need my confirmation soon! By doing this, you'll at least prevent a nuclear strike!
Raid: But... but...
Pres: DO IT!
[the president drops to the ground; Raid is not wielding any weapons]
[Levity Nite, however, IS.]
Nite: That's abusing your right to free speech, Mister President.
[he blows away some smoke by the barrel of his gun]
Nite: Or should I say... Mister EX-President?
Raid: You.. why did you...
Nite: Alas, my finger must have slipped. I'll see you around, Carrier Boy.
[Levity Nite leaves the room]
Raid: Doctor, the president is dead.
Egg: I see... I'm sorry to hear that.
Raid: Where.. where do we go from here?
Egg: Well, your mission WAS to rescue the president, but, given the recent turn of events, you must honor the president's last directive. Raid, you must put a stop to Libfairy Gear.
Raid: Do you really think there IS a Libfairy, deep down in the ocean?
Egg: I do not have the proper clearance to prove that, but he was THE PRESIDENT! The freaking PRESIDENT!
Raid: And he was part of the terrorist plot.
Egg: All the more reason I believe his information was reliable.
Raid: What about that talk about the Patriots?
Cream: It's news to me. I'll look 'em up and see what I can find.
Egg: Find and rescue Cheese, Raid. He's in B1, the Locker Room!
Raid: Understood... Raid out.
Shade: What's your status, Raid?
Raid: Shade, the president... he's dead.
Shade: WHAT?! And the nuclear launch codes?
Raid: He died before they could get them.
Shade: Oh, good. At least we prevented that.
Raid: But... Levity Nite killed him. He must have known that they needed him, but... why did he kill him?
Tails: Maybe they found another way to activate the nukes?
Shade: Or maybe they found a much cooler weapon within Libfairy Gear.
Shade: Yeah.
Raid: Wh..why didn't you tell me?
Shade: You didn't ask.
Raid: Pardon me for assuming, but you also knew about the Big Shell being a front for it, right?
Shade: You mean, did I know that the Big Shell, a fully-functional environmental clean-up facility, was used to camoflauge Libfairy Gear? Yeah. I did.
Raid: Right... and when did you find out about all this?
Shade: It took a while, but we figured it out around the time you took out that mad bomber.
Raid: really are a living legend.
[they spend a long, uneventful time recapping the tanker incident, with Shade explaining that Tails had provided a boat to save him after the tanker sunk; they also establish that Tails and Shade already knew about the Patriots]
Shade: Raid, you've got to save Cheese.
Raid: Got it. I'll do that.
Chapter 3: Botanicus Morivus Rescuum
NOTE: Yeah, from now on, chapters will be really long. Some might be normal length, but... most will be extended in length.
[so, Raid goes down to B1, and finds the whole place flooded]
Raid: Ugh, just my luck.
[he swims through]
[underwater, he opens a certain door, and out floats Shawn the Dark's dead body]
Raid: !!!
[he awkwardly swims around the body, and makes it through the submerged hallways]
[he then finds himself no longer underwater, instead above water on a platform/bridge thing]
[in front of him is the vampire guy]
Raid: Still tickin', huh?
Echo: Unfortunately, Hell had no vaccines.
["Echo (Echo)" appears on-screen]
[Raid shoots three shots; two are dodged, the third strikes Echo's cheek]
Echo: Heh.. as I thought. Muscles are so eloquent.. they point out every movement you make before you even make them.
[Echo scans Raid]
Echo: But, your muscles... your suit... you're kinda weird. This will be fun. Well worth the wait.
Raid: You knew I was coming?
Echo: I couldn't let you interfere with Libfairy.
[Echo points at the door behind him]
Echo: The chao is just ahead. He's no use to us now, though. He's so awkward. The boss thought he was a girl at first.
Raid: He's still alive?
Echo: Perhaps. Oh, and you thought that killing the president would prevent a nuclear strike?
Raid: But I didn't--
Echo: Libfairy still has a purified nitrogen bomb.
Raid: O SNAP...
Echo: Yes... Splintered Cell lost all credibility, all dignity, everything we ever had six months ago...
Raid: The public didn't listen to you, so you vowed to get revenge on the Patriots?
Echo: Exactly.
Announcer: Final check for Libfairy complete. All non-essential employees, report to your stations.
Echo: Hmm.. sounds like Libfairy's ready.
[Echo points to the water below them]
Echo: This water isn't regular water, you know. It's all.. chemicals and stuff. No buoyancy. You go down, you don't come up.
[Raid gulps]
Echo: Take a look at your grave... 'cause it's the last thing you'll ever see.
[Echo charges forward; Raid shoots him in the face]
Echo: Ack!
[Echo falls over into the water]
Echo: ...well, this is quite ironic, isn't it? AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
[he sinks]
Raid: Doctor, they've finished the final check for Libfairy!
Egg: Quickly, save Cheese! You need to get that virus into the system!
[Raid enters the locker room, and opens an odd locker; a chao wearing a bow tie falls out, crying]
?: St-stay away!
Raid: Calm down! I'm not one of them. I'm here to save you. Are you Cheese?
Cheese: ..*sniff*... yes...
["Cheese the Chao (Cheese)" appears on-screen]
Raid: Now then, the president told me you were the only one who could stop Libfairy.
Cheese: He... he did?
Raid: Yes. I need you to come with me to Shell 1. A certain Mister Prower is there, waiting for you.
