Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Krissimassu. "Part Two of Fear."

Shadow: The series revolves around me now. Not Shade. I'm going on a Green Journey to collect seven green chaos drives.
Shade: And I'm helping!
Shadow: I NEED to do this, otherwise the Veteran's Commitee--
Shade: --the new bad guys--
Shadow: --will end DCA. And who wants that?
Shade: Other than the bad guys, of course.
Shadow: No, not even THEY want to. They just... think they have to, in order to continue evolution.
Shade: Good cause, bad execution.
Shadow: Anyway, the first chaos drive is in Future Europe, which turns out to be Half-Life 2.
Shade: Awesome game. One of the best games of all time.
Shadow: The bad guys want me to kill Eggman, who is the ruler of the world in the future.
Shade: He's playing the role of Doctor Breen.
Shadow: Dark and Red joined us as we were escaping the city, 'cause.. the cops hate us now.
Shade: We're currently on the underground railroad. Technically, we're on a canal... in a boat.
Shadow: And according to this woman, we're gonna have to go across a CHANNEL. Just to reach Cham's lab.
Shade: Which is where we're going! Enjoy!

Season 7: THE END (AKA Season 6 part 2)
Episode Sixty: Still Waiting for Half-Time part two: of Fear

[cut to a static shot of a creek; "Still Waiting for Half-Time" appears at the top of the screen]
[at the left side of the screen: New Game, Load Game, Options, Quit]
[a mouse cursor clicks "Load Game," then "Save Game 01"]
Chapter 4: Wet Hazard (part 2)
[we resume our story outside a large facility... I mean, REALLY large, with towers and barbed wire and searchlights]
[Shadow has parked the boat behind a big rock]
Shadow: Okay, Dark... you sure you want to do this?
Dark: You kidding? I've been DYING to be Solid Dark!
Shade: Keep quiet! First rule of espionage, Dark-- be stealthy!
Dark: Oh! Sorry.
Shadow: Are you sure you don't want us to come in with you?
Red: I think it's best just he goes in. Think about it-- THREE freaks in sneaking suits in there?
Shadow: Good point.
Shade: Okay, Dark-o... make us proud.
Dark: Don't I get a codec, or anything like that?
Red: Sorry, Dark, but no. We've got walkie-talkies, though!
[so, Dark swims towards the base, and comes out in a small dock]
Dark: Hm. This is gonna be fun! Oop! Quiet.
[he enters a door, and sneaks through some dark corridors]
[cut to the airboat]
Shadow: *sigh* You guys think he'll come back?
Red: Who, Dark? Of course not.
Shade: Yeah, he's gonna die in a few seconds. 3, 2, 1--
Shade: Called it.
[the walkie-talkie turns on]
Dark (on radio): Guys... guys... help... I.. I've found the button, but... but...
Shadow: But what, Dark?
Dark: But... they caught me. Help..
Shadow: Shade, you wanna do this?
Shade: No. I want US to do this.
Red: I'll just leave you two... kids alone, then.
Shade: Yeah, as soon as those words came out of my mouth, I knew.. they were not right.
Shadow: ...let's just go.
Shade: Yeah, I'm comin'.
[so, Solid Shade and Shadow Raid swim to the base, and go through many rooms filled with dead cops]
Shadow: Whoa. Seems like Dark actually put up a fight.
Shade: Of course. I trained him.
[they head up some stairs, and find themselves in a large construction yard, filled with crates]
Shade: It's quiet here... TOO quiet.
[a helicopter hovers upwards, facing them]
[they see it]
Shadow: ...wonderful.
[the helicopter charges something up]
Shadow: Shade? What do we do now?
[they dash through multiple crates as the helicopter fires rapid machine-gun fire at them]
[they manage to make it into a large warehouse]
Shade: I think we're safe now.
Dark: Guys?
[in the center of the room is Dark, tied to a pole]
Dark: This isn't very comfortable.
Shade: Hang on, buddy; we'll get you out of there.
[suddenly, tons of cops swarm into the room, and release some manhacks at them]
Shade: Pfft, MANHACKS? That's the best you can do?
[Shade takes care of them quickly]
[Shadow shoots the cops; they die]
[they unties Dark]
Shadow: Dark, you really shouldn't have gone in here alone. This place is a madhouse!
