150th post. And Professor Shade-on Chapter 6!

DARK CHAO ADVENTURES BONUS: Professor (She)Shade-on and the Curious Animals
A Bonus Story by DJay32

JOURNAL (Chapter 5)

- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED

- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED

- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED

- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED

- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED

- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED

- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? UNSOLVED

Gadgets: PLAYER TRACKER (keeps track of players) {Knuckles is in the Hero Garden}
SCAN-O-MOTRON (scans for invisible things) {loose bricks somewhere in this room}

Characters: Chaosky (Male, Third-Party)- The detective in this case.
Zagu (Male, Third-Party)- Chaosky's partner in this case.
Shade (Female)- Regular detective, taking a break.
Omochao (Male)- Claims there's an Omochao Association in Room 124.
Punchinello Kawizzyworth (Male)- Claims there is not an Omochao Association in Room 124.
Receptionist (Female)- Gave information about mystery.


Chapter 6: Shade-on Rocks On.


[cut to inside the hidden room place]
Chy: Oh, boy.... this is tough.
Zagu: C'mon! We've got to think of something!
Chy: Hmmm..... what would the Professor do?
Zagu: I dunno. She'd probably look at the painting, then look at the receptionist, then look at the walls, and have a little fun.
Chy: Yeah. Then snap, and say,

What the Professor Would Say the Conclusion is (Wilted Rose)

The Receptionist is the biggest clue here. She's just standing there. Yet, she knows so much. Obviously, she should know pretty much everything going on here.

Chy: ......I don't know. That's my best impression of her.
Zagu: You were pretty good.
Chy: Hey, maybe the exit's behind the painting?
Zagu: Yeah, maybe. Let's check.
[it is]
Both: ..........oh.
Rec: Enjoy your visit to the Omochao Association.
[the other exit, leading to the Principal's Office, opens, and SShade walks in]
SShade: Chaosky? Zagu? Are you two there?
Zagu: We're here. We're just about to enter the Omochao Association.
SShade: You figured out a vague puzzle all by yourself?
Chy: It wasn't that hard. All ya had to do was check behind the painting.
SShade: Well, I've calmed down now. And... I've decided that I started this insane thing. May as well continue our detective agency.
Zagu: That's the spirit, Professor!
SShade: Stop calling me that.
[they open the door or whatever, and find themselves in a dark room]
[a random person is standing there]
Person: Welcome. Welcome. Welcome.
SShade: Hello, hello, hello.
Person: This is the Omochao Association. I'm Niles. Or.... maybe I'm Jeff. Or Steve. Or John. Or Timmy. Or Billy. Or Bobby. Or Ted. Or Homer. Or Charles. Or--
Zagu: Okay, we get it.
Person: Are you here to be acquainted? ....to a job as an Omochao?
SShade: I'm afraid not, sir.
Person: Then..... what is your purpose for entering?
SShade: I wish to learn about the Omochao Association.
Person: Oh. Well, the name's Mort. Here, lemme tell ya what we do.

What We Do (The Omochao Association)

We here at the Omochao Association, or just Mary and I-- Mary's the Receptionist. Well, Mary and I noticed that too many people play video games without knowing what they're doing. So, we decided to be living encyclopedias for such people. However, we couldn't tell EVERYBODY in the world stuff while they're playing; that's too many people. And there was no point getting humans to join. For one thing, they wouldn't want to. So, we found these chao things, and set up a little place here, hiring them to teach people stuff.

Mort: That's essentially it.
SShade: Oh.
Chy: So, we went through all that just to learn THAT?
Mort: I do believe that we also have a file for you, about a certain project.
SShade: The G-A Project?
Mort: Yeah. I remember somebody tellin' me that a gray Dark chao would be comin' in, solvin' mysteries. This guy told me to give you what's in the file.
SShade: "Guy?"
Mort: I can't remember him very well. He was in a disguise, and followed by two bodyguards.
Zagu: Enough talking! Let's see that file thingy!
Mort: Fine, fine. Here.

The G-A Project, part three (File #1191212-38115)

The creator of the G-A Project, Knuckles the Echidna, was sued days before the project was terminated. The lawsuit was filed by an indy group named, "The Omochao Association." According to the report, the suit was filed because it was a crime against the Chao. Knuckles lost the case, and so, the project was terminated.

SShade: So... Mort.... you got this project terminated?
Mort: What? Heck, no! I was given that file by the guy who came in!
Chy: Professor, if the guy who gave Mort that file wanted him to SHOW you it...
SShade: It's probably fake. And, stop calling me, "Professor!"
[suddenly, some mysterious people grab the chao, and knock them out]

MYSTERY: Escape Route 101

[the chao wake up in a dark dungeon somewhere]
Zagu: Ow.... man, what did I do this time?
[Zagu notices that he's the only one conscious]
Zagu: .....Chaosky? ...Professor? Hello?
[they don't wake up; they're really out]
Zagu: *sigh* Aw, crap.
[Zagu tries to go to sleep, until a door opens in the room]
[he pretends to be asleep, and can 'feel' a shadow watching over him]
[the person at the door grabs something, detatches it from something, then tosses it]
[a melon falls next to Zagu]
[the door closes]
[the other two wake up just as the door closes]
SShade: Urgh..... where are we?
Zagu: I don't know, but we've got grub. *grabs melon*
Chy: Weird. It's dark green. And.... it's missing the stem.
SShade: ........give me that fruit. NOW.
[SShade snatches it, takes a close look at it, then scans her surroundings for a window, or an opening, or anywhere]
[there is a mouse hole, a locked door, and a window with bars on it]
SShade: Quick! What's in the mouse hole?
Chy: Um.... I think it's some sort of knife.
SShade: Give it. Now.
[SShade gets the knife! Dah-duh-duh-duh-DAAAAAAH!!!]
SShade: Okay, um... um..... crap. What should I do now?
Zagu: What the heck is the rush, Prof?
SShade: No time to explain! Gotta hurry!

Time for you to help Professor Shade do..... whatever it is she's doing. And I'm not helping this time, either.

