Tuesday, April 20, 2010

This is a Press Release Document

Presenting a new script from the creator of Pelottaa Scary Stuff and Gears n' Roses...

Dark Chao Adventures Halloween 2010: Slender Nightmares of the Subterranean

For Halloween this year, the chao won't have time to celebrate... for it will take place right smack dab in the middle of Season Seven! Tale One will involve a serious threat taken right from the darkest corners of the internet... and Tale Two will send the chao deep underground, where claustrophobia is not the only thing our 'heroes' will have to fear.

Some chaos drives simply aren't worth getting...

Coming October 31st, 2010

More information to come.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Somewhere.... beyond the sea! Somewhere, waiting for me...

What happened last time on DCA?
Shadow, the green Dark chao, is the star. He must get seven green chaos drives.
Shade, Dark, and Red are helping him.
They need the chaos drives in order to stop the Veteran's Committee from ending the show.
Of course, the Veteran's Committee has sorta... hired Shadow to get the drives for their own gain.
Last time we checked on him, Shadow had just acquired his second chaos drive.
Let's find out where Shadow's adventures will take him next, today on...

Season Seven: The End (aka Season Six part two)
Episode Sixty-four: SHOCKED!!! (A Riveting Tale of Oceanic Excitement!) part one: There's a Secret in the Sea...

Chapter 1: Somewhere, Beyond the Sea...
[cut to the void]
[the chao wake up from stasis]
Shadow: *YAAAAWWWWWWWN* Ah.. mmm... huh. Hey, guys, wake up.
[Shade, Dark, and Red wake up]
Red: I wonder where.. where we're going next.
Shadow: If my memory serves, it was something like.. the Atlantic Ocean.
Shade: Aw, geez... I can guess where this'll be.
[Levity Nite appears]
Nite: And you will undoubtedly guess wrong.
Shade: I will?
Nite: Yes. It would appear we have made a minor miscalculation as to where the next chaos drive resides.
Shadow: Really?
Nite: Yeahh.. you see, our anonymous source told us the Atlantic Ocean... but then we checked it out for ourselves.
Red: Go on.
Nite: There is a Chao Transporter at the exact coordinates we were given.
Shade: A Chao Transporter? So.. it's in the Gardens?
Nite: It seemed so. We followed our anonymous tip even further to a Chao GBA thingy.
[Shade and Dark fall silent with fear]
Shadow: Yes, and then?
Nite: A certain option was highlighted onscreen. "Goodbye."
Shadow: So.. so the next chaos drive.. is on the Chao World?
Nite: As far as we are certain, yes.
Shadow: Did you investigate any further than that?
Nite: You weren't gone that long, you know. BUT, we WERE able to find one thing out..
Shadow: Yuh-huh?
Nite: Your next chaos drive.. is somewhere in the sea.
[Levity Nite disappears]
Shade: Dude... I am NOT looking forward to this. This is the freaking CHAO WORLD we're talking about.
Dark: Land of nutjobs and half-wits...
[the void begins to dissolve; a beach slowly fades in]
[suddenly, the chao find themselves on said beach in the Chao World, surrounded by many local chao]
Shadow: Well... here we are.
Shade: Yes. Here we are.
Red: Yup.
Dark: Yep. ...HEY IT'S A BEACH
[Dark runs off, and starts playing in the ocean]
Shade: Don't bother chasing him. He'll grow tired shortly.
Dark: NO I WON'T
[Shade laughs and shakes his head]
[Shadow looks around]
Shadow: There's got to be someone who knows where the chaos drive is.
?: (Russian accent) Hey. Friend.
[the three approach a Dark chao selling ice cream]
Shadow: You mean me?
?: Yes. Call me "Ice Cream Man."
Shade: Isn't there anything else we can call you other than the seller of dairy treats?
ICM: Very well. "Ice Cream Man" is only codename, for it has same initials as Ivan Corey Mallet.
Shadow: See, Ivan Mallet is an awesome name.
Mallet: Thank you. Anyway, I hear you are looking for the... how you say.. chaos drives?
Shadow: Yes, we are. Do you happen to know where any of them are?
Mallet: As matter of fact... da. I am knowing where one is.
Red: And where's that?
[Ivan Mallet looks around for any witnesses, then he leans closer to the chao]
Mallet: There is one at bottom of ocean.
Shade: Uh.. yeah, thanks; we could figure that out.
Mallet: Ah, of course, of course. But, I am knowing more of it than you. Get your friend, and be following me.
[Ivan turns and walks into a small beach shack]
[the Darks get Dark and head into the shack]
Chapter 2: Somewhere, Waiting for Me...
Mallet: ..(Irish accent) a'ight, then. Enuff o' the Russian ****.
[Shade and Dark fall silent with fear]
Mallet: After all, I only played Russian ta fool those tourists. 'Foi showed me Oyrish self, I'd never get stuff done.
Shadow: Well, you're great with accents.
Mallet: Thank ya. Lissen, I know why yer really here... you are from the past.
Red: Wait.. what?
Mallet: Ya moight not 'av known it yerself, but.. y'air. Thirteh years.
Shade: How the heck do you know this?
Mallet: 'Cause I seen you, meself, thirteh years back. An' ain't no bloke from 'roundeer dun't know 'bout.....
[Ivan collects his thoughts]
Mallet: ....no, if you dun' know 'bout it nao, no sense tellin' you 'bout it, meself.
[he gets up and leads the chao to his garage]
[a form of plane is parked]
Mallet: Juss take this plane, yeah? Floi it out, 'bout.. mile an' two yerrrrds out.
Shadow: We'll know what we're looking for when we see it, right?
Mallet: 'Course.
[the Darks enter the plane]
Red: Aren't you coming, Mallet?
Mallet: No, oi've got me oice cream to take carev.
[Mallet leaves the garage]
Shadow: Um... anybody else feel like we were just rushed into a plane?
[a small radio in the plane turns on]
MalletRadio: Oi, mate! Couldja mebby foire the plane up an' sterrrt floin'?
Shadow: Fine, fine!
[Shadow starts the plane up, and starts flying]
[they fly over the ocean]
MalletR: I may 'av messed up a detail...
Shadow: And what is THAT?
MalletR: Yer gonna 'afta floi a good distance into the noite.
Shade: HEY, hold up, mister "Oirish man!" That wasn't part of the deal!
MalletR: I thought your deal was wif t'Vet'ran's C'mittee... not ME.
[Shade shuts up]
Shadow: *sigh* Alright... we'll do it.
MalletR: Yeah, I mean, you want that chaos droive, roite?
[the radio turns off]
Red: ...guys?
Shadow: Yeah, Red?
Red: I have a bad feeling about this mission.
Shade: *gulp* You and me, both, Red...
Shadow: MY bad feelings sink deeper and deeper... notably whenever Mallet says something.
Shade: I second that.
[hours pass]
Dark: Sh..Shade...
Shade: What's wrong, Dark?
Dark: I don't like this.
Shade: *sigh* Me, neither, Dark........ me, neither.
Red: I can't believe we're back in the Chao World. I HATE this place.
Shade: I can't believe we're thirty years in the future here.
Shadow: I can't believe we're looking for something deep in the ocean thirty years in the future here.
Dark: I can't believe it's margarine.
[more hours pass]
[night falls, and Red has taken over flying for a bit]
MalletR: 'Ow ya 'oldin' up?
Red: *yawn* I'm... getting tired.
MalletR: Cerrrful, Red. Don't want you fallin' asleep at the wheel, nao...
[the radio turns off]
Red: I'm NOT gonna... *yawn* ...fall asleep... at the wheel...
Chapter 3: My Lover Stands on Golden Sands...
[cut to Shadow's POV, sitting in his seat, legs crossed]
Shadow: My parents always used to tell me, "Son... you're gonna grow up to do great things."
[he pulls a lollipop out of his mouth]
Shadow: Well.... they were right.
[suddenly, Red dozes off at the wheel]
[the plane plummets down to the ocean]
[Shadow blacks out]
[a few seconds later, Shadow wakes up underwater]
[he looks around and sees the debris from the plane sinking]
[he quickly swims to the surface]
[at the surface, he breaths heavily, and looks around for the others]
Shadow: GUYS?! *pant pant* Guys? You there?!
Shade: KID!
[amidst the fire and crashed plane, Shadow notices Shade swimming nearby]
Shade: C'MON!
[Shadow swims over to Shade; on the way, he finds the radio and grabs it]
[Dark and Red find their way to Shade, as well]
Dark: Shade.. I'm scared.
Shade: I don't blame you, Dark.
Red: Shade.... where.. where do we go now?
Shadow: Guys! Look!
[Shadow points at a lighthouse nearby]
Red: That's strange. Why is a lighthouse out in the middle of the ocean?
Shadow: Who cares? It's solid ground.
[they swim to the lighthouse and ascend some stairs, out of the water]
[Shadow tries the radio]
Shadow: Mallet? *hits radio* ...Mallet, do you read?
Shadow: Guess the radio's out. Maybe we should check out what's in here?
Shade: ..fine.
[they enter the lighthouse, and find it pitch black]
Shadow: Hello? Anyone here?
[the door behind them closes]
Red: Wha?
[the lights turn on, revealing a giant statue in the center of the room]
[it is of a Dark chao, standing proudly]
[a banner hangs across it, reading "NO GODS OR KINGS. ONLY CHAO. -Andrew Ryder"]
Shade: This can't be happening.
Dark: I think I'm gonna cry.
Shadow: What? What can't be happening?
Shade: I.... I....... I'll tell you later.
[they head down some stairs and find some form of orbular submarine]
Shadow: Terrible description.
Red: I wonder what's inside?
Shade: *sigh*
[they head into the sphere, and find a lever]
Dark: ...
Shade: ...
Red: .....anybody gonna pull it?
Shadow: I guess I will.
Shade: Before you do... are.. are you SURE you wanna go through with this?
Shadow: Well, it's the only way to get the next chaos drive.
Shade: ..fine. Fine. Go.
[Shadow pulls the lever; the plexiglass door to the sphere slams shut]
Shadow: Oh, boy.
[the sphere descends into the water, down a very large tunnel]
[they pass various signs listing how many fathoms beneath the sea they are]
[40... 400...... 400,000...]
[a screen comes down in front of the window, and a projector activates]
[on the screen is the Dark chao depicted on the statue]
["From the desk of Andrew Ryder" is written on the bottom of the screen]
[a recording of a voice plays]
Ryder: I am Andrew Ryder, and I am here to ask you a question: is a chao not entitled to the sweat of his brow?
[the chao listen to the recording with great intent]
Ryder: "No," says the chao in the Chao World, "it belongs to the poor."
[dramatic close-up shots of the chao, and.. insert more filler]
Ryder: "No," says the chao in the Hero Garden, "it belongs to the Hero Chaos."
[Shade chuckles at this; "That IS what they say.."]
Ryder: "No," says the chao in the Dark Garden, "it belongs to everyone."
[Shade then quickly shuts up, and looks around nervously]
Ryder: I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible! I... chose...
[the picture switches off; the screen retracts into the ceiling, revealing what's out the window]
[there is a breathtaking city stationed at the bottom of the ocean; neon lights and skyscrapers are everywhere]
[no streets, though; the buildings are connected by sealed-off walkways]
[thousands of fish are seen swimming around; even a whale is seen]
Ryder: ...Euphoria. A city where the artist would not fear the censor.
[Shadow smiles at this comment]
Ryder: Where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality.
[Red smiles at this]
Ryder: Where the great would not be constrained by the small.
[Shade lets a small smirk out, then quickly hides it as a sense of familiarity strikes him]
Ryder: And with the sweat of your brow, Euphoria can become your city, as well.
[the recording switches off as the sphere floats towards a building]
Shadow: This place is amazing!
Shade: We really shouldn't be here.
Red: This city is astounding!
Dark: This place is really familiar.
Shade: Dark's right. This is all from Bioshock.
Dark: No, I mean... the.... something about this place... gives me a bad vibe. A familiar one.
[Dark walks up to the window, and scans the scenery]
Dark: I keep.. expecting... to see... someone.
[Shadow's radio activates]
Shadow: Whoa, finally, a signal!
MalletR: But the whole loitehowse is set off loike 'ellfoire. ..looks like some koind of plane crash.
?R: We're in the middle of the Chat Ocean. How could it--
MalletR: Dunno. You'd best get over there-- and be quick about it; the sploicers are comin'.
(Okay, fine, I won't toipe out the Oirish accent no more. :P)
?R: You've got to be kidding. How do you even know anybody's even coming?
MalletR: 'Cause we've got one o' them bathyspheres on its way down; we've got company.
?R: O..okay. Just one more minute. The sphere.. the sphere is coming up now.
MalletR: Johnny, security's banging all over-- get a move on!
[the bathysphere (submarine thing) surfaces inside a building (and.. airlocks n' stuff, so there's air inside)]
Chapter 4: And Watches the Ships that Go Sailin'...
[the chao look out the window and see complete darkness, save for the occasional flash of light, showing figures]
Johnny: Please, lady... I didn't mean to trespass. You can have my gun, just don't kill me, please!
[FLASH-- a chao brutally murders another chao]
[the chao can just about make out the shadow of an.. odd chao]
Chao?: ........is it someone NEW?
[the chao screams, then hops away]
MalletR: Boy? Boy, you there?
Shadow: Um.. yes, I'm here, Mallet. Are you.. are you.. here, in the city?
MalletR: No, but Johnny told me of the plane crash, an' I'm on me way there now.
Shadow: That's good! Yes, that's very good.
MalletR: I don't know how you survived that plane crash, but.. lissen.. I aim to keep you alive.
Shadow: Thank you.
MalletR: Step out of the bathysphere. We're gonna draw her out.
Shadow: Wait, draw WHO out?
MalletR: The sploicer.
Shadow: Um.. okay.
[Shadow creeps out of the bathysphere]
Chao?: I'm gonna wrap you in a sheet.
