"Libfairy Gear Shade" is the most WHAT THE FUCHIA episode I've ever written. Ever.

LAST TIME, ON D
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geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeronimoaaand they all lived happily ever after. ...'cause they all DIED.
YAAH

DARK CHOA ADVNTJUZ
Seeeeeeeeeeee 7 (AKA s6p2)
Eppy Fifty-hunderd and a eighty 58
"Libbbababsbbbbra GEarsedgg Sbad"

[DCS REMAASAASRRAATEEREDD: SCRIZS ONEGR SCRISZ FUNNEIR MORW CHARACTWDS AND MORE LIBFAIRY]

Chapter 914: Abooooooooard Lbaf8iry
[Raid is let go from his torture table thing, and exits into the hallway, completely naked]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: Raid, you must continue your m-mission.
Raid: I need to find Shade first. He has my gear.
Egg: He was never a factor in the simulation. Leave him out of this.
Raid: I can't do much naked, especially in this absurdly cold temperature.
Egg: That's true. ...but, it's not THAT cold.
Raid: I think Shade has my gear.
Egg: Raid, you must take our Zero and his men. Recover Libfairy intact.
Raid: ..Doctor, are you under orders from the Patriots?
Egg: Your role-- that is, mission-- is to infiltrate the structure and disarm the terrorists--
Raid: Role? Why do you keep saying that?
Egg: Why not? This IS a type of role-playing game. Metal Gear Solid 2. I expect you to put up an awesome performance.
Raid: ..........Doctor, I just remembered something.
Egg: What is it?
Raid: I've never met you in person before!
Egg: Complete your mission according to the simulation!
Raid: Doctor, who are you?
Egg: We have Cream.
Raid: What do you mean by that?
Egg: Over and out.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid continues moving through the hallway]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: Raid, turn the console off right now!
Raid: Console-- wait, what?
Egg: The mission was a failure! Cut the power right now!
Raid: Doctor, what's wrong with you?
Egg: Don't worry. It's just a game. ..just a script. Like usual.
Cream: You'll hurt your eyes reading this script so close to the computer.
Raid: What are you talking about?
Egg: Raid, something odd happened to me last night as I was driving home...
Raid: You can drive?
Egg: I saw this object in the sky.. it glowed a bright, orange light... then BAM! It was gone.
Raid: ........
Egg: Now, what do you think happened to me?
Raid: ...what are you talking about?
Egg: *sigh* Never mind.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Raid keeps walking]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: RAID
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Raid: What the..
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: The purple-backed gorilla from Mars likes to shove bananas filled with uranium up anything that moves. I NEED SCISSORS! 61!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Raid: ...*laughter*
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: The MASTER Chief, Shadow the Hedgehog, is being held in the B1 prison cell. Go! And rescue him!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Cream: Shadow...
Raid: Oh. Hi, Cream.
Cream: I owe you an apology...
Raid: If it's for the conversation earlier, don't worry about it. I'M the one who's sorry.
Cream: No... me being your teacher at Day Care wasn't just a coincidence. I was ordered to keep an eye on you...
Raid: No way...
Cream: ..by the Patriots.
Raid: So... so you're a spy?
Cream: It's not like I'm Rouge the Bat, or anything.... sure, I kept tabs on everything you did, but that was just part of the job...
Raid: Was letting me sleep in your bed because I was having nightmares just "part of the job," too?
Cream: N-no! I swear, Shadow, I grew fond of you... you are a nice chao...
Raid: I can't believe this.. no matter where I go, I get used.
Cream: Please, Shadow... I still want to be your friend. I want to teach you how to live... how to love...
Raid: This is just... I mean... that would explain why they selected you to be the mission analyst at the last minute!
Cream: Please, I know what I did was wrong...
Raid: Forget it. I.. I don't know what to think anymore.
[ShEEEOOSH!]
[Raid continues walking]
Shade: Amazing how you can walk around like that, completely naked and all...
[Raid turns around, and Shade is there, wearing his bandanna and no navy suit]
["Solid Shade (Shade)" appears on-screen]
Raid: Shade!
Shade: Been waiting long?
Raid: *sneeze*
[Shade gives him back his gear, and he gets dressed]
Chapter 3o2: Bakc in geadr
Shade: Sorry about earlier. I had to use you as bait to get into Libfairy.
Raid: Why didn't you tell me about the female Shade?
Shade: You didn't ask. *grin*
Raid: *sigh*
Shade: Still mad about that? Get over it.
Raid: ...any effects of the virus yet?
Shade: Not yet. And from the looks of it, Zero's taking this baby to Manhattan. Oh, and there's a room full of Eeksuus ahead.
Raid: How many?
Shade: She-Shade says about twenty-five, give or take.
Raid: TWENTY-FIVE?!
