Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I said I would...

So, here's DCAHall!

"Okay, class, please settle down!"
Mister Miles "Tails" Prower said with a frown.
For today was Halloween, the day the chao looked forward to,
except for Phantom, who had his head by his book like glue.
Shade asked him "What's up, chum?"
Phantom replied, "Nothing, just feeling glum."
He believed this, believed it with no doubt,
Until Mister Prower saw him out.

Dark Chao Adventures... HALLOWEEN EDITION: Pelottaa Scary Stuff

Tale ONE... the Tale of Phantom

[cut to CPAK, dismissal, Phantom is walking home]
[Shade catches up with him]
Shade: Hey, why were you so depressed back there?
Ph: It's... it's nothing. I'm fine.
[Phantom starts walking faster]
Shade: HEY!
[Shade runs to catch up]
Shade: Seriously, what's the deal!? It's NOT nothing! You're the coolest guy (besides ME, of course) that I know!
Ph: ...*sigh* All right, but only if you don't tell anyone.
Shade: I won't, honest!
Ph: Well, I kinda got into a fight with...a bully. He says he's gonna kill me tonight. When I'm least expecting it.
Shade: Oh, don't worry about it, me and the other Darks, we can handle any chao!
Ph: Here's the bad part... he's sorta Metal Sonic.
[Shade stops walking, mouth wide open]
Shade: Muh... Muh... METAL!?
Ph: Yeah... that's why I'm not looking forward to tonight.
Shade: W-well, d-don't worry... we'll, uh... we'll.... we'll........
Ph: Exactly. I'm going to the Neutral Garden to prepare for my doom.
Shade: You do that, I'm pretending I never said, heard, nor THOUGHT anything.
[Shade thinks for a second]
Shade: *sigh* Man, this will not be fun to say... Phantom... I... guess I'll... help.
Ph: Thanks, but it's not like you'll help much.
[later, in the Neutral Garden, Phantom is sitting by the cliff]
Ph: This is ridiculous! What makes you think he'll fall for this?
Shade (off-screen): Just trust me on this one.
[later, evening strikes, and two red eyes are seen at the entrance to the garden]
MS: Phantom... I'm here. And I'm ready to make you PAY for what you said.
Ph: I know.... go ahead, do your worst.
MS: With pleasure.
[Metal steps into the garden and hits a wire, signalling something for Shade]
MS: Let me wring your little neck!
[Metal reaches for Phantom, but Shade flies by wearing a white sheet]
Shade: OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo.... I'm the floating head of DOOM!
[Metal grabs Shade as he flies by the second time, and pulls him off the strings]
MS: What's THIS? Another annoying little snot-hole?
Shade: Don't you mean as--
MS: I don't need a CHAO to tell me how to insult. You were trying to protect this crap-dung, WEREN'T YOU?
Shade: Yeah... "crap-dung"? What kind of insult is THAT?
MS: STOP MAKING FUN OF MY INSULTS! Here, allow me to 'correct' your head...
[Metal reaches for Shade's head, when suddenly, Gir jumps at him and plays with Metal's head]
Gir: What's this dooo? What's THAT dooo? What's THIS dooo? Ooh, what's THAAAAT?
ZIM: Gir, come back to ME, ZIM!
[Gir jumps back and waves to the screen]
ZIM: Gir, enough breaking the fourth wall, I need it for my evil plans.
MS: Where'd you freaks come from?
ZIM: We always come when you least expect it... moo-hoo-hoo-haaa-HAAA!
[ZIM and Gir mysteriously leave]
MS: ....well, that was... weird. I'm going home. See ya.
[Metal leaves]
Ph: 0.0
Shade: 0.0
Ph: 0.0
Shade: 0.0
Ph: Metal... DIDN'T kill me!? 0.0
Shade: That'll be ten bucks.

Tale TWO... the Tale of Morph

[the tale begins in the Dark Garden, seven minutes left until 8, when all the chao go out for the Trick-or-Treating]
Shade: Oh, boy, am I looking forward to this!
Dark: I know! My new costume is the scariest, I'm gonna get all the candy!
Shade: Dark... you're a toaster.
Dark: Yeah, isn't it SPOOKY?
Shade: Well, I'M Evil Kirby from the Kirby anime, with that spooky face and everything!
