DARK CHAO ADVENTURES BONUS: Professor (She)Shade-on and the Curious Animals
A Bonus Story by DJay32
JOURNAL (Chapter 6)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? UNSOLVED
Gadgets: PLAYER TRACKER (keeps track of players) {Knuckles is in the Dark Garden}
SCAN-O-MOTRON (scans for invisible things) {smoke coming from melon-- slight smoke}
Characters: Shade (Female)- The detective in this case.
Chaosky (Male, Third-Party)- Shade's partner in this case.
Zagu (Male, Third-Party)- Shade's other partner in this case.
Mysterious Stranger (Male, Unknown)- Gave Mort possibly fake file, possibly kidnapped the detectives.
Chapter 7: Shade-on Gets to the Bottom of Things
[cut to the dungeon; SShade has a knife and a "melon"]
Zagu: Professor?
Chy: Seriously, prof. What are you doing?
SShade: No time!
[she cuts the bars off the window, breaks the window open, and tosses the "melon" out]
Zagu: HEY! My food!
SShade: That wasn't a melon.
Chy: Then.... what WAS it?
[BOOM!!!]
Zagu+Chy: .............oh.
[the door opens once more, revealing a silhouette]
[two green, glowing, pupil-less eyes stare at SShade]
[SShade stares back]
[the silhouette closes the door, but UNlocks it]
Zagu: Who was THAT guy?
SShade: Our kidnapper, probably.
Chy: Then, why did he unlock the door?
SShade: He probably thinks we're too smart for him. C'mon, let's get out of here.
[they open the door, and flee from....]
SShade: The Chaos Cola bar?
[they run back to the Chao Lobby, only to find that DRAGONS have joined in the animal invasion]
[Dark is seen running around with a dragon on his head]
Dark: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
SShade: So, our kidnapper took us back to the Chaos Cola bar....
Zagu: And then, he threw us in some kind of basement place, right?
SShade: Yes. .......ARGH, I can't think with all this screaming! Let's go somewhere quiet.
[cut to behind the waterfall in the Neutral Garden]
Chy: Is this place quiet enough?
SShade: Quite. Hmm.... so, our culprit.. the one who released the animals... is the one who kidnapped us.
Chy: What? How are you sure?
SShade: ...in time, Chaosky. In time. I also think I know who did it. But... I want to be sure.
Zagu: What other new developments have you made?
SShade: Let's find out. I believe it's time we looked back at what's happened so far.
- First of all, Eggman and Sonic had their daily mess-up, but Mephiles killed Eggman.
- Then, the Poker Gang had THEIR daily mess-up, where Mecha sent us to solve the case with Silver.
SShade: The case... that's the curious thing. I want to think of that, step-by-step.
Chy: Why? What's up?
SShade: I have the facts messed up.
[Zagu and Chaosky stare at Shade]
Zagu: No way, Professor! You... you figured it out, yourself!
SShade: But, I didn't account for everything. Here, let me explain.
- Silver got assigned to this case, and Mecha offered to help. Why?
- Once Mecha realized how complicated the case was, he came up with the idea to make ME Silver's assistant.
- Now, the actual trial. We have two parties here: Amy and Knuckles, and Tikal and Chaos.
- Tikal loves Knuckles, who loves Amy. Tikal kills Knuckles, gets Amy framed.
- Mephiles wants to talk with Knuckles the night of the murder, but finds Tikal, unconscious. Thinks she's Knuckles, leaves.
- Apparently, the Burger King boss gave Knuckles the promotion instead of Mephiles. That's the framed motive.
- But, in actuality, Tikal came to Knuckles' apartment, and murdered him. Amy was hiding in the bedroom.
SShade: There is really something wrong with that. But, we can't figure it out until we learn more about the two OTHER parties.
Zagu: Two OTHER parties?
SShade: Chaos, and the Burger King boss.
Chy: Why the BK boss?
SShade: You never know. Now, back to thinking about the curious animals...
- We found an Omochao whom Tails threw off of the ARK. He introduced us to the Omochao Association.
- Mister Kawizzyworth tried to prevent us from getting into room 124. Why?
- Mort tells us what the OA does, but we get kidnapped.
- Our kidnapper takes us to Chaos Cola.
SShade: So, we must talk to Chaos, the BK boss, and Mister Kawizzyworth.
Zagu: The question is, who first?
SShade: Well, let's look at it this way: who's closest?
Zagu: ...Mister Kawizzyworth.
[cut to CPAK; the chao walk up to the Principal's Office]
SShade: ..shh! Listen...
[they can hear someone talking on the other side of the door-- Punchinello Kawizzyworth]
Punch: ...I know, I musn't worry. It's just that... she's getting closer to the truth.
?: Relax. She got Tikal arrested, just as planned. Now, there's no possible way for her to save the gardens.
Punch: You know, you are VERY right.
?: Exactly. Now, according to my calculations, she should be just outside this door, ready to ask you some questions.
Punch: Really?
?: Yes.
SShade: ..NOW!
[Zagu and Chaosky kick the door down; inside is Mister Kawizzyworth]
Punch: Hello, Miss. How may I help you?
Chy: Hey, where's--
[Shade hits Chaosky]
Chy: --the bathroom?
Punch: It's just out the door, and to the left.
Chy: Thanks.
[Chaosky leaves the room]
SShade: So, Mister Kawizzyworth... I was hoping to know something.
Punch: But of course!
SShade: Why were you trying to stop us from entering Room 124?
Punch: ...why? "Why?" It's simple, WHY. It's because you can't trust the OA. Mort's a senile old man.
Zagu: He was in his 30s.
Punch: Shut up. Anyway, I must be going now.
[he leaves]
SShade: Uh-huh. So, Mister Kawizzyworth, our own principal, was speaking with someone before we entered.
Zagu: Someone who was against you, right?
SShade: Not just someone. He was talking to the culprit.
Zagu: WHAT?! How... how can you tell?
SShade: In time, Zagu. Right now, we have to talk with the Burger King boss.
[cut to Burger King; Shade steps up to the counter]
SShade: Mephiles.
Mp: Shade.
SShade: I wanted to speak to your boss.
Mp: Uh.... he's not here right now.
SShade: Well, where IS he? I must talk to him.
Mp: He's far away, in Africa, saving children's lives.
SShade: He's been murdered.
Mp: No! No..... yep. He has.
SShade: That's what I thought.
[cut to the chao, walking somewhere]
Zagu: So... so what just happened?
Chy: Yeah, who killed him?
SShade: The same person who killed Mephiles' buddy. The same person who framed Amy, then Mephiles.
Zagu: Tikal?
SShade: I'm afraid that Tikal... did not kill Knuckles.
[Zagu and Chaosky stop walking]
Zagu: What?!
Chy: Whoa, whoa, whoa... this is serious, Professor. You mean to say that you got an innocent person declared guilty?
SShade: Oh, she's far from innocent, Chaosky.
Zagu: Well, care to let us know what the fracktail you're talking about?
SShade: Once more, I say, in time. Just go with the flow, as Queens of the Stone Age say, and everything will reveal itself to you.
Zagu: Alright.... a'ight, Prof!
SShade: And one more thing.
Zagu: Yeah, Prof?
SShade: Stop calling me that.
[they keep walking for a little bit]
SShade: Aha! We have reached our destination! The Stardust Eggman.
[they enter the giant statue, and find the Poker Gang watching TV]
MS: Ayyyy, it's the smarty!
SShade: Mecha Knuckles.
MK: Yep, little one?
SShade: I'm ready.
MK: Heh. Let's see if you are.
[Mecha leads them upstairs]
MS: .......pedophile.
[cut to the top floor of the Stardust Eggman]
MYSTERY: The Big One
MK: So, what have you got?
SShade: After doing a little bit of investigation of my own, I have found that the Omochao Association is being targeted.
MK: By whom?
SShade: The Central Information Agency.
Zagu: WHAT?!
Chy: No way!
MK: And for what purpose is the CIA targeting an indy business?
SShade: They're stealing their thunder. The OA is giving information, which is what the CIA does.
MK: And...?
SShade: The OA is good at it.
MK: Bingo! So, what are they doing TO target them?
SShade: They are giving misleading information, such as the G-A Project, part three.
MK: Heh. The funny thing is, I have the ACTUAL part three. Would you care to see it?
SShade: I can already guess what it says.
MK: But, how do you know the file you read is fake?
SShade: Because of something I read while my assistants were looking for Room 124.
[Shade pulls out a file]
SShade: The case of "Public v. Burger King." The text matches it, except replaces "Burger King" with "G-A Project."
Zagu: Wait. So, the boss of Burger King....
SShade: ...is Knuckles the Echidna, correct.
MK: Very well done. But, what do you deduce the ACTUAL third part reads?
SShade: I don't know it exactly, but it should mention Chaos Cola, and its creator, and how they appeared around the time the animals did.
Chy: Its creator?
SShade: Chaos.
Chy: Ah, of course.
MK: Thus, little one, you truly are ready. Congratulations.
SShade: But, for what am I ready?
MK: For one thing, you're ready for me to tell you ALL about the G-A Project. But, most importantly...
SShade: I'm ready to deduce the culprit?
MK: Indeed. Professor Shade, you are ready to deduce the name of the person who unleashed hell upon the gardens.
The one who sent tigers, penguins, dragons, gorillas, and now unicorns upon the chao.
Now, I ask you....
....whom is the culprit? (suspects in Journal)
JOURNAL (Chapter 7)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? SOLVED
- Time for the answer! The culprit whom released the animals is to be revealed! But, who is he? UNSOLVED
SUSPECTS: Mecha Knuckles (Male, Mecha)- Shade's mentor in this case. Would have gained respect among Poker Gang.
Tikal (Female, in custody)- Arrested for murder of Knuckles. Would have gained Knuckles' death (revenge).
Mephiles (Male, demon)- Demonic being, murdered Eggman, works at Burger King. Would have gained revenge on Knuckles, on chao.
Chaos (Male probably, god of destruction)- Unknown. Owns Chaos Cola bar. Unknown what would have gained.
Punchinello (Male, principal of CPAK)- Full: Punchinello Kawizzyworth. Unknown what would have gained.
So, whodunitz?
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
New Trailer!
What am I currently working o--I mean, on what am I currently working? It's an old project. Originally thought up in late 2007, I believe, but it didn't start until '08. Let's see the new trailer!
What happened here?
Where is everyone?
Why do I suddenly know so much?
[cut to Metal Sonic, Mecha Knuckles, and the Tails Doll ducking in a garden]
MS: It looks like this is it...
MK: Boss, I'd just like to say it's been a real pleasure serving under you.
TD: Yeah.... me, too.
MS: Why does it have to end this way?!
What's going on?
So many feature-length eppies... and yet... only the Season Finales exceed four/five chapters. What if... I were to make.... a TRUE feature-length script?
[cut to Mecha Knuckles reading a book in a library]
[the book's cover reads, "My Journal"]
Whose journal is it?
I mean, REALLY huge script. A truly feature-length one. One that would take a couple hours to read. It's possible, isn't it?
[cut to Chao lifting the vent cover off of a vent; inside is pure blackness]
Tail: I'm going in.
[Tail crawls in]
What's in there?
Like Gears n' Roses... except... more of a traditional DCA. With chapters, and featuring ALL the chao, as well as the Poker Gang. But, can I accomplish this?
[cut to the chao looking through a window, at a humanoid robot]
[suddenly, the lights go out, and there's an explosion]
[a completely black gateway appears behind the robot; it walks inside and disappears]
[pause]
Shade: What happened?
[suddenly, the chao are sucked into a large, empty room]
[pause]
Shade: NOW what happened?
[rumble]
[the chao see something slowly moving towards them, and scream]
Who was that robot? What happened? What did the chao see?
Can I really top 144 kilobytes?
And... where ARE the chao?
Will these questions ever be answered?
Of course they will.
Dark Chao Adventures 2009 Edition
"The Secret City"
The biggest single script ever made by DJay32
Even bigger than DCAHall2, "Gears n' Roses."
Coming rather soon. Ish.
[the Nomble flashes on-screen for a second]
So, that's it. Basically, DCA09 is one big script, as I have been planning all this time. You folks basically saw a preview of it (a BIG preview, actually), presented in an episodic format.
No, the REAL deal will be quite the real.... deal. Hope you look forward to it, until I decide to put it on hiatus again, and get back to work on Season 7, or Professor Shade-on, or maybe Silver: Ace Attorney.
What happened here?
Where is everyone?
Why do I suddenly know so much?
[cut to Metal Sonic, Mecha Knuckles, and the Tails Doll ducking in a garden]
MS: It looks like this is it...
MK: Boss, I'd just like to say it's been a real pleasure serving under you.
TD: Yeah.... me, too.
MS: Why does it have to end this way?!
What's going on?
So many feature-length eppies... and yet... only the Season Finales exceed four/five chapters. What if... I were to make.... a TRUE feature-length script?
[cut to Mecha Knuckles reading a book in a library]
[the book's cover reads, "My Journal"]
Whose journal is it?
I mean, REALLY huge script. A truly feature-length one. One that would take a couple hours to read. It's possible, isn't it?
[cut to Chao lifting the vent cover off of a vent; inside is pure blackness]
Tail: I'm going in.
[Tail crawls in]
What's in there?
Like Gears n' Roses... except... more of a traditional DCA. With chapters, and featuring ALL the chao, as well as the Poker Gang. But, can I accomplish this?
[cut to the chao looking through a window, at a humanoid robot]
[suddenly, the lights go out, and there's an explosion]
[a completely black gateway appears behind the robot; it walks inside and disappears]
[pause]
Shade: What happened?
[suddenly, the chao are sucked into a large, empty room]
[pause]
Shade: NOW what happened?
[rumble]
[the chao see something slowly moving towards them, and scream]
Who was that robot? What happened? What did the chao see?
Can I really top 144 kilobytes?
And... where ARE the chao?
Will these questions ever be answered?
Of course they will.
Dark Chao Adventures 2009 Edition
"The Secret City"
The biggest single script ever made by DJay32
Even bigger than DCAHall2, "Gears n' Roses."
Coming rather soon. Ish.
[the Nomble flashes on-screen for a second]
So, that's it. Basically, DCA09 is one big script, as I have been planning all this time. You folks basically saw a preview of it (a BIG preview, actually), presented in an episodic format.
No, the REAL deal will be quite the real.... deal. Hope you look forward to it, until I decide to put it on hiatus again, and get back to work on Season 7, or Professor Shade-on, or maybe Silver: Ace Attorney.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Some News for You. And Your Mother.
I'll cut to the chase-- for two weeks, I will have this room to myself, so I'll probably work more on DCA.
Then, mere days afterwards, I will have moved to another apartment, this time one where I will have my own room, so MOAR DCA SOON MMKAY?
Then, mere days afterwards, I will have moved to another apartment, this time one where I will have my own room, so MOAR DCA SOON MMKAY?
Friday, March 6, 2009
Whoa-ho-ho!
