Monday, September 29, 2008

A Gears n' Roses short: "Meet the Delta Squad."

Meet the Delta Squad
A short based on DCA, Gears of War, and Team Fortress 2.
I: "Meet the Sniper"
[a clip plays of a robot walking in the streets, on patrol]
[the robot is humming cheefully]
[suddenly.... BANG! The robot is shot in the head]
[the camera turns to show an alley; a green Dark chao in an army suit is aiming a sniper rifle]
[the camera cuts to the green Dark chao, "Shadow," sitting in a chair in the alley]
Shadow: Yeah, man, being in Delta Squad is great, man. The others are so nice!
[a clip plays of a Dark chao tripping Shadow]
Shadow: Huh? Why are we here, on Earth, in the future? Gee, it's been a while.... at least fourteen hours. I can't remember.
[Shadow scratches his head, and asks for another question]
Shadow:, I'm not the boss of our group. Shade is. ...the future Shade. The guy from this time. He's cool, but... he focuses too much on the point.
?: "Too much on the point," Private?
Shadow: ...that's him, isn't it?
[the camera nods]
[the camera cuts to later in the interview]
Shadow: Sniping? Nah, man, I suck at sniping. That robot I shot was, like, with the fifitieth bullet I fired. Today.
[Shadow sighs deeply]
Shadow: Really, I'm only the sniper of our group because the other three can't snipe, either. If one of those robot guys were to be good at sniping, I'd be screwed! But, like that'd ever happen, huh?
[the camera fades to black]
II: "Meet the Leader"
[fade-in at a skirmish between Delta Squad and a squad of robots]
[the chao run in weird army directions while an old, gray Dark chao gives them orders]
[cut to after the battle; the chao, "Shade (Future)," is sitting in a chair in the battlefield; the others are messing around in the background]
ShadeF: Delta Squad? Is that what they're calling it now? For me, it's called, "life."
[ShadeF reaches off-screen, and pulls out a cowboy hat; he puts it on]
ShadeF: Unlike the others, I'm used to the robots. They come by my home in the Dark Garden every now and then, screwing things up. O' course, old Darkmondayz scares 'em off every time.
[ShadeF reaches off-screen, and pulls out a shotgun]
ShadeF: This.... is Darkmondayz. My weapon of choice. I was handed this by my future self. Back when I was young. Thirty years younger.
[the cameraman asks him something]
ShadeF: .....will I give the new Shade this shotgun? Hell, no! *laugh* The kid's pretty sharp. Twenty-two, and he can already operate a banshee, a Banshee, an SUV, a hybrid, or your mother. *chuckle* I was pretty awesome back then.
[another question]
ShadeF: Yeah.... I'm fifty-two. What's it to ya? ...yes, I'm the boss of the group. I like being the leader.
[one more question]
ShadeF: WHAT? I am not getting rusty! In fact, I could probably kill Metal Sonic right now! Yeah! After all, not even the robot's dumb enough to bring a knife to a gunfight.
[fade to black]
III: "Meet the Scout"
[fade-in inside a building; Delta Squad is kicking back and relaxing; a regular Dark chao is constantly pressing down the switch on a toaster]
[cut to the Dark chao, "Dark," in a chair in the building]
Dark: So, yeah, Delta Squad's pretty fun. Getting to shoot robots alongside Shade.... it rocks.
[a question is asked]
Dark: No, not the leader. The other Shade. The one from..... y'know, the... what's the word? ...the past. Yeah.
[another question]
Dark: We got to the future because Shade wanted to play hooky from school again. He told me to get everyone to the school's basement, and to get them into this time machine.
[the cameraman says something]
Dark: Yep, they exist. What, you never wondered why kids who go into a school basement never come out again?
[another thing]
Dark: .....good point. I mean, I'm, like, twenty-three, and I'm still in Pre-School. Then again, those are, like, dog years, or something. ....wait, no, CHAO years. In human years, we're about... a few hours old. Not literally. We've been through too much for that to be true.
[a clip of Dark and Shade going to McDonald's plays]
Dark: As for my job... I'm more of a scat person. .....I mean, scout. I prefer to scout the streets ahead, and kill stuff. I'm also a toaster doctor. Wanna see my degree?
[the camera shakes (as in, "no")]
Dark: Of course, there are some times too scary for me to scout. Like during the night.... seriously, if you hang around this place when nightfall comes, you'd better bring your will with you. Also, in corridors where it looks like a boss is gonna come out and jump at you.
[the cameraman say one last thing]
Dark: I suppose the chances of a giant, killer, blind, bloodthirsty thing breaking through a wall, and bashing my skull open are pretty slim.
[fade out]
IV: "Meet the Cool Dude"
[fade-in when the Delta Squad is exploring a dark hallway; sweat dripping down their faces]
[or, rather, just a gray Dark chao and Dark]
[the gray Dark chao, "Shade," is in the middle of something, so the interview had to be done while they're exploring the hallway]
Shade: ...shh. If you have to ask me something, ask it quietly. Just trust me on this one.
[the cameraman asks something]
Shade: Yeah, Dark was right. We came through a time machine. I noticed the Dark Garden was on fire again, so I checked it out. Future me says Metal took over Earth, so that's where we went. Of course, as soon as we got there, the robots arrested me. Then, Dark saved me, and our newest adventure starts.
[another question]
Shade: Future me and Shadow? They're, uh.................
Dark: Unavailable.
Shade: Yeah. Unavailable.
Shade: We're just..... exploring this hallway. Not......... anything else.
Dark: Ask another question.
Shade: I suppose being in Delta Squad is all right. I mean, so far. Shooting robots... running from robots.... bombing robots.... stuff like that. But, right now.....
Dark: It sucks.
Shade: Quite.
[yet another]
Shade: *sigh* Dude, let me simply say I don't want to tell you what we're doing.
Dark: You can tell 'em a bit.
Shade: Fine. We're saving Alpha Squad's butts.
[another one]
Shade: "From what?" You ask a lot of questions, dude.
Shade: Well, I'm the guy who saves everyone. I also operate some heavy machinery, drive any vehicles except helicopters, and currently am the leader of the group.
[yep, another]
Shade: I said I'm the leader?
Dark: Whoops.
Shade: Yeah, whoops. Just..... stop asking me questions. I always end up saying too much.
[one more]
Shade: M--.....nope! Not saying anything! But, I will tell you we've already run into Metal Sonic. It was around..... two minutes ago.
Dark: With that info, and the information we assume you gathered from the previous production update, you have the material to deduce where we are in the video game.
Shade: Yeah, and Dark randomly talks smart. But, he's pretty much right.
[a rumble is heard; Shade and Dark stop moving, and look around frantically]
Dark: Do you see him?
Shade: No........ but, the rumble came from in this hallway. Wanna check it out?
Dark: NO.
Shade: Dark, what if he's tricking us, and is actually down that hallway?
Dark: ......let's explore this hallway, then.
Shade: Good Dark.
[Shade and Dark walk into the hallway, but the camera doesn't]
[you hear them walking, and hear a loud "CRASH!!!!!!!"]
Both: HOLY ****!!!!
Shade: (whispering) Dark. Stay. Still.
Dark: can you smell us? You're.... you're a robot!
Shade: Dark, I recommend you don't talk to him.
?: And why not? .......SHADE?
[Shade gulps; the cameraman puts the camera down and runs into the hall to help them]
[PUNCH! A disturbing "crack" sound is heard as the cameraman is seen flying out the hallway, and hits the wall, dead and covered with blood]
?: Hm? Ew. His skull is still in my fist. *toss*
[his skull flies out the hallway, hits the wall, bounces towards the camera, and stops right next to it]
[the screen fades to black except for the skull]
[a cog shape surrounds the skull]
DCA Halloween Special 2: Gears n' Roses, coming October 31, 2008. It'll scare the **** outta you.
?: Stupid cameraman messed up the shot. Can we cut this, and re-do the scene?
[complete fade to black]

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Also, check this **** out.

[cut to a camera pan of a random city of Earth]
Shade Voice-Over: Earth. The planet as cool and as blue as Sonic.
[zoom-in to show a traffic jam near a broken traffic light; people are yelling, getting out of their cars, and mad]
Shade VO: Earth is full of little irks. Things like traffic jams... drive-by shootings... gang wars. Small things.
[zoom-in even closer to show a little girl hugging her mother in fear of the people yelling]
Shade VO: They think these things are their biggest concerns.
[zoom-in even closer to show the little girl's scared expression]
Shade VO: Well, their priorities are a little messed up.
Unknown voice: (whispering) Are you afraid.....
[cut to Shade hiding behind a pillar in a courtyard; he is holding a gun with a chainsaw attatched to it]
Shade: ...of the dark?
[the screen goes black]
[the image of the Tails Doll's face, but with lots of scars, and one eye missing, flashes on-screen for a split second]
[cut to a camera pan of a different street of the same city; a street cafe is visible]
[the voice of an older, rougher Shade speaks]
ShadeFuture VO: It happened not too long ago.
[people are eating in the cafe]
ShadeF VO: They came from the darkness... we were defenseless. Not expecting it.
[a slight rumble is visible; the people are a little curious]
ShadeF VO: I'm not sure how, but they came........
[the camera focuses on a seemingly random piece of road]
ShadeF VO: ...from below.
[the road opens up, making a hole leading underground; robots crawl out of it]
ShadeF VO: They killed everyone.
[the robots are equipped with guns, and start shooting]
ShadeF VO: They did not think. They just fought.
[dozens more holes open, robots crawling out]
ShadeF VO: I still remember the last time he tried to kill us.
[a few pictures of the future chao gardens flash on-screen; Future Shade is shooting odd zombies with a shotgun, the chao listening to Mister Prower talking to Murderous Mechetal, and dead Dark chao lying in the Dark pool]
ShadeF VO: The Instabilities. Zombies filled with a deadly, currosive virus. They are among the few creatures able to move freely, yet slowly, through the fourth dimension.
[cut to the inside of an apartment; the lights are off; the camera is slowly moving through the rooms; quiet whimpering is heard]
ShadeF VO: He used them against us last time. This time.... robots. We don't know much about them, though.
[the camera turns a corner into a room where the little girl and her mother are in a corner, trembling, hiding]
Shade (present) VO: This stuff just doesn't have much logic to it, does it?
ShadeF VO: Logic? Chao don't use logic.
[shadows of hunched-over creatures, dripping with a substance (blood), are seen; weird grunts and noises are heard]
[the mother and child's faces are pale, filled with fear]
ShadeF VO: We use.......
[the screen fades to black]

ShadeF VO: Gears and roses. The gears of war keep turning... and the roses of gunfire fuel it.
["Coming October 31st, 2008" appears on-screen]
Shade VO: Guns, roses, gears, war. Halloween. Perfect timing.
[an image flashes on-screen for less than a split second-- you could just make out Shade and Dark sneaking away from a huge, red something]

DCAHPU 3! That's "Dee-kapoo."