Shade: Sure, I've never fought that many at once before, but... we can deal.
[Shade pulls out a katana]
Shade: By the way, she asked me to give this to you.
[Raid takes the blade, and swings it around a bit]
Raid: Awesome.
Shade: Now, c'mon. Let's do this.
[they move on]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Tails: Shade, Raid!
Shade: Otakit! How are the hostages?
Tails: Taken care of. How are things on your end?
Shade: We're managing.
Raid: Hey, Otakit... what do you know about the Doctor?
Tails: Just what Wikipedia tells me about Doctor Who.
Raid: No, not THAT Doctor; I mean Eggman.
Tails: Oh. Well.. why?
Raid: My last transmission with him was a little... strange.
Tails: Interference?
Raid: No, nothing like that... just... strange.
Tails: I see. I'll dig around a little.
Raid: Thanks.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[in the next room, a camera spots them, and tons of Libfairy Soldiers come and fight them; they escape into another hallway]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Tails: Raid, I did some digging around about Eggman. I found out where he is.
Raid: Well, where is he?
Tails: Inside Libfairy.
Raid: Wh..what?
Tails: I've done a lot of thinking, but it all comes back to Libfairy. The origin of the calls-- not the relay point, but the ORIGIN-- was Libfairy. That, and the encryption codes were the exact same ones the DDS uses.
Raid: So... so.... so what?
Tails: You've been talking to an AI. While Eggman, himself, isn't an AI, Libfairy probably created this one.
Raid: Of course, with the Patriots and stuff like that...
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[they keep walking for a bit]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: Raid, they've got Cream! They've got her in the holds!
Shade: Don't listen to him, Raid. It's a trap.
Cream: Shadow, help me!
Raid: But...
Shade: RAID!
Raid: *sigh* It's all in my head... it's all in my head.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[they make it to the next room, and are ambushed by Libfairy soldiers]
[of course, they're no match for Solid Shade and Raid, are they?]
[then, suddenly...]
Honey: It's been a long wait, Solid Shade... the root of all my sorrows.
[A WILD HONEY APPEARS]
[RAID USED GASP]
[SHADE USED BADASSERY]
Honey: You left everyone, Shade... the Gardens, CPAK... everyone was wondering where you were.
Shade: I went underground after the tanker incident.
Honey: You left us. My sorrows... the only reason to live is to see it end. The wait is almost over...
Raid: You can't be serious about firing the nukes!
Honey: Since no one can kill me, I may as well kill everyone else. ..starting with you, Shade.
Shade: Raid, get out of here.
[Raid starts climbing a ladder]
Shade: You want eternal rest? I got it riiiiight here.
Chapter 43343: Rdi vrwrs thwe metal gear eeksuas
[cut to Raid atop a circular platform, his surroundings are nothing but blackness]
[Zero's voice is heard]
Zero: Shadow, I've been watching you fight. It seems you remember the good old days... or is it one of the S3 Plan's proud achievements?
Raid: What are you talking about?
Zero: S3 stands for Solid Shade Simulation. Levity Nite discovered these plans among Libfairy's databanks.
Raid: Solid Shade Simulation?
Zero: Yes.. it seems the Patriots wanted to recreate their perfect soldier via means of VR... sound familiar?
Raid: *gasp* No way...
Zero: ya wai. I had to put a stop to their "agent" before his final mission was complete.
[Zero appears on the platform]
Zero: No more games, Raid. I'm through playing them.
[THUD!]
[Raid slowly and fearfully turns around]
[three Metal Gear Eeksuus are looking at him]
Zero: I've given you a worthy opponent, but now you can die like the little Shadowy boy I once knew!
[Zero disappears, and Raid is left there with the Eeksuus]
Raid: I really doubt I'll be able to survive this...
[he pulls out a rocket launcher]
Raid: That is, without this old baby.
[he fires three rockets at one Eeksuu; it collapses]
Raid: Ha! This won't be so tough.
[THUD! another one takes its place]
Raid: ...this is gonna be fun.
[BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! COLLAPSE! THUD! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! COLLAPSE! THUD! BOOM! THUD! BOOM! THUD! BOOM! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD!]
[he is surrounded by Eeksuus]
Raid: It's no use!
Zero: I expected you to put up more of a fight than THAT, Shadow.
[an Eeksuu raises its foot to crush Raid; the female Shade drops down in front of him; the Eeksuu backs off]
Zero: So, you've finally decided to show yourself.
SShade: Raid, get out of here.
Raid: But, your brother--
SShade: The Patriots are monitoring YOUR life status. If you die, my brother dies.
[BANG! SShade falls to the ground, dead]
Zero: I see. So THAT'S why you sold your troops out to me.
Raid: SHAAAAAAADE!
Zero: Now, let's return to where this fight left off. Shall we?
[the Eeksuus shake around, eyes red]
Zero: What the?
