Go there. NOW.
Oh, and...
Friday, May 29, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Sorry, haven't been on in a while.
First, it was DCA09 taking so long to finish.
Then, school.
Then, a small break.
Now, it's Facebook. AND DCA09.
So, sorry about that. Not to worry, though. Just be patient, and AMAZING things will come. Truly amazing things. EXTRA amazing things. ....maybe.
So..... so.... yeah.
Then, school.
Then, a small break.
Now, it's Facebook. AND DCA09.
So, sorry about that. Not to worry, though. Just be patient, and AMAZING things will come. Truly amazing things. EXTRA amazing things. ....maybe.
So..... so.... yeah.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Shade-on, "Final Hazards"
DARK CHAO ADVENTURES
Bonus Series
"Professor Shade-on and the Curious Animals"
JOURNAL (Chapter 7)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? SOLVED
- Time for the answer! The culprit whom released the animals is to be revealed! But, who is he? UNSOLVED
SUSPECTS: Mecha Knuckles (Male, Mecha)- Shade's mentor in this case. Would have gained respect among Poker Gang.
Tikal (Female, in custody)- Arrested for murder of Knuckles. Would have gained Knuckles' death (revenge).
Mephiles (Male, demon)- Demonic being, murdered Eggman, works at Burger King. Would have gained revenge on Knuckles, on chao.
Chaos (Male probably, god of destruction)- Unknown. Owns Chaos Cola bar. Unknown what would have gained.
Punchinello (Male, principal of CPAK)- Full: Punchinello Kawizzyworth. Unknown what would have gained.
So, whodunitz?
Chapter 8: Shade-on Versus the Anonymous Culprit
[cut to the Stardust Eggman, in the attic]
SShade: After re-reading my evidence, it is obvious to me now. The culprit is--
MK: Ap! Quiet. Let your desciples find out tonight.
Chy: Tonight?
Zagu: What happens tonight?
MK: You will find out. For now, here's the full information on the Government Animals Project.
The Government Animals Project (G-A Project) (File #1191212-38115)
G-A stands for "Government-Animals," which fits quite nicely. The government filed this report years ago, around January 9th, 2004, I believe. I don't remember the specifics, but it has something to do with placing animals under mind control. GOVERNMENT mind control. The worst kind, *shudder*. The animals were given some sort of poison, as well. A chemical of some sort, that gave them strange instincts. VERY strange. Not what the government wanted, so they decided to can the project. I'm not sure why it has resurfaced, though... and in one week, they were going to completely eliminate the plans. Make it so this project never existed. Very strange how the plans appear to be intact, and better than ever, huh?
Someone brought this project back to life, all right. Someone on the inside. This person probably works for the CIA, and is very serious about his or her work. This person certainly put a lot of thought into how to release the animals, from the looks of it. Then again, that might not be true. Alls I know is... when this project is finished, your gardens will be, too.
Around the time the G-A Project was brought back, Chaos, the god of destruction, opened up the Chaos Cola bar in Station Square. That night, Doctor Eggman was murdered by Mephiles. Mephiles is suspected as being the person behind the project.
[the chao stare in awe, except the Professor]
Zagu: So... so it was Mephiles all along?
SShade: Nope. It wasn't Mephiles.
Mephiles' Doings (Why it wasn't Mephiles)
Sure, Mephiles killed Eggman. But, that, itself, isn't enough proof. The only reason Mephiles killed him is because he "knew too much." As you should know, Mephiles has been known to not only kill people randomly, but he has held a grudge against Eggman for a while.
Sure, Mephiles planned on killing Knuckles. Only because Knuckles was his boss, and promoted somebody else instead of his pal. That's really the only reason.
That's all that he has done. Not enough proof for him to be called the culprit.
Chy: Ooh! Ooh! It has to have been Mister Punchinello Kawizzyworth!
SShade: Wasn't him, either.
Punchinello's Doings (Why it wasn't Mister Kawizzyworth)
Punchinello Kawizzyworth is a vaguely strange person. However, once you realize something, he's not. He is actually just one of those people, one of those suck-ups, brown-nosers, basically, he found the culprit, and thought he was awesome. So, he decided to stick by him all this time. He's not the kind of person who would do something that bad.
Zagu: What about Mecha?
MK: WHAT?! Ya little runt!
SShade: Just trust me, Zagu. It wasn't Mecha.
Chaosky: Well, you've shot down every one of the suspects.
SShade: Not EVERY one.
MK: Hmm... you chao had better run along, now. It's nearly nighttime.
[cut to the Chao Lobby at night]
[the animals have been completely destroying everything]
Zagu: Professor, what are we doing here?
SShade: Simple. The culprit always returns to the scene of the crime. In this case--
[vvvvvvvrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! (chainsaw)]
Chy: Who's that?
SShade: The same person behind everything.
[in comes the culprit, carrying a chainsaw]
?: You chao are gonna pay! Pay for everything!
[SShade trips him]
?: Oof!
[he drops the chainsaw]
[he looks back with two glowing, green eyes]
?: Of course... more chao.... well, I can still kill you without a chainsaw!
SShade: Really, now?
?: Wait a second... you're Shade. The female Shade. You got Tikal arrested! *chuckle* I guess I oughta thank you for that.
[zoom in on the two green eyes]
?: Too bad that's the only good you've done.
The Duel ("The Big One" conclusion)
[dramatic music and camera angles]
[SShade tells the other two to stand back]
[the culprit instantly attacks her]
[she fights back with some dodges (wait wut)]
[the culprit misses a lot, before melting away]
SShade: Oh, no you don't!
[SShade chases after a puddle as it teleports away (via the Chao Exit thingy)]
[the other two follow]
[cut to a highway (somehow, they got there)]
[SShade chases the puddle into a streetlight, where she trips and screams]
SShade: AAAHHH!!! I broke my leg! I can't move!
[the puddle stops, and forms into a solid shape-- a blue, humanoid figure with two glowing, green eyes]
?: Behold... it's Chaos.... the GOD.... of DESTRUCTION!
[Chaos starts laughing maniacally as he slowly steps towards SShade, on the ground, squirming]
SShade: Stay... stay away!
Chaos: Sorry, Nirvana... but this is one guy who won't stay away!
[suddenly, SShade hops up and punches Chaos in the face]
Chaos: AH! ****!
[Chaos melts in a weird way, so he's half-puddle and half-Chaos]
SShade: Book 'em!
[the police appear out of nowhere and arrest Chaos]
Chaos: Mark my words, Shade.... I will get you for this. I.... WILL!
[cut to the Stardust Eggman, attic; Mecha is there, as are the chao]
MK: So, how'd you figure it out?
SShade: It was quite simple. A strange bar appears out of nowhere, we get kidnapped there, and stuff like that.
Zagu: Was it really that simple?
SShade: Well, the fact that Chaos and Tikal were lovers definitely helped.
All: WHAT?!
MK: Not even I knew that!
SShade: You didn't know? It was pretty obvious from the way Chaos was acting that he lost a loved one.
MK: Amazing. Little girl chao, you are an ace detective.
SShade: I sure am.
?: But, one thing's still not clear.
MYSTERY: Final Hazards
[Metal comes into the room]
MS: Yeah, yeah, I've heard the whole thing, and I could tell that Chaos and Tikal were loverbirds, but still, one question remains.
MK: And that is?
MS: Why?
[SShade stares, eyes wide]
SShade: I... I never really thought of that.
MS: Well, motives are everything, so you'd better think of SOMETHING, FAST.
MK: Good point. The cops won't be able to hold Chaos for too long without an explanation.
SShade: Hmm.... meet me in the Police Station in one hour. I think I've got one.
The final mystery!
JOURNAL (Chapter 8)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? SOLVED (BIG "SOLVED")
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? SOLVED
- Time for the answer! The culprit whom released the animals is to be revealed! But, who is he? SOLVED
- Can't hold him forever! Chaos did it, alright! But, why? UNSOLVED
Facts:
Chaos started Chaos Cola, WHY?
Chaos killed Knuckles, HOW? WHY?
Chaos unleashed the animals, HOW? WHY?
Chaos got Punchinello to be an accomplice, HOW? WHY?
Chaos kidnapped SShade, WHY?
Chaos set them free, WHY?
Chaos went to the gardens with a chainsaw, WHY?
Bonus Series
"Professor Shade-on and the Curious Animals"
JOURNAL (Chapter 7)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? SOLVED
- Time for the answer! The culprit whom released the animals is to be revealed! But, who is he? UNSOLVED
SUSPECTS: Mecha Knuckles (Male, Mecha)- Shade's mentor in this case. Would have gained respect among Poker Gang.
Tikal (Female, in custody)- Arrested for murder of Knuckles. Would have gained Knuckles' death (revenge).
Mephiles (Male, demon)- Demonic being, murdered Eggman, works at Burger King. Would have gained revenge on Knuckles, on chao.
Chaos (Male probably, god of destruction)- Unknown. Owns Chaos Cola bar. Unknown what would have gained.
Punchinello (Male, principal of CPAK)- Full: Punchinello Kawizzyworth. Unknown what would have gained.
So, whodunitz?
Chapter 8: Shade-on Versus the Anonymous Culprit
[cut to the Stardust Eggman, in the attic]
SShade: After re-reading my evidence, it is obvious to me now. The culprit is--
MK: Ap! Quiet. Let your desciples find out tonight.
Chy: Tonight?
Zagu: What happens tonight?
MK: You will find out. For now, here's the full information on the Government Animals Project.
The Government Animals Project (G-A Project) (File #1191212-38115)
G-A stands for "Government-Animals," which fits quite nicely. The government filed this report years ago, around January 9th, 2004, I believe. I don't remember the specifics, but it has something to do with placing animals under mind control. GOVERNMENT mind control. The worst kind, *shudder*. The animals were given some sort of poison, as well. A chemical of some sort, that gave them strange instincts. VERY strange. Not what the government wanted, so they decided to can the project. I'm not sure why it has resurfaced, though... and in one week, they were going to completely eliminate the plans. Make it so this project never existed. Very strange how the plans appear to be intact, and better than ever, huh?
Someone brought this project back to life, all right. Someone on the inside. This person probably works for the CIA, and is very serious about his or her work. This person certainly put a lot of thought into how to release the animals, from the looks of it. Then again, that might not be true. Alls I know is... when this project is finished, your gardens will be, too.
Around the time the G-A Project was brought back, Chaos, the god of destruction, opened up the Chaos Cola bar in Station Square. That night, Doctor Eggman was murdered by Mephiles. Mephiles is suspected as being the person behind the project.
[the chao stare in awe, except the Professor]
Zagu: So... so it was Mephiles all along?
SShade: Nope. It wasn't Mephiles.
Mephiles' Doings (Why it wasn't Mephiles)
Sure, Mephiles killed Eggman. But, that, itself, isn't enough proof. The only reason Mephiles killed him is because he "knew too much." As you should know, Mephiles has been known to not only kill people randomly, but he has held a grudge against Eggman for a while.