Red: Eh, he wasn't THAT scary.
Shade: Says YOU! Plus, I doubt YOU'RE anything that scary.
Red: What are you talking about? I'm the scariest of scary!
Shade: Well, what ARE you?
Red: An American Naruto fan.
Dark: EEEEEEK!!! Get it away from me!
Red: So, Shadow, what are YOU?
Shadow: I'm Vector from Shadow the Hedgehog.
Shade: Heh. No way, your voice isn't squeaky enough.
Shadow: It is SO squeaky enough! Listen... FIND THE COMPUTER ROOM!
Shade: HOLY--
[glass breaks]
Dark: That... was the single scariest sound I've EVER HEARD...
Shade: Hey, Shade, what are YOU for Halloween?
SShade: Me? Oh, nothing special. Just Mario.
Shade: Y'know, I've always liked a girl in overalls...
[everyone takes a step away from Shade]
Shade: I WAS KIDDING! Mario's almost as scary as Devilish's costume!
DH: Heh, loser. None of YOUR costumes are scary!
Shade: Oh yeah? Well, what are YOU supposed to be?
DH: I'm a four-eyed two-mouthed demon scorpion thing. Pretty scary, huh?
Ph: Shut up, you're not scary at all!
DH: You wanna bet, freak face?
Ph: HEY! Vampires are NOT freaky! Now, (like a vampire) leeet me suuuck youuur bluuuud!
SB: Why don't you ALL shut up? None of your costumes are scary.
Shade: Go away, S.Bonic. What are you doing in here, anyway? I thought you were working on a new garden.
SB: Yeah, well, I wanted to show you the scariness of my costume, but now, I'll be on my way.
Shade: (as S.Bonic's leaving) Heh... a CHAO.... that's a stupid costume.
[8 o clock starts, and the chao go to the Hero Garden]
Shade: Hello? Lousy Heroes, trying to keep their candy to themselves...
Shade: Okay, uh... DARK, you open the gate!
[Dark opens the Hero Garden gate, and inside, everything is empty and dark]
Shadow: Um... he...hello?
[inside is a swirling portal]
Shade: Hey, a portal! Sweet, Chao must've done something to bring Half-Life to life! Maybe he isn't so bad, after all!
[the Darks run into the portal, and come out in the Hero Garden, but everything's orang-y red]
Red: Whoa, it's... ME!
Shade: It's not RED, it's red SHADES, HEAVILY shaded RED!
[looking around, the chao find Chao curled up in a corner]
Dark: Chao?
Chao: ...
SShade: Chao, what happened?
Chao: ...
Shade: Okay, Chao, I like the whole Half-Life thing, but now you're just creeping me out.
[Devilish reaches for Chao, who turns his head around-- his face is gone]
Darks: AAHH!
[Chao gets up and reaches for Dark]
Shade: Dark, run! Don't let him touch you!
Dark: Why not?
Shade: I dunno, I mean, it's only authentic. Creepy things DO NOT equal happy touches. Now, RUN!
[Dark runs, followed by the others]
[they run out into the lobby and close the gate]
SShade: *pant*
Dark: *pant*
Everyone else: *pant*
[slowly, they all turn around, and scream]
[instead of space, outside they see fire, molten rock, and.... uh.... more fire]
Shade: What the Dark Garden's going on!?
Dark: I think that we weren't meant to step into that portal... I think stepping into it messed up time!
[everyone stares at Dark as he continues]
Dark: ...thus making everything a living-- (notices the others staring at him) ...uh.... sorry.
[the Darks slowly go down the stairs, but the stairs collapse and they fall]
[Devilish pouts as the others look at him]
Shade: Calm down.... it wasn't that much of a fall.
[suddenly, Chao falls down, too]
Chao: No, no, I followed you guys into the portal. But, man, that face-less me was scary...
Shade: Well, where should we go?
Dark: Well, last time things were a living Dark Garden, we met up with Future You and he explained most of the things.
Shade: Good idea.
[they go to the Dark Garden, and find most things are on fire, there are headcrabs eating Dark chao's heads, and Melee pros are running free]
Shade: 0.0
Red: 0.o
SShade: o.0
Shadow: o.o
Ph: >.0
DH: 0.<
Dark: Oh, thanks Hero Chaos everything's normal...