Dark Chao Adventures Halloween Production Update number three.... or,

So, what have I done since I last talked about Gears n' Roses?
- I've finished a ton of chapters of Tale Two. I'm not even touching Tale One until after the HUGELY MASSIVE Tale Two is done.
- I've been scaring myself with some of the stuff I've made so far. And, trust me, I'm saving the scariest for last.
- I'm mixing the actual GoW story with my own, "DJay32-brand" style of writing. Or, in other words, trying to make it fit into DCA. And I'm doing pretty good!
- Now that Episode 50's up, I can tell you most of the FULL roster. Shade as Marcus Fenix. Dark as Dominic Santiago. Future Shade as Minh Young Kim. Shadow the chao as Anthony Carmine. Doctor Eggman as Victor Hoffman, and technically Anya Stroud. Phantom the Third-Party chao as Franklin the Stranded. Shawn, Shade's father, as Chap, the old guy who runs a gas station. Neo Metal Sonic (Sonic Heroes) as General RAAM. Dark-Hawk the Third-Party chao as the guy in Act 3 who falls through the floor and dies. Cham as Augustus Cole. Chao as Damon Baird. The Tails Doll as.... the Tails Doll. Quartz and Aqua as two random Alpha Squad soldiers who die a VERY gruesome death at the end of Act 1. Chaosky the Third-Party chao as a Stranded gatekeeper. Metal's robot armies as (most of) the Locust. And that's all you need to know right now.
- A bit more about the roster-- someone will be the Bezerker. Someone will be the Brumak. Someone will be the Corpser. Someone will be Myrrah. I've only decided on the Bezerker's identity, and I'm thinking up Myrrah.
- One last roster clue thing. An old foe will return. Not a Beta. Just an old enemy. An enemy that I put a TON of story behind, but not much closure. So.... this thing's your closure.
- I put some thought into it, and I've decided.... the "n' Roses" part of the title will have some impact. But, no, Rubber Goose won't start singing "November Rain." No. The radio station, Chao Chat, will start playing "Welcome to the Jungle," and later, "Sweet Child o' Mine."
- Like I said earlier, this will be more based off the PC version of Gears of War than the 360 version. For those who don't know, the PC version has five new chapters of Act 5. In one, you get to fight a Brumak. Can't wait for the chao to do that.
- Act 1 will start off funny, then eventually maybe give suspense. Act 2 will be VERY suspenseful, with maybe a bit of horror, and some purely random call-backs to the original Halloween Special. Act 3 so far, is TERRIFYING. Then again, what do I know about horror? I mean, I didn't think Cloverfield was scary. In fact, the only truly scary movie I've seen lately is Rose Red. That's four and a half hours of FRIGHT, man. Two discs of HORROR.
- Right now, DCAHall2 is 54.9 KB. And, I wouldn't say it's halfway done yet, although it could be. In comparison, the Season 6 3-part finale is about 98 KB. The TMEWT was 62 KB. Are you getting my point yet? It's big.
- If you haven't already played GoW, I really recommend it. It's a fun game. Not entirely scary, but it has its moments. The Bezerker fights can scare you crapless, though. They CAN. I'm trying to recreate those feelings of "O CRAP THE BEZERKER IS RIGHT THERE AROUND THIS CORNER AND SHE'S GONNA SMELL OR HEAR ME AND KILL ME! SHE'S COMING! SHE'S STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO ME! AIEE!!! HELP! gotta be quiet.... she can't tell where I am if I don't give off sound or smell.... gotta sneak away.... no, dude, don't shoot her.... oh, you jacka--BOOOOOM!!!! CRASH! SMACK! MURDALIZE!!!! Game over."
- Another thing that COULD scare you: The Kryll. Little bat-like things that INSTANTLY/SLOWLY kill you if you so much as step into a shadow. What are they in this? You're gonna have to wait to find out. A little info: I managed to make the way the Kryll kill you in THIS be a lot gorier than in the actual game. Why? I'm evil like that. And, they might have more to do with the story than they seem...
- Help..... help me, mommy....... the bad man tore my eye out.... the bad man tore my arm off..... the bad man gave me three tails.... the bad man gave me scars...... the bad man will die.
- I just hope that, when it's done, somebody decides to take the time to read the whole thing. 'Cause it'll be big. And, I don't want to have to have done all that for nothing.
- We will win this war. It's only a matter of time. THAT'S who Myrrah is. You were wondering, weren't you? You know, she's the mysterious female voice that seems to be associated with the Locust. She speaks during the opening cinematic, before the first Bezerker fight, and during the ending.
Well, that concludes today's trip to the unknown. Join us again, probably when I finish a few more acts.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Site Updates.

I have been slightly updating the site a tad bit recently.

....just letting you know.

Oh, and I've uploaded around five new profiles in "CPAK," or the Info section. On Mecha Knuckles' biography, he raps.

It's funny.

...well, I thought it was funny.

Sunday, September 21, 2008


Somebody new has arrived in the fan scene. A certain "solarchao" has finally given me what I've wanted all this time: FEEDBACK. Thank you. So, here's Episode 50.... "Surrosion."

Last time on DCA...
JOE: Good day. I'm JOE. Beta Avenger.
[clips of the previous episode are shown]
JOE: My real name... is Therjak. Not really.
[more clips]
JOE: I'm really a Dalek. Not really.
[moar clipz]
JOE: I am actually... Cham. That's right, CHAM. The last living first-party Neutral chao.
[*sigh* more clips]
JOE: I was killed around the start of this show by the lead characters, Shade and Chao.
JOE: Pure accident, of course. Still, I hated them. I was magically revived, and long story short, I now have to kill them.
[clips of the respective episodes]
JOE: Also, the MILKMAN, mysterious being extoradinaire, is Shade's father, Shawn. Whoo, shocker.
[dramatic shots of the previous showdown]
JOE: Last time I checked, it's just me versus Shade, Shawn, Shade's son, and a traitor of the Beta Avengers.
[3, 2, 1... Are you Ready to Go?]

Season 6: The Gray Journey

Episode 50: Shade's End part three: Surrosion

[the story resumes on the surface of the planet Norion from Metroid Prime 3]
[Cham is firing a rocket launcher rocket right at Shade; Shawn, Shade Junior, and Echo are unconscious]
Chapter 1: Super Shade
Cham: Goodbye.
[the rocket blows Shade up]
Cham: *evil laughter* Finally!
[all that's left are Shade's feet, which land on the ground like cardboard]
[Shade walks in]
Shade: Heh.
Cham: What the... bu-hu-du-ku-WHAAAAT!?
Shade: Decoys, Cham! DECOYS!
Cham: But... how did you....? I mean...? The cake's in the fridge...?
Shade: It's like in the cartoons, Cham. A cardboard version of me. NOW who's the evil one?!
Cham: *reloads* I see.
[Shade runs up and smacks Cham in the face]
Cham: AH! Ow... *inhale* ya didn't have to do that...
Shade: Yeah, I did. You were gonna KILL me!
Cham: Yeah, well... all you had to do was ask.
Shade: Right.
[they get into a slap fight]
[Shade runs away]
[he just keeps on running]
[he suddenly remembers the others]
Shade: Aw, crap.
[he notices Cham trying to kill them]
Shade: NO! *dashes after them*
Cham: Oh, you're back? I thought you were just gonna run away for mommy, like your father did.
Shade:, I was runnin' away from YO MOMMY, dude!
Cham: Oh, you're gonna pay for that!
[Shade knocks Cham out somehow, and somehow drags ALL of the others away]
[eventually, he makes it to the escape pods, but a Dalek (Dahh-lek) is there (a robot with an eyestalk, wheels, a gun, and a plunger)]
Shade: Um... cor-rect.
Shade: Uh... prisoner transfer, from prison block 1128. You think you could get 'em a room by the pool?
[Shade shoots the Dalek, and it blows up]
[Shade then enters the escape pod, and flies away somehow into space]
[however, a second escape pod is close behind]
Shade: *sigh* What am I supposed to do with an unconscious father, son, and cool-looking enemy?
[Echo wakes up]
Echo: What... what? *hops up* Where's Cham?! Lemme at him! RAWR!
Shade: Relax, Echo. I managed to escape with you three before he did any real damage.
Echo: Oh. Aw... I wanted to kick his butt summin' good, too.
[Echo sits down]
Echo: So, where are we going?
Shade: I don't know...
Echo: Well, where d'ya WANNA go?
[Shade touches the window longingly]
Shade: Home...
Echo: Well then, let's GO home!
Shade: It's not that easy, Echo. You burned it down, remember?
Echo: I did? ....oh, THAT place. Well, didn't the flames die down, and make it habitable again?
Shade: I suppose, but...
Echo: So, let's go! Now, how do you pilot this thing?
Shade: Look, Echo... Cham will find us. He'll probably kill us, too.
Echo: Relax, bud. We'll find something, trust me.
Shade: ...okay.
[so, they fly to the Chao Lobby (which is in space, in case you haven't realized)]
Chapter 2: Chao Ruins
[by the time they get there, Junior and Shawn have woken up]
[oh, and Shade and Echo explained the situation]
SJR: So, are we going to the Hero Garden, then?
Shade: Probably. I mean, we could-- ...wait a minute.
[Shade notices a red glow coming from down the stairs]
[he runs down, and notices the Dark Garden in flames. ...again]
Echo: I didn't do it, I swear!
Shade: Hold on. This fire... the Dark Garden... it looks familiar.
Shawn: Familiar? How?
SJR: You sure you don't mean from when the Beaten Graves bombed it?
Shade: No... further back than that. It looks like...
?: The future.
[everyone turns around, and sees ANOTHER Shade]
ShadeFuture: It looks like it did when you took the time machine to the future, and again on Halloween.
Shade: Yeah. What's going on? Are you telling me... that Metal Sonic was LYING about his evil plan way back?
ShadeF: I'm afraid so. He lied... to protect you.
SJR: Wait, wait, WAIT. I read that episode, and... this screws up the ENTIRE timeline, I think!
Shawn: Which is exactly what Cham wants.
Shade: Man, I wish you two weren't so full of mystery! That's the problem; we don't know what's going on anymore!
Shawn: I've already told you, Shade. Cham wants these plot holes... so he can rewrite the story.
Echo: You never told us THAT.
Shawn: I didn't? Oh. Well, let me clear some space.

Cham, too, was forgotten. Obviously. So, he may not be a beta, but he has been disguised as-- Wait a minute. Something's not right here. If Cham was dead when those Betas happened.... I mean, we had all four people. Echo couldn't have disguised himself as JOE, AND been himself. Cham isn't telling us something.