Sure, Mephiles planned on killing Knuckles. Only because Knuckles was his boss, and promoted somebody else instead of his pal. That's really the only reason.
That's all that he has done. Not enough proof for him to be called the culprit.
Chy: Ooh! Ooh! It has to have been Mister Punchinello Kawizzyworth!
SShade: Wasn't him, either.
Punchinello's Doings (Why it wasn't Mister Kawizzyworth)
Punchinello Kawizzyworth is a vaguely strange person. However, once you realize something, he's not. He is actually just one of those people, one of those suck-ups, brown-nosers, basically, he found the culprit, and thought he was awesome. So, he decided to stick by him all this time. He's not the kind of person who would do something that bad.
Zagu: What about Mecha?
MK: WHAT?! Ya little runt!
SShade: Just trust me, Zagu. It wasn't Mecha.
Chaosky: Well, you've shot down every one of the suspects.
SShade: Not EVERY one.
MK: Hmm... you chao had better run along, now. It's nearly nighttime.
[cut to the Chao Lobby at night]
[the animals have been completely destroying everything]
Zagu: Professor, what are we doing here?
SShade: Simple. The culprit always returns to the scene of the crime. In this case--
[vvvvvvvrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! (chainsaw)]
Chy: Who's that?
SShade: The same person behind everything.
[in comes the culprit, carrying a chainsaw]
?: You chao are gonna pay! Pay for everything!
[SShade trips him]
?: Oof!
[he drops the chainsaw]
[he looks back with two glowing, green eyes]
?: Of course... more chao.... well, I can still kill you without a chainsaw!
SShade: Really, now?
?: Wait a second... you're Shade. The female Shade. You got Tikal arrested! *chuckle* I guess I oughta thank you for that.
[zoom in on the two green eyes]
?: Too bad that's the only good you've done.
The Duel ("The Big One" conclusion)
[dramatic music and camera angles]
[SShade tells the other two to stand back]
[the culprit instantly attacks her]
[she fights back with some dodges (wait wut)]
[the culprit misses a lot, before melting away]
SShade: Oh, no you don't!
[SShade chases after a puddle as it teleports away (via the Chao Exit thingy)]
[the other two follow]
[cut to a highway (somehow, they got there)]
[SShade chases the puddle into a streetlight, where she trips and screams]
SShade: AAAHHH!!! I broke my leg! I can't move!
[the puddle stops, and forms into a solid shape-- a blue, humanoid figure with two glowing, green eyes]
?: Behold... it's Chaos.... the GOD.... of DESTRUCTION!
[Chaos starts laughing maniacally as he slowly steps towards SShade, on the ground, squirming]
SShade: Stay... stay away!
Chaos: Sorry, Nirvana... but this is one guy who won't stay away!
[suddenly, SShade hops up and punches Chaos in the face]
Chaos: AH! ****!
[Chaos melts in a weird way, so he's half-puddle and half-Chaos]
SShade: Book 'em!
[the police appear out of nowhere and arrest Chaos]
Chaos: Mark my words, Shade.... I will get you for this. I.... WILL!
[cut to the Stardust Eggman, attic; Mecha is there, as are the chao]
MK: So, how'd you figure it out?
SShade: It was quite simple. A strange bar appears out of nowhere, we get kidnapped there, and stuff like that.
Zagu: Was it really that simple?
SShade: Well, the fact that Chaos and Tikal were lovers definitely helped.
All: WHAT?!
MK: Not even I knew that!
SShade: You didn't know? It was pretty obvious from the way Chaos was acting that he lost a loved one.
MK: Amazing. Little girl chao, you are an ace detective.
SShade: I sure am.
?: But, one thing's still not clear.
MYSTERY: Final Hazards
[Metal comes into the room]
MS: Yeah, yeah, I've heard the whole thing, and I could tell that Chaos and Tikal were loverbirds, but still, one question remains.
MK: And that is?
MS: Why?
[SShade stares, eyes wide]
SShade: I... I never really thought of that.
MS: Well, motives are everything, so you'd better think of SOMETHING, FAST.
MK: Good point. The cops won't be able to hold Chaos for too long without an explanation.
SShade: Hmm.... meet me in the Police Station in one hour. I think I've got one.
The final mystery!
JOURNAL (Chapter 8)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? SOLVED (BIG "SOLVED")
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? SOLVED
- Time for the answer! The culprit whom released the animals is to be revealed! But, who is he? SOLVED
- Can't hold him forever! Chaos did it, alright! But, why? UNSOLVED
Facts:
Chaos started Chaos Cola, WHY?
Chaos killed Knuckles, HOW? WHY?
Chaos unleashed the animals, HOW? WHY?
Chaos got Punchinello to be an accomplice, HOW? WHY?
Chaos kidnapped SShade, WHY?
Chaos set them free, WHY?
Chaos went to the gardens with a chainsaw, WHY?
Thursday, May 7, 2009
That's what you get when you doubt my skillz.
Soon.(also, that weird guy is the Tour Guide, and that face is the Nomble)
CONCLUSION to Silver!
Ace Attorney: Silver the Hedgehog
Bowser: Defense. You claim you have an explanation as to what's REALLY going on here?
Silver: Not only that, your honor... but, I'm not wearing any pants!
All: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Silver: Just kidding.
Bowser: Don't ever do that again! PENALTY!
[SFX: explosion, part of the player's health bar goes down]
Shade: Silver, please stop. You've only got a little bit of health left before the judge decides to throw us out.
Silver: Okay, okay! I'm sorry!
Tails: I request that the defense make a fool of themselves NOW, rather than later.
Bowser: Seconded.
Silver: Okay! Okay. Here's how it goes down.
Crub didn't take the photos personally, he used an external camera. He set the camera to take pictures at his command, and first took the first photo. Then, he took the vase from the stand, and accidentally moved the stand. He then took the second picture. Shadow noticed him, and let Bob go. Crub then killed Bob, and threw the vase at Shadow, who attempted to catch it. Third picture. It hit Shadow, knocking him unconscious.
Bowser: An... an EXTERNAL camera?
Silver: Yes.
Bowser: Wait a minute. Don't think I'm fooling for this one! Those don't exist, do they, Mister Prower?
Tails: Uh.... yeah, they do, Your Honor.
Bowser: Argh. You young'uns and your newfangled techno-ology robots...
Silver: Well, witness? Anything to say for yourself?
Crub: ..........................................
Bowser: Witness?
Crub: ..............(voice cracking) **** you, man.
[the screen fades out]
(In the end, Crub confessed. Apparently, he reset himself after the crime, and made up an alibi.
According to the crabbot, he reset himself so it would be very hard for him to crack under pressure.
Yeah, something like that.)
[black screen]
[SFX: Pottery breaks]
Crub: Uh-oh. What was that?
[Crub looks at a house nearby]
[SFX: door open]
Shadow: HEY! What are you doing?!
Bob: Oh, um....
Shadow: Wait, isn't that my...?
Bob: Sorry!
Shadow: You broke my vase! You'll pay for that!
Bob: Wait! Stop!
Crub: *gasp*
[SFX: gunshots]
[SFX: pottery crash]
[SFX: Shadow groans]
[Shadow gets up, holding a gun]
Shadow: Yikes.... this isn't good.
[cut to the courtroom]
Crub: ..And that's how it happened, Your Honor.
Bowser: Interesting. So, you killed him... why, exactly?
Crub: Actually, I was designed to kill Shadow. I decided to get rid of the witness first, but when Shadow was knocked out...
Shade: ...you thought he was dead, and left.
Crub: Yeah! How'd you know?
Shade: I've encountered similar situations in the past.
Crub: So, am I going to jail?
Bowser: Yes.
Crub: For how long?
Bowser: Ten years.
Crub: Aw, crap.
"April 6, 12:00 PM,
District Court
Defendant Lobby no.5"
Shade: Nice job out there, Silver.
Silver: Wha? Me? But, you're the one who helped most.
Shade: Yeah, but you said Crub was still lying. If it wasn't for you, Shadow would be in jail instead of Crub.
Silver: ...thanks, Shade.
Shade: There's just one thing still bothering me, though...
Silver: What's that?
Shade: Crub said he was designed to kill Shadow... but, why? And by whom?
Silver: Hopefully, we won't have to worry about it.
Shade: Yeah. Hopefully. C'mon; let's go to the Chaos Cola bar. I'm thirsty.
Silver: *chuckle* Okay, Shade. Drinks are on me.
[the screen turns black]
(Well, that's the story of my first REAL case. Unfortunately, it's also my last case with Shade.
And also unfortunately, that "designed to kill Shadow" thing would come back to haunt me.)
THE END
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Shade-on #7: "The Big One"
DARK CHAO ADVENTURES BONUS: Professor (She)Shade-on and the Curious Animals
A Bonus Story by DJay32
JOURNAL (Chapter 6)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? UNSOLVED
Gadgets: PLAYER TRACKER (keeps track of players) {Knuckles is in the Dark Garden}
SCAN-O-MOTRON (scans for invisible things) {smoke coming from melon-- slight smoke}
Characters: Shade (Female)- The detective in this case.
Chaosky (Male, Third-Party)- Shade's partner in this case.
Zagu (Male, Third-Party)- Shade's other partner in this case.
Mysterious Stranger (Male, Unknown)- Gave Mort possibly fake file, possibly kidnapped the detectives.
Chapter 7: Shade-on Gets to the Bottom of Things
[cut to the dungeon; SShade has a knife and a "melon"]
Zagu: Professor?
Chy: Seriously, prof. What are you doing?
SShade: No time!
[she cuts the bars off the window, breaks the window open, and tosses the "melon" out]
Zagu: HEY! My food!
SShade: That wasn't a melon.
Chy: Then.... what WAS it?
[BOOM!!!]
Zagu+Chy: .............oh.
[the door opens once more, revealing a silhouette]
[two green, glowing, pupil-less eyes stare at SShade]
[SShade stares back]
[the silhouette closes the door, but UNlocks it]
Zagu: Who was THAT guy?
SShade: Our kidnapper, probably.
Chy: Then, why did he unlock the door?
SShade: He probably thinks we're too smart for him. C'mon, let's get out of here.
[they open the door, and flee from....]
SShade: The Chaos Cola bar?
[they run back to the Chao Lobby, only to find that DRAGONS have joined in the animal invasion]
[Dark is seen running around with a dragon on his head]
Dark: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
SShade: So, our kidnapper took us back to the Chaos Cola bar....
Zagu: And then, he threw us in some kind of basement place, right?
SShade: Yes. .......ARGH, I can't think with all this screaming! Let's go somewhere quiet.
[cut to behind the waterfall in the Neutral Garden]
Chy: Is this place quiet enough?