Dark: I know.. but... but, I found the button! It's through here! C'mon!
[Dark leads them through a doorway; the helicopter hovers outside the windows, and charges up its guns]
Shade: As fast as you can.
[they dash to a door, but find a pile of boxes blocking it]
[the helicopter is almost done charging]
Dark: Break it open, Shade!
Shade: I'm trying! *SMASH*
[the helicopter shoots at them, and breaks the windows]
[they dash through the door, and down some stairs]
[unfortunately, they wind up back in the construction yard]
Shade: Keep running!
Dark: The button's this way, in that guard tower!
[they hurry to the tower, and climb the ladder]
[at the top is a bunch of cops]
Dark: ohai
[Dark tosses a grenade in the room, then the chao duck]
Shadow: Okay, now where's that button of yours?
Dark: *points at button* Right...
[the chao slowly turn to look out the windows; the helicopter is right there]
Dark: ....*presses button* ..there. RUN!
[they hurry down the ladder, and dash down a little balcony overlooking the water]
Shade: (shouting into radio) RED, START THE AIRBOAT! START THE AIRBOAT!
[the chao leap over the railing in slow-motion as the helicopter fires at them]
[Red comes by with the airboat just in time for the chao to land in it]
[..except Dark, who hits the front of the boat, and falls into the water]
Dark: Oof!
[Shade then pulls him up]
Dark: Thank you.
Red: Shadow, you want the wheel?
Shadow: Yes, please.
[Shadow drives the boat through the now-open gate, and into the canals again]
Red: Uh... Shadow?
Shadow: Yeah?
Red: You might wanna drive faster.
[the helicopter flies above them, and drops some mines]
Shadow: I.. don't know HOW to drive faster.
[the mines land in the water in front of them]
Red: Then at least STEER!
[the boat flies into the air a bit]
Shadow: Nyaaah... this is gonna be fun. Hold on to yer hats, folks!
[Shadow carefully maneuvers the boat through a U-turn... and into a wall]
Shadow: Ow. Okay, NOW hold on to yer hats!
[he drives it into a small little sewer/tunnel thing]
Shadow: Hm. I wonder where this tunnel leads.
Red: Probably out into more suburb. I mean, we're not that far from the city, y'know.
Dark: My head hurts.
Shadow: That's probably because you hit it on the front of the boat, Dark.
Dark: Yeah, thanks to Red's piloting skills.
Red: Hey, I wasn't trained to drive this thing!
Shadow: Neither was I, yet I'm sufficing.
[the tunnel ends at a clearing; the time is now around... 6 PM; the sky is turning orange]
Shadow: Getting kinda late, isn't it? I wish we could find some sort of outpost to rest at...
Shade: We will. Not for another hour, mind you, but we will.
Red: Just be glad that the helicopter is nowhere in sight.
[the helicopter hovers in front of them]
Red: ...oh....... good luck, dude.
[the helicopter turns around, and starts flying in the same direction as them]
Shadow: ?
[it then starts dropping mines in strategically painful locations]
[at the same time, the boat's radio turns on]
Radio: You're listening to 200.1 FM, Chao Chat. "All A-Life, all YOUR life."
Shadow: Okay, WHO turned the radio on?
Radio: Now, we have for you, some good old-fashioned heavy rock. Perfect for chase scenes! Enjoy!
[some heavy rock starts playing]
Dark: Ooh, keep it on, I love this song!
[the boat swerves around to avoid mines]
[eventually, they go under some cover, and make a big jump into another sewer pipe]
Radio: ...oh, technical difficulties; we have to cut this song short. Thanks for listening.
[the radio turns off]
Shadow: That was strangely easy to avoid.
[they come out in another canal-- an industrial one]
[there are some silos and pipes above them]
Red: Hmm.. I recognize those structures up there. We're in Pipeline 7982-B.
Shadow: Where's that?
Red: Actually, we're... at least 40 miles from the city by now.
[the helicopter keeps following them, and even starts shooting at them again]
[AND the canals here have many junctions]
Shadow: Crap.
[AAAND cops come by and shoot at them, too]
[AAAAAAND the helicopter drops plenty of mines]
Shadow: AARGH, is Valve TRYING to kill us?
Dark: I asked the same question in Half-Life 1.
Red: Yeah, we had to ride a full-speed train into a.. train-stopper thing.
