Wednesday, September 16, 2009


And now, time for a plot twist SO SHOCKING, you will hate me for even thinking of it!

[cut to a black screen]
[the following paragraph appears on-screen]
"Scientists had to work really hard to make the atomic bomb... all those calculations. All those friends cheering them on! All those girls cheering them on, too! YAY, girls! I feel like those scientists right about now. I'm sure that, when this eppy is released to the public, it will drop a HUUUUUUUGE bombshell on people. This is one revealing episode. least I have friends (and girls) who encourage me to... well... okay, nobody encourages me to make this. Not DIRECTLY, anyway. But, they cheer me up... well, the girls do. They always give me something to li-- um... something for which to live. Never end a sentence in a preposition! 'for' a preposition? ...actually, if it is, it should be 'something for WHOM--' no, 'someONE for whom to live.' Yeah. Girls give me someone for whom to live. Maybe I should re-do this paragraph. ......nah. I'll keep rambling. Anyway, those girls... always making me feel happy... making me feel loved... wanted.......... wait, I don't remember them making me feel wante-- OH, YEAH. Man, I suck at this. Guess I haven't worked on DCA for so long... a few months can do a lot to a person. Especially a guy like me, who depends on so much attention... um... I'll wrap this up."
[the paragraph fades out]
[the following appears on-screen]
"Scientists had to work hard with many calculations and grievances to make the atomic bomb... only to end up making a huge sacrifice. I feel a lot like them. This episode will make a huge sacrifice. It will drop a bombshell on people. Including me. Enjoy." -DJay32
[cut to a camera pan of a bridge]
[Eggman's voice-over can be heard talking to someone]
(Note: all VO)
Egg: Shade, do you remember the tanker incident, two years ago?
Shade: Of course.
Egg: Terrorists blow a hole in a marine-owned ship, capsule clears the colony, BAM!
[Eggman clears his throat]
Egg: Sorry. Got carried away. Anyway, tons of crude oil is dumped into the Sea of Manhattan.
Shade: So I heard.
[the camera shows some helicopters flying towards a facility in the middle of the ocean]
Egg: So, the A-Team goes out there and fixes everything. There's now an oil clean-up facility out there. "The Big Shell."
Shade: I hear the clean-up isn't quite done yet.
Egg: It takes time. In the meantime, the Shell has become a national landmark; a symbol of all things nice and clean.
Shade: Hmm... Doctor Kleiner, you didn't call me here just to give me a history lesson. What's going on?
Egg: Well, recently, an unknown unit has seized control of the facility.
Shade: Do you have any ID?
Egg: The military has sent a squadron out there to find out. Word just got back that the unit are calling themselves "Splintered Cell."
Shade: "Splintered Cell...."
[the camera pans, showing a crane shot of Big Shell]

Dark Chao Adventures
Season 7 (AKA Season 6, part two)
Episode Fifty-five
The Game-Maker Must Be Crazy! part two:
"Metal Gear Shade 2: Subsandwich"
[DCA REMASTERED: Bigger scripts! Bigger plots! Bigger bombshells!]

Shade: So, what are their demands?
Egg: Thirty million billion pesos.
Shade: THIRTY MILLION BILLION PESOS?! What makes them think they can get that much?
Egg: One word: Government-Aided Government-Starring Tour For the President.
Shade: Ah, GAGSTFP... hostages, then?
Egg: Yes. One of the hostages is VITAL to the success of the world...
Shade: Name?
Egg: Jimmy James Jimmy-Bob Jack Johnson James John Jeffrey James Jon James Jackson Johnson.
Egg: Exactly. The terrorists say, if their demands are not met, they will blow the Shell out of the water.
Shade: ARGH... the oil will ignite with the explosives and the boom and the bam and the Manhattan and the city and the owie and the... RAA!
Egg: And that's not even the worst-case scenario. The oil might gather around and flood the harbor.. and stuff.
Shade: An oil spill...
Egg: Yes! The biggest in history, creating one HELLUVA national disaster.
Shade: So, what do I have to do?
Egg: You have two mission objectives. One: Infiltrate the off-shore oil clean-up facility "Big Shell," and rescue the

Shade: Is that all?
Egg: No. Objective two: Disarm the terrorists by any means neccesary. You should know the SEAL-Team 32 is conducting a rescue mission, too.
Shade: Is this a joint effort?
Egg: No. Remain hidden. Do not let anyone know you're in there. Not even me!
Shade: Um... okay.