SShade: Quite. Hmm.... so, our culprit.. the one who released the animals... is the one who kidnapped us.
Chy: What? How are you sure?
SShade: ...in time, Chaosky. In time. I also think I know who did it. But... I want to be sure.
Zagu: What other new developments have you made?
SShade: Let's find out. I believe it's time we looked back at what's happened so far.
- First of all, Eggman and Sonic had their daily mess-up, but Mephiles killed Eggman.
- Then, the Poker Gang had THEIR daily mess-up, where Mecha sent us to solve the case with Silver.
SShade: The case... that's the curious thing. I want to think of that, step-by-step.
Chy: Why? What's up?
SShade: I have the facts messed up.
[Zagu and Chaosky stare at Shade]
Zagu: No way, Professor! You... you figured it out, yourself!
SShade: But, I didn't account for everything. Here, let me explain.
- Silver got assigned to this case, and Mecha offered to help. Why?
- Once Mecha realized how complicated the case was, he came up with the idea to make ME Silver's assistant.
- Now, the actual trial. We have two parties here: Amy and Knuckles, and Tikal and Chaos.
- Tikal loves Knuckles, who loves Amy. Tikal kills Knuckles, gets Amy framed.
- Mephiles wants to talk with Knuckles the night of the murder, but finds Tikal, unconscious. Thinks she's Knuckles, leaves.
- Apparently, the Burger King boss gave Knuckles the promotion instead of Mephiles. That's the framed motive.
- But, in actuality, Tikal came to Knuckles' apartment, and murdered him. Amy was hiding in the bedroom.
SShade: There is really something wrong with that. But, we can't figure it out until we learn more about the two OTHER parties.
Zagu: Two OTHER parties?
SShade: Chaos, and the Burger King boss.
Chy: Why the BK boss?
SShade: You never know. Now, back to thinking about the curious animals...
- We found an Omochao whom Tails threw off of the ARK. He introduced us to the Omochao Association.
- Mister Kawizzyworth tried to prevent us from getting into room 124. Why?
- Mort tells us what the OA does, but we get kidnapped.
- Our kidnapper takes us to Chaos Cola.
SShade: So, we must talk to Chaos, the BK boss, and Mister Kawizzyworth.
Zagu: The question is, who first?
SShade: Well, let's look at it this way: who's closest?
Zagu: ...Mister Kawizzyworth.
[cut to CPAK; the chao walk up to the Principal's Office]
SShade: ..shh! Listen...
[they can hear someone talking on the other side of the door-- Punchinello Kawizzyworth]
Punch: ...I know, I musn't worry. It's just that... she's getting closer to the truth.
?: Relax. She got Tikal arrested, just as planned. Now, there's no possible way for her to save the gardens.
Punch: You know, you are VERY right.
?: Exactly. Now, according to my calculations, she should be just outside this door, ready to ask you some questions.
Punch: Really?
?: Yes.
SShade: ..NOW!
[Zagu and Chaosky kick the door down; inside is Mister Kawizzyworth]
Punch: Hello, Miss. How may I help you?
Chy: Hey, where's--
[Shade hits Chaosky]
Chy: --the bathroom?
Punch: It's just out the door, and to the left.
Chy: Thanks.
[Chaosky leaves the room]
SShade: So, Mister Kawizzyworth... I was hoping to know something.
Punch: But of course!
SShade: Why were you trying to stop us from entering Room 124?
Punch: ...why? "Why?" It's simple, WHY. It's because you can't trust the OA. Mort's a senile old man.
Zagu: He was in his 30s.
Punch: Shut up. Anyway, I must be going now.
[he leaves]
SShade: Uh-huh. So, Mister Kawizzyworth, our own principal, was speaking with someone before we entered.
Zagu: Someone who was against you, right?
SShade: Not just someone. He was talking to the culprit.
Zagu: WHAT?! How... how can you tell?
SShade: In time, Zagu. Right now, we have to talk with the Burger King boss.
[cut to Burger King; Shade steps up to the counter]
SShade: Mephiles.
Mp: Shade.
SShade: I wanted to speak to your boss.
Mp: Uh.... he's not here right now.
SShade: Well, where IS he? I must talk to him.
Mp: He's far away, in Africa, saving children's lives.
SShade: He's been murdered.
Mp: No! No..... yep. He has.
SShade: That's what I thought.
[cut to the chao, walking somewhere]
Zagu: So... so what just happened?
Chy: Yeah, who killed him?
SShade: The same person who killed Mephiles' buddy. The same person who framed Amy, then Mephiles.
Zagu: Tikal?
SShade: I'm afraid that Tikal... did not kill Knuckles.
[Zagu and Chaosky stop walking]
Zagu: What?!
Chy: Whoa, whoa, whoa... this is serious, Professor. You mean to say that you got an innocent person declared guilty?
SShade: Oh, she's far from innocent, Chaosky.
Zagu: Well, care to let us know what the fracktail you're talking about?
SShade: Once more, I say, in time. Just go with the flow, as Queens of the Stone Age say, and everything will reveal itself to you.
Zagu: Alright.... a'ight, Prof!
SShade: And one more thing.
Zagu: Yeah, Prof?
SShade: Stop calling me that.
[they keep walking for a little bit]
SShade: Aha! We have reached our destination! The Stardust Eggman.
[they enter the giant statue, and find the Poker Gang watching TV]
MS: Ayyyy, it's the smarty!
SShade: Mecha Knuckles.
MK: Yep, little one?
SShade: I'm ready.
MK: Heh. Let's see if you are.
[Mecha leads them upstairs]
MS: .......pedophile.
[cut to the top floor of the Stardust Eggman]
MYSTERY: The Big One
MK: So, what have you got?
SShade: After doing a little bit of investigation of my own, I have found that the Omochao Association is being targeted.
MK: By whom?
SShade: The Central Information Agency.
Zagu: WHAT?!
Chy: No way!
MK: And for what purpose is the CIA targeting an indy business?
SShade: They're stealing their thunder. The OA is giving information, which is what the CIA does.
MK: And...?
SShade: The OA is good at it.
MK: Bingo! So, what are they doing TO target them?
SShade: They are giving misleading information, such as the G-A Project, part three.
MK: Heh. The funny thing is, I have the ACTUAL part three. Would you care to see it?
SShade: I can already guess what it says.
MK: But, how do you know the file you read is fake?
SShade: Because of something I read while my assistants were looking for Room 124.
[Shade pulls out a file]
SShade: The case of "Public v. Burger King." The text matches it, except replaces "Burger King" with "G-A Project."
Zagu: Wait. So, the boss of Burger King....
SShade: ...is Knuckles the Echidna, correct.
MK: Very well done. But, what do you deduce the ACTUAL third part reads?
SShade: I don't know it exactly, but it should mention Chaos Cola, and its creator, and how they appeared around the time the animals did.
Chy: Its creator?
SShade: Chaos.
Chy: Ah, of course.
MK: Thus, little one, you truly are ready. Congratulations.
SShade: But, for what am I ready?
MK: For one thing, you're ready for me to tell you ALL about the G-A Project. But, most importantly...
SShade: I'm ready to deduce the culprit?
MK: Indeed. Professor Shade, you are ready to deduce the name of the person who unleashed hell upon the gardens.
The one who sent tigers, penguins, dragons, gorillas, and now unicorns upon the chao.
Now, I ask you....
....whom is the culprit? (suspects in Journal)
JOURNAL (Chapter 7)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? SOLVED
- Time for the answer! The culprit whom released the animals is to be revealed! But, who is he? UNSOLVED
SUSPECTS: Mecha Knuckles (Male, Mecha)- Shade's mentor in this case. Would have gained respect among Poker Gang.
Tikal (Female, in custody)- Arrested for murder of Knuckles. Would have gained Knuckles' death (revenge).
Mephiles (Male, demon)- Demonic being, murdered Eggman, works at Burger King. Would have gained revenge on Knuckles, on chao.
Chaos (Male probably, god of destruction)- Unknown. Owns Chaos Cola bar. Unknown what would have gained.
Punchinello (Male, principal of CPAK)- Full: Punchinello Kawizzyworth. Unknown what would have gained.
So, whodunitz?
A Bonus Story by DJay32
JOURNAL (Chapter 6)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? UNSOLVED
Gadgets: PLAYER TRACKER (keeps track of players) {Knuckles is in the Dark Garden}
SCAN-O-MOTRON (scans for invisible things) {smoke coming from melon-- slight smoke}
Characters: Shade (Female)- The detective in this case.
Chaosky (Male, Third-Party)- Shade's partner in this case.
Zagu (Male, Third-Party)- Shade's other partner in this case.
Mysterious Stranger (Male, Unknown)- Gave Mort possibly fake file, possibly kidnapped the detectives.
Chapter 7: Shade-on Gets to the Bottom of Things
[cut to the dungeon; SShade has a knife and a "melon"]
Zagu: Professor?
Chy: Seriously, prof. What are you doing?
SShade: No time!
[she cuts the bars off the window, breaks the window open, and tosses the "melon" out]
Zagu: HEY! My food!
SShade: That wasn't a melon.
Chy: Then.... what WAS it?
[BOOM!!!]
Zagu+Chy: .............oh.
[the door opens once more, revealing a silhouette]
[two green, glowing, pupil-less eyes stare at SShade]
[SShade stares back]
[the silhouette closes the door, but UNlocks it]
Zagu: Who was THAT guy?
SShade: Our kidnapper, probably.
Chy: Then, why did he unlock the door?
SShade: He probably thinks we're too smart for him. C'mon, let's get out of here.
[they open the door, and flee from....]
SShade: The Chaos Cola bar?
[they run back to the Chao Lobby, only to find that DRAGONS have joined in the animal invasion]
[Dark is seen running around with a dragon on his head]
Dark: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
SShade: So, our kidnapper took us back to the Chaos Cola bar....
Zagu: And then, he threw us in some kind of basement place, right?
SShade: Yes. .......ARGH, I can't think with all this screaming! Let's go somewhere quiet.
[cut to behind the waterfall in the Neutral Garden]
Chy: Is this place quiet enough?
SShade: Quite. Hmm.... so, our culprit.. the one who released the animals... is the one who kidnapped us.
Chy: What? How are you sure?
SShade: ...in time, Chaosky. In time. I also think I know who did it. But... I want to be sure.
Zagu: What other new developments have you made?
SShade: Let's find out. I believe it's time we looked back at what's happened so far.
- First of all, Eggman and Sonic had their daily mess-up, but Mephiles killed Eggman.
- Then, the Poker Gang had THEIR daily mess-up, where Mecha sent us to solve the case with Silver.
SShade: The case... that's the curious thing. I want to think of that, step-by-step.
Chy: Why? What's up?
SShade: I have the facts messed up.
[Zagu and Chaosky stare at Shade]
Zagu: No way, Professor! You... you figured it out, yourself!