ShadeF: And neither am I.
Shawn: What?
ShadeF: Allow me to join in the "clearing of space."

Why am I here right now? Obviously, you're in the future. But, if you were truly in the future, I wouldn't be here. I'd be in MY future. You know what I mean. So, quite obviously, Cham has sent you in the future somehow.

ShadeF: And that thing about Metal Sonic lying? ..I was just messing with you.
Shade: Uh... okay. So, we're in the future, and there really ARE two JOEs.
Shawn: And I get the feeling Cham knows about this.
Shade: But, how far into the future ARE we? That's something I've been wanting to know for a while. ...and why is it always horrible?
ShadeF: You're about... ten years up, I think.
Echo: Ten years? Ooh, can I meet my future self?
ShadeF: I'm afraid, by now, I'm the only one left.
Shade: What happened, anyway? I mean, after Metal Sonic was defeated, and after "Morph" was headcrab'd?
ShadeF: I'll explain.

After you defeated Mephiles, the headcrabs miraculously disappeared. The flames died out, and I started relaxing. I shouldn't have. My next enemy was just around the corner. So, ready or not, here he came, it was--

[GUNSHOT! Shade (Future) fell to the ground, dead]
[the chao look around, frantically, for the assasin, but find no one]
Shade: Damn, I hope I don't die like that.
Echo: You probably will, I mean, he IS you.
Shade: I wanna change this timeline, Echo. For the better.
Echo: Cheesy, but I agree. Something about this place just... rubs me the wrong way.
[a faint scream is heard]
Shade: That sounded like... the Hero Garden!
[Shade runs up the stairs]
Shawn: Hold on, Shade! *follows*
SJR: .....wanna check the Neutral Garden?
Echo: Sure.
Chapter 3: Explorers Galore
[in the Hero Garden, Shade and Shawn find Chao]
Chao: Oh! Shade...? And... who are you?
Shawn: Long story short, I'm his father.
Shade: Chao, what happened? Didn't you die in the musical episode?
Chao: Yeah, but... I recently woke up here. It's weird.
Shade: ...THAT'S why you screamed?
Chao: Yeah.
Shade: *sigh*
Chao: So... did you kill the MILKMAN yet?
Shawn: *ahem*
Chao: YOU killed him?
Shawn: What? No, I AM the MILKMAN!
Chao: No way!
[another scream is heard]
Shade: That one sounded like... Junior!
[the three run to the Neutral Garden]
[there, they see Echo and Shade Junior surrounded by Daleks]
Shade: Of course! I should have known!
Shawn: Um... Shade, I think there's STILL something off about this whole thing.
Shade: Really?
Shawn: Yeah. I mean, the future you was shot by a GUN. Not a Dalek gun. A REAL gun. The gunshot proved that.
[the Daleks turned to face them]
Dalek2: GET HIM.
[the Daleks grab Shade, and take him to CPAK (Chao Pre-School And Kindergarten)]
[cut to a dark room; Shade is sitting in a chair, surrounded by Daleks]
Dalek: GRAY ONE.
Shade: Um... yes?
Shade: ....what?
Shade: You mean... I'm gonna die?
Shade: Oh, my GRAY Journey. Right.
Shade: I... I am?
Shade: But... Cham is JOE! He's... he's the evil mastermind!
Shade: ...yes? JOE is?
Dalek: I am not at liberty to say.
Shade: What the fray? ...wait, what?
[the first Dalek's head pops off, and out comes the future Shade]
Shade: Okay, NOW you're just being silly.
ShadeF: Allow me to explain.
Shade: No. NO! All right? NO MORE EXPLANATIONS! Just give me the ****ing SUMMARY for once! Sheesh!
ShadeF: ...*grin* Okay. I'll give you the summary. That first me was fake. I shot him. Okay?
Shade: Okay. But, who was he?
ShadeF: ...I'm not quite sure, really.
Shade: Wait, wait, wait. You don't know... yet you killed him?
ShadeF: Well, I DO, but I can't say it--
Shade: One more thing, NO MORE SECRETS! This is supposed to be the episode of CLOSURE!
ShadeF: HE'S JOE! OKAY?! He was JOE. I killed him. JOE was Tint. The weird clone of you.
Shade: But... Tint didn't exist back in the betas.
ShadeF: Just 'cause he didn't exist doesn't mean he couldn't be JOE.
Chapter 4: Closure
ShadeF: I'll give you ALL the closure you need, Shade. All the information I know, anyway.

First came Metal Sonic and his army of Instabilities, or whatever. Then, Mephiles and his headcrabs. Next was an army of Coca-Cola bottles. That's right. Coca-Cola bottles. They were very deadly... and tried to drown me. I managed to fight back, but they set the entire garden on fire. ...again. After I defeated them, you showed up. Obviously, Cham is the next challenge in my never ending Gray Journey...

Shade: Wait. "Never ending Gray Journey?"
ShadeF: That's right.

The Gray Journey isn't just a name. It's a series of challenges, and they all end when Cham is defeated. The Daleks told me all about it. Think of them as the Vortigaunts of DCA. Anyway, for me, the Journey didn't end. I didn't defeat Cham. He sent me to this hellhole. He managed to trash the Chao World Exit, and put some kinda time bubble of sorts around it. Sci-Fi stuff.

Now, how did he do this when he wasn't even ALIVE until Season 3, and you went to the future in Season 2? Obviously, you were sent to the future, so... I dunno. Try to fill in the blanks yourself, will you?

Shade: I think it all makes sense now.... I think.
Shade: ...yes. Yes, I am.
[ShadeF turns on the lights, revealing that they're in Room 123 (Mister Prower's room)]
[Shade leaves CPAK, and stops in the lobby]
Shade: Wait. How am I supposed to get to Cham?
ShadeF: That's easy. .......wait, you've got a point.
Shade: And then, how am I supposed to FIND him?
ShadeF: Uh.... good luck with that one.
Shade: Sweet.
Shade: Oh. ...okay.
[WARP! Shade is warped to the present-day Chao Lobby somehow]
Shade: Okay, now to find Cham.
[cut to the future CPAK; Future Shade is quietly sitting in the Principal's Office]
[the school's front door is heard opening]
ShadeF: Hello?
ShadeF: Who's there?
[the Principal's Office door opens]
ShadeF: Hey! Who's there?
?: Hello, Shade of the future.
ShadeF: *gasp* You!
?: How are you enjoying your Gray Journey?
[the figure steps into the light, and reveals... he's Cham]
ShadeF: What are you doing here?
Cham: You said your Gray Journey will end when I die. I see. Well, I wouldn't want THAT to happen, now would I?
ShadeF: Get away! I don't want any trouble!
Cham: Too bad. 'Cause I... DO!
[cut to the present-day Chao Lobby; CPAK has been de-converted from the nuclear storage facility]
[the Dark Garden is still normal, with lots of ashes]
[the Hero Garden is normal with ashes, as is the Neutral Garden]
Shade: So, where to search first?
[he searches every nook and cranny, but finds no one]
[so, he decides to enter the Chao World Exit, and search Earth]
Chapter 5: Road Trip!
Shade: Hmm, where could Cham be?
[cut to Future Neutral Garden; Echo is sitting on the "hill," looking out at the sky]
Echo: I never realized how artistic this skybox is.
[meanwhile, Shawn and Shade Junior are screaming for help behind the waterfall, as Cham approaches them]
[Echo hears a bit of their screaming before it stops]
Echo: What the? Who's there?
Echo: ..whatever. I'll just, uh... go back to watching this, erm......skybox.
[while he's sitting there, a voice is heard whispering]
?: Alone on a silent hill?
Echo: Why, yes, actually, I--wait a minute. Who is that?
Echo: Very funny.
?: Psst. I have a secret to tell you.
Echo: Secret? Where?
?:'s me, Cham.
[Cham walks out from behind the waterfall, and charges at him]
[cut to Shade in the Chaos Cola bar in Station Square, drinking a soda at the bar]
[the bartender sees him]
Bartender: Hey. Why the long face?
Shade: Some jerk killed all my friends, sent me to hell, and ran off.
Bar: Oh.
Shade: Yeah. Worst part is, this jerk is my dead friend. He somehow came back to life one day, and just...
Bar: Ah, I see.
Shade: Tell me, where would a jerk run off to?
Bar: .......Mexico.
Shade: Really?
Bar: Yeah.
Shade: You positive?
Bar: Yep.
[the camera turns to behind the bar, showing that the bartender is a chao on stilts and in a mask]
Shade: Well, I'd better start driving. How far is Mexico from Station Square?
Bar: About........ a few light years.
Shade: I meant if I followed the roads.
Bar: Five hours, tops.
Shade: Thanks!
[Shade runs out of the bar, and the camera cuts to Shade on an American highway, traveling south in a banshee]
Shade: Hmm... what's on the radio?
MetalSonic: ...and he chucked it RIGHT into my face. It hurt.
[laughter is heard]
MS: Alright, you are listening to 200.1 FM, Chao Chat, and this is the Poker Tourney '08. It's Thursday, at 8:30 PM.
MechaKnuckles: I'm winning!
MS: Shut up! *snicker* Yeah, the scores are... Mecha's leading, I'm in second, the Tails Doll is third, and Invader Zim is fourth.
Zim: I AM ZIM!
TailsDoll: I swear, if you take your pants off again, I'm gonna.... I'm just gonna give you a Tails Doll curse.
MS: You folks better be glad this isn't on TV. Otherwise... cops'd bust us out first thing.
[cards are heard shuffling]
MK: Okay, boys.... the name of the game is poker.
TD: We know.
MS: Idiot. I mean, this IS the Poker Tourney.
Shade: *chuckle* Those guys are pretty stupid.
[a phone rings]
MS: Shh! SHHH! Quiet, QUIET! *picks up* Hello?
Caller: Yes, hello, *snicker* is this... is this Metal Sonic?
MS: Yep.
Caller: Initials "MS?"
MS: Exactly.
Caller: Um... what if I called you, "Pwnage Metal Sonic?"
Caller: *laughter* Oh, dude, you are so... so whacked.
MS: Somebody's gonna GET whacked if they don't tell me what's so funny.
Caller: Those initials... are "PMS."
[the other three poker players start laughing]
MS: Oh, very funny. Now shut up.
[Shade starts laughing, and decides to turn the radio off]
Shade: So, let's see.... Mexico.... Mexico.... ah, exit 40!
[Shade pulls onto another road, and turns on the radio again]
TD: Hey, you're listening to Chao Chat, 200.1 FM. I'm the Tails Doll, and we're in the Poker Tourney '08.
MK: Hey, whaddya guys say I play some music? This place is boring.
MS: Sure.
TD: Why not.
Zim: I AM ZIM!
[Mecha Knuckles turns on the stereo, and playing is Jaret Reddick's "Endless Possibility," from Sonic Unleashed]
MS: Yes!
MK: This song ROCKS!
Zim: I AM ZIM!
[they all sing along while playing poker, and Shade sings along, too]
MS: This is my escape, I'm running through this world and I'm not looking back.
MK: And I know I can go where no one's ever gone and I'm not looking back.
MS: But how will I know when I get there....and how will I know when to leave?
TD: We've all gotta start from somewhere, It's right there for me, the possibilities are never ending.