All: >.>/<.<
[Shade punches the pro, makes a crude remark about how "cheap wavedashing is," and proceeds forward, followed by the others]
Shade: Hello? Shade?
?: Huh? What? Who's... who's there?
Shade: It's me again. Me and my pals.
?: Oh..... Shade.... you shouldn't have come back here. You're not ready.
Shade: Ready for what? And... what happened here?
[the chao steps out from the shadows and reveals himself as future Shade]
SF: (holding a shotgun) Do you REALLY want to know?
[the chao gulp]
Red: Hey, I'm the one here with the scariest costume, I think I can take whatever you toss at us.
SF: (rubbing the shotgun) Y'know... somehow, I doubt that...
[ShadeF points the shotgun at Devilish]
SF: Have you ever held... a GUN before?
Red: *gulp* Uh... no...
SF: Have you ever TRULY been afraid? When's the last time a group of zombies from outta this dimension threatened to suck YOUR guts out? HUH?
Red: Uh... I guess... never....
SF: Exactly. You're not ready. You're too scared. You're ALL too scared!
[ShadeF moves the shotgun, pointing at each and every chao's head]
SF: I can sense it in your eyes.... in your expressions.... in your statures. Ain't nuttin' you guys can do to make me think otherwise.
[Shade steps forward, ShadeF points the shotgun at him]
SF: Stop.
Shade: I-if you press that trigger--
SF: What? I'll cease to exist? Son, after what I'VE been through... I think I'm fine with that.
[ShadeF cocks the shotgun, and points it right at Shade's eye]
SF: I want to be put out of my misery.
[the others look at ShadeF's finger, and notice it slowly pressing down on the trigger]
SF: See, I'm SERIOUS. You guys aren't ready.
[Chao notices ShadeF lower his guard for a second, and kicks him in the face]
Chao: Hey, while Devilish may not be ready... while Dark may not be ready.... while even I may not be ready...
[close-up on Chao's face]
Chao: If anyone, SHADE'S ready. He has been through a lot. Just look at this right here-- he's had a shotgun pointed at him.
Shade: Yeah, and I'm still trying to get over that...
[ShadeF gets up, grabs Chao's arm, gets him in a hold, and points the shotgun at him]
SF: I see.... well, I believe you. ...about Shade, anyway. But... what you said about yourself...
[Chao starts to nervously sweat]
SF: Heh... anyone stupid enough to knock ME down... they MUST be ready. Chao.... you haven't changed a bit.
[ShadeF lets go of Chao, and puts his shotgun away]
SF: Still... while you may be ready... the truth may shock you. It may send you crying home to your mommy. Your last warning.
[the chao all look at each other]
Shade: I'm ready.
Chao: (sigh) I may as well...
[the others back down]
SF: Heh heh heh... isn't this funny? Two rivals.... working together to save the greater good.
[ShadeF instantly turns his chuckle into a rough expression]
SF: You'll go down in history, boys.
[Shade and Chao's eyes widen]
SF: As the ones who DIED. Died trying to save the greater good. You'll DIE. This won't be fun.
[ShadeF begins to slowly walk around the two, hands behind his back]
SF: History was never kind to its subjects, Field Marshal Shade.... Commander Chao.
[ShadeF grabs his shotgun, and continues circling them]
SF: Allow me to inform you... on why things are so DOWN.
[ShadeF stops in place and points towards the crab-like creatures roaming around]
SF: These things you see. They're called headcrabs. Not the friendly type, either.
[ShadeF resumes circling them]
SF: These DEADLY fiends first hop at your head... then proceed to PIERCE your cranium with its sharp "beaks."
[Shade starts to get nervous, and looks at his head with fear]
SF: Once attatched, they will completely destroy your mind. .....LITERALLY. Taking over, you will become a zombie.
[Chao begins to worry]
SF: I can see it now... a Hero chao and a Dark chao... entering this garden... with headcrabs for heads!
[Shade and Chao look at each other, each scared]
SF: Your arms? Ripped to shreds. your own central nervous system. The headcrab manages to HACK its way into that.
[Shade and Chao look at their arms with worry]
SF: After being ripped to shreds, your arms are REPLACED. Replaced with what look like muscle tissues with a faint arm form.
[ShadeF stops, wields his shotgun, and shoots a headcrab, killing it]
SF: However, once you go zombie... once your sanity has completely disintigrated like that... you are still conscious.