SShade: But, I didn't account for everything. Here, let me explain.
- Silver got assigned to this case, and Mecha offered to help. Why?
- Once Mecha realized how complicated the case was, he came up with the idea to make ME Silver's assistant.
- Now, the actual trial. We have two parties here: Amy and Knuckles, and Tikal and Chaos.
- Tikal loves Knuckles, who loves Amy. Tikal kills Knuckles, gets Amy framed.
- Mephiles wants to talk with Knuckles the night of the murder, but finds Tikal, unconscious. Thinks she's Knuckles, leaves.
- Apparently, the Burger King boss gave Knuckles the promotion instead of Mephiles. That's the framed motive.
- But, in actuality, Tikal came to Knuckles' apartment, and murdered him. Amy was hiding in the bedroom.
SShade: There is really something wrong with that. But, we can't figure it out until we learn more about the two OTHER parties.
Zagu: Two OTHER parties?
SShade: Chaos, and the Burger King boss.
Chy: Why the BK boss?
SShade: You never know. Now, back to thinking about the curious animals...
- We found an Omochao whom Tails threw off of the ARK. He introduced us to the Omochao Association.
- Mister Kawizzyworth tried to prevent us from getting into room 124. Why?
- Mort tells us what the OA does, but we get kidnapped.
- Our kidnapper takes us to Chaos Cola.
SShade: So, we must talk to Chaos, the BK boss, and Mister Kawizzyworth.
Zagu: The question is, who first?
SShade: Well, let's look at it this way: who's closest?
Zagu: ...Mister Kawizzyworth.
[cut to CPAK; the chao walk up to the Principal's Office]
SShade: ..shh! Listen...
[they can hear someone talking on the other side of the door-- Punchinello Kawizzyworth]
Punch: ...I know, I musn't worry. It's just that... she's getting closer to the truth.
?: Relax. She got Tikal arrested, just as planned. Now, there's no possible way for her to save the gardens.
Punch: You know, you are VERY right.
?: Exactly. Now, according to my calculations, she should be just outside this door, ready to ask you some questions.
Punch: Really?
?: Yes.
SShade: ..NOW!
[Zagu and Chaosky kick the door down; inside is Mister Kawizzyworth]
Punch: Hello, Miss. How may I help you?
Chy: Hey, where's--
[Shade hits Chaosky]
Chy: --the bathroom?
Punch: It's just out the door, and to the left.
Chy: Thanks.
[Chaosky leaves the room]
SShade: So, Mister Kawizzyworth... I was hoping to know something.
Punch: But of course!
SShade: Why were you trying to stop us from entering Room 124?
Punch: ...why? "Why?" It's simple, WHY. It's because you can't trust the OA. Mort's a senile old man.
Zagu: He was in his 30s.
Punch: Shut up. Anyway, I must be going now.
[he leaves]
SShade: Uh-huh. So, Mister Kawizzyworth, our own principal, was speaking with someone before we entered.
Zagu: Someone who was against you, right?
SShade: Not just someone. He was talking to the culprit.
Zagu: WHAT?! How... how can you tell?
SShade: In time, Zagu. Right now, we have to talk with the Burger King boss.
[cut to Burger King; Shade steps up to the counter]
SShade: Mephiles.
Mp: Shade.
SShade: I wanted to speak to your boss.
Mp: Uh.... he's not here right now.
SShade: Well, where IS he? I must talk to him.
Mp: He's far away, in Africa, saving children's lives.
SShade: He's been murdered.
Mp: No! No..... yep. He has.
SShade: That's what I thought.
[cut to the chao, walking somewhere]
Zagu: So... so what just happened?
Chy: Yeah, who killed him?
SShade: The same person who killed Mephiles' buddy. The same person who framed Amy, then Mephiles.
Zagu: Tikal?
SShade: I'm afraid that Tikal... did not kill Knuckles.
[Zagu and Chaosky stop walking]
Zagu: What?!
Chy: Whoa, whoa, whoa... this is serious, Professor. You mean to say that you got an innocent person declared guilty?
SShade: Oh, she's far from innocent, Chaosky.
Zagu: Well, care to let us know what the fracktail you're talking about?
SShade: Once more, I say, in time. Just go with the flow, as Queens of the Stone Age say, and everything will reveal itself to you.
Zagu: Alright.... a'ight, Prof!
SShade: And one more thing.
Zagu: Yeah, Prof?
SShade: Stop calling me that.
[they keep walking for a little bit]
SShade: Aha! We have reached our destination! The Stardust Eggman.
[they enter the giant statue, and find the Poker Gang watching TV]
MS: Ayyyy, it's the smarty!
SShade: Mecha Knuckles.
MK: Yep, little one?
SShade: I'm ready.
MK: Heh. Let's see if you are.
[Mecha leads them upstairs]
MS: .......pedophile.
[cut to the top floor of the Stardust Eggman]
MYSTERY: The Big One
MK: So, what have you got?
SShade: After doing a little bit of investigation of my own, I have found that the Omochao Association is being targeted.
MK: By whom?
SShade: The Central Information Agency.
Zagu: WHAT?!
Chy: No way!
MK: And for what purpose is the CIA targeting an indy business?
SShade: They're stealing their thunder. The OA is giving information, which is what the CIA does.
MK: And...?
SShade: The OA is good at it.
MK: Bingo! So, what are they doing TO target them?
SShade: They are giving misleading information, such as the G-A Project, part three.
MK: Heh. The funny thing is, I have the ACTUAL part three. Would you care to see it?
SShade: I can already guess what it says.
MK: But, how do you know the file you read is fake?
SShade: Because of something I read while my assistants were looking for Room 124.
[Shade pulls out a file]
SShade: The case of "Public v. Burger King." The text matches it, except replaces "Burger King" with "G-A Project."
Zagu: Wait. So, the boss of Burger King....
SShade: ...is Knuckles the Echidna, correct.
MK: Very well done. But, what do you deduce the ACTUAL third part reads?
SShade: I don't know it exactly, but it should mention Chaos Cola, and its creator, and how they appeared around the time the animals did.
Chy: Its creator?
SShade: Chaos.
Chy: Ah, of course.
MK: Thus, little one, you truly are ready. Congratulations.
SShade: But, for what am I ready?
MK: For one thing, you're ready for me to tell you ALL about the G-A Project. But, most importantly...
SShade: I'm ready to deduce the culprit?
MK: Indeed. Professor Shade, you are ready to deduce the name of the person who unleashed hell upon the gardens.
The one who sent tigers, penguins, dragons, gorillas, and now unicorns upon the chao.
Now, I ask you....
....whom is the culprit? (suspects in Journal)
JOURNAL (Chapter 7)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? SOLVED
- Time for the answer! The culprit whom released the animals is to be revealed! But, who is he? UNSOLVED
SUSPECTS: Mecha Knuckles (Male, Mecha)- Shade's mentor in this case. Would have gained respect among Poker Gang.
Tikal (Female, in custody)- Arrested for murder of Knuckles. Would have gained Knuckles' death (revenge).
Mephiles (Male, demon)- Demonic being, murdered Eggman, works at Burger King. Would have gained revenge on Knuckles, on chao.
Chaos (Male probably, god of destruction)- Unknown. Owns Chaos Cola bar. Unknown what would have gained.
Punchinello (Male, principal of CPAK)- Full: Punchinello Kawizzyworth. Unknown what would have gained.
So, whodunitz?
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
New Trailer!
What am I currently working o--I mean, on what am I currently working? It's an old project. Originally thought up in late 2007, I believe, but it didn't start until '08. Let's see the new trailer!
What happened here?
Where is everyone?
Why do I suddenly know so much?
[cut to Metal Sonic, Mecha Knuckles, and the Tails Doll ducking in a garden]
MS: It looks like this is it...
MK: Boss, I'd just like to say it's been a real pleasure serving under you.
TD: Yeah.... me, too.
MS: Why does it have to end this way?!
What's going on?
So many feature-length eppies... and yet... only the Season Finales exceed four/five chapters. What if... I were to make.... a TRUE feature-length script?
[cut to Mecha Knuckles reading a book in a library]
[the book's cover reads, "My Journal"]
Whose journal is it?
I mean, REALLY huge script. A truly feature-length one. One that would take a couple hours to read. It's possible, isn't it?
[cut to Chao lifting the vent cover off of a vent; inside is pure blackness]
Tail: I'm going in.
[Tail crawls in]
What's in there?
Like Gears n' Roses... except... more of a traditional DCA. With chapters, and featuring ALL the chao, as well as the Poker Gang. But, can I accomplish this?
[cut to the chao looking through a window, at a humanoid robot]
[suddenly, the lights go out, and there's an explosion]
[a completely black gateway appears behind the robot; it walks inside and disappears]
[pause]
Shade: What happened?
[suddenly, the chao are sucked into a large, empty room]
[pause]
Shade: NOW what happened?
[rumble]
[the chao see something slowly moving towards them, and scream]
Who was that robot? What happened? What did the chao see?
Can I really top 144 kilobytes?
And... where ARE the chao?
Will these questions ever be answered?
Of course they will.
Dark Chao Adventures 2009 Edition
"The Secret City"
The biggest single script ever made by DJay32
Even bigger than DCAHall2, "Gears n' Roses."
Coming rather soon. Ish.
[the Nomble flashes on-screen for a second]
So, that's it. Basically, DCA09 is one big script, as I have been planning all this time. You folks basically saw a preview of it (a BIG preview, actually), presented in an episodic format.
No, the REAL deal will be quite the real.... deal. Hope you look forward to it, until I decide to put it on hiatus again, and get back to work on Season 7, or Professor Shade-on, or maybe Silver: Ace Attorney.
What happened here?
Where is everyone?
Why do I suddenly know so much?
[cut to Metal Sonic, Mecha Knuckles, and the Tails Doll ducking in a garden]
MS: It looks like this is it...
MK: Boss, I'd just like to say it's been a real pleasure serving under you.
TD: Yeah.... me, too.
MS: Why does it have to end this way?!
What's going on?
So many feature-length eppies... and yet... only the Season Finales exceed four/five chapters. What if... I were to make.... a TRUE feature-length script?
[cut to Mecha Knuckles reading a book in a library]
[the book's cover reads, "My Journal"]
Whose journal is it?
I mean, REALLY huge script. A truly feature-length one. One that would take a couple hours to read. It's possible, isn't it?
[cut to Chao lifting the vent cover off of a vent; inside is pure blackness]
Tail: I'm going in.
[Tail crawls in]
What's in there?
Like Gears n' Roses... except... more of a traditional DCA. With chapters, and featuring ALL the chao, as well as the Poker Gang. But, can I accomplish this?
[cut to the chao looking through a window, at a humanoid robot]
[suddenly, the lights go out, and there's an explosion]
[a completely black gateway appears behind the robot; it walks inside and disappears]
[pause]
Shade: What happened?
