Dark Chao Adventures Episode 9: Girls Are ICKY!
Chapter 1: Darky and the Brain
[in the Dark Garden, Dark is playing Sonic Riders, against Devilish]
Dark: HA! I just slapped poisonous gas onto you!
Devilish: Dark, that's NOT poisonous gas...
Dark: It's not? But, I could've sworn Eggman keeps poisonous gas in his..... oh.
[Shade walks in]
Shade: Who's thinking what I'm thinking?
Devilish: We DON'T have any sharks with lasers attatched to their heads, Shade!
Shade: Not what I was thinking... Dark?
Dark: I think I'm thinking the same, but this time, YOU wear the tutu!
Shade: What? No! I'm thinking of sending Shade Jr. to Preschool!
Dark: OH! I knew that! Ha...
Devilish: OOH! I just OWN'D you! YEAH! The dynamite's in YOUR pants, now! Uh-huh! Oh, yeah!
Shade: The what's in his WHERE!?
Devilish: Nothing. Nowhere. What? I didn't say anything. Did I say anything, Dark?
Dark: Yes, you did: "The dynamite's in YOUR pants, now!" That's what you said.
Devilish: Shade, what're we gonna do with him?
Shade: I have an idea, but first, we're gonna need those sharks with laser beams attatched to their hea--
Devilish: We're NOT getting any, Shade! Dark, take Shade Jr. to Preschool while I talk to Shade about those 'budget cuts'...
Dark: Yes, sir!
Shade: So, all I'm saying is that if I could borrow some coconuts, a bottle o' booze, and 3 copies of "Girl Chao Gone Wild Magazine"--
[Dark steps in]
Shade: -- (nervously) I..... could end world hunger! Y-yeah, that's it...
Dark: Sir, there's a girl at the gate, can she come in?
Shade: I've told you, Dark! It's "MAY she come in!" Set good examples for the chicks-- uh, female chao. Anyway, yes, she MAY.
[a chao that looks just like Shade, but with female features comes in]
Girl: Hello, Dark Chao ruler Shade, sir.
Shade: Uh..... please, um, call me... uh, Shade. State your name.
She-Shade: I am Shade, too!
Shade: Shade 2!?
She-Shade: No, my name is Shade, also!
Me: (I am the Narrator, remember?) This girl is based off of the 'replacement' Shade I got on a new memory card, but it turned out to be a girl.
Shade: So, uh.... Shade, what are you, um, here for?
SShade: I came here to join the.... [pulls out piece of paper]..."Idiot Army"?
Shade: Who gave that to you?
SShade: This nice Hero chao.
Shade: Don't listen to them! They're the enemy! You may call us what you want to, as long as I can call you...
[Shade passes her a piece of paper that says,"Write your phone number on the line below."]
Chapter 2: Just a Few..... Feminine Touches
[Later, Dark is facing Devilish, again, on Sonic Riders]
Dark: I think that fox is a pretty girl...
Devilish: He's a GUY. An 8-year old GUY.
Dark: Oh, shut up! You're just saying that cuz you got shocked by her girl-gigglyness!
Devilish: I was shocked by a plug he pulled out of his pocket.
Dark: HER pocket!
Devilish: Oh, yeah? Well, since you want proof, look at this! [He pulls out a Sonic comic, where Sonic calls Tails a 'he']
Dark: Oh. Well, I still think that red, big, woman is REALLY cute!
Devilish: (quietly) You think EggMAN is an EggWOMAN? I don't know you anymore...
[Shade walks in]
Shade: Dark, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Dark: I think so, Shade, but can the Gummi Worms really live in peace with the Marshmallow Chicks?
Devilish: Don't listen to him, he thinks Eggman's a girl. Anyway, if our knees bent the other way, how would we ride a bicycle?
Shade: What? NO! I'm thinking of asking Shade out to the CPAK Valentine's Day dance!
Dark: That's great, and all, but, taking your OWN SELF to the 'Veelanteem's' Day dance? How'll you do the Tango?
Shade: I mean HER! [points to SShade]
Dark: Oh. Well, good luck!
[Shade walks away]
Devilish: Hmm.... hey, Dark, since we're on TAG mode, and there's a turbulence shortcut coming up, you thikin' what I'm thinkin'?
Dark: I think so, Devilish, but I find scratching just makes it worse.
Devilish: Okay, I KNOW I'm gonna have nightmares after hearing that. I'm scarred for life.
[Meanwhile, Shade gathered everyone]
Shade: OKAY! Listen up, everyone! I have an announcement!
Dark: Has it got anything to do with "Thinking what you're thinking"?
Dark: Good, cuz I ran outta catchphrases.
Shade: I gathered you all here to say that Sonic--
Devilish: SONIC!? No, I SWEAR, Amy was in my bed when I got there!!!
Shade: No, Devilish, this has NOTHING to do with..... you.
Sonic: But, since you mentioned it...
Shade: No time to get into this! Sonic is taking me for a walk, okay?
Dark: Oh, okay.
Shade: And while I'm gone, Shade will be taking care of you!
Dark: Yeah, Dark likes speaking in 2nd person too, but Dark was wondering, since Shade's going out with Sonic, how can Shade
take care of Dark and Devilish?
Devilish: Dimwit, he means the GIRL will be taking care of us.
Dark: Oh. Okay!
SShade: Yes, I'm looking forward to it.
[Sonic and Shade leave]
SShade: So.... anyone know where the bathroom is?