Dark: And then we were flung out of the train, and into a pile of toxic waste.
Red: While aliens attacked us.
Shade: Forget about Black Mesa; just DRIVE!
[Shadow drives through the canals, and up many make-shift ramps]
[..suddenly, a truck stops nearby, and begins firing homing rockets at them]
[ the mines are being dropped]
Shadow: Craaap!
[all the rockets hit the helicopter; it spirals down to the ground]
[they drive into another sewage pipe]
Shadow: *sigh* At least the helicopter's down.
Red: Yes, but for how long?
Shadow: What do you mean?
Red: When it hit the ground, did you hear an explosion? I didn't.
Shadow: You're saying they're gonna repair it, aren't you?
Red: Undoubtedly.
[they find a random blockade/gate]
Tail: Ahoy there!
[Tail, the baby Hero chao, as well as his Future counterpart, have set up a little fort]
TailF: Oh, well, lookee what we have here. Shade, Dark, Red, and... uh......
Shadow: I'm Shadow.
TailF: Ah, of course. You seemed familiar. Kid, let 'em in.
[Tail lets them into the fort]
Tail: It's good to see you four again.
TailF: Okay, enough small talk. Kid, go upgrade their boat. It's lookin' a little.. malnourished.
Tail: Aye-aye, captain!
[Future Tail leads the four into an office; a large map is on the wall]
TailF: I take it you children are headed to Cham's place, right?
Shade: Right.
TailF: Then lemme show ya what you're up against. See, we're riiiiiiight here, at the top of this map...
[he moves his hand down the map]
TailF: You wanna go down this river. It goes directly to the Channel.
Shadow: But wait, what's all this stuff over here, next to the river?
TailF: Oh, that? That's Port 18. Steer clear of there.
Shadow: Got it. Thanks for the help.
TailF: Hold it, that ain't all the help you're gettin' from us.
[he leads them back to their boat; regular Tail is tinkering with it]
TailF: Kid!
[Tail bonks his head, then turns around]
Tail: Ohai.
TailF: You about done?
Tail: Just about.
TailF: Good. What Shorty, here, has done to your boat is, he's installed a gun into it.
Thefour: YES!
TailF: The cool thing is: the gun came from the same kinda chopper that's gunnin' you down.
Dark: I love bringing iron into a firefight.
Red: I believe you mean, "irony."
Dark: Ew, irony-flavor. Tastes bad.
TailF: Anyway, we'll let you through now. Nice chattin' with ya.
Tail: Bye!
[they let them through]
[Shadow drives the boat out of the sewage pipe, and is instantly greeted by the chopper]
Shadow: Shade. Gun. Now.
Shade: Woohoo!
[Shade grabs the chopper-gun thing, and shoots at the helicopter; an explosion is heard; the chopper flies away]
[they go through a jump, and see the river ahead blocked off, leaving the only route left being...]
Red: Port 18...
Shadow: I think we can take it.
Red: *gulp* I hope your thinking is right.
[they drive through some awesome jumps; Shade shows off his kickass shooting skills]
[then, they enter Port 18; cops surround them]
Dark: Shadow! Put the pedal to the metal to the other pedal!
["MY LEG!"]
[they drive through plenty of narrow corridors, explosive barrels, rockets, jumps, and U-turns]
[...and cops]
[eventually, they reach a dead-end]
Shadow: Crap.
Shade: Hold on a sec.
[Shade shoots at some explosive barrels; they... explode :P, revealing an exit]
Shadow: Smart thinking.
[they drive out]
[this time, they find themselves in a much more open space; barren rocks and shallow water surround them]
[a crashed ship is to their right; a dam is forward]
Red: Well, isn't THIS eerie?
Shadow: I'm getting something... normally, in video games, open space = boss battle, right?
Shade: *chuckle* Yep. It equals that moreso in Valve games, which are filled with narrow corridors.
Shadow: Hm. I feel scared.
Shade: Don't. Move on.
[forward, they go]
[the helicopter flies down to them]
Shadow: .....Shade. Switch.
Shade: Huh?
Shadow: You drive. I'll shoot.
Shade: Oh, you want revenge on this F.O.B, huh?
Shadow: Hell yeah.