[suddenly, the chao are sucked into a large, empty room]
[pause]
Shade: NOW what happened?
[rumble]
[the chao see something slowly moving towards them, and scream]
Who was that robot? What happened? What did the chao see?
Can I really top 144 kilobytes?
And... where ARE the chao?
Will these questions ever be answered?
Of course they will.
Dark Chao Adventures 2009 Edition
"The Secret City"
The biggest single script ever made by DJay32
Even bigger than DCAHall2, "Gears n' Roses."
Coming rather soon. Ish.
[the Nomble flashes on-screen for a second]
So, that's it. Basically, DCA09 is one big script, as I have been planning all this time. You folks basically saw a preview of it (a BIG preview, actually), presented in an episodic format.
No, the REAL deal will be quite the real.... deal. Hope you look forward to it, until I decide to put it on hiatus again, and get back to work on Season 7, or Professor Shade-on, or maybe Silver: Ace Attorney.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Some News for You. And Your Mother.
I'll cut to the chase-- for two weeks, I will have this room to myself, so I'll probably work more on DCA.
Then, mere days afterwards, I will have moved to another apartment, this time one where I will have my own room, so MOAR DCA SOON MMKAY?
Then, mere days afterwards, I will have moved to another apartment, this time one where I will have my own room, so MOAR DCA SOON MMKAY?
Friday, March 6, 2009
Whoa-ho-ho!
DARK CHAO ADVENTURES
*DCA REMASTERED!!! "Remastered, Adjective. No longer letting Betas run your life. See, Season 7 syndrome."
"Season 7 syndrome, noun. A mental condition in which a person, usually a writer, undergoes a change, commonly referred to as his or her 'Gray/Grey Journey. Symptoms include bringing back Rebel chao, Cyber chao, and other subjects included in Beta times, without having a thing to do with the betas."*
Episode 53: Chao In Space 3 part two: Ten/Twelve
[cut to the Dark Garden]
Red: So, Shade, you ready to kick some butt?
Shade: Not yet. First, let's give a recap.
Red: Okay. So, readers, previously on DCA, Shade somehow got everybody to believe they can do whatever they want.
Shade: That's right. So now, everybody's running around, attacking each other.
Red: That's actually a very good description.
Shade: I agree. ...hey, when WAS the last DCA, anyway?
Red: I dunno. Like, December? 2008?
Shade: Dang. It's been *checks date* over 2 months!
Red: Holy crap. Well, with a new year comes new styles, right, DJay?
DJay: That's right. Welcome to 2009, chao. Also with a new year comes a new style of humor. Well, not NEW, but different.
Shade: What about new ideas?
DJay: Obviously. For instance, just you wait until Episode 56, Shade...
Shade: Sweet. Loving this.
Red: Really? I'm scared.
Shade: That was sarcasm, Red.
Red: Oh.
Shade: Wait a minute; where's Dark?
Dark: ...........................YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
[Dark jumps down from a cliff, Shade steps to the side, and Dark hits the ground with a THUD!]
Dark: Did I miss my cue?
Shade: Just a smidge. C'mon, you two, let's get our gang back together.
Dark: Rubber Goose?
Red: I think he means our CRIMEFIGHTING gang. Our unnamed one.
Dark: We should call it
Chapter 1: The Killer Mockingbirds
Shade: Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine, the Killer Mockingbirds, whatever. Let's kick some butt, or something.
[cut to the Chao Lobby]
[Shade peers up from the stairs, looking through his hands like binoculars]
Red: Well?
Shade: It's quiet....... TOO quiet.
Dark: (loudly) What?
Shade: I SAID, IT'S QUI--.... just shut up.
[Dark and Red snicker; they shake hands]
[cut to Shade's point of view-- he scans the lobby from his position]
[the camera passes a chao emotiball thing, then quickly zooms back to the ball, from which a Hero chao peeks out, then ducks]
Shade: I think I saw something. Dark, go check it out.
Dark: Yes, sir! Where was it?
Shade: Over by the Neutral Garden entrance.
[Dark goes to the entrance, and looks around]
Dark: Area secure, sarge!
[suddenly, Dark is grabbed, and pulled into the garden]
Shade: Dark?
Red: Somebody grabbed him. Want me to scout ahead?
Shade: We'll both go. C'mon.
[they enter the Neutral Garden, only to find all the trees knocked over, and the water really dirty]
[the only chao in there is Speedy]
Shade: Speedy.
Speedy: Heh-heh-hey, there. What brings y'all to our 'humble' abode?
Red: First of all, what's with the accent?
Speedy: May as well have SUMMIN' to define meself with!
Shade: Argh... his grammar annoys me. It's "with which to define myself," nimrod!
Speedy: (normal accent) Just joshing with you. I wouldn't go southern on you 'til I visit Louisiana.
[Speedy kicks a tree stump, which hurts his foot]
Speedy: So, what can I do ya for?
Red: Gay.
Shade: Shut up. Have you seen Dark anywhere?
Speedy: Dark? Hmmm... 'bout yea high *holds hand up to top of head*?
Shade: Yes.
Speedy: Nope. Although.... my memory IS a little bit fuzzy....
[Shade slips Speedy a fiver (slang for five bucks)]
Speedy: Cham took him behind the waterfall. Crazy **** in there.
Shade: I had a FEELING Cham had something to do with this!
[Shade and Red walk towards the waterfall]
Speedy: You're not actually thinking of going AFTER him, are ya?
Red: What's it to YOU, hotshot?
Speedy: What's it to ME? What's it to ME?! Well, hot****, I am the spokesperson for the DoomRaces.
Shade: DoomRaces?
Speedy: What is this, the Cross-Examination of a PARROT?! YES, the DOOMRACES.
Shade: What the crap are the DoomRaces?
Speedy: Deathtraps. Cham, you see, is a big name in the Underground. He runs these... deadly races frequently.
Shade: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. How the heck did you guys establish a freaking UNDERGROUND system that quickly?!
Speedy: Technically, we've had over two months to make 'em.
Shade: ...right. Carry on, wayward son.
Speedy: Oh-ho-hoh, I'd recommend YOU to be trekking wayward, mah boi. Run to the hills, before you get caught up in the underground.
Red: What's so bad about the underground?
Speedy: It's like the mafia. You place yer bets, and ya lose. You pay yer money, or ya die. Sometimes both.
Shade: I don't have to listen to this. C'mon, Red. Let's go get Dark.
[as they walk to the waterfall, Speedy shouts, "I'm telling ya, you're going in too deep! You'll never pull yourselves out!"]
Chapter 2: Escape From the Waterfall
[Shade and Red enter the waterfall, and go to the Chao Race place]
[they find Cham standing at the end of a long hall]
Cham: Hey there, people! Welcome to the great hall of DoomRaces! I hope you brought your cash up front!
Shade: I'm looking for Dark.
Cham: Dark? Of the Dark Garden?
Shade: The very same.
Cham: Let me check my records. *looks at clipboard* Ah, our newest racer! Yes, and how much are you willing to bet?
Red: Bet? Bet on WHAT?
Cham: Bet on Dark WINNING, of course! Is this your first time here at DoomRaces?
Shade: Kind of. Let me guess-- Dark was kidnapped by you SLEAZEbags, and now you're using him to get money.
Cham: Pretty much! So, how much? 2, 3K?
Red: Whoo, he'd better be one good*** racer, or I'm gonna sue!
Cham: He's not the best, that's for sure.
Shade: How's about we make a DEAL, Cham?
Cham: A DEAL? Now you're talking my language! So what'cha, what'cha, what'cha want, what'cha want?
Shade: I want Dark, Beastie Boy. If he beats your best in a race, I get him back.
Cham: I see. And if I win?
Shade: You can keep him, AND Red.
Red: Yeah, BEASTIE BOY! ...................wait, WHAT?!
Cham: Hoohoohoo... I like this. You got yourself a deal, Shade.
Shade: So, who's your fastest runner?
Cham: Speedy.
[Shade's grin turns to a wide-eyed stare]
Shade: I... I thought he was just your spokesperson.
Cham: He advertises himself. So, do you accept the terms...
[the room gets darker, and Cham leans forward with suspicious eyes]
Cham: ....or are you gonna whimp out on me?
Shade: I accept the terms.
Cham: Excellent. Let's watch the race on my plasma screen TV.
Red: Hey, wasn't that originally ours?
Cham: I won it from Shade Junior. That's how good Speedy is.
[they watch the entire two-second race on the TV. Guess who won?]
[cut to Red and Dark in a dark room]
Dark: So, you got captured, too, huh?
Red: No, I'm just visiting.
Dark: Oh. I didn't know people could visit h--
Red: That was sarcasm.
Dark: Ah.
[pause]
Dark: So, when are we gonna leave?
Red: I don't think we ARE gonna leave.
Dark: Oh.
[pause]
Dark: Why not?
Red: Because Cham's the king of the underground.
Dark: Oh.
[pause]
Dark: Couldn't we just kill him?
Red: No.
Dark: Oh.
[pause]
Red: Wait a minute. We COULD just kill him!
Dark: YEAH! ROCK N' ROLL!!!
[Dark and Red break out of their cell]
[cut to Shade, Dark, and Red walking out of the Neutral Garden]
Chapter 3: Don't RUSH to Conclusions, Guys
Dark: Boy, it sure was nice of Cham to surrender that quickly!
Red: Yeah! And I didn't even have to cry!
Shade: It's also a good thing that the Neutral Garden is now under control again.
Red: You said it.
Shade: However, we've still got the rest of the Dark Garden, AND the Hero Garden to take care of.
Red: Aww... this might actually take a while.
Shade: That's why we musn't split up. If we can stick together for this, we can get this done in no time.
Dark: YEAH! Let's show this creep the REAL superpower of TEAMWORK!
[silence]
Shade: ...sure, why not?
[cut to the Hero Garden]
[the whole garden, like the others, is in complete devastation]
[Heroes are running amok EVERYWHERE]
Red: Man, how will we save THIS garden?
Shade: Observe.
[Shade moves to the fountain, turns to face the garden, and takes a deep breath]
Shade: ....HEY! EVERYBODY! ROCK BAND TOURNAMENT!
[everyone looks in his direction, and stops what they are doing]
All: *cheer* ROCK BAND!!!
Hero: Which one?
Shade: Number two.
All: *cheer* ROCK BAND 2!!!
Shade: HOLD IT. Not that easy, guys. And not just ANY tournament!
Tail: Well, then.... what KIND of tournament?
Shade: Actually, I'm sorry, but I misled you. And I used the wrong word. Not "tournament," but.... a DUEL.
Heroes: *gasp*
Shade: A BATTLE..... of the BANDS.