Dark: What's a bathroom?
SShade: Wha-huh? But... where do you... never mind, I don't want to know.
Devilish: Anyone wanna deface the big statue?
Dark: I DO!!!
[Dark and Devilish head to the island while SShade looks around a bit]
SShade: This place... it needs....
[Later, when Shade comes back...]
Shade: WHAT DID YOU DO!?
SShade: Just a few.... feminine touches...
Chapter 3: CPAK- Day of the Dance
[What were the feminine touches? You'll see at the end...]
[Later, at CPAK]
[Devilish is in the corner's 'Baddy-Bye Chao' prison, Dark is in the corner, wearing a 'Dunce' cap, and SShade is at the front
of the class, introducing herself]
DT: Yeah, yeah... who are you.... whatever...
SShade: I am Shade! Not the guy right there, but a girl Shade!
DT: Yeah, yeah... sit down.
[SShade sits down next to Shade]
Shade: Um... why are you sitting close to me?
SShade: I thought you liked me.
Shade: I DO! It's just.... well...
SShade: Well what?
Shade: Shadow read to me once--
DT: Shade, do you have something you'd like to share with the REST of the class?
Shade: Uh... no--
DT: Too bad, come up here and share it with everyone.
[Shade gets up to the front and shivers a bit]
Shade: Um... um... my Uncle Shadow read to me in a book once...
[a few minutes later, Shade is sitting in the Principal's Office]
P: What did you do?
Shade: Um... I just said that Girls had cooties.
P: (sigh) Shade, I know how you must feel, being the "Boss of Darks", and all, but saying that girls have COOTIES.... well...
Shade: But all I said was they have cooties!
P: I know, and I can accept that, but throwing a paper airplane with the words "Cootie Airlines" on it, and hitting CHAO with it???
Shade: It was supposed to hit the girl Shade... but, Chao has cooties, too!
P: I don't care! You are suspended tommorrow!
Shade: Suspended how high in the air?
P: No, you ARE NOT GOING TO SCHOOL TOMMORROW.
Shade: ....and this is punishment HOW?
[Shade goes back to class, and sits back down to where he was]
DT: Okay, everyone, quiet... today, we're learning about SHAPES... whoopee...
[Tails breaks in]
DT: What the???
Tails: Sonic found me and gave me an extra life. And YOU are fired!
DT: Ah, who cares? I was bored of this job, anyway.
[Dark Tails leaves]
Tails: Hey, everyone! Today, we're going on a FIELD TRIP!
Tails: A field trip.... to Stephen King's writing studio!
[Everyone is confused]
[Later... everyone comes back into class]
Chao: THAT was the goriest book ever read to me!
Dark: I don't know what 'Goriest' means, but that sure was a disgusting book!
[Shade and Devilish come in excited]
Shade: MAN! That was COOL!
Devilish: Yeah! Hey, remember the part when that guy's EYES popped and GOO came out of them?
Shade: YEAH! And-and, remember the part when that guy's TONGUE was chopped off and NAILED to the wall?
Tails: Urp... maybe I mistook him for Stephen Queen....
[the bell rings, and the P.A. turns on]
PA: Everyone! The CPAK Valentine's Day dance is NOW!
Chapter 4: Girls Really ARE Icky!
[at the dance... everyone but the 4 Dark chao are dancing]
Dark: Uh... I don't do dance.
Devilish: M-me neither. Besides, who wants to get tired?
Chao: HAHAHA!!! Awww... da widdle dorks don't do dance? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Shade: Shut up, Chao, and at least I CAN dance!
Chao: Oh? Yeah, sure... the dork does dancing...
Shade: Let's see YOU dance!
Chao: Okay, fool! Prepeare to be out-danced!
[Chao dances terribly]
Shade: More like out-losered, or something.
Chao: Let's see you dance, dork!
Shade: I don't NEED to. I'm still smart.
Chao: Oh, COME ON!!! I'M smarter than YOU!!! I'll show you: Winnifred Shakespeare was a football player unlike any other!
Dark: Don't you mean WILLFRED the WRITER?
Devilish: Yeah, even DARK knows he's called Willfred.
Chao: Okay, how about this: I am cool!
SShade: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That's a good one! So, Shade, shall we dance?
Shade: ......no. Nope, we'll just reminisce over past Red Dwarf episodes like 'Psirens', 'Confidence and Paranoia', and 'Future Echoes'. And make fun of Chao.
SShade: (sigh) Alright... fine! If you guys don't want to dance, then FINE! What will you do? [later, in the Dark Garden...]
Chapter 5: The Last Line Of the Day:
[later, in the Dark Garden...]
Sade: Okay, okay, okay! We will now end this Episode of Red Dark with the ending to 'Me (Squared)'. Ready?
Devilish: No, no, no, no, NO! Too much Red Dwarf...
Dark: Yeah, really...
Shade: Well, what do you want to do, then?
Devilish: Get some sleep.
[as Devilish, Dark, Shade and SShade leave, Shade gets the line in:]
Shade: Souper. (super mixed with Gispatcho soup, said as a gag at the very end of Me (Squared)]
(laugh track, applause, the Red Dwarf ship appears on screen while the Credits roll by)
Everyone: SEE YOU NEXT TIME!!!!
SShade: I'll still be here!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Girls Are ICKY!
Yes, I know mLe showed you the first episode, but I want to give you a quick preview of the second season, to get you hooked s'more. The second episode's... not the hooking type. Enjoy.