DARK CHAO ADVENTURES
*DCA REMASTERED!!! "Remastered, Adjective. No longer letting Betas run your life. See, Season 7 syndrome."
"Season 7 syndrome, noun. A mental condition in which a person, usually a writer, undergoes a change, commonly referred to as his or her 'Gray/Grey Journey. Symptoms include bringing back Rebel chao, Cyber chao, and other subjects included in Beta times, without having a thing to do with the betas."*
Episode 53: Chao In Space 3 part two: Ten/Twelve
[cut to the Dark Garden]
Red: So, Shade, you ready to kick some butt?
Shade: Not yet. First, let's give a recap.
Red: Okay. So, readers, previously on DCA, Shade somehow got everybody to believe they can do whatever they want.
Shade: That's right. So now, everybody's running around, attacking each other.
Red: That's actually a very good description.
Shade: I agree. ...hey, when WAS the last DCA, anyway?
Red: I dunno. Like, December? 2008?
Shade: Dang. It's been *checks date* over 2 months!
Red: Holy crap. Well, with a new year comes new styles, right, DJay?
DJay: That's right. Welcome to 2009, chao. Also with a new year comes a new style of humor. Well, not NEW, but different.
Shade: What about new ideas?
DJay: Obviously. For instance, just you wait until Episode 56, Shade...
Shade: Sweet. Loving this.
Red: Really? I'm scared.
Shade: That was sarcasm, Red.
Red: Oh.
Shade: Wait a minute; where's Dark?
Dark: ...........................YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
[Dark jumps down from a cliff, Shade steps to the side, and Dark hits the ground with a THUD!]
Dark: Did I miss my cue?
Shade: Just a smidge. C'mon, you two, let's get our gang back together.
Dark: Rubber Goose?
Red: I think he means our CRIMEFIGHTING gang. Our unnamed one.
Dark: We should call it
Chapter 1: The Killer Mockingbirds
Shade: Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine, the Killer Mockingbirds, whatever. Let's kick some butt, or something.
[cut to the Chao Lobby]
[Shade peers up from the stairs, looking through his hands like binoculars]
Red: Well?
Shade: It's quiet....... TOO quiet.
Dark: (loudly) What?
Shade: I SAID, IT'S QUI--.... just shut up.
[Dark and Red snicker; they shake hands]
[cut to Shade's point of view-- he scans the lobby from his position]
[the camera passes a chao emotiball thing, then quickly zooms back to the ball, from which a Hero chao peeks out, then ducks]
Shade: I think I saw something. Dark, go check it out.
Dark: Yes, sir! Where was it?
Shade: Over by the Neutral Garden entrance.
[Dark goes to the entrance, and looks around]
Dark: Area secure, sarge!
[suddenly, Dark is grabbed, and pulled into the garden]
Shade: Dark?
Red: Somebody grabbed him. Want me to scout ahead?
Shade: We'll both go. C'mon.
[they enter the Neutral Garden, only to find all the trees knocked over, and the water really dirty]
[the only chao in there is Speedy]
Shade: Speedy.
Speedy: Heh-heh-hey, there. What brings y'all to our 'humble' abode?
Red: First of all, what's with the accent?
Speedy: May as well have SUMMIN' to define meself with!
Shade: Argh... his grammar annoys me. It's "with which to define myself," nimrod!
Speedy: (normal accent) Just joshing with you. I wouldn't go southern on you 'til I visit Louisiana.
[Speedy kicks a tree stump, which hurts his foot]
Speedy: So, what can I do ya for?
Red: Gay.
Shade: Shut up. Have you seen Dark anywhere?
Speedy: Dark? Hmmm... 'bout yea high *holds hand up to top of head*?
Shade: Yes.
Speedy: Nope. Although.... my memory IS a little bit fuzzy....
[Shade slips Speedy a fiver (slang for five bucks)]
Speedy: Cham took him behind the waterfall. Crazy **** in there.
Shade: I had a FEELING Cham had something to do with this!
[Shade and Red walk towards the waterfall]
Speedy: You're not actually thinking of going AFTER him, are ya?
Red: What's it to YOU, hotshot?
Speedy: What's it to ME? What's it to ME?! Well, hot****, I am the spokesperson for the DoomRaces.
Shade: DoomRaces?
Speedy: What is this, the Cross-Examination of a PARROT?! YES, the DOOMRACES.
Shade: What the crap are the DoomRaces?
Speedy: Deathtraps. Cham, you see, is a big name in the Underground. He runs these... deadly races frequently.
Shade: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. How the heck did you guys establish a freaking UNDERGROUND system that quickly?!
Speedy: Technically, we've had over two months to make 'em.
Shade: ...right. Carry on, wayward son.
Speedy: Oh-ho-hoh, I'd recommend YOU to be trekking wayward, mah boi. Run to the hills, before you get caught up in the underground.
Red: What's so bad about the underground?
Speedy: It's like the mafia. You place yer bets, and ya lose. You pay yer money, or ya die. Sometimes both.
Shade: I don't have to listen to this. C'mon, Red. Let's go get Dark.
[as they walk to the waterfall, Speedy shouts, "I'm telling ya, you're going in too deep! You'll never pull yourselves out!"]
Chapter 2: Escape From the Waterfall
[Shade and Red enter the waterfall, and go to the Chao Race place]
[they find Cham standing at the end of a long hall]
Cham: Hey there, people! Welcome to the great hall of DoomRaces! I hope you brought your cash up front!
Shade: I'm looking for Dark.
Cham: Dark? Of the Dark Garden?
Shade: The very same.
Cham: Let me check my records. *looks at clipboard* Ah, our newest racer! Yes, and how much are you willing to bet?
Red: Bet? Bet on WHAT?
Cham: Bet on Dark WINNING, of course! Is this your first time here at DoomRaces?
Shade: Kind of. Let me guess-- Dark was kidnapped by you SLEAZEbags, and now you're using him to get money.
Cham: Pretty much! So, how much? 2, 3K?
Red: Whoo, he'd better be one good*** racer, or I'm gonna sue!
Cham: He's not the best, that's for sure.
Shade: How's about we make a DEAL, Cham?
Cham: A DEAL? Now you're talking my language! So what'cha, what'cha, what'cha want, what'cha want?
Shade: I want Dark, Beastie Boy. If he beats your best in a race, I get him back.
Cham: I see. And if I win?
Shade: You can keep him, AND Red.
Red: Yeah, BEASTIE BOY! ...................wait, WHAT?!
Cham: Hoohoohoo... I like this. You got yourself a deal, Shade.
Shade: So, who's your fastest runner?
Cham: Speedy.
[Shade's grin turns to a wide-eyed stare]
Shade: I... I thought he was just your spokesperson.
Cham: He advertises himself. So, do you accept the terms...
[the room gets darker, and Cham leans forward with suspicious eyes]
Cham: ....or are you gonna whimp out on me?
Shade: I accept the terms.
Cham: Excellent. Let's watch the race on my plasma screen TV.
Red: Hey, wasn't that originally ours?
Cham: I won it from Shade Junior. That's how good Speedy is.
[they watch the entire two-second race on the TV. Guess who won?]
[cut to Red and Dark in a dark room]
Dark: So, you got captured, too, huh?
Red: No, I'm just visiting.
Dark: Oh. I didn't know people could visit h--
Red: That was sarcasm.
Dark: Ah.
[pause]
Dark: So, when are we gonna leave?
Red: I don't think we ARE gonna leave.
Dark: Oh.
[pause]
Dark: Why not?
Red: Because Cham's the king of the underground.
Dark: Oh.
[pause]
Dark: Couldn't we just kill him?
Red: No.
Dark: Oh.
[pause]
Red: Wait a minute. We COULD just kill him!
Dark: YEAH! ROCK N' ROLL!!!
[Dark and Red break out of their cell]
[cut to Shade, Dark, and Red walking out of the Neutral Garden]
Chapter 3: Don't RUSH to Conclusions, Guys
Dark: Boy, it sure was nice of Cham to surrender that quickly!
Red: Yeah! And I didn't even have to cry!
Shade: It's also a good thing that the Neutral Garden is now under control again.
Red: You said it.
Shade: However, we've still got the rest of the Dark Garden, AND the Hero Garden to take care of.
Red: Aww... this might actually take a while.
Shade: That's why we musn't split up. If we can stick together for this, we can get this done in no time.
Dark: YEAH! Let's show this creep the REAL superpower of TEAMWORK!
[silence]
Shade: ...sure, why not?
[cut to the Hero Garden]
[the whole garden, like the others, is in complete devastation]
[Heroes are running amok EVERYWHERE]
Red: Man, how will we save THIS garden?
Shade: Observe.
[Shade moves to the fountain, turns to face the garden, and takes a deep breath]
Shade: ....HEY! EVERYBODY! ROCK BAND TOURNAMENT!
[everyone looks in his direction, and stops what they are doing]
All: *cheer* ROCK BAND!!!
Hero: Which one?
Shade: Number two.
All: *cheer* ROCK BAND 2!!!
Shade: HOLD IT. Not that easy, guys. And not just ANY tournament!
Tail: Well, then.... what KIND of tournament?
Shade: Actually, I'm sorry, but I misled you. And I used the wrong word. Not "tournament," but.... a DUEL.
Heroes: *gasp*
Shade: A BATTLE..... of the BANDS.
Chapter 3.5: Battle of the Rock Bands
[cut to the Chao Lobby, two TVs have been set up, each with Rock Band 2, and there are two teams of four chao]
Band: Hero Eliminatronz
Lead Guitarist: Shade (Hard)
Bassist: Shadow the chao (Expert)
Drums: Dark (Hard)
Vocals: Red (Hard)
Band: Firebert
Lead Guitarist: Chao (Hard)
Bassist: Tail (Hard)
Drums: Hero (Expert)
Vocals: Knuckle (Expert)
Shade: Pfft... "Firebert?"
Chao: You mean, "pfft, 'Hero Eliminatronz!'"
Shade: Hey, we only started it so Shadow could join. He wouldn't fit in our REAL band.
Knuckle: ENOUGH TALK! Now we duel.
Dark: I say first we play, "A Jagged Gorgeous Winter."
Hero: No way! "Aqualung," all the way!
[the rest agree with Hero]
Shade: Majority rules, Dark.
Song: Aqualung, by Jethro Tull
[heavy guitar, Chao messes up]
Red, Knuckle: Sitting on a park bench
eyeing little girls with bad intent.
Snot running down his nose
greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes.
Hey, Aqualung!
Drying in the cold sun
Watching as the frilly panties run.
Hey Aqualung!
Feeling like a dead duck
spitting out pieces of his broken luck.
Whoa, Aqualung!
[things go quiet, so far Firebert got better, and is in the lead]
Red, Knuckle: Sun streaking cold
an old man wandering lonely.
Taking time
the only way he knows.
Neck hurting bad,
as he bends to pick a dog-end
he goes down to the bog
and warms his feet.
Feeling alone
the army's up the road
salvation à la mode and
a cup of tea.
Aqualung my friend
don't you start away uneasy
you poor old sod, you see, it's only me.
[things go faster, and Firebert is messing up a lot, Darks are in the lead]
Red, Knuckle: Do you still remember
December's foggy freeze
when the ice that
clings onto your beard was
screaming agony.
And you snatch your rattling last breaths
with deep-sea-diver sounds,
and the flowers bloom like
madness in the spring.
Sun streaking cold
an old man wandering lonely.
Taking time
the only way he knows.
Neck hurting bad,
as he bends to pick a dog-end
he goes down to the bog
and warms his feet.
Feeling alone
the army's up the road
salvation à la mode and
a cup of tea.
Aqualung my friend
don't you start away uneasy
you poor old sod, you see, it's only me.
[Guitar Solo, Chao and Shade act in a "Tug of War" fashion, each one playing a riff, then letting the other play one]
[Shade does rather better]
[slower again]
Red, Knuckle: Aqualung my friend
don't you start away uneasy
you poor old sod, you see, it's only me.
[back to original riff]
Red, Knuckle: Sitting on a park bench
eyeing little girls with bad intent.
Snot running down his nose
greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes.
Hey Aqualung!
Drying in the cold sun
Watching as the frilly panties run.
Hey, Aqualung!
Feeling like a dead duck
spitting out pieces of his broken luck.
Hey, Aqualung!
Whoa, Aqualung!
[in the end, the Hero Eliminatronz win]
Shade: Do we have time for another song?
Chao: Only one.
Shade: Only one?
Chao: Only one.
Chapter 4: Are you asking for a CHALLENGE?!
Dark: Let's do double or nothing!
Chao: So, if we win, we win, and if you win, you win by a landslide?
Dark: Yeah!
Red: Guys, we really actually don't have time for another.
???: How about time for a one-on-one guitar duel?
[everyone looks in the direction of the Dark Garden]
[it's Shade Junior!]
SJR: Well?
Shade: Maybe not a one-on-one... what about four-on-four?
SJR: ....a band duel? ....fine.
Shade: Let's say you win. What happens?
SJR: The Dark Garden becomes my empire. If you win, it's yours again.
[everyone gasps]
Red: You're... you're betting on leadership?
SJR: Yeah. You could say I'm tired of being the son of the ruler, and I want a piece of the glory.
Shade: Please. You're still just a kid.
SJR: Yeah, a kid who can play guitar on Expert.
[everyone gasps]
Tail: Only one other chao in the garden can do that!
SJR: And I want to duel him in a band duel.
Shade: .....you're on.
Band: Bad Luck
Lead Guitarist: Shade Junior (Expert)
Shade: Wait. Who else is in your band?
SJR: Oh, nobody special. Just the people who trained me to be a guitar god. Fellas!
[three figures step into the Lobby; as the chao see them, they cower in fear]
SJR: These three put me through harsh training, and this is my ultimate test.
Shade: .....you're on.
Bassist: Mecha Knuckles (Expert)
Drummer: Metal Sonic (Expert)
Vocalist: Tails Doll (Expert)
SJR: One more thing. Let's do Rock Band 1.
Shade: ....the sign of a true duelist. Not too many people choose that game, son.
SJR: I know. But I do.
Shade: Fine. And, since you called the duel, you pick the song.
SJR: ......Green Grass. I hear it's the hardest song on guitar.
[everyone gasps yet again, some chao faint]
Shade: That's... that's crazy! You can't put your bandmates through that!
SJR: Hey, be glad I didn't pick Visions, from number 2.
Shade: Son, have you ever even PLAYED Green Grass?
SJR: No, but I don't need to. I can beat the hardest ones on Rock Band 2.
[Shade stands, realizing something, and then grins]
Shade: All right. You're on.
Band: Rubber Goose
Lead Guitarist: Dark (Expert)
Bassist: Red (Expert)
Drummer: Shade (Expert)
TD: So, who's my duelman?
Shade: The best singer in the whole world.
Vocalist: Cham (Expert)
Cham: You called?
Shade: Yeah. We need you to sing Green Grass.
Cham: Oh, sure. Against them?