JOURNAL (Chapter 6)

- Tigers invaded the Dark Garden, who sent them? UNSOLVED

- Phantom entered the Lobby with Eggman. Chaosky says he was chased BY Eggman a few moments later! Whom is Eggman? SOLVED

- Someone stole the Poker Gang's poker cards, but left a joker and three 2s. Who stole the deck? SOLVED

- Knuckles has been murdered! Amy's going to court! But, did she REALLY kill him? SOLVED

- An Omochao dead in the Neutral Garden! Odd death, as well! But, how did it die? SOLVED

- The Omochao Association is in Room 124. But, there IS no Room 124! Where IS it, then? SOLVED

- Room 124 has been found! But, no exit. Where's that exit? SOLVED

- Thrown in a dungeon! Given a dark green melon with no stem! What to do? UNSOLVED

Gadgets: PLAYER TRACKER (keeps track of players) {Knuckles is in the Dark Garden}
SCAN-O-MOTRON (scans for invisible things) {smoke coming from melon-- slight smoke}

Characters: Shade (Female)- The detective in this case.
Chaosky (Male, Third-Party)- Shade's partner in this case.
Zagu (Male, Third-Party)- Shade's other partner in this case.
Mysterious Stranger (Male, Unknwon)- Gave Mort possibly fake file, possibly kidnapped the detectives.

Boy, it's been a while, huh?

"So, how are things?" I'll tell you how things are. Things are GREAT!

My life is wonderful right now. Rock Band 2 is awesome. Really. Gears 2 has never been awesomer. Still, Guns of War won't be made for a while. Trust me. I still haven't played it enough yet. Third time's the charm, though, right?

I got the SPECIAL, "Last Stand Edition" of the Gears of War 2 Strategy Guide. It rocks. It comes with a one-in-46,000-of-a-kind, 8X10, signed by the author lithograph (picture or something) of a character. ...his name's Skorge. It is one AWESOME picture, though. I'mma try to get it framed. I've already worked out who will play Skorge in Gears 2, and I know exactly WHY, as well. I dunno if Mecha will be in there or not, nor the Tails Doll. Well.... Mecha might.

Also, Christmas is comin' up awfully quick now, ain't it? I'm hopin' to get a number of things, come December 25th. Who knows? I might even spread the joy by releasing some kind of special then. I haven't made a REAL Christmas special yet.

One more thing-- if you haven't yet, GET GEARS 2, and if not yet, GEARS 1 AS WELL! Both games are REALLY awesome! And, if you can, GET THE LIMITED EDITIONS FOR BOTH OF THEM! I got the first's limited edition for twenty dollars less than the actual game cost. ...it was used. Still, it rocks. A super-special tin, a book of art, a special DVD about the game, and it just looks so cool! Apparently, the second's limited edition has an even better book, a DVD, a tin, and is just as good!

Let's see, what else is there to say now? ....nothing at all. See ya later!

Well, I got and beat Gears of War 2, SO....

Guns of War

Hell yeah, baby! The Cole Train's back in business! Ya can't stop the train, baby!

*ahem* Sorry. Gears of War 2 is a great game. Truly amazing. However, maybe it's because I haven't played it enough yet, but it doesn't feel as CLASSIC as the original. ...yeah, it's because I haven't played it enough yet. Wait 'til I'm REALLY used to the huge bosses.

So, Guns of War will be coming to a computer near you VERY not incredibly soon. This time, once I've made it, I've made it, so there is no release date. But, I'm thinking Christmas. Maybe. ...yeah, I may as well do that.

Okay, new production update!

Guns of War will be coming to a computer near you on December 25, 2008.

Of course, DCA08 will be completed before then, too. Hopefully. If not, I'll simply rename it DCA09, and I'll be in the clear. 2008's already got enough epic scripts. It only has room for one more, and Gears of War 2 was here--- well..... second.

Some things to look forward to about Guns of War--

- 5 EPIC Acts, each with around 6 EPIC chapters! Except the fifth, which will only have 5!

- NEW locations! Including a forest, underground, an abandoned facility, a mountain, an underground lake, and some unbelievable things.

- NEW enemies! Trust me, there'll be enough n00bs for everyone.

- Our good ol' Delta Squad, and Command! Shade, Dark, Chao, and Cham return for another round, with Eggman providing their intel!

- Even more EPIC speeches by the mysterious voice! Except this time, you'll learn who the voice IS!

- EMOTIONAL STORY! Well, more like a little side-story. Still, it's interesting.

- NO COMMERCIALS! Completely ad-free.

- There were some parts of Gears 2 I will be changing, just like with the first. But, this time, I only have ONE PARTICULAR part in mind. For those who have played it, I'll say Act 2, Chapter 6. You know the one I mean. *shudder* Hate stuff like that...

- I might throw in some bonus stuff, since this one is without the first random tale, and the epic song at the end where Cole raps. So, I'll just toss some bonuses in there.

- THEY WILL SING SOME MORE. Of course.

- For those who HAVE played Gears 2, you should know by now just how epic and great it is. Epic Games is very good at making..... well, EPIC GAMES.

- IT'S LONGER THAN THE FIRST ONE. Or, it SHOULD be.

- Y'know what? Maybe Christmas is too soon.

Guns of War might not come out December 25, 2008. I mean, I still haven't played the game enough to get it to 'click' into my mind, you know?

I mean, with Gears n' Roses, I made it so great because I truly loved Gears of War. I was a true fan of that game. It was so dramatic... so awesome. Gears 2 is just as dramatic and awesome, if not more so, but the first time I played it (today and yesterday), I just "breezed through." I haven't gotten a chance to just.... PLAY it. Just walk through it, and pretend it's a movie. ....a 10-hour long movie.

So, that's it for this installment of "Guns of War PRODUCTION UPDATE!" ....heh..... "GoWPU." "Go poo."

Chao In Space 3 part one: One if by Telly, Two if by Bathtub

(NOTE: This episode is somewhat controversial. It touches upon some things not meant to be touched upon. But, remember this-- everybody's just joking around. Any references to real things are only put there to help you realize how the chao feel about things. DON'T TAKE OFFENSE, PLEASE.)

LAST TIME, ON DCA!
Chao: I, the great Hero chao, Chao, won the elections. I am now the king of ALL Gardens!
Shade: I, the even cooler Dark chao, Shade, am in a sucky position. The Heroes are freeloading.
Dark: I, the cool Dark chao, Dark, am sad that the Heroes moved into the Dark Garden and stole my candy.
Cham: I, the only REAL Neutral chao, Cham, am alone in the Neutral Garden.
Chao: Since I am now the KING, I can make my own laws, taxes, and whatnot!
Shade: Chao's first law? Hero chao can do WHATEVER they want. Sleep WHEREVER they want. Not a good idea.
Cham: I fear that something terrible is going to happen soon....
All: War.