[they switch seats; the helicopter charges at them; Shade does the same]
[Shadow fires away]
[the two vehicles pass each other, turn around, and do it again]
[this time, the chopper's flight messes up]
Shadow: That's right, buddy... flinch...
Dark: What's it doing?!
[it slowly moves forward, toward them, while deploying every single mine it has]
[the skies are filled with mines, dropping towards the ground]
Shadow: Don't move, Shade.
Shade: You sure?
Shadow: Yeah. This'll only take a second...
All: YAY!
Shade: Fancy shootin' there.
Shadow: Thanks.
Red: Guys?
Shade: *sigh* What NOW, Red?
[Red points to the area in front of them, covered in mines]
Shade+Shadow: Aw, shi--
[the boat flies in the air, and miraculously lands out in the Channel]
Shade: *hack* Whoa... that was fun.
Dark: Let's do that again...
[a mine drops by them]
Dark: CRAP! I wasn't being serious! AH!
[Shade drives them away]
[they slowly and uneventfully drive across the Channel]
Red: Anybody else getting a major "Top Gear" vibe from this?
Dark: Yo.
Shade: Seconded.
Shadow: A-yup.
Red: *sigggh*
[they spend a while just doin' some sailing]
Shade: Dark, Red?
Dark+Red: Yeah?
Shade: How have the Gardens been during those two years Shadow and I were gone?
Red: Good.
Dark: Terrible.
[Dark and Red stutter]
Dark: I mean, good.
Red: Eh, horrible.
[they stutter again]
Shade: I get it; you needed us.
Dark: Not exactly! ...just you.
Shadow: Pfft, that's kind of you.
Shade: So, uh.. any specific details? Like.. did the Gardens, like, totally fall apart, or what?
Red: You could say that.
Dark: Chao took over the Dark Garden.
Shade: lolwut
Shadow: You mean... he... converted it?
Dark: No. I mean, he.. took over.
Shade: He took over, as in, changed Darks into Heroes?
Dark: No! He took over!
Red: What Darko's TRYING to say is-- ohey, we're here.
[they reach a big dam]
Shadow: Great. How are we supposed to get through THAT?
[Red spies a ladder on the dam]
Red: We're not. We gotta ditch the boat.
Dark: *gasp* DITCH this poor boat? But I luvs it!
Shade: There'll be toast.
Dark: Then what are we waiting for? Let's ditch that sucker.
[they climb the ladder, and find, at the top, a small building]
Chapter 5: Cham Labs East
[they enter it; the door behind them slams shut; the lights go off]
?: We've got something.
[steam hisses into the room]
?: ..okay, they're chao..... hmm.. you'll have to forgive the scanning process; we can't take any chances.
[a red laser scans them]
?: Shadow? Shadow the Dark chao? Well, Cham will be surprised, not to mention relieved, to hear about your sudden arrival!
[they are let through; the future Purflee (female) formally greets them]
PFF: I'm Purflee, Doctor Purflee the First. I've been hearing about your work since long before the Big Shell incident.
Shadow: Ah, you've heard of that?
PFF: Of course. We here at Cham Labs East are kept up-to-date on all revolutionary events, including things as confidential as that.
Shadow: That's good to hear.
[Purflee begins leading them through the facility]
Shadow: So, uh.. I'm looking for a Green Chaos Drive. You guys know where I can find one?
PFF: A GREEN Chaos Drive, you say? Hm, no, I don't believe I do. Perhaps Cham can help you.
Red: Say, what have you guys been working on down here?
PFF: A new kind of teleport. You see, the one the robots use is a yaddayaddayaddasciencemumbojumbo-type teleport.
Dark: *GASP* NO WAY! That is SOOOO primitive. I take it you guys are using the YaddayaddayadaaCAPITAL-type teleport?
PFF: We're working on it. Still a few kinks to work out. Heh, Shadow can testify to that, can't ya?
Shadow: It's not funny. I nearly got eaten by a freaking Icky.
Dark: I like the White Stripes.
PFF: ...yes, well, uh.. lookitthat, we're there!
[they reach a laboratory deep underground; the future Cham is talking with a Dalek]
ChamF: That's good. You keep right on it.
[the Dalek turns and moves out the door]
PFF: Cham! Look who I found in the airlock.
ChamF: Heh, Shadow the Dark chao... and Shade, Dark, n' Red? Lemme get a good look at you, man.
