I'm finally on a roll! :D

LAST TIME, ON DCA:
[cut to Shadow, the green Dark chao, sitting in a red chair]
Shadow: Hey, there. The name's Shadow, but I go by my codename, "Raid."
[clips of the previous episode are shown]
Raid: So, two years ago, the famous Solid Shade died in a big tanker incident. Oil was spilled all over the Hudson River.
[clips of that]
Raid: What's more, the deadly WMD, Metal Gear Eeksuu, was stolen that day. It was a truly dark day...
[clips of that, too]
Raid: So, the government made this oil clean-up facility and stuff. But, it was recently hijacked!
[camera pan of the Big Shell, the oil clean-up facility in the middle of the river]
Raid: The terrorists who hijacked it, "Splintered Cell," are threatening to blow it up, spilling oil across the river again!
[random clips]
Raid: I gotta go in there and stop them. Oh, and the US president is being held hostage, too.
[a picture of the president is shown]
Raid: What's happened so far: I've seen two of the terrorists-- a really lucky girl, and a weird vampire guy.
[clips of Honey and the weird vampire chao are shown]
Raid: Then, I met Lieutenant Snake Pliskin, a military guy who seems oddly familiar...
[a picture of a gray Dark chao holding a pistol in a Navy uniform is shown]
Raid: Together, we found this bomb disposal guy who told us how to disarm these bombs scattered across the facility.
[a picture of Shawn the Dark, wearing a cop outfit, and holding a cane, is shown]
Raid: One more thing... I heard from some guy, probably a terrorist...
[cut to the Big Shell, Strut C, the bathroom]
Raid: ....th..th....they're gonna end DCA?

DARK CHAO ADVENTURES
Season 7 (AKA Season 6, part two)
Episode Fifty-six
The Game-Maker Must Be Crazy! part three:
"The Insane Documentations of Metal Gear Shade 2"
[this eppy is a certified REMASTERED episode. Basically, bigger plots, bigger plot TWISTS, more characters, and just plain BETTER SCRIPTS!]

[Raid exits the bathroom after freezing the bomb]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Pliskin, I've just defused the first bomb.
Pliskin: Good job, kid. I'm working on my second right now.
Raid: But, listen... when I was in there, I--
Pliskin: *BOOM* O SNAP, sorry, Raid; I gotta go fight some bad guys.
Raid: But--
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Raid: ...this isn't good.
Chapter 1: Botanicus Bombio Defusium
[Raid goes around the facility, defusing bombs in each of the struts, but at one point...]
[BEEP BEEP!]
?: Be careful... there are Claymore mines around there.
Raid: What? Who are you?
?: Just call me..... Deepthroat.
Raid: "Deepthroat?" You mean from CPAK?
?: Mister X, then.
Raid: "Mister X?" Why the heck would it matter if I called you "Deepthroat?"
X: Never mind that. Let's just say that I'm one of your fans.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[then, as Raid is investigating the many struts, he stumbles upon the female Shade talking on a radio]
[he hides as she talks]
Radio: I've taken care of that bothersome fly... any news with you?
SShade: I guess. I just saw someone dressed as a cyborg ninja, complete with the sword.
Radio: What? Are you sure it was not just a Libfairy unit?
SShade: What sort of fool are you to assume that I do not know the difference? I know what I saw.
Radio: Alright. We'll intensify patrol.
SShade: Oh, and.. there's a man sneaking around in a cardboard box.
Radio: ...a... cardboard box?
SShade: You don't believe me, do you? He's on the Shell 2 bridge.
Radio: No, I believe you. I've seen someone use that tactic before. Traps will be planted on the bridge.
SShade: That's all. Over and out.
[she stops using the radio, and Raid sneaks up on her]
Raid: (pointing the gun at her) Freeze! You're a part of Splintered Cell, aren't you?
SShade: Of course not! What a thing to say.
Raid: Drop your gun!