Cheese: Tails? ...okay... I'll come.
[Cheese holds on to Raid as he swims back half of the way, then they stop by an opening for a breather]
Raid: You holding up okay?
Cheese: Yeah.
Raid: Hello?
Cream: Shadow... what are you doing?
Raid: I'm helping Cheese get back to Shell 1, where Mister Prower will--
Cream: LIAR! You're just trying to escape from the mission.
Raid: Wait.. what? Where the P Diddy did you get an idea like THAT?
Cream: I've seen this before.. in class, you'd always want to daydream, or escape from reality...
Raid: Well, yeah, but that was in class--
Cream: And that's what you're doing NOW! This mission's stressing you out, so you're using Cheese as a scapegoat to escape from reality!
Raid: Wha-huh? That doesn't make any logical sense, Cream.
Cream: It doesn't HAVE to! It's still TRUE!
Raid: But it's not! Don't forget that I'm saving CHEESE, YOUR BEST FRIEND!
Cream: I don't care!
Raid: don't care?
Cream: I bet you still don't even remember what tomorrow is.
Raid: September 9th... I got it! It's your birthday, isn't it?
Cream: Not even close.
Raid: Well, what IS it, already?
Cream: Goodbye, Shadow.
Raid: .......that was odd.
Cheese: What? What was odd?
Raid: Oh, don't worry about it. C'mon, we're nearly there.
[Raid leads Cheese through the rest of the underwater Strut]
[at the end of the water place, they decide to talk]
Raid: Cheese... uh... you made this virus thing, right?
Cheese: Yeah. It's actually more of a worm cluster than a virus, but.. yeah.
Raid: Will it really stop Libfairy?
Cheese: It SHOULD.. I mean, it should put a stop to Libfairy's data distribution system.
Raid: You know about the DDS?
Cheese: Of course-- I created it.
Raid: ......
Cheese: Cat gotcher tongue? Heh...
Raid: ..yeah. Pretty much. So, why.. I mean... what's up with the DDS?
Cheese: It's... really hard to explain, so I'll just give you an example. Think about the alphabet.
Raid: Okay.
Cheese: 26 letters, right? What if it were actually 30, but the Patriots simply limited the last four?
Raid: No way!
Cheese: It's not that farfetched of a theory. Think about the gene theorem and stuff.
Raid: Wasn't it, like... 40,000 genes to a human, or something?
Cheese: Yes, but when it was orignally announced, it was 100,000. What happened to the extra 60?
Raid: You don't mean...
Cheese: Oh, but I do. The Patriots simply altered the reports to say 40,000.
Raid: But there were reports and research...
Cheese: Which were all altered, as well.
Raid: But.. but...
Cheese: The DDS is complex, simple, AND effective. It will shape the world the way the Patriots see fit.
Raid: So, what we're talking about here is basically one big censorship system?
Cheese: Hmm....... pretty much, yeah.
Raid: So, so... so.. Libfairy is simply the guard for the DDS?
Cheese: I guess you could say that, yeah.
Raid: ...uh... let's get back to moving.
Cheese: Okay.
[so, they resume moving]
Egg: Raid, I need to let you know...
Raid: Yep?
Egg: Remember, the connecting bridge is down?
Raid: Crap, I completely forgot. How will we get across, then?
Egg: There should be an oil slick down by the water... think of it as a really weird bridge of sorts.
Raid: Ah. Thanks, Doctor.
Raid: Uh... how are you on heights, Cheese?
Cheese: Can't say I like them. Why?
Raid: We're gonna have to go down a little.
Cheese: How much is "a little?"
[Raid opens up a hatch; a LONG ladder extends a long way down]
Raid: About 130 feet.
Cheese: .......wonderful.
Raid: I'll go first. Just don't look down, okay?
[they slowly descend the ladder, and reach the bottom]
Chapter 4: Botanicus Echovus Returnum
[the oil slick... yeah, it's kind of a really weird bridge]
[also, by this point, it's sunset. Just letting you know.]
[along the oil slick are a bunch of enemy sentries and soldiers]
Raid: Crap.
Cheese: Why do I not like the sound of that?
Raid: The oil slick bridge thing can only support about one of us at a time.
Cheese: Great.
Raid: Uh... Shade?
Shade: Yep? What's the problem?
Raid: We're at the oil slick... and it can only support one of us at a time.
Shade: Oh, I see what your problem is. And all the enemies are there, too...
Raid: Yeah.
Shade:'ve got a PSG1, right?
Raid: Uhhhh...
Shade: ..SNIPER RIFLE, genius.
Raid: OH! Yeah, I got that!
Shade: Good. Take care of the enemies from a distance. It's not so hard now, is it?
Raid: I guess not. Thanks.
Raid: Cheese...
Cheese: I don't like the sound of that.
Raid: You're gonna have to go first. I'll clear the enemies with sniper fire.
Cheese: Sniper fire. Great.
Raid: Just go!
[Cheese goes across the bridge as Raid clears the enemies out of the way]
[he's almost there when...]
Cheese: ACK!
[Echo appears out of nowhere and grabs him; he points a knife to his throat]
Raid: Oh, boy... what should I do?!
[Echo slowly drops into the water, a sniper bullet in his forehead]
[the camera turns to show Shade at the other side, a sniper rifle in his hands]
Shade: Yeah wut.
[Cheese stands still for a bit, and then waddles across the rest of the bridge to Shade, where he then collapses]
Raid: Oh, no!