Chapter 3.5: Battle of the Rock Bands
[cut to the Chao Lobby, two TVs have been set up, each with Rock Band 2, and there are two teams of four chao]
Band: Hero Eliminatronz
Lead Guitarist: Shade (Hard)
Bassist: Shadow the chao (Expert)
Drums: Dark (Hard)
Vocals: Red (Hard)
Band: Firebert
Lead Guitarist: Chao (Hard)
Bassist: Tail (Hard)
Drums: Hero (Expert)
Vocals: Knuckle (Expert)
Shade: Pfft... "Firebert?"
Chao: You mean, "pfft, 'Hero Eliminatronz!'"
Shade: Hey, we only started it so Shadow could join. He wouldn't fit in our REAL band.
Knuckle: ENOUGH TALK! Now we duel.
Dark: I say first we play, "A Jagged Gorgeous Winter."
Hero: No way! "Aqualung," all the way!
[the rest agree with Hero]
Shade: Majority rules, Dark.
Song: Aqualung, by Jethro Tull
[heavy guitar, Chao messes up]
Red, Knuckle: Sitting on a park bench
eyeing little girls with bad intent.
Snot running down his nose
greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes.
Hey, Aqualung!
Drying in the cold sun
Watching as the frilly panties run.
Hey Aqualung!
Feeling like a dead duck
spitting out pieces of his broken luck.
Whoa, Aqualung!
[things go quiet, so far Firebert got better, and is in the lead]
Red, Knuckle: Sun streaking cold
an old man wandering lonely.
Taking time
the only way he knows.
Neck hurting bad,
as he bends to pick a dog-end
he goes down to the bog
and warms his feet.
Feeling alone
the army's up the road
salvation à la mode and
a cup of tea.
Aqualung my friend
don't you start away uneasy
you poor old sod, you see, it's only me.
[things go faster, and Firebert is messing up a lot, Darks are in the lead]
Red, Knuckle: Do you still remember
December's foggy freeze
when the ice that
clings onto your beard was
screaming agony.
And you snatch your rattling last breaths
with deep-sea-diver sounds,
and the flowers bloom like
madness in the spring.
Sun streaking cold
an old man wandering lonely.
Taking time
the only way he knows.
Neck hurting bad,
as he bends to pick a dog-end
he goes down to the bog
and warms his feet.
Feeling alone
the army's up the road
salvation à la mode and
a cup of tea.
Aqualung my friend
don't you start away uneasy
you poor old sod, you see, it's only me.
[Guitar Solo, Chao and Shade act in a "Tug of War" fashion, each one playing a riff, then letting the other play one]
[Shade does rather better]
[slower again]
Red, Knuckle: Aqualung my friend
don't you start away uneasy
you poor old sod, you see, it's only me.
[back to original riff]
Red, Knuckle: Sitting on a park bench
eyeing little girls with bad intent.
Snot running down his nose
greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes.
Hey Aqualung!
Drying in the cold sun
Watching as the frilly panties run.
Hey, Aqualung!
Feeling like a dead duck
spitting out pieces of his broken luck.
Hey, Aqualung!
Whoa, Aqualung!
[in the end, the Hero Eliminatronz win]
Shade: Do we have time for another song?
Chao: Only one.
Shade: Only one?
Chao: Only one.
Chapter 4: Are you asking for a CHALLENGE?!
Dark: Let's do double or nothing!
Chao: So, if we win, we win, and if you win, you win by a landslide?
Dark: Yeah!
Red: Guys, we really actually don't have time for another.
???: How about time for a one-on-one guitar duel?
[everyone looks in the direction of the Dark Garden]
[it's Shade Junior!]
SJR: Well?
Shade: Maybe not a one-on-one... what about four-on-four?
SJR: ....a band duel? ....fine.
Shade: Let's say you win. What happens?
SJR: The Dark Garden becomes my empire. If you win, it's yours again.
[everyone gasps]
Red: You're... you're betting on leadership?
SJR: Yeah. You could say I'm tired of being the son of the ruler, and I want a piece of the glory.
Shade: Please. You're still just a kid.
SJR: Yeah, a kid who can play guitar on Expert.
[everyone gasps]
Tail: Only one other chao in the garden can do that!
SJR: And I want to duel him in a band duel.
Shade: .....you're on.
Band: Bad Luck
Lead Guitarist: Shade Junior (Expert)
Shade: Wait. Who else is in your band?
SJR: Oh, nobody special. Just the people who trained me to be a guitar god. Fellas!
[three figures step into the Lobby; as the chao see them, they cower in fear]
SJR: These three put me through harsh training, and this is my ultimate test.
Shade: .....you're on.
Bassist: Mecha Knuckles (Expert)
Drummer: Metal Sonic (Expert)
Vocalist: Tails Doll (Expert)
SJR: One more thing. Let's do Rock Band 1.
Shade: ....the sign of a true duelist. Not too many people choose that game, son.
SJR: I know. But I do.
Shade: Fine. And, since you called the duel, you pick the song.
SJR: ......Green Grass. I hear it's the hardest song on guitar.
[everyone gasps yet again, some chao faint]
Shade: That's... that's crazy! You can't put your bandmates through that!
SJR: Hey, be glad I didn't pick Visions, from number 2.
Shade: Son, have you ever even PLAYED Green Grass?
SJR: No, but I don't need to. I can beat the hardest ones on Rock Band 2.
[Shade stands, realizing something, and then grins]
Shade: All right. You're on.
Band: Rubber Goose
Lead Guitarist: Dark (Expert)
Bassist: Red (Expert)
Drummer: Shade (Expert)
TD: So, who's my duelman?
Shade: The best singer in the whole world.
Vocalist: Cham (Expert)
Cham: You called?
Shade: Yeah. We need you to sing Green Grass.
Cham: Oh, sure. Against them?
Shade: Yeah. My son doesn't know what he's done.
[Cham looks at the other band]
Cham: You're right. They seem like grunge, punk, and metal people.
Shade: Yeah. And we're 100% rock.
Cham: You said it. Let's rock.
Shade: Junior.... we're ready.
SJR: All right.
Chapter 4.9: Don't Try this Song at Home, Kids
Song: Green Grass and High Tides, by The Outlaws
[slow guitar intro, both play it perfectly, except for when things get complicated, where SJR messes up]
[faster guitar intro-- Shade Junior realizes that this song won't be easy]
Cham, TD: In a place you only dream of,
Where your soul is always free,
Silver stages, golden curtains
Filled my head, plain as can be...
As a rainbow grew 'round the sun,
All the stars I've loved who died,
Came from somewhere beyond the scene you see...
These lovely people played just for meeeee......
[killer guitar riff, SJR messes up BADLY]
Cham, TD: Now if I let you see this place,
Where stories all ring true,
Will you let me past your face
To see what's really you?
It's not for me to ask these questions
As though I were a king....
For you have to love, believe, and feel,
Before the burst of tamborines take you therrrrre...
Green grass and high tides forever!
Castles of stone souls and glory!
Lost faces say, "We adore you!"
As kings and queens bow and play for youuuuuuuuuuu.....
[crazy acoustic guitar solo; SJR messes up WAY too much]
[it keeps going, but SJR catches up]
[keeps going even longer]
[even more]
[whoa, this is long]
[then, he messes up, and Dark gets a big lead]
[electric guitar solo!]
[SJR and Dark are almost tied]
Cham, TD: Those who don't believe me,
Find your souls and set them free...
Those who do, believe and love,
As time will be your key...
Time and time again I've thanked them
For the peace of mind...
They helped me find myself
Amongst the music and the rhyme
That enchants you therrrrrrrre...........
Green grass and high tides forever!
Castles of stone souls and glory!
Lost faces say, "We adore you!"
As kings and queens bow and play for youuuuuuu....
[things go fast like they did in the intro, but this time they STAY that way]
Cham, TD: Yeah, they play just for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu(extra long)!
[crazy acoustic guitar solo 2; SJR gets the hang of it this time]
[keeps going]
[keeps going]
[keeps going]
[keeps going]
[and going]
[and going]
[and going]
[eventually, we reach the main event: two "snakes," one after another, in the notes]
[simply put, imagine a guitar controller, if you've ever seen one]
[now, imagine this: Green, Red, Yellow, Red, Green, Red, Yellow, etc]
[and coming at the chao SUPA fast]
[if you want a good video of it, here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhgbhzAh3-8 (Precisely 7:02 is the first "snake" part)]
[SJR fails twice here, but is revived by his bandmates]
[then, things get easy again]
[after even longer, we reach the final main event: a really long series of:]
[orange, blue, yellow, again and again and again, faster than the snake sections]
[yes, it is on the video]
[and SJR fails halfway through this]
[since this is his third fail, he CANNOT be revived, so that's... pretty much that]
[aaaaand... BIG ROCK ENDING!!!!]
[triple note: green, red, blue, I think]
DA WINNA IZ: RUBBER GOOSE!
Chapter 5: So, in Conclusion, Kids...
SJR: How did...? How did I...?!
Dark: It's pretty simple, Junior. You're really good at moshing, mashing, and potatoing, because you're a metalhead.
Shade: But, choosing Green Grass was your biggest mistake.
Dark: Not really. His biggest mistake was taking us on. As Wolf O'Donnel says... you're good. But I'm BETTER!
Shade: In English, you shouldn't fight us. You can't play country songs like we can.
SJR: But..... but.... but I can beat Through the Fire and Flames... 98%!
Dark: Guess what? I can FC it.
[Dark walks away; SJR drops to his knees, and shouts, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"]
[and, let me translate that conversation into non-GuitarHero/RockBand:
Shade Junior is a heavy metal-type person. He can play metal songs really well.
But, he can't play country.
Second of all, Dark is better than him. Dark can FC (Full Combo, or 100% without messing up AT ALL) what he can 98%.
So, he played the wrong song against the wrong chao.
Also, Note: None of this reflects my playings skills, of which I have none. I can't even BEAT Green Grass.]
Me (Narrator): And so, the gardens went back to normal. However, people's characters did not.
[cut to the Poker Gang (Metal Sonic, Mecha Knuckles, Tails Doll, you know the drill) in the Stardust Eggman (statue of Eggman in Stardust Speedway Zone 2), playing poker (as a pun on "Metal Sonic's poker buddies")]
Me: The Poker Gang went back to playing poker, except now they also host Rock Band tournaments (instead of Guitar Hero) every Saturday at 8:00 PM.
[cut to Cham in the Neutral Garden, lying against a tree, looking at the sky....box]
Me: Cham quit the Underground business. Now, he spends days thinking up lyrics to country songs.
[cut to the Heroes being normal]
Me: The Heroes decided to stop being jerks, and pretend this whole Chao In Space never happened. At all.
[cut to the Dark trio (Shade, Dark, Red) holding real instruments]
Me: The Darks decided to get the gang back together. That is, the MUSICAL gang. Rubber Goose.
[pause]
Me: Yeah, I don't remember them ever stopping it, either. Well..... they did. And now it's alive again.