SShade: I'm not even HOLDING a gun.
Raid: ..oh. Well... um... still, stand down!
SShade: Not a chance.
[she jumps out into the water; Raid looks, and she's not in the water]
Raid: ...weird.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Pliskin, this is Raid. I just encountered some woman...
Pliskin: That was the female Shade, then.
Raid: Are you sure?
Pliskin: Unlike you, I have been briefed.
Raid: Is she Splintered Cell?
Pliskin: No, she's the commander of the random enemy troops you'll see around here.
Raid: Oh, okay. Just asking.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[he continues looking around, defusing bombs, until...]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: This is Raid. I've just defused another bomb. This one was hidden in a pile of adult magazines.
Shawn: That... that can't be right...
Raid: What do you mean?
Shawn: I know Fatcham. If he were serious about this, he'd have planted the bombs in entirely different locations, so when they explode, the whole facility would go down...
Raid: So, what? Are they dummy mines?
Shawn: I don't know. I asked Pliskin to investigate something related to this for me, though, so...
Pliskin: Shawn. I checked the bottom of Strut H for you.
Raid: Three-way Codec Conversations FTW!
Shawn: What did you find?
Pliskin: Tons and tons of C4 strapped to the bottom.
Shawn: Called it! I knew it... those were the REAL threat.
Pliskin: And there's more, too.
Shawn: What?
Pliskin: These are Sensor-Proof. New model, I guess. They don't have any smell, so the sensors can't detect them.
Shawn: UGH, I should have KNOWN not to underestimate Fatcham like that...
Pliskin: Imma gunna try the spray from a distance...
Shawn: NO, hold on a bit. Let me think about this... you still have one bomb left, right, Pliskin?
Pliskin: Right.
Shawn: Find it and defuse it-- I'll take care of the big bomb. You, too, Raid.
Raid: Got it.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Chapter 2: Botanicus Deepathus Crapium
[Raid goes and defuses his last bomb]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: This is Raid. I've defused the last bomb at this end of the facility.
Shawn: Good. I've found the big bomb... it's interesting. The bomb hasn't been activated yet, but the sensors are live...
Raid: What does it mean?
Shawn: ......
Pliskin: This is Pliskin. I've found my last bomb, and am about to defuse it.
Shawn: ..of course! PLISKIN! STOP!
[too late-- a hissing sound is heard as the spray freezes the last bomb]
[...beep, beep, beep, beep, beep]
Shawn: I KNEW IT! Fatcham wired it so the big bombs don't activate until all the little ones are down!
Pliskin: Aw, crap...
Shawn: The other big bomb is bound to be activ--
Raid: OTHER big bomb?
Shawn: Yes, one under Shell 1. Your end of the facility. Raid, can you go and defuse it? Hurry!
Raid: How much time is left?
Shawn: According to my calculations, there should be... around 300 seconds left. It should be under Strut A.
Pliskin: Raid, go! Go!
Raid: Okay!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid dashes to Strut A, and looks thoroughly around for any bombs]
Raid: Where IS it?
[BEEP BEEP!]
Shawn: Raid...... I fell for it.
Raid: What? Fell for what?
Shawn: Fatcham has my number. Proximity trigger. Microwave.
Raid: You don't mean...
Shawn: It's not a trick I taught him. I'll be gone in 30 seconds. Pliskin, get away from Strut H as fast as you can.
Pliskin: *sigh* Okay. Nice working with you, Shawn.
Shawn: You, too, Pliskin. Raid, keep a good distance from your bomb. Use the spray from afar, and it should defuse.
Raid: But... but...
Shawn: It's too late for me! Do your mission, Raid... be a good soldier.
[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!]
Pliskin: .......
Raid: ......
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid eventually finds the bomb and defuses it]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Doctor, I've defused the bomb. It was a great loss for everyone...
Egg: Indeed, it was.
Raid: Damage report, please?