[Cham shakes hands with the four]
ChamF: Let me see, the last time I saw you, I sent you to get me some coffee. Never thought it'd take you this long.
Shadow: Ha, well... I was recruited for the whole... Big Shell incident.
ChamF: Of course, and what an incident THAT was, hm? Anyway, welcome to our labs.
Shade: They're no Black Mesa, are they?
ChamF: No, but they're enough to suffice during this time.
Shade: Meh. I guess.
PFF: Cham, I have some work to do, so.. I'll go do that. By the way, Shadow? It's been a real honor meeting you.
Shadow: Uh... thanks?
[Purflee goes to work on some stuff]
ChamF: Shadow, I presume you're here to ask if I know where to get a green Chaos Drive, correct?
Shadow: Yeah. Where can we find one?
ChamF: I'm afraid that green Chaos Drives are hard to obtain these days. They can only be found on the Chao World.
ShadeRed+Dark: DAMMIT.
Shadow: That's certainly not good to hear.
ChamF: But, I've been doing some research on them, and have found something curious.
Shadow: Mmhmm?
ChamF: They're no longer on Chao World.
Red: So... where ARE they?
ChamF: I'm still trying to figure that out.
ShadeF: Yo, Doc, Shadow here yet?
[the future Shade enters the room]
ShadeF: There you are! The Daleks said you were here. I can't believe you guys made it here so quickly on foot.
ChamF: I believe he broke YOUR record, Shade.
Shade: Hey! That's not really possible, since... I mean, he IS me. And I was part of this group.
ShadeF: Oh, buddy, there's a lot of stuff I have got to tell you.
[Purflee comes back out]
PFF: Shade? I thought you were on watch.
ShadeF: The Daleks relieved me so I could come help the green dude.
PFF: Hmph. Fine.
ChamF: Shade, why don't you go ahead and teach Shadow how to use the gravity gun?
ShadeF: Good idea. C'mon, you four; let's go have some fun.
PFF: The zero-point energy-field manipulator is NOT a toy, Shade.
ShadeF: ...let's go.
[they leave the room, and head down some corridors]
ShadeF: I see you've met Purflee the Wet Towel.
All: A-yup.
[they pass a dark hallway; a single light is on at the other end, showing a ladder]
Shadow: What's down there?
ShadeF: That's the path to Ravenholm. It's an old mining town. We don't go there anymore.
[the Twilight Zone theme starts playing]
Shadow: ....spooky.
ShadeF: C'mon, let's keep going.
[they reach a large junkyard]
ShadeF: Now, where'd we put that old piece of junk? Ah, here it is.
[future Shade grabs a large gun...thing, and hands it to Shadow]
Shadow: ...what the heck IS it?
ShadeF: THIS.. is the Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator. We call it the Gravity Gun.
Shadow: Cool. ..what's it do?
ShadeF: I'll show you.
[he moves over to an old junk pile, picks up a crate, and tosses it at Shadow]
Shadow: OW! What'dja do THAT for?
ShadeF: *sigh* Try using the GUN, buddy.
[he throws another; Shadow does something or other on the gun; the crate stops, and floats in front of him]
Shadow: Whoa. What the smack?
ShadeF: Of COURSE it works. Cham built it.
[some scanner robot things fly into the junkyard]
ShadeF: oshi--
[they take pictures of the chao]
ShadeF: They found us! Quick, back to the lab!
[they run in]
[the hall caves in, seperating the four present chao from future Shade]
ShadeF: Crap. CRAP... uh... um... guys, listen, as much as I hate to say this, we're gonna have to split up for now.
Shadow: Aw, crap.
ShadeF: Now, listen closely: you guys have to head for the coast. The only way to get there is through Ravenholm.
Shadow: But... but I thought we don't go there!
ShadeF: Looks like you're gonna have to. I gotta go... Cham may be in trouble. Good luck! I'll meet up with you at the coast.
[future Shade leaves]
Red: Well? We gonna do that, or not?
Shadow: I... I don't know if I want to.
Shade: C'mon, Shadow; Ravenholm's EASY.
Shadow: But, what if the Veteran's Committee change everything?
Shade: Then.. it'll be fun, probably. Let's just go!