All: I see it, I see it, and now it's all within my reach!
MK: Endless possibility!
All: I see it, I see it now, it's always been inside of me!
MK: And now I feel so free!
All: Endless possibility!

[the next verse is a rap]
MS: You're losing speed!
MK: You're losing your flow!
MS+MK: But inside is a power you'll never know!
MS: Runnin' out!
MK: It's inside you!
MS+MK: You'd better all step back 'cause I'm comin' through!


All: I see it, I see it, and now it's all within my reach!
MK: Endless possibility!
All: I see it, I see it now, it's always been inside of me!
MK: And now I feel so free!
All: Endless possibility!
MS: Endless possibility!
MK: Endless possibility!
TD: Endless possibility!
All: Endless possibility!
[right at the end, Zim shouts "I AM ZIM!" and Metal Sonic says, "Shut the **** up, man."]
[Shade turns the radio off, and a hitchhiker gets him to stop]
Shade: Hey, bud. Where ya goin'?
Hitch: Uh...... I'm going......... GET OUTTA THE ****ING CAR, MAN.
Shade: Huh?
[the hitchhiker pulls out a gun, and points it at him]
Hitch: Get. Out.
Shade: Yes, sir!
[Shade exits the car, and the hitchhiker takes it, and drives away]
[Shade stares in the direction the car went for a few seconds, and then sits down]
Shade: Well, so much for that. ....oh, it's useless.... I'm all alone out here! What was I thinking?
[suddenly, Shade notices a sign that reads, "Mexico border- 1 mile," and cheers up]
Shade: I was thinking GOOD!
[he runs in the direction of the sign]
[eventually, he makes it to Mexico]
Chapter 6: Livin' La Vida Loco
[cut to Shade in a random rural village; he finds an abandoned house, and takes it]
Shade: Okay, so... I guess I'll stay here until I beat Cham. After that.... it's a little fuzzy. I'll think it over as I stand here, talking to myself.
[Shade thinks it over]
Shade: I suppose I'll just go back to the Dark Garden. Yeah. Now, where to find Cham?
[he notices Cham walking to a town market]
Shade: Man, I'm good. Okay, Cham... time to say 'goodbye.'
Cham: Hello, Shade!
Shade: Uh.... hey. ...been here long?
Cham: Me? Oh, yeah.
Shade: So........... I'm gonna kill you now.
Cham: Huh? Why?
Shade: Sorta 'cause you've been behind the plan that destroyed my home, and tried to kill me on multiple occasions.
Cham: Seriously. Why?
Shade: ...........(Damn, I can't think of anything!)
Cham: With no real reason to kill me, I'm afraid you'll have to wait. Now, if you'll excuse me... I have some papayas to buy.
[Cham walks away, but Shade grabs his shoulder]
Shade: You killed them....... didn't you?
Cham: Killed WHO..... Shade? Do you mean..... "daddy?" "Son?" "Bird-boy?"
Shade: You.... no way. You couldn't have...
Cham: (deviously) I don't know what you're talking about.
Shade: I can't believe it...
Cham: Oh, and.... I know when you're going to die, Shade. It's not today.
Shade: killed future me? What the HELL, man? What the HELL?
Cham: What are you getting at now, Shade?
Shade: Cham... I now have a reason to kill you.
Cham: Do tell.
Shade: You killed Shawn, Shade Junior, Echo, and future me!
Cham: You can't PROVE that.
Shade: No, you're right... but, I know someone who CAN.
Cham: Who?
Shade: Cham, I am pressing charges against you.
Cham: Rather odd for someone as reputable as you.
Shade: I did some thinking, Cham. And I realized... you directed me here. So I would kill you. And people would know. And stuff.
Cham: Say what? Absurd.
Shade: In any case, I'm going to my attorney.
Cham: Not if I get to him first.
[Cham runs off in the direction of San Francisco]
Shade: NO!
[Shade runs off in the same direction]
[BGM: Radical Train ~The Chase~, from Sonic the Hedgehog]
[cut to Shade and Cham running through a Mexican market]
[Cham pushes some fruit carts over, which Shade cautiously dodges]
[Shade jumps across people's heads and catches up with Cham]
[Cham jumps onto a random mule, and rides it]
[of course, mules aren't too fast, so Shade gets a good lead]
[Cham hops off his mule, and starts running]
[they take to some rooftops]
[Shade knocks some random garbage cans over, and Cham trips]
[Shade runs into a wall, giving Cham the lead]
[they run onto the highway]
[they swerve past cars]
[Shade hops onto a car going forward, as does Cham]
[Cham had grabbed some rocks, and throws them at Shade]
[Shade dodges most of the rocks, but one hits him, and he falls; Shade grabs onto the bottom of the car]
[Cham hopped onto Shade's car, and prepares to finish him off]
[Shade quickly hops onto another car, and watches as Cham's car goes onto another highway. New York]
[Shade makes it to San Francisco]
[end BGM]
[Shade goes to 2006360 Parkville Place, and knocks on the door]
[a gray hedgehog opens the door]
?: Who knocks on the garden's gate?
Shade: One who has eaten the fruit, and tasted its mysteries.
?: ....come in.
[the hedgehog lets Shade in]
Shade: Hey, Silver.
Silver: 'Sup, Shade? Life treating ya well?
Shade: Hardly. I can't even get a moment's peace without some enemy from the past coming back and screwing everything up!
Silver: So, what'dja come for?
Shade: Someone is trying to kill me.
Silver: ...are they suing you?
Shade: .........damn, I completely forgot about that.
Silver: About what?
Shade: I can't beat him in court unless HE sues ME!
Silver: Or if you get a good prosecutor, which I'm NOT. I'm a defense attorney.
Shade: Aw, jeez...
Silver: Hang on. I remember something from the Ace Attorney series. If he's involved in ANOTHER case, like a witness, or a friend of the accused, or something...
Shade: ...we can drag him into court and get him held for THESE charges!
Both: KNOWLEDGE IS POWER! *high-5*
[a pink cat walks in]
Blaze: Silver, I told you not to ever say that again.
Silver: Sorry.
Blaze: Also, there's something interesting in the mail.
Silver: Really?
Blaze: Yeah. Apparently, some guy named "Cham" is suing your pal for threatening to kill him.
Shade: WHAT?! More like the other way around!
Silver: Shade, you should be more focused on the fact we got the job you needed.
Shade: Oh, yeah.
[dramatic camera angles directed at Shade]
Shade: Finally, Cham and I can settle this.... IN COURT!
Chapter 7: Silver the Hedgehog: Ace Attorney, "Turnabout Betas"
"August 19, 2008
District Court
Courtroom No.32"
[the jury is chattering for a little bit]
[Silver is in the defense bench, and Shade is his partner]
[the prosecution bench is currently empty]
[in the judge's chair.... is Bowser, king of the koopas]
[Bowser bangs his gavel]
Bowser: Okay, okay! Court is now in session, so SHADDUP!
[the jury goes quiet]
Bowser: Today, we have an odd crime. Apparently, Shade the Dark has been charged for attempted murder of the nth degree.
[Bowser looks around the room nervously]
Silver: Is there something wrong, your honor?
Bowser: Sort of. I mean.... where's the prosecution?
?: Excuse me, your honor?
[Cham appears in the witness' stand]
Cham: About the prosecution...
Bowser: Yeah?
Cham: Miles "Tails" Prower was unable to make it today. However, I have hired the greatest prosecutor on the planet to fight against Mister Silver.
Bowser: That's great! I love seeing the grayhog in his little arguments! He's so stupid, it's funny!
Silver: Um... thanks?
Cham: In fact, here he comes, now.
?: I'm quite sorry I'm late, your honor. My luggage was lost on the pavement on the way here.
[everyone gasps, except Cham]
Silver+Shade: You have GOT to be kidding me.
[it's Professor Layton!]
Layton: So then, where were we?
Bowser: Um... and, uh... what makes you qualified to be a prosecutor?
Layton: Quite simple, really, my boy. I look at each case like a puzzle, and the answer comes soon thereafter.
?: Butt out, Prof! Go back to your puzzle games. Leave this case to the professionals, like ME!
Cham: Ah, here he is. Fang the Sniper.
[Fang the Sniper, a purple weasel (in case you haven't played Sonic Triple Trouble or The Fighters), pushes Layton out of the way]
Fang: Let's get this party started!
Bowser: So, um............. what profession are you, again?
Fang: A sniper. ...but, my dayjob is working at an EBGames.
Bowser: Sure. Why not? Stranger things HAVE happened in this courtroom...
Fang: That's right. Now, let's know the details.
Bowser: See, that's the thing... I don't even KNOW the ****ing details. Cham here didn't even tell me!
Cham: The details, your honor... this is not the trial of attempted murder.
Bowser: It's not?
Cham: No. This is.... well, I believe Shade can answer that.
Shade: Cham...
[Shade stands tall]
Shade: This trial is actually to prove that CHAM has attempted to murder ME.
[the jury starts chatting; Bowser bangs his gavel]
[the jury shuts up]
Bowser: Mister Sniper! Is this true?
Fang: What? Oh, that. Yeah, it's true. These two just wanted to settle this with that hedgehog dude as defense, and stuff.
Bowser: Hmm... I think I see what's going on. Okay! I have decided... this trial will be severely ****ed up.
Shade: Agreed.
Cham: Agreed.
Silver: Agreed.
Fang: Seconded.
Bowser: Very well. Mister Shade, since you seem to be "in the know," as the youngsters say...
All: We don't say that.
Bowser: Shut up! Shade, you will tell us where this crazy trial will begin.
Shade: Yes, your honor. I say we begin this with a simple testimony... from Cham.
["HOLD IT!!!" is seen on-screen as Fang shouts it.... well, he actually shouts "HOLD YER HORSES," but still]
Fang: My main man, Cham? You kiddin' me? This whole trial's a mess already, why d'ya want more?
Bowser: I'm sorry, Mister Sniper, but Shade called it. Cham, you're up.