[Shadow looks around; the female chao leaps at him]
[the chao is then instantly shot at by a turret defense system and killed]
MalletR: Now, couldja mebby grab a crowbar or summin'? You'll want a weapon.
[Shade finds a wrench and grabs it]
Shade: Lost in Bioshock. May as well make the most of it, yeah?
Shadow: Good, you're lightening up to things.
Shade: Yeah... I s'pose I AM.
Dark: I'm not...
Shade: Sheesh, Dark, will you chill? You've been freaking out ever since we started this mission.
Dark: But.. but this isn't good. I swear, this place is so familiar.
Shadow: Please calm down, Dark. Everything'll be okay.
Shade: Yeah, there's no way this can be any worse than Bioshock.
Red: Um.. Veteran's Committee, Shade.
Shade: ..............****!!! I had completely forgotten!
Shadow: Guys, we don't have time to debate about how bad things will get. We have to move on.
MalletR: Yes, please do, boys.
Shade: Fine! Fine. Let's hurry and get this done with.
[they enter the next room, and find the exit is having some technical difficulties]
Shadow: Great. We're stuck in here 'til we find a way to jump start a door.
Red: Maybe we can find something up these stairs?
[they head up some stairs]
[a vending machine is there; at the hatch.. thing of the machine is a syringe filled with blue liquid]
Dark: I call "not it."
Shade: Not it.
Shadow: Not it!
Red: Hey, now that's not fair. You're the Green One. You HAVE to be it.
Shadow: I hate you.
[Shadow grabs the syringe and injects himself with it]
Shadow: GUH! Ah, I always hated taking shots. Stings a little. At least it's over n--
[Shadow falls over; he gets up and grips his arm in pain]
Shadow: ****!!!! Ahh! Ahhhh! Ohhhhh... aahhhhhh!
[his arm turns blue]
MalletR: Steady now! Your genetic code is being rewritten! Just hold on and everything will be fine!
Shadow: WHAAAT?!
[he runs to a balcony and jumps off of it]
[THUD! .....silence]
[the other chao stand awkwardly for a moment before heading down the stairs]
[Shadow is lying on the ground, arm throbbing; sparks are flying from it]
MalletR: You alright, boy?
Shadow: *cough* Ugh.... just about.
MalletR: First time Arrem's a real kick from a mule. But there's nothin' like a fistful of fury, is there?
Shadow: "Arrem?"
MalletR: Yeah, Arrem. It's a type of Remtal.
Shadow: "Remtal?"
MalletR: Oi, no need ta make fun o' me accent. I dunno how to really pronounce it.
Shadow: Ah, whatever. What does this Arrem do?
MalletR: That particular Arrem makes it so you can shoot lightning out of your fist.
Shadow: ...that has got to be the coolest thing ever.
[Shadow shoots the exit that is having technical difficulties]
[it opens]
Shadow: Well, that's pretty damn useful!
[they move on to a small plexiglass hallway connecting two buildings]
[out one window, in another hallway, is a tall hooded figure leading a small faceless chao]
[our heroes stand in awe]
Dark: I.. don't.. like... this place.
[they keep moving on, and enter the next building]
[inside, a crazy male chao (wearing a mask) charges at them]
MalletR: A sploicer! Zap 'em, then whack 'em! The one-two punch! Remember! The one-two punch!
[Shadow zaps the chao, then Shade whacks him; he dies]
[they move through the building, killing some sploicers, then they enter an elevator and ride it up]
MalletR: I've made it to Euphoria. I tried to make it through a back door, but it's.. locked.
Shadow: You want us to unlock it, right?
MalletR: Yeah. 'S over at the Entertainment Center, "Neptunes R Us."
Shadow: Hm. Neptunes R Us.
MalletR: Lissen.. I know you must feel like the unluckiest chao in the world right now...
Shadow: A little bit, yeah. And Dark's fears don't really help.
MalletR: You're my only hope to get in there.
Shadow: Why do you want to get in here?
MalletR: I know how to get you the chaos drive.
Shadow: ...it's a deal, Mallet.
[they reach the top of the elevator]
[a shadow is cast from around the next corner-- a female chao is sobbing over a baby's pram]
Shade: Alright, Shadow, on the count of three, you're gonna zap her.
Shadow: Why? She's obviously lost her baby.
Shade: "Obviously" doesn't count for **** anymore, buddy. C'mon. One.. two... three!
[they hop around the corner, zap, then whack the chao]
[inside the pram was a pistol]
MalletR: Arrem changed everythin'. It destroyed our bodies.. our minds....
Shadow: I can tell.
MalletR: We couldn't handle it. Best friends butcherin' one another... babies strangled in cribs...
Shade: And replaced with pistols.
MalletR: And then there was the whole "mass sacrifice" deal every Tuesday... eah, doesn't matter.
Shade: Yeah, the whole city went to Hell.
MalletR: Boy... you don't know the half of it.
[they enter a restaurant; a neon sign says "Happy New Year 2039"]
Shadow: Hey, Mallet? What year is it?
MalletR: Well, uh.. for the sake of the story, it's 2040.
Shadow: Alright, thanks.
[next to a corpse sitting at a table is a strange device]
Shadow: What's this thing?
MalletR: If you're seein' what I think you are, try pressin' the "Play" button.
Shadow: Okay, the "Play" button...
(Diane McChaotock- New Year's Sadface)
"Well. Here I am. Alone on New Year's Eve... the silliest girl in Euphoria. Silly enough to fall in love with Andrew Ryder.
Silly enough to-- *STATIC* What? Wha? What's... what's going on? HOLY--"
[they look at the corpse once more; it is missing various limbs, and has no eyes]
Red: I wonder what happened on New Year's.
Shade: Gah! Don't say stuff like that, otherwise we'll end up finding out!
Red: But.. don't we want to?
Shade: NO!
Shadow: I think I'm with Shade this time. After our last adventure, I don't.. really.. want to threaten my life anymore.
[they explore the restaurant, killing whatever sploicers they find]
[in the women's restroom, they find another device]
(Bobby Johnson- Hole in the Bathroom)
"Yo, Flora. This is Bobby from the theater. I dunno what kinda restaurant yer tryin' to pull, but I got people complainin'
about a hole in yer bathroom wall, lettin' all the stink out! I'm tryin' to run a respectable theater, so I don't want to
have to deal with my payin' customers worryin' about the stink comin' from yer crapper. Get it fixed."
Shadow: Gotta admit, I didn't want to know that.
Red: Now hold on a second, Shadow. This hole might take us further.
Shadow: I guess...
[they search the bathrooms and find a big hole leading to a theater balcony]
Chapter 5: Somewhere, Beyond the Sea (Reprise)
[a chao is down on the ground floor, singing a childlike song and doing something to a corpse]
MalletR: Careful now... couldja mebby lower your weapon for a minute?
[Shadow glances at Shade, who lowers his crowbar]
[they carefully walk across a catwalk, observing the chao down on the ground]
Shadow: What is that guy doing?
MalletR: You think that's a chao down there? Don't be fooled. He's a Little Reaper now.
Shadow: "Little Reaper..?"
MalletR: Someone went and turned an innocent baby chao into a monster.
Shade: Right, and it's up to us to kill each and every one of them.
Shadow: K..kill them? But.. but that's wrong..
MalletR: Whatever they taught you about right an' wrong in your time... doesn't count fer much down here.
Shadow: But.. why.. why is...
MalletR: They carry Remtal.. everyone wants it.. everybody needs it.
[they make it to the other balcony, and descend some stairs]
[they enter a room with a window looking out to the Little Reaper]
[a sploicer approaches the Little Reaper]
Sploicer: Hey there, little kid... you wanna come for a ride in my van? Right this way...
[the Little Reaper screams]
Sploicer: N-no! Don't!
[a tall, hooded figure slowly walks into the room]
[it grabs the sploicer with one (cloaked) hand, and holds him up]
[the sploicer tries to shield his eyes, but ends up staring directly into the face behind the cloak]
[a red substance seeps out of the figure and into the sploicer]
[the figure drops the sploicer, whose head then explodes]
[the Little Reaper follows the figure out of the room]
[Dark screams]
Shade: C-calm down, Dark... please.
[Dark falls silent with fear]
Shadow: Mallet... Mallet, what the.. what was that?
MalletR: That was a Turgii.
Shadow: Ugh, I can't understand your freaking accent! ...sorry.
MalletR: Doesn't matter. The Little Reaper gathers Remtal, the Turgii keeps 'em safe.
Shadow: But what.. what happened to that guy?
Red: His head exploded!
MalletR: That's what happens when you touch raw Remtal. It's not always the head, and it's not always an explosion.
Shadow: Whoa... this is heavy.
MalletR: Keep movin', boy! Neptunes R Us is right around the corner!
Shadow: Right...
[they enter the next room and approach a sign that says "Neptunes R Us"]
[a gate slams shut, blocking entrance; an alarm goes off]
MalletR: DAMMIT!
Shadow: Wh..what happened?
MalletR: It's Ryder! He found us! He's blocked off exit to Neptunes! Argh, you'll have to go around!
Shadow: How?!
MalletR: There's a way through Medical! Go to Medical!
Shadow: Got it!
[they fight off some more sploicers and enter a gate that reads "Medical District"]
[they walk around a corner, and are suddenly locked in a small, dark room]
MalletR: He's trapped you! I.. I'm gonna see if I can't bypass the system, okay?
[a projector activates, showing a video of Andrew Ryder giving a monumental speech]
Ryder: Centuries ago, there existed a utopia unmatched by all others...
Many would try to enter. They would be allowed, so long as they respected the customs.
But, there would often be chao entering who were trying to rob the city of its secrets and technology.
Those people would always be met with extreme prejudice.
When I established Euphoria, circa 2026, I made sure to follow each and every example set by that city.
BUT, I chose to set some of my OWN examples... for instance: Euphoria would be a utopia.. in an unthinkable place.
Where on Chao World could I possibly place a city that no other city has been?
Then I got it. Euphoria wouldn't be a NEW utopia...
It would be an OLD one, brought to NEW life by one simple change.
In the year of 2018, I became President of Darku, and my first order of business was to secretly work on Euphoria.
The Tlekozamfa was to be transformed into sea. You now know it as the Ryder Ocean, named after myself.
Of course, as the old fables of yore go, Tlekozamfa is old Darkonjurf for "Unthinkable Valley..."
For Tlekozamfa is the geographical location of the aforementioned ancient utopia.
I sank this valley into the sea, thereby changing the face of the planet and rendering myself an unforgettable president.
After my second term, the utopia had adjusted to its new conditions surprisingly well.
I mean that.
It looked completely untouched!
Since a good decade of clean-up and pressurization was unnecessary, I formally opened Euphoria to the public.
One day, our scientists discovered a secret lab, and a strange substance. It horrifically decapitated all who touched it.
It was later discovered that it was this substance that kept the city safe as it sunk the brimey deeps.
Scriptures were found in the labs that labelled it Red Metal.
Let me say that once more, for it sounds very powerful! Very.. proud. Red. Metal.
It was as obvious then as it is now... the founders of the ancient utopia were pure geniuses. Why, you ask?
If you mix Red Metal with sodium chloride, it becomes a gene splicing treatment!
We deemed this new substance "Remtal." It changes your genetic code so that you may better yourself in whatever you'd like.
As an example, if one were to find himself too slow, one would just apply the correct Arrem, and he would be faster.
Right, right. Remtal is the substance, itself. Arrem beefs up individual traits.
Now, on to more pressing matters. You, there. What are you doing in my city?
Who sent you? Was it the Darks? The Heroes? Or maybe the Neutrals aren't as they say they are?
Or were you perhaps sent by an... OUTSIDE source?
You will never learn the secrets of Euphoria. No negotiations.
Perhaps if you'd care to negotiate with these other people, though...
[the video switches off; a horde of sploicers are heard banging on the doors and shouting]
[the door behind them opens]
MalletR: Alright, I've opened the door! Go now! To Medical!
[the chao run into the next room and close the door]
[this room is some kind of airlock]
Shade: Guys.
Red: No.
Shadow: I don't...
Dark: ...
Shade: Guys.
Red: This isn't... this can't..
Shadow: I mean...
Dark: ...
Shade: This is much worse... than I could have ever predicted.
Red: This can't be real! This CANNOT BE REAL!
Shadow: I.. I don't know.. what is happening right now.
Dark: ...
Shade: But, dude! You were there!
Red: DCA09?
Shadow: I.. I was a minor character back then. Very minor. I don't remember anything.
Dark: ...
Shade: Dude.. let me put it in simple terms...
Red: We are all going to die.
Shade: We're dabbling with the single most INSANE city ever known.
Red: It's a wonder we haven't seen the Nomble yet.
Shade: But I'm sure we've seen the Tour Gui--
[the chao stare at Dark]
Dark: That.. THING back there wasn't my.. the Tour Guide.
Red: How can you be sure?
Dark: I.. I just know. I do.
Shadow: Can someone PLEASE tell me what is going on?
Red: Ah, we may as well.. if not for him, then at least for the readers who haven't read DCA09.
Shade: *sigh* Alright... listen. Euphoria is basically a copypasta'd version of the secretcity.
Red: The secretcity that rested deep in Chao World for ages, and killed all who entered it.
Shade: There's nothing but crazy puzzles and the occasional ominous character in here.
Shadow: Yes, but.. where ARE we?!
Dark: We're in Chao Talk!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

