Meet the Delta Squad
A short based on DCA, Gears of War, and Team Fortress 2.
I: "Meet the Sniper"
[a clip plays of a robot walking in the streets, on patrol]
[the robot is humming cheefully]
[suddenly.... BANG! The robot is shot in the head]
[the camera turns to show an alley; a green Dark chao in an army suit is aiming a sniper rifle]
[the camera cuts to the green Dark chao, "Shadow," sitting in a chair in the alley]
Shadow: Yeah, man, being in Delta Squad is great, man. The others are so nice!
[a clip plays of a Dark chao tripping Shadow]
Shadow: Huh? Why are we here, on Earth, in the future? Gee, it's been a while.... at least fourteen hours. I can't remember.
[Shadow scratches his head, and asks for another question]
Shadow: .....no, I'm not the boss of our group. Shade is. ...the future Shade. The guy from this time. He's cool, but... he focuses too much on the point.
?: "Too much on the point," Private?
Shadow: ...that's him, isn't it?
[the camera nods]
[the camera cuts to later in the interview]
Shadow: Sniping? Nah, man, I suck at sniping. That robot I shot was, like, with the fifitieth bullet I fired. Today.
[Shadow sighs deeply]
Shadow: Really, I'm only the sniper of our group because the other three can't snipe, either. If one of those robot guys were to be good at sniping, I'd be screwed! But, like that'd ever happen, huh?
[the camera fades to black]
II: "Meet the Leader"
[fade-in at a skirmish between Delta Squad and a squad of robots]
[the chao run in weird army directions while an old, gray Dark chao gives them orders]
[cut to after the battle; the chao, "Shade (Future)," is sitting in a chair in the battlefield; the others are messing around in the background]
ShadeF: Delta Squad? Is that what they're calling it now? For me, it's called, "life."
[ShadeF reaches off-screen, and pulls out a cowboy hat; he puts it on]
ShadeF: Unlike the others, I'm used to the robots. They come by my home in the Dark Garden every now and then, screwing things up. O' course, old Darkmondayz scares 'em off every time.
[ShadeF reaches off-screen, and pulls out a shotgun]
ShadeF: This.... is Darkmondayz. My weapon of choice. I was handed this by my future self. Back when I was young. Thirty years younger.
[the cameraman asks him something]
ShadeF: .....will I give the new Shade this shotgun? Hell, no! *laugh* The kid's pretty sharp. Twenty-two, and he can already operate a banshee, a Banshee, an SUV, a hybrid, or your mother. *chuckle* I was pretty awesome back then.
[another question]
ShadeF: Yeah.... I'm fifty-two. What's it to ya? ...yes, I'm the boss of the group. I like being the leader.
[one more question]
ShadeF: WHAT? I am not getting rusty! In fact, I could probably kill Metal Sonic right now! Yeah! After all, not even the robot's dumb enough to bring a knife to a gunfight.
[fade to black]
III: "Meet the Scout"
[fade-in inside a building; Delta Squad is kicking back and relaxing; a regular Dark chao is constantly pressing down the switch on a toaster]
[cut to the Dark chao, "Dark," in a chair in the building]
Dark: So, yeah, Delta Squad's pretty fun. Getting to shoot robots alongside Shade.... it rocks.
[a question is asked]
Dark: No, not the leader. The other Shade. The one from..... y'know, the... what's the word? ...the past. Yeah.
[another question]
Dark: We got to the future because Shade wanted to play hooky from school again. He told me to get everyone to the school's basement, and to get them into this time machine.
[the cameraman says something]
Dark: Yep, they exist. What, you never wondered why kids who go into a school basement never come out again?
[another thing]
Dark: .....good point. I mean, I'm, like, twenty-three, and I'm still in Pre-School. Then again, those are, like, dog years, or something. ....wait, no, CHAO years. In human years, we're about... a few hours old. Not literally. We've been through too much for that to be true.
[a clip of Dark and Shade going to McDonald's plays]
Dark: As for my job... I'm more of a scat person. .....I mean, scout. I prefer to scout the streets ahead, and kill stuff. I'm also a toaster doctor. Wanna see my degree?