[the Eeksuus surround Zero]
Zero: What's going on?!
[Levity's voice is heard on a loudspeaker]
Nite: It would seem that Libfairy's AI is out of control. Perhaps some sort of virus?
Zero: The Patriots?
Nite: I.. I don't know!
Zero: Levity, what did you do?!
Nite: Nothing, I swear! The system's on an emergency ascent course!
[the Eeksuus move in]
Zero: Get the **** away from me.
[Zero hops up and rips the circuitry from one Eeksuu; it collapses]
[he tears right through another; it collapses]
[finally, he shoots the legs off of the last one; it collapses]
Zero: CURSE THE PATRIOTS!
[he then uses a tentacle to pick Raid up]
Zero: You still have some use...
Honey: I've captured Solid Shade.
Zero: You have?
[Honey enters, shoving Shade through]
[Raid passes out]
Chapter 3354655564232455444444: a lsist of andrmes
[Raid wakes up on top of Libfairy; Levity Nite, Zero, Honey, and Shade are there, as well as an inactive Eeksuu]
Zero: Are you awake yet, Shadow?
Raid: Ugh...
Zero: You were able to corrupt Libfairy's AI. I underestimated you.
[Zero grabs Raid with a tentacle]
Zero: I'll just squeeze the answers out of you, instead.
[after a while, he drops him]
Honey: Why are you messing with him? You know he doesn't know anything.
Zero: It's not him I want the answers from...
Honey: What do you mean?
Zero: None of your business.
Honey: Oh, really? It just so happens that I have my own business to attend to.
[she turns and walks away]
Zero: Planning on hijacking Libfairy, are you?
[she stops abruptly]
Zero: I'm not gonna let you screw me over THAT easily.
Honey: Who talked? Levity?
Zero: Not exactly. I'm the one who told him to give you the idea in the FIRST place.
[she slowly turns]
Honey: What?
Zero: I was planning on GIVING you Libfairy, anyway.
Honey: Why the uncharacteristic generosity, Zero?
Zero: I'm no philanthropist; Libfairy is FAR from impregnable. It needs THOUSANDS of guards, warheads, ground, air and sea support, and can you imagine all the PLUBMING I'd have to do? Against a large attack force, Libfairy is nothing more than a giant COFFIN. No, seizing Libfairy was never the main objective.
Honey: Then... what WAS the main objective?
Zero: A list of names.
Honey: Whose names?
Zero: Well, since the Patriots were going digital, that means they must have put EVERYTHING in the AI. That includes the list of names of the twelve highest members of the Veteran's Committee!
Honey: I see... you were planning on picking them off, one-by-one, while we drew their fire with Libfairy.
Zero: Exactly.
Honey: You were using us.
Zero: Not unlike how you were using me. At least, PLANNING to.
Honey: But, your plan's hit a little snag with the DDS gone, huh?
Zero: Not exactly. There is another way.
Honey: Really? Ah, but I don't care. The purified nitrogen bomb is still here. I can still use it.
Zero: I won't stop you. That's what you intended to do all along.
Honey: Thank you. I shall use it well, too.
[she turns and walks away, but this time is stopped by Levity Nite's laughter]
Honey: What's so funny?
Nite: You, all of you, have been playing along to a little script...
Honey: *turns around* A little script? What do you mean?
Nite: Everything you guys are doing has been planned.. an exercise planned by us.
Zero: Exercise?
Nite: Yes, the S3 plan was designed to create an equal to Solid Shade, but the VR training was just the icing on the cake.
Zero: ...icing?
Nite: You think this terrorist scheme was all YOUR doing, Zero? It is really just a well-orchestrated rendition of CPAK.
Zero: WHAT?!
Nite: I'll clear some space.

Ames' and the president's deaths-- you didn't think that they were just a coincidence? They represented the MASTER Chief's and the CPAK Principal's deaths. Ames' own nanomachines were used to shut down his pacemaker. The president, while knowing what was going on, still chose to play out his alloted part. The virus.. well.. don't worry too much about that one, except for the fact that it was designed to erase every scrap of Patriot-related information from the database. In short, your plan was a failure before you even decided to execute it, Zero.

Fatcham was a different story. He was just there to test the boy's progress, and see if he was prepared to activate the test proper. We had to coax him into doing it; Shawn was here just for that purpose. We left no room for error. If the boy had failed to defeat Fatcham, and destroyed the facility in the process, then the exercise would have ended there.

Given the right situation, the right story, anyone can be shaped into somebody like Shade. Even rookies, like Shadow. You, the female Shade, Splintered Cell-- you were all just pawns in this brilliant simulation. Zero, you and Shadow were chosen for the job because your relationship resembled that of Shade and the big ol' boss, himself. Splintered Cell was chosen because they were the closest thing to Beaten Graves.