[the Invader Zim theme plays; for those who don't know that song, then the Dark Garden theme plays]
Dark Chao Adventures Episode 52: Chao In Space 3 part one: One if by Telly, Two if by Bathtub
*DCA Remastered! This official certifimicate of own shows that this episode can have five chapters, and feature Rebel Chao, Cyber Chao, and all that stuff without being a reference to Betas. That is all.*

[our story begins in the Dark Garden; the Hero chao are partying their little butts off]
[cut to Shade under a blanket, holding a pillow over his head]
[.....also, it's midnight]
Shade: Grrrr....
[a glass smashes]
Shade: That is IT! It's about time I did something about this....
Chapter 1: The SMAAAAAAASH Heard 'Round the World
[it's morning in the Dark Garden; Shade gets up to find a bunch of Hero chao in costumes]
Shade: Argh... what now?
Tail: We're having a costume party.
Shade: I see. Mind if I take a close look at your costume?
Tail: Not at all.
[pause]
[SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!]
[tons of birds fly; horses neigh]
[cut to Chao, meditating behind the fountain in the Hero Garden; he hears the "SMAAAAAAAAASH!!!" and gets up]
Chao: That... does not sound good.
[Chao runs down the stairs into the Lobby, and sees tons of chao outside the Dark Garden]
Chao: What is going on?
Speedy: Dude, I heard Shade became a Were-hog, and started killing people.
Knuckle: No, you idiot! He just smacked Tail on the head.
Chao: What?! Shade performed a violent act against a Hero chao?
Knuckle: That's right. How horrid! A Dark chao.... touching a HERO chao? How unheard of! I SPIT at the thought!
Chao: It truly is a terrible thing.
[Tail runs out of the Dark Garden; the Dark Gates slam shut]
Chao: Tail! Are you alright?
Tail: *sniff* ....Shade.... struck me.
Chao: You'll be fine, Tail. However, Shade will NOT.
Knuckle: What are you gonna do?
Chao: WE are going to establish some LAWS around here.
Knuckle: L...laws?!
Chao: Yes. It is about time we Heroes began putting our feet down!
[cut to later, in the Dark Garden; all the Darks are gathered around Shade, praising him]
Red: That was a really bold act, Shade. But... I think you did the right thing.
SShade: I'm gonna agree with Red on this one. You brought some righteousness to this bleak world.
Dark: FIGHT THE POWER!!! THE HERO POWER!!!
Shawn: It was righteous, all right.
[everyone looks at the gate; Shawn is there]
Shade: How did you get in here?
Shawn: I built that gate. Trust me... I know its secrets. Anyway, we have bigger problems right now.
[Shawn is clutching a paper, steps forward, and quietly hands it to Shade]
[Shade unfolds it, and reads it]
SShade: Shade... what's wrong?
Shade: It........ Chao.... he...........
[Shade gives the paper to Red]
[Red starts reading the paper aloud, with anger and sadness]
"Attention, Dark chao.
We are now putting into effect a series of laws that will put you in your place.
From now on, all Dark chao must use seperate restrooms than Hero chao.
Albeit, we do not USE restrooms, but... I digress.
Darks and Heroes are no longer allowed to eat together.
Darks shall never disrespect Heroes in any way.
Basically, we SHALL NEVER BE A PART OF EACH OTHER EVER AGAIN.
More laws will be made as necessary.
These will be titled the 'Jim Chao Laws,' in honor of the first ever Hero chao, Jim Chao.
Kingingly yours,
Chao.

PS: But.... we're cool, right?"
[Red crumples it up, and tosses it at the ground]
SShade: They can't do this to us! It's.... it seems very side-ist!
Shade: You're right. I won't stand for this sideism! Favoring one side over another is fine, but stopping sides from EATING together?
Dark: FIGHT THE POWER!!! THE HERO POWER!!!
Shade: Chao has crossed the line. Dark, give me my typewriter.
Dark: Sir, yes, SIR!
[Dark gets Shade his typewriter; Shade types a letter; Shawn delivers it to Chao]
Chao: What the? ..."This means war!"......hmm....
Chapter 2: The Conflict in CPAK
[later that week, the chao go back to school]
[their school is named, "Chao Pre-school And Kindergarten," or CPAK]
[it's time for class; their teacher is Miles "Tails" Prower, whom they call "Mister Prower"]
Tails: Okay, class, please take your seats. It sure has been a while since I last saw you. What happened?
Shade: We were on a life-threatening journey. Let's not talk about it.
Tails: Well, it's time for our first lesson, anyway. Today, we're gonna talk about--....
[Tails stares at the class; the chao have segregated themselves: Darks on one side, Heroes on the other; Neutrals in the center]
Tails: Is... there any reason you kids are seated like that?
Dark: Chao doesn't want us sitting next to him. He's a meanie!
Tails: Chao, is this true?
Chao: It is true that I do not want them seated near me, HOWEVER, the Darks are the "meanies."
Tails: Hmmmm.... I believe it's time for a DEBATE!
Shade: A debate?
Tails: Yes, a debate! Okay, let's start with Chao. Chao, tell us your side of the story.
Chao: With pleasure.

Earlier, we had presidential elections for the King of the Gardens. I won by a landslide. So, I started giving the Heroes the same priviliges the Darks had. Of course, Shade got too spoiled and whiny about that, so he beat Tail up. I decided to punish Shade by restricting the Darks of their priviliges. Then, he declared a war.

Tails: ....Mmmhmm.... and Shade?
Shade: He's stretching the truth, Mister Prower! Here, let me tell you the REAL story.

So a few days ago, I decided it'd be cool for us to have some democracy in our Gardens. So then Chao got all competitive and decided to start bending the rules a little bit, making it so he'd win! So now he's the self-proclaimed "king" of all the Gardens. He made it so that the Heroes could freeload all they wanted, and keep me up until late at night. The next day, I had an outburst, and smacked Tail. Chao acted very irrational, and used his "powers" to make it so we couldn't disrespect them or eat with them, or ANYTHING like that without getting in trouble. So, I declared war.