[ShadeF changes his hand into a fist]
SF: Can you imagine that? As a zombie, you are still ALIVE. You are completely AWARE of your condition... you still feel pain.
[Shade and Chao worry even more]
SF: And yet... when you become zombies, I will have to shoot your stinkin' heads clean off. You'll feel it. It won't be pleasant. I can't guarantee your survival. In fact, I guarantee your death.
[they start crying]
SF: BUT... there's a slim chance you'll save the future... WITHOUT turning into zombies. A slim chance. SLIM.
[they stop crying, and worry less]
SF: And that's just the headcrabs, the LEAST of our problems!
Chao: Look, can you just tell us what we need to do before I die of fear?
SF: No, sorry, no can do. Before you leave on your ONE LAST MISSION... you must know the threats.
[ShadeF resumes circling them]
SF: Right after Shade left this place... after Metal Solaris was destroyed... I came back to life.
[Shade smiles]
SF: Only to return to my living hell.
[Shade frowns]
SF: You see, although Metal Sonic was defeated, that was a crazy thing you did. attracted someone's attention.
Shade: Who?
SF: I do not know his name... only of the tales on the walls in CPAK.
Chao: Wait, what tales?
SF: I suggest you avoid reading the tales... lest you end up like Dark.
Dark: Hey, I'm right here!
SF: Don't... have a good heart....
Shade: Okay, now what are you talking about?
[ShadeF stands there for a few seconds, silent]
Chao: Hey, are you listening to us?
SF: ...just go to CPAK, and stop him.
Shade: But... stop WHO?
[ShadeF reaches for his shotgun, Shade and Chao run to CPAK]
[so, they go to CPAK, and notice train tracks in front of the building]
Shade: Whoop-dee-doo, train tracks. And a dune buggy. --SHEEEE-OOOT!
Chao: What's wrong?
Shade: This looks an awful lot like a part of Highway 17 on Half-Life 2...
Chao: Why? What happened then?
Shade: We need to get THAT dune buggy all the way across these train tracks.
[a train whizzes by and runs the dune buggy over]
[the screen turns black]
[the screen becomes normal, showing the chao entering the train area]
Shade: Whoop-dee-doo, train tracks. And a dune buggy. --Wait a minute... what just happened?
Chao: I don't know. I think a train ran over the buggy.
Shade: What? No way, it's right--
[a train runs over the dune buggy]
Shade: ...there. ...crap.
[the screen turns black and resets]
Shade: Whoop-dee-doo, train tracks. And a dune buggy. --WILL I STOP SAYING THAT!?
[a train is heard honking in the distance]
Chao: ...let's go.
[they run, enter the buggy, and drive it off the tracks for a second as the train whizzes past]
[they continue to drive the buggy forward and to the end of the tracks]
Shade: We made it! HA! TAKE THAT, YOU UGLY TRAIN!
[another train comes by and runs the buggy over]
[the screen resets]
Shade: Whoop-dee-doo, trai.... uh... oh, good, I stopped.
Chao: That was pretty cheap. I think that, in order to get this to work, we'll have to use careful timing and swift controls--
Shade: Screw that, I'm using noclip!
[Shade magically flies across and to a large building, Chao decides to follow]
Chao: ...well, that wasn't a very productive solution. We didn't learn anything!
[Shade stares at Chao]
Shade: Um... Chao... lemme break this to ya... in video games, YA DON'T LURN NUTTIN!
[moving on, the chao enter the large building and see that it sprawls for miles underground]
Shade: Chao, this is it. We've reached CPAK.
Chao: *gulp* I... guess we did, didn't we? Let's go.
[looking around, the building is a dark shade of blue, and surprisingly cold]
[Chao looks and notices something on a wall]
Chao: *gasp* Shade, LOOK!
Shade: What? Whoa... writing on the wall! "Darkness is bliss... obey him, obey him."
[Chao spots more writing on the wall]
Chao: "Feel the shadows triumph your body. Resistance to comply with this is not accepted."
Shade: "See the tales of Morph scattered in this building... it was one to succumb."
Chao: Huh. Why is the word 'morph' capitalized?
Shade: I don't know... I say we split up and study for more lore.
Chao: "LORE"? You've been playing Metroid Prime again, haven't you?