[the camera shakes (as in, "no")]
Dark: Of course, there are some times too scary for me to scout. Like during the night.... seriously, if you hang around this place when nightfall comes, you'd better bring your will with you. Also, in corridors where it looks like a boss is gonna come out and jump at you.
[the cameraman say one last thing]
Dark: I suppose the chances of a giant, killer, blind, bloodthirsty thing breaking through a wall, and bashing my skull open are pretty slim.
[fade out]
IV: "Meet the Cool Dude"
[fade-in when the Delta Squad is exploring a dark hallway; sweat dripping down their faces]
[or, rather, just a gray Dark chao and Dark]
[the gray Dark chao, "Shade," is in the middle of something, so the interview had to be done while they're exploring the hallway]
Shade: ...shh. If you have to ask me something, ask it quietly. Just trust me on this one.
[the cameraman asks something]
Shade: Yeah, Dark was right. We came through a time machine. I noticed the Dark Garden was on fire again, so I checked it out. Future me says Metal took over Earth, so that's where we went. Of course, as soon as we got there, the robots arrested me. Then, Dark saved me, and our newest adventure starts.
[another question]
Shade: Future me and Shadow? They're, uh.................
Dark: Unavailable.
Shade: Yeah. Unavailable.
[another]
Shade: We're just..... exploring this hallway. Not......... anything else.
Dark: Ask another question.
[another]
Shade: I suppose being in Delta Squad is all right. I mean, so far. Shooting robots... running from robots.... bombing robots.... stuff like that. But, right now.....
Dark: It sucks.
Shade: Quite.
[yet another]
Shade: *sigh* Dude, let me simply say I don't want to tell you what we're doing.
Dark: You can tell 'em a bit.
Shade: Fine. We're saving Alpha Squad's butts.
[another one]
Shade: "From what?" You ask a lot of questions, dude.
[another]
Shade: Well, I'm the guy who saves everyone. I also operate some heavy machinery, drive any vehicles except helicopters, and currently am the leader of the group.
[yep, another]
Shade: I said I'm the leader?
Dark: Whoops.
Shade: Yeah, whoops. Just..... stop asking me questions. I always end up saying too much.
[one more]
Shade: M--.....nope! Not saying anything! But, I will tell you we've already run into Metal Sonic. It was around..... two minutes ago.
Dark: With that info, and the information we assume you gathered from the previous production update, you have the material to deduce where we are in the video game.
Shade: Yeah, and Dark randomly talks smart. But, he's pretty much right.
[a rumble is heard; Shade and Dark stop moving, and look around frantically]
Dark: Do you see him?
Shade: No........ but, the rumble came from in this hallway. Wanna check it out?
Dark: NO.
Shade: Dark, what if he's tricking us, and is actually down that hallway?
Dark: ......let's explore this hallway, then.
Shade: Good Dark.
[Shade and Dark walk into the hallway, but the camera doesn't]
[you hear them walking, and hear a loud "CRASH!!!!!!!"]
Both: HOLY ****!!!!
Shade: (whispering) Dark. Stay. Still.
?: RAWR! I CAN SMELL CHAO!!! DARK CHAO!!!
Dark: H...how can you smell us? You're.... you're a robot!
?: I WAS UPGRADES SO THAT I WOULD BE ABLE TO SMELL AND TASTE. But... I lost my sight.
Shade: Dark, I recommend you don't talk to him.
?: And why not? .......SHADE?
[Shade gulps; the cameraman puts the camera down and runs into the hall to help them]
[STOMP STOMP STOMP]
[PUNCH! A disturbing "crack" sound is heard as the cameraman is seen flying out the hallway, and hits the wall, dead and covered with blood]
?: Hm? Ew. His skull is still in my fist. *toss*
[his skull flies out the hallway, hits the wall, bounces towards the camera, and stops right next to it]
[the screen fades to black except for the skull]
[a cog shape surrounds the skull]
DCA Halloween Special 2: Gears n' Roses, coming October 31, 2008. It'll scare the **** outta you.
?: Stupid cameraman messed up the shot. Can we cut this, and re-do the scene?
[complete fade to black]
END
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