Tails: ......I see. Well, it seems to me that Chao, you let these powers get to your head.
Chao: How dare you! I am the KING OF THE GARDENS! These are no mere "powers...."
Tails: Chao, calm down, please.
Chao: ENOUGH! Knuckle, Hero... escort Tail and I out of this place.
[they do]
Aqua: .......hey, wait for me!
[Aqua dashes out of the room]
Tails: Oh, dear... it seems I've lost control of them. It's up to you Darks to get them under control.
Dark: Does this mean we get today off?
Tails: .....yes.
Dark: I'm in!
[cut to the main lobby of CPAK; the Darks see Knuckle and Aqua are guarding the exit]
Shade: Let us out, you two! We have a score to settle with the "king!"
Knuckle: Uh, I'm not so sure about that. What do YOU think, Aqua?
[Aqua gives them a thumbs-down]
Knuckle: Of course.... you WOULD expect such stupidity from a bunch of DARKS.
Dark: YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU BIG BULLY!
Knuckle: Make me!
Dark: THAT'S IT!
[Dark pounces at Knuckle and starts punching him]
Shade: Dark, save your energy for Chao.
Dark: But.... but he's being sideist!
Shade: He's a Hero chao. Of COURSE he's being sideist.
Dark: *sniff* ....all right. I'll.... I'll save my energy. .....LET'S ROCK!!!
[they leave CPAK, and head for the Hero Garden]
[the screen turns sepia and pauses; the camera zooms out to reveal it is a picture in a history book]
Shade (Voice-Over [You don't see him]): Dark's actions that day would later come back to bite us in the blubber.
[Shade's hand is seen reaching for the next page]
Shade VO: Chao made that event known as "The Conflict of CPAK." Now, let me tell you about...
[Shade turns the page; the camera zooms in; the screen becomes normal]
Chapter 3: "The Hero Garden Massacre"
[they approach the Hero Gates; some Hero chao see them and run to Chao, telling him something]
[Chao shouts, "FREELANCERS!"]
[a group of chao come to the gate-- the Freelance Chao]
?: See, now why couldn't you have called us Freelance Chao earlier? Why were we always THIRD-PARTY?
Chao: Because DJay didn't come up with that name until three-quarters into DCRPG.
[the Freelance Chao, formerly Third-Party chao, are as follows]
[Dark-Hawk the Dark chao wizard, Quartz the Neutral Chaos chao punching bag nobody cares about, Phantom the Dark chao who has no legs, Chaosky the Hero Chaos chao wanderer, Shadow Bonic the Neutral Chaos chao, and maybe some others every now and then]
SBonic: That was a rather long sentence.
Chaosky: Run on!
Shade: Dark-Hawk, what are you doing over there? And Phantom?
Ph: I am a loyal follower of Chao.
Chao: No, you're not. Get out. Both of you.
DH: Okay....
[Dark-Hawk and Phantom are kicked out]
Ph: Chao, you lying scumbag! Your reign of terror will soon end!
Chao: "Scumbag?!"
Chaosky: That's it, you Darks! You're outta control. *shotgun equip*
DH: WHAT THE FU--
[BLAST!!!!]
[the screen turns sepia and pauses; the camera zooms out to reveal it is a picture in a history book]
Shade VO: Dark-Hawk and Phantom's little back-talk there made sure the Heroes didn't cut us any slack.
[Shade's hand is seen reaching for the next page]
Shade VO: Since Chaosky was a Hero, the Heroes let his actions slide and claimed we had an outrage, so he had to 'calm us down.' Henceforth, "The Hero Garden Massacre."
[Shade turns the page; the camera zooms in; the screen becomes normal]
[cut to everybody in the Dark Garden]
Shade: I just... I just don't get it. How come Chao is such a butt-head?
Red: Because, like Mister Prower said, he's letting this power get to his head.
SShade: Yeah, so technically, all this is YOUR fault, Shade.
Shade: Hey, I only did those elections because Mephiles came to me all whiny about being bored! ...hey!
Red: What?
Shade: I think I know what I'm supposed to do to stop Chao!
Red: .................and that IS?
Shade: Mephiles gave me the oppurtunity to do the elections. Now... he's gonna give me the oppurtunity to stop him.
Dark: lolwut? And how does the logic call for that?
Shade: Dark. You don't even know what logic IS.
Dark: I do TOO! It's.... something to do with a lodge, right?
[Shade groans; cut to the rip in time and space beyond the planet of pure dooky, or the Space/Time Rip, or the STR]
[Mephiles is there, playing games on a floating computer]
[Shade walks in]
Shade: Mephiles.
Mp: WHOA!!! *covers screen* Hey, uh... how ya doin'?
Shade: Wait, what is that?
Mp: It's nothing.
Shade: Is that... Zoombinis, the math game?
Mp: Shut up.
Shade: Dude, that's an awesome game.
Mp: Shut u--really? You think it's awesome? Well.... so do I! Okay. So, what do you want?
Shade: I want to impeach Chao.
[cut to the Hero Garden, once more; Shawn approaches Chao, and gives him a letter]
Chao: .....what?! "Impeach!?" This is blasphemy! This is MADNESS!
Shade: Madness?
[dramatic silence as Chao glares at Shade, standing by the gates]
[Shade glares back; dramatic camera angles; Shawn looks at both of them]
Shade: THIS. IS. WAR!!!
Shawn: ...what? Are you sure that... fits? Sure it's not something else? Something with TWO syllables?
Shade: I'm sure. This is war.
Chao: Are you certain you don't mean, "This is battle?" Or "This is melee?" Or... "This is sparta?"
Shade: Well, 'sparta' would be copying, but those other two have terrible grammar.
Chao: Anyway, I see your point. So, you wish to impeach me, do you? Let me see you try.
Chapter 4: I Fought the Law and.... the Law Kicked My Butt
[cut to Shade in jail]
[some kind of jail behind the waterfall in the Neutral Garden]
Shade: *sigh* Freaking Chao. He's so....... annoying.
[he is being guarded by Speedy]
Shade: Speedy, why are YOU my guard? You're not even a Hero.
Speedy: I needed SOMETHING to do. Things are awfully boring around here ever since Chao became such a jerk.
Shade: Makes me wanna read Tacquila Mockingbird.
Speedy: To Kill a Mockingbird.
Shade: What did I say?
Speedy: "Tacquila."
Shade: *chuckle*
Speedy: Say... why didn't Mephiles help you impeach Chao?
Shade: Eh, he was too busy playing Zoombinis.
Speedy: Oh. ...I like that game.
Shade: I know, right?
Speedy: I mean, if I wasn't stuck here, guarding YOU, I'd be playing it right now.
Shade: Really?
Speedy: Yeah.
Shade: How?
Speedy: Mister Prower's got these new computers into our classroom, and he's letting good chao play it.
Shade: Hmm.... I've got another idea! Speedy, you don't suppose you could let me out?
Speedy: .......................sure, go ahead.
[Speedy lets Shade out; he runs to CPAK]
Chapter 4.5: The Masquerade of Mister Prower
[cut to Shade in Room 123, Tails' room; Tails is doing an assignment on the internet]
Tails: Oh, good, you're here. Do you know a word that rhymes with "masquerade?"
Shade: Uh.... how about "mast--".......
Tails: What? How about WHAT?
Shade: ....never mind. I need some sort of camera that can broadcast me all over the gardens.
Tails: Oh, that? It's in the utility closet. Go on.
[cut to the Heroes relaxing in the Hero Garden]
[a large hologram of Shade appears, as well as in the other two gardens]
Shade: Attention, everyone.
Chao: What the...? Tail! Does he have the proper permits for use of that camera?
Tail: I don't know!
Shade: As of recently, our king, Chao, has been a jerk. A big, chubby jerk!
Chao: "Chubby?!"
Shade: I say we end this! I say we fight back! I say.... we IMPEACH HIM!
Chao: Knuckle, Chaosky!
Knuckle: We're on it, boss.
[Chaosky grabs his shotgun; they head for CPAK]
Shade: If you agree with me, then please come to the Hero Garden, and help me take him down. Shade, out.
[the hologram ends; cut to CPAK's utility closet]
Chapter 4.9: Shaded Edge of a Mirror
[the following scene is completely in first-person, from Shade's point of view]
Shade: I'd better ske-daddle before the Heroes come.
[he exits the utility closet, revealing it to be the Black Market locker; he looks out the window and sees Knuckle and Chaosky approaching]
Shade: Uh-oh!
[Shade runs into the Black Market, and searches the shelves for something; he finds a grenade]
[he runs back out, and bangs on the window; Knuckle and Chaosky spot him; Chaosky points his shotgun at the window]
Shade: HEY! OVER HERE, MYRMIDONTS!
[chhhk-chhk-- BOOM! Shade dives to the side as Chaosky fires; the window is blasted open]
[a few seconds pass; Shade hops up and tosses the grenade]
[BOOM!]
[strangely, it was only a smoke grenade; Shade curses that, and runs out into the smoke]
Knuckle: He's out here! I heard the door open!
Chaosky: Find him! FIND HIM!
[Shade runs forward as fast as he could, and bumps into Knuckle, who stares at him]
[Shade pauses in fear, but Knuckle stays silent]
Knuckle: ......I think he ran back into the building.
Chaosky: I've got him!
[Chaosky is heard running into CPAK; Knuckle looks back at Shade, and gestures for him to run][Shade nods, turns, and runs]
[the screen turns sepia, zooms out, and becomes a book]
Shade VO: I had assumed that a mere hologram would END everything. Believe me... it didn't.
[Shade reaches for the next page]
Shade VO: Chao was stopped, indeed, as you will see. But, that was only the beginning.
[Shade turns the page]
Shade VO: This next chapter, my friends, is....
Chapter 5: The Day Everything Went Wrong
[the camera zooms in on a picture of Shade approaching an angry mob by the Hero Garden; it becomes normal]
Shade: Hey, what's going on?
Shawn: It turns out Chao has been a jerk. A big, chubby jerk. Thanks for letting us know.
Cham: Yeah, we're all out here to throw him out of control!
Shade: You mean.... one of my crazy plans thought up on the spot actually WORKED?! Hawt dayum!
[the angry mob charges into the Hero Garden, and comes out carrying Chao]
Chao: But.... what will become of our great monarchy?
[the mob chants, "Shade! Shade! Shade!"]
Shade+Chao: WHAT?!
Shade: Me? Rule the three Gardens? I.... I don't know what to say, except..... sure.
[CHEER!!!]
[cut to the next day; things are great and peaceful in the Dark Garden]
Dark: Man, Shade, life in the Dark Garden has never been better!
Shade: Yep. I sure do love things now. Chao was too.... pushy.
[dot dot dot SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!]
All: WHAT THE FRAY?!
[smoke fills the garden; minutes later, once the smoke clears, it turns out that someone has vandalized the Dark Garden!]
[tons of graffiti cover the walls and gravestones and the tree; the water is oily and thick; stuff like that]
Red: Damn.
[cut to Shade on a hologram again]
Shade: Okay, um.... attention, please? Yes. Um.... is this on? Testing.
Red: It's on.
Shade: Good. Good. Well, it appears that someone has vandalized our Garden today, on the Tenth of December.
Red: It's the tenth of December?
Shade: ....whatever. Yeah. Check a calendar. BUT, you may be thinking I'm gonna be cruel now, like Chao was.
Red: You'd better not.
Shade: No. I'm not Chao. Instead of punishing everyone, I'm gonna let you do whatever you want. No rules.
Red: ....WHAT?!
Shade: However, there is ONE rule. Look for the Ten/Twelve culprit.
Red: "Ten/Twelve?" What, do we live in Europe now? Shouldn't it be "Twelve/Ten?"
Shade: Well, I prefer the European system, okay? Anyway, look for the culprit while you do whatever you want. And, uh... have fun.
[the hologram ends; cut to the Dark Garden]
Shade: There. We'll find the culprit in no time.
Red: Shade, you are one helluvan idiot.
Shade: And how am I an idiot?
Red: You'll see soon enough if you don't call off this ridiculous law!
Shade: No way! We're finding the culprit! I have reason to believe that Chao has the weapons of mass disrespect.
Red: Chao does NOT have WMDs.
Shade: Yes, he does! And I'm shipping EVERYONE here off to the Hero Garden to fight!
SShade: Shade, listen.... I understand that this is very hard for you, but... don't risk everyone's lives for your home.
Shade: But.... but they ruined our Garden!
SShade: Shade, please. Call off the law.
Shade: Grrrrr..... FINE!
[Shade gets back on the hologram camera thing]
Shade: Hello. Um... I'd like to say that I'm stopping that previous law. The, uh... "anything you want" law.
[Shade is randomly disconnected]
Shade: Dubbyuh Tee Eff? Dark, check out what's wrong.
Dark: Yessir!
[Dark runs out of the garden; he comes back in quickly]
Dark: It's been disconnected by some people.
Shade: ....elaborate.
Dark: Uh... no.
Shade: What? Why not?!
Dark: I don't know what that means.
Shade: *sigh* Just tell me more about the disconnection.
Dark: OH! Well, these guys are taking all the wires from everywhere, and moving them into the Neutral Garden.
Shade: WHY?!
Dark: They said they're doing whatever they want.
[Shade takes a look outside, and sees everything in chaos-- chao running around, shooting at each other, and making forts and such]
Shade: OH.......... CRAP.
TO BE CONTINTENTINUED!