[Raid runs across the bridge, and gets there]
Raid: What happened?
Shade: It seems... Echo was able to get a stab in. To his stomach.
Raid: Aw, jeez...
Shade: He's still alive. C'mon, if we hurry, we might be able to still do this.
[they make it to a computer room where Tails is waiting]
[they explain the situation, and Cheese musters up enough strength to do all the virus stuff]
[he then lies on the floor]
Cheese: ...Tails...
Tails: I'm here, Cheese... I'm here...
Shade: Psst.. Raid?
Raid: Yeah?
Shade: Look at the screen.
[Raid, Shade, and Tails look at the screen, which shows a blue screen with lots and lots of words on it]
[their eyes are wide]
Raid: What... what happened? Did Cheese do it wrong, or something?
Tails: No, I'm sure he did it right... maybe the Patriots altered the disc.
Cheese: Tails... is everything alright?
[Tails looks at Cheese, then looks at the Blue Screen of Death, then back at Cheese]
Tails: Um........ yeah, everything's fine.
Raid: Shade, what if the virus doesn't work?
Shade: Then we'll get aboard Libfairy and do some "hacking," ourselves. Besides, I've always wanted to talk to Zero again.
Cheese: Tails... can you do me a favor?
Tails: Sure, sure, Cheese... anything.
Cheese: ...tell Cream..... how I died... tell her I love her, and always will.....
Tails: Oh, no, Cheese, we're getting you out of here; I promise.
[Cheese goes limp]
Tails: ...Cheese?
[no response]
Tails: ........Cheese?!
[no response]
Tails: CHEESE! *sob* NO.. Cheese....
[the camera pans backwards as Tails sobs, while Shade and Raid just stand by the computer, eyes closed]
Announcer: Attention! Libfairy is ready for launch. All personnel, evacuate the upper floors immediately!
Shade: Crap. Sounds like they're cutting this place loose.
Raid: We'd better get down there before this thing takes off.
Tails: What about the hostages?
Shade: Otakit, you take care of them. Okay?
Tails: But.. I should be down there. You're saying I'll only get in your way.
Shade: Wrong. I'm saying only you can save those hostages. Their lives are depending on you.
Tails: ....okay, Shade. I understand. I'll save them.
[they walk to an elevator that goes down to Libfairy]
Shade: This is the place.
Tails: Good luck, you two.
Shade: Thanks, Otakit. You, too.
Raid: Now, how are we gonna open this thing?
Shade: You can come out now!
[the ninja/Mr. X guy falls from the ceiling]
Raid: You! What are you...
X: Libfairy is about to launch.
[Mister X points his katana at Raid]
Shade: Get ready, Raid. We've got to do this.
Raid: Now you're switching sides?!
Shade: I don't recall ever saying I was on yours.
Raid: Crap.
[Mister X taps the side of his helmet, and it goes transparent, revealing the female Shade inside]
Raid: What the--
[SShade knocks Raid out with her sword]
[the screen abruptly goes black]
Chapter 5: In the Belly of the Beast
[cut to Raid's point of view; things are blurry, and bright lights are above him]
[voices of Zero and Levity Nite are heard]
Zero: Is he still alive?
Nite: He was when Shade (female) brought him in. I've checked everything on this guy-- genomes, DNA, information-- nada.
[Raid tries to shake his head, but is too tired]
Nite: He doesn't exist in any database. He's a nonexistant character from a nonexistant organization.
Zero: I suspected as much. However, I know this chao. Wake him up.
[whatever platform Raid is resting on lowers, and turns to a weird angle to face Zero and Levity Nite]
[Zero now has two Doctor Octapus-esque tentacles as a part of his exoskeleton, and things are no longer blurry]
[oh, and Zero has an eye patch and a monocle now, instead of goggles]
Zero: It's been a while, hasn't it? ...Shadow Eater.
Nite: You know this fellow?
Zero: Of course I do. My, how you have grown...
[one of Zero's tentacles grabs Raid's neck]
Zero: A lot of cerebral implants... have they altered your MEMORY, too?
[Zero lets go; the camera switches to third-person, showing that Shadow is strapped to a torture table thing, and is naked]
Zero: This is my chao. Shadow... I thought I'd never see you again...
Raid: You.. know me?
Zero: You don't remember? Your moves, your skills, your techniques... everything you've ever known, you've learned from me.
[Zero clears some space]

Don't you remember the many years back then? You were one of the greatest child soldiers the world has ever known... you fought in that stupid Dark Army of Shade's, but you were still a child soldier. Your expert gunfighting and sharpshooting earned you such nicknames as "The Green Devil" and "Shadow Eater." I was your owner. I raised you since you were in a little, green egg. However, when the wars ended, you.. you disappeared. For one thing, you appeared in episodes less and less, and.. it was almost as if you were changing completely. I should have known they would recruit you.

[the camera switches back to first-person view of Raid]
Nite: It's an interesting coincidence.
Zero: If he's a lackey for the Patriots, I doubt he knows anything of interest.
Nite: What shall we do with him, then?
Zero: We'll do what you suggested.
Nite: And Splintered Cell?
Zero: Ignore them.
[Levity's arm twitches]
Zero: Finally happening?
Nite: It was bound to happen sooner or later... could it mean that he's here, too?
Zero: We'll raise security. How are the reports?
Nite: All is going well.
Zero: Excellent.. soon, we'll show the world the true power of Libfairy...