[the camera shows a chao swimming underwater in a weird scuba suit; it's covering his entire body and face]
[he surfaces at a little hangar/dock place]
Chapter 1: Botanicus Debuticus
[he looks around, and ducks behind a crate]
[BEEP BEEP! (codec is activating)]
Shade: This is Shade... there don't seem to be any sentries anywhere.
Egg: That's a little strange...
Shade: That's not all. The net that would have blocked me from entering was cut open. Seems like somebody else wanted REALLY BADLY to get in here.
Egg: That's impossible!
Shade: What about SEAL-Team 32?
Egg: They landed on the roof of Big Shell, as planned. By the way, we're changing your code name.
Shade: What? What's wrong with "Shade?"
Egg: Just a precaution. You are now "Shadow Raid."
Raid: Hmm... that sounds pretty cool, actually.
Egg: You will be referred to as "Raid," as a code-code name. So, I take it you've already completed the VR Training?
Raid: Levels 1-300. I feel like some kind of nerdy mercenary...
Egg: Alright, we'll skip that part, then. Just contact me on Codec whenever you need to, and look for the elevator.
Raid: Mmkay.
[Raid moves through the weird hangar place, finds the elevator, and rides it up]
Raid: Doctor Kleiner, I discovered some unconscious guards down there...
Egg: Impossible! That would mean...
Both: There's someone else in the Shell...
Egg: ...I still think it's impossible.
Raid: Hey, um.. Doctor? Can I take my mask off now? It's kinda stuffy in here...
Egg: Go right ahead.
[the camera shows Raid reach for his mask, and pull it off]
[underneath is a green Dark chao; "Raid (Shadow)" appears on-screen]
Egg: Feeling better?
Raid: Yep. ...*hurl* ...okay, NOW I am.
Egg: Heh, not much of a swimmer, are you?
Raid: No. I hear the real Shade was, though...
Egg: Yes... such a shame that not even HIS swimming prowess could save him from that tanker incident...
Raid: Mmm...
?: Shadow? Everything okay?
Raid: !!! What are YOU doing on this mission?
?: Shadow, I'm here to make sure you get through this okay...
Raid: But.. but...
Egg: Raid, meet the mission analyst.
Raid: I believe we've already met.... Cream.
Cream: Shadow...
Egg: Um.. right, then. Glad to hear you two know each other.
Cream: Of course we know each other! Shadow's my best student at the CPAK Day Care Center!
Raid: Creaaaaaamm..... *sigh* (exasperated) I'm your ONLY student.
Cream: But you're still my best!
Raid: Doctor, why did you choose her for this job? She works at a DAY CARE CENTER.
Egg: Well... you GO to one.
Raid: This is true. Okay, okay, whatever.
Cream: Shadow, tell me... do you know what tomorrow is?
Raid: Uh... September 9th, right?
Cream: Right. And what happens on that day?
Raid: Uhhhhhh...... hmmm.... those new Nerf products are released?
Cream: Well, yes, but... what else?
Raid: ....I can't remember. Sorry.
Cream: Oh, that's fine. You'll remember soon.
Chapter 2: Botanicus Honytus
Egg: Cream, I have a request for you.
Cream: Yes, Doctor?
Egg: Shadow has a code name. For the duration of this mission, I would appreciate it if you would refer to him as "Raid."
Cream: *sigh* All right... RAID, good luck out there. Contact me if you ever want to save your game.
Egg: Yes, good luck, Raid.
[Cream leaves the radio conversation]
Egg: Listen to me, Raid... the Big Shell is divided into two cores surrounded by sixteen struts.
Raid: I know, I know-- eight per strut, labelled "Strut A-F," or something.
Egg: ...crap, yeah, it might not be sixteen. My memory fails me, you see...
Raid: Don't worry about it; I know my mission. I'll go now.
[the elevator keeps going up]
Raid: *sigh* Wonder what'll happen no--
Egg: I forgot some important information!
Raid: Yes?
Egg: The terrorists are calling themselves the "Sons of Libfairy."
Raid: Sons of... Libfairy?
Egg: Libfairy. And their leader is calling himself "Solid Shade."
Raid: The hero of the Dark Garden? it possible that he might have survived?
Egg: Not a chance.
Raid: ...Shade...... the gardens are in a wreck without him. Even Chao...
Egg: What are you mumbling about?
Raid: Oh, nothing... so, where's the president, again?
Egg: He was last reported in Strut B. So... Northwest of your position.
Raid: Got it.