All: See you next time!
Shade: Bring snacks!
Red: I think this one went pretty well, don't you?
Chao: I... yeah. Yes, I found it rather fun.
Shade: Not me. Although, that Mirror's Edge parody part was awesome.
Chaosky: Yeah. Other than the part where Knuckle tricked me. Traitor.
Knuckle: What? So I support Shade, so what?
Shawn: So, what will happen next?
Shade: Next up is episode 53, "Ten/Twelve." It's part two to Chao In Space 3.
Red: This serial has got to be the most controversial we've ever done.
Dark: I agree. I like Contra.
SShade: Seriously, though, I agree with Red. We're probably gonna tick off a few, or a hundred, political stiffs.
Shade: Isn't "stiff" an offensive word, or something?
SShade: I hope not.
Cham: Okay, I think we're about done here. See you next time.
--------------
DCA was created in loving memory of all my chao, excluding the "Freelance/Third-Parties," and "Shawn." The Freelance chao were made by fans, and Shawn is not real. Other than that, though, all the chao in here are 100% real, and 100% dead.
--------------
NEXT TIME ON DCA:
Shade: Dark, Red, we're getting the gang back together.
Dark: Rubber Goose?
Red: I think he means our CRIMEFIGHTING gang. Our unnamed one.
Dark: Yay! Let's restore order to this orderless world! ROCK AND ROLL!!!