More tossing out.

Next episode is nearing completion. Haven't beaten the actual game yet, but.. whatever.

But... would you kindly read it once it's done? I've put a lot of effort-ish stuff into it.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Just throwing it out there.

I will begin work on the next episode once I have beaten the game it is based on. Don't worry, it won't take me long.

..though tell me..... is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


I had forgotten to post this episode. xD I made it within hours of the previous one.

Shadow is a green Dark chao. He is now the star. He has to look for seven green chaos drives.
One is in Future Europe. To get it, he must assassinate Doctor Eggman, who has taken over the world.
He has just reached the Egg Citadel (the stronghold in which Eggman resides), and is about to do some awesome stuff.

Episode Sixty-Three: Still Waiting for Half-Time part five: Time?

[cut to the top of the Egg Citadel]
[Shadow is standing on a platform, shooting energy balls into something the camera won't show]
[Shade, Future Shade, Dark and Red are watching from in a window behind him]
[they are quiet, and watching anxiously]
Shadow: I don't think I can do this... ah, here goes nothing...
[he shoots one last energy ball]
[explosions are heard]
[the window behind him breaks open, and the other four chao jump out to him and celebrate]
Red: That was... that was simply...
Red: I mean, WOW... you're...
Red: You.. you're... ah, screw it!
Shade: *chuckle* Congratulations, Shadow. You... you passed the final test. You rock.
ShadeF: You prolly deserve my shotgun for pulling off a feat like that.
Shadow: Was I really that good?
Shade: Yeah.
ShadeF: Don't get cocky or anything; we need to get the hell outta here while we've still got
[everything slows to a halt as a HUMONGOUS explosion expands (and freezes, as well)]
Echo: ...TIME..... Shadow Raid?
[Shadow looks around, still frozen in time]
Echo: Is it really that... TIME... again?
[Echo walks in on the scene, seeming to drift in through time]
Echo: It feels as if... you've.. only just.. arrrrIIIVED.
[Echo walks over to Shadow and touches him; Shadow is able to move]
Echo: You've done a.. great DEal in a small... TIME...span.
Shadow: Ugh, what, what?
[Echo unfreezes Shade, as well]
Echo: You've done SO well, in fact... that I've been offered some.. INteresting offers for your services.
Shadow: You're gonna take 'em, aren't you?
[Echo unfreezes Dark]
Echo: Ordinarily, I wouldn't contemplate them, but... these are extrAORDInary... TIMES...
[Echo unfreezes Red next]
Echo: Rather than offer you the ilLUSion of free choice, I've taken the liberty of CHOO..SING... FOR..YOU!
All: Oh, COME ON.
Shade: Typical.
[Echo unfreezes Future Shade]
Echo: If... and WHEN... your... TIME... comes 'round... again.
[Echo sorta... well, he "drifts" them to the endless void]
Echo: I must apologize to you for what must seem an.. arbitrary imposition, Shadow Raid.
Shadow: Yeah, no, no, 'salright and everything..... seriously, tell me what the **** is going on!
Echo: I trust it will all make sense to you in the COUrssse of.......
[Echo hesitates for a second]
Echo: Wellll... I'm really NOT..... at liberty to SAY.
[the chao look at each other in confusion]
[Echo begins heading away from them]
Echo: In the MEAN...TIME........ this is where I get off.
[a door of light opens in the void; Echo walks through; it closes]
Shadow: Okay, so hold up. Is it just me... or did he forget to put us in stasis?
Red: I.. I think he DID, yeah.
Shadow: Great. We're stuck just sitting around for who knows how long.
ShadeF: So, while we're here, mind telling me what happened? Like.. how you got through the Egg Citadel without dying?
Shadow: I suppose. Alright, gather around. Let's tell him how it happened.
Chapter 12: Hour Factors
[cut to Shadow in an underground passageway; he has a crowbar and a gravity gun]
[he walks to the end of the passage]
[he finds himself at a large cliffside, going down for miles; some ledges and footholds surround him]
Shadow: Whoa.. this might be a little harder than I thought. ..at least it won't be as tough as what I just went through.
[he hops down to a ledge, and walks along the ledges and footholds]
[he looks for some sort of entrance to the Egg Citadel (which is on the other side of the cliff)]
[he sees some form of metal contraption that he uses as a platform to enter a small opening]
Shadow: Sweet, I'm in!
[the small opening leads to a humongous room; the ceiling is nowhere in sight, nor is the ground below]
Shadow: So.. this is the Egg Citadel.
[the room has a "blue" feeling to it, very robotic and lifeless]
[Shadow walks along the platforms and eventually finds some form of transport system--]
[--some pods are being pulled along a rail system]
[Shadow picks a pod and climbs in]
Shadow: I probably shouldn't have done that, but.. whatever.
[the pod moves along the rails, through a passageway and into a much larger room]
[by "much larger," I mean "immensely and impossibly larger"]
[contraptions and machinery fill the room; Badniks are repairing other Badniks and Chaobine soldiers are patrolling]
[Shadow just gets a free ride, though]
[as he's moving along, other pods join the rail]
Shade: Whoa, Shadow, is that you?
Shadow: Shade?!
Dark: Me, too!
Shadow: Dark! Who else is here?
Red: Yo.
Shadow: Oh, you guys made it! How did you get here?
Shade: It's not a very long story. This, however, is a very long ride. Allow me to tell the story.
[cut to District 1 of Robotnikland 17]
[Shade, Dark, Red, Future Red, and a collection of many other chao are there]
RedF: Alright, the kid made it! Now, how are WE gonna get in?
White: Maybe we could go over the wall?
RedF: Nah, that ain't possible. Plus, there's a big trench on the other side. We'd fall and die.
Petrucci: Hm. ..well, the Badniks have to get back in there at some point, right?
Shade: ..I think John's onto something. Yeah! Let's follow some Badniks and see where they end up.
[they find a Chaobine soldier that's missing an arm]
[they hide and watch as it goes into a building]
RedF: Quick! Follow that soldier!
[they run into the building, and follow the soldier into a metallic passageway]
[the passageway takes them into an odd little room within the Egg Citadel]
Red: Alright, we're in. Now what?
Shade: I guess we should look for Shadow.
Dark: HEY GUYS LOOK it's a pod!
Senoue: What's the Pick of Destiny doing in the Egg Citadel?
Gaga: I think he means it's literally a pod.
White: Awesome, a pod! Let's climb in!
[Jack White hops in; it clamps shut and moves out of the room on a rail system]
Shade: Oh, snap! That ain't good.
Petrucci: Well, we're not seeing HIM again.
Shade: Screw you guys! I'm going in after him. Dark, Red, you guys coming?
Dark: Of course!
Red: May as well.
[the three hop in pods and follow]
RedF: .....they're dead.
Gaga: Most likely. C'mon, let's look for a SAFER way through the Egg Citadel.
Gioeli: You read my mind.
[they walk off-screen]
[cut back to Shadow, Shade, Dark, and Red in the pods]
Shade: And that's pretty much it. Jack White should be somewhere here. So keep an eye open.
[the pods take them through rooms where tripods are marching out of the citadel]
[rooms where freaky chao/Badnik hybrids are firing lasers out of their eyes to fix broken Badniks]
[rooms where razor trains are speeding out with cargo]
[eventually, once the pods go high enough, the chao are dropped off in a small room]
[White is there]
White: ohai.
Shade: Well, at least we found White.
Shadow: Yeah, but what's up with this room? There's a forcefield barring the exit.
All: Uh-oh.
[lasers fly through the air and destroy all their weapons]
Shade: MY CROWBAR! sadface
[suddenly, the lasers strike the gravity gun and spazz out]
[the gravity gun turns blue and shakes uncontrollably]
[the forcefield disappears]
[Shadow grabs the gravity gun]
Shadow: Whoa. This thing is.. highly radiated.
Shade: C'mon, the field is down! Let's charge through and kick some tail.
[they run out of the room and already Chaobine soldiers have stormed the halls]
Shadow: Crap! Outflanked!
Shade: It's a million to one, so the numbers are ALMOST even. ...ALMOST.
Shadow: What do we do?!
Shade: Use your new toy.
[Shadow pulls a trigger on the gravity gun, and the immense force from the gun pulls in a whole Chaobine soldier]
Shadow: Whoa. I like this new gravity gun.
[he shunts the soldier into the others]
Red: I think that one was a 7-10 split, dude!
Shadow: Haha, let's rock.
[they run into the next room and see an elevator]
Shadow: Onto the elevator!
[they get on; Shadow fights off the surrounding soldiers]
[Red hits a button, and the elevator goes up]
[at the top of the elevator, they get off and fight off even more soldiers]
Shadow: This is a pretty boring chapter.
Shade: Sure, it's not as exciting as "Follow Freeman," but.. it's still awesome in its own way.
[they reach another room with an elevator]
Shadow: *sigh* You know the drill.
[on the elevator, hits a button, rise up]
[suddenly, the elevator stops moving]
Red: What the?
White: I think that freaky chao/Badnik hybrid is shutting the power for the elevator.
[in the distance is a freaky chao/Badnik hybrid firing a laser at an energy ball]
Shadow: Not on my watch.
[Shadow grabs a nearby energy ball and fires it at the hybrid; it disintegrates]
[he then grabs an energy ball and fires it at the generator; the elevator resumes operation]
[as they ride up, Eggman appears on a nearby monitor]
Egg: Tell me, Shadow Raid, if you can... you have destroyed so much. What is it, exactly, that you have created?
[Shadow ponders]
Egg: Can you name even ONE THING?
Egg: ...I thought not.
[the monitor switches off]
Shade: Don't worry, dude. You'll get to shut him up.
[the elevator reaches the top; they walk through some narrow corridors]
[eventually, they reach a humongous hallway]
[the end of the hallway is too far to be seen]
Shade: Alright. This may be one of the coolest parts in any game EVER. We've gotta go through this hallway.
Shadow: That's fine. This'll be easy.
White: Even though you're the only one with a weapon?
Shadow: ..oh, right. ****.
[they enter the hallway, and start walking]
[in the distance are thousands of Chaobine soldiers (baby, normal, and Chaos)]
Shade: Go get 'em, tiger.
[Shadow grabs some empty pods that are on the walls, and he tosses them all at the soldiers]
Shadow: Steeeee-rike!
[the soldiers just keep coming]
[in the distance, a giant door opens]
[an Egg Tripod steps out (crushing tons of soldiers as it walks)]
Shadow: Awwwwww CRAP.
Shade: Dude! The orbs! Use the orbs!
[there are energy orbs scattered around]
Shadow: Of course!
[Shadow grabs an orb and fires it]
[and another]
[and one more]
[at the sight of the disintegrating tripod, the soldiers all run away]
Shadow: Wow, I wasn't expecting that reaction.
[the chao finally enter the next room]
[a giant monitor rests on the wall; Eggman's face appears on-screen]
Egg: It would seem you can topple my greatest creations quite easily. That's not advised, you know.
Shadow: Up yours, Doc!
Egg: So hostile. Hmph. You know, there ARE consequences to all your actions, right?
Shadow: Oh yeah? Like what?
[Eggman simply grins, and the monitor switches off]
White: Why do I not like the sound of that?
[behind them, Metal Sonic lands at the other end of the hallway]
[they run through some hallways, and find another pod/rail system]
Shadow: Quick, quick, get in!
[they hop in pods and are taken away]
Shadow: *pant* ****! That.. that was close.
Shade: *pant* Hoo... tell me about it.
[up ahead, pods are stopping as a scanner scans the contents]
Shadow: Uh-oh.
[their pods reach the scanners; it beeps and takes pictures of them]
[their pods go upwards into the ceiling, unlike the rest of the pods]
[the pods go up and up]
[higher and higher]
[the occasional window is seen, showing them miles above Robotnikland 17 (at sunset)]
[eventually, everything goes black]
Chapter 13: Dark Lord Energy
[Shadow's pod reaches a small room with two Chaos Chaobine standing guard]
Shadow: Wh..what?
[one guard takes his gravity gun]
Shadow: Hey! No! Don't!
[enter the future Purflee]
Shadow: Purflee? Wh..where..
PFF: Shhh. It's no use. Until you're where he wants you, there's nothing you can do.
Shadow: But.. where're the others?
PFF: They're being taken care of. I am so sorry, Shadow...
[a mechanical arm grabs the pod and carries it, following Purflee into Eggman's office]
[Eggman is talking with future Cham, who is also in a pod]
Egg: ..worlds stretched thin across the membrane where dimensions intersect... impossible to describe with our limited vocabulary!
ChamF: What I have seen is ALSO beyond words, Doctor. Genocide! Indescribable evil!
[Cham notices Shadow]
ChamF: Good Hero Chaos...
Egg: Well, well, well.. if it isn't Shadow Raid, at last.
[a guard shows Eggman the gravity gun]
Egg: What's that? Oh, just.. put it over there.
[the guard puts the gravity gun down on Eggman's desk]
Egg: You have my gratitude, Shadow Raid. First you lead me straight to the doorstep of the leader of the rebels...
Shadow: I didn't lead you there; you followed me!
Egg: ..and then you deliver YOURSELF! *chuckle* If I'd have known you'd come here, I wouldn't have bothered hunting you in the first place!
Shadow: Shut up, you swine.
Egg: Having you here insures that I can make whatever bargains I'd like with the Committee.
Shadow: You.. you want to BARGAIN with them?! You fool! They don't bargain with people; they RUIN people!
Egg: Oh, still your tongue! What would you know about them? You're only their messenger boy!
PFF: Doctor Robotnik...
Egg: Yes, Purflee?
PFF: The bargain we should be making is for Cham's life so he can continue his research!
Egg: YOU are more than eligible to continue his work, Purflee. What CHAM should do is convince that.. RABBLE in the streets to give up their efforts!
Shadow: Um.. just for the record, their efforts actually worked. I mean, I'm here.
Egg: But, he refuses to speak the words that would save them all.
ChamF: Save them? For WHAT?
Egg: If you refuse to do it for the sake of the people, perhaps you'd do it for ONE of them.
[Eggman presses a button, and in comes the future Shade in a pod]
ShadeF: Let go of me, fatso! *gasp* Shadow...
ChamF: Dammit, Eggman, you let him GO!
Egg: That is all up to YOU, my friend. Will you let your shortsightedness doom your entire people...?
[future Shade's pod joins the other two]
Egg: Or will you allow the ruler of the Dark Garden to continue being exactly that?
ShadeF: I swear, if you don't let us go, you're gonna get a face full of fist.
Egg: Shade, you have your mother's loving nature, but your father's stubbornness and incompetence.
ShadeF: How dare you even MENTION my parents, you.. you ****ing piece of...
Egg: Hohohoh! I wonder how well you'd fare on the other side of one of our interdimensional portals?
ChamF: Very well, Eggman, if that's the worst you can do, then send us BOTH through your portal.
Egg: Oh, it's hardly the worst I can do.. but you might find that hard to believe once you get there.
PFF: This isn't necessary!
Egg: Ah, I agree, it's a total waste. Fortunately, the rebels have shown they are ready for a NEW leader...
[Eggman walks up to Shadow]
Egg: And this one has proved to be a fine pawn for those who control him.
ShadeF: Don't listen to this ***hat, kid!
Egg: What will it be, Shadow? Did you realize that your contract was open to the highest bidder?
ShadeF: Shadow'd NEVER make any kind of deal with the likes of you!
Egg: I'll send your friends away so we can discuss this in private.
[future Shade and Cham are taken away]
Egg: Miss Purflee, if you wouldn't mind... I'd like a moment alone with Shadow Raid.
PFF: V..very well...
[Purflee leaves]
Egg: Well, Shadow?
Shadow: I must say, I'm impressed, Doc... I never thought you'd actually rule the world.
Egg: Oh, I can do much more than rule it. I can destroy it. I can save it. I can just leave it.
Shadow: Then why do you keep it in this horrible state?
Egg: It's all about timing... I wish to use this power as leverage to get me into the Veteran's Committee.
Shadow: Man, everything's about becoming one of them, isn't it? You know, they're trying to end this show, right?
Egg: Yes, and frankly, I couldn't care less. This show has done nothing but make me look like a fool.
Shadow: What about this serial? You've become an evil dictator! You're one of the most realistic, and yet formidable foes we've faced!
Egg: Hmm... you raise an excellent point. Alright, let's cut the crap. I'll give up my power... for a price.
Shadow: Name it.
Egg: Stop the Veteran's Committee by any means necessary.
Shadow: I'm already working on that.
Egg: ..alright, I've been reluctant to mention this as of yet, but...
Shadow: What is it?
Egg: ......*sigh* ....I want you to destroy Metal.
Shadow: M..Metal Sonic? The Cremator?
Egg: Yes. Compared to him, I'm just a puppet. He's making all the BIG decisions...
Shadow: But.. but he's DEADLY! I'm sure he's invincible!
Egg: He IS deadly, but far from invincible. You see, he has a switch on his back that shuts off his defenses.
Shadow: Wow, why didn't I think of that? Hmm...... I'll do it. Let's shake on it.
Egg: Of course.
[Eggman sets Shadow free; they shake hands]
Shadow: But I'm gonna need my gravity gun.
Egg: Oh, of course!
[Eggman gives Shadow his gravity gun back]
Egg: Do this, and I'll agree to give up all control of the planet.
Shadow: So, where is he?
Egg: I have absolutely no idea.
Shadow: *sigh* Of course.
[Shadow heads out of the room]
[Purflee is there]
PFF: Shadow! He set you free?
Shadow: Yeah. Have you seen The Cremator anywhere?
PFF: Uh.. yeah, I think he's heading up the many elevators, trying to get up here.
Shadow: And where are those?
PFF: In that room, right there.
Shadow: Thanks.
[Shadow heads into the room, and looks down the elevator shaft]
[in the very far distance, he sees Metal heading up the elevators]
Shadow: Hmm... how to do this?
[cut to later on; Metal reaches the top, and sees Shadow standing in front of him]
MS: Ready to die, mofo?
[Metal attacks him, and rips him in half]
[..'cept he's cardboard]
[the REAL Shadow snuck up behind him and flipped the switch on his back]
MS: Eep! **** **** **** ****!
[Shadow grabs Metal with the gravity gun]
MS: This is going to hurt.
[he shoots him at a wall]
[Metal's motionless body lies still]
Shadow: Finally... Metal is destroyed.
[Shadow heads back to Eggman's office]
[Eggman is not in the office]
Shadow: Eggman? You there? I've destroyed Metal for ya!
[Shadow looks around and presses some buttons]
[Shade, Future Shade, Cham, Red, and Dark drop in from the ceiling]
Shade: 'Sup?
Shadow: Okay, so I've set you guys free... but where's Eggman?
Dark: Maybe he's down that elevator that's in this room?
Shadow: Maybe.
ChamF: Ugh.. you guys go on ahead. I'm going to find Purflee and.. we're gonna get out of here.
ShadeF: Alright, Cham. You do that. See ya.
[the chao 'cept Cham head down the elevator]
[down the elevator is a room with a giant monitor]
[on the monitor is Metal Sonic]
Shadow: B..but... but...
MS: Shadow. Just as I destroyed a cardboard cut-out of you, you destroyed a fake version of me.
Shadow: Dammit!
MS: As you were busy trying to destroy "me," I went ahead and kidnapped Eggman.
Shadow: You monster!
MS: I think you'll find he is having fun inside the Dark Energy Reactor... hahaha!
[the monitor switches off, and the wall behind it opens up to reveal the top of the Egg Citadel (at sunset)]
[there is a giant machine at the top; in the machine is an orb containing Eggman]
[on the very top of the machine, standing on a lightning rod, is Metal Sonic]
MS: As soon as that orb reaches the top, I will summon lightning to zap him, and he will be fried.
[the chao stand, unimpressed]
MS: That's not all! The lightning will combine with the orb, and create a devastating explosion.
Shadow: Oh, ****.
ShadeF: Kid, you'd better go take care of this.
Shadow: C..can't you guys help?
Shade: C'mon, Shadow. Think of this as your final test.
Shadow: *sigh* Fine...
[Shadow heads down another elevator, and exits out to the open air at the top of the Egg Citadel]
MS: Shadow Raid... as soon as the orb reaches synapse, this chamber will be bathed in deadly radiation.
Shadow: Shutcho mowf!
MS: You will be destroyed in every way possible, and even in some ways thought impossible. Your body will be turned to particles that have not yet been scientifically named. Perhaps, if I have the time, I will name some of them after you.
ShadeF: Don't listen to him, Shadow!
[a pathway opens, leading higher up]
[Shadow runs up]
[Chaos Chaobine soldiers enter the chamber, but are quickly taken care of]
MS: Really, you shouldn't even be attempting this, Shadow. All possibilities point to failure.
[Shadow runs through more platforms and climbs onto a contraption that takes him even higher]
MS: I could have told you that was futile!
ShadeF: Crap, Eggman's begun his ascent!
MS: Oh, I forgot to mention... I will be summoning lightning that is not of this world. It's not even made of plasma.
[the contraption reaches the top; Shadow hops off, and onto a ledge]
[he now has a great view of the top of the spire, and of Metal Sonic]
[energy orbs are scattered around]
[a humongous portal opens up above the Egg Citadel]
ShadeF: ****, the portal's opening...
[two gunships fly out of the portal]
[in the portal, various humongous citadel-like structures can be seen]
Shadow: Oh, boy...
ShadeF: The orbs! Use the orbs, Shadow!
Shadow: Right! Of course!
[Shadow grabs some orbs and fires them at the gunships; they go a-splode]
[Eggman is nearing the top; storm clouds are seen swirling in the portal]
MS: Are you still with us, Shadow Raid? Not for much longer, I think.
Shadow: I don't think I can do this... ah, here goes nothing...
[he shoots one last energy orb]
[it strikes Metal Sonic, and it miraculously hits his "Defenses Off" switch]
MS: Oof!
[Metal loses his balance]
MS: Oh, no... no... NOOOOO!!!
[Metal falls off, and falls off the Egg Citadel entirely]
MS: This is gonna be a long drop. CURSE YOU, SHADOW RAIIIIIID!
[Eggman reaches the top, and with no lightning to strike it, the orb explodes, freeing Eggman]
Egg: Wah! You.. you did it, boy! You did it! YIPPY!
[the window behind Shadow breaks open, and the other four chao jump out to him and celebrate]
Red: That was... that was simply...
Red: I mean, WOW... you're...
Red: You.. you're... ah, screw it!
Shade: *chuckle* Congratulations, Shadow. You... you passed the final test. You rock.
ShadeF: You prolly deserve my shotgun for pulling off a feat like that.
Shadow: Was I really that good?
Shade: Yeah.
[Eggman reaches the platform]
Egg: Well, mah boi.. that was very impressive.
Shadow: Thank you, Doctor. So.. you're going to stop ruling the world now?
Egg: A deal is a deal. ....well.. okay, here, please take this as thanks for ridding the world of Metal Sonic for good.
[Eggman hands Shadow a green chaos drive]
Shadow: A.. a chaos drive! Thank you! Thank you SOOO much!
Egg: It's no problem at all.
Shade: Well, Shadow, it looks like you're a true badass now.
Shadow: Wow... really?
ShadeF: Don't get cocky or anything; we need to get the hell outta here while we've still got
[everything slows to a halt as a HUMONGOUS explosion expands from the portal (and freezes, as well)]
Echo: ...TIME..... Shadow Raid?
[Shadow looks around, still frozen in time]
Echo: Is it really that... TIME... again?
[Echo walks in on the scene, seeming to drift in through time]
Echo: It feels as if... you've.. only just.. arrrrIIIVED.
[Echo walks over to Shadow and touches him; Shadow is able to move]
Echo: You've done a.. great DEal in a small... TIME...span.
Shadow: Ugh, what, what?
[Echo unfreezes Shade, as well]
Echo: You've done SO well, in fact... that I've been offered some.. INteresting offers for your services.
Shadow: You're gonna take 'em, aren't you?
[Echo unfreezes Dark]
Echo: Ordinarily, I wouldn't contemplate them, but... these are extrAORDInary... TIMES...
[Echo unfreezes Red next]
Echo: Rather than offer you the ilLUSion of free choice, I've taken the liberty of CHOO..SING... FOR..YOU!
All: Oh, COME ON.
Shade: Typical.
[Echo unfreezes Future Shade]
Echo: If... and WHEN... your... TIME... comes 'round... again.
[Echo sorta... well, he "drifts" them to the endless void]
Echo: I must apologize to you for what must seem an.. arbitrary imposition, Shadow Raid.
Shadow: Yeah, no, no, 'salright and everything..... seriously, tell me what the **** is going on!
Echo: I trust it will all make sense to you in the COUrssse of.......
[Echo hesitates for a second]
Echo: Wellll... I'm really NOT..... at liberty to SAY.
[the chao look at each other in confusion]
[Echo begins heading away from them]
Echo: In the MEAN...TIME........ this is where I get off.
[a door of light opens in the void; Echo walks through; it closes]
"Still Waiting for Half-Time"
was written by DJay32
Based on Half-Life 2 by VALVe Corporation
And characters by Sonic Team
..and also some of Left 4 Dead, by VALVe
And some elements of Rock Band, by Harmonix
And some BIG elements of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, by Infinity Ward