Egg: The water contamination plant in Shell 2 was quite... jacked up, and the core of Shell 2 is flooding. But, that's it.
Raid: Is the Big Shell still stable?
Egg: Yes.
Raid: What's my next objective?
Egg: Rescue the president. Start by returning to the top of Sturt A.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[as Raid goes upwards, he encounters Honey, standing in front of the elevator to the top]
Honey: I see you've been able to defuse that bomb.
[Honey aims her giant SHOOP DA WHOOP cannon at Raid]
Raid: Oh, crap.
Honey: ..hm? You're not who I thought you were.
[Honey stands down]
Honey: I'm Honey. They call me "Lady Luck," because I never get hurt. Ever.
["Honey (Honey)" appears on-screen]
Honey: Perhaps YOU could kill me, and bring me happiness?
[Honey fires at Raid; he dodges and hides]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Uh, Doctor, this isn't a very good time!
Egg: Raid, Fatcham just contacted us.
Chapter 3: Botanicus Fatcham
Raid: WHAT? Fatcham contacted US?!
Egg: He asked specifically for YOU, Raid. He's on the roof of Strut E. He's giving you 400 seconds, or else...
Raid: Or else what?
Egg: ...he didn't specify. HURRY!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid waits, but Honey doesn't leave; she fires again; Raid dodges]
[eventually, the vampire guy enters]
?: I'll take over, my Queen.
Honey: Echo.
Raid: ...NOW!
[Raid jumps out from his hiding place, and shoots at Honey]
[the bullet swings around her and strikes Echo right in the face; he dies]
Honey: No.. *sniffle* that bullet was meant for ME...... why must you keep torturing me so?
[Honey breaks into a sob; Raid slowly and awkwardly sneaks around her and rides the elevator up]
Honey: WHY?!
Echo: It is not time for me to die, my Queen...
[cut to Strut E; Raid reaches the roof]
[there is a lone, small bomb in the open; Raid defuses it]
?: Ah, so YOU'RE the one who keeps defusing my bombs. You're here right on time. I like a punctual man.
[Raid spins around and draws his gun; there is a chao wearing a really fat suit]
["Fatcham (Cham)" appears on-screen]
Fatcham: Whaddya say we drink? To Shawn?
[Fatcham pulls out a glass of wine, and drinks it]
Raid: If you blow up Big Shell, you'll NEVER get your ransom!
Fatcham: Ransom? What the Mack Daddy are you talkin' about?
Raid: The random for thirty million billion pesos!
[Fatcham burts out with laughter]
Fatcham: So THAT'S what they're doin'... me, personally, I couldn't give less of a crap about money.
Raid: Well... why are YOU in this, then?
Fatcham: I simply want to go down as the greatest bomber in history!
[Fatcham begins skating around on random rollerskates, planting bombs wherever he sees fit]
[Raid defuses them one by one, and manages to shoot Fatcham in the chest; he falls over]
Fatcham: Oof... you think you have won... you think all is well...
Raid: What do you mean?
Fatcham: Heh, what I mean by that is, I'll see you in Hell!
[Fatcham pulls out a detonator, and presses the button]
Raid: What was that for?
Fatcham: The biggest bomb in the whole shell... once that goes off, it's curtains for you, and everybody here!
Raid: Where did you plant it?!
Fatcham: Heh heh... *coughs up blood* ha ha ha ha ha...
[Fatcham dies]
Raid: Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh CRAAAP...
[Raid looks around, and eventually finds it underneath Fatcham's corpse; he defuses it]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: (panting) This is Raid... I have defeated Fatcham, and defused all the bombs.
Egg: Excellent work, Raid. Now, go look for the president.
Raid: I don't know where he is, though!
Egg: You haven't checked the central Shell 1 core. Check that.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Hang on, I have another call. Should I take it?
Egg: Yes. I'll go offline. We want to keep our presence unknown.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Pliskin: How ya doin', kid?