[Raid heads off in that direction]
[across the A-B bridge, he encounters a big military squad (SEAL-Team 32) firing at an enemy]
Raid: Hm?
[they are all firing at the same person-- Honey! That third-party female chao!]
[however, none of the bullets hit her-- even the ones fired directly at her]
[Honey sighs, and fires a giant, humongus SHOOP DA WHOOP cannon at the soldiers; they die]
Honey: Can no one kill me? Can no one end my bad luck? *sigh* I doubt it.
[Honey slowly walks away]
[Raid is just standing there, wide-eyed]
Raid: Doctor, who the Honey Smacks was THAT?
Egg: That was Honey.
Raid: ..oh.
Egg: Yeah. Splintered Cell came to her and offered her a job, because her amazing luck impressed them.
Raid: Huh, sure impressed me, too.
Egg: Raid, you may want to hurry.
Raid: Yes, of course.
[Raid enters Strut B, and instantly sees a corridor filled with blood]
Raid: .......guess I missed the party.
[he hears gunfire coming from the next room, which stops, followed by a scream]
[Raid slowly creeps around a corner, and peeks into the doorway]
[he sees a SEAL officer... having his blood sucked out of his neck by a freaky, purple-y Dark chao]
[the chao throws the corpse aside]
?: Five today....
[it looks in Raid's direction]
?: Or perhaps SIX?
Other ?: Get down! *gunfire*
Chapter 3: Botanicus Pliskus Echorinium
[an oddly familiar SEAL officer fires at the Dark chao]
[the Dark chao grabs the officer, and prepares to cut his throat open]
[the SEAL officer eyes Raid, and tilts his head at the chao]
Raid: Huh? ...oh, right!
[Raid shoots the Dark chao; no bullets hit him]
[the Dark chao doesn't even notice, instead, he starts sniffing the SEAL officer]
?: Your smell..... are you...
Officer: What are you talking about?
?: I will not kill you today. I am needed by Honey.
[the Dark chao flies upwards, and completely disappears]
[Raid steps into the room, and toward the officer]
Officer: I'm not an enemy, you know.
Raid: Then.. who ARE you?
Officer: S... Snake Pliskin. Lieutenant First Grade.
["Snake Pliskin (Officer)" appears on-screen]
Raid: "First?" You mean... uh.. Senior, or Junior, or...
Pliskin: Whatever. ..your suit... are you PROWLER?
Raid: Yes, but--
Pliskin: PROWLER disbanded two years ago.
Raid: Um... well..
Pliskin: Where were you before PROWLER?
Raid: Part of the Army's Force XXXII.
Pliskin: Force XXXII? That's tactical IT deployment, right? Got any field experience?
Raid: Well, um.. no, but--
Pliskin: I see. So, this is your first op...
Raid: I-I've gotten plenty of OTHER experience, though!
Pliskin: Ya don't say. Like what?
Raid: Sneaking Mission 32, and, uh... Weapons 96...
Pliskin: VR training, huh? Great. A virtual grunt from the digital ages.
[Pliskin scans Raid from top to bottom, then holds out his hand]
Pliskin: Welcome to the club, buddy.
Raid: Uhm... *shakes Pliskin's hand* thanks?
Raid: Hang on; I gotta take this.
Pliskin: (under breath) The kid's wired with nanomachines...
Egg: Raid, any sign of the president?
Raid: No sign at all. However, I hear he's been taken somewhere else...
Egg: What about SEAL-Team 32? Any news from them?
Raid: The entire Alpha squad's down-- no, one survivor.
Egg: One survivor?
Raid: Lieutenant Snake Pliskin.
Cream: "Snake Pliskin?" Are you sure that's his name?
Raid: Uh.. lemme check. Hey, is that your real name, "Snake Pliskin?" ....oh, okay, just checking! He said "Yes."
Egg: Something the matter, Cream?
Cream: Not exactly, but... I'm sure I've heard that name before.
Egg: Alright. We'll run an extensive search on him. For now, just keep on... keeping on, okay, Raid?
Raid: Wilco.
Raid: So, uh.. Pliskin? What the Hildenberg was that thing that was here earlier?
Pliskin: A member of Splintered Cell. I bet your VR training didn't include anything like that, right?
Raid: Well... right. Yes. Uh, so what's the deal with Splintered Cell, anyway?
Pliskin: *sigh* May as well tell you about 'em. Lemme clear some space.

A special forces unit created by Ex-President Sam "Fisher" Sears. The name was originally intended to reflect its stealth unit functions. The unit would launch unannounced assaults on government complexes, for the ultimate MGS-style simulation.