DARK CHAO ADVENTURES was written en memorium to my chao, who I raised in Sonic Adventure 2: Battle.
They.. are no longer with us. Not even Shade.

Shadow: ....DAMN.
Shade: What is it, dude?
Shadow: That was one of the most amazing adventures I've ever lived through.
Shade: Heh heh... you bet.
Dark: Hey, we didn't play a song at the end!
Shade: Oh, you're right! We didn't! ****. Whatever! Doesn't matter.
Dark: But.. we played Stairway for the first game!
Shade: Well, yeah, but the first game had a plain-old boss battle. Half-Life 2 had more of a... final scenario.
White: GUYS
Shade: AAHH!
[White appears]
Shade: Oh, Jack! Don't.. don't sneak up on me like that!
White: Ah, it's not "Jack White" anymore. I'm Adrian Ruthford.
Red: Yeah, but... "White" sounds cooler.
White: Ah, screw it, you're right. Fine. I'm either "Adrian," or "White."
ShadeF: Guys?
Shadow: Yeah?
ShadeF: Levity Nite's here.
Nite: Hello, fellows.
Shadow: Whatchu want?
Nite: You have finally obtained your first chaos drive.
Shadow: Yeah, it only took us three days...
ShadeF: Technically, it took us a week and three days.
Shadow: Yes, but technicalities don't matter!
Nite: You have six more to go.
Shadow: Can't we rest for a bit?
Nite: Of course. You'll get to rest when I put you in stasis. For now, any questions you have to ask, I will answer.
Shadow: What happened to Eggman?
Nite: Don't worry. I have placed him in stasis, as well. Anybody who will help get chaos drives will be saved.
Red: Where are we going next?
Nite: We, the Veteran's Committee, have been searching for chaos drives. They are not easy to come by.
Shadow: Yeah, tell me about it.
Nite: We have found a couple of locations where chaos drives have been said to be found.
Shadow: Great, and what are they?
Nite: One of them is the highway that Shade traversed just prior to his Grey Journey.
Shade: Oh, THAT place...
Nite: And the other... well... this is somewhat silly, but.. it's said to be somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean.
Dark: Somewhere in the sea...
Nite: Yes. We wish to find a bit more exact, precise, and perhaps reliable source for that one, though.
ShadeF: So we're going to the highway next?
Nite: Correct. While you are searching for that one, we will look for more clues for this one.
Shadow: Alright, Levity. We'll look for your chaos drives.
Nite: Yes, it is best you do. For now, though.. sleep. We will wake you when it is time.
[Levity Nite leaves the room, putting the chao in stasis]
[as they sleep, Adrian is taken away from the others]

Monday, April 5, 2010

Future Warfare

[Note: None of the following lines were actually said. They're just here for drama.]
[cut to Shadow, Shade, Dark, and Red in a Fiat Panda]
Shadow: We've gotta go WHERE?
Shade: Novella Prospekt. It's like a prison, only worse.
[clips of the chao driving along the highway, fighting off robot Dark chao]
Rebel (Voice-Over): They're called "Chaobine." They're the Badnik SWAT team.
[clips of Shadow fighting the three Antlion Guards]
Shade: Nice, kid. Guess you proved you can handle yourself out there.
[clips of Shadow leading the antlion fleet]
Shadow: ONWARD!
[clips of the chao and the antlions assaulting Novella Prospekt]
Shade: C'mon. Future me's awaiting us at the train depot.

Season Seven: The End
Episode Sixty-Two: Still Waiting for Half-Time Part Four: Chao of Duty (Future Warfare)

[cut to a static shot of a prison hallway]
[gunshots are heard in the distance]
["Still Waiting for Half-Time" appears at the center of the screen]
[the logo then blows up, and is replaced by "CHAO OF DUTY: FUTURE WARFARE 2 LOL"]
["New Game" "Load Game" "Options" "Quit" appear below the title]
[a mouse cursor clicks "Load Game," then "Save Game 01"]
Chapter 9a: (ACT I) Entangled up in Blue
[cut to the train depot in Novella Prospekt]
[Shadow, Shade, Dark and Red walk along as trains whiz past]
?: Hey, you made it!
[in comes the Future Shade (Shade with a cowboy hat, shotgun, and stubble)]
Shadow: Of course. You told us to come, and we had nothing else to do.
ShadeF: Ah, yes... I remember. This is the part where you got guts.
Shade: Yeah, I've been teaching him how to be cool.
ShadeF: Not a bad job, kiddo.
Shadow: Alright, now are we gonna get a move on, or what?
ShadeF: Fine, fine. Come on.
[Future Shade leads them to an elevator; they ride it]
ShadeF: I'm afraid I'm flying blind here.
Red: What do you mean?
ShadeF: Well, every now and again, a Xenomorph'll give us info on this place, but.. we still don't know much about it.
Shadow: Hm, well, I suppose we'll just have to find out about it, then, huh?
ShadeF: *chuckle* I guess so.
[the elevator reaches the top; Chaobine Guard Soldier People are ready to fight n' whatnot]
[budda budda budda]
[Future whatsisname leads them to an odd room]
[Badnik technology fills the walls]
ShadeF: Okay, let me take a look at this...
[he pushes some buttons and pulls some levers]
[suddenly, a window opens up, and they see thousands and thousands of pods in the distance]
Shadow: What the heck...?
ShadeF: Wait a second... I've got an idea. *pushes s'more buttons*
[one random pod is lifted up by machines and taken to them]
[it opens up, and Future Cham is inside!]
ChamF: Ugh... Shade? Shade? Shadow? Dark? Red? What are you doing here?
ShadeF: We're here to save you, dude.
ChamF: It's not worth the risk! You have to get out of here! Save yourselves!
ShadeF: No! I've been talking with Mister Prower, and he's calibrated his portal and stuff, and...
ChamF: Well... okay, but I'm not leaving without Purflee!
ShadeF: We'll find her. Don't worry. I'll send you to the teleport chamber. See you there.
[he presses some buttons; Cham's pod closes, and he is taken away]
ShadeF: Alright, you four. I'm gonna look for a security station. Here's a radio. *gives Shadow a radio*
Shadow: Where are we supposed to go?
ShadeF: Just keep moving through this place. I'll meet up with you later. I have my own stuff to take care of.
Shadow: But... to where?
ShadeF: Go.. um... I dunno. To the teleport chamber, wherever the heck THAT is. Good luck!
[Future Shade runs off]
Shadow: Great. We're lost in a robotnicized prison about thirty-odd years in the future.
Shade: Ah, get over yourself, kid. Just pretend you have seven HP left, or something. Now, let's look around.
[they look around, and quickly find a closed gate]
ShadeFRadio: Hold up, guys. You at a gate yet?
Shadow: Affirmative.
ShadeFR: Okay, well... I found a security station. Let's see if I can't......
[the gate opens]
ShadeFR: Ah-ha!
Shadow: Alright, thank you.
[they move on, fight some soldiers, then find ANOTHER gate]
ShadeFR: Another gate? Okay, hang on.
ShadeFR: Hrm. It's kinda jammed. Gimme a sec.
[soldiers arrive]
Shadow: Uh-oh. Hurry up, Shade!
[budda budda budda]
ShadeFR: Got it! Gate's open.
[they dash through, and keep going through the hallways]
Red: Man, for a Robotnicized prison, it sure is much more BORING than the rest of the prison.
Shade: I guess Eggman doesn't like STYLE.
ShadeFR: *chuckle* Good one. Alright, listen, you're coming up to a security station. It's still occupied.
[Shadow points at Red and Dark, then at the station ahead]
[Red and Dark nod their heads, then dash in, guns blazing]
[Shade and Shadow follow]
Shadow: Hm. Pretty nice station. ...hm. Future Shade?
ShadeFR: Yep?
Shadow: It appears the path ahead is blocked by a forcefield. Mind takin' it down?
ShadeFR: Can do.
ShadeFR: ...CAN'T do. Not from here. I'll have to come over there and take it down.
Red: Couldn't you just tell US how to do it?
ShadeFR: Yeah, but that's not as fun. ..crap, a LOT of Chaobine soldiers comin' your way!
Shade: What do you want us to do about 'em?
ShadeFR: There should be two turrets you can set up in there. ...set 'em up. I'll be there shortly, over and out.
Shadow: Alright, let's set up these turrets at the two exits.
[they do that]
Shadow: Now Shade, Dark, you two cover THIS exit; Red and I'll cover THAT one.
[they do that, too]
[in come the soldiers, one by one]
Dark: Funny. "One by one" is also how they die.
[Future Shade comes in after about a minute of these boring theatrics]
ShadeF: Right, I'm here. What'd you want? Forcefield deactivation? Kay-o.
[he messes with the consoles (oh, and the soldiers stopped coming)]
ShadeF: ...hm? Guys.
[the chao surround the monitor (another thing I forgot to mention)]
[on the monitor is Purflee, somewhere else in the facility, talking to the camera?]
PFF: ..I'm not calling about that. You promised you weren't going to touch Cham.
[another voice is heard-- that of Doctor Eggman]
Egg: The Chaobine were a bit overzealous, I admit, but he was too big a prize to ignore in the absense of Shadow Raid.
PFF: You would have gotten Shadow had you waited for my signal, like I asked.
Egg: Well, we weren't sure if you'd go through with that.
PFF: Doctor Robotnik...
Egg: This is not open to debate, Purflee.
PFF: Doctor--
Egg: So sorry, but I'm out of time.
[the monitor switches off]
Shadow: ...damn. What a twist, huh?
ShadeF: I can't believe it.
Shade: It's been a while since you last played Half-Life 2, hasn't it?
ShadeF: Kinda. It came out over thirty years ago, you know.
Shade: Oh, yeah.
ShadeF: Anyway, you guys move on. I'll stay here and shut off the security n' whatnot.
[Shadow, Shade, Dark n' Red move on]
[they open a door and head downstairs to a flooded basement]
[Shade sticks out his arm, gesturing for the others to stop]
Shade: Don't touch that water.
Shadow: I'm not gonna ask.
Red: Neither will I.
Shade: In this case, though, we're gonna need you, Shadow.
Shadow: Got it.
[Shadow uses his gravity gun to make a lot of platforms across the water.. and... stuff]
[on the other side, they enter yet ANOTHER hallway]
Dark: So many hallways.
Red: It's like a maze of hallways.
[SUDDENLY, the lights go out]
All: Uh-oh.
[red flares are set off further ahead]
Shadow: Arm yourselves, guys.
[Chaobine soldiers try to ambush our 'heroes,' but are quickly SMITTEN DOWN TO DA GROUND]
Dark: You can't kill the metal. The metal will live on.
[they move onward, and find a cell block]
Red: Finally, normal prison stuff.
[deserted, of course]
Red: Good enough.
[they head into a small security station]
[three turrets are there]
ShadeFR: Hey, guys? I'd recommend you set up those turrets you found. Soldiers are coming from all directions.
Shadow: Sure, we'll do that.
[they do that]
[a few soldiers come in and attack]
[they are quickly held back]
ShadeFR: Alright, I'm gonna come to your position. Hold 'em back a little bit longer, okay?
Shadow: Okey-dokey. See ya then.
[it's sooooooo boring... they fight off such small numbers]
[Future Shade arrives to find all four of them asleep]
ShadeF: Well, I'll be. Sleeping on the job, are you?
Red: Uhh.... wow, I guess we were. Hey, guys, wake up.
[they wake up]
Shadow: Oh, I was just having the most wonderful dream...
Shade: What happened in it?
Shadow: It turns out we were just playing this on a computer.
ShadeF: Alright, c'mon, let's go.
[they find another monitor thingy; Future Shade messes with it]
[on the monitor is Purflee in a small room]
ShadeF: There she is.
[he messes with stuff more, and ends up trapping her in the room she's in]
ShadeF: Let's go cross-examine her.
[they walk into the room she's in]
PFF: Sh-Shade?
ShadeF: Whassup? What's up with you and the Egghead?
PFF: I.. I don't know what you mean.
ShadeF: 'Course you do. That monitor's got a built-in camera, you know. Captures your every move.
PFF: Ack! ..It's impossible to lie to you.
ShadeF: Thirty years of experience, ma'am. Now, tell me... what's going on?
PFF: I've..... sorta been working as a mole for Eggman.
ShadeF: Hm. Mole for Eggman, meaning trying to deceive HIM, or US?
PFF: Him, I swear!
ShadeF: Alright. Come on, everyone.
Shadow: Where are we going now?
ShadeF: Out of Novella Prospekt.
Red: How are we gonna get out of THIS place?
ShadeF: The same way Cham will.
[Future Shade leads them through a door and into a giant chamber]
[in the middle of the chamber is a huge machine]
ShadeF: We're teleporting out.
[the chao look at each other for a second]
Shadow: ...okay, let's do it, then.
PFF: I've already warmed the teleporter up for Cham.
ShadeF: That's good. Speaking of, he should be getting here soon.
[a machine carries a pod into the room]
ShadeF: Yup, there he is now.
[the pod is carried into the teleporter]
[Future Shade walks over to a console, and fiddles about]
[Tails' voice is heard on a radio]
TailsR: Shade, is everything ready?
ShadeF: All set. You?
TailsR: Everything is in order.
ShadeF: Sweet. Then let's do it.
[he turns to look at the teleporter; Purflee has entered it with Cham, and sealed herself in]
ShadeF: Wha?!
PFF: I'm sorry, Shade. It's for the best.
ShadeF: NO!
[the teleporter activates]
[the room flashes and... yaddayadda]
[Purflee and Cham have now been teleported]
[Future Shade stands and stares for a bit before running back to the console]
ShadeF: I can't believe it...
TailsR: Can't believe what? What's happening?
ShadeF: Holy Sham-Wow... what coordinates are THESE?
[the other chao run over to look at them]
ShadeF: Kids, I think it's time to fear the worst.
[suddenly, they hear someone banging on the door]
ShadeF: ****! ****!!! The Chaobine have found us!
Dark: What do we do, what do we do, what do we do?!
ShadeF: Uhh.. uhhh... Mister Prower, you're still ready for us?
TailsR: Of course.
ShadeF: Then we're still teleporting out.
[he hits a button]
ShadeF: Ohhh, but it's gonna take a while for it to warm up!
[he looks around the room]
[he sees some turrets]
ShadeF: There! Turrets! Set 'em up, guys!
[the chao set up the three turrets around the room]
Shade: Now, if my Half-Life 2 memory is fully functional, we've got three turrets and four entrances.
Shadow: Well, if my RECENT memory is fully functional, then these "ambushes" are really easy.
Shade: Exactly. We'll be fine--
[BASH! The door is broken open, and in floods THOUSANDS of Chaobine soldiers!]
[the turrets are destroyed within seconds]
ShadeF: Ah, I never thought I'd get to use this...
[Future Shade pulls out his shotgun, and performs a crazy maneuver, blasting in every conceivable direction]
[the entire room is instantly filled with dead soldiers]
ShadeF: Peace o' cak--
[BASH! In comes an antlion GUARD!]
Shadow: I REALLY hate the Veteran's Committee.
[Shadow and the Guard lock eyes]
[the Guard snorts and prepares to charge]
ShadeF: Kid. Take it. Now.
[Future Shade hands Shadow his shotgun]
[Shadow cocks it, and the Guard charges]
[right before it strikes him, he fires the gun once]
[the Guard's corpse collapses and flies to the wall behind Shadow]
Shadow: Teleporter. Now.
Red: But it's not ready yet!
ShadeF: You heard the kid. Into the teleporter!
[they enter the teleporter, and press a button]
[the machine seems to not want to activate]
[BAAAASH! More Chaobine soldiers enter]
Red: Wait, those don't look anything like the ones we're used to.
ShadeF: ....no way, can't be.
Shadow: Can't be what? What are they?
ShadeF: Chaobine Elites, based on the Dark Ch--
[everything goes black]
[all that is heard is Shadow's heavy breathing]
[they find themselves back in Tails' lab, back in the city]
ShadeF: *pant* Whoo, I think we.. I think we made it.
Shadow: But, where's Mister Prower? I thought he knew we were coming.
Dark: Maybe Half-Life 2: Episode Three just came out.
[Shade bursts out with laughter]
Shade: Nice, dude.
[they enter the next room, and come face-to-face with a shotgun-- a shotgun held by Tails]
Tails: Sh..Shadow? Shade? Other guys? I had almost given up hope!
Shadow: Calm down, Mister Prower. For a second there, I thought we wouldn't make it, either.
ShadeF: Yeah, it felt like the teleporter freakin' blew up...
Tails: It did.
ShadeF: ..oh.
Tails: Yes, it certainly did, and its repurcussions were felt worldwide! But... that was a week ago!
[Dark's jaw drops to the floor]
Red: But.. but we were just there a few seconds ago...
Tails: Fascinating... we seem to have developed a slow teleport! This calls for a new line of investigation.
Shadow: A week? What have we missed?
Tails: Eh, not much. The explosion at Novella Prospekt was taken as a signal to begin the uprising.
Shadow: ...oh.
Tails: Yeah, war on the streets, urban warfare, new badniks, State of Emergency.. you didn't miss that much.
Shade: War broke out?
Tails: War broke out.
Shade: Still going?
Tails: Yeah. You can still get some action.
Shade: Yes!
ShadeF: So.. what happened to Cham?
Tails: That is most disturbing. According to our Xenomorph friends, he has been taken to the Egg Citadel.
Shadow: ...so.... rescue mission?
Tails: Indeed. In fact, Red--the one from our time-- has gone off with that very purpose in mind.
Shade: Sweet. We can catch up with him.
[suddenly, a monitor turns on; the future Red is on it]
RedF: Doc? You there?
Tails: Oh, speak of the devil! Red, I have good news! The boys are back in town!
Red: The boys are back in town?
Tails: The boys are back in town!
Red: The boys are back in town! That's wonderful! We could use 'em here. We're about to stage our assault on the Egg Citadel.
Shade: We'll get there, man! We'll give you some back-up.
Red: Much obliged.
ShadeF: Listen, you guys go on by yourselves for a bit; I've got to stay here with Mister Prower for a bit.
Shadow: You'll catch up later, though, right?
ShadeF: Of course. I wouldn't miss this for the world.
Red: Alright, well... I gotta go. INCOMING!
[the screen shuts off]
ShadeF: You guys had better get goin', then. I'll catch up; I promise.
[the fearsome foursome head out of the lab, and down an elevator shaft]
Chapter 10: (ACT II) Anticitizen Kane
[Shadow, Shade, Dark and Red head out the door to the streets]
[the time is about.. five-thirty, maybe six in the afternoon]