Another great new idea for a DCA episode.

Left 4 ____. Maybe "Shade." Maybe something else.

It would be a DCA adaption of Left 4 Dead, or at least a few levels of it.

Have you ever played even the demo of L4D? You can get it on the PC. It's the newest wacky game by Valve, the creators of Half-Life and Portal.

Left 4 Dead would definitely be perfect for a DCA episode, though. If you want a VERY good example why, check out this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyF5fZHhriY Warning: It has swearing in it. But, it is the perfect example of Murphy's Law, "Anything that CAN go wrong, WILL go wrong."

If I find any other, funnier ones, I'll let you know. I've got some good ideas brewin' in my head.

And don't worry, Episode 52 is nearly complete.

Among my thousands of projects, a new one arises!

Well, not really THOUSANDS. First, let's count up the ones I DO have left to do.





- Professor Shade-on (more of just a side project, really)


- DCA08 (it'll be done before January 1, 2009)


- Season 7 (I haven't quite shifted my focus into it yet)


- Guns of War (Wait until I have GoW2 first)


- Website updates (They come every now and again)


- DCRPG (We're up to Mission 15 so far-- 5 left!)


- Shade and Dark Play Half-Life 2 (almost at the final chapter)





I think that's it. Now, a new one has risen! Although, it's in the same state as Guns of War-- it's gonna happen, and sometime soon, but not yet.





Before I announce it, I'll continue on this long introduction.





Season 6, The Gray Journey. It was more of an experimental thing than anything else. Seeing how hard it is to make text adaptions to games.... it wasn't that bad, actually. And I'm sure the chao will return for Half-Life 2, but not for a while, either.





BUT, the chao returning to something included in the Gray Journey IS what we're talking about here. In fact.....

Man, I hope you can see that.

Introducing, DCAHalo2! The chao return to their musical abilities for a second fight against the Cyber chao.

Look forward to it, foo'!

Quick update.

Gears of War 2 has no Berserkers (why do I call them "Bezerkers?"). Or Kryll.

So you know, in Gears n' Roses, Mecha Knuckles was all the Berserkers while the KYLL was the Kryll.

....this sucks. No Berserkers. Those fights were my favorites....

Some News.

Okay, don't expect more Season 7 stuff for a while. Maybe. For one thing, that episode I released? Consider it a present. An.... Election 2008 present.

Really, whether or not I make more Season 7 for a while, and whether or not the following trailer promotes something coming soon, or coming 2009....

...all depends on what games I get between now and Christmas.

Here's a trailer. I know I shouldn't show you the trailer, but I'm gonna.


[cut to a red screen; black blood splats are visible]
Shade: Sometimes, death is all you can see.
[Shade's silhouette appears]
Shade: It consumes you.
? VO: Oh.... oh, no! They're all dead! They're all dead!
Shade: So you have to look it in the eye....
[Shade revvs a chainsaw]
Shade: And bare your teeth.
[Shade runs forward, and prepares to chainsaw a messed-up robot in half]
[the robot turns around, and revvs up its own chainsaw]
[the two chainsaws "duel," pushing against each other]
[Shade pushes harder, stuns the robot, and cuts it in half]
Shade: Freakin' robots.
[fade to black]
Shade: It never ends.
[a black cog with a black chao skull in it appears on-screen]
[below it flashes the words, "Guns of War"]
[the logo disappears; "Coming Soon. Maybe 2009, Maybe Earlier." appears on-screen]

Haven't figured it out? Guns of War, the Gears n' Roses sequel, will be made sometime soon.

Now, why on Earth (or should I say, "FUTURE Earth") would I decide to make a sequel to Gears n' Roses so soon after I released the original?

Well, let's just say that I really liked making Gears n' Roses. And, I am interested in Gears of War 2.

Like I said earlier, whether or not Season 7 is continued soon, as well as whether or not Guns of War will be made soon, depends on what games I get between now and Christmas.

If I get Gears of War 2 before Christmas, Guns of War will be my top priority.