Cham's Testimony (Witness' Account)
I don't know what Shade's trying to pull, your honor. All I did was talk to his dad, and his son, and my old friend. He thinks I killed them? Pfft. And this whole "attempted murder" thing? Bogus, man. Bogus.

Bowser: .....Silver, you may now begin the cross-examination.
Silver: Wha? Me?
Bowser: You ARE the defense attorney, aren't you?
Silver: ...yes, your honor.

Cross Examination (Witness' Account)
Words in parenthesis are the testimony.

(I don't know what Shade's trying to pull, your honor.)
["HOLD IT!!!" appears on-screen as Silver shouts it]
Silver: Really?
Cham: Yep.
Silver: Well, I think you DO know!
Cham: ......whatever. May I continue?
Silver: ................okay.

(All I did was talk to his dad, and his son, and my old friend.)
["HOLD IT!!!" appears on-screen as Silver shouts it]
Silver: What did you say to them?
Cham: I simply talked about how Shade's been acting awfully strange lately.
Shade: Yeah, right!
[Silver holds Shade back]
Silver: And what did they say?
Cham: Huh?
Silver: Shade's father, son, and the old friend. What did they say?
Cham: Uh................ they said they agree with me.
Shade: Damn, and you almost had him.
Silver: I know...

(He thinks I killed them? Pfft.)
["HOLD IT!!!" appears on-screen as Silver shouts it]
Silver: *grin* And that's where your lies come to an end, Cham.
Cham: What are you talking about?
Silver: We never said anything about you killing them. We said you attempted to murder Shade.
Cham: Eah!
["OBJECTION!!!" appears on-screen as Fang shouts it]
Fang: My pal here is OBVIOUSLY confused.
["OBJECTION!!!" appears on-screen as Silver shouts it, although he actually shouted, "RIGHT BACK ATCHA!!!"]
Silver: He hired YOU to prosecute him. ....he MUST be confused. I agree.
Fang: .....urk.
Silver: Oh, and he's SO confused, he sued my client?
Fang: ................shut up.
Silver: I say Cham not just attempted to murder my client... HE MURDERED THESE THREE PEOPLE!
[the jury starts chatting; Bowser bangs his gavel to shut them up]
Bowser: Hot DAMN, man! That's some accusation you got there!
Shade: It's not just an accusation! Cham even TOLD me he killed them!
Cham: ....
Bowser: Hey. Cham. What's up?
Cham: ........nice. So I DID kill them. So what?
Silver: "So what?" You just announced it in a public court, THAT'S what!
Cham: Need I remind you that's not what I'm on trial for?
Bowser: ...he's right. Cham's on trial for attempted murder. But, he will be trialed for this stuff at a later--
Cham: Shade, why are we doing all this legal crap?
Shade: ...?
Cham: Why don't you and I settle this... properly?
Bowser: What is he getting at?
Fang: Heh heh heh.... I believe my buddy here is hinting towards a good, ol' fashioned... duel.
Bowser: A...duel?
Fang: Yeah. Shade n' Cham, head to head. Mano e mano. Tete et tete. Nothin' but them. That's what he's gettin' at.
Bowser: Ah, how poetic!
Cham: Well, Shade? What do you say we settle this like chao?
Shade: ........okay.
Chapter 8: Duel at the Hard Rock Cafe
[cut to the Chaos Cola bar in Station Square]
[Cham and Shade are up on a stage in front of a live audience]
Cham: Alright, folks, here's how it's gonna go down. We're havin' ourselves a battle of the bands!
[the crowd cheers]
Cham: So, without further ado.... EAT THIS, SHADE!
[Cham begins playing a heavy metal tune, but then Shade smacks him in the head with his guitar]
Cham: AH! What'd you do THAT for?
Shade: This isn't how we should settle this!
Cham: You're right...
Shade: Now, let's settle this like REAL chao!
Chapter 8.5: Shade Versus Cham
[it's super dramatic]
[Shade is standing at one end of a large plain]
[Cham at the other]
[there's a sunset]
[each is wearing a cowboy hat, and is equipped with a gun]
[they're facing away from each other]
Shade: You ready?
Cham: Yeah.
Both: One.... two...
[Cham turns around]
Both: Three...
[Cham shoots Shade]
Cham: Draw.
Shade: ACK! Whoa! *falls over* Dude, you... you shot my........... my heart...
Cham: (imitating Bentley Jones) Open your heart, it'll be all right.
Shade: You...... so..n...... o..f..... ..a....... .......b.......i......*dies*
Cham: That's right, everyone. I won. Now, I'm the last living chao! I will rule the Chao Gardens.... muahahahahahahaHAHAHA!
DJ: Not if I have anything to say about it!
Cham: Heh. DJay, just... crawl back into your hole, where you belong.
[I highlight the entire season 6]
Cham: No way.
[I reach for the delete key]
Cham: Dude, what are you trying to pull? You can't! That's, like...a middle finger to the fans!
[I'm about to press it]
Cham: *sobs* NOOOO!!!
[I press it, and the whole Season 6 ceases to exist]


That's it, folks. Season 6? Done. Well, yeah, technically, they're back at the "bombed gardens" part, but... I'm gonna change the story this time. For the better. The Beta Avengers will just... die. Okay?

[Cham shoots my hands]
What? No!
Cham: *points gun at my head* RETYPE IT!
Okay! Okay! We're cool, man. Everything's cool.
[so, Season 6 DID happen. Exactly as you read it. Except this time, we cut back to Shade and Cham at the duel]

Chapter 8.5: Shade Versus Cham
[it's super dramatic]
[Shade is standing at one end of a large plain]
[Cham at the other]
[there's a sunset]
[each is wearing a cowboy hat, and is equipped with a gun]
[they're facing away from each other]
Shade: You ready?
Cham: Yeah.
Both: One.... two...
[Cham turns around]
Both: Three...
[right when Cham shoots, Shade pulls out a copy of Thriller, and uses it to deflect the bullet]
Cham: Wha--?
Shade: You thought I didn't realize you'd cheat? Now, Cham, I'm gonna kill you, and revive my friends.
Cham: *laugh* Go ahead. Kill me.
Shade: In a moment.
Cham: ...what?
Shade: If I kill you NOW, when I revive everyone, you'll be back. So, I'll just... revive everyone first.
Cham: But....
[Shade puts the "Thriller" CD on the ground, and everyone is revived]
Cham: ....I see. Well, either way, you won't be able to defeat me! YOU'LL NEVER DEFEAT ME!
Shade: Actually, Cham... I think I finally understand how to defeat you.
Cham: Wha-huh?
Shade: You're technically a Beta. You feed off of the plot holes and DJay's mess-ups. So, I'll just... piece those back together.
Cham: Heh. I'll just kill you before you get the chance!
Shade: Not this time, Cham. We're gonna truly settle this. In court. That way, if you kill me, it's jail for you.
Cham: .......and how do you expect to GET to court before I simply kill you?
Shade: I'll use some Beta powers one last time.
[Shade summons a Microsoft Notepad, or THIS one, and types in...]
[Shad nd Chm go to curt]
Chapter 9: Shade Takes the Cake.... TO COURT!
Bowser:'d you get here so quick?
Shade: Don't ask. It's a long story. And, your honor, I request that I get one chance at putting the pieces of this puzzle together!
Fang: What puzzle?
Shade: The puzzle.... of this show.
Bowser: ...very well. YOU, ALONE, though. No help!
Shade: Hmmm... how am I going to do this? I'd better think deep for this one...
[Shade is somehow teleported to the rip in time and space beyond the planet of pure dooky]
Shade: What the?
[in front of him are the Followers of the Gray One (Daleks)]
Shade: Huh? But, who? How?
Shade: But... how?
Shade: All right. So, what's going on?
Shade: And... how?
Shade: I see. Well, let's do this!

Shade: Hmm.... she is clearly mistaken. Perhaps she is a different, similar-looking Dark chao's brother.
Shade: We all know Quartz is stupid. He was obviously continuing his lack of knowledge by losing memory and making false claims.
Shade: *thinks* That, my friend, is the sorcery of behind-the-scenes scams. I managed to snatch my codec back later on.
Shade: Sweet! Thanks!
Shade: You mean it's not Tint?
Dalek1: GOOD LUCK.
[Shade is teleported back to court]

Bowser: Well, Shade? Do you have your answers?
Shade: Yes, your honor. Lemme just clear some space.

The female Shade is not Shade Junior's brother. She was mistaken. Thus, we are not commiting incest. Secondly, I shall now declare that Quartz is not only stupid, but his memory doesn't serve him well. Thus, he did not enter City Hall with Phantom. Next on the list, Chao took my codec, but I snatched it back. I also snatched a second pair, and gave it to Dark. Thus, we were able to contact each other later on.

Bowser: Hmmm.... very well done, Shade!
Silver: Great going, Shade! You did it!
Shade: ...not quite.
Cham: You're right, Shade. If you did it as you say you did, I would be magically defeated. But, I'm not. So, what's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong, YOUR LOGIC is wrong!
Shade: No, Cham, it is not my logic that is wrong...... it is YOURS!
Cham: Wha...WHAAAAAT!!!???
Shade: I also figured something else out. Allow me to spill the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

You are not JOE. JOE was disguised as my future self. My future self said JOE was Tint, my clone opposite. However, there was something so desperately WRONG with that. Tint did not exist in the Betas! In fact, by now, there are only two possibilities of who JOE truly was.

My future self was lying. Yes. He was lying to hide JOE's true identity. JOE, ladies and gentlemen of the jury.... was CHAM! Before you speak, I would also like to say that YOU are not Cham. No. But, I'm getting to you.

Why future me killed Cham, I do not know. But... but, I will piece it together in the next few paragraphs.

Now, on to YOU. You, "Cham," you cannot BE Cham. Cham died as future me shot him. Cham started off evil, yes, and he attempted to kill me, indeed, but when he came to the future Gardens disguised as future me, he wrote his own will with that one.

You managed to find some way into those gardens. Perhaps Cham sent you there as punishment for letting my son go rather than die? Way back in our second journey to Chao Talk, that is. Anyway, I was curious as to why I hadn't seen you since... Season 5. I mean, I expected you to try and kill us.

No... no, my logic's slightly off. Cham DIDN'T send you there as punishment... he sent you there in wait. You would meet up with him there. However, since he died, you had a backup plan, didn't you? Your plan to disguise yourself as him, and finally get some credit around here.

You, sir, are the true evil mastermind behind all this! You are....

No. No, I won't reveal it yet. Right now, I'll piece together why future me hid Cham's identity. He assasinated him with a sniper rifle... then lied about who he was. This would mean that... if I knew he was Cham, I would relax. Of course! Future me knew you were here. He knew you were gonna try and kill me. But, he knew that if I knew Cham was dead, I'd think that's it. I'd relax. Then, you'd kill me. So, he lied... to protect me. Thank you, future me. May you rest in peace now.

