Saturday, May 22, 2010

Happy Quinquennial, DCA! :D

Dark Chao Adventures
Adventuring since 2005.

Episode Sixty-Five: Chao Back in Space

Chapter 1: In the Presence of Enemies, Part 1
[cut to an endless void]
[Levity Nite is speaking with someone]
Nite: ..mhmm. Okay. Got it. Yep. Yep. Cool. Can do.
[Levity then teleports all the chao to the void]
Shade: Wait, what?
Shadow: What the?
Red: What's happening?
Dark: Who are you people, and where is my horse?
Nite: It would seem that.. it would be very much wise to give you kids the day off.
Shadow: ...wait, WHAT?
Nite: Yes. You see, it has come to our attention that Dark Chao Adventures was first written five years ago.
Shade: ****, has it been that long already?
Nite: Very much so. In commemoration, we wanted to let you take................. a break.
Red: But--
[the chao are then teleported into the Chao Lobby]
Chapter 2: Jump in the Fire
[the chao sit in silence for a little bit]
Dark: The crap just happened?
Shade: I think.. we just got cut some slack.
Red: But.. but that's impossible! We.. we COULDN'T have been! There must be some kind of catch!
[Echo appears]
Echo: We knew you'd be understandably suspicious. Your chaos drive is in the Dark Garden.
Dark: Buh forreal d'oh
Echo: I AM being for real, Dark. Grab it when you are done with your break. Enjoy.
[Echo leaves]
Red: ****! I KNEW there was a catch!
Shade: Red! Red. Calm down. He said the DARK Garden.
Red: Yes! I know!
Dark: Freaking Veteran's Committee, man.
Red: Totally...
Shadow: Guys, what the heck is your problem?
Red: We.. never DID tell you what happened while you were gone on your two-year espionage mission, did we?
Shadow: Oh yeah, Chao took over the garden. I completely forgot.
Shade: This'll be easy. We can take him, no sweat.
Dark: But you don't understand!
[Shade and Shadow waltz on in to the Dark Garden]
Chapter 3: Dazed and Confused
[the ground is still grey]
[the walls are still old]
[the tombstones and creepy trees are still there]
[the water is still red]
[the Garden is still Dark]
Shade: Dude... the Garden, it's... YOU!
Dark: When you put it that way, it sounds cool.
Chao: Shade? Shadow? What are you guys doing here?
Shade: Chao, you crazy son of a-- where the heck ARE you?
Chao: I'm standing right here, in front of you.
Shade: Where? Behind this Dark chao? ..speaking of, who IS this guy?
Chao: .......
Shade: .......
Chao: .......
Shadow: Well... THAT'S a plot twist if I've ever seen one.
[Chao is now a normal Dark chao, but not just ANY normal Dark chao...]
Shade: Chao. I am going to freaking.. PUNCH you. In the.. in the... badass horns.
Shadow: Chao.. how the heck did you manage to become a Chaos chao?
Chao: Simple. I know how to take care of myself.
Shade: Like HELL, you do. We've been out there, saving LIVES.. not including our own.
Shade: We've infiltrated more buildings than you've even seen in your freaking LIFE!
Chao: Yes, but Uncle Shadow has been gathering the finest animals and chaos drives for me.
Shade: So you've been pampered to royalty.
Chao: Someone's jealous.
Shade: In both senses of the word.
Chao: Shade, I'm fit by NATURE to be the leader of the Dark Garden now.
Shade: Yeah, well, I'm fit by ANCESTRY to be the leader of the Dark Garden now.
Chao: Prove it.
[the screen fades to old pictures of Dark chao as Shade voices over things]
Shade (VO): The Dark Garden was founded long ago by MY ancestors. The original Fountaneers. The folks like Echo and...
the.. other guy, who is my ancestor. Then there was Shawn. You remember him. The MILKMAN. My father. He was the lord of the
Dark Garden before me, then when he got too old, he passed the dynasty down to me.
?: Shade.
Chapter 4: In the Presence of Enemies, Part 2
[back in the Dark Garden, Echo is standing at the door]
Echo: It would seem your break is not going as planned.
Shade: Hell, no. Could you get this loser out of the Garden, please?
Echo: No can do, former lord of the Dark Garden.
Shade: I'm STILL the lord.
Echo: You haven't been for the last two years.
Shade: What do you want? You guys only show up when something REALLY important is happening.
Nite: Something really important IS happening.
[Levity Nite steps into the Garden]
Shade: Levity...
Nite: In our efforts to stop this script, we came across a wholly unexpected new development.
Echo: In fact, the development has various symptoms.. including the reason why we had to pull you out of Euphoria so fast.
Shadow: DCA's fifth anniversary?
Shade: Are you trying to say that TIME is the development?
Nite: No, we pulled you out of there because a fugitive is loose in that city.
Echo: This fugitive has the ability to bend the script at will. We had to get you out of there before...
Shade: Before what?
Echo: Before.... you became the catalyst for further destruction.
Nite: If the fugitive is able to speak with you, he would be able to bend the script to get to us.
Echo: Or worse!
Nite: There's no telling what he would do, actually.
Echo: We simply HAD to evacuate you as quickly as possible.
Shadow: But.. what about the chaos drive that was deep down there?
Egg: My boy, do you not know WHAT a chaos drive IS?
[in walks Doctor Eggman]
Egg: Neither do we, honestly, but I am trying to say there are more than seven of them in existence. Far more.
Shadow: Eggman! Are you..?
Egg: Harharhar, yes. You see, one of the Veteran's Committee members has... passed away, so they needed another member.
Shadow: Well... congratulations.
Egg: Thank you.
Chao: Uh.. hey, guys? Could we wrap this up soon?
Egg: Oh, yes, of course. This new development will be coming up surprisingly shortly.
Shadow: HOW surprisingly?
Echo: Couple of serials.
Red: Well, that's not too bad.
Nite: The symptoms of the development will become increasingly evident as you continue through your adventures.
Echo: Eventually, the symptoms will be so big that you won't know what's meant to happen and what's not.
Shadow: So.. you guys are losing control?
Egg: I'm afraid so. There's no telling where this development will go, but we can only fear the worst.
Shade: Do you know exactly what we're dealing with, here?
Nite: We don't have a 100%-positive ID yet, but we've got a logical theory.
Shade: Okay, now why did you send us HERE, why did you just now come here to tell us this, and... yeah!
Nite: We learned that a chaos drive was held here, in the Dark Garden.
Echo: We just now came to tell you of this because... well...
Egg: Which one of us is going to tell him?
Nite: How about all of us at once?
Egg: Sounds good, yeah.
Echo: Let's do it. Three, two, one...
All: Shawn's dying.
Shade: WAT
Egg: I'm so sorry to have to tell you this.
Shade: WAT
Echo: We've been keeping a close eye on him, but.. he's bound to go any day now.
Shade: WAT
Nite: He is dying from a symptom of the developments mentioned earlier.
Shade: WAT
Egg: We realize this must be hard for you.
[Shade holds back some tears]
Shade: I've.. I've got to help him. I've got to find some way to.. cure him, or avenge him, or.. HELP.
Nite: Then you'd better come with us.

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