Shade: Well... yeah... still, I think we should. Meet back here in five minutes.
Chao: *sigh* ...okay.
[they run to opposite ends of the ruined building, Shade is exploring the classrooms]
Shade: *shudder* Why is it so cold in here? Oh, more writing!
[Shade runs to a corner of the class with tons of desks scattered around]
Shade: "Run, kids... run." Is that all? Where's the really spooky stuff?
[he notices some of the writing dripping down]
Shade: ...?
[Shade touches some of it, and brings it close to his face]
Shade: ...blood? This was all written... in BLOOD? Now THAT'S what I'm talking about! BEST. HALLOWEEN. EVER.
[he turns around, and becomes very scared-- suddenly, writing is scattered all over the walls]
Shade: Strange... I...don't remember all this being here...
[he runs up to some and reads it]
Shade: (getting more scared with each one) "I can see you." "Stay still." "Let me come to you." "I'm right behind you." "Can you feel me breathing down your neck?" "See the large shadow around you? That's me." "This is gonna be messy."
[Shade slowly turns around, but nothing's there. The shadow around him disappeared, and the feeling of breathing down his neck went]
Shade: ...I'm gonna go now.
[Shade runs off]
[cut to Chao, investigating the restrooms]
Chao: Hello?
(inaudible whispers)
Chao: Uh... who's there?
?: (whisper) .......m...o...n...s...t....e..r...s.......
Chao: Wh-what?
?: (whisper) ....c..a..n..y..o...u......s..e...e......t..h..e...m....? ..t..h..e...y..'r...e......e..v..e..r.y..w.h.e..r..e.
[Chao realizes the whispers are coming from an open stall at the end of the room]
?: (whisper) p...l...e..a...s..e........h..e....l...p........m...e......
[Chao slowly creeps toward the stall]
?: (whisper) s...a...v...e......m..e....
[a few more steps, and he's there...]
?: (whisper) ...h...e.....l....p...
[he can see a faint shadow of a chao]
?: (whisper) C...h...a...o.......h...e...l...p.......m...e......
[he's coming to the stall]
?: (slightly louder whisper) I...k..n..o..w.......w..h...o.....y...o...u.....ARE....
[he's almost there]
?: (not a whisper, but a quiet talk- sounds like an adult chao) Help.
[one more step..]
?: COME. NOW. SAVE ME. (distorted) YoU kNoW yOu WaNt To....
[Chao quickly jumps in front of the stall and sees it's empty]
Chao: ...what?
[he notices the toilet is covered in blood, and behind it is writing]
Chao: "Turn around."
[he does, and almost screams-- his face was drawn in blood on a mirror]
Chao: ....whoa...
[the drawing turns into a mad face]
[the mouth opens, and as the following appears in blood on the mirror, a distorted voice says it out loud]
"Say hello to Cham for me!"
[Chao screams, runs out of the room, and eventually smacks into Shade]
Both: OOF!
Shade: Don't hurt me--Chao?
Chao: Oh, Shade, for once, I'm SO glad to see you!
Shade: DiD yOu SaY hElLo To ChAm??????????
Chao: AAAHHH!!
Shade: Hey, what's wrong?
Chao: *shudder* I'm... I'm scared... really scared... I'm hallucinating...
[Chao spots a dark hand reach for Shade]
[Shade turns around, and nothing's there]
Shade: Whoa, you really ARE hallucinating. What'd you find?
Chao: I... I heard a voice. It... sounded like... like... (his eyes widen)...CHAM.
Shade: Chao... you just miss him. Nothing's gonna get you, I promise. How about we never split up again?
Chao: *pant* ...alright...
Shade: Okay. Let's check the Principal's office.
[they walk to the green door, and slowly open it]
[inside, a dark figure is sitting at the desk, drumming its fingers]
Shade: Who... who are you?
?: Ah, what's this? Some more beings NOT full of shadows?
Chao: Hey, he asked you something, you should answer!
?: Come closer. I have... CAKE... for you.
Chao: Um... okay.
Shade: Wait, stop! Chao, whatever you do, DON'T go near him! He's obviously the one who messed up the future!
?: The future? ...!!! I now know who you are.... SHADE. I've been waiting for you.
Shade: Are you the one whose attention was attracted once I stopped Metal Sonic?