And now, onto the subject of you.

Through heavy thinking, I can deduce that you, sir, are indeed a Beta Avenger. Not a Beaten Grave member, but a Beta Avenger. That's why the Daleks knew you would be defeated if I patched all the plot holes up. Because, in this show.... Betas live on plot holes. That's where you get your power.

One last thing. Since the MILKMAN is right here, and Echo is right here, and Cham and Tagliare are dead...

Wait a second. That would mean... YOU were the original JOE? No way! I mean, you helped Dark out way back in the betas... this can't be. But, it is.

You, sir....



["Cham" is staring in awe]
Cham: No.... no way....
Shade: I'm afraid ya wai, Metal Speedy.
Cham: This is... this is impossible! This is MADNESS!
Bowser: Madness? Sir Metal Speedy, this court has reached its verdict.
["Cham" looks around the room, nervously]
[Bowser bangs his gavel]
["Cham's" pupils shrink]
Cham: .................
Silver: Mister Metal Speedy?
["Cham" falls to the floor; a robotic Sonic chao wearing a dark overcoat rises]
Chapter 10: Emotions n' Confessions
MetalSpeedy: Shade...... I never liked you. You always ruined my plans.
Shade: "Your" plans?
MSp: Yes. My plans. Shawn the moron didn't come up with those plans. It wasn't even Cham!
Shade: Let me guess. It was you?
MSp: Right. Cham was my partner ever since he was revived. I would come up with the plans, and he would put them in effect.
Shade: ...I see.
MSp: Way back, when I helped Dark... I wasn't a Beta Avenger then. It was AFTER that. When Dark got all the Chaos Emeralds, and just... left me.
Shade: You were mad at him, and decided to "help" my father start the robotic group?
MSp: They weren't even called "Beaten Graves" back then. None of us have any idea what Echo or Tagliare's REAL names even are!
Fang: Hmm... so, you started this little group as revenge against this ********* who just up and left back in the day?
MSp: YES! I've never... hated anyone so much. I even got Cham to hate Dark, hence why he told you his job was to kill him.
Fang: Buddy, what you don't understand is that revenge... is a dish best served cold. It doesn't work when ya got a heated hatred against some jerk.
Silver: *nods* Right. If you want revenge against someone, look towards your legal specialist for help.
Bowser: *nods* The cold, hard truth. While the law isn't perfect, its flaws are what help you win.
MSp: What do you mean? I thought the court system was flawless!
Shade: Then you need to brush up on your Ace Attorney, pal!
[everyone laughs]
Bowser: But seriously, you're going to jail for a couple years.
MSp: Aww...
Bowser: Case closed!
[Bowser bangs his gavel; everyone leaves]
"August 19, 2008
District Court
Defendant's Lobby No.32"
Silver: That was amazing, Shade!
Shade: Heh. Thanks.
Shade: Huh?
[all the chao are rushing in]
[Dark runs up to Shade and randomly hugs him]
Shade: Um... okay, you can stop now.
[Dark stops]
Dark: We saw the whole thing on Court TV! That... that was AWESOME! SO AWESOME!
Chao: Well, I gotta admit, that certainly was interesting.
Red: Great job out there, Shade, my man! *high-5*
Shade: Red! 'Sup?
Red: Thanks for reviving us. Being dead sucks.
Shade: Yeah, but listen... try not to die anymore, okay?
Chao: What do you mean?
Shade: If I have to revive anybody using Thriller, I'll revive Cham. And who knows WHAT'll happen then?
Red: Eh, don't worry 'bout it too much. Everybody's gonna dance tonight!
Shade: ...what?
[everyone cheers and runs out the door except Shade and Silver]
Shade: Well, it looks like I gotta go. ...thanks for everything, Silver.
Silver: What did I do? YOU'RE the one who exposed Metal Speedy.
Shade: ...just...thanks.
[Shade leaves]
[cut to the Dark Garden]
[Shade walks in, and everything's... normal! No ashes, or anything]
Shade: What the?
Hero: We decided to clean everything up. As thanks.
Shade: All right, whatever, now let's get this party started!
[everyone cheers as Shade jumps into the air to Genesis music; the screen pauses with Shade in the air]
[fade to black]

[cut to the Dark Garden; the Darks are just... being Darks]
Shade (voice-over): So, that's my gray journey. In the end, I managed to end it, and foil Metal Speedy's plan.
[the camera pans over the Garden]
Shade (VO): Shawn's staying with us, of course, so that's great. Echo also decided to stick around. Everything turned out good--
Shade (VO): What? DJay?
There's one last plot hole left!
Shade (VO): Whoa, whoa, WHOA! WHAT?! We'd better fix this, and FAST!
[the camera stops panning over the Dark Garden; cut to the space/time rip beyond planet dooky]
[Shade and the Daleks are there]
Shade: Name it.
Shade: Oh, I see what you're getting at.
[Shade turns around, and Cham is standing there]
Cham: Now I can kill you properly!
Shade: Cham, listen... Metal Speedy's in jail.
Cham: ....what?
Shade: He was arrested.
Cham: R..really? He WAS?
Shade: Yeah. You probably won't ever see him again.
Cham: .......oh. ....finally, I can be Neutral again, rather than evil.
Shade: What?
Cham: Shade... Metal Speedy probably told you we were partners, right?
Shade: WAIT, lemme guess. He was manipulating you, but you knew. If you betrayed him, he'd kill you.
Cham: You guessed it.
Shade:'s good to have you back, Cham.
Cham: Good to BE back.
Shade: Hey, Daleks, does this mean I can use Thriller again?
Shade: Oh. ...wait, does it revive hedgehogs?
[cut to the Chao Lobby; Shade is standing in front of the Chao World Exit]
[the Chao World Exit shakes]
[the camera shows an air-shoe step out of the portal]
[focus on Shade's face smiling as Shadow the Hedgehog says the following]
"Uncle"Shadow: Hey, Shade! How ya doin'?
[the screen quickly turns to black]

Dark Chao Adventures was created in loving memory of all my chao, including Shade and Echo! But, not Shawn. He's not real.
Shade: We won't do anything epic!

So, that's The Gray Journey, all ten episodes. I hope you enjoyed that kuh-raaazy ride, folks. 'Cause I did. How will the chao live now? You'll have to wait until Season 7 to find out!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Shady Infiltration

Last time on DCA:

[Shade spreads the seven Chaos Drives in front of him]
MM: My real name is Shawn the Dark.
Shade: The servers are the seven Chaos. Chaos is power... power enriched by the heart. The controller is the one that unifies the Chaos. Only you can do this; GIVE ME ALL YOU GOT!
MM: I'm Shade's father.
[more bright lights; the seven yellow Chaos Drives spin around Shade, and transform him]
[the back of his head becomes like the back of Metal Sonic's]
[his emotiball turns light blue]
[he becomes a DARK/SWIM CHAO]
[the drives disappear; a small fanfare is heard]
Shade: I'm ready.

Season 6: The Gray Journey

Episode 49: Shade's End Part Two: Shady Infiltration

[the story resumes on planet Norion; Shade, Shawn, and Shade Junior have to activate three generators]
Chapter 1: Activating the First Generator
[cut to Shade Junior having to activate Generator A]
(Note: Each of the Shade family is given a radio to let them communicate, and record their progress]
SJR: Junior to HQ. I have begun my descent into the series of hallways which lead to Generator A.
[Junior walks through some rooms and blasts some small creatures]
SJR: My weapon, the Laser Pistol, is quite sufficient at dealing with everything here.
[he blasts some rubble out of the way, and enters the next door]
SJR: ....Junior to HQ. Checkpoint reached. I repeat, checkpoint reached. I shall clear the LZ for the ships to come in.
[Junior clears a landing zone (LZ)]
SJR: LZ secure, and ready for Dalek landing.
[a Dalek ship flies to the LZ, and lands; Daleks come out, and start shooting into what looks like thin air]
SJR: ...that was rather random. Now moving towards the Generator.
[he goes through, defeating some enemies and whatnot]
[until he finds himself at a large room]
SJR: Ah! The generator! Um... HQ, how do I activate it?
[he listens to HQ]
SJR: Of course.
[Junior steps towards the center of the room, and a ton of security robots fly in!]
SJR: EEK! Eah! *budda budda budda* EAT LEAD!
[the security bots fall]
[BANG....... BANG....... BANG!]
[a giant security bot walks in]
[the robot starts shooting him]
SJR: Time to get Tour Guide-y!
[Junior grabs some stilts, and puts on a large cloak; he becomes the Tour Guide]
TG: Ready to die, robot freak? *pulls out minigun* You'd better be.
[the security robot blows up]
TG: That's what I thought.
[he takes off the cloak; a button appears by a control panel]
SJR: Hmm... *presses button* *BOOM!* **** **** ****!!!
[Junior is sent flying out of the Generator via the explosion]
[he slams into the ground]
Shade: (radio) Junior, Dad? I've activated my generator. What about you two?
Shawn: (radio) *pant* *pant* Uh... we're all set on this end. Whoo... returning to the main control tower.
SJR: Oof... (radio) *cough cough* Mine exploded on me.
Shade: Really? Uh... heh heh.... that's strange.
SJR: Why?
Shade: No reason. Let's go to the control tower.
[they do, and approach the elevator]
Shawn: So, this is the elevator, huh? Looks like ****.
Shade: Careful what you say, Dad. People are watching this.
Shawn: The Daleks?
Shade: That, and this episode is being used right now for the "Making of" recording.
[the three wave at the screen, and smile]
[they stop waving]
Shawn: Well, shall we enter the elevator?
Shade: Yes. Let's.
[they enter the elevator, and ride it upwards]
[it's super dramatic as they ride it upwards]
[the elevator reaches the top, and they get off]
All: *gasp*
[Now, let's move back in time to when Shawn had to activate Generator B]
Chapter 2: The Second Bee Genesis. Radiator.
[Shawn enters a very dark corridor]
Shawn: Shawn the Dark to HQ.... everything is dark. Why'd you give me just a flashlight? Aren't there gonna be enemies?
[he starts walking]
[a bunch of security robots appear]
Shawn: Huh?
[Shawn flashes the light on them, but they disappear]
Shawn: ...creepy.
[he resumes walking]
[the security robots reappear]
Shawn: Who's there?
[shine light; disappear; resume; reappear; shine light; disappear; mix with broccoli until golden brown; serve with peanuts]
[eventually, he reaches the checkpoint]
Shawn: Shawn to HQ. Checkpoint reached.
[the security bots appear; Shawn sees them]
[at this time, Junior's Daleks arrive and shoot at the bots]
Shawn: ...that was rather random. Now moving towards the Generator.
[Shawn resumes his quest]
[he avoids some poisonous-looking stuff, and manages to find the Generator room]
[a ton of security robots appear]
Shawn: AIEEEE! Uh... uh... there's a sale on women's jeans down at Generator A!
[the security robots fly to generator A]
[BANG.... BANG..... BANG!]
[a large security robot walks into the room]
Shawn: ...oh, boy. Um... I'm going to need some heavy weaponry for this.
[Shawn whips out the big guns-- a rocket launcher]
Shawn: Time for you to go back where you came from.
[Shawn starts singing Live and Learn, I don't know why, maybe it's where Shade's love for singing came from]
Shawn: Can you feel life movin' through your mind,
Ooh, looks like it came back for more!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Can you feel time slippin' down your spine,
Ooooooh, You try and try to ignore!

