Friday, November 30, 2007

Writers Block...?

OK, we know the TMEWT is taking a long long time, but that's only because DJay is taking a well deserved break. I mean, what other way to relax than to think about life and play video games? That's what I thought. Still, everyone who's waiting patiently or impatiently and trying to hide the temptation to go and help him write the freaking eppy already (like me!!), here's a funny eppy to keep you, I dunno, entertained. The Top 10 Ways To Get Rid Of Dark!

Shade: Dark....
Dark: Yes, Shade?
Director: CUT!
Shade: Dark...
Dark: Chao....
Chao: Adventures!
Dark: Who's "Adventures"?
Chao: ....
Dark Chao Adventures Episode 5: The Top 10 Ways To Get Rid Of Dark
[Invader Zim theme playing, for those of you that have no idea, Dark Garden theme playing]
D.C.A. REMASTERED! [text flowing across screen reading stuff like: Dark, Chao, and DUCK! Where? SMASH!] Dark Chao Adventures..... More Comedy!
More story, more Chapters! MORE CHAO! The addition of Chaos Chao....
AND the All-new Rebel Chao.

Chapter 1: The Stupid Plots of Dark
The story starts in.... EB Games....
Clerk: I told you, "Dark Kills All Hero Chao 2" isn't a real game, you've been fooled by whoever told you about it.
Dark: Whoever told me?
[flashback to Dark Garden]
[Dark standing in front of Chao, who is tied up]
Dark: Now, give me the key!
Chao: You have a better chance going to EB Games and getting "Dark Kills All Hero Chao 2", than getting me to give you the key to the Hero Garden!
Dark: Dark Kills All Hero Chao 2? DKAHC2? I've heard about that game! I think...
[zips off to EB Games]
[end flashback]
Dark: Oh, yeah... well, do you have any Sonic games?
Clerk: Yeah, we've got this old Sonic R game back here... you have a Saturn?
Dark: Why would I need one? Shade owns the whole Solar System!
Clerk: No, I mean a SEGA Saturn.
Dark: No, how much is one?
Clerk: About.... $4.
Dark: Cool! I'll take both!
Clerk: Here ya go... [gives Dark Saturn and Sonic R]
Dark: Thanks! Here's that $5!
[puts money on counter, then zips to Dark Garden]
Later, in the Dark Garden...
Chapter 2: I Knew This Guy Who Knew This Guy Who Knew This Guy's Cousin....
[Shade gets off the island across the lake, and gets to shore, and notices Dark playing on his new Saturn]
Shade: Ooh, nice system! What is it?
Dark: It's a SEGA Saturn!
Shade: Seems a little dusty, what game have ya got with it?
Dark: Sonic R.
[lightning crashes, horses neigh, T.V. switches to Teletubbies]
Dark: Why?
Shade: Sonic R is CUUUUURSED!
Dark: [scoffs] And just HOW cursed IS it?
Shade: Y'see, I knew this guy, who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy, who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy's cousin, who knew his Uncle's wife, who liked Sonic, who liked Shadow, who liked Amy, who liked this armadillo named Mighty. [note: This is where Mighty REALLY went!] Mighty helped Knuckles in Knuckles Chaotix, after that, though, Mighty took a rest and decided to play Sonic R, after unlocking the Tails Doll, he was NEVER SEEN AGAIN...
Dark: Then how is it haunted?
Shade: .... look, I'm not going over this "Knew this guy" stuff again...
Dark: Whatever! I'm not letting a stuffed "inlaminutyd"[inatimate] object send me over to Timbuktu in a box of deep fried ****roaches! Just stop this "no sense"[nonsense] stuff, Shade! I can "hand rail"[handle] this!
Shade: You can't even handle big words.
Dark: "Handle"?
Shade: (sighs) Bye, bye, Dark. I won't be seeing YOU again...