Raid: Pretty good, I guess. I defused all the bombs, and took care of Fatcham. How are you?
Pliskin: Good job. I think I was out cold for a while... but, I'm fine.
Raid: What about the toxins? Did the Shell 2 bomb do anything to them?
Pliskin: Toxins?
Raid: Yeah, the toxins kept in Shell 2 that would completely defile the ocean.
Pliskin: Huh. I haven't heard anything about that. Anyway, listen, once you find the president, I have a friend with a chopper.
Raid: Good! First I have to find the president, though...
Pliskin: Well... you look for him. I have my own work to do.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Chapter 4: Botanicus Mister Ames
[as Raid is leaving the roof, he sees a freaky cyborg ninja]
Raid: !!! Dubbyoo tee eff? Who are you?
Ninja: I'm like you.. I have no name.
Raid: Mister X?
X: Hmm... if you'd like.
Raid: Are you an enemy?
X: No. I'm just a messenger from the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo. ..let's talk by Codec. It's safer that way.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Who do you work for?
X: That is not important to you right now. I have bigger information-- the location of the president.
Raid: Really?
X: Well... no. I have the location of a person who knows the location of the president.
Raid: Who?
X: A Secret Service Agent named "Ames." He's being held in the B1 Conference Room in the Shell 1 Core.
Raid: What does he look like?
X: We are not even sure if he is a "he."
Raid: How am I supposed to find him or her, then?
X: All we know is this-- Ames wears a pacemaker. Y'know, one of those gadgets that... does something or other.
Raid: Uh-huh. So, what, I'm supposed to go up to every hostage and say, "Hey, lady, I wanna listen to your breasts?"
X: No. Here, I have a directonal microphone for you, so you can listen to stuff from afar.
[X gives Raid the mic]
X: And here's a uniform the terrorists use, so you can get in.
[X gives Raid a terrorist uniform]
X: You'd better hurry. They have the nuke on their sid--
Raid: They have A NUKE?!
X: You didn't find their continuous presence here questionable? President or no, this is just an island, and it's not a very practical one, at that.
Raid: Even with a nuke, they still need a code to launch it, right? I mean--
X: They already have that. Remember that briefcase the Secret Service has? With the launch codes?
Raid: Argh... but, why bring a nuke here? To an oil clean-up facility of all places?
X: They didn't have to bring any nukes here. There was already one. The whole "clean-up facility" thing is just a facade.
Raid: A facade?
X: Yes... just a cover-up for Metal Gear, which is housed here.
Raid: METAL GEAR!?!?
X: Indeed. Ask Ames the rest. Here, *gives Raid a cell phone* you might need this.
Raid: A cell phone? Why do I need--
[X is gone]
Raid: ..ah, never mind.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Doctor...
Egg: I swear, this is the first I've heard of the Metal Gear rumor.
Raid: Really?
Egg: I promise you, Raid, I've been completely open with you. I'll have the rumor looked into. For now, just save Ames.
Raid: So, you believe the ninja?
Egg: It's our only lead for now. You have your mission, so go do it.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid dons the disguise and enters the Conference Room; he uses the mic to find Ames]
Raid: Are you Ames?
Ames: How do you know me?
Raid: This weird ninja told me about you.
Ames: I see.
Raid: Are you Secret Service?
Ames: No, I was sent by the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo, just like you.
Raid: ..what?
Ames: Doesn't matter. We don't have much time. I assume you're here for the president's location.
Raid: Where is he?
Ames: Floor 1 of the Shell 2 Core.
Raid: Shell 2 core, floor 1, got it. Do you think they'll kill him?
Ames: They can't, otherwise the nuke won't launch. It's nanomachines and stuff, you understand.
Raid: So.... so Metal Gear's truly here?
Ames: Yes, it is.
Raid: But, why an offshore clean-up facility?
Ames: They really haven't told you anything, have they? It was all planned-- the tanker, the spill, the clean-up, EVERYTHING!