Honey, you were told that the eradification of Splintered Cell six months ago was the work of the Patriots. We worked so hard to get you vengeful and filled with hatred... and you opted for revenge, just as planned.

Honey: All orchestrated?
Nite: Except for the appearance of Solid Shade. I wonder who sent you?
[Honey points her SHOOP DA WHOOP cannon at Levity]
Honey: All our misfortune was just part of your plan...
Chapter 3943553566434646453356435555: toe maNHATNEan
[Levity shoots Honey in the chest-- he does not miss]
Honey: ACK! You... how did you...
Nite: You're no Lady Luck. You have been shielded by the Patriots since Day One, thanks to electromagnets and such.
Honey: I could have died whenever I wanted to...?
[Honey stands up, and aims the gun at him]
Nite: Huh? I thought I shot you in the heart...
[she shoots him, and misses]
Nite: Oh, that's right; YOUR heart's on the right.
[once more, she misses]
Nite: Yeah, your luck's run out, Honey. I have on me right now the very same electromagnetic field YOU did.
[she collapses]
Zero: Why, you...
[Zero pulls out a minigun and fires all the bullets, and misses every one of them]
[Levity hops up, into Eeksuu's cockpit; it starts up]
[Zero pulls out two swords]
[Eeksuu fires some bullets at him; he smoothly deflects all of them]
[one bullet hits Shade's handcuffs (which I forgot to mention), setting him free]
Nite: How's THIS, then?
[Eeksuu aims its missles at them]
Shade: Aw, crap.
[Honey gets up, and stands in front of Eeksuu]
Zero: Get out of here, Honey; you'll die in an instant!
Nite: Heh, your luck's run out, like I said. You want your reward? Okay, I'll give you all the payload Eeksuu's got!
[he fires all his missles at Honey; they all miss and are sent into the ocean (above which, they're flying)]
Shade: She really IS Lady Luck...
[Honey stumbles forward and coughs]
Honey: Forgive me, Shade... for I have hated the wrong person all this time...
[Honey dies]
[the front of Eeksuu opens up, revealing a huge cannon]
Zero: Oh, boy.
[suddenly, Levity's arm twitches]
Nite: No! Not now!
[Eeksuu stands up; Levity hops out, and speaks in a considerably different, calm, darker-ish voice]
Nite: Life... life is coarsing through my veins...... finally. *deep inhale* I can FINALLY.... LIVE!
Zero: Who are you?
Nite: Wouldn't YOU like to know?
Shade: Ah, don't tell me you're another Beta...
Nite: No. No, I'm not a Beta.
Shade: GOOD!
Nite: My name... is JOE.
Shade: ....are you SURE you're not a Beta?
Nite: Okay, so TECHNICALLY.. I was the ORIGINAL JOE, but I was also present in the days before DCA.
Shade: ...okay, so I won't get mad THIS TIME.
Nite: You know, Shade.. I was the one who gave you and Tails that anonymous tip regarding Metal Gear on the tanker.
Shade: Ah, so evil!
Nite: And now, I'm off to kill the Patriots. Tara!
[he hops back into Eeksuu, and jumps off Libfairy]
Shade: JOE!
[Shade follows, and jumps off, too]
Raid: SHADE!
[Libfairy then enters Manhattan, and slowly goes down and down; Raid and Zero fall off]
[they land atop a Gamestop, at about... 10 AM, I guess]
Zero: *laughter*
Raid: What are you laughing at?
Zero: Do you know what today is?
Raid: ...September 9th.
Zero: That's right. For one thing, Hughie Thomasson died on September 9th, 2007. *sigh* Rest in peace, Hughie.
Raid: He was an awesome guitarist...
Zero: Yes..... but, also, today, the Beatles: Rock Band is released, as well as the remasters of all the Beatles albums!
Raid: *gasp* There will be thousands of people heading to Gamestops worldwide!
Zero: YES! The perfect moment for Libfairy to strike-- when the nation is distracted by British music!
Raid: All you want is power...
Zero: I don't want power, Shadow. I want to take back everything the Patriots took away! Liberation, freedom... that stuff.
Raid: That stuff wouldn't even exist without the Patriots.
Zero: Hmmhmm... perhaps. But, is that really the best way to live? Under their silent rule?
Raid: Well...
Zero: And soon to be under their OBVIOUS rule! We would all become the "Sons of Libfairies!"
Chapter 26135457662336566632454646: a talk wit ygw patiropts
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Uh... hold on just a bit, okay, Zero? I gotta take this.
Zero: Okay, go ahead.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: Raid, are you recieving? We're still here.
Raid: How is that possible?! The AI was destroyed!
Egg: Only DDS.
Raid: Who... who are you?
Egg: We were formed by the White House, you could say. Everything moral and disciplinary of America, that's us.