[Levity takes a look at Zero's eyepatch]
Nite: You know, you're a splitting image of the bossman, himself.
Zero: Is that so? *laughs* In that case, I guess I should thank this kid for that.
[Zero leaves the room]
Nite: Hmm.. this situation is very nostalgic.
Raid: Ugh... where am I?
Nite: Why, you're inside Libfairy Gear, of course.
[Levity holds up the disc Raid used to have]
Nite: I'll just take this, seeing as how you won't need it anymore.
[the female Shade walks in, in military clothes]
Nite: Hmph. A foul wind is blowing. We will meet again, Shadow.
[Levity leaves the room]
SShade: Stay where you are. We're being watched on a camera.
Raid: What are you up to?
SShade: I'm switching over to nanocommunications. Y'know.. Codec.
Raid: Mister X? ..Ninja?
SShade: Yes, that was me.
Raid: Why are you also a Russian commander?
SShade: That was just a smokescreen.
Raid: A smokescreen? For what?
SShade: I was sent to provide you support.
Raid: Support? Who sent you? The Doctor?
SShade: The Patriots.
Raid: Wha?
SShade: Well, I have no choice. They have my kid brother... and will kill him if I don't help you.
Raid: Your kid brother?
SShade: Yes. (The one she once called "Shade Junior," but.. uh... it's a different one.)
Raid: That's horrible...
SShade: Indeed, it is. Once a month, they will send me a photograph of him, to show me how he's doing...
Raid: Ugh, that's evil. I don't think anybody can blame you for what you did.
SShade: That's your opinion.
Raid: What about Shade? ...Solid Shade, I mean.
SShade: I joined forces with him around the time you were rescuing Cheese.
Raid: Why?
SShade: Well, if Zero gets away with Libfairy, your mission will be a failure. The Patriots will say I failed, too, and...
Raid: Oh... but... why would the Patriots want to help me? Are they hoping I'll take Zero out?
SShade: No. You're just like me... we're just pawns.
Raid: Pawns for what purpose?
SShade: The S3 plan.
Raid: The what?
SShade: You'll figure it out sooner or later... but I wonder if you can handle the truth? Anyway, Zero has to be stopped.
Raid: What about the virus?
SShade: No effect so far. I think the Patriots tampered with it.
Raid: So, uh... can you release me?
SShade: I'll let you go once I leave the room. Shade has your stuff. He's out in one of the hangars.
Raid: Does Shade plan to destroy Libfairy Gear?
SShade: No. Even for Shade, it would be impossible. He just plans to take care of Zero and his men.
Raid: And you?
SShade: I will stay concealed... I don't want anyone to find out about me.
[she leaves the room]
Cream: Shadow, are you alright?
Raid: I guess. I'm not dead; that counts for something.
Cream: Shadow, is it true? What Zero said?
Raid: ...yes.
Cream: That's horrible... baby chao going off to war?
Raid: It happens a lot more than you think. If we survived the day's fight, we'd get praise, food, and a bed.
Cream: Oh, my...
Raid: Of course, this was actually before Shade was in command. Zero didn't mention the days I spent in the Chao World...
Cream: On that savage planet?
Raid: Yes... we were shapen into the perfect war machines. I wasn't like Shade. I didn't question why we fought.
Cream: Why not?
Raid: If we questioned, we were shot.
Cream: Eep.
Raid: When the civil war ended... the one on Chao World... most of us were sent to villages to live there.
Cream: But you weren't, were you?
Raid: No. I was an exceptional soldier, so they sent me to the Gardens...
Cream: Well..... um...
Raid: Now I know why the Patriots wanted ME to kill Zero. I'm the perfect war machine... only I can do this.
Cream: Shadow, please don't talk like that...
Raid: But, it's true.
Cream: I haven't even told you about...... never mind. Say no more. Please.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

I'm finally on a roll! :D

[cut to Shadow, the green Dark chao, sitting in a red chair]
Shadow: Hey, there. The name's Shadow, but I go by my codename, "Raid."
[clips of the previous episode are shown]
Raid: So, two years ago, the famous Solid Shade died in a big tanker incident. Oil was spilled all over the Hudson River.
[clips of that]
Raid: What's more, the deadly WMD, Metal Gear Eeksuu, was stolen that day. It was a truly dark day...
[clips of that, too]
Raid: So, the government made this oil clean-up facility and stuff. But, it was recently hijacked!
[camera pan of the Big Shell, the oil clean-up facility in the middle of the river]
Raid: The terrorists who hijacked it, "Splintered Cell," are threatening to blow it up, spilling oil across the river again!
[random clips]
Raid: I gotta go in there and stop them. Oh, and the US president is being held hostage, too.
[a picture of the president is shown]
Raid: What's happened so far: I've seen two of the terrorists-- a really lucky girl, and a weird vampire guy.
[clips of Honey and the weird vampire chao are shown]
Raid: Then, I met Lieutenant Snake Pliskin, a military guy who seems oddly familiar...
[a picture of a gray Dark chao holding a pistol in a Navy uniform is shown]
Raid: Together, we found this bomb disposal guy who told us how to disarm these bombs scattered across the facility.
[a picture of Shawn the Dark, wearing a cop outfit, and holding a cane, is shown]
Raid: One more thing... I heard from some guy, probably a terrorist...
[cut to the Big Shell, Strut C, the bathroom]
Raid:'re gonna end DCA?