"Uprising 101"
(Day 3- 17:54:06)
(Red a.k.a "Redd Fox")
(District 14)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Find Future Red}
{Regroup with Future Shade}
{Learn the basics of fighting in the Uprising}

[they walk along for a bit and suddenly an Egg APC (Armored Patrol Car) drives by!]
Shade: ****, and there's no Dog here...
Shadow: Wait, so.. can't we just fight them?
Shade: .....actually, that's not such a bad idea.
[budda budda budda]
[they carry on past a big Badnik Wall and into the plaza outside the train station]
[in the plaza, some rebel chao are tipping over a spire with one of Eggman's monitors on it]
[they tip it over, and it blows up]
[they cheer]
Rebel1: HEY! It's the One Free Raid!
Rebel2: Wait up, Shadow; I'm comin' with ya!
[the whole squadron of three rebel chao join our heroes]
Shadow: ..what just happened?
Shade: You got a squad following you now. You can send them wherever the heck you want.
Shadow: Hmm.... go over there!
[the squad goes over there]
Shadow: Now come back here!
[they come back here]
Shadow: Sweet. Do they ever talk?
Rebel3: Sometimes I dream of cheese.
Shadow: Never mind. Let's... get moving.
[they move down an alleyway]
[Shade stops them]
Shade: Hold on... see that red light?
Shadow: Yeah.. what IS that?
Shade: Egg Hopper.
Shadow: What's it do?
Shade: It hops.
Shadow: Oh.
Shade: ...and it blows up.
Shadow: OH. How do we dodge it?
Shade: Gravity gun.
[Shadow gravitifies that sucker]
[they move through the alleyway, dealing with whatever Egg Hoppers they find until they reach an uphill street]
[up the street is a Chaobine barricade, complete with turrets]
[also up the street, before the barricade, are tons of potholes and rubble, making it impossible to traverse]
Shade: I'll let you take care of this one, Green One.
[Shadow analyzes the situation]
Shadow: ...guys, see that building across the street?
Dark: Pfft, yeah. We're not BLIND.
Shadow: Well, we've gotta get there. Maybe there's a way up the street from there.
Red: That's a sound idea. Let's try it.
Shadow: Glad you think so. Ready?
[they run across the street, and are instantly shot at by the barricade]
[cut to the building across the street]
[six chao enter]
Shadow: Ugh... well, that was much more firepower than I had assumed.
Dark: *cough cough* Never... never assume, dude...... ow...
Shade: He has a point. If you ARE gonna assume in a situation like this, then assume the worst.
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Learn the basics of fighting in the Uprising}

"You and Me and Uma Thurman"
(Day 3- 18:04:58)
(Adrian Benjamin Ruthford a.k.a "Jack White")
(District 13)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Find Future Red}
{Regroup with Future Shade}
{Assault the Chaobine barricade up the street}

Rebel2: Shadow Raid, sir?
Shadow: Yeah?
Rebel2: I.. think we lost Hendrix.
Shadow: Oh, right, I never got your names! Uh.. which one was Hendrix?
Rebel3: "Rebel1."
Shadow: Oh, darn. So, who are YOU two?
Rebel2: I'm White.
Rebel3: And I'm Jovi.
White: Code names, of course.
Shadow: Alright, cool. Jovi, could you scout ahead and see what's in this building?
Jovi: Sure thing, Raid.
[Jovi heads around a corner]
[budda budda budda]
Shadow: *sigh* White, you think you can deal with those Chaobine?
White: Of course.
[White takes care of the soldiers]
Shadow: Alright, well, we're probably gonna need codenames, too. I'm Shadow Raid, as usual.
Shade: I call Solid Shade.
Red: No, man, you need a REAL code name. One that you can say without your real name, and "Solid" doesn't count.
Shade: Fine, fine, I'm Peter Greybriel.
Red: I'm Redd Fox.
Dark: Just call me Duke Nukem.
Shade: Hmm... maybe "Peter Greybriel's" kinda silly.
Duke: What was your first clue?
Shade: ..call me Mycroft Holmes.
Raid: Okay, sweet, we've all got our codenames, then. White, status report!
White: Jovi's dead, and there's another door in this building that leads further up the street.
Raid: Awesome. Mycroft, Fox, Duke, White... we are now oscar mike.
Duke: lol call of doody
[they head out the next door and find themselves a little further up the street]
Raid: Hmmmm.... ah, another building! In here, guys.
[they enter another building]
Raid: Say, whatever happened to my antlions?
Mycroft: Eh, they're only used in and around Novella Prospekt. Sad, I know.
Raid: Aw. Anyway, Duke! Fox! Check the basement.
Duke+Fox: Got it. *to the basement*
Raid: White, Mycroft, you two come with me up these stairs. I can hear tangos up there.
[they head up the stairs, and approach a door]
Raid: ....yeah, confirmed tangos.
Mycroft: How many?
Raid: A small squadron... I'd say about three or four.
Mycroft: We can take 'em. Who's gonna bust this door down?
White: Allow me, Sarge.
[White steps up to the door and kicks it down]
[Raid and Mycroft hop in and shoot the Chaobine inside]
Raid: ALL CLEAR! White, you check that door! Mycroft, THAT one!
[they split up and check out all the rooms]
[eventually, they regroup, as well as Fox and Duke]
Raid: Report.
Mycroft: Nada.
White: Zilch.
Fox: Nada III.
Duke: I found a supply crate.
Raid: Ah, we don't need those. We're fine the way we are.
[they hear noises coming from a monitor]
Raid: Huh?
[the monitor flickers Eggman's face a couple of times]
Egg: Y......er.............eo....et....on..........rep...
[it repeats endlessly]
Raid: Strange.
Fox: Raid, I think we'd best move on for now. We can worry about herr Doktor later.
Raid: Good point. Let's go.
[they enter another door, and see a hole in the floor]
Duke: Ooh! I wanna scout ahead this time!
Raid: Be my guest.
[Duke hops down the hole]
Duke: CLEAR, save for two turrets facing the other way!
Raid: I got 'em. C'mon.
[the rest of them hop down the hole, and Raid uses his gravity gun to boot the turrets through a window]
Raid: Hmmm...
[through the window is the very top of the street, just in front of the barricade]
Raid: We need to get around that barriade somehow... any ideas?
Mycroft: Try the other side of the street.
Raid: The other side of the street?
[on the other side of the street is another building they can enter]
Raid: Wilco. Onward, soldiers.
[they dash across and make it to the building]
White: Ugh... those.. those gunners are getting pretty painful.
Raid: Don't worry, White. You'll get yours in a moment. For now, up the stairs, guys.
[they head up the stairs, and deal with a Chaobine soldier or two]
[White finds health, and they all find a hole in the ground that leads to the other side of the barricade]
Raid: Alright, here's the plan... Duke Nukem, I want you to do what you're best at.
Duke: Sweeeeet.
Raid: Mycroft, if you want, you can back him up.
Mycroft: Fine by me.
Raid: White, you'll be in the back, but you've gotta focus on the gunners.
White: With pleasure.
Raid: Fox, if you'd like, you can sit this one out.
Fox: That sounds pretty nice, actually. I'll stay back here and toss health if you guys ever need it.
Raid: Sounds like a plan, then. Let's go.
[they charge out in a squad of four, tactfully taking care of the Chaobine]
[..except Duke, who just charges out and blasts everyone he sees]
[using this hybrid of tactics and RAWR, they easily deal with the barricade]
Raid: Fox, c'mon, we're oscar mike again!
Fox: Got it!
[Fox regroups with them, and they move up some stairs into another building]
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Assault the Chaobine barricade up the street}
{NEW OBJECTIVE- Fight through the apartments}
[they deal with whatever soldiers are up here]
Raid: Moving on. C'mon, onwards! Lot of ground to cover.
[they head down a lot of stairs]
[down the stairs is a long hallway-- AMBUSH!]
[budda budda budda]
Raid: Keep it going. Nothin' to see here.
[up some more stairs-- budda budda, more boring hallways and soldiers]
[down more stairs-- budda budda, zombies and hallways]
[they make it outside into the center of the apartment complex]
Raid: Hm. We can't move on due to a cage over the next door.
White: Raid, sir, how about that staircase leading down to what is presumably an underground underpass?
Raid: ...good idea.
[they head down the stairs]
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Fight through the apartments}

(Day 3- 18:30:00)
(Megan Sherry Bates a.k.a "Lady Gaga")
(Underground Tunnels)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Find Future Red}
{Regroup with Future Shade}
{Traverse the tunnels}

[cut to an underground highway tunnel]
[the chao arrive to find another squad of rebel chao]
Raid: Sweet, reinforcements! Names?
Rebel1: I'm Theodor--
Raid: CODEnames, buddy.
Rebel1: Oh. Then... I'm Van Halen.
Rebel2: John Petrucci's the name.
Rebel3: I'm Lady Gaga.
Rebel4: And I'm Jimmy Page.
Mycroft: Ugh. Hope he dies.
Page: Excuse me?
Mycroft: Oh, just... mumbling to myself. Let's get a move on.
[they move forward, then suddenly are bombarded with manhacks]
Raid: Huh. Haven't seen these guys in a while.
[they destroy the manhacks and move around some rubble]
Fox: The Badniks must have gotten here. Everything's torn apart.
[they move through some narrow corridors n' whatnot]
[they come across a bunch of Chaobine]
Raid: Alright, Halen, Petrucci, Gaga and Page, let's see how good you guys are. Take care of that station.
Page: Gaga, I think you'd better sit this one out.
Gaga: What? Why me?
Page: Well, you're... a girl. This situation calls for boys.
Petrucci: C'mon, Page, you're just jealous 'cause Gaga's a better sharpshooter than you are.
Page: N..no, I'm not!
Raid: Will you guys shut up and take care of the freaking Chaobine already?
Page: Fine...
[the four head out and take care of the soldiers]
[Raid follows them and walks up to a wall of rubble blocking the road ahead]
Raid: Well, ain't THIS just perfect?
?: Hey, is there someone there?
Raid: Uh.. yes, I'm Raid.
?: The One Free Raid?
Raid: That's the one.
?: Listen! We're gonna plant some charges and blow this rubble up! But, it may take a while, so.. be patient.
Raid: Can do.
[they sit around for a bit, waiting for the people on the other side to blow the rubble up]
Raid: So, Petrucci, what's the scoop between Page and Gaga?
Petrucci: Oh, well, as I said, Page is jealous 'cause he wants to be the best sharpshooter... and he's not.
Raid: Gaga took the title away from him?
Petrucci: Yep.
Page: Guys, I'm right here.
Raid: Congratulations. Would you like a medal?
?: Alright! Alright, we've planted the charges! Stand back!
[they stand back]
[the rubble is cleared]
[on the other side is a medic]
Raid: Oh, there's only one of you. Codename?
Medic: Robbie Williams.
Mycroft: Ooh, I like this guy.
Duke: Raid!
Raid: Find something, Duke?
Duke: Yeah, there's this little crawlspace right here.
Williams: Oh, that crawlspace heads to the next patch of tunnel, but it's been covered in radiation...
Raid: Leave this one to me, th--
Mycroft: No. Leave it to ME.
Raid: Hm?
Mycroft: I know where to go. That place can kill you if you don't.
Raid: Oh, well, if you really want to go...
Mycroft: I do.
[Mycroft crawls through the space]
Williams: HEY! Try to get us out of here, too, will ya?
Mycroft: Don't worry, I know what I'm doing.
[he looks around and sees a bunch of broken-down cars sitting in toxic waste]
[he wipes off some sweat, feels the radiation, and hops onto a nearby car]
[he then hops from car to truck to car to car to random crate to pipe to whacking headcrabs to car to other pipe]
[he climbs up the pipe, and into a vent]
[the vent takes him to a long corridor]
[he goes to one end of the corridor and opens a door, which leads to the room the others are in]
Mycroft: Piece of cake. Let's go.
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Traverse the tunnels}