Shade: Yeah. My son doesn't know what he's done.
[Cham looks at the other band]
Cham: You're right. They seem like grunge, punk, and metal people.
Shade: Yeah. And we're 100% rock.
Cham: You said it. Let's rock.
Shade: Junior.... we're ready.
SJR: All right.
Chapter 4.9: Don't Try this Song at Home, Kids
Song: Green Grass and High Tides, by The Outlaws
[slow guitar intro, both play it perfectly, except for when things get complicated, where SJR messes up]
[faster guitar intro-- Shade Junior realizes that this song won't be easy]
Cham, TD: In a place you only dream of,
Where your soul is always free,
Silver stages, golden curtains
Filled my head, plain as can be...
As a rainbow grew 'round the sun,
All the stars I've loved who died,
Came from somewhere beyond the scene you see...
These lovely people played just for meeeee......
[killer guitar riff, SJR messes up BADLY]
Cham, TD: Now if I let you see this place,
Where stories all ring true,
Will you let me past your face
To see what's really you?
It's not for me to ask these questions
As though I were a king....
For you have to love, believe, and feel,
Before the burst of tamborines take you therrrrre...
Green grass and high tides forever!
Castles of stone souls and glory!
Lost faces say, "We adore you!"
As kings and queens bow and play for youuuuuuuuuuu.....
[crazy acoustic guitar solo; SJR messes up WAY too much]
[it keeps going, but SJR catches up]
[keeps going even longer]
[even more]
[whoa, this is long]
[then, he messes up, and Dark gets a big lead]
[electric guitar solo!]
[SJR and Dark are almost tied]
Cham, TD: Those who don't believe me,
Find your souls and set them free...
Those who do, believe and love,
As time will be your key...
Time and time again I've thanked them
For the peace of mind...
They helped me find myself
Amongst the music and the rhyme
That enchants you therrrrrrrre...........
Green grass and high tides forever!
Castles of stone souls and glory!
Lost faces say, "We adore you!"
As kings and queens bow and play for youuuuuuu....
[things go fast like they did in the intro, but this time they STAY that way]
Cham, TD: Yeah, they play just for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu(extra long)!
[crazy acoustic guitar solo 2; SJR gets the hang of it this time]
[keeps going]
[keeps going]
[keeps going]
[keeps going]
[and going]
[and going]
[and going]
[eventually, we reach the main event: two "snakes," one after another, in the notes]
[simply put, imagine a guitar controller, if you've ever seen one]
[now, imagine this: Green, Red, Yellow, Red, Green, Red, Yellow, etc]
[and coming at the chao SUPA fast]
[if you want a good video of it, here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhgbhzAh3-8 (Precisely 7:02 is the first "snake" part)]
[SJR fails twice here, but is revived by his bandmates]
[then, things get easy again]
[after even longer, we reach the final main event: a really long series of:]
[orange, blue, yellow, again and again and again, faster than the snake sections]
[yes, it is on the video]
[and SJR fails halfway through this]
[since this is his third fail, he CANNOT be revived, so that's... pretty much that]
[aaaaand... BIG ROCK ENDING!!!!]
[triple note: green, red, blue, I think]
DA WINNA IZ: RUBBER GOOSE!
Chapter 5: So, in Conclusion, Kids...
SJR: How did...? How did I...?!
Dark: It's pretty simple, Junior. You're really good at moshing, mashing, and potatoing, because you're a metalhead.
Shade: But, choosing Green Grass was your biggest mistake.
Dark: Not really. His biggest mistake was taking us on. As Wolf O'Donnel says... you're good. But I'm BETTER!
Shade: In English, you shouldn't fight us. You can't play country songs like we can.
SJR: But..... but.... but I can beat Through the Fire and Flames... 98%!
Dark: Guess what? I can FC it.
[Dark walks away; SJR drops to his knees, and shouts, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"]
[and, let me translate that conversation into non-GuitarHero/RockBand:
Shade Junior is a heavy metal-type person. He can play metal songs really well.
But, he can't play country.
Second of all, Dark is better than him. Dark can FC (Full Combo, or 100% without messing up AT ALL) what he can 98%.
So, he played the wrong song against the wrong chao.
Also, Note: None of this reflects my playings skills, of which I have none. I can't even BEAT Green Grass.]
Me (Narrator): And so, the gardens went back to normal. However, people's characters did not.
[cut to the Poker Gang (Metal Sonic, Mecha Knuckles, Tails Doll, you know the drill) in the Stardust Eggman (statue of Eggman in Stardust Speedway Zone 2), playing poker (as a pun on "Metal Sonic's poker buddies")]
Me: The Poker Gang went back to playing poker, except now they also host Rock Band tournaments (instead of Guitar Hero) every Saturday at 8:00 PM.
[cut to Cham in the Neutral Garden, lying against a tree, looking at the sky....box]
Me: Cham quit the Underground business. Now, he spends days thinking up lyrics to country songs.
[cut to the Heroes being normal]
Me: The Heroes decided to stop being jerks, and pretend this whole Chao In Space never happened. At all.
[cut to the Dark trio (Shade, Dark, Red) holding real instruments]
Me: The Darks decided to get the gang back together. That is, the MUSICAL gang. Rubber Goose.
[pause]
Me: Yeah, I don't remember them ever stopping it, either. Well..... they did. And now it's alive again.
[cut to Shade Junior sitting at the Rock Band setlist menu, "Green Grass and High Tides" is highlighted]
[also, he's sitting in a cooped-up, sad sort of way-- kinda like I have been for the past few weeks]
Me: Shade Junior has shut up since then, and focused on beating Green Grass. He hasn't been seen in public in a while.
[fade to black]
Me: And so it seems that we've come to the end of our episode. Finally, I can rest knowing that DCA is finished. For good.
I mean... not finished. It'll never be finished. Not while..... HE... is still alive.
*DCA REMASTERED!!! "Remastered, Adjective. No longer letting Betas run your life. See, Season 7 syndrome."
"Season 7 syndrome, noun. A mental condition in which a person, usually a writer, undergoes a change, commonly referred to as his or her 'Gray/Grey Journey. Symptoms include bringing back Rebel chao, Cyber chao, and other subjects included in Beta times, without having a thing to do with the betas."*
Episode 53: Chao In Space 3 part two: Ten/Twelve
[cut to the Dark Garden]
Red: So, Shade, you ready to kick some butt?
Shade: Not yet. First, let's give a recap.
Red: Okay. So, readers, previously on DCA, Shade somehow got everybody to believe they can do whatever they want.
Shade: That's right. So now, everybody's running around, attacking each other.
Red: That's actually a very good description.
Shade: I agree. ...hey, when WAS the last DCA, anyway?
Red: I dunno. Like, December? 2008?
Shade: Dang. It's been *checks date* over 2 months!
Red: Holy crap. Well, with a new year comes new styles, right, DJay?
DJay: That's right. Welcome to 2009, chao. Also with a new year comes a new style of humor. Well, not NEW, but different.
Shade: What about new ideas?
DJay: Obviously. For instance, just you wait until Episode 56, Shade...
Shade: Sweet. Loving this.
Red: Really? I'm scared.
Shade: That was sarcasm, Red.
Red: Oh.
Shade: Wait a minute; where's Dark?
Dark: ...........................YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
[Dark jumps down from a cliff, Shade steps to the side, and Dark hits the ground with a THUD!]
Dark: Did I miss my cue?
Shade: Just a smidge. C'mon, you two, let's get our gang back together.
Dark: Rubber Goose?
Red: I think he means our CRIMEFIGHTING gang. Our unnamed one.
Dark: We should call it
Chapter 1: The Killer Mockingbirds
Shade: Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine, the Killer Mockingbirds, whatever. Let's kick some butt, or something.
[cut to the Chao Lobby]
[Shade peers up from the stairs, looking through his hands like binoculars]
Red: Well?
Shade: It's quiet....... TOO quiet.
Dark: (loudly) What?
Shade: I SAID, IT'S QUI--.... just shut up.
[Dark and Red snicker; they shake hands]
[cut to Shade's point of view-- he scans the lobby from his position]
[the camera passes a chao emotiball thing, then quickly zooms back to the ball, from which a Hero chao peeks out, then ducks]
Shade: I think I saw something. Dark, go check it out.
Dark: Yes, sir! Where was it?
Shade: Over by the Neutral Garden entrance.
[Dark goes to the entrance, and looks around]
Dark: Area secure, sarge!
[suddenly, Dark is grabbed, and pulled into the garden]
Shade: Dark?
Red: Somebody grabbed him. Want me to scout ahead?
Shade: We'll both go. C'mon.
[they enter the Neutral Garden, only to find all the trees knocked over, and the water really dirty]
[the only chao in there is Speedy]
Shade: Speedy.
Speedy: Heh-heh-hey, there. What brings y'all to our 'humble' abode?
Red: First of all, what's with the accent?
Speedy: May as well have SUMMIN' to define meself with!
Shade: Argh... his grammar annoys me. It's "with which to define myself," nimrod!
Speedy: (normal accent) Just joshing with you. I wouldn't go southern on you 'til I visit Louisiana.
[Speedy kicks a tree stump, which hurts his foot]
Speedy: So, what can I do ya for?
Red: Gay.
Shade: Shut up. Have you seen Dark anywhere?
Speedy: Dark? Hmmm... 'bout yea high *holds hand up to top of head*?
Shade: Yes.
Speedy: Nope. Although.... my memory IS a little bit fuzzy....
[Shade slips Speedy a fiver (slang for five bucks)]
Speedy: Cham took him behind the waterfall. Crazy **** in there.
Shade: I had a FEELING Cham had something to do with this!
[Shade and Red walk towards the waterfall]
Speedy: You're not actually thinking of going AFTER him, are ya?
Red: What's it to YOU, hotshot?
Speedy: What's it to ME? What's it to ME?! Well, hot****, I am the spokesperson for the DoomRaces.
Shade: DoomRaces?
Speedy: What is this, the Cross-Examination of a PARROT?! YES, the DOOMRACES.
Shade: What the crap are the DoomRaces?
Speedy: Deathtraps. Cham, you see, is a big name in the Underground. He runs these... deadly races frequently.
Shade: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. How the heck did you guys establish a freaking UNDERGROUND system that quickly?!
Speedy: Technically, we've had over two months to make 'em.
Shade: ...right. Carry on, wayward son.
Speedy: Oh-ho-hoh, I'd recommend YOU to be trekking wayward, mah boi. Run to the hills, before you get caught up in the underground.
Red: What's so bad about the underground?
Speedy: It's like the mafia. You place yer bets, and ya lose. You pay yer money, or ya die. Sometimes both.
Shade: I don't have to listen to this. C'mon, Red. Let's go get Dark.
[as they walk to the waterfall, Speedy shouts, "I'm telling ya, you're going in too deep! You'll never pull yourselves out!"]
Chapter 2: Escape From the Waterfall
[Shade and Red enter the waterfall, and go to the Chao Race place]
[they find Cham standing at the end of a long hall]
Cham: Hey there, people! Welcome to the great hall of DoomRaces! I hope you brought your cash up front!
Shade: I'm looking for Dark.
Cham: Dark? Of the Dark Garden?
Shade: The very same.
Cham: Let me check my records. *looks at clipboard* Ah, our newest racer! Yes, and how much are you willing to bet?
Red: Bet? Bet on WHAT?
Cham: Bet on Dark WINNING, of course! Is this your first time here at DoomRaces?
Shade: Kind of. Let me guess-- Dark was kidnapped by you SLEAZEbags, and now you're using him to get money.
Cham: Pretty much! So, how much? 2, 3K?
Red: Whoo, he'd better be one good*** racer, or I'm gonna sue!
Cham: He's not the best, that's for sure.
Shade: How's about we make a DEAL, Cham?
Cham: A DEAL? Now you're talking my language! So what'cha, what'cha, what'cha want, what'cha want?
Shade: I want Dark, Beastie Boy. If he beats your best in a race, I get him back.
Cham: I see. And if I win?
Shade: You can keep him, AND Red.
Red: Yeah, BEASTIE BOY! ...................wait, WHAT?!
Cham: Hoohoohoo... I like this. You got yourself a deal, Shade.
Shade: So, who's your fastest runner?
Cham: Speedy.
[Shade's grin turns to a wide-eyed stare]
Shade: I... I thought he was just your spokesperson.
Cham: He advertises himself. So, do you accept the terms...
[the room gets darker, and Cham leans forward with suspicious eyes]
Cham: ....or are you gonna whimp out on me?
Shade: I accept the terms.
Cham: Excellent. Let's watch the race on my plasma screen TV.
Red: Hey, wasn't that originally ours?
Cham: I won it from Shade Junior. That's how good Speedy is.
[they watch the entire two-second race on the TV. Guess who won?]
[cut to Red and Dark in a dark room]
Dark: So, you got captured, too, huh?
Red: No, I'm just visiting.
Dark: Oh. I didn't know people could visit h--
Red: That was sarcasm.
Dark: Ah.
[pause]
Dark: So, when are we gonna leave?
Red: I don't think we ARE gonna leave.
Dark: Oh.
[pause]
Dark: Why not?
Red: Because Cham's the king of the underground.
Dark: Oh.
[pause]
Dark: Couldn't we just kill him?
Red: No.
Dark: Oh.
[pause]
Red: Wait a minute. We COULD just kill him!
Dark: YEAH! ROCK N' ROLL!!!
[Dark and Red break out of their cell]
[cut to Shade, Dark, and Red walking out of the Neutral Garden]
Chapter 3: Don't RUSH to Conclusions, Guys
Dark: Boy, it sure was nice of Cham to surrender that quickly!
Red: Yeah! And I didn't even have to cry!
Shade: It's also a good thing that the Neutral Garden is now under control again.
Red: You said it.
Shade: However, we've still got the rest of the Dark Garden, AND the Hero Garden to take care of.
Red: Aww... this might actually take a while.
Shade: That's why we musn't split up. If we can stick together for this, we can get this done in no time.
Dark: YEAH! Let's show this creep the REAL superpower of TEAMWORK!
[silence]
Shade: ...sure, why not?
[cut to the Hero Garden]
[the whole garden, like the others, is in complete devastation]
[Heroes are running amok EVERYWHERE]
Red: Man, how will we save THIS garden?
Shade: Observe.
[Shade moves to the fountain, turns to face the garden, and takes a deep breath]
Shade: ....HEY! EVERYBODY! ROCK BAND TOURNAMENT!
[everyone looks in his direction, and stops what they are doing]
All: *cheer* ROCK BAND!!!
Hero: Which one?
Shade: Number two.
All: *cheer* ROCK BAND 2!!!
Shade: HOLD IT. Not that easy, guys. And not just ANY tournament!
Tail: Well, then.... what KIND of tournament?
Shade: Actually, I'm sorry, but I misled you. And I used the wrong word. Not "tournament," but.... a DUEL.
Heroes: *gasp*
Shade: A BATTLE..... of the BANDS.