Season 7 (AKA Season 6, part two)
Episode Fifty-six
The Game-Maker Must Be Crazy! part three:
"The Insane Documentations of Metal Gear Shade 2"
[this eppy is a certified REMASTERED episode. Basically, bigger plots, bigger plot TWISTS, more characters, and just plain BETTER SCRIPTS!]

[Raid exits the bathroom after freezing the bomb]
Raid: Pliskin, I've just defused the first bomb.
Pliskin: Good job, kid. I'm working on my second right now.
Raid: But, listen... when I was in there, I--
Pliskin: *BOOM* O SNAP, sorry, Raid; I gotta go fight some bad guys.
Raid: But--
Raid: ...this isn't good.
Chapter 1: Botanicus Bombio Defusium
[Raid goes around the facility, defusing bombs in each of the struts, but at one point...]
?: Be careful... there are Claymore mines around there.
Raid: What? Who are you?
?: Just call me..... Deepthroat.
Raid: "Deepthroat?" You mean from CPAK?
?: Mister X, then.
Raid: "Mister X?" Why the heck would it matter if I called you "Deepthroat?"
X: Never mind that. Let's just say that I'm one of your fans.
[then, as Raid is investigating the many struts, he stumbles upon the female Shade talking on a radio]
[he hides as she talks]
Radio: I've taken care of that bothersome fly... any news with you?
SShade: I guess. I just saw someone dressed as a cyborg ninja, complete with the sword.
Radio: What? Are you sure it was not just a Libfairy unit?
SShade: What sort of fool are you to assume that I do not know the difference? I know what I saw.
Radio: Alright. We'll intensify patrol.
SShade: Oh, and.. there's a man sneaking around in a cardboard box.
Radio: ...a... cardboard box?
SShade: You don't believe me, do you? He's on the Shell 2 bridge.
Radio: No, I believe you. I've seen someone use that tactic before. Traps will be planted on the bridge.
SShade: That's all. Over and out.
[she stops using the radio, and Raid sneaks up on her]
Raid: (pointing the gun at her) Freeze! You're a part of Splintered Cell, aren't you?
SShade: Of course not! What a thing to say.
Raid: Drop your gun!
SShade: I'm not even HOLDING a gun.
Raid: ..oh. Well... um... still, stand down!
SShade: Not a chance.
[she jumps out into the water; Raid looks, and she's not in the water]
Raid: ...weird.
Raid: Pliskin, this is Raid. I just encountered some woman...
Pliskin: That was the female Shade, then.
Raid: Are you sure?
Pliskin: Unlike you, I have been briefed.
Raid: Is she Splintered Cell?
Pliskin: No, she's the commander of the random enemy troops you'll see around here.
Raid: Oh, okay. Just asking.
[he continues looking around, defusing bombs, until...]
Raid: This is Raid. I've just defused another bomb. This one was hidden in a pile of adult magazines.
Shawn: That... that can't be right...
Raid: What do you mean?
Shawn: I know Fatcham. If he were serious about this, he'd have planted the bombs in entirely different locations, so when they explode, the whole facility would go down...
Raid: So, what? Are they dummy mines?
Shawn: I don't know. I asked Pliskin to investigate something related to this for me, though, so...
Pliskin: Shawn. I checked the bottom of Strut H for you.
Raid: Three-way Codec Conversations FTW!
Shawn: What did you find?
Pliskin: Tons and tons of C4 strapped to the bottom.
Shawn: Called it! I knew it... those were the REAL threat.
Pliskin: And there's more, too.
Shawn: What?
Pliskin: These are Sensor-Proof. New model, I guess. They don't have any smell, so the sensors can't detect them.
Shawn: UGH, I should have KNOWN not to underestimate Fatcham like that...
Pliskin: Imma gunna try the spray from a distance...
Shawn: NO, hold on a bit. Let me think about this... you still have one bomb left, right, Pliskin?
Pliskin: Right.
Shawn: Find it and defuse it-- I'll take care of the big bomb. You, too, Raid.
Raid: Got it.
Chapter 2: Botanicus Deepathus Crapium
[Raid goes and defuses his last bomb]
Raid: This is Raid. I've defused the last bomb at this end of the facility.
Shawn: Good. I've found the big bomb... it's interesting. The bomb hasn't been activated yet, but the sensors are live...
Raid: What does it mean?
Shawn: ......
Pliskin: This is Pliskin. I've found my last bomb, and am about to defuse it.
Shawn: ..of course! PLISKIN! STOP!
[too late-- a hissing sound is heard as the spray freezes the last bomb]
[...beep, beep, beep, beep, beep]
Shawn: I KNEW IT! Fatcham wired it so the big bombs don't activate until all the little ones are down!
Pliskin: Aw, crap...
Shawn: The other big bomb is bound to be activ--
Raid: OTHER big bomb?
Shawn: Yes, one under Shell 1. Your end of the facility. Raid, can you go and defuse it? Hurry!
Raid: How much time is left?
Shawn: According to my calculations, there should be... around 300 seconds left. It should be under Strut A.
Pliskin: Raid, go! Go!
Raid: Okay!
[Raid dashes to Strut A, and looks thoroughly around for any bombs]
Raid: Where IS it?
Shawn: Raid...... I fell for it.
Raid: What? Fell for what?
Shawn: Fatcham has my number. Proximity trigger. Microwave.
Raid: You don't mean...