Raid: Cut the crap! If you're immortal, why would you censor everything?
Egg: Calm down, Shadow. We have only YOUR interests, not ours, in mind.
Raid: What?
Cream: SIT DOWN AND LISTEN LIKE A GOOD BOY, OKAY?! LIKE A GOOD BOY!
Raid: Ack!
Egg: The mapping of the human genome was completed early this century, and in theorem, the evolutionary cycle was in front of us.
Cream: We were able to essentially digitize life, itself.
Egg: But there are some things not covered by digital information.
Raid: Like wha--
Cream: LIKE A GOOD BOY!
Raid: Sorry!
Egg: Memories, ideas, culture... HISTORY!
Cream: Genes don't contain any trace of history.
Egg: Is history something that should not be passed on? Something that should be left to the mercy of nature?
Cream: We've always kept records of our history, in stuff like books, television, the internet...
Egg: But not all the information was inherited by future generations. Only a select portion of it. Like genes.
Cream: That's what history is, Shadow.
Egg: But in the current, digitized world, trivial information is gathering. Never deleted, just... gathering.
Cream: Rumors about petty issues, misinterpretations, slander...
Egg: All this junk data, preserved in an untouched state, growing at an alarming rate.
Cream: It will only slow down social progress, and hinder the pace of evolution.
Egg: Shadow, you seem to think our plan is one of censorship.
Raid: Are you telling me it's NOT--
Cream: SIT DOWN, YOU PUNK! BE A GOOD BOY FOR A CHANGE!
Raid: Yes, ma'am!
Cream: We want to CREATE context, not CHANGE it.
Raid: Create?
Egg: The digital society furthers human flaws and selectively rewards the development of convenient half-truths.
Cream: Billions spent on new weapons in order to humanely murder otherhumans.
Egg: Rights of criminals are given more respect than the privacy of their victims.
Cream: Although poverty still exists in great numbers, people still spend their money to save endangered species.
Egg: Everyone grows up being told the same thing. "Be nice to each other!"
Cream: "But beat out the competition!"
Egg: "You're special!" "Believe in yourself, and you will succeed!"
Cream: But it's so obvious from the start that very few will succeed.
Egg: You exercise your right to "freedom" and this is the result. Confused morality, political "correctness..."
Cream: Everyone withdraws into their own gated community, afraid of the larger forum outside...
Egg: Their truths are let out into the real world. All these conflicting truths exist, but none are challenged.
Cream: The biggest case of cognitive dissonance EVER. Not even natural selecton can occur here!
Egg: And this is the way the world ends. Not with a BAAAAANG, but with a.....whimper...
Cream: We're trying to stop this from happening.
Egg: This is our responsibility as rulers. We must filter out all the unnecessary information in order to continue evolution.
Raid: And you think you are qualified to do that?
Cream: Grr...
Raid: ......sir, and ma'am?
Cream: That's better.
Egg: Absolutely. Who else could wade through all that garbage you produce, and find the useful information?
Cream: That is what is known as "creating context."
Raid: I'll decide what do believe, myself, thank you! ...sir and ma'am!
Egg: But is that really your own idea?
Cream: Or something Shade told you?
Egg: That's the proof of your incompetence, right there.
Raid: But I have the right--
Cream: Does something like a "self" exist inside you?
Egg: That which you call "self" serves as nothing more than a mask to cover your own being.
Cream: In this era of ready-made "truths," "self" is just something used to preserve those positive emotions that you occasionally feel...
Egg: Another possibility is that "self" is a concept you conveniently borrowed under the logic that it would endow you with some sense of strength...
Raid: That's crap!
Egg: Is it? Would you rather have someone else tell you?
Cream: Shadow, you're awesome! You rule! And you got to be so awesome all by yourself!
Raid: ........
Egg: Oh, what happened? Do you feel lost? Why not try a bit of soul-searching?
Cream: Don't think you'll find anything, though...
Egg: Isn't it ironic that whenever something good happens, it's yourself, but if it's bad, it's something else?
Cream: "It's not my fault. It's not your fault."
Egg: It's denial. You look for more convenient truths, and Al Gore, to make you feel better.
Cream: Leaving behind in an instant the so-called "truth" you once embraced.
Egg: Should someone like that be able to decide what is "truth?"
Cream: Should someone like you even have the right to decide?
Egg: You've done nothing but abuse your freedom.
Cream: You don't deserve to be free!
Egg: We're not the ones smothering the world. You are.
Cream: The individual is supposed to be weak, but far from powerless-- one person could ruin the whole world.
Egg: And the advent of the digital age has given too much power to the individual. Too much power for an immature species.
Cream: People used to struggle to build a legacy. Now, we do all the thinking for them.
Egg: We are your guardians, after all. And, in the case of chao, your OWNERS.