But you can hardly swallow,
Your fears and pain.
When you can't help but follow,
It puts you right back where you came.

Live and learn!
Hanging on the edge of tomorrow,
Live and learn!
From the works of yesterday.
Live and learn!
If you beg or if you borrow,
Live and learn!
You may never find your way.

Whooooa, yeah!

Can you feel life tangle you up inside?
Yeah, now you're face down on the floor!

But you can't save your sorrow,
You've paid in trade!
When you can't help but follow,
It puts you right back where you came.

Live and learn!
Hanging on the edge of tomorrow,
Live and learn!
From the works of yesterday.
Live and learn!
If you beg or if you borrow,
Live and learn!
You may never find your way.

Hey, whoa, whoa,
Oh yeeeeeeeeeeeah!


Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!


There's a face searching far, so far and wide.
There's a place where you dream you'd never find.
Hold on to what if?
Hold on to what if?

Live and learn!
Hanging on the edge of tomorrow,
Live and learn!
From the works of yesterday.
Live and learn!
If you beg or if you borrow,
Live and learn!
You may never find your way.

Live and learn!
Hanging on the edge of tomorrow,
Live and learn!
From the works of yesterday.
Live and learn!
If you beg or if you borrow,
Live and learn!
You may never find your way.
[the song ends, and the robot is severely weakened!]
Shawn: Now it would seem I'd need some sort of minigun to defeat it... I can't do that!
[Shawn thinks]
Shawn: Um... uh... look over there! An archville!
[the robot runs to Generator A, expecting an archville]
Shawn: Heh heh heh... sucker.
[a button appears by the control panel; Shawn presses it]
Shawn: Now to report to HQ. ....HEY, THOSE LITTLE ROBOTS STOLE MY RADIO!
[he spots some security robots with his radio flying away]
Shawn: GET BACK HERE! *chases*
[he eventually gets it back]
Shade: (radio) Junior, Dad? I've activated my generator. What about you two?
Shawn: (radio) *pant* *pant* Uh... we're all set on this end. Whoo... returning to the main control tower.
SJR: Oof... (radio) *cough cough* Mine exploded on me.
Shade: Really? Uh... heh heh.... that's strange.
SJR: Why?
Shade: No reason. Let's go to the control tower.
[they do, and approach the elevator]
Shawn: So, this is the elevator, huh? Looks like ****.
Shade: Careful what you say, Dad. People are watching this.
Shawn: The Daleks?
Shade: That, and this episode is being used right now for the "Making of" recording.
[the three wave at the screen, and smile]
[they stop waving]
Shawn: Well, shall we enter the elevator?
Shade: Yes. Let's.
[they enter the elevator, and ride it upwards]
[it's super dramatic as they ride it upwards]
[the elevator reaches the top, and they get off]
All: *gasp*
[now let's go back to when Shade was going for Generator C]
Chapter 3: It All Adds Up
Shade: This is Shade. My BFG (Big ****ing Gun) is epic... it's an awesome weapon.
[Shade clears a room using his weapon]
Shade: I am currently making my way to the outside area.
[Shade exits the building, and finds a computer on a walkway]
Shade: Huh? What's this? ....Shade to HQ, I've found a computer that apparently blocks the reinforcements from landing.
Shade: I don't KNOW why! Look, I'll just fix it, okay?
[Shade starts fixing the computer]
[MINIGAME! Shade must work out a code]
Shade: Hmm... HIQ od E61i? What could THAT mean? Let me just look at this keyboard...
[Shade works part of the code out]
Shade: JOE od E61i..... this is weird.
[the words, "Why is JOE's name in there?" floats across the top of the screen, followed by a question mark in a red box]
Shade: Not all of the code follows the same rule. What's up with that?
[he gets back to work at decoding the complicated code]
Shade: JOE is E61i...... what the hell?
[the words, "JOE is what?" floats across the top of the screen, followed by a question mark in a red box]
Shade: Huh. This last word is extremely hard to decipher. ...I'll get back to it later.
[MINIGAME END; HQ contacts Shade]
Shade: Yeah? .....oh, really? I did it? I didn't need to decipher the whole code in the first place? I'm repeating your words, and that's strange?
[Shade continues into the generator building]
Shade: Shade to HQ. I'm entering Generator C.
[Shade blasts a few enemies away with his awesome BFG, and enters the actual generator room] [the lights are off]
Shade: Damn teenagers... playing pranks on me.
[Shade turns the lights on, and thinks he sees someone disappear]
Shade: What the? Who's there?
Shade: ...huh, you don't say.
[Shade activates the generator, but right before he does, somebody reappears and shoots the button]
Shade: Holy--
[another explosion is heard in the distance]
[the person who shot the button... was JOE. In his dark matter suit, no less.]
[Shade just stares at him, and he disappears]
Shade: (radio) Junior, Dad? I've activated my generator. What about you two?
Shawn: (radio) *pant* *pant* Uh... we're all set on this end. Whoo... returning to the main control tower.
SJR: Oof... (radio) *cough cough* Mine exploded on me.
Shade: Really? Uh... heh heh.... that's strange.
SJR: Why?
Shade: No reason. Let's go to the control tower.
[they do, and approach the elevator]
Shawn: So, this is the elevator, huh? Looks like ****.
Shade: Careful what you say, Dad. People are watching this.
Shawn: The Daleks?
Shade: That, and this episode is being used right now for the "Making of" recording.
[the three wave at the screen, and smile]
[they stop waving]
Shawn: Well, shall we enter the elevator?
Shade: Yes. Let's.
[they enter the elevator, and ride it upwards]
[it's super dramatic as they ride it upwards]
[the elevator reaches the top, and they get off]
All: *gasp*
Chapter 4: Hotel Plot Twist, Room Too Many
[JOE is there, and he's the only one there]
Shade: Hello, JOE.
JOE: You did it. You activated the three generators.
Shade: Yeah, no thanks to YOU. What did you need them for?
JOE: Didn't I tell you already? We're assaulting this tower.
Shawn: But, you're the only one in here!
Shade: Calm down, dad. Let me handle this. ...Hotel Dusk style.
[cut to a sideways DS, Shade is on the left screen, JOE on the right]
Shade: Why are we here?
JOE: What do you mean? You're assaulting the ****ing tower, I already told you.
Shade: ...I thought we were prisoners of war.
JOE: What? Where'd you get an idea like that?
[a triangle-shaped icon appears on the left screen; the player presses it]
Shade: I got the idea from...
[two options appear, "You told us." and "Someone else told us." the player chooses option 2]
Shade: ....someone else.
Shawn: Uh... Shade, you feelin' all right?
SJR: Yeah, I mean, it was JOE who told us.
Shade: No, it was Therjak. And, obviously, this guy isn't Therjak.
JOE: Therjak? Who the hell is THAT?
Shade: Why, Therjak is YOU. Your Dalek form.
JOE: I'm not a-- I mean, oh, right! Yes, I simply forgot.
Shade: Right.
[the words, "Who is this guy?" float across the top of the screen, followed by a question mark in a red box]
Shade: So, what, exactly, are we supposed to be... assaulting?
JOE: This one guy. He's coming.
[a triangle-shaped icon appears on the left screen; the player presses it]
Shade: "This one guy?" Do you mean...
[two options appear, "The Daleks?" and "...JOE?"; the player chooses option two]
Shade: Do you mean JOE?
JOE: Ye--no! No. I mean...
Shade: You mean JOE.
JOE: No! No, I don't!
[the words, "Why is he waiting for JOE?" float across the top of the screen, followed by a question mark in a red box]
[fade to black, fade-in to a side-ways DS, JOE is on the right, while three options are on the left]
["What is JOE?" "Who are you?" "Why are you waiting for JOE?"; the first is chosen]
Shade: Tell me... do you know what JOE really is?
JOE: Yeah, he's a c--I'm a chao.
Shade: You're a chao? Hmm...
[the second is chosen]
Shade: Who could you be? Wait, no, let me guess...
[two options appear, "Another Beta Avenger," and "a chao," option one is chosen]
Shade: You are another Beta Avenger.
JOE: Another? Dude, there are only four of us.
Shade: I know. So, you must be......... hmm... there's only one possibility.
JOE: Yeah, and it's JOE.
Shade: No, no.... that's impossible. The only possibility is Echo.
JOE: Wha-huh?
SJR: What are you talking about?
Shawn: Yeah, I mean... Echo? He died in that explosion!
Shade: So did Dark, but you saved him.
Shawn: Actually, I didn't... he just escaped.
Shade: Well, that increases the chances of Echo being alive!
JOE: ....all right, ALL RIGHT, I'm Echo! So what?
[the dark matter suit dissolves, revealing Echo, the Dark/Fly chao with lots of condor parts]
Shawn: But... why would you dress up as JOE?
Echo: ....
Shade: Hmm...
[the player chooses the third option]
Shade: Why are you waiting for JOE, anyway?
Echo: I'm not gonna just say it like that!
Shade: All right, then... I'm gonna guess it.
[two options appear, "You were gonna make a deal." and "You were gonna kill him." The second option is chosen]
Shade: You were gonna kill him. You were waiting in ambush for him. ...which is why he sent us here first.
Echo: !!! Damn... you're good. Then again, you DID come from the MILKMAN...
[dramatic camera angles on both screens]
Echo: All right. You win. I'll talk.
?: Yeah, you'd better.
Chapter 5: Who is Therjak?
[Therjak appears behind them]
Shade: ...
Echo: Whoa, who the hell is that?
SJR: That's the REAL JOE, or "Therjak."
Echo: Yikes! I'd better start talking, then.
Therjak: INDEED.
Echo: Alright.

I escaped from the explosion at the stadium with Dark, and we went our seperate ways. I spent some time thinking about whose side I really am on. Do I hate chao? Or do I hate the Beaten Graves?

Shade: Wait, wait, wait. Beaten Graves?
Shawn: It's the official name we came up with for just us four. You know, MILKMAN, JOE, Echo, and Tagliare.
Shade: Oh. Continue.
Echo: Thank you.