They were needed to show VR troopers like you how to deal with the real thing.But around the time their original leader died in prison, the unit began to unravel. They were always close to the edge, but
they became more and more extreme. Began to go after U.S. allies, even civilians. We estimate that no fewer than a hundred people died on accidents the Splintered Cell arranged on their own. They were out of control -- and it all came to a head six months ago.
Raid: What happened six months ago?
Pliskin: The unit just kinda... fell apart. Only three remain, and you just saw one of 'em.
Chapter 4: Botanicus Developmenticus
Raid: What about their leader? Do you think he's really Solid Shade?
Pliskin: Shade died two years ago...
Raid: You mean the tanker incident that made this facility necessary in the first place?
Pliskin: Yeah. He's a real legend... but, sometimes legends are heroes, while sometimes they're madmen.
Raid: Do you think it's possible he survived, and is pulling another one?
Pliskin: No. His body was found and positive-ID'd two years ago... the real Shade is dead and buried.
Raid: Hm.
[the radio on Pliskin's uniform turns on, and there are calls for backup]
[Pliskin just sits there, and pops a lollipop in his mouth]
Raid: Aren't you gonna answer that?
Pliskin: Meh. You want one?
Raid: A radio?
Pliskin: A lollipop.
Raid: No, thanks. I'm good. I'm just.. gonna go to Strut C, and look around a bit. Wanna come with?
Pliskin: I go my own way. I'm a loner. But, if you ever need info on this place, or stuff like that, call my codec.
Raid: Why do you have a--
Pliskin: My frequency is 141.80. By the way, what's your name?
Raid: The name's Raid.
Pliskin: Raid? Strange codename.
Raid: Better than the one my parents gave me.
[Raid leaves Strut B and moves towards Strut C]
[as he's moving, Cream calls]
Cream: Everything alright, Shadow?
Raid: Yeah, I'm fine. Any news on Pliskin?
Cream: Not yet. His name still seems familiar, though...
Raid: Wait, if there's no news, then why'd you call?
Cream: I just wanted to know if you remember what tomorrow is yet.
Raid: Tomorrow... September 9th........ sorry, I'm drawing a blank.
Cream: Oh, that's fine. Just.. try to finish your mission by tomorrow, okay?
Raid: Okay. I will. Oh, and Cream? I have something else for you to look up.
Cream: Sure, what is it?
Raid: I want you to look up everything about Solid Shade.
Cream: The famous mercenary?
Raid: Yes. Everything past the CPAK incident. He's dead now, and the CIA should have his burial records-- I want those, too.
Cream: Okay, Shadow. I'll look him up for you.
Raid: Thanks, Cream.
[....BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: What now?
Egg: Raid, we have recieved word from the navy that they brought a bomb disposal expert with them.
Raid: Great, how's his mission going?
Egg: Ask him yourself. He's in Strut C.
Raid: What in the name of fudge balls is he doing in there?
Egg: We don't know! Just find out!
[Raid enters Strut C, and finds himself in a kitchen/dining room area]
[inside is an old neutral chao with a cane and a police outfit]
[Raid slowly sneaks behind him, and points his gun at him]
?: Don't shoot.
[Raid continues pointing it at him]
Raid: Are you a cop?
?: I'm not CWPD (Chao World Police Department), but I came with the Bravo team. Who are you, and what happened to the squad?
Raid: They're all dead.
?: All of them? That's bad...
Raid: Did I say you could move?
Pliskin: Sheesh, take a chill pill, kid; he's one of the good guys.
[Pliskin enters the room, and Raid stands down]
Pliskin: Don't go pointing that thing everywhere.
Chapter 5: Botanicus Missionscus Briefium
Pliskin: So, who are you?
?: My name is Shawn, Shawn the Dark.
["Shawn the Dark (Shawn)" appears on-screen]
Pliskin: A lecturer at Harvard... and the CWPD's bomb consultant.
Shawn: I'm just a poor old chao who got dragged into this.
Raid: So you're SEAL's bomb disposal expert?
Pliskin: Kid, this is THE bomb disposal expert! Open any explosives disposal textbook and you'll see his name.
Shawn: Heh, that's all just ancient history now.
Raid: Then why'd you come on this mission?
Shawn: Because one of the terrorists was one of my best students.
Pliskin: That can't be good.
Shawn: The Emperor of Explosives... Fatcham. An explosives genius. He made an atomic bomb when he was ten.
Pliskin: Pfft, I know somebody who made something ten times cooler when he was ten...