"The Only Easy Day Was Pancake Day"
(Day 3- 18:47:29)
(Robert Truman a.k.a "Brian May")
(Apartment Complexes District 9)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Find Future Red}
{Regroup with Future Shade}
{Fight through the complexes}

[the gang emerges next to a DIFFERENT set of apartments]
Halen: Crap! They're shelling us!
[a metal shell falls from the sky and lands on top of Jimmy Page]
[headcrabs jump out and are quickly killed]
Gaga: They.. they got Page.
Raid: ..damn.
Fox: Guys, I think we'd best keep going. I mean, we've still got a ways to go, don't we?
Raid: F..Fox is right. We need to keep moving, and waiting around's only gonna bring in more enemies.
White: Well, I'm ready to roll when you are, Raid.
Raid: Good. Let's move on, then.
[they move on, and encounter a locked door]
Petrucci: Oh, hold on. *knock knock*
?: What's the password?
Petrucci: If you don't shut your damn piehole, I will shoot you in your left mouth.
?: Correct.
[the door opens; another rebel awaits them]
?: 'Sup, Petrucci?
Petrucci: Hey, May. Mind if we come in?
May: No, go right ahead. HEY, EVERYONE! We got visitors!
[they enter the building and find it to be some sort of rebel refugee.. place]
[Petrucci steps to the center of the room; everyone slowly starts looking at him]
Petrucci: Listen, everyone.. this will be the last day in the Uprising.
[the crowd gives off confused murmurs]
Petrucci: Shadow Raid has returned.
[Raid takes the stage]
Raid: Uh.. hello. I'm Shadow Raid.
Raid: You may not believe this, but.. I came here from the past to overthrow Herr Doktor.
Raid: Yeah, he sucks. I know. Anyway, I'm running a siege on the Egg Citadel.
Raid: I'm gonna let my advisor, Mycroft Holmes, explain to you the details.
Mycroft: Thanks, Shadow Raid. Hello. I'm Mycroft. I used to be the famous one.
["Huh?" "Don't recognize him." "Ringing no bells."]
Mycroft: *sigh* Yeah. Well, according to my calculations, we should be able to reach the Egg Citadel in a couple hours.
Raid: Really? We're THAT close?
Mycroft: Yeah.
Raid: Oh, awesome. It looks so far.
Mycroft: That's just because it's so freaking tall.
Raid: Right, of course. How hard will it be to get to the top?
Mycroft: Not hard at all. We'll go over this later, dude. You have a speech to give, remember?
Raid: Oh, right, right, yeah. Anyway, to accompany me in this speech...
[the lights go out]
[a spotlight shows Mycroft at a drumkit]
[a spotlight show Fox holding a bass guitar]
[a spotlight shows Duke holding a guitar]
[Duke grabs the microphone]
Duke: 'Sup, everyone... we're Rubber Goose. Joining us today is the Robotnikland 17 Symphony Orchestra.
[in comes the squad of rebels (like Jack White, John Petrucci, etc) holding string instruments]
Duke: And we have a very special guest tonight, who will be singing this piece with me... please welcome Shadow Raid.
[Raid steps up to the microphone again]
[the crowd goes wild; Duke gestures for them to calm down]
Duke: Raid has told you the basics. The Egg Citadel's gotta go down. But first, we need an army.
Raid: A BIG one.
Duke: So, to help you guys decide whether or not to enlist in our squadron... we wanted to play this song.
[ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x29TGL71pv4 ]

[instantly the drums play an upbeat tempo as the guitar plays alongside the string instruments and..
you know what? Why don't you just listen to the damn song? xD]

Duke+Raid: Whooooaoooaooooooah! Whoooaooooooohhhhhhoooh! Whooooaooooaooooooaoooooah!

(Raid is singing most of the lyrics; the ones in parentheses are sung by Duke)
Raid: Hey all! (Hey all!)
Welcome to the greatest storm.
I know! (I know!)
You have waited much too long..
And I! (And I!)
I will be your shining star!
I'm here! (I'm here!)
Here to conquer here! And! Far!

Raid: Like the sun (The sun!), I run (I run!)!
Both: Into the heat of day!
Raid: Like a knight (A knight!), I fight (I fight!)!
Until the fight is woooooon...

(Here, everyone sings along, with Duke singing the backups)
All: In a rage (A rage!), I slay (I slay!)..
Raid: Each and every,
Duke: Each and every,
Both: Each and everyone..
Raid: 'Till this war is won!

Raid: And I live! To rule!
Duke: By the sword..
Raid: Slashing through the every inch of the power,
Duke: The power in you!

Raid: As I sit!
Duke: As I stand!
Raid: By the table I command!
Both: My kingdom...

Raid: I'm a Kniiiiiight of the Wind.

Duke+Raid: Whooooaoooaooooooah! Whoooaooooooohhhhhhoooh! Whooooaooooaooooooaoooooah!

Raid: Hey all! (Hey all!)
Welcome to the end is near.
I know! (I know!)
I will bring you pain! And! Fear!

Raid: On the ground (On the ground!), to the sky (To the sky!)!
Both: Face with you and I!
Raid: In a flash (In a flash!), I'm gone (I'm gone!)!
Both: Holding your crown high

All: In a rage (A rage!), I slay (I slay!)..
Raid: Each and every,
Duke: Each and every,
Both: Each and everyone..
Raid: 'Till this war is won!

Raid: And I live! To rule!
Duke: By the sword..
Raid: Slashing through the every inch of the power,
Duke: The power in you!

Raid: As I sit!
Duke: As I stand!
Raid: By the table I command!
Both: My kingdom...

Raid: I'm a Kniiiiiight of the Wind...
I'm a Knight of the Wind.
I'm a Knight of the Wind!

Duke: Our castle is a massive force!
Fox: A stronghold of power!
Mycroft: My armor stays unbreakable!
All: In battle every hour!

[Duke's guitar solo, followed by..]
[Duke's WTF this is a freaking SONIC song, what's THAT doing in there? solo]

All: Whooooaoooaooooooah! Whoooaooooooohhhhhhoooh! Whooooaooooaooooooaoooooah!

Raid: Like the sun (The sun!), I run (I run!)!
Both: Into the heat of day!
Raid: Like a knight (A knight!), I fight (I fight!)!
Until the fight is woooooon...

All: In a rage (A rage!), I slay (I slay!)..
Raid: Each and every,
Duke: Each and every,
Both: Each and everyone..
Raid: 'Till this war is won!

Raid: And I live! To rule!
Duke: By the sword..
Raid: Slashing through the every inch of the power,
Duke: The power in you!

Raid: As I sit!
Duke: As I stand!
Raid: By the table I command!
Both: My kingdom...

Raid: I'm a Kniiiiiight of the Wind.
I'm a Knight of the Wind!
[they finish]
[standing ovation]
Raid: So, who's gonna help us siege the Egg Citadel?
May: Uh.. I guess I will.
Petrucci: Sweet, welcome to the squad, May.
Duke: You guys are the worst crowd we've ever had. Where's my trailer?
Raid: Well.. okay, I guess we'll just carry on, then.
[they go through the next set of apartments, hopping through broken floors, fighting zombies and killing Chaobine]
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Fight through the complexes}

"Took You Long Enough"
(Day 3- 19:01:40)
(Shade the Dark, Future, a.k.a "Slenderchao")
(District 8)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Find Future Red}
{Regroup with Future Shade}

[they enter a room and are greeted by two turrets]
[Raid quickly shuts them down with his gravity gun]
[a door on the other side is kicked down... by Future Shade, leading his own little squad]
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Regroup with Future Shade}
ShadeF: Well, lookie what we have here. Told you I'd meet up with you guys.
Raid: Looks like you followed through, sarge.
ShadeF: Kid, for now, just call me "Slenderchao."
Raid: Cool. I assume you know all of OUR nicknames?
Slender: Of course. I've been hearing of your adventures. You impress me, Shadow Raid.
Mycroft: What about me, dude?
Slender: Mister Holmes, you always impressed me. After all... you're ME.
Mycroft: Oh, sweet.
Slender: Anyway, c'mon, we've got a lot of work to do.
[Slenderchao leads them down some stairs and to a console]
Slender: Apparently, there's some kind of generator in the plaza below.
Raid: A generator? What does it fuel?
Slender: It fuels a forcefield that prevents us from moving on.
Raid: So... how do we shut it off?
Slender: You leave that to me. It'll take me a while, though, so.. defend me while I shut it off, kay?
Raid: Can do.
[they head out to the plaza]
[Slenderchao activates a console in the center of the plaza]
Slender: Alright, I'm starting the hack. Cover me.
Raid: Affirmative. C'mon, you heard him; let's set up some cover, guys!
[they set up some cover and wait]
[and wait]
[and wait s'more]
Slender: All done.
Fox: Wow, was that really it?
Raid: I guess we finally got a break.
Slender: That ain't a good thing, kids. 'Specially not in Left 4 Dead, but that's besides the point.
Raid: What are you implying?
Mycroft: My future self is saying that this is a warning that something REALLY bad's coming.
Slender: Pretty much. Then again, I'm not too certain.
Raid: We'll burn that bridge when we get there. C'mon, guys.
[most of the chao move on; Jack White and Slenderchao don't]
White: Now, there's something that's bothering me, Slenderchao...
Slender: Yeah-huh?
White: If you're Mycroft's future self.. then... shouldn't you remember what you've been through, and know what's coming?
Slender: It's a lot more complicated than that, Jack.
White: But am I at least correct? In theory, you SHOULD be able to, right?
Slender: No. You are not correct. In theory, I have no way of knowing what will happen in that boy's future.
White: Wha?
[close-up of Slenderchao]
Slender: In THEORY....... I could MAKE his future.
[He takes one step forward]
White: How.. in the name of jahosephats does that make the SLIGHTEST lick of sense?
Slender: This **** goes far beyond the simple concepts of a meta-show, Jack. It makes perfect sense...
[dramatic camera angles]
Slender: ..once you know the spoilers.
[Slenderchao leaves; Jack White ponders the conversation]

"Residue Processing"
(Day 3- 19:07:10)
(Dark a.k.a "Duke Nukem")
(City Underlevels)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Find Future Red}
{Go through the sewers}

[the chao come across a big gorge in the street, blocking them from progressing]
Slender: Alright, so last I checked, the Red dude you're looking for is on the other side of this trench.
Raid: Awesome. How do we get across?
Slender: You don't. You climb in and explore the sewers. 'S the best way through.
Raid: Oh... I guess we can manage that.
Slender: Sure ya can. Hey, listen, this may be inconvenient for you, but.. I've gotta go.
Raid: Snap, why?
Slender: Gotta make sure Mister Prower is alright in the hiding place I relocated him to.
Raid: Oh, okay... you do that. We'll look for Red.
Slender: I know you will. But, hey.. don't think you won't see me again.
Raid: Of course.
Slender: I'll catch up with ya... I wouldn't miss Eggman's tail getting kicked for the world. I'm out!
[Slenderchao leaves, along with his squad]
Mycroft: There goes the greatest badass who ever lived.
Raid: What about Chuck Norris?
Mycroft: Doesn't hold a candle.
Fox: Captain Falcon?
Mycroft: Pales in comparison.
Duke: Samus Aran?
Mycroft: .......****. I stand corrected.
Raid: Right, what were we thinking? After all, every calender I've ever bought was a Metroid one.
Fox: My desktop background is of Samus in her badass Phazon suit.
Mycroft: Mine's of her in her Zero Suit.
Duke: Mine's of her in her birthday suit.
[they stare at Duke]
Duke: ...NSFW?
Fox: Word.
[they hop into the trench, and into the sewers]
Petrucci: Freakin' smells down here.
Gaga: Get over it, will ya?
Petrucci: *sigh* Fine...
[they traverse through the sewers, fending off many a zombie and alien creature]
[..oh, and Brian May was dragged away by the zombies]
White: I will miss Brian May.
Mycroft: Pfft, I won't.
[they enter a door and find themselves in a very large warehouse]
Raid: Stay alert, everyone. I have a bad feeling about this.
Duke: You have a bad feeling about EVERYTHING.
Fox: Um... no, he doesn't.
Duke: ..oh.
[suddenly, they are surrounded by Chaobine soldiers, but not just ANY soldiers...]
Mycroft: These are... the fabled Dark Chaos Chao.
Raid: I'm sure they're just like all the other robots.
[...they are :P]
Mycroft: Such a shame, too. I've been hoping to be a Chaos Chao some day... I hope they're nothing like THIS.
Fox: Oh, I highly doubt they will be.
Raid: Man, this is a really big warehouse. Where the heck is the door?
Fox: Right in front of you.
Raid: .......huh.
[they open the door]
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Go through the sewers}

Chapter 11: (ACT III) "Stop Following Me"

"Charlie Rescued Me!"
(Day 3- 19:12:54)
(Red, Future a.k.a "Barney Calhoun")
(District 3)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Find Future Red}