[cut to Shade Junior sitting at the Rock Band setlist menu, "Green Grass and High Tides" is highlighted]
[also, he's sitting in a cooped-up, sad sort of way-- kinda like I have been for the past few weeks]
Me: Shade Junior has shut up since then, and focused on beating Green Grass. He hasn't been seen in public in a while.
[fade to black]
Me: And so it seems that we've come to the end of our episode. Finally, I can rest knowing that DCA is finished. For good.
I mean... not finished. It'll never be finished. Not while..... HE... is still alive.
*DCA REMASTERED!!! "Remastered, Adjective. No longer letting Betas run your life. See, Season 7 syndrome."
"Season 7 syndrome, noun. A mental condition in which a person, usually a writer, undergoes a change, commonly referred to as his or her 'Gray/Grey Journey. Symptoms include bringing back Rebel chao, Cyber chao, and other subjects included in Beta times, without having a thing to do with the betas."*
Episode 53: Chao In Space 3 part two: Ten/Twelve
[cut to the Dark Garden]
Red: So, Shade, you ready to kick some butt?
Shade: Not yet. First, let's give a recap.
Red: Okay. So, readers, previously on DCA, Shade somehow got everybody to believe they can do whatever they want.
Shade: That's right. So now, everybody's running around, attacking each other.
Red: That's actually a very good description.
Shade: I agree. ...hey, when WAS the last DCA, anyway?
Red: I dunno. Like, December? 2008?
Shade: Dang. It's been *checks date* over 2 months!
Red: Holy crap. Well, with a new year comes new styles, right, DJay?
DJay: That's right. Welcome to 2009, chao. Also with a new year comes a new style of humor. Well, not NEW, but different.
Shade: What about new ideas?
DJay: Obviously. For instance, just you wait until Episode 56, Shade...
Shade: Sweet. Loving this.
Red: Really? I'm scared.
Shade: That was sarcasm, Red.
Red: Oh.
Shade: Wait a minute; where's Dark?
Dark: ...........................YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
[Dark jumps down from a cliff, Shade steps to the side, and Dark hits the ground with a THUD!]
Dark: Did I miss my cue?
Shade: Just a smidge. C'mon, you two, let's get our gang back together.
Dark: Rubber Goose?
Red: I think he means our CRIMEFIGHTING gang. Our unnamed one.
Dark: We should call it
Chapter 1: The Killer Mockingbirds
Shade: Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine, the Killer Mockingbirds, whatever. Let's kick some butt, or something.
[cut to the Chao Lobby]
[Shade peers up from the stairs, looking through his hands like binoculars]
Red: Well?
Shade: It's quiet....... TOO quiet.
Dark: (loudly) What?
Shade: I SAID, IT'S QUI--.... just shut up.
[Dark and Red snicker; they shake hands]
[cut to Shade's point of view-- he scans the lobby from his position]
[the camera passes a chao emotiball thing, then quickly zooms back to the ball, from which a Hero chao peeks out, then ducks]
Shade: I think I saw something. Dark, go check it out.
Dark: Yes, sir! Where was it?
Shade: Over by the Neutral Garden entrance.
[Dark goes to the entrance, and looks around]
Dark: Area secure, sarge!
[suddenly, Dark is grabbed, and pulled into the garden]
Shade: Dark?
Red: Somebody grabbed him. Want me to scout ahead?
Shade: We'll both go. C'mon.
[they enter the Neutral Garden, only to find all the trees knocked over, and the water really dirty]
[the only chao in there is Speedy]
Shade: Speedy.
Speedy: Heh-heh-hey, there. What brings y'all to our 'humble' abode?
Red: First of all, what's with the accent?
Speedy: May as well have SUMMIN' to define meself with!
Shade: Argh... his grammar annoys me. It's "with which to define myself," nimrod!
Speedy: (normal accent) Just joshing with you. I wouldn't go southern on you 'til I visit Louisiana.
[Speedy kicks a tree stump, which hurts his foot]
Speedy: So, what can I do ya for?
Red: Gay.
Shade: Shut up. Have you seen Dark anywhere?
Speedy: Dark? Hmmm... 'bout yea high *holds hand up to top of head*?
Shade: Yes.
Speedy: Nope. Although.... my memory IS a little bit fuzzy....
[Shade slips Speedy a fiver (slang for five bucks)]
Speedy: Cham took him behind the waterfall. Crazy **** in there.
Shade: I had a FEELING Cham had something to do with this!
[Shade and Red walk towards the waterfall]
Speedy: You're not actually thinking of going AFTER him, are ya?
Red: What's it to YOU, hotshot?
Speedy: What's it to ME? What's it to ME?! Well, hot****, I am the spokesperson for the DoomRaces.
Shade: DoomRaces?
Speedy: What is this, the Cross-Examination of a PARROT?! YES, the DOOMRACES.
Shade: What the crap are the DoomRaces?
Speedy: Deathtraps. Cham, you see, is a big name in the Underground. He runs these... deadly races frequently.
Shade: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. How the heck did you guys establish a freaking UNDERGROUND system that quickly?!
Speedy: Technically, we've had over two months to make 'em.
Shade: ...right. Carry on, wayward son.
Speedy: Oh-ho-hoh, I'd recommend YOU to be trekking wayward, mah boi. Run to the hills, before you get caught up in the underground.
Red: What's so bad about the underground?
Speedy: It's like the mafia. You place yer bets, and ya lose. You pay yer money, or ya die. Sometimes both.
Shade: I don't have to listen to this. C'mon, Red. Let's go get Dark.
[as they walk to the waterfall, Speedy shouts, "I'm telling ya, you're going in too deep! You'll never pull yourselves out!"]
Chapter 2: Escape From the Waterfall
[Shade and Red enter the waterfall, and go to the Chao Race place]
[they find Cham standing at the end of a long hall]
Cham: Hey there, people! Welcome to the great hall of DoomRaces! I hope you brought your cash up front!
Shade: I'm looking for Dark.
Cham: Dark? Of the Dark Garden?
Shade: The very same.
Cham: Let me check my records. *looks at clipboard* Ah, our newest racer! Yes, and how much are you willing to bet?
Red: Bet? Bet on WHAT?
Cham: Bet on Dark WINNING, of course! Is this your first time here at DoomRaces?
Shade: Kind of. Let me guess-- Dark was kidnapped by you SLEAZEbags, and now you're using him to get money.
Cham: Pretty much! So, how much? 2, 3K?
Red: Whoo, he'd better be one good*** racer, or I'm gonna sue!
Cham: He's not the best, that's for sure.
Shade: How's about we make a DEAL, Cham?
Cham: A DEAL? Now you're talking my language! So what'cha, what'cha, what'cha want, what'cha want?
Shade: I want Dark, Beastie Boy. If he beats your best in a race, I get him back.
Cham: I see. And if I win?
Shade: You can keep him, AND Red.
Red: Yeah, BEASTIE BOY! ...................wait, WHAT?!
Cham: Hoohoohoo... I like this. You got yourself a deal, Shade.
Shade: So, who's your fastest runner?
Cham: Speedy.
[Shade's grin turns to a wide-eyed stare]
Shade: I... I thought he was just your spokesperson.
Cham: He advertises himself. So, do you accept the terms...
[the room gets darker, and Cham leans forward with suspicious eyes]
Cham: ....or are you gonna whimp out on me?
Shade: I accept the terms.
Cham: Excellent. Let's watch the race on my plasma screen TV.
Red: Hey, wasn't that originally ours?
Cham: I won it from Shade Junior. That's how good Speedy is.
[they watch the entire two-second race on the TV. Guess who won?]
[cut to Red and Dark in a dark room]
Dark: So, you got captured, too, huh?
Red: No, I'm just visiting.
Dark: Oh. I didn't know people could visit h--
Red: That was sarcasm.
Dark: Ah.
[pause]
Dark: So, when are we gonna leave?
Red: I don't think we ARE gonna leave.
Dark: Oh.
[pause]
Dark: Why not?
Red: Because Cham's the king of the underground.
Dark: Oh.
[pause]
Dark: Couldn't we just kill him?
Red: No.
Dark: Oh.
[pause]
Red: Wait a minute. We COULD just kill him!
Dark: YEAH! ROCK N' ROLL!!!
[Dark and Red break out of their cell]
[cut to Shade, Dark, and Red walking out of the Neutral Garden]
Chapter 3: Don't RUSH to Conclusions, Guys
Dark: Boy, it sure was nice of Cham to surrender that quickly!
Red: Yeah! And I didn't even have to cry!
Shade: It's also a good thing that the Neutral Garden is now under control again.
Red: You said it.
Shade: However, we've still got the rest of the Dark Garden, AND the Hero Garden to take care of.
Red: Aww... this might actually take a while.
Shade: That's why we musn't split up. If we can stick together for this, we can get this done in no time.
Dark: YEAH! Let's show this creep the REAL superpower of TEAMWORK!
[silence]
Shade: ...sure, why not?
[cut to the Hero Garden]
[the whole garden, like the others, is in complete devastation]
[Heroes are running amok EVERYWHERE]
Red: Man, how will we save THIS garden?
Shade: Observe.
[Shade moves to the fountain, turns to face the garden, and takes a deep breath]
Shade: ....HEY! EVERYBODY! ROCK BAND TOURNAMENT!
[everyone looks in his direction, and stops what they are doing]
All: *cheer* ROCK BAND!!!
Hero: Which one?
Shade: Number two.
All: *cheer* ROCK BAND 2!!!
Shade: HOLD IT. Not that easy, guys. And not just ANY tournament!
Tail: Well, then.... what KIND of tournament?
Shade: Actually, I'm sorry, but I misled you. And I used the wrong word. Not "tournament," but.... a DUEL.
Heroes: *gasp*
Shade: A BATTLE..... of the BANDS.
Chapter 3.5: Battle of the Rock Bands
[cut to the Chao Lobby, two TVs have been set up, each with Rock Band 2, and there are two teams of four chao]
Band: Hero Eliminatronz
Lead Guitarist: Shade (Hard)
Bassist: Shadow the chao (Expert)
Drums: Dark (Hard)
Vocals: Red (Hard)
Band: Firebert
Lead Guitarist: Chao (Hard)
Bassist: Tail (Hard)
Drums: Hero (Expert)
Vocals: Knuckle (Expert)
Shade: Pfft... "Firebert?"
Chao: You mean, "pfft, 'Hero Eliminatronz!'"
Shade: Hey, we only started it so Shadow could join. He wouldn't fit in our REAL band.
Knuckle: ENOUGH TALK! Now we duel.
Dark: I say first we play, "A Jagged Gorgeous Winter."
Hero: No way! "Aqualung," all the way!
[the rest agree with Hero]
Shade: Majority rules, Dark.
Song: Aqualung, by Jethro Tull
[heavy guitar, Chao messes up]
Red, Knuckle: Sitting on a park bench
eyeing little girls with bad intent.