?: Why, as a matter of fact, YES. Yes I am. I am the one who sent a living hell to all the gardens!
Chao: But.. who are you?
?: What? Don't you remember me?
[the figure stands up, and slowly steps towards them, like a zombie]
Shade: Aw, shoot.
[Shade runs off]
Chao: Wait, what? WAIT FOR ME!
[Chao follows, and the figure slowly follows]
[later, in a classroom]
Chao: Who was he?
Shade: Isn't it obvious? "Morph," the deep voice, the way he walks, the shadows?
Chao: Well... it... KINDA rings a bell.
Shade: Chao, he's MEPHILES! Mephiles from the future!
[they notice writing appearing on the walls]
Chao: "Leave not, shadow succumb."
Shade: "Win is impossible when up against shadows."
Chao: "The cake is a lie."
Shade: "Wanna know what it's like to die?"
Chao: "Say hello to Cham for me!" Shade, let's run.
[they try to run out the door, but Mephiles is coming in]
Mp: Trick... or... TREAT!
[Shade and Chao scream]
[the walls slowly become darker]
Shade: And to think that this is when Mephiles FINALLY gets his revenge... 30 years later!
Chao: Shade, I never managed to tell you this, but... I've always looked up to you.
[Mephiles laughs as he reaches for the chao]
[they both scream]
SF: Hey, Doctor Phyllis, eat HEADCRAB!
[a headcrab suddenly attatches itself to Mephiles' head]
Mp: *screaming* OW! AHHH! AAHHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!
[Mephiles falls on to the floor, revealing ShadeF by the doorway]
Shade: You... you saved us...
SF: Yeah, not for long. C'mon, it's only a matter of time before he comes back as a zombie!
[ShadeF runs, the others follow]
[they stop by the front door]
Chao: Why'd you stop, we've gotta run!
SF: Shi-- the door's locked! That shadow dork knew I was coming!
[Mephiles (plus headcrab head) slowly limps into the main room]
Mp: That's right.. and even while... my control... slips away... this headcrab... will be the death.... of you...
[Mephiles stops and screams, then the chao watch in horror as his arms melt away, up to the messed-up muscle tissue]
Shade: Shade, HURRY UP!
SF: I'm trying! --oh, right, I have a shotgun.
[ShadeF shoots the headcrab off Mephiles' head, revealing a very distorted face, which collapses]
All: Phew...
SF: Okay, stand back, let me blast the door down.
[he does, and they go back to the Dark Garden]
Dark: Got any 3s?
Red: Go fish.
Dark: *sigh* Go figure...
[the others come in]
Red: Whoa, what the Dark Garden happened to you guys?
DH: Yeah, you look like you saw the king of shadows, or somethi--
Chao: Shut. Up. NOW.
Ph: But... what happened?
Shade: Don't wanna talk about it.
Q: C'mon, what happened?
SF: SHUT THE HELL UP. I need to tell you guys how to get back.
[they all become interested]
SF: To get back, you need to go into the Neutral Garden. ..but, that's not gonna be easy.
Shade: What? Why not?
SF: Well, let me put it simply: "We don't go there anymore." A FPS-player like yourself would understand.
Shade: *gasp* Aw, crap... it's Ravenholm all over again...
SF: But, here's the good part-- the portal back is within steps of entering there.
Chao: Hey, before we go... why are the portals here, anyway?
SF: Allow me to put this one simply, too: Halloween plus the hellish future plus Mephiles' strange powers equals portals.
Chao: Oh. C'mon, Shade, let's get outta here.
[they all say goodbye to ShadeF, and leave to the Neutral Garden]
[in the Neutral Garden, they're ambushed by headcrabs]
[a few seconds later, they all jump into the portal, and Shade kicks a headcrab off Dark's head]
[then, back in the Neutral Garden (present)...]
All: *pant*
Chao: Oh, sweet Hero Chaos, I NEVER want to go to the future ever again...
Shade: Tell me about it...
Dark: The future? We were in the future?
Ph: Hey, didn't you figure it out?
Red: Don't forget-- he's Dark.
Ph: Oh, right.
[they all pant more]
Red: So... worst ending ever?
Shade: Yeah, I mean, it's not funny...
SShade: But, at least Shade learned a lesson...right?
Shade: Nope!

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