Chapter 3.5: Battle of the Rock Bands
[cut to the Chao Lobby, two TVs have been set up, each with Rock Band 2, and there are two teams of four chao]
Band: Hero Eliminatronz
Lead Guitarist: Shade (Hard)
Bassist: Shadow the chao (Expert)
Drums: Dark (Hard)
Vocals: Red (Hard)
Band: Firebert
Lead Guitarist: Chao (Hard)
Bassist: Tail (Hard)
Drums: Hero (Expert)
Vocals: Knuckle (Expert)
Shade: Pfft... "Firebert?"
Chao: You mean, "pfft, 'Hero Eliminatronz!'"
Shade: Hey, we only started it so Shadow could join. He wouldn't fit in our REAL band.
Knuckle: ENOUGH TALK! Now we duel.
Dark: I say first we play, "A Jagged Gorgeous Winter."
Hero: No way! "Aqualung," all the way!
[the rest agree with Hero]
Shade: Majority rules, Dark.
Song: Aqualung, by Jethro Tull
[heavy guitar, Chao messes up]
Red, Knuckle: Sitting on a park bench
eyeing little girls with bad intent.
Snot running down his nose
greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes.
Hey, Aqualung!
Drying in the cold sun
Watching as the frilly panties run.
Hey Aqualung!
Feeling like a dead duck
spitting out pieces of his broken luck.
Whoa, Aqualung!
[things go quiet, so far Firebert got better, and is in the lead]
Red, Knuckle: Sun streaking cold
an old man wandering lonely.
Taking time
the only way he knows.
Neck hurting bad,
as he bends to pick a dog-end
he goes down to the bog
and warms his feet.
Feeling alone
the army's up the road
salvation à la mode and
a cup of tea.
Aqualung my friend
don't you start away uneasy
you poor old sod, you see, it's only me.
[things go faster, and Firebert is messing up a lot, Darks are in the lead]
Red, Knuckle: Do you still remember
December's foggy freeze
when the ice that
clings onto your beard was
screaming agony.
And you snatch your rattling last breaths
with deep-sea-diver sounds,
and the flowers bloom like
madness in the spring.
Sun streaking cold
an old man wandering lonely.
Taking time
the only way he knows.
Neck hurting bad,
as he bends to pick a dog-end
he goes down to the bog
and warms his feet.
Feeling alone
the army's up the road
salvation à la mode and
a cup of tea.
Aqualung my friend
don't you start away uneasy
you poor old sod, you see, it's only me.
[Guitar Solo, Chao and Shade act in a "Tug of War" fashion, each one playing a riff, then letting the other play one]
[Shade does rather better]
[slower again]
Red, Knuckle: Aqualung my friend
don't you start away uneasy
you poor old sod, you see, it's only me.
[back to original riff]
Red, Knuckle: Sitting on a park bench
eyeing little girls with bad intent.
Snot running down his nose
greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes.
Hey Aqualung!
Drying in the cold sun
Watching as the frilly panties run.
Hey, Aqualung!
Feeling like a dead duck
spitting out pieces of his broken luck.
Hey, Aqualung!
Whoa, Aqualung!
[in the end, the Hero Eliminatronz win]
Shade: Do we have time for another song?
Chao: Only one.
Shade: Only one?
Chao: Only one.
Chapter 4: Are you asking for a CHALLENGE?!
Dark: Let's do double or nothing!
Chao: So, if we win, we win, and if you win, you win by a landslide?
Dark: Yeah!
Red: Guys, we really actually don't have time for another.
???: How about time for a one-on-one guitar duel?
[everyone looks in the direction of the Dark Garden]
[it's Shade Junior!]
SJR: Well?
Shade: Maybe not a one-on-one... what about four-on-four?
SJR: ....a band duel? ....fine.
Shade: Let's say you win. What happens?
SJR: The Dark Garden becomes my empire. If you win, it's yours again.
[everyone gasps]
Red: You're... you're betting on leadership?
SJR: Yeah. You could say I'm tired of being the son of the ruler, and I want a piece of the glory.
Shade: Please. You're still just a kid.
SJR: Yeah, a kid who can play guitar on Expert.
[everyone gasps]
Tail: Only one other chao in the garden can do that!
SJR: And I want to duel him in a band duel.
Shade: .....you're on.
Band: Bad Luck
Lead Guitarist: Shade Junior (Expert)
Shade: Wait. Who else is in your band?
SJR: Oh, nobody special. Just the people who trained me to be a guitar god. Fellas!
[three figures step into the Lobby; as the chao see them, they cower in fear]
SJR: These three put me through harsh training, and this is my ultimate test.
Shade: .....you're on.
Bassist: Mecha Knuckles (Expert)
Drummer: Metal Sonic (Expert)
Vocalist: Tails Doll (Expert)
SJR: One more thing. Let's do Rock Band 1.
Shade: ....the sign of a true duelist. Not too many people choose that game, son.
SJR: I know. But I do.
Shade: Fine. And, since you called the duel, you pick the song.
SJR: ......Green Grass. I hear it's the hardest song on guitar.
[everyone gasps yet again, some chao faint]
Shade: That's... that's crazy! You can't put your bandmates through that!
SJR: Hey, be glad I didn't pick Visions, from number 2.
Shade: Son, have you ever even PLAYED Green Grass?
SJR: No, but I don't need to. I can beat the hardest ones on Rock Band 2.
[Shade stands, realizing something, and then grins]
Shade: All right. You're on.
Band: Rubber Goose
Lead Guitarist: Dark (Expert)
Bassist: Red (Expert)
Drummer: Shade (Expert)
TD: So, who's my duelman?
Shade: The best singer in the whole world.
Vocalist: Cham (Expert)
Cham: You called?
Shade: Yeah. We need you to sing Green Grass.
Cham: Oh, sure. Against them?
Shade: Yeah. My son doesn't know what he's done.
[Cham looks at the other band]
Cham: You're right. They seem like grunge, punk, and metal people.
Shade: Yeah. And we're 100% rock.
Cham: You said it. Let's rock.
Shade: Junior.... we're ready.
SJR: All right.
Chapter 4.9: Don't Try this Song at Home, Kids
Song: Green Grass and High Tides, by The Outlaws
[slow guitar intro, both play it perfectly, except for when things get complicated, where SJR messes up]
[faster guitar intro-- Shade Junior realizes that this song won't be easy]
Cham, TD: In a place you only dream of,
Where your soul is always free,
Silver stages, golden curtains
Filled my head, plain as can be...
As a rainbow grew 'round the sun,
All the stars I've loved who died,
Came from somewhere beyond the scene you see...
These lovely people played just for meeeee......
[killer guitar riff, SJR messes up BADLY]
Cham, TD: Now if I let you see this place,
Where stories all ring true,
Will you let me past your face
To see what's really you?
It's not for me to ask these questions
As though I were a king....
For you have to love, believe, and feel,
Before the burst of tamborines take you therrrrre...
Green grass and high tides forever!
Castles of stone souls and glory!
Lost faces say, "We adore you!"
As kings and queens bow and play for youuuuuuuuuuu.....
[crazy acoustic guitar solo; SJR messes up WAY too much]
[it keeps going, but SJR catches up]
[keeps going even longer]
[even more]
[whoa, this is long]
[then, he messes up, and Dark gets a big lead]
[electric guitar solo!]
[SJR and Dark are almost tied]
Cham, TD: Those who don't believe me,
Find your souls and set them free...
Those who do, believe and love,
As time will be your key...
Time and time again I've thanked them
For the peace of mind...
They helped me find myself
Amongst the music and the rhyme
That enchants you therrrrrrrre...........
Green grass and high tides forever!
Castles of stone souls and glory!
Lost faces say, "We adore you!"
As kings and queens bow and play for youuuuuuu....
[things go fast like they did in the intro, but this time they STAY that way]
Cham, TD: Yeah, they play just for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu(extra long)!
[crazy acoustic guitar solo 2; SJR gets the hang of it this time]
[keeps going]
[keeps going]
[keeps going]
[keeps going]
[and going]
[and going]
[and going]
[eventually, we reach the main event: two "snakes," one after another, in the notes]
[simply put, imagine a guitar controller, if you've ever seen one]
[now, imagine this: Green, Red, Yellow, Red, Green, Red, Yellow, etc]
[and coming at the chao SUPA fast]
[if you want a good video of it, here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhgbhzAh3-8 (Precisely 7:02 is the first "snake" part)]
[SJR fails twice here, but is revived by his bandmates]
[then, things get easy again]
[after even longer, we reach the final main event: a really long series of:]
[orange, blue, yellow, again and again and again, faster than the snake sections]
[yes, it is on the video]
[and SJR fails halfway through this]
[since this is his third fail, he CANNOT be revived, so that's... pretty much that]
[aaaaand... BIG ROCK ENDING!!!!]
[triple note: green, red, blue, I think]
DA WINNA IZ: RUBBER GOOSE!
Chapter 5: So, in Conclusion, Kids...
SJR: How did...? How did I...?!
Dark: It's pretty simple, Junior. You're really good at moshing, mashing, and potatoing, because you're a metalhead.
Shade: But, choosing Green Grass was your biggest mistake.
Dark: Not really. His biggest mistake was taking us on. As Wolf O'Donnel says... you're good. But I'm BETTER!
Shade: In English, you shouldn't fight us. You can't play country songs like we can.
SJR: But..... but.... but I can beat Through the Fire and Flames... 98%!
Dark: Guess what? I can FC it.
[Dark walks away; SJR drops to his knees, and shouts, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"]
[and, let me translate that conversation into non-GuitarHero/RockBand:
Shade Junior is a heavy metal-type person. He can play metal songs really well.
But, he can't play country.
Second of all, Dark is better than him. Dark can FC (Full Combo, or 100% without messing up AT ALL) what he can 98%.
So, he played the wrong song against the wrong chao.
Also, Note: None of this reflects my playings skills, of which I have none. I can't even BEAT Green Grass.]
Me (Narrator): And so, the gardens went back to normal. However, people's characters did not.
[cut to the Poker Gang (Metal Sonic, Mecha Knuckles, Tails Doll, you know the drill) in the Stardust Eggman (statue of Eggman in Stardust Speedway Zone 2), playing poker (as a pun on "Metal Sonic's poker buddies")]
Me: The Poker Gang went back to playing poker, except now they also host Rock Band tournaments (instead of Guitar Hero) every Saturday at 8:00 PM.
[cut to Cham in the Neutral Garden, lying against a tree, looking at the sky....box]
Me: Cham quit the Underground business. Now, he spends days thinking up lyrics to country songs.
[cut to the Heroes being normal]
Me: The Heroes decided to stop being jerks, and pretend this whole Chao In Space never happened. At all.
[cut to the Dark trio (Shade, Dark, Red) holding real instruments]
Me: The Darks decided to get the gang back together. That is, the MUSICAL gang. Rubber Goose.
[pause]
Me: Yeah, I don't remember them ever stopping it, either. Well..... they did. And now it's alive again.
[cut to Shade Junior sitting at the Rock Band setlist menu, "Green Grass and High Tides" is highlighted]
[also, he's sitting in a cooped-up, sad sort of way-- kinda like I have been for the past few weeks]
Me: Shade Junior has shut up since then, and focused on beating Green Grass. He hasn't been seen in public in a while.
[fade to black]
Me: And so it seems that we've come to the end of our episode. Finally, I can rest knowing that DCA is finished. For good.
I mean... not finished. It'll never be finished. Not while..... HE... is still alive.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
I'm still alive, you know.
This is a message to inform you of my being alive.
Because I am still alive.
No new DCA just yet, but I'm nearly done with it. In fact, I'm gonna try to get it done right now.
So, you might see a new DCA mere minutes after this post.
-DJay32
Because I am still alive.
No new DCA just yet, but I'm nearly done with it. In fact, I'm gonna try to get it done right now.
So, you might see a new DCA mere minutes after this post.
-DJay32
Thursday, December 4, 2008
150th post. And Professor Shade-on Chapter 6!
DARK CHAO ADVENTURES BONUS: Professor (She)Shade-on and the Curious Animals
A Bonus Story by DJay32
JOURNAL (Chapter 5)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? UNSOLVED
Gadgets: PLAYER TRACKER (keeps track of players) {Knuckles is in the Hero Garden}
SCAN-O-MOTRON (scans for invisible things) {loose bricks somewhere in this room}
Characters: Chaosky (Male, Third-Party)- The detective in this case.
Zagu (Male, Third-Party)- Chaosky's partner in this case.
Shade (Female)- Regular detective, taking a break.
Omochao (Male)- Claims there's an Omochao Association in Room 124.
Punchinello Kawizzyworth (Male)- Claims there is not an Omochao Association in Room 124.
Receptionist (Female)- Gave information about mystery.
Chapter 6: Shade-on Rocks On.
[cut to inside the hidden room place]
Chy: Oh, boy.... this is tough.
Zagu: C'mon! We've got to think of something!
Chy: Hmmm..... what would the Professor do?
Zagu: I dunno. She'd probably look at the painting, then look at the receptionist, then look at the walls, and have a little fun.
Chy: Yeah. Then snap, and say,
What the Professor Would Say the Conclusion is (Wilted Rose)
The Receptionist is the biggest clue here. She's just standing there. Yet, she knows so much. Obviously, she should know pretty much everything going on here.
Chy: ......I don't know. That's my best impression of her.
Zagu: You were pretty good.
Chy: Hey, maybe the exit's behind the painting?
Zagu: Yeah, maybe. Let's check.
[it is]
Both: ..........oh.
Rec: Enjoy your visit to the Omochao Association.
[the other exit, leading to the Principal's Office, opens, and SShade walks in]
SShade: Chaosky? Zagu? Are you two there?
Zagu: We're here. We're just about to enter the Omochao Association.
SShade: You figured out a vague puzzle all by yourself?
Chy: It wasn't that hard. All ya had to do was check behind the painting.
SShade: Well, I've calmed down now. And... I've decided that I started this insane thing. May as well continue our detective agency.
Zagu: That's the spirit, Professor!
SShade: Stop calling me that.
[they open the door or whatever, and find themselves in a dark room]
[a random person is standing there]
Person: Welcome. Welcome. Welcome.
SShade: Hello, hello, hello.
Person: This is the Omochao Association. I'm Niles. Or.... maybe I'm Jeff. Or Steve. Or John. Or Timmy. Or Billy. Or Bobby. Or Ted. Or Homer. Or Charles. Or--
Zagu: Okay, we get it.
Person: Are you here to be acquainted? ....to a job as an Omochao?
SShade: I'm afraid not, sir.
Person: Then..... what is your purpose for entering?
SShade: I wish to learn about the Omochao Association.
Person: Oh. Well, the name's Mort. Here, lemme tell ya what we do.
What We Do (The Omochao Association)
We here at the Omochao Association, or just Mary and I-- Mary's the Receptionist. Well, Mary and I noticed that too many people play video games without knowing what they're doing. So, we decided to be living encyclopedias for such people. However, we couldn't tell EVERYBODY in the world stuff while they're playing; that's too many people. And there was no point getting humans to join. For one thing, they wouldn't want to. So, we found these chao things, and set up a little place here, hiring them to teach people stuff.