Snot running down his nose
greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes.
Hey, Aqualung!
Drying in the cold sun
Watching as the frilly panties run.
Hey Aqualung!
Feeling like a dead duck
spitting out pieces of his broken luck.
Whoa, Aqualung!
[things go quiet, so far Firebert got better, and is in the lead]
Red, Knuckle: Sun streaking cold
an old man wandering lonely.
Taking time
the only way he knows.
Neck hurting bad,
as he bends to pick a dog-end
he goes down to the bog
and warms his feet.
Feeling alone
the army's up the road
salvation à la mode and
a cup of tea.
Aqualung my friend
don't you start away uneasy
you poor old sod, you see, it's only me.
[things go faster, and Firebert is messing up a lot, Darks are in the lead]
Red, Knuckle: Do you still remember
December's foggy freeze
when the ice that
clings onto your beard was
screaming agony.
And you snatch your rattling last breaths
with deep-sea-diver sounds,
and the flowers bloom like
madness in the spring.
Sun streaking cold
an old man wandering lonely.
Taking time
the only way he knows.
Neck hurting bad,
as he bends to pick a dog-end
he goes down to the bog
and warms his feet.
Feeling alone
the army's up the road
salvation à la mode and
a cup of tea.
Aqualung my friend
don't you start away uneasy
you poor old sod, you see, it's only me.
[Guitar Solo, Chao and Shade act in a "Tug of War" fashion, each one playing a riff, then letting the other play one]
[Shade does rather better]
[slower again]
Red, Knuckle: Aqualung my friend
don't you start away uneasy
you poor old sod, you see, it's only me.
[back to original riff]
Red, Knuckle: Sitting on a park bench
eyeing little girls with bad intent.
Snot running down his nose
greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes.
Hey Aqualung!
Drying in the cold sun
Watching as the frilly panties run.
Hey, Aqualung!
Feeling like a dead duck
spitting out pieces of his broken luck.
Hey, Aqualung!
Whoa, Aqualung!
[in the end, the Hero Eliminatronz win]
Shade: Do we have time for another song?
Chao: Only one.
Shade: Only one?
Chao: Only one.
Chapter 4: Are you asking for a CHALLENGE?!
Dark: Let's do double or nothing!
Chao: So, if we win, we win, and if you win, you win by a landslide?
Dark: Yeah!
Red: Guys, we really actually don't have time for another.
???: How about time for a one-on-one guitar duel?
[everyone looks in the direction of the Dark Garden]
[it's Shade Junior!]
SJR: Well?
Shade: Maybe not a one-on-one... what about four-on-four?
SJR: ....a band duel? ....fine.
Shade: Let's say you win. What happens?
SJR: The Dark Garden becomes my empire. If you win, it's yours again.
[everyone gasps]
Red: You're... you're betting on leadership?
SJR: Yeah. You could say I'm tired of being the son of the ruler, and I want a piece of the glory.
Shade: Please. You're still just a kid.
SJR: Yeah, a kid who can play guitar on Expert.
[everyone gasps]
Tail: Only one other chao in the garden can do that!
SJR: And I want to duel him in a band duel.
Shade: .....you're on.
Band: Bad Luck
Lead Guitarist: Shade Junior (Expert)
Shade: Wait. Who else is in your band?
SJR: Oh, nobody special. Just the people who trained me to be a guitar god. Fellas!
[three figures step into the Lobby; as the chao see them, they cower in fear]
SJR: These three put me through harsh training, and this is my ultimate test.
Shade: .....you're on.
Bassist: Mecha Knuckles (Expert)
Drummer: Metal Sonic (Expert)
Vocalist: Tails Doll (Expert)
SJR: One more thing. Let's do Rock Band 1.
Shade: ....the sign of a true duelist. Not too many people choose that game, son.
SJR: I know. But I do.
Shade: Fine. And, since you called the duel, you pick the song.
SJR: ......Green Grass. I hear it's the hardest song on guitar.
[everyone gasps yet again, some chao faint]
Shade: That's... that's crazy! You can't put your bandmates through that!
SJR: Hey, be glad I didn't pick Visions, from number 2.
Shade: Son, have you ever even PLAYED Green Grass?
SJR: No, but I don't need to. I can beat the hardest ones on Rock Band 2.
[Shade stands, realizing something, and then grins]
Shade: All right. You're on.
Band: Rubber Goose
Lead Guitarist: Dark (Expert)
Bassist: Red (Expert)
Drummer: Shade (Expert)
TD: So, who's my duelman?
Shade: The best singer in the whole world.
Vocalist: Cham (Expert)
Cham: You called?
Shade: Yeah. We need you to sing Green Grass.
Cham: Oh, sure. Against them?
Shade: Yeah. My son doesn't know what he's done.
[Cham looks at the other band]
Cham: You're right. They seem like grunge, punk, and metal people.
Shade: Yeah. And we're 100% rock.
Cham: You said it. Let's rock.
Shade: Junior.... we're ready.
SJR: All right.
Chapter 4.9: Don't Try this Song at Home, Kids
Song: Green Grass and High Tides, by The Outlaws
[slow guitar intro, both play it perfectly, except for when things get complicated, where SJR messes up]
[faster guitar intro-- Shade Junior realizes that this song won't be easy]
Cham, TD: In a place you only dream of,
Where your soul is always free,
Silver stages, golden curtains
Filled my head, plain as can be...
As a rainbow grew 'round the sun,
All the stars I've loved who died,
Came from somewhere beyond the scene you see...
These lovely people played just for meeeee......
[killer guitar riff, SJR messes up BADLY]
Cham, TD: Now if I let you see this place,
Where stories all ring true,
Will you let me past your face
To see what's really you?
It's not for me to ask these questions
As though I were a king....
For you have to love, believe, and feel,
Before the burst of tamborines take you therrrrre...
Green grass and high tides forever!
Castles of stone souls and glory!
Lost faces say, "We adore you!"
As kings and queens bow and play for youuuuuuuuuuu.....
[crazy acoustic guitar solo; SJR messes up WAY too much]
[it keeps going, but SJR catches up]
[keeps going even longer]
[even more]
[whoa, this is long]
[then, he messes up, and Dark gets a big lead]
[electric guitar solo!]
[SJR and Dark are almost tied]
Cham, TD: Those who don't believe me,
Find your souls and set them free...
Those who do, believe and love,
As time will be your key...
Time and time again I've thanked them
For the peace of mind...
They helped me find myself
Amongst the music and the rhyme
That enchants you therrrrrrrre...........
Green grass and high tides forever!
Castles of stone souls and glory!
Lost faces say, "We adore you!"
As kings and queens bow and play for youuuuuuu....
[things go fast like they did in the intro, but this time they STAY that way]
Cham, TD: Yeah, they play just for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu(extra long)!
[crazy acoustic guitar solo 2; SJR gets the hang of it this time]
[keeps going]
[keeps going]
[keeps going]
[keeps going]
[and going]
[and going]
[and going]
[eventually, we reach the main event: two "snakes," one after another, in the notes]
[simply put, imagine a guitar controller, if you've ever seen one]
[now, imagine this: Green, Red, Yellow, Red, Green, Red, Yellow, etc]
[and coming at the chao SUPA fast]
[if you want a good video of it, here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhgbhzAh3-8 (Precisely 7:02 is the first "snake" part)]
[SJR fails twice here, but is revived by his bandmates]
[then, things get easy again]
[after even longer, we reach the final main event: a really long series of:]
[orange, blue, yellow, again and again and again, faster than the snake sections]
[yes, it is on the video]
[and SJR fails halfway through this]
[since this is his third fail, he CANNOT be revived, so that's... pretty much that]
[aaaaand... BIG ROCK ENDING!!!!]
[triple note: green, red, blue, I think]
DA WINNA IZ: RUBBER GOOSE!
Chapter 5: So, in Conclusion, Kids...
SJR: How did...? How did I...?!
Dark: It's pretty simple, Junior. You're really good at moshing, mashing, and potatoing, because you're a metalhead.
Shade: But, choosing Green Grass was your biggest mistake.
Dark: Not really. His biggest mistake was taking us on. As Wolf O'Donnel says... you're good. But I'm BETTER!
Shade: In English, you shouldn't fight us. You can't play country songs like we can.
SJR: But..... but.... but I can beat Through the Fire and Flames... 98%!
Dark: Guess what? I can FC it.
[Dark walks away; SJR drops to his knees, and shouts, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"]
[and, let me translate that conversation into non-GuitarHero/RockBand:
Shade Junior is a heavy metal-type person. He can play metal songs really well.
But, he can't play country.
Second of all, Dark is better than him. Dark can FC (Full Combo, or 100% without messing up AT ALL) what he can 98%.
So, he played the wrong song against the wrong chao.
Also, Note: None of this reflects my playings skills, of which I have none. I can't even BEAT Green Grass.]
Me (Narrator): And so, the gardens went back to normal. However, people's characters did not.
[cut to the Poker Gang (Metal Sonic, Mecha Knuckles, Tails Doll, you know the drill) in the Stardust Eggman (statue of Eggman in Stardust Speedway Zone 2), playing poker (as a pun on "Metal Sonic's poker buddies")]
Me: The Poker Gang went back to playing poker, except now they also host Rock Band tournaments (instead of Guitar Hero) every Saturday at 8:00 PM.
[cut to Cham in the Neutral Garden, lying against a tree, looking at the sky....box]
Me: Cham quit the Underground business. Now, he spends days thinking up lyrics to country songs.
[cut to the Heroes being normal]
Me: The Heroes decided to stop being jerks, and pretend this whole Chao In Space never happened. At all.
[cut to the Dark trio (Shade, Dark, Red) holding real instruments]
Me: The Darks decided to get the gang back together. That is, the MUSICAL gang. Rubber Goose.
[pause]
Me: Yeah, I don't remember them ever stopping it, either. Well..... they did. And now it's alive again.
[cut to Shade Junior sitting at the Rock Band setlist menu, "Green Grass and High Tides" is highlighted]
[also, he's sitting in a cooped-up, sad sort of way-- kinda like I have been for the past few weeks]
Me: Shade Junior has shut up since then, and focused on beating Green Grass. He hasn't been seen in public in a while.
[fade to black]
Me: And so it seems that we've come to the end of our episode. Finally, I can rest knowing that DCA is finished. For good.
I mean... not finished. It'll never be finished. Not while..... HE... is still alive.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
I'm still alive, you know.
This is a message to inform you of my being alive.
Because I am still alive.
No new DCA just yet, but I'm nearly done with it. In fact, I'm gonna try to get it done right now.
So, you might see a new DCA mere minutes after this post.
-DJay32
Because I am still alive.
No new DCA just yet, but I'm nearly done with it. In fact, I'm gonna try to get it done right now.
So, you might see a new DCA mere minutes after this post.
-DJay32
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)