[Shade, Dark, and Red run off; Shadow sighs, and follows them]
[they reach a big ladder]
Shadow: Really, guys, I don't know about this...
Shade: What's the worst that could happen?
[a dead headcrab falls down]
Shade: ...besides that.
[they climb the ladder]
Chapter 6: "Dead Ravenhell," Tagline: We Don't Go There Anymore... Without Weapons.
[at the top of the ladder, they find themselves in a small town at the middle of the night]
[crows are cawing]
[Shade, Dark, and Red look at each other with fear, wishing they had never gone up]
[Shadow creeps forward, until he sees a tree with someone's legs attached to it]
[the four slowly avoid it, and enter a house]
[in the house, a zombie (now with headcrab attachment) comes at them]
[buddabuddabudda; Red takes good care of the zombie]
[they move forward, taking care of many zombies]
[they exit into the town, and hear three high-pitched notes played on a piano]
Shade: *gasp* Guys. Look around. Look now. Stick together.
Red: What is it, Shade?
Shade: No.. no, this isn't possible... this.. this is the wrong game! No!
[the same three notes are played on a viola]
Shadow: Shade.... what do we do?
Shade: Aaa, nooo, noo, no, no... guys, I'm scared. I'm scared now. Who's it gonna hit? Who?
[snarrrrrrrl... grrrrrowlllllll...]
Dark: .......I recognize that sound.
[a hooded figure pounces at Dark, and pins him down; Dark is then clawed at]
Red: Um! Uh! Uhhhh.... oh, right!
[Red shoots it; it dies, and Dark gets up]
Dark: Owwww... Shade.. please tell me that wasn't what I think it was.
Shade: I'm afraid it was, buddy.
Shadow: What was it? What's going on?
Shade: Shadow, you'd better master your new gun. We're gonna need it.
Shadow: Um... okay. I'll work on it.
Shade: Red... work on your reflexes. If I'm right, we're gonna encounter quite a number of those things.
Red: Right. Sorry.
Shade: Dark?
Dark: Y..yeah?
Shade: You need a weapon. Badly.
Dark: I want a pulse rifle, but we're not getting those until later.
Shade: about a shotgun?
Dark: That's fine. I'd.. I'd like one of those.
Shade: ..we've got to keep moving. ARGH, we can't stand around for too long, or he'll send something worse...
[Shade begins moving forward]
Shade: C'mon, guys.
[they move on through the town]
[eventually, they hear a lot of shrieks in the distance]
Shade: Aw, jeez...
[dramatic music plays]
Shade: Pick up the pace, guys! Stick together, but run!
Shadow: Why? What's happen--what the fu--
[a huge horde of figures are seen running towards them from all directions]
[budda budda budda]
[budda budda budda]
[suddenly, Red is grabbed by a long tongue, and dragged away]
Red: ACK! AH! URP.. HEL..P ME!
[Shadow is the only one who sees this; Shade and Dark are too busy fighting off hordes of zombies]
Shadow: Um... uh... oh, crap... uh.. hang on, Red!
Red: Urp.. not.. much else I CAN.. do... ugh...
[Shadow proceeds to gravity gun a rock (yup, "gravity gun" is a verb now), and toss it at the tongue]
[nothing happens]
Red: The.. Smoker! Shoot.. the... Smoker!
Shadow: What the heck's a Smoker?
[he sees a tall zombie, to whom the tongue belongs, coughing and excreting smoke]
Shadow: ...oh.
[he gravity guns another rock, and hits the smoker square in the head; Red is set free]
Red: Ow. Thank you.
[they meet up with Shade and Dark, who have just finished finishing off the zombies]
Shade: *pant* I... I friggin' hate the Veteran's Committee now.
Red: *deep breath* Are you sure it's.. them? Who's doing this?
Shade: Hey, who else CAN it be?
Dark: The MILKMAN.
Shade: Yeah, but he's my dad. And he's... actually, he's.... o snap.
Shadow: Your dad.. Shawn, right? Isn't he.. dead?
Shade: He died during the Libfairy incident.
Dark: But wait... we've been to the Future before, Shade! Your dad's been here!
Shade: *sigh* Boys, I believe we are now messing with the time line. Or, rather, DJay is. Or the Veteran's Committee.