Shawn: Really? Who?
Pliskin: DJay.
Shawn: ..ah, yes, right, well... uh.. let's just stick to the script, and stop breaking the Fourth Wall, shall we?
Pliskin: Just sayin'.
Shawn: Okay, and I agree with you. Still, in a way, I created Fatcham...
Raid: And that's why the navy thought you'd be best for this mission?
Shawn: Pretty much. Are you two with SEAL-Team 32? I didn't see you at the mission briefing.
Pliskin: We're... with other squads. I'm Lieutenant Snake Pliskin. *shakes Shawn's hand*
Shawn: You seem rather familiar, Pliskin.......... say, do you have any bomb disposal experience?
Pliskin: Oh, I've had plenty of experience. And this kid looks young, but he can do it.
Shawn: Ah, I see. What's your name, son?
Raid: Raid.
Shawn: Raid? Strange name.
Pliskin: Were there any other survivors?
Shawn: Well, now that you mention it, there was this engineer...
Raid: An engineer?
Shawn: Big Shell is fully computer-operated, you see. His job was to get us past all the security clearances.
Pliskin: Hm. Where is he now?
Shawn: I haven't seen him since that little skirmish...
Pliskin: So, nobody else in your squad is here?
Shawn: Apparently not. And my leg... I lost it in an explosion, so...
Pliskin: So we have to do the dirty work?
Raid: Aw, great.
Raid: Aw, great! Sorry, I gotta take this.
Pliskin: Off to consult your CO again?
Egg: Glad to hear that Shawn's okay.
Raid: Is it true that the Bravo team came in with an engineer?
Egg: We haven't heard anything about that, but they probably planned it. Don't worry. Just help Shawn with the bombs.
Raid: Doctor, you know I have no experience in bomb disposal!
Egg: Relax, Raid. The man you're working with is highly professional, and the top of his league. Just follow his instructions.
Raid: Ugh.... fine.
Shawn: Listen, you two won't be actually dismantling the bombs. That's extremely complicated.
Raid: So, what WILL we do?
Shawn: Simply take this spray *hands them some spray* and freeze the bombs!
Raid: Freeze them?
Shawn: It should freeze them for at least 24 hours.
Pliskin: That's plenty of time for a professional bomb disposal expert to get to them! I see...
Raid: But, how will we know where the bombs are?
Shawn: Here *hands them another complicated gadget*, this gadget will be able to pick up the bombs' scents.
Raid: ...wait.. what?
Shawn: I know Fatcham well. He likes to put his own little signature on his work... a sample of the cologne he uses.
Raid: Ah.
Pliskin: Raid, you take care of the bombs on this end of the facility; I got the other end.
Raid: Got it.
Shawn: I'll just be in this food pantry, here, if you need me. My frequency is 140.15.
[Shawn hides in a food pantry]
Pliskin: You ready for this, kid?
Raid: I guess...
Pliskin: Good. Now, move out!
[Pliskin and Raid go their own seperate ways]
Chapter 5.9: Botanicus WHAT THE FICUS
[Raid's radar/gadget tells him of a bomb in Strut C, in the bathroom; he investigates it]
[he finds a bomb inside a stall; he freezes it]
[he hears footsteps entering the bathroom; he quickly closes and locks the stall he's in]
[he hears the voice of Levity Nite talking to a radio]
Nite: ..uh-huh.... yeah... sure. Yeah. Mmhmm.
[he hears Levity wash his hands unzip some pants and.. use a urinal]
Nite: No, I can talk. I'm just in the bathroom. ..Eeksuu? Oh, it's close. I wouldn't just abandon that thing.
Nite: Listen, there's been a slight change of plans. We're still gonna end the Projekt...
[sink, wash hands]
Nite: But, it'll take us a few more episodes than previously planned. So, I pulled some strings...
[sink stops]
Nite: Yeah, no, DJay's fine with the whole thing. After all, he's been awfully... shall we say, tied up.. in work lately.
[he laughs evilly]
Nite: ..*sigh* How can you forget, man? The Projekt...
[he shifts (looks around), and the following is close to a whisper]
Nite: The Projekt is Dark Chao Adventures, remember?
[Levity starts walking away, the following is barely heard]
Nite: I'll just cut to the chase-- to end DCA, we're gonna need this season to go on a bit longer than 8 episodes.
[he completely leaves the room]
[Raid is standing, sweating, wide-eyed, heart beating rapidly]
Raid:'re gonna end DCA?
[fade to black]

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