Raid: You want to control thought? Behavior?
Egg: Of course. Anything can be quantified nowadays. That's what this exercise was designed to prove.
Cream: You grew attatched to me, after all, didn't you? I was your teacher in Day Care.
Egg: Levity Nite was not told the whole truth, to say the least.
Cream: We rule an entire nation -- of what interest would a single soldier, no matter how able, be to us?
Egg: The S3 Plan does not stand for Solid Shade Simulation. What it does stand for is Selection for Societal Sanity... the S3 is a system for controlling human will and consciousness. S3 is not you, a soldier trained in the image of Solid Snake. It is a method, a protocol, that created a circumstance that made you what you are.
Cream: WE are the S3 plan, not YOU.
Egg: What you experienced was the final test of its effectiveness.
Raid: That's crazy.
Egg: You heard what the President said.
[Eggman's voice changes to that of the president]
Pres: The Libfairy's "DDS" system is the key to their supremacy.
[his voice changes back]
Egg: Our goal was to establish such a method. We used CPAK as a paradigm for the test.
Cream: I wonder if you'd have preferred a fantasy setting?
Egg: We chose that for its extreme circumstances. If you could solve it, you could do anything. And now, we have our proof.
Raid: ...argh.
Egg: There are plenty of other reasons behind your selection. Zero raised plenty of chao soldiers-- why you?
Raid: Uh.. I don't know.
Egg: It was because you were the only one who refused to acknowledge the past. You turn your back on anything you dislike.
Cream: You do whatever you like, and see only what you want-- for yourself, alone.
Egg: Yes, Cream can attest to that. You see, you are the perfect representation of the masses we want to protect.
Cream: You obeyed our orders, like a good boy. You listened, and did as you were told.
Egg: The real objective behind this was to ensure that we could generate and manipulate feelings, beliefs, and reality.
Cream: Were we successful? Of course.
Egg: Well, I think that's enough talk. It's time for your final test. Raid, take Zero down.
Raid: Think again! I'm through doing what I'm told!
Egg: Are you sure you're not forgetting something?
[he manipulates his voice to sound like SShade]
SShade: If you die, my brother dies.
[back to normal]
Egg: Termination of your vital signs will result in the execution of that chao. Not to mention Cream. She's wired the same.
Raid: Cream... is she even real?
Cream: Of course I am, Shadow! You've got to beLIEve me!
Raid: Dang...
Egg: It will be a fight to the death.
Cream: Zero, at least, wants you dead.
Egg: We will collect the remaining data from this last test, then deem the exercise closed.
Raid: WAIT! I have one last question...
Egg: Well, alright. We may as well let you ask.
Raid: What.. what about DCA? I heard Levity Nite say it would end... is that true?
Egg: ...
Cream: ...
Egg: DCA must live on.
Cream: Yes, it must.
Egg: That is the answer you had hoped to hear, correct? Well, it's WRONG. DCA must end.
Cream: It has gone on long enough. It does nothing but continue political "correctness" and the spreading of lies.
Egg: It's not the ONLY fanfiction we're shutting down, mind you, but it might possibly be the biggest.
Cream: Seven seasons... wow. 58 episodes, was it? This is the 58th, right?
Egg: We'll consider leaving all 58 of them intact. Our orignal intent was to completely delete all traces of it, but...
Cream: But, the truth is, we quite enjoyed a large number of the episodes.
Raid: Then why not let it keep going?
Egg: Like I said, it is classified as one of the "trivial pieces of information" that we must get rid of.
Cream: We're only keeping the 58 episodes as sort of a... guilty pleasure.
Egg: These are not the only reasons behind its ending, but these are the only reasons we will give.
Cream: Now then, Shadow Eater... who will it be?'
Egg: Zero, the creation of the Patriots, or YOU, the creation of Zero? Our little monsters... enjoy yourselves.
[SHEEEOOSH!]
Chapter 124468578348 23124283523 5 4q84qr58w4672345w467e34678ey663476777777777777: raid vwsuah oro
Raid: Okay, sorry about that. Where were we?
[Zero gets up]
Zero: Uh.. oh, yeah. Shadow... my son. My "brothers" and I are called "monsters." Replications of evil genes.
Raid: Monsters?
Zero: You, while special, are still a monster. And we must decide, out of all the monsters, who deserves survival.
[Zero clenches his fist]
Zero: By the way, Shadow, I was the one who killed your parents.
Raid: !!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Zero: I claimed you for my own, and transformed you into a soldier.
Raid: But... why?
Zero: I needed to know if we were really just people's creations. We're repeating history, Shadow.
[Zero tosses Raid's katana at him; he catches it]
Zero: I have other reasons for wanting you dead. For one thing, the information of the Patriots is gone, except...
[DUN DUN DUUUUUN]
Zero: ..the last of it is in YOUR HEAD.