Shawn: It's not a trick I taught him. I'll be gone in 30 seconds. Pliskin, get away from Strut H as fast as you can.
Pliskin: *sigh* Okay. Nice working with you, Shawn.
Shawn: You, too, Pliskin. Raid, keep a good distance from your bomb. Use the spray from afar, and it should defuse.
Raid: But... but...
Shawn: It's too late for me! Do your mission, Raid... be a good soldier.
Pliskin: .......
Raid: ......
[Raid eventually finds the bomb and defuses it]
Raid: Doctor, I've defused the bomb. It was a great loss for everyone...
Egg: Indeed, it was.
Raid: Damage report, please?
Egg: The water contamination plant in Shell 2 was quite... jacked up, and the core of Shell 2 is flooding. But, that's it.
Raid: Is the Big Shell still stable?
Egg: Yes.
Raid: What's my next objective?
Egg: Rescue the president. Start by returning to the top of Sturt A.
[as Raid goes upwards, he encounters Honey, standing in front of the elevator to the top]
Honey: I see you've been able to defuse that bomb.
[Honey aims her giant SHOOP DA WHOOP cannon at Raid]
Raid: Oh, crap.
Honey: You're not who I thought you were.
[Honey stands down]
Honey: I'm Honey. They call me "Lady Luck," because I never get hurt. Ever.
["Honey (Honey)" appears on-screen]
Honey: Perhaps YOU could kill me, and bring me happiness?
[Honey fires at Raid; he dodges and hides]
Raid: Uh, Doctor, this isn't a very good time!
Egg: Raid, Fatcham just contacted us.
Chapter 3: Botanicus Fatcham
Raid: WHAT? Fatcham contacted US?!
Egg: He asked specifically for YOU, Raid. He's on the roof of Strut E. He's giving you 400 seconds, or else...
Raid: Or else what?
Egg: ...he didn't specify. HURRY!
[Raid waits, but Honey doesn't leave; she fires again; Raid dodges]
[eventually, the vampire guy enters]
?: I'll take over, my Queen.
Honey: Echo.
Raid: ...NOW!
[Raid jumps out from his hiding place, and shoots at Honey]
[the bullet swings around her and strikes Echo right in the face; he dies]
Honey: No.. *sniffle* that bullet was meant for ME...... why must you keep torturing me so?
[Honey breaks into a sob; Raid slowly and awkwardly sneaks around her and rides the elevator up]
Honey: WHY?!
Echo: It is not time for me to die, my Queen...
[cut to Strut E; Raid reaches the roof]
[there is a lone, small bomb in the open; Raid defuses it]
?: Ah, so YOU'RE the one who keeps defusing my bombs. You're here right on time. I like a punctual man.
[Raid spins around and draws his gun; there is a chao wearing a really fat suit]
["Fatcham (Cham)" appears on-screen]
Fatcham: Whaddya say we drink? To Shawn?
[Fatcham pulls out a glass of wine, and drinks it]
Raid: If you blow up Big Shell, you'll NEVER get your ransom!
Fatcham: Ransom? What the Mack Daddy are you talkin' about?
Raid: The random for thirty million billion pesos!
[Fatcham burts out with laughter]
Fatcham: So THAT'S what they're doin'... me, personally, I couldn't give less of a crap about money.
Raid: Well... why are YOU in this, then?
Fatcham: I simply want to go down as the greatest bomber in history!
[Fatcham begins skating around on random rollerskates, planting bombs wherever he sees fit]
[Raid defuses them one by one, and manages to shoot Fatcham in the chest; he falls over]
Fatcham: Oof... you think you have won... you think all is well...
Raid: What do you mean?
Fatcham: Heh, what I mean by that is, I'll see you in Hell!
[Fatcham pulls out a detonator, and presses the button]
Raid: What was that for?
Fatcham: The biggest bomb in the whole shell... once that goes off, it's curtains for you, and everybody here!
Raid: Where did you plant it?!
Fatcham: Heh heh... *coughs up blood* ha ha ha ha ha...
[Fatcham dies]
Raid: Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh CRAAAP...
[Raid looks around, and eventually finds it underneath Fatcham's corpse; he defuses it]
Raid: (panting) This is Raid... I have defeated Fatcham, and defused all the bombs.
Egg: Excellent work, Raid. Now, go look for the president.
Raid: I don't know where he is, though!
Egg: You haven't checked the central Shell 1 core. Check that.
Raid: Hang on, I have another call. Should I take it?
Egg: Yes. I'll go offline. We want to keep our presence unknown.
Pliskin: How ya doin', kid?
Raid: Pretty good, I guess. I defused all the bombs, and took care of Fatcham. How are you?
Pliskin: Good job. I think I was out cold for a while... but, I'm fine.
Raid: What about the toxins? Did the Shell 2 bomb do anything to them?
Pliskin: Toxins?
Raid: Yeah, the toxins kept in Shell 2 that would completely defile the ocean.
Pliskin: Huh. I haven't heard anything about that. Anyway, listen, once you find the president, I have a friend with a chopper.
Raid: Good! First I have to find the president, though...
Pliskin: Well... you look for him. I have my own work to do.
Chapter 4: Botanicus Mister Ames
[as Raid is leaving the roof, he sees a freaky cyborg ninja]
Raid: !!! Dubbyoo tee eff? Who are you?
Ninja: I'm like you.. I have no name.
Raid: Mister X?