Raid: Really?
Ames: Yes. The Big Shell was created specifically for the housing of Metal Gear. ..wait! There he is!
Raid: Who?
Ames: Solid Shade...
[Raid pulls out his directional mic and listens to a faraway conversation]
Chapter 5: Botanicus Solid Shade
[there is a cloaked man-- Levity Nite, and a man in a large, freaky, techno-y suit ("Solid Shade")]
Nite: Boss, Fatcham is dead.
Shade?: It doesn't matter. He was crazy, anyway.
Nite: I'll have his background checked, just in case.
Shade?: You think he was working for them?
Nite: It doesn't matter-- not with that intruder at large, anyway.
Shade?: The man in the sneaking suit...
Nite: You know more about those suits than I do.
Shade?: Hm. Any news with..... it?
Nite: Yes. The launch sequence preparations are going smoothly. In an hour, we'll need the president's confirmation, but that's it for him. After that, we'll just need the girl to launch it.
Shade?: Only a few steps away from Inner-Outer Heaven...
[Shade? clears his throat, and begins walking away]
Shade?: I leave this place in your hands, Levity. I'll take care of the intruder.
Nite: Right, then.
[they leave; Raid puts the mic away]
Raid: Was that really Solid Shade?
Ames: So he claims. Anyway, what did they say?
Raid: They said the preparations are complete. They just need the president's input. ..I guess he's cooperating with them?
Ames: Yes... he's probably tired of being a puppet. But, he is wrong to betray us like that.
Raid: A puppet?
Ames: Doesn't matter. They WILL launch the nuke. You know what you have to do by then.
Raid: Fire it? But it's nowhere near the ransom deadline!
Ames: Ransom?
Raid: For thirty million billion pesos!
Ames: What the hell are you talking about?! The nuclear launch isn't a THREAT-- it's been our GOAL all along!
Raid: To slaughter thousands of innocent people?!
Ames: No! A high-altitude detonation. You've heard of the Compton Effect?
Raid: Naturally. But, if they do that near a global power, it could start a global depression!
Ames: That's not their aim, though. They want to "liberate" Manhattan-- put it offline, and turn it into a Republic.
Raid: So THAT'S why they're called "Sons of Liberty..."
Ames: "LibFAIRY." And that's NOT why they're called that.
Raid: ..then, why are they--
Ames: Here comes Levity Nite! Quiet!
[Levity Nite comes by]
Nite: Ames. I know why you're here.
Ames: What are you talking about?
Nite: They knew the president was going to betray them, so they sent you to keep tabs on him...
Ames: Wh..what--
[Levity Nite points a gun at Ames' head]
Nite: Sorry, Colonel, but you've failed the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo.
[Ames jumps up, and then.. well, he suddenly dies]
Nite: What the..?
[Levity looks at Raid]
Nite: You! What squadron are you?
[other soldiers come]
Nite: Do you recognize him?
Soldier: No, sir. He's not one of mine.
[Levity rips Raid's mask off]
Nite: You.... we meet at last.
[the ninja suddenly appears, and glares at Levity]
Nite: Wait, but... you're dead! You died!
[Raid runs off]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: I saw the whole thing... ('cause.. the codec is cool like that, or... something)
Raid: Doctor, they were after the nuclear launch from the start, NOT the ransom...
Egg: Jeez--so it was a cover-up all along...
Raid: Doctor, what aren't you telling me?!
Egg: Nothing! Really, Raid, it's not like I'm being told everything, either!
[dramatic silence]
Egg: ...anyway, your priority right now is with the president. You need to find him and rescue him.
Raid: But, he's been cooperating with--
Egg: Yes, yes, according to Ames. But, they're also going to kill him. There's something more to this, and only he can tell you.
Raid: *sigh* Okay. I'll go rescue him.
Egg: Good. You can get to the Shell 2 Core via the connecting bridge. Go!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Chapter 6: Botanicus Pliskus
[Raid makes it to the connecting bridge]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Pliskin: Raid, you there?