Raid: LE GASP
Zero: The information is being carried throughout the nanomachines in your neural cortex.. and... stuff.
[dramatic camera angles]
Zero: Anyway, BRACE YOURSELF!
[DRAMATIC FIGHT SEQUENCE!]
[SLASH!]
[ZOOM!]
[SWIPE!]
[KA-WIZZZZ!]
Zero: Hm. Good work, Shadow, but this is where things get interesting!
[one of Zero's tentacle arms grabs Raid]
[BEEP BEEP!]
Raid: Aw, ****, this is the WORST time for a call..
Zero: Ya got another call?
Raid: Yeah... sorry.
Zero: it's okay. I'll wait.
Raid: Thanks.
[BEEP BEEP!]
Egg: Raid, you have to beat Zero! This is your last duty!
Raid: We're not just pawns in some simulation game, you know!
Cream: Yes, you are! You're no different than a fighter jet, or a tank.
Raid: Wha?
Egg: A weapon has no right to think for itself. Now, go! Go and defeat Zero! Fulfil your purpose in life!
[SHEEEOOSH!]
[Zero and Raid lock eyes]
[Zero dashes forward; Raid dodges]
[Raid quickly stabs him in the back]
[Zero falls over the edge of the building]
[the camera shows him dramatically falling IN SLOW MOTION]
[SMACK! He lands, and his corpse is stuck on the neck of a guitar controller on display outside the store]
[cut to the street by the store; Raid is standing there; people are walking by, not even noticing him]
Raid: Who am I, really?
Shade: No one quite knows who or what they are.
[Raid turns around, and Shade is there]
Raid: Shade! What happened to Levity?
Shade: Eh, he got away. But, I put a transmittor on the Eeksuu.
Raid: Was he heading for the Patriots?
Shade: Yeah. But, they probably gave him a bogus location to start with. But, we have a better lead.
[Shade pulls out a disc]
Shade: This contains a list of names of all the Patriots.
Raid: But.. but Levity took it!
Shade: We gave you a fake.
Raid: Oh.
Shade: This virus was designed to delete the names from the database, which means there's probably a parameter in there with that information on it.
Raid: I get it! Analyze the code, and you'll find the list! Count me in!
Shade: No. You have people to talk to first.
[Shade walks away; Raid turns around, and Cream is there]
Raid: Cream...
Cream: Hello, Shadow.
[they hug]
Cream: Do you remember what today is yet?
Raid: Of course. Today's the release date of The Beatles: Rock Band! I've been looking forward to it for FOREVER!
Cream: *giggle* Yay, you remembered! And, to celebrate you being a good boy and finishing the mission...
[Cream pulls out a copy of the game]
Raid: ZOMG YAY! Thank you very much!
[they walk off-screen; the camera pans New York City while it fades to black]
DARK CHAO ADVENTURES
was created by DJay32
in loving memory of his beloved chao...
including Shade and Shadow.



[BEEP BEEP!]
Tails: Shade, this is Otakit. I've finished going over that disc.
Shade: Did you find the list of names?
Tails: Oh, there was a list of names, all right. Twelve people, all living in Manhattan.
Shade: Uh-huh?
Tails: One of the names was one of our biggest contributors.
Shade: What the?
Tails: And... all twelve people are already dead.
Shade: They ARE? When did THIS happen?
Tails: Over a hundred years ago.
Shade: What is going on here?



Season Seven: THE END
...is just beginning.
Chapter 1281761261216271631318938424813131831831831831831381381381318318318318318388383838383838383838: thes neend???????
[cut to the Dark Garden; Shade just got back, and stumbles in; he tosses his bandanna to the side]
Shade: Ugh... what a mission.
[Shadow comes in, too, and tosses his weird suit thing to the side]
Shadow: Ugh... I know what you mean.
[Dark comes up to them]
Dark: SHAAAAADE! Where have you BEEN for the past two years?
Shade: Please... don't ask.
Dark: Well.. things have been odd without you.
Shade: I don't care! I just want to sleep. I've had a long day...
Shadow: Yes, please, Dark, let us get some sleep.
Dark: Who the heck are YOU?
Shadow: I'm.. Shadow. I used to live here.
Dark: Eh, I don't remember you.
Shadow: Just let us sleep, please!
[Shadow and Shade both sleep on the island at the other end of the pool]
[the next morning...]
Shadow: Ugh.. what a dream. I dreamt the story actually revolved around me for once.
Shade: Funny. I had a similar dream.
?: THOSE WERE NOT MERE DREAMS.
[at the sound of that voice, they instantly get up, and find themselves in the Space/Time Rip beyond the yadda yadda]
[the one who made the voice was a Dalek, surrounded by a few others]
Dalek1: YOU WENT THROUGH A MIGHTY AND AWESOME ADVENTURE...