Mort: That's essentially it.
SShade: Oh.
Chy: So, we went through all that just to learn THAT?
Mort: I do believe that we also have a file for you, about a certain project.
SShade: The G-A Project?
Mort: Yeah. I remember somebody tellin' me that a gray Dark chao would be comin' in, solvin' mysteries. This guy told me to give you what's in the file.
SShade: "Guy?"
Mort: I can't remember him very well. He was in a disguise, and followed by two bodyguards.
Zagu: Enough talking! Let's see that file thingy!
Mort: Fine, fine. Here.
The G-A Project, part three (File #1191212-38115)
The creator of the G-A Project, Knuckles the Echidna, was sued days before the project was terminated. The lawsuit was filed by an indy group named, "The Omochao Association." According to the report, the suit was filed because it was a crime against the Chao. Knuckles lost the case, and so, the project was terminated.
SShade: So... Mort.... you got this project terminated?
Mort: What? Heck, no! I was given that file by the guy who came in!
Chy: Professor, if the guy who gave Mort that file wanted him to SHOW you it...
SShade: It's probably fake. And, stop calling me, "Professor!"
[suddenly, some mysterious people grab the chao, and knock them out]
MYSTERY: Escape Route 101
[the chao wake up in a dark dungeon somewhere]
Zagu: Ow.... man, what did I do this time?
[Zagu notices that he's the only one conscious]
Zagu: .....Chaosky? ...Professor? Hello?
[they don't wake up; they're really out]
Zagu: *sigh* Aw, crap.
[Zagu tries to go to sleep, until a door opens in the room]
[he pretends to be asleep, and can 'feel' a shadow watching over him]
[the person at the door grabs something, detatches it from something, then tosses it]
[a melon falls next to Zagu]
[the door closes]
[the other two wake up just as the door closes]
SShade: Urgh..... where are we?
Zagu: I don't know, but we've got grub. *grabs melon*
Chy: Weird. It's dark green. And.... it's missing the stem.
SShade: ........give me that fruit. NOW.
[SShade snatches it, takes a close look at it, then scans her surroundings for a window, or an opening, or anywhere]
[there is a mouse hole, a locked door, and a window with bars on it]
SShade: Quick! What's in the mouse hole?
Chy: Um.... I think it's some sort of knife.
SShade: Give it. Now.
[SShade gets the knife! Dah-duh-duh-duh-DAAAAAAH!!!]
SShade: Okay, um... um..... crap. What should I do now?
Zagu: What the heck is the rush, Prof?
SShade: No time to explain! Gotta hurry!
Time for you to help Professor Shade do..... whatever it is she's doing. And I'm not helping this time, either.
JOURNAL (Chapter 6)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? UNSOLVED
Gadgets: PLAYER TRACKER (keeps track of players) {Knuckles is in the Dark Garden}
SCAN-O-MOTRON (scans for invisible things) {smoke coming from melon-- slight smoke}
Characters: Shade (Female)- The detective in this case.
Chaosky (Male, Third-Party)- Shade's partner in this case.
Zagu (Male, Third-Party)- Shade's other partner in this case.
Mysterious Stranger (Male, Unknwon)- Gave Mort possibly fake file, possibly kidnapped the detectives.
A Bonus Story by DJay32
JOURNAL (Chapter 5)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? UNSOLVED
Gadgets: PLAYER TRACKER (keeps track of players) {Knuckles is in the Hero Garden}
SCAN-O-MOTRON (scans for invisible things) {loose bricks somewhere in this room}
Characters: Chaosky (Male, Third-Party)- The detective in this case.
Zagu (Male, Third-Party)- Chaosky's partner in this case.
Shade (Female)- Regular detective, taking a break.
Omochao (Male)- Claims there's an Omochao Association in Room 124.
Punchinello Kawizzyworth (Male)- Claims there is not an Omochao Association in Room 124.
Receptionist (Female)- Gave information about mystery.
Chapter 6: Shade-on Rocks On.
[cut to inside the hidden room place]
Chy: Oh, boy.... this is tough.
Zagu: C'mon! We've got to think of something!
Chy: Hmmm..... what would the Professor do?
Zagu: I dunno. She'd probably look at the painting, then look at the receptionist, then look at the walls, and have a little fun.
Chy: Yeah. Then snap, and say,
What the Professor Would Say the Conclusion is (Wilted Rose)
The Receptionist is the biggest clue here. She's just standing there. Yet, she knows so much. Obviously, she should know pretty much everything going on here.
Chy: ......I don't know. That's my best impression of her.
Zagu: You were pretty good.
Chy: Hey, maybe the exit's behind the painting?
Zagu: Yeah, maybe. Let's check.
[it is]
Both: ..........oh.
Rec: Enjoy your visit to the Omochao Association.
[the other exit, leading to the Principal's Office, opens, and SShade walks in]
SShade: Chaosky? Zagu? Are you two there?
Zagu: We're here. We're just about to enter the Omochao Association.
SShade: You figured out a vague puzzle all by yourself?
Chy: It wasn't that hard. All ya had to do was check behind the painting.
SShade: Well, I've calmed down now. And... I've decided that I started this insane thing. May as well continue our detective agency.
Zagu: That's the spirit, Professor!
SShade: Stop calling me that.
[they open the door or whatever, and find themselves in a dark room]
[a random person is standing there]
Person: Welcome. Welcome. Welcome.
SShade: Hello, hello, hello.
Person: This is the Omochao Association. I'm Niles. Or.... maybe I'm Jeff. Or Steve. Or John. Or Timmy. Or Billy. Or Bobby. Or Ted. Or Homer. Or Charles. Or--
Zagu: Okay, we get it.
Person: Are you here to be acquainted? ....to a job as an Omochao?
SShade: I'm afraid not, sir.
Person: Then..... what is your purpose for entering?
SShade: I wish to learn about the Omochao Association.
Person: Oh. Well, the name's Mort. Here, lemme tell ya what we do.
What We Do (The Omochao Association)
We here at the Omochao Association, or just Mary and I-- Mary's the Receptionist. Well, Mary and I noticed that too many people play video games without knowing what they're doing. So, we decided to be living encyclopedias for such people. However, we couldn't tell EVERYBODY in the world stuff while they're playing; that's too many people. And there was no point getting humans to join. For one thing, they wouldn't want to. So, we found these chao things, and set up a little place here, hiring them to teach people stuff.
Mort: That's essentially it.
SShade: Oh.
Chy: So, we went through all that just to learn THAT?
Mort: I do believe that we also have a file for you, about a certain project.
SShade: The G-A Project?
Mort: Yeah. I remember somebody tellin' me that a gray Dark chao would be comin' in, solvin' mysteries. This guy told me to give you what's in the file.
SShade: "Guy?"
Mort: I can't remember him very well. He was in a disguise, and followed by two bodyguards.
Zagu: Enough talking! Let's see that file thingy!
Mort: Fine, fine. Here.
The G-A Project, part three (File #1191212-38115)
The creator of the G-A Project, Knuckles the Echidna, was sued days before the project was terminated. The lawsuit was filed by an indy group named, "The Omochao Association." According to the report, the suit was filed because it was a crime against the Chao. Knuckles lost the case, and so, the project was terminated.
SShade: So... Mort.... you got this project terminated?
Mort: What? Heck, no! I was given that file by the guy who came in!
Chy: Professor, if the guy who gave Mort that file wanted him to SHOW you it...
SShade: It's probably fake. And, stop calling me, "Professor!"
[suddenly, some mysterious people grab the chao, and knock them out]
MYSTERY: Escape Route 101
[the chao wake up in a dark dungeon somewhere]
Zagu: Ow.... man, what did I do this time?
[Zagu notices that he's the only one conscious]
Zagu: .....Chaosky? ...Professor? Hello?
[they don't wake up; they're really out]
Zagu: *sigh* Aw, crap.
[Zagu tries to go to sleep, until a door opens in the room]
[he pretends to be asleep, and can 'feel' a shadow watching over him]
[the person at the door grabs something, detatches it from something, then tosses it]
[a melon falls next to Zagu]
[the door closes]
[the other two wake up just as the door closes]
SShade: Urgh..... where are we?
Zagu: I don't know, but we've got grub. *grabs melon*
Chy: Weird. It's dark green. And.... it's missing the stem.
SShade: ........give me that fruit. NOW.
[SShade snatches it, takes a close look at it, then scans her surroundings for a window, or an opening, or anywhere]
[there is a mouse hole, a locked door, and a window with bars on it]
SShade: Quick! What's in the mouse hole?
Chy: Um.... I think it's some sort of knife.
SShade: Give it. Now.
[SShade gets the knife! Dah-duh-duh-duh-DAAAAAAH!!!]
SShade: Okay, um... um..... crap. What should I do now?
Zagu: What the heck is the rush, Prof?
SShade: No time to explain! Gotta hurry!
Time for you to help Professor Shade do..... whatever it is she's doing. And I'm not helping this time, either.
JOURNAL (Chapter 6)
- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED
- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED
- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED
- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED
- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED
- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED
- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED
- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? UNSOLVED
Gadgets: PLAYER TRACKER (keeps track of players) {Knuckles is in the Dark Garden}
SCAN-O-MOTRON (scans for invisible things) {smoke coming from melon-- slight smoke}
Characters: Shade (Female)- The detective in this case.
Chaosky (Male, Third-Party)- Shade's partner in this case.
Zagu (Male, Third-Party)- Shade's other partner in this case.
Mysterious Stranger (Male, Unknwon)- Gave Mort possibly fake file, possibly kidnapped the detectives.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Boy, it's been a while, huh?
"So, how are things?" I'll tell you how things are. Things are GREAT!
My life is wonderful right now. Rock Band 2 is awesome. Really. Gears 2 has never been awesomer. Still, Guns of War won't be made for a while. Trust me. I still haven't played it enough yet. Third time's the charm, though, right?
I got the SPECIAL, "Last Stand Edition" of the Gears of War 2 Strategy Guide. It rocks. It comes with a one-in-46,000-of-a-kind, 8X10, signed by the author lithograph (picture or something) of a character. ...his name's Skorge. It is one AWESOME picture, though. I'mma try to get it framed. I've already worked out who will play Skorge in Gears 2, and I know exactly WHY, as well. I dunno if Mecha will be in there or not, nor the Tails Doll. Well.... Mecha might.
Also, Christmas is comin' up awfully quick now, ain't it? I'm hopin' to get a number of things, come December 25th. Who knows? I might even spread the joy by releasing some kind of special then. I haven't made a REAL Christmas special yet.
One more thing-- if you haven't yet, GET GEARS 2, and if not yet, GEARS 1 AS WELL! Both games are REALLY awesome! And, if you can, GET THE LIMITED EDITIONS FOR BOTH OF THEM! I got the first's limited edition for twenty dollars less than the actual game cost. ...it was used. Still, it rocks. A super-special tin, a book of art, a special DVD about the game, and it just looks so cool! Apparently, the second's limited edition has an even better book, a DVD, a tin, and is just as good!
Let's see, what else is there to say now? ....nothing at all. See ya later!
My life is wonderful right now. Rock Band 2 is awesome. Really. Gears 2 has never been awesomer. Still, Guns of War won't be made for a while. Trust me. I still haven't played it enough yet. Third time's the charm, though, right?
I got the SPECIAL, "Last Stand Edition" of the Gears of War 2 Strategy Guide. It rocks. It comes with a one-in-46,000-of-a-kind, 8X10, signed by the author lithograph (picture or something) of a character. ...his name's Skorge. It is one AWESOME picture, though. I'mma try to get it framed. I've already worked out who will play Skorge in Gears 2, and I know exactly WHY, as well. I dunno if Mecha will be in there or not, nor the Tails Doll. Well.... Mecha might.
Also, Christmas is comin' up awfully quick now, ain't it? I'm hopin' to get a number of things, come December 25th. Who knows? I might even spread the joy by releasing some kind of special then. I haven't made a REAL Christmas special yet.
One more thing-- if you haven't yet, GET GEARS 2, and if not yet, GEARS 1 AS WELL! Both games are REALLY awesome! And, if you can, GET THE LIMITED EDITIONS FOR BOTH OF THEM! I got the first's limited edition for twenty dollars less than the actual game cost. ...it was used. Still, it rocks. A super-special tin, a book of art, a special DVD about the game, and it just looks so cool! Apparently, the second's limited edition has an even better book, a DVD, a tin, and is just as good!
Let's see, what else is there to say now? ....nothing at all. See ya later!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Well, I got and beat Gears of War 2, SO....
Guns of War
Hell yeah, baby! The Cole Train's back in business! Ya can't stop the train, baby!
*ahem* Sorry. Gears of War 2 is a great game. Truly amazing. However, maybe it's because I haven't played it enough yet, but it doesn't feel as CLASSIC as the original. ...yeah, it's because I haven't played it enough yet. Wait 'til I'm REALLY used to the huge bosses.
So, Guns of War will be coming to a computer near you VERY not incredibly soon. This time, once I've made it, I've made it, so there is no release date. But, I'm thinking Christmas. Maybe. ...yeah, I may as well do that.
Okay, new production update!
Guns of War will be coming to a computer near you on December 25, 2008.
Of course, DCA08 will be completed before then, too. Hopefully. If not, I'll simply rename it DCA09, and I'll be in the clear. 2008's already got enough epic scripts. It only has room for one more, and Gears of War 2 was here--- well..... second.
Some things to look forward to about Guns of War--
- 5 EPIC Acts, each with around 6 EPIC chapters! Except the fifth, which will only have 5!
- NEW locations! Including a forest, underground, an abandoned facility, a mountain, an underground lake, and some unbelievable things.
- NEW enemies! Trust me, there'll be enough n00bs for everyone.
- Our good ol' Delta Squad, and Command! Shade, Dark, Chao, and Cham return for another round, with Eggman providing their intel!
- Even more EPIC speeches by the mysterious voice! Except this time, you'll learn who the voice IS!
- EMOTIONAL STORY! Well, more like a little side-story. Still, it's interesting.
- NO COMMERCIALS! Completely ad-free.
- There were some parts of Gears 2 I will be changing, just like with the first. But, this time, I only have ONE PARTICULAR part in mind. For those who have played it, I'll say Act 2, Chapter 6. You know the one I mean. *shudder* Hate stuff like that...
- I might throw in some bonus stuff, since this one is without the first random tale, and the epic song at the end where Cole raps. So, I'll just toss some bonuses in there.
- THEY WILL SING SOME MORE. Of course.
- For those who HAVE played Gears 2, you should know by now just how epic and great it is. Epic Games is very good at making..... well, EPIC GAMES.
- IT'S LONGER THAN THE FIRST ONE. Or, it SHOULD be.
- Y'know what? Maybe Christmas is too soon.