X: Hmm... if you'd like.
Raid: Are you an enemy?
X: No. I'm just a messenger from the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo. ..let's talk by Codec. It's safer that way.
Raid: Who do you work for?
X: That is not important to you right now. I have bigger information-- the location of the president.
Raid: Really?
X: Well... no. I have the location of a person who knows the location of the president.
Raid: Who?
X: A Secret Service Agent named "Ames." He's being held in the B1 Conference Room in the Shell 1 Core.
Raid: What does he look like?
X: We are not even sure if he is a "he."
Raid: How am I supposed to find him or her, then?
X: All we know is this-- Ames wears a pacemaker. Y'know, one of those gadgets that... does something or other.
Raid: Uh-huh. So, what, I'm supposed to go up to every hostage and say, "Hey, lady, I wanna listen to your breasts?"
X: No. Here, I have a directonal microphone for you, so you can listen to stuff from afar.
[X gives Raid the mic]
X: And here's a uniform the terrorists use, so you can get in.
[X gives Raid a terrorist uniform]
X: You'd better hurry. They have the nuke on their sid--
Raid: They have A NUKE?!
X: You didn't find their continuous presence here questionable? President or no, this is just an island, and it's not a very practical one, at that.
Raid: Even with a nuke, they still need a code to launch it, right? I mean--
X: They already have that. Remember that briefcase the Secret Service has? With the launch codes?
Raid: Argh... but, why bring a nuke here? To an oil clean-up facility of all places?
X: They didn't have to bring any nukes here. There was already one. The whole "clean-up facility" thing is just a facade.
Raid: A facade?
X: Yes... just a cover-up for Metal Gear, which is housed here.
Raid: METAL GEAR!?!?
X: Indeed. Ask Ames the rest. Here, *gives Raid a cell phone* you might need this.
Raid: A cell phone? Why do I need--
[X is gone]
Raid: ..ah, never mind.
Raid: Doctor...
Egg: I swear, this is the first I've heard of the Metal Gear rumor.
Raid: Really?
Egg: I promise you, Raid, I've been completely open with you. I'll have the rumor looked into. For now, just save Ames.
Raid: So, you believe the ninja?
Egg: It's our only lead for now. You have your mission, so go do it.
[Raid dons the disguise and enters the Conference Room; he uses the mic to find Ames]
Raid: Are you Ames?
Ames: How do you know me?
Raid: This weird ninja told me about you.
Ames: I see.
Raid: Are you Secret Service?
Ames: No, I was sent by the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo, just like you.
Raid: ..what?
Ames: Doesn't matter. We don't have much time. I assume you're here for the president's location.
Raid: Where is he?
Ames: Floor 1 of the Shell 2 Core.
Raid: Shell 2 core, floor 1, got it. Do you think they'll kill him?
Ames: They can't, otherwise the nuke won't launch. It's nanomachines and stuff, you understand.
Raid: So.... so Metal Gear's truly here?
Ames: Yes, it is.
Raid: But, why an offshore clean-up facility?
Ames: They really haven't told you anything, have they? It was all planned-- the tanker, the spill, the clean-up, EVERYTHING!
Raid: Really?
Ames: Yes. The Big Shell was created specifically for the housing of Metal Gear. ..wait! There he is!
Raid: Who?
Ames: Solid Shade...
[Raid pulls out his directional mic and listens to a faraway conversation]
Chapter 5: Botanicus Solid Shade
[there is a cloaked man-- Levity Nite, and a man in a large, freaky, techno-y suit ("Solid Shade")]
Nite: Boss, Fatcham is dead.
Shade?: It doesn't matter. He was crazy, anyway.
Nite: I'll have his background checked, just in case.
Shade?: You think he was working for them?
Nite: It doesn't matter-- not with that intruder at large, anyway.
Shade?: The man in the sneaking suit...
Nite: You know more about those suits than I do.
Shade?: Hm. Any news with..... it?
Nite: Yes. The launch sequence preparations are going smoothly. In an hour, we'll need the president's confirmation, but that's it for him. After that, we'll just need the girl to launch it.
Shade?: Only a few steps away from Inner-Outer Heaven...
[Shade? clears his throat, and begins walking away]
Shade?: I leave this place in your hands, Levity. I'll take care of the intruder.
Nite: Right, then.
[they leave; Raid puts the mic away]
Raid: Was that really Solid Shade?
Ames: So he claims. Anyway, what did they say?
Raid: They said the preparations are complete. They just need the president's input. ..I guess he's cooperating with them?
Ames: Yes... he's probably tired of being a puppet. But, he is wrong to betray us like that.
Raid: A puppet?
Ames: Doesn't matter. They WILL launch the nuke. You know what you have to do by then.
Raid: Fire it? But it's nowhere near the ransom deadline!
Ames: Ransom?
Raid: For thirty million billion pesos!
Ames: What the hell are you talking about?! The nuclear launch isn't a THREAT-- it's been our GOAL all along!
Raid: To slaughter thousands of innocent people?!
Ames: No! A high-altitude detonation. You've heard of the Compton Effect?
Raid: Naturally. But, if they do that near a global power, it could start a global depression!
Ames: That's not their aim, though. They want to "liberate" Manhattan-- put it offline, and turn it into a Republic.
Raid: So THAT'S why they're called "Sons of Liberty..."
Ames: "LibFAIRY." And that's NOT why they're called that.
Raid: ..then, why are they--
Ames: Here comes Levity Nite! Quiet!