Dalek2: HOWEVER, YOU ALSO LEARNED OF A SERIOUS THREAT.
Dalek1: IF YOU, GREEN ONE, WILL REMEMBER, THE PATRIOTS WANT TO END DARK CHAO ADVENTURES.
Dalek3: THIS IS NOT GOOD. WE, THE ORDER OF THE DALEKS, DCA DIVISION, MUST URGE YOU TO END THIS THREAT.
Shade: Great, time for another Grey Journey........
Dalek1: CLOSE! IT IS TIME FOR A GREEN JOURNEY!
Shadow: I don't like the sound of this.
Dalek4: FOR A WHILE, THE SERIES DID, INDEED, REVOLVE AROUND SHADE, THE GREY ONE.
Shade: And I was just getting used to it, too.
Dalek2: HOWEVER, YOU HAVE ALREADY EVOLVED INTO A DARK/SWIM CHAO. NOW IT IS SHADOW, THE GREEN ONE'S, TURN.
Shadow: I'm gonna be a Dark/Swim chao, too?
Dalek1: NO. YOU WILL BE A DARK/RUN CHAO.
Dalek5: WHEN WE ARE DONE WITH YOU, YOU WILL LOOK JUST LIKE SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG! YOU WILL BE SO CUTE!
Dalek1: ...HE'S NEW.
Shade: Does this mean we aren't moving to another story arc?
Dalek2: WE ARE. STORY ARC 1 WAS THE BETA AVENGERS. THIS ONE IS.. UH...
Dalek1: THIS ONE IS THE VETERAN'S COMMITTEE.
Shadow: The Veteran's Committee... that's the twelve people at the top of the Patriots, right?
Dalek3: CORRECT.
Shadow: Um... could somebody explain to me what this whole "Green Journey" thing is?
Shade: Basically, you gotta go around, collecting these seven...
Dalek1: GREEN.
Shade: Green chaos drives. ..hey, that's awesome! I wish my chaos drives were grey, or something...
Shadow: Okay, so what happens when I get all seven?
Shade: You'll transform into a Dark/Run chao. Don't worry; it rocks.
Shadow: Um... okay.
Dalek1: GREY ONE.
Shade: Yeah?
Dalek1: NOT EVEN YOU WERE ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH THIS TASK YOURSELF. YOU MUST AID HIM.
Shade: Oh. You want me to.. be his partner? His teammate? He's the hero, I'm not?
Shadow: This might just be fun.
Shade: Enjoy it while it lasts, buddy.
Shadow: Oh, I will.
Shade: So, uh... will Season Eight be called "The Green Journey," and have ten episodes, or something?
Dalek3: N......OT... EXACTLY.
Shade: What's that supposed to mean?
Dalek1: YOU SEE... THE VETERAN'S COMMITTEE IS REALLY TRYING TO SHUT US DOWN. THEY KNOW HOW TO MESS WITH THE SCRIPT.
Shade: .....so, they're worse than the Beta Avengers?
Dalek2: FAR WORSE. THEY ARE THE BETA AVENGERS OF THE REAL WORLD, BUT WITHOUT THE BETAS.
Shade: Great, greenie gets to fight the cooler enemies.
Shadow: Yay!
Shade: So, what does this mean?
Dalek3: SEASON SEVEN IS TITLED "THE END." IF YOU CAN READ, THE ENDING SAID "THE END IS JUST BEGINNING."
Shade: Just tell me in English!
Dalek1: THIS SEASON WILL EXTEND FOR AS MANY EPISODES AS IT TAKES FOR YOU TO KILL THE VETERAN'S COMMITTEE.
Shadow: Oh, boy... and it took us five episodes just to finish this ONE story.
Dalek2: THIS SERIAL, "METAL GEAR SHADE 2," SHOULD GIVE YOU AND OUR READERS A NICE IDEA OF HOW LONG THIS SEASON WILL BE.
Shadow: So, um... Dalek people? Where is the first chaos drive?
Dalek1: WE HAVE DETECTED THAT THE FIRST CHAOS DRIVE RESIDES SOMEWHERE ON FUTURE EARTH.
Shade: Gears of War time?
Dalek2: NO. SOMEWHERE IN FUTURE EUROPE.
Shade: ................................AW, HELLS YES! Teleport me there, sucka!
Shadow: Wait, hang on... why do I need to be a Dark/Run chao, again?
Shade: You'll have enough power by then, when combined with my power, to kick some Veteran's Committee butts.
Dalek1: WE SHALL NOW TELEPORT YOU TO(WIe9-awujrui9bgqy8e4t e3ui90q3or
asko-rjtaestod90yuts s
tsersts
ysu
sysg
gustuisrt=ouserysery
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Chapter 9: Things Went Wrong.
TO BE CONTINUED...