Chapter 3: Hey Kids, Get Off My Lawn!
[later, Dark is playing Sonic R in Radical City. He has all 5 Sonic Tokens and is about to hit finish line in 4th place.]
Dark: Alright, I'm almost there! Whoohoo! I made it! And nothing happened!
Shade: That's because you're meant to finish in 3rd place or higher.
Dark: Whoops. Okay, hang on...
[2 minutes later...]
Shade: Look at the screen, Dark.
Dark: Huh? "Prepare to Challenge"? OH MY GOODNESS, WHAT IS THAT THING I'M RACING!?
Shade: It's called the "Tails Doll".
Dark: But, it looks nothing like him! Mr. Prower has a bow tie!
Shade: (sighs) Just race, will ya?
Dark: Oh, okay.
[2 seconds later...]
Dark: Wow, it's easy to beat the TD!
Shade: Well, I, uh, gotta go..... do.... some.... things.... OVER THERE! [runs away]
Dark: What's his problem?
[phone rings]
Dark: Better check the Caller I.D, hmm... "Dark Garden"? Must be some new pizza place! Hello?
Voice: [deep breathing]
Dark: Yeah?
Voice: (whispering, eerily) Tails Doll....
Dark: (nervously) S-sorry, w-wrong number...
[Dark hangs up]
Dark: Wow, who was that?
Shade: Hey, Dark! Who was on the phone?
Dark: Oh, it was one of those prank... calls... yeah. They always call me.
Shade: Must've been the Heroes.
[phone rings]
Dark: Hello?
Shade: Who is it?
Voice on line: (whispering, eerily) Tails Doll.....
Shade: So, who is it?
Dark: (nervously) Oh, it's those Heroes again.... YOU KIDS STAY OFF MY LAWN! Yeah, that's it.
[Dark hangs up]
Shade: Well, I gotta go, see ya!
[Shade leaves]
Chapter 4: The Tails Doll Always Gets Its Victims
Dark: Maybe I shouldn't of bought Sonic R.
[lightning crashes, horses neigh, T.V. switches to Teletubbies]
Chao watching TV: HEY!
[switches channel back to cartoons]
Dark: I mean, that game is cursed! That's it! I'm going to go out to EB Games, step up to the counter, place Sonic R--
[lightning crashes, horses neigh, T.V. switches to Teletubbies]
Chao watching TV: STOP THAT!
[switches channel back to cartoons]
Dark: -- on the counter, and say,"Take your Saturn, and your Sonic R--
[lightning crashes, horses neigh, T.V. switches to Teletubbies]
Chao watching TV: IF YOU DO THAT ONE MORE TIME....
[switches channel back to cartoons]
Dark: -- And shove it up your BIG, FAT, BUTT!" Yeah, that's what I'll do!
[Dark does all that stuff]
Clerk: Sorry, but my butt isn't big.
Dark: Well, can't you just trade this in for a better game?
Clerk: All we have for one dollar are that, and--
[camera switches immediately to Dark Garden, later]
Dark: I traded Sonic R--
[Dark looks around]
Dark: -- for Teletubbies: The Quest For Friendship!
[lightning crashes, horses neigh, T.V. switches to Teletubbies]
Chao watching TV: THAT'S IT!
[CWTV walks up to Dark, and slams Dark's head into the TV]
Shade: Hehe... the Tails Doll will kill you, oh man. You should've seen the look on your face, Dark! There is no Curse of the Tails Doll, Dark!
Dark: Next time tell me that before I trade it in for a baby game and get my head slammed into a TV.
Shade: Oh, man, that part still cracks me up!
Dark: But, what about those phone calls?
Shade: That was that new red dark chao over there,"Devilish"! He's excellent at scaring others!
Dark: [smashes the Teletubbies game into Shade's face, then walks away]
Shade: Some chao have no sense of humour!
Shade Jr.: ..........(Oh, great, I was scared so much that I went "oopsie" again! Someone change me!)...............

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