[the chao find themselves out on the streets; this district seems to be focused around a building in the center]
Raid: Huh. Next chapter.
Fox: *yawwwwn* That took an extremely long time, didn't it?
Mycroft: What can I say? It's a street war. It's not supposed to be short.
White: Yeah, but those sewers passed by quickly.
Mycroft: Most likely because DJay's getting bored, or thinks the chapter was getting WAY too long.
Duke: Maybe both.
Raid: Hey, guys... stand back. I've got a REALLY bad feeling about this.
Gaga: About what, Raid?
Raid: Shhh...
[along the street leading to the center building is a blue line, obviously of a gun]
Raid: Snipers. Too high to reach.
Duke: Maybe we should get to the top of that center building?
Raid: That is actually a really good idea. Let's do that.
Mycroft: We don't want too many people in the line of fire of those snipers, man. **** would get real awfully fast.
Raid: Hmm... you make a good point. Gaga, Petrucci, White... you're coming with me.
[they carefully head up the street, and enter the center building]
Petrucci: Damn snipers... I could swear they're waiting... gonna pick us off, one by one.
Raid: Calm down, soldier.
Petrucci: We're not safe in here. They.. they're still waiting...
White: Would you chill, John? The game's not over yet.
Petrucci: The game may not be over, but they're still waiting for half-time, then, aren't they?
Raid: *sigh* M'lady, could you stay here with Petrucci and try to calm him down?
Gaga: Sure thing.
Raid: Jack, c'mon, we're gonna look for a way up.
White: What's wrong with the stairs?
[Raid opens the door, and reveals that the stairs leading up have collapsed]
White: Typical.
[Raid leads Jack down into the basement]
[the camera stays with John and Gaga]
Gaga: What's wrong?
Petrucci: I... I don't know. It's all this warfare stuff... I.. I just can't handle it, you know?
Gaga: Oh, John.. I know things may seem apocalyptic and hellbroken, but I assure you... everything's not lost.
Petrucci: How can you be so sure? We're going up against the whole freaking Badnik Empire!
Gaga: I'm sure because we've got Shadow Raid on our side.
Petrucci: Ohhh, I don't see all the hype in that guy.. I mean, what could he POSSIBLY do?
Gaga: Well, first of all, he supposedly came from the past.
Petrucci: Pfft, load of crock.
Gaga: As odd as it may sound... I believe him.
Petrucci: You... you DO?
Gaga: Yeah. He definitely doesn't seem to know much about the Badniks.. I'm certain he's a total outsider.
Petrucci: Now that you mention it, he DOES seem to be going in the direction of the Egg Nexus, completely oblivious...
Gaga: Oh, the Egg Nexus, ****... I had completely forgotten about that.
Petrucci: Still, it proves your point. Go on.
Gaga: Besides being from the past, he was able to escape from the city and to Cham's lab in a few hours.
Petrucci: Well... yeah, that IS pretty amazing.
Gaga: AND, he made it through Ravenholm. Then the highway. Then he was able to destroy Novella Prospekt.
Petrucci: Okay, okay, I get it! You're right. We.. we might just be able to do this.
Gaga: See? Everything's not lost. We have the One Shadow Raid... as well as the Grey One.
Petrucci: W..we have THE Grey One with us?
Gaga: Yeah, that Mycroft Holmes guy.
Petrucci: Huh. I didn't recognize him.
Gaga: Oh, and then there's Slenderchao..
Petrucci: Wait, if Mycroft is the Grey One, then that means Duke Nukem and Redd Fox are......
Gaga: ...huh, I hadn't thought of that. We might just stand more than a chance against Herr Doktor.
Petrucci: Heh, now that you mention it... YES, we DO! Haha! Thanks, ma'am.
Gaga: Anytime.
[Lady Gaga slaps John Petrucci in the face]
Gaga: Now don't you EVER pull that EVER again, you hear me, soldier?
Petrucci: Ow! Alright!
[a door opens in front of them; Raid is there]
Raid: Guys, we found another staircase. Let's go. Petrucci, you up for this?
Petrucci: Yeah, I'm thrilled.
[they head up the stairs to the top floor]
[Future Red is there]
RedF: Hey, Raid! Could you.. give me a little help?
Raid: Sure, with the snipers?
RedF: No, I want to bake a ****ing cake. Just toss some grenades at 'em, man.
Raid: Got it. White, you take that sniper over there. Gaga, take the one opposite me. Petrucci?
Petrucci: It's fine. I can do this. I've calmed down.
Raid: Good, so you can take that sniper opposite White's. I'll take this one.
[..and.. they uneventfully throw grenades into the windows the snipers are perched in]
RedF: Thanks, dude.
Raid: No prob. Now that we've met up, maybe you can tell me how to get to the citadel so we can get there?
RedF: Oh, there's a slight problem with that plan. C'mon. Let's have us one o' them walk-n-talks.
[they go back down the stairs and regroup with the others]
Raid: Alright, what is it we need to know, Red?
RedF: First of all, call me "Barney Calhoun."
Raid: Kay, Barney. What's up?
Barney: You see, up ahead is this big.. bank, or museum, or.. whatever it was, it's gone now. The badniks got to it.
Gaga: Oh, you're talking about THAT, aren't you?
Barney: Yeah, see, they've converted it to the Egg Nexus.
Raid: *gulp* The... Egg Nexus? What is that?
Mycroft: Think of it like this: the Egg Citadel's got the final boss, so the Nexus has the semi-final one.
Raid: Oh. And... and I'm fighting him all by myself?
Mycroft: We'll discuss that later.
Barney: Yeah, but you see... it's not easy to invade. It's gonna require a muli-step invasion.
Mycroft: He's right. It's a freaking ***** to invade. An EPIC *****, mind you, but... still a *****.
Raid: Well, how close are we?
Barney: Right around the corner. C'mon.
Raid: Oh, boy. Okay...
[Barney leads them into a building]
Barney: ...anybody hear a moose?
Fox: No.
Petrucci: Not at all.
Barney: Damn thing still haunts me...

"Egg Nexus: Not By the Hairs on My Chinny-Chin Chin"
(Day 3- 19:26:42)
(Shade the Dark, a.k.a "Mycroft Holmes")
(Egg Nexus exterior, District 2)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Infiltrate and disable the Egg Nexus}

[the chao go up some stairs into a small building]
[they come across a window that reveals a large museum-looking building, with a big roof and huge courtyard in front]
Barney: There you have it, Raid. The Egg Nexus.
Raid: Whoa. Well, we may as well plan the raid out now. How are we gonna do this?
Mycroft: Breaking in will be easy. Just follow us.
Barney: Yeah, but when we're in there... shutting things down may be difficult.
Mycroft: Then, once we've shut things down, we should have roof access.
Raid: Why do we want roof access?
Barney: It's, like... something to do with reinforcements.
Raid: Oh.
Mycroft: Of course, once the Egg Nexus is shut down, you can bet this square will be teeming with soldiers.
Barney: Ah, yes. Eggman won't take too kindly to shutting down this stronghold.
Raid: It won't be too bad, though, right, Mycroft?
Mycroft: WELLLLL......
Raid: Is it harder than the Antlion Guards?
Mycroft: Con.....siiiiiderably.
Raid: ****. Will I be on my own?
Mycroft: Like I said, we'll discuss that later. For now, let's stick to discussing the outline of the plan.
Raid: Right. So, once we get roof access, then what?
Mycroft: Well, while you're trying to get the access, Barney over here will press on ahead to the next district.
Barney: District 1.
Raid: District ONE?! We're THAT close?
Mycroft: Yeah, but it's a heavily-guarded district, you know.
Raid: So... once I've got roof access, I'll have to fight my way out of the Egg Nexus and to District 1 where we'll regroup?
Barney: Pretty much. Once we've regrouped, we'll find a way into the Egg Citadel.
Raid: Okay, so that's it? We can do this!
[Mycroft shakes his head]
Mycroft: Love your enthusiasm, kid, but this is arguably the hardest part of the game, right here. Wellll....
Raid: Well?
Mycroft: It's debatable, but some say the Nexus is the hardest part, while most say the part AFTER it is.
Raid: District 1?
Mycroft: The journey TO District 1.
Raid: Hm. Well, we'll burn that bridge when we get there. We've gotten this far. Nowhere to go but forward.
Mycroft: That's the spirit. You ready to go?
Raid: Hell yes.
Barney: Then everybody, take your last bathroom breaks or whatever.
[Barney loads his weapon]
Barney: We're beginning the assault.
[everyone takes care of their last bathroom break or whatever, then gathers in the next room]
Barney: Okay. Mycroft and I will take point until we get to the building.
Mycroft: White, come on up here. You're pairing with Raid for this.
White: Alright.
Mycroft: Petrucci, you and Gaga stick behind Raid and White. Back them up at all costs.
Gaga: Roger that, chief.
Mycroft: Fox, Duke, take the caboose. Take any stragglers. Two by two, everybody!
[a camera spots them]
Barney: ****, so much for stealth; we've been spotted!
Mycroft: Let's go! Stick together!
[they head down some stairs and to a street in front of the Egg Nexus' courtyard]
Mycroft: Oh, one more thing--
Raid: WHAT THE **** WAS THAT?!
Mycroft: The badniks can fire lasers out of the sky, but just out here. They'll stop once the Egg Nexus is down.
Raid: That... that was NOT what I expected.
Barney: Enough chitter-chatter. To get into the courtyard, we've got to go around these forcefields.
Raid: Seriously, couldn't you guys have told me about the forcefields beforehand?
Barney: Hey, relax. We're taking point. Just follow us.
[Mycroft and Barney lead the group down the street, watching out for any OMG WTF LAZER HAXes]
[they waltz on into a small building at the end of the street and kill some soldiers]
[they then open a door and find themselves in the courtyard]
Barney: C'mon, let's keep it moving; there's another forcefield stopping us from reaching the building.
[they fight off more soldiers, dodge more LAZORZ and enter another small building]
[..and kill more soldiers, then exit through another door, and find themselves just outside the Egg Nexus]
Barney: Nearly there. We gotta go around to the side door. C'mon.
[Barney leads them to the side door; they enter it]
{OBECTIVE COMPLETE- Infiltrate the Egg Nexus}

"Egg Nexus: Search and Disable"
(Day 3- 19:32:32)
(Michael Urkel a.k.a. "Johnny Gioeli")
(Egg Nexus interior, District 2)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Disable the Egg Nexus}

[the side door took them to a quiet hallway]
Barney: We're in. Everyone here?
[everyone is here]
Mycroft: Yeah, everyone's here. Raid, you mind taking point from here?
Raid: I guess, but... where do we go?
Mycroft: Well, we're looking for three generators.
Barney: Obvious ones. Ya can't miss 'em.
Raid: Oh. Okay. Let's go, guys.
[Raid leads them into the nex-- BEEP BEEP]
[before they enter the next room, turrets rise from the floor]
Raid: Whoa!
Mycroft: Duke, explosives!
Duke: Got it!
[Duke fires explosives at the turrets; they go ka-blooey]
[NOW they enter the next room]
[Chaobine city!]
[budda budda budda budda]
[they move on to the next room, and up some stairs]
Raid: ...shh! You guys hear that?
?: Help! Please!
White: It was coming from this room, right here.
[they enter the room, and find some rebels stuck behind a force field]
Rebel1: You there! Please, shut the force field off!
Raid: Sure thing. *shuts off*
Rebel1: Thanks, dude. The name's Jun Senoue.
Duke: Awesome name.
Jun: Thanks. My pal here is codenamed Johnny Gioeli.
Gioeli: 'Sup?
Raid: Welcome to the team, guys. We're taking this place down.
Gioeli: Rock n' roll!
[they leave the room, and some turrets rise from the floor]
Raid: Duke?
Duke: Yah?
Raid: Nuke 'em.
[in the next room is a crazy energy orb being held in place by machines]
Barney: Kid, that's one of the generators. You know what to do.
Raid: I.... do?
Mycroft: Use what we have taught you, young grasshopper.
[Raid examines the scene carefully]
Raid: Hmmm.... ah-ha!
[Raid shunts the energy orb with a burst from the gravity gun; it flies around and disintegrates]
Mycroft: We have taught you well.
Barney: Two to go. Let's go!
Raid: Got it.
[they leave the room, and are ambushed by regular and Chaos Chaobine]
[..of course, our heroes win. They're a really big squad.]
[they find a strange bridge and cross it to another branch of the Egg Nexus]
[they check out a random room, and are instantly locked in]
Fox: Crap.
Raid: Brace yourselves, guys.
[they hear dozens of footsteps running to a door opposite them]
[beep beep]
[...beep beep...]
[...beep beep...]
[The door is blasted open, and Chaobine soldiers storm in]
[budda budda budda budda budda]
[Guess who is left standing?]
Fox: Man, these fights are getting REALLY easy.
Mycroft: Pfft, yeah, 'cause there're, like... nine, ten of us.
[they keep moving and find another generator]
Raid: I got this. *SHUNT*
Barney: Nice job. We've only one left.
Raid: This is all going much too easily.
Mycroft: Heh... good to see you're catching on.
Raid: Wha?
Mycroft: Duke, Fox? When we were going through Half-Life 1, do you remember when it went REALLY easily?
Fox: Uh... yeah, during "Forget about Freeman," right? Right after Surface Tension?
Mycroft: And what followed that?
Fox: Lambda Core, and then Xen.
Mycroft: And how hard was the rest of the game?
Duke+Fox: ****ing impossible.
Mycroft: So, kid, you've got that to look forward to. We're close to the end of the game.
Raid: Oh... gee, thanks for THAT pep talk.
Mycroft: Don't be like that. You're learning. You only have to worry about the journey to District 1.
Raid: Fine... let's just hurry up and shut off the last generator.
Barney: You heard the kid; hurry up, let's go!
[they travel to another wing of the Egg Nexus]
[the next room is filled with lasers and mines]
Raid: ......okay, so this IS kinda hard.
Mycroft: Do it. You'll find it's not as tough as it looks.
Raid: *sigh* Fine. Wait here, guys.
[Raid enters the room and looks for some ways around the lasers]
Raid: Huh. Looks like I'm gonna have to do this the hard way.
[he crawls under one laser, hops over another, sneaks around one, rolls under another]
[he hops across the machines in the room and dodges the mines]
[at the other end of the room, he hits a button and switches the lasers off]
[the others enter the room and come to him]
[in the next room is the final generator]
Barney: C'mon, Raid. Finish this.
Raid: Gladly. *SHUNT*
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Disable the Egg Nexus}

"Egg Nexus: Ain't No Beatles Gig"
(Day 3- 19:52:01}
(Frederick Todd Jenkins a.k.a "John Petrucci")
(Egg Nexus roof, District 2)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}
{Obtain roof access}

Mycroft: Well, Raid... you wanted your hard part. You're about to get it.
Raid: Right...
Barney: I'll take point now! Follow close!
[Barney leads them back down to the bottom floor, dealing with tons of soldiers]
[they go through a small hallway and come to a door]
Barney: Alright, guys. This is where we part.
Raid: Bye, Barney. See ya in District 1.
Barney: Yeah, see ya. Senoue, Gioeli, could you back me up?
Jun: Sure thing.
[Jun Senoue and Johnny Gioeli go with Barney]
Raid: Well... let's get this over with.
[they head up the stairs and reach door to the roof]
Mycroft: Before we head out there, we need to talk.
Raid: Yes, we do. Am I going to be on my own during the hard part?
Mycroft: Most likely.
Raid: ..great. Okay, let's go.
[they head out the door and begin fighting the hordes of soldiers]


[cut to Eggman's office in the Egg Citadel]
[Eggman is talking on a monitor to someone]
Egg: The Egg Nexus has been deactivated. They're... they're coming for me.
Egg: I'm NOT being paranoi..well, I AM, but with good reason! That chao.. Shadow Raid.. he's a madman.
Egg: ..well... but...
Egg: Hmph. Very well. Verrrry well. Please do. Oh, and... feel free to use maximum firepower.
[Eggman laughs evilly as the screen fades out]

[cut to the Egg Nexus rooftop; the chao have just fought their way to the other side]
[they have opened access to a bridge that allows reinforcements to spawn indefinitely]
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Obtain roof access}

"When the Poop Hits the Paddle..."
(Day 3- 19:57:23)
(Shadow a.k.a "Shadow Raid")
(District 2)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}