Guns of War might not come out December 25, 2008. I mean, I still haven't played the game enough to get it to 'click' into my mind, you know?
I mean, with Gears n' Roses, I made it so great because I truly loved Gears of War. I was a true fan of that game. It was so dramatic... so awesome. Gears 2 is just as dramatic and awesome, if not more so, but the first time I played it (today and yesterday), I just "breezed through." I haven't gotten a chance to just.... PLAY it. Just walk through it, and pretend it's a movie. ....a 10-hour long movie.
So, that's it for this installment of "Guns of War PRODUCTION UPDATE!" ....heh..... "GoWPU." "Go poo."
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Chao In Space 3 part one: One if by Telly, Two if by Bathtub
(NOTE: This episode is somewhat controversial. It touches upon some things not meant to be touched upon. But, remember this-- everybody's just joking around. Any references to real things are only put there to help you realize how the chao feel about things. DON'T TAKE OFFENSE, PLEASE.)
LAST TIME, ON DCA!
Chao: I, the great Hero chao, Chao, won the elections. I am now the king of ALL Gardens!
Shade: I, the even cooler Dark chao, Shade, am in a sucky position. The Heroes are freeloading.
Dark: I, the cool Dark chao, Dark, am sad that the Heroes moved into the Dark Garden and stole my candy.
Cham: I, the only REAL Neutral chao, Cham, am alone in the Neutral Garden.
Chao: Since I am now the KING, I can make my own laws, taxes, and whatnot!
Shade: Chao's first law? Hero chao can do WHATEVER they want. Sleep WHEREVER they want. Not a good idea.
Cham: I fear that something terrible is going to happen soon....
All: War.
[the Invader Zim theme plays; for those who don't know that song, then the Dark Garden theme plays]
Dark Chao Adventures Episode 52: Chao In Space 3 part one: One if by Telly, Two if by Bathtub
*DCA Remastered! This official certifimicate of own shows that this episode can have five chapters, and feature Rebel Chao, Cyber Chao, and all that stuff without being a reference to Betas. That is all.*
[our story begins in the Dark Garden; the Hero chao are partying their little butts off]
[cut to Shade under a blanket, holding a pillow over his head]
[.....also, it's midnight]
Shade: Grrrr....
[a glass smashes]
Shade: That is IT! It's about time I did something about this....
Chapter 1: The SMAAAAAAASH Heard 'Round the World
[it's morning in the Dark Garden; Shade gets up to find a bunch of Hero chao in costumes]
Shade: Argh... what now?
Tail: We're having a costume party.
Shade: I see. Mind if I take a close look at your costume?
Tail: Not at all.
[pause]
[SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!]
[tons of birds fly; horses neigh]
[cut to Chao, meditating behind the fountain in the Hero Garden; he hears the "SMAAAAAAAAASH!!!" and gets up]
Chao: That... does not sound good.
[Chao runs down the stairs into the Lobby, and sees tons of chao outside the Dark Garden]
Chao: What is going on?
Speedy: Dude, I heard Shade became a Were-hog, and started killing people.
Knuckle: No, you idiot! He just smacked Tail on the head.
Chao: What?! Shade performed a violent act against a Hero chao?
Knuckle: That's right. How horrid! A Dark chao.... touching a HERO chao? How unheard of! I SPIT at the thought!
Chao: It truly is a terrible thing.
[Tail runs out of the Dark Garden; the Dark Gates slam shut]
Chao: Tail! Are you alright?
Tail: *sniff* ....Shade.... struck me.
Chao: You'll be fine, Tail. However, Shade will NOT.
Knuckle: What are you gonna do?
Chao: WE are going to establish some LAWS around here.
Knuckle: L...laws?!
Chao: Yes. It is about time we Heroes began putting our feet down!
[cut to later, in the Dark Garden; all the Darks are gathered around Shade, praising him]
Red: That was a really bold act, Shade. But... I think you did the right thing.
SShade: I'm gonna agree with Red on this one. You brought some righteousness to this bleak world.
Dark: FIGHT THE POWER!!! THE HERO POWER!!!
Shawn: It was righteous, all right.
[everyone looks at the gate; Shawn is there]
Shade: How did you get in here?
Shawn: I built that gate. Trust me... I know its secrets. Anyway, we have bigger problems right now.
[Shawn is clutching a paper, steps forward, and quietly hands it to Shade]
[Shade unfolds it, and reads it]
SShade: Shade... what's wrong?
Shade: It........ Chao.... he...........
[Shade gives the paper to Red]
[Red starts reading the paper aloud, with anger and sadness]
"Attention, Dark chao.
We are now putting into effect a series of laws that will put you in your place.
From now on, all Dark chao must use seperate restrooms than Hero chao.
Albeit, we do not USE restrooms, but... I digress.
Darks and Heroes are no longer allowed to eat together.
Darks shall never disrespect Heroes in any way.
Basically, we SHALL NEVER BE A PART OF EACH OTHER EVER AGAIN.
More laws will be made as necessary.
These will be titled the 'Jim Chao Laws,' in honor of the first ever Hero chao, Jim Chao.
Kingingly yours,
Chao.
PS: But.... we're cool, right?"
[Red crumples it up, and tosses it at the ground]
SShade: They can't do this to us! It's.... it seems very side-ist!
Shade: You're right. I won't stand for this sideism! Favoring one side over another is fine, but stopping sides from EATING together?
Dark: FIGHT THE POWER!!! THE HERO POWER!!!
Shade: Chao has crossed the line. Dark, give me my typewriter.
Dark: Sir, yes, SIR!
[Dark gets Shade his typewriter; Shade types a letter; Shawn delivers it to Chao]
Chao: What the? ..."This means war!"......hmm....
Chapter 2: The Conflict in CPAK
[later that week, the chao go back to school]
[their school is named, "Chao Pre-school And Kindergarten," or CPAK]
[it's time for class; their teacher is Miles "Tails" Prower, whom they call "Mister Prower"]
Tails: Okay, class, please take your seats. It sure has been a while since I last saw you. What happened?
Shade: We were on a life-threatening journey. Let's not talk about it.
Tails: Well, it's time for our first lesson, anyway. Today, we're gonna talk about--....
[Tails stares at the class; the chao have segregated themselves: Darks on one side, Heroes on the other; Neutrals in the center]
Tails: Is... there any reason you kids are seated like that?
Dark: Chao doesn't want us sitting next to him. He's a meanie!
Tails: Chao, is this true?
Chao: It is true that I do not want them seated near me, HOWEVER, the Darks are the "meanies."
Tails: Hmmmm.... I believe it's time for a DEBATE!
Shade: A debate?
Tails: Yes, a debate! Okay, let's start with Chao. Chao, tell us your side of the story.
Chao: With pleasure.
Earlier, we had presidential elections for the King of the Gardens. I won by a landslide. So, I started giving the Heroes the same priviliges the Darks had. Of course, Shade got too spoiled and whiny about that, so he beat Tail up. I decided to punish Shade by restricting the Darks of their priviliges. Then, he declared a war.
Tails: ....Mmmhmm.... and Shade?
Shade: He's stretching the truth, Mister Prower! Here, let me tell you the REAL story.
So a few days ago, I decided it'd be cool for us to have some democracy in our Gardens. So then Chao got all competitive and decided to start bending the rules a little bit, making it so he'd win! So now he's the self-proclaimed "king" of all the Gardens. He made it so that the Heroes could freeload all they wanted, and keep me up until late at night. The next day, I had an outburst, and smacked Tail. Chao acted very irrational, and used his "powers" to make it so we couldn't disrespect them or eat with them, or ANYTHING like that without getting in trouble. So, I declared war.
Tails: ......I see. Well, it seems to me that Chao, you let these powers get to your head.
Chao: How dare you! I am the KING OF THE GARDENS! These are no mere "powers...."
Tails: Chao, calm down, please.
Chao: ENOUGH! Knuckle, Hero... escort Tail and I out of this place.
[they do]
Aqua: .......hey, wait for me!
[Aqua dashes out of the room]
Tails: Oh, dear... it seems I've lost control of them. It's up to you Darks to get them under control.
Dark: Does this mean we get today off?
Tails: .....yes.
Dark: I'm in!
[cut to the main lobby of CPAK; the Darks see Knuckle and Aqua are guarding the exit]
Shade: Let us out, you two! We have a score to settle with the "king!"
Knuckle: Uh, I'm not so sure about that. What do YOU think, Aqua?
[Aqua gives them a thumbs-down]
Knuckle: Of course.... you WOULD expect such stupidity from a bunch of DARKS.
Dark: YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU BIG BULLY!
Knuckle: Make me!
Dark: THAT'S IT!
[Dark pounces at Knuckle and starts punching him]
Shade: Dark, save your energy for Chao.
Dark: But.... but he's being sideist!
Shade: He's a Hero chao. Of COURSE he's being sideist.
Dark: *sniff* ....all right. I'll.... I'll save my energy. .....LET'S ROCK!!!
[they leave CPAK, and head for the Hero Garden]
[the screen turns sepia and pauses; the camera zooms out to reveal it is a picture in a history book]
Shade (Voice-Over [You don't see him]): Dark's actions that day would later come back to bite us in the blubber.
[Shade's hand is seen reaching for the next page]
Shade VO: Chao made that event known as "The Conflict of CPAK." Now, let me tell you about...
[Shade turns the page; the camera zooms in; the screen becomes normal]
Chapter 3: "The Hero Garden Massacre"
[they approach the Hero Gates; some Hero chao see them and run to Chao, telling him something]
[Chao shouts, "FREELANCERS!"]
[a group of chao come to the gate-- the Freelance Chao]
?: See, now why couldn't you have called us Freelance Chao earlier? Why were we always THIRD-PARTY?
Chao: Because DJay didn't come up with that name until three-quarters into DCRPG.
[the Freelance Chao, formerly Third-Party chao, are as follows]
[Dark-Hawk the Dark chao wizard, Quartz the Neutral Chaos chao punching bag nobody cares about, Phantom the Dark chao who has no legs, Chaosky the Hero Chaos chao wanderer, Shadow Bonic the Neutral Chaos chao, and maybe some others every now and then]
SBonic: That was a rather long sentence.
Chaosky: Run on!
Shade: Dark-Hawk, what are you doing over there? And Phantom?
Ph: I am a loyal follower of Chao.
Chao: No, you're not. Get out. Both of you.
DH: Okay....
[Dark-Hawk and Phantom are kicked out]
Ph: Chao, you lying scumbag! Your reign of terror will soon end!
Chao: "Scumbag?!"
Chaosky: That's it, you Darks! You're outta control. *shotgun equip*
DH: WHAT THE FU--
[BLAST!!!!]
[the screen turns sepia and pauses; the camera zooms out to reveal it is a picture in a history book]
Shade VO: Dark-Hawk and Phantom's little back-talk there made sure the Heroes didn't cut us any slack.
[Shade's hand is seen reaching for the next page]
Shade VO: Since Chaosky was a Hero, the Heroes let his actions slide and claimed we had an outrage, so he had to 'calm us down.' Henceforth, "The Hero Garden Massacre."
[Shade turns the page; the camera zooms in; the screen becomes normal]
[cut to everybody in the Dark Garden]
Shade: I just... I just don't get it. How come Chao is such a butt-head?
Red: Because, like Mister Prower said, he's letting this power get to his head.
SShade: Yeah, so technically, all this is YOUR fault, Shade.
Shade: Hey, I only did those elections because Mephiles came to me all whiny about being bored! ...hey!
Red: What?
Shade: I think I know what I'm supposed to do to stop Chao!
Red: .................and that IS?
Shade: Mephiles gave me the oppurtunity to do the elections. Now... he's gonna give me the oppurtunity to stop him.
Dark: lolwut? And how does the logic call for that?
Shade: Dark. You don't even know what logic IS.
Dark: I do TOO! It's.... something to do with a lodge, right?
[Shade groans; cut to the rip in time and space beyond the planet of pure dooky, or the Space/Time Rip, or the STR]
[Mephiles is there, playing games on a floating computer]
[Shade walks in]
Shade: Mephiles.
Mp: WHOA!!! *covers screen* Hey, uh... how ya doin'?
Shade: Wait, what is that?
Mp: It's nothing.
Shade: Is that... Zoombinis, the math game?
Mp: Shut up.
Shade: Dude, that's an awesome game.
Mp: Shut u--really? You think it's awesome? Well.... so do I! Okay. So, what do you want?
Shade: I want to impeach Chao.
[cut to the Hero Garden, once more; Shawn approaches Chao, and gives him a letter]
Chao: .....what?! "Impeach!?" This is blasphemy! This is MADNESS!
Shade: Madness?
[dramatic silence as Chao glares at Shade, standing by the gates]
[Shade glares back; dramatic camera angles; Shawn looks at both of them]
Shade: THIS. IS. WAR!!!
Shawn: ...what? Are you sure that... fits? Sure it's not something else? Something with TWO syllables?
Shade: I'm sure. This is war.
Chao: Are you certain you don't mean, "This is battle?" Or "This is melee?" Or... "This is sparta?"
Shade: Well, 'sparta' would be copying, but those other two have terrible grammar.
Chao: Anyway, I see your point. So, you wish to impeach me, do you? Let me see you try.
Chapter 4: I Fought the Law and.... the Law Kicked My Butt
[cut to Shade in jail]
[some kind of jail behind the waterfall in the Neutral Garden]
Shade: *sigh* Freaking Chao. He's so....... annoying.
[he is being guarded by Speedy]
Shade: Speedy, why are YOU my guard? You're not even a Hero.
Speedy: I needed SOMETHING to do. Things are awfully boring around here ever since Chao became such a jerk.
Shade: Makes me wanna read Tacquila Mockingbird.
Speedy: To Kill a Mockingbird.
Shade: What did I say?
Speedy: "Tacquila."
Shade: *chuckle*
Speedy: Say... why didn't Mephiles help you impeach Chao?
Shade: Eh, he was too busy playing Zoombinis.
Speedy: Oh. ...I like that game.
Shade: I know, right?
Speedy: I mean, if I wasn't stuck here, guarding YOU, I'd be playing it right now.
Shade: Really?
Speedy: Yeah.
Shade: How?
Speedy: Mister Prower's got these new computers into our classroom, and he's letting good chao play it.
Shade: Hmm.... I've got another idea! Speedy, you don't suppose you could let me out?
Speedy: .......................sure, go ahead.
[Speedy lets Shade out; he runs to CPAK]
Chapter 4.5: The Masquerade of Mister Prower
[cut to Shade in Room 123, Tails' room; Tails is doing an assignment on the internet]
Tails: Oh, good, you're here. Do you know a word that rhymes with "masquerade?"
Shade: Uh.... how about "mast--".......
Tails: What? How about WHAT?
Shade: ....never mind. I need some sort of camera that can broadcast me all over the gardens.
Tails: Oh, that? It's in the utility closet. Go on.
[cut to the Heroes relaxing in the Hero Garden]
[a large hologram of Shade appears, as well as in the other two gardens]
Shade: Attention, everyone.