If I don't, Season 7 can continue.

I suppose any time between now and when I get GoW2, more eppies will be made. I guess.


I also had to make the tough decision about whether or not to make Guns of War DCAHall3, or just make something different for that, and make this now. I've decided that the DCAHalls are meant to be more standalone, rather than follow a storyline. Plus, Gears n' Roses DOES work well by itself. Guns of War will simply be..... a spin-off, if you will. Not really. I dunno.

Now, "Why 'Guns of War?' Why not 'Gears n' Roses 2?'" "Gears n' Roses 2" slips off the tongue. "Guns of War" is catchier. But, it's harder to get the "Guns n' Roses/Gears of War" joke.

And, it's rather inevitable that Epic Games will make another Gears, to either end the story, or keep the series rollin'. Of course, I will eventually make a DCA version of THAT. What it will be called, I do not know.



Some more things:

- Gears of War 2 is supposedly 10 hours long.

- Lemme put it this way..... Gears of War wasn't. I'm sure it was around 5-7 hours, or 3-5, or something.

- Okay, lemme spell it out for you-- Guns of War will be even longer than Gears n' Roses.

- Since it will be so long, I will not make two tales. That's the DCAHall formula. Guns of War will simply be Guns of War, not Tale One-- Whatever, and Tale Two-- Guns of War.

- Because of how much I changed the story in Gears n' Roses, it'll be one interesting challenge to explain how Dark, Chao, and Cham become.... not Instability, and then help Shade again as Delta Squad. Same with Eggman.

- ....yeah, in case you didn't notice, at the end of Gears n' Roses, everybody became an Instability except Shade. That was the cliffhanger.

- I also gotta figure out how to tie the Poker Gang to this one. That'll be....... pretty easy, actually.

- I've actually got some of the story already figured out in my head! Haha! This'll be a cinch!

- Okay, so now the last problem-- Gears of War 2. Getting it, and then converting it to DCA. I've also gotta pray that the Bezerkers return. I LOVE those guys.



So, that's it for this entry. Hope you got some joy out of it.

Wh-wh-WHAAAAAT?! DCA Episode 51.

[Invader Zim theme playing, for those who don't know that song, then just the Dark Garden theme]
DARK CHAO ADVENTURES: episode 51
"Shade is Cool"
by DJay32

Deep down in the planet of chao.......
In the Dark Garden......
Wait. No. No, the planet of Chao is something different in DCA.
So, uh.... let's see..... the Gardens of Chao?
Yeah, that sounds pretty cool.
But, it also sounds religious. I don't want people to get offended for some reason.
No. Well.... I suppose "Gardens of Chao" is a pretty cool name.
Then again, I can do better.
I mean, hey. I'm DJay32. I made a whole script based on Gears of War with CHAO in it.
It was a rather good one, too.
Full of typos, though....
And some blatantly obvious cliches.
Eh, everything has a cliche in it somewhere.
300 had more than enough cliches.
So did Halo 3.
And Gears of War.
...why am I putting GoW in the same group as 300 and Halo 3? What am I, STUPID?
GoW is much better than those two.
........I'm getting hungry.
Okay, I'll just stick with "Gardens of Chao."
I mean, in the scripts, I always refer to them as "the Gardens," so.... yeah.
Okay. Okay. Let's re-do this.