Raid: Alright, are you guys leaving me now?
Mycroft: Kinda-sorta. We'll just be up here.. in case things go horribly, horribly wrong.
Duke: Which they probably will.
Raid: Well.. wish me luck. I'm going down. By myself.
[Raid heads down some stairs]
Mycroft: ...he is SO dead.
White: Why did you send him down if you knew he was gonna die?
Mycroft: Well.. he needs to be tested.
White: Screw this; I'm going down with him.
[Jack White heads down the stairs]
Mycroft: ..aren't you two going down, too?
Petrucci: Me? You kiddin'?
Gaga: If White Stripes over there wants to get himself killed, I say let him.
[cut to Raid; he reached the bottom floor and is approaching the door to outside]
White: Wait up!
[White regroups with him]
Raid: You comin', too?
White: Hell yeah. We badasses have to stick together.
Raid: This is probably a suicide run, you know.
White: It won't be that bad. Now, come on.
[they exit the door]
[outside, giant tripod badniks are walking around, blowing things up]
[a random rebel soldier is seen shooting a tripod, which then proceeds to charge up a powerful beam]
[the soldier disintegrates]
Raid: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ****.
White: ..okay, so it might be a TEENSY bit harder than I had predicted. But we can still manage.
Raid: Dude... there's five of 'em.
White: It'll just take a while.
[they run outside and take cover]
Raid: Okay... I'm gonna try shooting a rocket at it.
Raid: ...another.
Raid: One more.
Raid: One more should do it.
Raid: Ahhhhh, **** you, man.
[BOOM; rooaaarrr.... die]
Raid: Okay! Five rockets kill one.
White: We have seven.
Raid: ...perfect.
[they hear a large crash coming from the center of the courtyard]
Raid: What...
[they hear the tripods fire at something]
White: The...
[they hear all the tripods explode]
Both: Nuclear-equipped walking battle tank?
[they peek over the cover]
[everything is on fire]
[in the center of all the rubble is a lone figure, crouching]
Raid: What IS that?
White: Is it a badnik?
Raid: I think the more important question is... is it friend or foe?
[the figure slowly stands up]
[Mycroft is heard shouting "HOLY ****CAKES!"]
[it slowly steps towards Raid and White]
White: Whatever it is, it's got elflike shoes.
Raid: It's got blood-red eyes.
White: It's got a cape.
Raid: Worst of all... I think it's a robot.
?: This is quite amusing, you know...
Raid: Wh..what is?
?: The fact that you do not recognize me. I have saved your life more times than you even know.
Raid: So.. so you're our ally?
?: Now, I wouldn't say "ally..." I am merely your acquaintance. And you have pissed off my #1 client.
Raid: Who's that?
?: Herr Robotnik. He was paying me BIIIIG bucks to control the streets of Robotnikland 17.
White: *gasp* No way.. you're The Cremator.
?: Some have called me by that name.
Raid: You control the streets? You haven't been doing a very good job, then.
?: Yes, well, when you blew up Novella Prospekt, I was called in to.. clean up the rubble. And the coasts.
Raid: You've been killing the rebels in the outposts?
?: Hahaha... yes. And I was just about to bomb the antlion nests when Herr Doktor called me in with some shocking news.
Raid: The Egg Nexus...
?: I must say, I am very impressed. I never expected a CHAO to shut down such a building.
White: Well, for the record, there were, like.. nine of us. Including Mycroft Holmes.
?: M..what? Wait, what?
White: Mycroft Holmes. The codename for Sh--nobody!
?: "Sh.." who?
White: Doesn't matter.
?: Hmmmm... yes. Doesn't matter. At least.. not for YOU.
Raid: Enough! Who ARE you?
[Mycroft suddenly drops in, wielding his crowbar]
Mycroft: Metal Sonic...
White: Mycroft!
MS: Ah, yes... Shade. Of course, it all makes sense now.
Mycroft: You want me. Don't mess with these guys if you want me.
MS: I'll mess with whoever I want.
Mycroft: Like hell, you will!
[Metal glares at Mycroft]
MS: You are pushing my patience, Shade. You're lucky I haven't done any cremating just yet.
Raid: Just let us pass by. We only want to get to District 1.
MS: Let you pass by? What, should I also sit around while you assassinate herr Doktor?
Mycroft: Relax. We're not gonna assassinate him. We just want to talk with him.
MS: He's my biggest client. I can't take any chances. For instance!
[Metal pulls out a freaky sword]
MS: This sword may be old-fashioned, but it gets the job done. I don't want to take chances on whether or not you die.
[Mycroft wields his crowbar]
[they stare off for a bit]
MS: ...prepare to be cremated!
[Metal charges at Mycroft, who hops out of the way; Metal turns on a dime and follows]
Mycroft: Eah! *dodge*
MS: What's the matter, Shade? *chase* Did you forget who I am?
Mycroft: No! *dodge* Well.... *dodge* ...sorta. *dodge*
[they continue the game of cat-and-mouse for a bit before Mycroft stumbles]
[suddenly, Jack White leaps into the fray and tugs onto Metal's cape, making Metal stumble, as well]
[Metal shakes Jack off]
MS: I'll deal with YOU later, runt.
[he launches himself into the air; Mycroft jumps out of the way as Metal lands]
Mycroft: Duke! Duke!
Duke: Got it, chief!
[Duke tosses his RPG from afar]
[it hits, and a large explosion covers the ground]
[the chao watch closely to see if Metal survived]
Mycroft: ....I think... I think we did it, guys. Yeah! I think we actually beat Met--
[suddenly, two robotic arms extend from within and grab Mycroft]
[as they detract back into the cloud, Raid uses his gravity gun to pull them back]
Mycroft: Pull, dude! Pull!
Raid: (strained) I'm... I'm trying!
MS: Muahahaha...
Raid: What's.. what's so funny?
MS: Oh, nothing... just the fact that, while you're trying, I'm NOT!
[Metal's arms retract extremely quickly]
Mycroft: ****!!!
[Petrucci and Gaga come down to the courtyard, then run into the cloud]
[struggles are heard; the cloud slowly fades]
[Metal is gone]
Raid: Wha? Where did he go?
[Redd Fox and Duke Nukem have now come down, too]
Fox: I think the more important question is... when will he return?
[Duke helps Mycroft up]
Duke: Whoa, Holmes, are you alright?
Mycroft: *cough cough* Ugh... not too bad... I don't think Metal was able to do anything too rash.
Petrucci: We'd better get outta here before he comes back.
Raid: John is right. We'd best hightail it out of here.
White: Let's get a move on, then. District 1 isn't far from here.
Raid: Yeah, let's go.
[they head out of the courtyard; Mycroft slowly walks forward]
Duke: C'mon, Shade. Put your arm over my shoulder.
Mycroft: *does that* Thanks, Dark... *hack wheeze* ugh...
Duke: What did he...?
[Mycroft reveals his stomach (which he was covering to this point); blood covers it]
Mycroft: I *cough* ..didn't want to worry you guys.
Duke: You are a true badass, sir.
Mycroft: Dark..... I never told you this, but... it's been a real pleasure with you as my number one.
Duke: Wha? But.. no! We're.. you're...
Mycroft: Dark. Look at me. I'm about to tell you something I have never told ANYBODY in my entire life.
[Mycroft looks at Duke right in the eyes]
Mycroft: You will rule the garden when I am gone. You have always been my best friend, and... I love you.
[tears build in Duke's eyes]
Duke: Sh..Shade... sir... you're not going to die. We're getting you out of this!
[Duke starts walking and pulling Mycroft with him]
Mycroft: Dark...
Duke: We've.. *sniff* ..we've only got a little bit left! The game's nearly over!
Mycroft: Don't you get it, Dark? Metal's gonna come back! He's.. he's...
[Mycroft feels tears, and attempts to hold them back]
[...but he ends up sobbing over Duke's shoulder]
Mycroft: (crying) He's gonna come back, and he's gonna finish what he started!
Duke: Sh....Shade... you.. you're crying...
Mycroft: (crying) You're damn right I'm crying! I'm no badass.. I'm just a chao. And.. I.. I can't take this.
Duke: Shade, listen to ME for a second, okay? I'm going to tell you something I have never said before, EVER.
[Mycroft sniffles and looks at Duke]
Duke: ...I will not let Metal touch you. Even if I have to fight him personally.
Mycroft: ....aw, geez, Dark... *sob* you... you... you're..... thank...
Duke: Shh, shh, shhh.. it's alright.
[Duke looks at Mycroft right in the eyes]
Duke: Now... are you going to continue crying to me about Metal, or are you going to go out there and finish this game?
[Mycroft sniffles and thinks]
Duke: Remember, there's a kid out there who is depending on your mentorship to make it through this alive.
Mycroft: You're... you're right. Shadow needs me now more than ever. I.. I shouldn't be crying. I should be helping him.
[Mycroft hugs Duke]
Mycroft: Thanks, Dark. You're a true pal.. and you always have been. C'mon, let's go.
Duke: There's the Shade I know and love.
[Duke supports Mycroft as they walk along to the next street]

"...It Goes Splat"
(Day 3- 20:12:14)
(Metal Sonic a.k.a "The Cremator")
(District 2 underpass)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}

[the chao head down some stairs and find themselves in an underground tunnel]
Raid: Mycroft, everything okay?
Mycroft: Yes. We were just... planning out how to do this next part.
Raid: Ah, yes.. about this next part...
Mycroft: ...*remembers* Aw, crap.
Raid: What?
Mycroft: Kid... no matter what, we're here to back you up.
Raid: Wait.. what?
[they slowly turn around]
[The Cremator is far away, at the other end of the tunnel]
Raid: Run. Run now.
Mycroft: You heard the man; let's go, doubletime!
[they run as fast as they can; Duke is still trying to help Mycroft through]
Mycroft: Duke, go on ahead! I.. I think I can run.
[Duke lets go and runs ahead; Mycroft attempts to run, but trips]
[The Cremator chuckles, pulls out his sword, and runs toward Mycroft]
Duke: RAID!
[the others stop running, turn, and see the situation]
[they quickly run to Mycroft's aid]
Raid: C'mon, Holmes, don't die on me now. No man left behind.
Mycroft: ...I've taught you well, kid.. *cough*
Crem: Perhaps a little TOO well?
[The Cremator is standing next to them]
Duke: **** off, Cremator!
Crem: Well, that's not a very nice thing to say...
Duke: Oh, I'm sorry; I just.. got a bit defensive.
Crem: No, no, I understand. After all, I've almost killed Shade, and all...
Duke: Yeah, and... yeah. You know, you're not such a bad guy.
Crem: Really? Well, that gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside! Thank you!
Duke: No problem! ...say, what happened to you? I mean... I'm sure you've died multiple times now.
Crem: What, you mean during the Instability War? Yeah, well... the Veteran's Committee... they thought I'd be best for this.
Duke: Oh, of course... the Veteran's Committee. Do you.. do you work for them, or something?
Crem: Well... to tell you the truth... I'm actually a mole. I work for them only as a cover.
Duke: O rly?
Crem: Ya rly. I mean, they're trying to end DCA, and that's NO good. So, I'm finding out what their plans are.
Duke: Cool. And what ARE their plans?
Crem: So far, I've found out that they want to use Shadow to get the chaos drives for their own gain.
Duke: R..really? And what could the chaos drives do for them?
Crem: I haven't quite figured that out yet.
Duke: Ah. Okay.
[The Cremator looks, and finds that the others had run off during the conversation]
Crem: Aw, dammit. Why do they always run?
Duke: Want me to go fetch 'em for ya?
Crem: Oh, you'd do that?
Duke: Of course! You can trust me.
Crem: Well, that'd be swell. Thanks!
[Duke runs off to find the others]
[Duke enters a building that happens to be in the tunnel]
Duke: Guys? You there?
Raid: Shhh! Up here!
[Duke heads up some stairs, and finds them]
Raid: Nice job stalling for us. Now, we were able to find out that the entrance to District 1 is somewhere in here.
Mycroft: On the third floor, yeah. So c'mon, let's go.
[they head up some more stairs, and search for any doors]
[...but there are none]
[--wait, no, there's one. xD Of course.]
Raid: Quick, quick, get in!
[they run in the door]

"Pale Horse"
(Day 3- 20:20:44)
(Ivo Robotnik a.k.a "Doctor Eggman")
(District 1)
(Robotnikland 17, Egg Country)
{Journey to the Egg Citadel}

[cut to District 1: a bunch of streets revolving around one large building in the center]
[a horse statue is visible in the distance]
Raid: We made it.. the hard part is over.
Mycroft: Mostly. This part's not quite a walk in the park, either.
Raid: Wonderful. Where do we go?
Mycroft: To that horse statue at the other side of the district. Barney's waiting for us there.
Raid: But.. there's tons of rubble blocking the street leading to there!
Mycroft: That's why we go into that building in the middle.
[they head into the building, and drop down into the basement]
[they hear Chaobine radio chatter]
Gaga: Ohh, I've never been so happy to hear Chaobine in my life. ..let's kill 'em.
[they move through the basement, killing Chaobine]
[they then head up the stairs, finding that the building is in ruin]
[the second floor has been blasted apart, and there is no longer a roof]
Raid: I think we can go through the ruined second floor and jump out a window to get to the statue.
Mycroft: Now you're thinking.
[they head up to the second floor, killing more Chaobine]
[the "islands" of the ruined second floor are all connected by girders, or nothing at all]
Raid: Okay... easy does it...
[they hop across some patches of the floor 'til they reach the center of the building]
Fox: What was that?
[The Cremator flies above the building]
Crem: Guess who, kiddies!
[the chao scream]
Duke: Um.. I found them for you!
Crem: Yeah, yeah, I know you secretly snuck off with them. Besides...
[he pulls out a machine gun]
Crem: I was gonna kill you, anyway!
Duke: *gasp* You monster!
Crem: Hahahaha! Eat lead!
[The Cremator flies around, firing at them]
Raid: Aw, crap!
Duke: ...you messed with Shade. You made him cry. Nobody makes Shade cry and gets away with it.
[Duke tosses Final Fantasy VII at The Cremator; it just misses]
Crem: Whoa! Watch where you're throwing that thing!
[...and, as it's coming back, it strikes him in the back of the head]
[he falls to the ground; Duke hops down to the first floor to finish the fight]
[The Cremator gets up]
Crem: Ugh... you insufferable rogue!
Duke: You're gonna pay for what you did.
Crem: As will you.
[The Cremator whips out his machine gun again and opens fire]
[Duke ducks behind a rock, and pulls out his trusty RPG]
Crem: Hiding won't help you! I have legs, you know.
[The Cremator walks around the rock, but Duke is no longer there]
[he scratches his head in confusion]
Duke: HEY, UGLY!
[The Cremator looks up and sees Duke on the platform with the others]
Duke: Time to show you what we Darks are made of.
[Duke throws his RPG]
[and once more]
[and one final time]
[once all the smoke clears, they find that The Cremator is trapped in rubble]
Crem: Argh! Freakin'.. rocks...
Raid: Let's get out of here, NOW!
[they run along the platforms and jump out a window]
[they land on a street, and run to the horse statue]
[Barney is waiting for them there]
Barney: Hey, you made it! ..whoa, what happened to Holmes?
Mycroft: The Cremator... he's cleaning the streets.
Barney: Aw, ****! We'd better hurry, then. See, the Egg Citadel is just past this Badnik Wall.
[there is a Badnik Wall at the end of the street, but it won't budge]
Barney: See, I think it might be best if we find a way around it.
Mycroft: No time! *hack wheeze* We have.. no time for that.
Barney: Well, what else CAN we do?
[The Cremator has landed on the street]
Crem: Leaving so soon?
Barney: Mycroft... what's the plan?
Mycroft: There's a way under the Badnik Wall. We just have to get down there.
Crem: What are you guys talking about? Your inevitable deaths?
[The Cremator steps forward]
Crem: You know, I'm done playing. The game is over. I'm really going to shoot you now.
[he pulls out a pistol]
Crem: And I'm doing it with a pistol.
[the chao look at each other]
Raid: Duke.
Duke: Got it, chief.
[Duke throws his RPG at The Cremator]
Crem: RPGs won't help you here.
[The Cremator shoots at the ground by their feet]
Crem: Perhaps you weren't taking me seriously enough. I'm good with pistols. Really good.
[he points it at Mycroft]
Crem: And I'm more than willing to shoot your beloved Shade.
Mycroft: Why do you want ME?
Crem: I was given specific instructions to kill "Shade the Dark." That, and we've known each other for a while.
Mycroft: Who gave you the instructions?
Crem: Isn't it obvious by now? The Veteran's Committee! They know you are the star of the show, and want you dead.
Mycroft: But... but Shadow's the star now.
Crem: He's simply the protagonist. You still have quite a following, Dark Lord.
[Mycroft thinks things through]
Crem: Enough talking. Let's end this.
Barney: Yes, let's. Gioeli, Senoue! Formation Phi.
Gioeli: HUAH!
Senoue: LET'S ROCK!
[Johnny throws mines into the battlefield; Jun grabs The Cremator with a grappling hook and pulls him towards the mines]
Crem: Oh shi
Crem: Hmph, so you guys have some new tricks up your sleeve. So do I.
[The Cremator flips his cape over himself and becomes invisible]
Petrucci: Holy crabcakes!
Senoue: Don't worry, guys. I've still got him with the grappling hook!
[suddenly, the grappling hook becomes really light]
[Jun pulls it back, and finds that it is no longer grabbing anything]
Senoue: Uh-oh.
[Mycroft is lifted into the air]
Mycroft: Found him found him get him hurry!!!
[Duke tosses his RPG]
[Fox shoots with his AR2]
[Raid picks up a rock with the gravity gun and chucks it]
[Petrucci, White, and Gaga shoot with whatever gun they have]
[Barney fires with Duke's shotgun]
[Johnny tosses mines]
[Jun throws the hook again and again]
[finally, Mycroft uses his last strengths to pull out his crowbar and thrust it forward]
[sparks fly; Mycroft is dropped (and runs like hell); The Cremator becomes visible]
Crem: This was not predicted.
[The Cremator is sent flying]
Crem: Looks like Team Rocket is blasting off again!
[the chao cheer]
Raid: We.. we did it! We actually did it!
Barney: We did, yeah.. that was pretty awesome, right there.
Mycroft: Now, about this Badnik Wall... Jun Senoue!
Senoue: Yes?
Mycroft: Place your grappling hook under it, right about.. here.
[he does that]
Mycroft: Now, everybody pull!
[everyone pulls the rope/whatever, and the wall lifts]
Mycroft: Raid... go in! Go in now!
Raid: M..me? Alone?
Mycroft: You can do it, kid... we believe in you.
Raid: But.. but the Egg Citadel is HUGE!
Mycroft: Don't worry, we'll try to find our own way in. Just go!
Raid: Okay! Okay.
[Raid runs to under the wall, and drops down into a hole]
Barney: And if you see Doctor Eggman, tell him I said... "FU*wall drops and crashes* YOU!"
[smoke fills the underground passageway]
Raid: Calm down, Shadow... you can do this.
[he gets hit on the head with something-- a crowbar!]
Mycroft: KID! TAKE IT!
Raid: Thank you!
[Raid equips the crowbar]
Raid: I guess it's time for me to become a badass.
{OBJECTIVE COMPLETE- Journey to the Egg Citadel}