Chao: What the...? Tail! Does he have the proper permits for use of that camera?
Tail: I don't know!
Shade: As of recently, our king, Chao, has been a jerk. A big, chubby jerk!
Chao: "Chubby?!"
Shade: I say we end this! I say we fight back! I say.... we IMPEACH HIM!
Chao: Knuckle, Chaosky!
Knuckle: We're on it, boss.
[Chaosky grabs his shotgun; they head for CPAK]
Shade: If you agree with me, then please come to the Hero Garden, and help me take him down. Shade, out.
[the hologram ends; cut to CPAK's utility closet]
Chapter 4.9: Shaded Edge of a Mirror
[the following scene is completely in first-person, from Shade's point of view]
Shade: I'd better ske-daddle before the Heroes come.
[he exits the utility closet, revealing it to be the Black Market locker; he looks out the window and sees Knuckle and Chaosky approaching]
Shade: Uh-oh!
[Shade runs into the Black Market, and searches the shelves for something; he finds a grenade]
[he runs back out, and bangs on the window; Knuckle and Chaosky spot him; Chaosky points his shotgun at the window]
Shade: HEY! OVER HERE, MYRMIDONTS!
[chhhk-chhk-- BOOM! Shade dives to the side as Chaosky fires; the window is blasted open]
[a few seconds pass; Shade hops up and tosses the grenade]
[BOOM!]
[strangely, it was only a smoke grenade; Shade curses that, and runs out into the smoke]
Knuckle: He's out here! I heard the door open!
Chaosky: Find him! FIND HIM!
[Shade runs forward as fast as he could, and bumps into Knuckle, who stares at him]
[Shade pauses in fear, but Knuckle stays silent]
Knuckle: ......I think he ran back into the building.
Chaosky: I've got him!
[Chaosky is heard running into CPAK; Knuckle looks back at Shade, and gestures for him to run][Shade nods, turns, and runs]
[the screen turns sepia, zooms out, and becomes a book]
Shade VO: I had assumed that a mere hologram would END everything. Believe me... it didn't.
[Shade reaches for the next page]
Shade VO: Chao was stopped, indeed, as you will see. But, that was only the beginning.
[Shade turns the page]
Shade VO: This next chapter, my friends, is....
Chapter 5: The Day Everything Went Wrong
[the camera zooms in on a picture of Shade approaching an angry mob by the Hero Garden; it becomes normal]
Shade: Hey, what's going on?
Shawn: It turns out Chao has been a jerk. A big, chubby jerk. Thanks for letting us know.
Cham: Yeah, we're all out here to throw him out of control!
Shade: You mean.... one of my crazy plans thought up on the spot actually WORKED?! Hawt dayum!
[the angry mob charges into the Hero Garden, and comes out carrying Chao]
Chao: But.... what will become of our great monarchy?
[the mob chants, "Shade! Shade! Shade!"]
Shade+Chao: WHAT?!
Shade: Me? Rule the three Gardens? I.... I don't know what to say, except..... sure.
[CHEER!!!]
[cut to the next day; things are great and peaceful in the Dark Garden]
Dark: Man, Shade, life in the Dark Garden has never been better!
Shade: Yep. I sure do love things now. Chao was too.... pushy.
[dot dot dot SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!]
All: WHAT THE FRAY?!
[smoke fills the garden; minutes later, once the smoke clears, it turns out that someone has vandalized the Dark Garden!]
[tons of graffiti cover the walls and gravestones and the tree; the water is oily and thick; stuff like that]
Red: Damn.
[cut to Shade on a hologram again]
Shade: Okay, um.... attention, please? Yes. Um.... is this on? Testing.
Red: It's on.
Shade: Good. Good. Well, it appears that someone has vandalized our Garden today, on the Tenth of December.
Red: It's the tenth of December?
Shade: ....whatever. Yeah. Check a calendar. BUT, you may be thinking I'm gonna be cruel now, like Chao was.
Red: You'd better not.
Shade: No. I'm not Chao. Instead of punishing everyone, I'm gonna let you do whatever you want. No rules.
Red: ....WHAT?!
Shade: However, there is ONE rule. Look for the Ten/Twelve culprit.
Red: "Ten/Twelve?" What, do we live in Europe now? Shouldn't it be "Twelve/Ten?"
Shade: Well, I prefer the European system, okay? Anyway, look for the culprit while you do whatever you want. And, uh... have fun.
[the hologram ends; cut to the Dark Garden]
Shade: There. We'll find the culprit in no time.
Red: Shade, you are one helluvan idiot.
Shade: And how am I an idiot?
Red: You'll see soon enough if you don't call off this ridiculous law!
Shade: No way! We're finding the culprit! I have reason to believe that Chao has the weapons of mass disrespect.
Red: Chao does NOT have WMDs.
Shade: Yes, he does! And I'm shipping EVERYONE here off to the Hero Garden to fight!
SShade: Shade, listen.... I understand that this is very hard for you, but... don't risk everyone's lives for your home.
Shade: But.... but they ruined our Garden!
SShade: Shade, please. Call off the law.
Shade: Grrrrr..... FINE!
[Shade gets back on the hologram camera thing]
Shade: Hello. Um... I'd like to say that I'm stopping that previous law. The, uh... "anything you want" law.
[Shade is randomly disconnected]
Shade: Dubbyuh Tee Eff? Dark, check out what's wrong.
Dark: Yessir!
[Dark runs out of the garden; he comes back in quickly]
Dark: It's been disconnected by some people.
Shade: ....elaborate.
Dark: Uh... no.
Shade: What? Why not?!
Dark: I don't know what that means.
Shade: *sigh* Just tell me more about the disconnection.
Dark: OH! Well, these guys are taking all the wires from everywhere, and moving them into the Neutral Garden.
Shade: WHY?!
Dark: They said they're doing whatever they want.
[Shade takes a look outside, and sees everything in chaos-- chao running around, shooting at each other, and making forts and such]
Shade: OH.......... CRAP.
TO BE CONTINTENTINUED!
All: See you next time!
Shade: Bring snacks!
Red: I think this one went pretty well, don't you?
Chao: I... yeah. Yes, I found it rather fun.
Shade: Not me. Although, that Mirror's Edge parody part was awesome.
Chaosky: Yeah. Other than the part where Knuckle tricked me. Traitor.
Knuckle: What? So I support Shade, so what?
Shawn: So, what will happen next?
Shade: Next up is episode 53, "Ten/Twelve." It's part two to Chao In Space 3.
Red: This serial has got to be the most controversial we've ever done.
Dark: I agree. I like Contra.
SShade: Seriously, though, I agree with Red. We're probably gonna tick off a few, or a hundred, political stiffs.
Shade: Isn't "stiff" an offensive word, or something?
SShade: I hope not.
Cham: Okay, I think we're about done here. See you next time.
--------------
DCA was created in loving memory of all my chao, excluding the "Freelance/Third-Parties," and "Shawn." The Freelance chao were made by fans, and Shawn is not real. Other than that, though, all the chao in here are 100% real, and 100% dead.
--------------
NEXT TIME ON DCA:
Shade: Dark, Red, we're getting the gang back together.
Dark: Rubber Goose?
Red: I think he means our CRIMEFIGHTING gang. Our unnamed one.
Dark: Yay! Let's restore order to this orderless world! ROCK AND ROLL!!!
LAST TIME, ON DCA!
Chao: I, the great Hero chao, Chao, won the elections. I am now the king of ALL Gardens!
Shade: I, the even cooler Dark chao, Shade, am in a sucky position. The Heroes are freeloading.
Dark: I, the cool Dark chao, Dark, am sad that the Heroes moved into the Dark Garden and stole my candy.
Cham: I, the only REAL Neutral chao, Cham, am alone in the Neutral Garden.
Chao: Since I am now the KING, I can make my own laws, taxes, and whatnot!
Shade: Chao's first law? Hero chao can do WHATEVER they want. Sleep WHEREVER they want. Not a good idea.
Cham: I fear that something terrible is going to happen soon....
All: War.
[the Invader Zim theme plays; for those who don't know that song, then the Dark Garden theme plays]
Dark Chao Adventures Episode 52: Chao In Space 3 part one: One if by Telly, Two if by Bathtub
*DCA Remastered! This official certifimicate of own shows that this episode can have five chapters, and feature Rebel Chao, Cyber Chao, and all that stuff without being a reference to Betas. That is all.*
[our story begins in the Dark Garden; the Hero chao are partying their little butts off]
[cut to Shade under a blanket, holding a pillow over his head]
[.....also, it's midnight]
Shade: Grrrr....
[a glass smashes]
Shade: That is IT! It's about time I did something about this....
Chapter 1: The SMAAAAAAASH Heard 'Round the World
[it's morning in the Dark Garden; Shade gets up to find a bunch of Hero chao in costumes]
Shade: Argh... what now?
Tail: We're having a costume party.
Shade: I see. Mind if I take a close look at your costume?
Tail: Not at all.
[pause]
[SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!]
[tons of birds fly; horses neigh]
[cut to Chao, meditating behind the fountain in the Hero Garden; he hears the "SMAAAAAAAAASH!!!" and gets up]
Chao: That... does not sound good.
[Chao runs down the stairs into the Lobby, and sees tons of chao outside the Dark Garden]
Chao: What is going on?
Speedy: Dude, I heard Shade became a Were-hog, and started killing people.
Knuckle: No, you idiot! He just smacked Tail on the head.
Chao: What?! Shade performed a violent act against a Hero chao?
Knuckle: That's right. How horrid! A Dark chao.... touching a HERO chao? How unheard of! I SPIT at the thought!
Chao: It truly is a terrible thing.
[Tail runs out of the Dark Garden; the Dark Gates slam shut]
Chao: Tail! Are you alright?
Tail: *sniff* ....Shade.... struck me.
Chao: You'll be fine, Tail. However, Shade will NOT.
Knuckle: What are you gonna do?
Chao: WE are going to establish some LAWS around here.
Knuckle: L...laws?!
Chao: Yes. It is about time we Heroes began putting our feet down!
[cut to later, in the Dark Garden; all the Darks are gathered around Shade, praising him]
Red: That was a really bold act, Shade. But... I think you did the right thing.
SShade: I'm gonna agree with Red on this one. You brought some righteousness to this bleak world.
Dark: FIGHT THE POWER!!! THE HERO POWER!!!
Shawn: It was righteous, all right.
[everyone looks at the gate; Shawn is there]
Shade: How did you get in here?
Shawn: I built that gate. Trust me... I know its secrets. Anyway, we have bigger problems right now.
[Shawn is clutching a paper, steps forward, and quietly hands it to Shade]
[Shade unfolds it, and reads it]
SShade: Shade... what's wrong?
Shade: It........ Chao.... he...........
[Shade gives the paper to Red]
[Red starts reading the paper aloud, with anger and sadness]
"Attention, Dark chao.
We are now putting into effect a series of laws that will put you in your place.
From now on, all Dark chao must use seperate restrooms than Hero chao.
Albeit, we do not USE restrooms, but... I digress.
Darks and Heroes are no longer allowed to eat together.
Darks shall never disrespect Heroes in any way.
Basically, we SHALL NEVER BE A PART OF EACH OTHER EVER AGAIN.
More laws will be made as necessary.
These will be titled the 'Jim Chao Laws,' in honor of the first ever Hero chao, Jim Chao.
Kingingly yours,
Chao.
PS: But.... we're cool, right?"
[Red crumples it up, and tosses it at the ground]
SShade: They can't do this to us! It's.... it seems very side-ist!
Shade: You're right. I won't stand for this sideism! Favoring one side over another is fine, but stopping sides from EATING together?
Dark: FIGHT THE POWER!!! THE HERO POWER!!!
Shade: Chao has crossed the line. Dark, give me my typewriter.
Dark: Sir, yes, SIR!
[Dark gets Shade his typewriter; Shade types a letter; Shawn delivers it to Chao]
Chao: What the? ..."This means war!"......hmm....
Chapter 2: The Conflict in CPAK
[later that week, the chao go back to school]
[their school is named, "Chao Pre-school And Kindergarten," or CPAK]
[it's time for class; their teacher is Miles "Tails" Prower, whom they call "Mister Prower"]
Tails: Okay, class, please take your seats. It sure has been a while since I last saw you. What happened?
Shade: We were on a life-threatening journey. Let's not talk about it.
Tails: Well, it's time for our first lesson, anyway. Today, we're gonna talk about--....
[Tails stares at the class; the chao have segregated themselves: Darks on one side, Heroes on the other; Neutrals in the center]
Tails: Is... there any reason you kids are seated like that?
Dark: Chao doesn't want us sitting next to him. He's a meanie!
Tails: Chao, is this true?
Chao: It is true that I do not want them seated near me, HOWEVER, the Darks are the "meanies."
Tails: Hmmmm.... I believe it's time for a DEBATE!
Shade: A debate?
Tails: Yes, a debate! Okay, let's start with Chao. Chao, tell us your side of the story.
Chao: With pleasure.
Earlier, we had presidential elections for the King of the Gardens. I won by a landslide. So, I started giving the Heroes the same priviliges the Darks had. Of course, Shade got too spoiled and whiny about that, so he beat Tail up. I decided to punish Shade by restricting the Darks of their priviliges. Then, he declared a war.
Tails: ....Mmmhmm.... and Shade?
Shade: He's stretching the truth, Mister Prower! Here, let me tell you the REAL story.
So a few days ago, I decided it'd be cool for us to have some democracy in our Gardens. So then Chao got all competitive and decided to start bending the rules a little bit, making it so he'd win! So now he's the self-proclaimed "king" of all the Gardens. He made it so that the Heroes could freeload all they wanted, and keep me up until late at night. The next day, I had an outburst, and smacked Tail. Chao acted very irrational, and used his "powers" to make it so we couldn't disrespect them or eat with them, or ANYTHING like that without getting in trouble. So, I declared war.
Tails: ......I see. Well, it seems to me that Chao, you let these powers get to your head.
Chao: How dare you! I am the KING OF THE GARDENS! These are no mere "powers...."
Tails: Chao, calm down, please.
Chao: ENOUGH! Knuckle, Hero... escort Tail and I out of this place.
[they do]
Aqua: .......hey, wait for me!
[Aqua dashes out of the room]
Tails: Oh, dear... it seems I've lost control of them. It's up to you Darks to get them under control.
Dark: Does this mean we get today off?
Tails: .....yes.
Dark: I'm in!
[cut to the main lobby of CPAK; the Darks see Knuckle and Aqua are guarding the exit]
Shade: Let us out, you two! We have a score to settle with the "king!"
Knuckle: Uh, I'm not so sure about that. What do YOU think, Aqua?
[Aqua gives them a thumbs-down]
Knuckle: Of course.... you WOULD expect such stupidity from a bunch of DARKS.
Dark: YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU BIG BULLY!
Knuckle: Make me!
Dark: THAT'S IT!