[Shade realizes something, and snaps his fingers]
Shade: Of course! The Veteran's Committee wants to end this script, so they're tearing it apart! Even the very logic used to hold it together! CURSE YOU, VETERAN'S COMMITTEE!
[suddenly, they hear a bunch of shrieks in the distance AGAIN]
Shade: Shi...argh.
Red: What are we gonna do? We're too tired to fight more!
Shadow: ...are you guys too tired to play music?
Red: Well.. no, but what's that got to do with anything?
Shadow: I've got a plan.
[cut to Rubber Goose (Shade-drums, Red-bass, Dark-guitar, Shadow's the spokesperson)]
Red: *plugs guitar into amp* Ready.
Shade: *drum warm-up* All set.
[Dark shreds a freestyle guitar solo, and goes all-out; everyone stares at him]
Dark: *ends solo* ...bring it on. Okay, Shadow, count us off.
[Shadow stands in front, holding his hands up]
Shadow: 'Kay, guys, Boogie de la Satch in C.
Dark: *sigh* He means "Satch Boogie," guys.
Shadow: One! ...three! One, two, three, four!
[ ]
[Shade starts off with a bouncy, jazzy cymbal intro]
[the zombies stop charging at them, and start standing around]
[BAM, Dark and Red play a bit, then Dark goes on a little guitar tangent]
[and again]
[they do some more of those until Dark begins playing a long solo]
[Red just plays a basic little rhythm]
[Shade gives a nice jazzy beat]
[Dark gets rather carried away in his soloing]
[by now, the zombies have formed an audience, and are cheering]
[after a long solo, it seems as if the song is going to end as Dark and Red both play long sustained notes]
[..until Shade plays a steady heavy beat, and Dark jams to a double-snake melody]
[and again]
[and again, all with different base notes]
[after a long time, Red plays the base notes in bass, as Dark keeps up his melody]
[the crowd goes wild as finally, this guitar solo ends]
[then, they go back to the duo and guitar tangents for a bit before finally ending the song]
Shadow: Ladies and gentlecrabs, please give it up for Rubber Goose!
Shadow: There. I doubt they'll threaten to murder a bunch of musicians, now, will they?
Shade: I guess not.
Red: That was actually a good idea, Shadow.
Shadow: Thanks. Now, let's move on.
[they force their way through the crowd, until they reach a dead end]
?: HA HA HAAAA.... *gunshot* YES, MY CHILDREN... *gunshot* DANCE FOR ME!
[the chao look up, and see a figure standing in a balcony, shooting zombies with a shotgun]
[Are you ready for a super-shocking twist?]
[It's... FUTURE AMY ROSE! Holy sheep! O_O]
[her hair is messed up, she has blatant crow's feet, and she's switched to a dress that doesn't show her panties :P]
Shadow: Um... excuse me, Miss Rose?
[she looks down at them]
AmyF: That's MISSUS Rose to you, newcomer! And welcome to Ravenholm! *crazy laughter* Hope you can stick around!
[she points her gun at them]
AmyF: You guys... WILL stick around, won't you?
Shadow: Well.. we've got to get goi--
[Shadow looks at the others, who gesture "YES, YES, YES!"]
Shadow: I mean....yes, ma'am, we will!
AmyF: That's good, then! *shoots zombie behind them* Could you guys meet me at the church on the other side of town?
Shadow: Um.. okay, I.. I guess.
AmyF: Splendid! See you there, cutie-pies!
[Amy leaves into the window behind her, laughing maniacally]
Dark: ...anybody else think she looks hotter now?
[Shade covertly shakes Dark's hand]
Dark: Just checkin'.
[they see a door in front of them that is now open]
[they run inside, and seal the door]
Red: Shade, quick question.
Shade: Yeah?
Red: Are we playing Half-Life 2, or Left 4 Dead?
Dark: Yeah, seriously. I mean, we're in a freaking SAFEROOM right now!
Shade: I think we're playing a combination between them right now.
Shadow: Guys, I'm.. starting to think this is a three-way of games.
Red: What makes you think that?
Shadow: Just... just a feeling. I mean... I don't think Satch Boogie was in either Left 4 Dead OR Half-Life 2...
Shade: No way. You can't be suggesting.. Rock Band, as well?
Shadow: I'm just saying, don't be surprised if we have to play more songs.
[the chao stare at the door in front of them as they hear noises coming from beyond]

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