I realized that I hated the Beaten Graves more than anything else. JOE tried to kill me CONSTANTLY! It just.. didn't work. So, I dug up some dirt, and found that he'd be going here soon. So, I came to this run-down place, and waited. Of course, I stole his dark-matter suit, which he, strangely, wasn't wearing.

Shade: But, he found out you were here, which is why he sent us to assault the control tower.
Shawn: Yeah, something just doesn't add up here.
SJR: How did you find out about his plan to go here, again?
Echo: Oh, that?

He... kinda... saw me. While I was digging up the dirt on him. So, I ran away to here, and stole his suit, and I guess that's how he--

["OBJECTION!!!" appears on-screen as Shade shouts it]
Shade: If he saw you, and you stole his suit, you'd know he was a Dalek! And yet you just proved to us that you weren't aware of this fact!
Echo: Um...
[Echo looks at Therjak, who aims his gun at him]
Echo: I... forgot?
Shade: Hmm...
[Shade bangs a random gavel]
Shade: I have come to my conclusion, everyone. In fact, I believe that pretty much anyone with a BRAIN can come up with this.
SJR: ...what?
Shawn: Yeah, I have no idea what you mean.
Shade: JOE is obviously NOT a Dalek.
Shade: Oh, really?
Shade: One, when asked of your creator, you said you weren't created. Two, your vocabulary is very... un-Dalek.
Shade: And the icing on the cake, THREE, Echo stole your suit, which means he'd have seen your Dalek form. But, he didn't.
SJR: Hey, yeah! And he said you chased him away! Or something close to that.
Therjak: ...
Shade: One last thing. I found a computer near Generator C which had a complicated code in it.
Therjak: wai.
Shade: Ya wai. The code, so far, reads "JOE is," but I can't decipher the last word.
SJR: And what about the times when you spoke normal? Like just now?
Therjak: IT..IS....A VIRUS WE DALEK GET. .......OkAy?
Shawn: And you HAVE acted very, VERY strange back when we were partners.
Therjak: STIll... noT... ENOugh...PROOF.
Shade: I bet that, when we decipher that code, you'll be finished.
Shade: Try me.
Chapter 6: WHAT THE ****?!
Shade: I happened to write down the code. Here it is.
Shade: I managed to get this far.
JOE is E61i
[MINIGAME! Time to try it out]
Shawn: Okay, so what's the details?
Shade: Each word had a different rule. The first was, on a QWERTY keyboard, the letter to the RIGHT.
SJR: So... HIW was JOE. Got it.
Shade: The second was the letter to the LEFT.
Echo: In that case, OD translates to IS. Right.
Shade: Now, this last word...
Echo: Let's try the letter below it.
Shade: Nope. And I doubt above will work, since above the numbers are F1-12.
Shawn: Hmm... how about below by 2?
Shade: Heh. I doubt it. But, yeah, let's give it a try.
Shade: No way.
SJR: No.
Shawn: Impossible.
Echo: What? What's impossible?
Shade: It reads.... "Cham."
Echo: What's that mean?
Shade: Cham... was the chao who died. After the first episode.
Echo: WHAT THE ****, MAN!? WHAT THE ****!?
Therjak: I told you it would break your heart.
[the Dalek suit melts, revealing a Neutral chao with a helluva lotta scars]
Shade: But... but... why? Why? WHY!?
Cham: "Why?" You want to know WHY? You killed me, Shade. You and Chao.
Shawn: Then, why were you after Dark?
Cham: I'm getting to that.

Episode 1... Chao in Space. Shade and Chao got into a fight in the Lobby, and I tried to break it up. I got killed in the fight. That's right. I got killed in the fight. Episode 23... Return of the Daleks. Chao used "Thriller" to revive every fallen person. I was revived. However, I was in a grave at the time, and couldn't get out. I spent a long, long, LONG time thinking.

["OBJECTION!!!" appears on-screen as Shawn shouts it]
Shawn: But... but we set the Beta Avengers up episodes before that!
Cham: Ah, yes, you DID, didn't you?

But, you, believe it or not, forgot me. You believed that I started it FOR you. No, I didn't. I was DEAD. D-E-A-D, DEAD. Perhaps the one who helped you was Echo in the JOE costume? I was buried underground, in a ****ing COFFIN. When Shade revived everyone, I, like I said, did some thinking. Wanna know how I got out of the coffin? Shawn dug me out after Mephiles sent you morons to the Chao World. He dug me up, and we talked business.

["HOLD IT!!!" appears on-screen as Shade shouts it]
Shade: But... that would mean...
Cham: Shawn knew? No. He didn't. I sort of lied.

We didn't actually TALK. He just dug me up. I presume he was going to do something, but someone drove him off. At least I was finally at the surface. Then, I found out that the Daleks drove him off. They talked to me... showed me their way of things. They even fixed me up with my own Dalek machine. I thanked them, but they told me there was a catch. I had to kill every chao in existance. They knew I was someone who hated both Dark and Hero chao... and wouldn't mind killing them off. I told them that they'd know I was bad if they saw I was a Dalek, so they let me wear my dark matter suit. JOE was back in business.

Shade: Man, this is really confusing.
Shawn: Which, I suppose, is a good thing. More confusion means more chances to kill us.
Cham: And more confusion also means more plot holes, which allows for more bending of the script.
Shawn: Avatar: The Last Scriptbender.
[pause; cough]
Chapter 7: Clearing It Up
Shade: So, let's try to figure out what's happened.

-We killed Cham by accident, and buried him.
-BETA: Someone called "JOE," and the MILKMAN kidnapped the Poker Gang.
-REAL: Someone called "JOE," and the MILKMAN set up the Beta Avengers.
-The Daleks killed everyone except Chao.
-Chao healed everyone, including Cham, who spent some time in his grave, thinking.
-Mephiles shipped us off to Chao World.
-In our absense, the MILKMAN dug Cham up for some unknown reason, and the Daleks drove him off.
-The Daleks talked with Cham, and gave him a Dalek suit. He also put on his JOE suit.
-He joined the Beta Avengers, and vowed to kill us all.

Shade: Is that about right?
Cham: Yes.
SJR: I think the question now is... why'd the MILKMAN dig Cham up, and why'd Echo disguise himself?
Echo: I know I only disguised myself to get some benefits as MILKMAN's partner. Then, when JOE came back, I shut right up.
Shawn: As for me... I dug him up to see if Thriller revived him.
Echo: And?
Shawn: His eyes were open. Still, that didn't prove anything. Now, THIS does.
Cham: It had better.
Shade: So now what? You gonna finish your job, and kill us?
Cham: Perhaps. I know I WANT to.
Shawn: Look, Cham... we can talk about this.
Cham: NO, WE CAN'T! You don't know how much pain and suffering I've been through!
Shade: Wait, one last question. How'd you survive the poisonous water?
Cham: I didn't actually DRINK any of it. I just pretended to. And then, I waited until the Pillar of Autumn picked you up before I got back up.
Shade: I see.
Cham: ...
[Cham calls for backup]
Shawn: No!
Cham: Yes. I did. Soon, those Daleks will be in here, frying your butts.
Echo: You rotten little...
Cham: Farewell! Or, rather, DON'T.
[Cham jumps out the window]
Shawn: ......he's an idiot.
Shade: Yeah, he pretty much just commited suicide there. We're very high up.
[suddenly, they hear banging on the door]
Shade: O snap!
Echo: Forget about you guys; I'm jumping!
[Echo jumps out the window, and starts flying]
Echo: Luckily, I can fly. What the?
[the others grabbed onto his feet, and are riding along]
Echo: Get offa me!
Shade: And die? No thanks!
Echo: You're too heavy! I'm going down!
[Echo descends down to the planet's surface]
SJR: least we survived... ow...
Shade: Looks like we're not the only ones! Look!
[Cham had landed on a matress the Daleks put there in case somebody jumped out the window]
Cham: I see you escaped. Very well... I'll just have to finish you myself.
Shade: Cham... easy now... remember all the good times we had?
Cham: WHAT good times? I'm a Neutral chao! I'm not even on your side!
Shade: need to yell.
Chapter 8: It's the Final Countdown! Doo-do-DOO-doo.... Doo-do-DOO-DOO-DOO!
[Cham charges forward, and is blocked by Echo]
Cham: Echo... I never liked you.
Echo: I know. You tried to have me killed before I even joined the Beaten Graves.
Cham: Nontheless, I shall keep on trying until I succeed.
[they get into a very intense fight]
[Echo takes to the skies, but somehow, Cham manages to jump high enough to knock him down]
Cham: Didn't I tell you? The Daleks trained me in a lot of crazy fighting styles.
[Echo is unconscious; next up is Shade Junior]
Cham: Hello, Junior. I never got the chance to properly meet you. I'm Cham.
SJR: ...
Cham: Not very social? Good. This'll be the last time you HAVE TO BE!
[Cham charges, and gets into another intense fight]
[Junior puts on his Tour Guide costume (robe and stilts), and pulls out a minigun]
SJR: Die, Cham.
Cham: I already have. It's not fun. Now YOU try.
[Cham knocks Junior's stilts away, and he falls onto the ground]
[Junior is somehow unconscious from that; Shawn's next]
Cham: Shawn, Shawn, Shawn... when will you learn?
Shawn: I'll learn when you shut the **** up and DIE already!
Cham: Try again.
[another intense fight]
[Shawn manages to knock Cham down to the ground]
Shawn: Now, Shade! Finish him!
Shade: Uhh... okay!
[Shade runs for the kill, but Cham gets up and fires a random rocket launcher]
Shade+Shawn: *gasp*
[Shawn dives in the way, and takes the explosion]
Shade: D..DAAAD!
Shawn: ..................
Shade: Dad, speak to me...
Shawn: ......ugh... *cough*...
[Shawn goes unconscious]
Cham: I suppose persistency runs in the family. Luckily, I've got enough ammo for all of you. *reloads*
Shade: You monster...
Cham: The world's filled with monsters, kiddo. You'll learn that in the next few seconds you have to live.
Shade: ...but... what about my Gray Journey?
Cham: Oh, PLEASE. Your little gray journey? All you did was kill Tagliare, and learn to swim. Which, by the way, most people learn at SIX. How old are you now? Twenty-two? Wow.
[Shade just angrily stares at Cham]
Cham: What's wrong? Cat gotcher tongue? Or are you thinking s'more? Really, kid, you LOVE to think, don'tcha?
Shade: ....
Cham: If only thinking could save you here.
Shade: ....
Cham: That's it, I'm through talking to you. *aims rocket launcher* Time for action.
[dramatic camera angles]
[fade to black]