Raid: Yeah, I read ya loud n' clear. Hey, listen... we have a lead on the president's location.
Pliskin: Uh-huh?
Raid: He's on the ground floor in the Shell 2 core.
Pliskin: Ah, well, I can't get there. I'm in Strut H, and that explosion blocked the path there.
Raid: Okay, fine, I'll do it, myself. I'm on the connecting bridge.
Pliskin: Careful, then. There's some Semtex planted across that bridge.
[Raid takes a look with his binoculars, and sees some little black devices scattered across the bridge]
Raid: I see 'em...
Pliskin: You might want a sniper rifle, so you can take out the control units. I hear there's one back in Strut--
Raid: I already got it. *BANG BANG* Done.
[Raid starts walking across the bridge]
Pliskin: Um... good. By the way, I found us a ride.
Raid: Great, let's hear it!
Pliskin: One of the enemy's Kasatkas. Was there a Harrier on Strut E?
Raid: No.
Pliskin: Good, I'll land this thing there.
Raid: Okay, well, the hostages are in B1 of the Shell 1 core. There are about thirty of 'em.
Pliskin: Hm. The Kasatka can only hold about thirteen. Guess we'll have to make two trips, huh, Otakit?
?: Looks like it.
Pliskin: Raid, I wanna introduce you to my friend, Otakit. You may know him as Mister Prower.
Tails: Hey, Raid.
Raid: Uh... nice to meet you. Pliskin, I'll talk to you later.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Doctor, I need some answers. Exactly who is Pliskin, and his partner?
Egg: I know what you're thinking, Raid...
Raid: It keeps coming back to CPAK! And now this Otakit...
Cream: AKA Miles Prower, Kindergarten teacher. He and Shade both became wanted criminals after acts of terrorism.
Raid: But they're not terrorists, though!
Egg: Why are you defending him, Raid?
Raid: Because, after being on this mission for a bit, I've realized that it takes a lot more than sneaking to get you around.
Cream: Are you okay, Shadow?
Raid: I'm not sure what the word is, but... I just know it's something special. And Shade has it.
Egg: Even that being so, Shade is DEAD. They found his body!
Raid: But that also means the leader of the terrorists can't be him, either.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[a chopper flies above Raid; Pliskin stands inside, looking at Raid; the chopper flies to Strut E]
[Raid turns and sees a character wearing a long, black cape standing by the wall]
?: Nice to see you... a messenger from the Patriots.
Raid: Who are you?
?: Where do I know you from?
Raid: You're the boss around here, aren't you?
?: No, not just around here. I'm the boss to surpass even THE boss, himself.
[the figure stands out in the open, and looks at Raid]
?: I'm Solid Shade.
[the chopper flies by again]
Pliskin: NO! That is NOT Solid Shade!
?: What a pleasant surprise-- brudda.
Pliskin: Save it. You're no brother of mine.
?: Don't say you've forgotten me, Shade.
[Raid turns and looks at Pliskin, the gray Dark chao wearing the Navy uniform, who has a shocked expression on his face]
Raid: ..Shade?
Pliskin: Raid, take cover!
[Pliskin fires a rocket at the character, who dodges it, and a HUUUUGE explosion forms]
[the explosion melts the character's cape, revealing a full-body exoskeleton]
[also, the camera shows that the character's face is not visible, due to a scarf, hat, and goggles covering it]
["Solidus Shade (...)" appears on-screen]
Pliskin: Stop impersonating him!
Solidus: Brother, I'm a whole different game than Lam Mink.
[Solidus leaps into the ocean, and does not come back up]
[Raid peeks over the edge of the bridge, into the water]
[...rumble]
[SPLASH!]
[a giant, bipedal robot rises out of the water]
[the camera zooms in on Pliskin's gray face]
Pliskin: Metal Gear...
TO BE CONTINUED!