[Dark pounces at Knuckle and starts punching him]
Shade: Dark, save your energy for Chao.
Dark: But.... but he's being sideist!
Shade: He's a Hero chao. Of COURSE he's being sideist.
Dark: *sniff* ....all right. I'll.... I'll save my energy. .....LET'S ROCK!!!
[they leave CPAK, and head for the Hero Garden]
[the screen turns sepia and pauses; the camera zooms out to reveal it is a picture in a history book]
Shade (Voice-Over [You don't see him]): Dark's actions that day would later come back to bite us in the blubber.
[Shade's hand is seen reaching for the next page]
Shade VO: Chao made that event known as "The Conflict of CPAK." Now, let me tell you about...
[Shade turns the page; the camera zooms in; the screen becomes normal]
Chapter 3: "The Hero Garden Massacre"
[they approach the Hero Gates; some Hero chao see them and run to Chao, telling him something]
[Chao shouts, "FREELANCERS!"]
[a group of chao come to the gate-- the Freelance Chao]
?: See, now why couldn't you have called us Freelance Chao earlier? Why were we always THIRD-PARTY?
Chao: Because DJay didn't come up with that name until three-quarters into DCRPG.
[the Freelance Chao, formerly Third-Party chao, are as follows]
[Dark-Hawk the Dark chao wizard, Quartz the Neutral Chaos chao punching bag nobody cares about, Phantom the Dark chao who has no legs, Chaosky the Hero Chaos chao wanderer, Shadow Bonic the Neutral Chaos chao, and maybe some others every now and then]
SBonic: That was a rather long sentence.
Chaosky: Run on!
Shade: Dark-Hawk, what are you doing over there? And Phantom?
Ph: I am a loyal follower of Chao.
Chao: No, you're not. Get out. Both of you.
DH: Okay....
[Dark-Hawk and Phantom are kicked out]
Ph: Chao, you lying scumbag! Your reign of terror will soon end!
Chao: "Scumbag?!"
Chaosky: That's it, you Darks! You're outta control. *shotgun equip*
DH: WHAT THE FU--
[BLAST!!!!]
[the screen turns sepia and pauses; the camera zooms out to reveal it is a picture in a history book]
Shade VO: Dark-Hawk and Phantom's little back-talk there made sure the Heroes didn't cut us any slack.
[Shade's hand is seen reaching for the next page]
Shade VO: Since Chaosky was a Hero, the Heroes let his actions slide and claimed we had an outrage, so he had to 'calm us down.' Henceforth, "The Hero Garden Massacre."
[Shade turns the page; the camera zooms in; the screen becomes normal]
[cut to everybody in the Dark Garden]
Shade: I just... I just don't get it. How come Chao is such a butt-head?
Red: Because, like Mister Prower said, he's letting this power get to his head.
SShade: Yeah, so technically, all this is YOUR fault, Shade.
Shade: Hey, I only did those elections because Mephiles came to me all whiny about being bored! ...hey!
Red: What?
Shade: I think I know what I'm supposed to do to stop Chao!
Red: .................and that IS?
Shade: Mephiles gave me the oppurtunity to do the elections. Now... he's gonna give me the oppurtunity to stop him.
Dark: lolwut? And how does the logic call for that?
Shade: Dark. You don't even know what logic IS.
Dark: I do TOO! It's.... something to do with a lodge, right?
[Shade groans; cut to the rip in time and space beyond the planet of pure dooky, or the Space/Time Rip, or the STR]
[Mephiles is there, playing games on a floating computer]
[Shade walks in]
Shade: Mephiles.
Mp: WHOA!!! *covers screen* Hey, uh... how ya doin'?
Shade: Wait, what is that?
Mp: It's nothing.
Shade: Is that... Zoombinis, the math game?
Mp: Shut up.
Shade: Dude, that's an awesome game.
Mp: Shut u--really? You think it's awesome? Well.... so do I! Okay. So, what do you want?
Shade: I want to impeach Chao.
[cut to the Hero Garden, once more; Shawn approaches Chao, and gives him a letter]
Chao: .....what?! "Impeach!?" This is blasphemy! This is MADNESS!
Shade: Madness?
[dramatic silence as Chao glares at Shade, standing by the gates]
[Shade glares back; dramatic camera angles; Shawn looks at both of them]
Shade: THIS. IS. WAR!!!
Shawn: ...what? Are you sure that... fits? Sure it's not something else? Something with TWO syllables?
Shade: I'm sure. This is war.
Chao: Are you certain you don't mean, "This is battle?" Or "This is melee?" Or... "This is sparta?"
Shade: Well, 'sparta' would be copying, but those other two have terrible grammar.
Chao: Anyway, I see your point. So, you wish to impeach me, do you? Let me see you try.
Chapter 4: I Fought the Law and.... the Law Kicked My Butt
[cut to Shade in jail]
[some kind of jail behind the waterfall in the Neutral Garden]
Shade: *sigh* Freaking Chao. He's so....... annoying.
[he is being guarded by Speedy]
Shade: Speedy, why are YOU my guard? You're not even a Hero.
Speedy: I needed SOMETHING to do. Things are awfully boring around here ever since Chao became such a jerk.
Shade: Makes me wanna read Tacquila Mockingbird.
Speedy: To Kill a Mockingbird.
Shade: What did I say?
Speedy: "Tacquila."
Shade: *chuckle*
Speedy: Say... why didn't Mephiles help you impeach Chao?
Shade: Eh, he was too busy playing Zoombinis.
Speedy: Oh. ...I like that game.
Shade: I know, right?
Speedy: I mean, if I wasn't stuck here, guarding YOU, I'd be playing it right now.
Shade: Really?
Speedy: Yeah.
Shade: How?
Speedy: Mister Prower's got these new computers into our classroom, and he's letting good chao play it.
Shade: Hmm.... I've got another idea! Speedy, you don't suppose you could let me out?
Speedy: .......................sure, go ahead.
[Speedy lets Shade out; he runs to CPAK]
Chapter 4.5: The Masquerade of Mister Prower
[cut to Shade in Room 123, Tails' room; Tails is doing an assignment on the internet]
Tails: Oh, good, you're here. Do you know a word that rhymes with "masquerade?"
Shade: Uh.... how about "mast--".......
Tails: What? How about WHAT?
Shade: ....never mind. I need some sort of camera that can broadcast me all over the gardens.
Tails: Oh, that? It's in the utility closet. Go on.
[cut to the Heroes relaxing in the Hero Garden]
[a large hologram of Shade appears, as well as in the other two gardens]
Shade: Attention, everyone.
Chao: What the...? Tail! Does he have the proper permits for use of that camera?
Tail: I don't know!
Shade: As of recently, our king, Chao, has been a jerk. A big, chubby jerk!
Chao: "Chubby?!"
Shade: I say we end this! I say we fight back! I say.... we IMPEACH HIM!
Chao: Knuckle, Chaosky!
Knuckle: We're on it, boss.
[Chaosky grabs his shotgun; they head for CPAK]
Shade: If you agree with me, then please come to the Hero Garden, and help me take him down. Shade, out.
[the hologram ends; cut to CPAK's utility closet]
Chapter 4.9: Shaded Edge of a Mirror
[the following scene is completely in first-person, from Shade's point of view]
Shade: I'd better ske-daddle before the Heroes come.
[he exits the utility closet, revealing it to be the Black Market locker; he looks out the window and sees Knuckle and Chaosky approaching]
Shade: Uh-oh!
[Shade runs into the Black Market, and searches the shelves for something; he finds a grenade]
[he runs back out, and bangs on the window; Knuckle and Chaosky spot him; Chaosky points his shotgun at the window]
Shade: HEY! OVER HERE, MYRMIDONTS!
[chhhk-chhk-- BOOM! Shade dives to the side as Chaosky fires; the window is blasted open]
[a few seconds pass; Shade hops up and tosses the grenade]
[BOOM!]
[strangely, it was only a smoke grenade; Shade curses that, and runs out into the smoke]
Knuckle: He's out here! I heard the door open!
Chaosky: Find him! FIND HIM!
[Shade runs forward as fast as he could, and bumps into Knuckle, who stares at him]
[Shade pauses in fear, but Knuckle stays silent]
Knuckle: ......I think he ran back into the building.
Chaosky: I've got him!
[Chaosky is heard running into CPAK; Knuckle looks back at Shade, and gestures for him to run][Shade nods, turns, and runs]
[the screen turns sepia, zooms out, and becomes a book]
Shade VO: I had assumed that a mere hologram would END everything. Believe me... it didn't.
[Shade reaches for the next page]
Shade VO: Chao was stopped, indeed, as you will see. But, that was only the beginning.
[Shade turns the page]
Shade VO: This next chapter, my friends, is....
Chapter 5: The Day Everything Went Wrong
[the camera zooms in on a picture of Shade approaching an angry mob by the Hero Garden; it becomes normal]
Shade: Hey, what's going on?
Shawn: It turns out Chao has been a jerk. A big, chubby jerk. Thanks for letting us know.
Cham: Yeah, we're all out here to throw him out of control!
Shade: You mean.... one of my crazy plans thought up on the spot actually WORKED?! Hawt dayum!
[the angry mob charges into the Hero Garden, and comes out carrying Chao]
Chao: But.... what will become of our great monarchy?
[the mob chants, "Shade! Shade! Shade!"]
Shade+Chao: WHAT?!
Shade: Me? Rule the three Gardens? I.... I don't know what to say, except..... sure.
[CHEER!!!]
[cut to the next day; things are great and peaceful in the Dark Garden]
Dark: Man, Shade, life in the Dark Garden has never been better!
Shade: Yep. I sure do love things now. Chao was too.... pushy.
[dot dot dot SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!]
All: WHAT THE FRAY?!
[smoke fills the garden; minutes later, once the smoke clears, it turns out that someone has vandalized the Dark Garden!]
[tons of graffiti cover the walls and gravestones and the tree; the water is oily and thick; stuff like that]
Red: Damn.
[cut to Shade on a hologram again]
Shade: Okay, um.... attention, please? Yes. Um.... is this on? Testing.
Red: It's on.
Shade: Good. Good. Well, it appears that someone has vandalized our Garden today, on the Tenth of December.
Red: It's the tenth of December?
Shade: ....whatever. Yeah. Check a calendar. BUT, you may be thinking I'm gonna be cruel now, like Chao was.
Red: You'd better not.
Shade: No. I'm not Chao. Instead of punishing everyone, I'm gonna let you do whatever you want. No rules.
Red: ....WHAT?!
Shade: However, there is ONE rule. Look for the Ten/Twelve culprit.
Red: "Ten/Twelve?" What, do we live in Europe now? Shouldn't it be "Twelve/Ten?"
Shade: Well, I prefer the European system, okay? Anyway, look for the culprit while you do whatever you want. And, uh... have fun.
[the hologram ends; cut to the Dark Garden]
Shade: There. We'll find the culprit in no time.
Red: Shade, you are one helluvan idiot.
Shade: And how am I an idiot?
Red: You'll see soon enough if you don't call off this ridiculous law!
Shade: No way! We're finding the culprit! I have reason to believe that Chao has the weapons of mass disrespect.
Red: Chao does NOT have WMDs.
Shade: Yes, he does! And I'm shipping EVERYONE here off to the Hero Garden to fight!
SShade: Shade, listen.... I understand that this is very hard for you, but... don't risk everyone's lives for your home.
Shade: But.... but they ruined our Garden!
SShade: Shade, please. Call off the law.
Shade: Grrrrr..... FINE!
[Shade gets back on the hologram camera thing]
Shade: Hello. Um... I'd like to say that I'm stopping that previous law. The, uh... "anything you want" law.
[Shade is randomly disconnected]
Shade: Dubbyuh Tee Eff? Dark, check out what's wrong.
Dark: Yessir!
[Dark runs out of the garden; he comes back in quickly]
Dark: It's been disconnected by some people.
Shade: ....elaborate.
Dark: Uh... no.
Shade: What? Why not?!
Dark: I don't know what that means.
Shade: *sigh* Just tell me more about the disconnection.
Dark: OH! Well, these guys are taking all the wires from everywhere, and moving them into the Neutral Garden.
Shade: WHY?!
Dark: They said they're doing whatever they want.
[Shade takes a look outside, and sees everything in chaos-- chao running around, shooting at each other, and making forts and such]
Shade: OH.......... CRAP.
TO BE CONTINTENTINUED!
All: See you next time!
Shade: Bring snacks!
Red: I think this one went pretty well, don't you?
Chao: I... yeah. Yes, I found it rather fun.
Shade: Not me. Although, that Mirror's Edge parody part was awesome.
Chaosky: Yeah. Other than the part where Knuckle tricked me. Traitor.
Knuckle: What? So I support Shade, so what?
Shawn: So, what will happen next?
Shade: Next up is episode 53, "Ten/Twelve." It's part two to Chao In Space 3.
Red: This serial has got to be the most controversial we've ever done.
Dark: I agree. I like Contra.
SShade: Seriously, though, I agree with Red. We're probably gonna tick off a few, or a hundred, political stiffs.
Shade: Isn't "stiff" an offensive word, or something?
SShade: I hope not.
Cham: Okay, I think we're about done here. See you next time.
--------------
DCA was created in loving memory of all my chao, excluding the "Freelance/Third-Parties," and "Shawn." The Freelance chao were made by fans, and Shawn is not real. Other than that, though, all the chao in here are 100% real, and 100% dead.
--------------
NEXT TIME ON DCA:
Shade: Dark, Red, we're getting the gang back together.
Dark: Rubber Goose?
Red: I think he means our CRIMEFIGHTING gang. Our unnamed one.
Dark: Yay! Let's restore order to this orderless world! ROCK AND ROLL!!!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Another great new idea for a DCA episode.
Left 4 ____. Maybe "Shade." Maybe something else.
It would be a DCA adaption of Left 4 Dead, or at least a few levels of it.
Have you ever played even the demo of L4D? You can get it on the PC. It's the newest wacky game by Valve, the creators of Half-Life and Portal.
Left 4 Dead would definitely be perfect for a DCA episode, though. If you want a VERY good example why, check out this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyF5fZHhriY Warning: It has swearing in it. But, it is the perfect example of Murphy's Law, "Anything that CAN go wrong, WILL go wrong."
If I find any other, funnier ones, I'll let you know. I've got some good ideas brewin' in my head.
And don't worry, Episode 52 is nearly complete.
It would be a DCA adaption of Left 4 Dead, or at least a few levels of it.
Have you ever played even the demo of L4D? You can get it on the PC. It's the newest wacky game by Valve, the creators of Half-Life and Portal.
Left 4 Dead would definitely be perfect for a DCA episode, though. If you want a VERY good example why, check out this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyF5fZHhriY Warning: It has swearing in it. But, it is the perfect example of Murphy's Law, "Anything that CAN go wrong, WILL go wrong."
If I find any other, funnier ones, I'll let you know. I've got some good ideas brewin' in my head.
And don't worry, Episode 52 is nearly complete.
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