[Levity Nite comes by]
Nite: Ames. I know why you're here.
Ames: What are you talking about?
Nite: They knew the president was going to betray them, so they sent you to keep tabs on him...
Ames: Wh..what--
[Levity Nite points a gun at Ames' head]
Nite: Sorry, Colonel, but you've failed the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo.
[Ames jumps up, and then.. well, he suddenly dies]
Nite: What the..?
[Levity looks at Raid]
Nite: You! What squadron are you?
[other soldiers come]
Nite: Do you recognize him?
Soldier: No, sir. He's not one of mine.
[Levity rips Raid's mask off]
Nite: You.... we meet at last.
[the ninja suddenly appears, and glares at Levity]
Nite: Wait, but... you're dead! You died!
[Raid runs off]
Egg: I saw the whole thing... ('cause.. the codec is cool like that, or... something)
Raid: Doctor, they were after the nuclear launch from the start, NOT the ransom...
Egg: Jeez--so it was a cover-up all along...
Raid: Doctor, what aren't you telling me?!
Egg: Nothing! Really, Raid, it's not like I'm being told everything, either!
[dramatic silence]
Egg: ...anyway, your priority right now is with the president. You need to find him and rescue him.
Raid: But, he's been cooperating with--
Egg: Yes, yes, according to Ames. But, they're also going to kill him. There's something more to this, and only he can tell you.
Raid: *sigh* Okay. I'll go rescue him.
Egg: Good. You can get to the Shell 2 Core via the connecting bridge. Go!
Chapter 6: Botanicus Pliskus
[Raid makes it to the connecting bridge]
Pliskin: Raid, you there?
Raid: Yeah, I read ya loud n' clear. Hey, listen... we have a lead on the president's location.
Pliskin: Uh-huh?
Raid: He's on the ground floor in the Shell 2 core.
Pliskin: Ah, well, I can't get there. I'm in Strut H, and that explosion blocked the path there.
Raid: Okay, fine, I'll do it, myself. I'm on the connecting bridge.
Pliskin: Careful, then. There's some Semtex planted across that bridge.
[Raid takes a look with his binoculars, and sees some little black devices scattered across the bridge]
Raid: I see 'em...
Pliskin: You might want a sniper rifle, so you can take out the control units. I hear there's one back in Strut--
Raid: I already got it. *BANG BANG* Done.
[Raid starts walking across the bridge]
Pliskin: Um... good. By the way, I found us a ride.
Raid: Great, let's hear it!
Pliskin: One of the enemy's Kasatkas. Was there a Harrier on Strut E?
Raid: No.
Pliskin: Good, I'll land this thing there.
Raid: Okay, well, the hostages are in B1 of the Shell 1 core. There are about thirty of 'em.
Pliskin: Hm. The Kasatka can only hold about thirteen. Guess we'll have to make two trips, huh, Otakit?
?: Looks like it.
Pliskin: Raid, I wanna introduce you to my friend, Otakit. You may know him as Mister Prower.
Tails: Hey, Raid.
Raid: Uh... nice to meet you. Pliskin, I'll talk to you later.
Raid: Doctor, I need some answers. Exactly who is Pliskin, and his partner?
Egg: I know what you're thinking, Raid...
Raid: It keeps coming back to CPAK! And now this Otakit...
Cream: AKA Miles Prower, Kindergarten teacher. He and Shade both became wanted criminals after acts of terrorism.
Raid: But they're not terrorists, though!
Egg: Why are you defending him, Raid?
Raid: Because, after being on this mission for a bit, I've realized that it takes a lot more than sneaking to get you around.
Cream: Are you okay, Shadow?
Raid: I'm not sure what the word is, but... I just know it's something special. And Shade has it.
Egg: Even that being so, Shade is DEAD. They found his body!
Raid: But that also means the leader of the terrorists can't be him, either.
[a chopper flies above Raid; Pliskin stands inside, looking at Raid; the chopper flies to Strut E]
[Raid turns and sees a character wearing a long, black cape standing by the wall]
?: Nice to see you... a messenger from the Patriots.
Raid: Who are you?
?: Where do I know you from?
Raid: You're the boss around here, aren't you?
?: No, not just around here. I'm the boss to surpass even THE boss, himself.
[the figure stands out in the open, and looks at Raid]
?: I'm Solid Shade.
[the chopper flies by again]
Pliskin: NO! That is NOT Solid Shade!
?: What a pleasant surprise-- brudda.
Pliskin: Save it. You're no brother of mine.
?: Don't say you've forgotten me, Shade.
[Raid turns and looks at Pliskin, the gray Dark chao wearing the Navy uniform, who has a shocked expression on his face]
Raid: ..Shade?
Pliskin: Raid, take cover!
[Pliskin fires a rocket at the character, who dodges it, and a HUUUUGE explosion forms]
[the explosion melts the character's cape, revealing a full-body exoskeleton]
[also, the camera shows that the character's face is not visible, due to a scarf, hat, and goggles covering it]
["Solidus Shade (...)" appears on-screen]
Pliskin: Stop impersonating him!
Solidus: Brother, I'm a whole different game than Lam Mink.
[Solidus leaps into the ocean, and does not come back up]
[Raid peeks over the edge of the bridge, into the water]
[a giant, bipedal robot rises out of the water]
[the camera zooms in on Pliskin's gray face]
Pliskin: Metal Gear...