Deep down in the Gardens of chao......
In the Dark Garden.......
A chao named "Shade" was trying to relax.
[the camera cuts to a gray Dark/Swim chao named "Shade," lying down next to a gravestone]
Chapter 1: The First Chapter of a New Life
Shade: ......
[as Shade rests, footsteps are heard running towards him]
?: SHADE! SHADE!!!
[Shade is startled, and notices the normal Dark chao standing next to him, eyes wide]
Shade: Argh..... can't you see I'm trying to chillax, Dark?
[the regular Dark chao, named "Dark," waves his arms around]
Dark: But! BUT! The Heroes are trying to break in!
[Shade jumps up to his feet in surprise]
Shade: WHAT?! DARK CHAO, BATTLE STATIONS!!!
[cut to a group of Dark chao gathered behind a tree]
Shade: All right, men. According to Dark, the Heroes are attempting to break through our mighty gates of steel.
Red: What gates?
[Shade looks angrily at a red Dark chao named "Red"]
Shade: The ones we installed seven seasons ago.
Red: Oh.
SShade: I have a question.
[all attention goes to a chao who looks similar to Shade, but has longer eyelashes or something. You just know it's a female. Her name is "Shade," but in the script, we refer to her as "She-Shade," or "SShade."]
SShade: Are the Heroes REALLY trying to invade? Remember what happened last time?
SJR: Oh, yeah. Dark saw a mouse and thought it was the Heroes.
[there is also a normal Dark chao who is obviously younger than the rest. He seems to be in his late teens, in Chao Years. His name is "Shade Junior."]
Shade: With all due respect, Junior, I'm afraid you are incorrect.
Dark: Yeah. It was a RAT.
SJR: Pfft. Same difference.
Shade: Don't use that phrase, son! You know what I've told you about it!
Dark: What did you tell him about it?
Shade: It doesn't make sense. "Same difference?" If it had the same difference, that would be comparing MORE than two things. You would need two differences to compare, and to compare two differences, you would need three or more different objects.
Red: 'Cause knowledge is power.
Shade: And knowing is half the battle!
All: G.I. JOE!!!
Zagu: If I may interrupt for a second, sir?
Shade: Yes, guard of the Dark Garden who was made by someone else?
Zagu: ....what?
Shade: This is the mandatory "tutorial" section of my awesome game.
Zagu: ....what?
Red: Just introduce yourself.
Zagu: Uh... hey. I'm a Third-Party chao. A fan of the show asked DJay to put me in somewhere. He decided to make me a guard.
Shade: Guards are among the most important members of our community, Zagu!
Zagu: ....what?
Shade: Now, I understand you had something with which to inform me?
Zagu: Yeah. My mouth.
Shade: NICE! *hi-5* I'm glad to see SOMEONE here knows proper grammar.
Red: ..........oh, I get it! "With which to inform me," instead of "OF which to inform me." You were referring to what he's using TO inform you!
Shade: Heh... yes. That was the point.
Red: ...whatever.
Shade: So, what is this of which you were going to inform me?
Zagu: Yes, of course. The Heroes have a battering ram, and are trying to break in through the gates.
Shade: lolwut
Zagu: I'm serious. Come, see for yourself, your grayness!
Shade: ..."grayness," see, I like that. It has "gray" in it, AND "Ness." Ness is among my favorite video game characters. Other than myself, of course.
[SMAAAAAAAAAASH!!!]
[the front gate is busted open, and some Hero chao run in]
Zagu: They've breached the front gates!
Shade: ATTACK!!!
Chapter 2: Skirmish
[the two sides of chao clash and fight on and on]
[cut to Dark diving into the pool of red water]
[he swims to the island across the pool, and observes the battle]
Dark: Whoa. This is intense.
[suddenly, Dark is shoved into the water by a normal Hero chao, named "Hero"]
Dark: *gasp* Hero! Long time, no saw!
Hero: My thoughts exactly.
[Hero dives into the water, as well; the two fight]
[cut to Shade hiding behind a fruit tree; he is holding a weird fruit object]
[Shade peeks around the tree, and spots a normal Hero chao wearing a medal]
Shade: Target sighted.
[Shade tosses the fruit at the chao]
[SPLAT!]
Chao: What the?!
[the Hero chao, named "Chao," leader of the Heroes, looks around for the source of the fruit]
Chao: Where did that come from?
Shade: HEY, CHAO!
[Chao sees Shade leaning out from behind the tree, holding another fruit]
Chao: Shade.
Shade: Yeah, that's right! And I've got more where that came from! Now, why did you guys bust in?
Chao: What do you mean?
Shade: Break-ins are hardly your style of assault, Chao.
Chao: This is true.
Shade: So? Why did you come in?
Chao: *smirk* I see you're thinking nice and smart, fool.
Shade: ...*chuckle* Haven't seen ya in a while, Mephy.
["Chao" melts into the ground, forming an oil-y puddle]
[the puddle morphs to form a creature that looks a lot like Shadow the Hedgehog, but with gray rather than red on him]
[this is the demon named "Mephiles," as first, and probably only seen in Sonic the Hedgehog for the 360]
Mp: Yeah, I managed to get the Heroes to go along with my plan. Pretty neat-o, huh?
Shade: Any particular REASON? It's not often you just.... casually attack us.
Mp: I'm bored today. You guys doing anything really epic anytime soon?
[everyone stops fighting, and stares at Mephiles]
Mp: ......what?
SJR: Dad doesn't DO "epic" anymore. Not since his Gray Journey.
Mp: Oh. Wasn't that when you did some weird stuff, and became a Dark/Swim chao?
Shade: Yes.
Mp: Oh. Well, uh.... I'm still bored.
Shade: Sonic Team not giving you any business?
Mp: Sonic Team?! Those jerks still haven't even given me my share of the Sonic the Hedgehog profits.
Dark: WHAT profits?
Mp: Shut up.
Shade: Hmmm......... I think I have an idea.
Mp: An idea?
SShade: You haven't had one of those since you gave Dark a box of candy to sell to little kids for money.
Dark: Entrepeneuring is hard to do. And spell.
Shade: Yeah, well, I was watching TV the other day, and heard something about "Presidential Erec--"
SShade: ELECTIONS.
Shade: "--Elections."
Mp: Ah, the '08 Elections? I never realized you chao were aware of Earth stuff.
Shade: We're not. It's just that our TV gets Earth channels. Without it, Dark wouldn't get to see his soaps.
Dark: I still wanna go see "House that Preys."
Shade: Sometime later, Dark. Anyway, I realized-- we're living in the dark ages-- I mean, the medieval times. Dictatorships? What am I, FOUR?
Chao: You sure got me. *snicker*
Shade: What the Dark Garden needs is a proper democracy! No. ALL THE GARDENS need democracies! No! They need ONE democracy, to determine the KING of the Gardens!
Chao: One step at a time, Jabber Jaw. Although, that IS a rather interesting idea...
Mp: I'm in. I need something to do, anyway.
Chapter 3: One Campaign to End Them All
[cut to the Chao Lobby; posters are being put up encouraging chao to vote]
[Tails, the two-tailed fox from Sonic 2, leaves the Chao Kindergarten wearing a bow-tie, and is stopped by Red]
Red: Good day, Mister Prower.
Tails: Um... hello, Red. Have you done your homework?
Red: Never mind that. Did you remember to vote today?
Tails: Vote? Vote for WHAT?
Red: Why, the king of the Gardens! Shade, Chao, and Cham are going up against each other!
Tails: .......I see. And... where can I vote?
Red: In front of the Neutral Garden entrance.
Tails: Right. Well...... uh.... I'm allergic to certain substances that have been reported at that entrance, so... I can't vote today.
Red: Oh. ...okay.
[Tails exits through the Chao World Exit Teleporter Thing]
Red: Damn. So many people are allergic to that place. I'm starting to think that maybe they're just making this stuff up...
[cut to the Neutral Garden; a regular Neutral chao is sweeping up dust with a broom]
[the chao's name is "Cham," and he has a few scars on him which are slowly healing]
Cham: Man, this place sure gathered dust while I was gone. Didn't you guys take care of it?
[an old Neutral chao in a trenchcoat speaks up; his name is "Shawn," and he is Shade's father]
Shawn: Hey, I wasn't here, either. So, don't blame me.
Cham: I can understand YOU, but what about Speedy?
[they look at another Neutral chao, this one is a little older than Shade Junior; his name is "Speedy"]
Speedy: I was in the Hero Garden all that time.
Cham: But, WHY? You're not even a Hero chao!
Speedy: Well, yeah, but... Chao took me under his wing. He was like some kinda robot, or something. I DON'T KNOW. I just didn't want to live in a place all by myself.
Cham: I'm still wondering why nobody wanted to live here.
Speedy: Eh, I'm sure you'll have a whole episode devoted to you figuring out the answer to it, someday.
Shawn: I think he's right. For now, though, we have a campaign to try and win.
Cham: Wait. Won't the campaign simply depend on what side you're on? I mean, Dark chao will vote for Shade, you two will vote for me, and the Heroes will vote for Chao, right?
Shawn: Actually, I'm voting for Shade.
Speedy: Yeah, and I'm voting for Chao.
Cham: Oh.
Shawn: But, other than that, yes. Elections, if nobody cheated, simply depend on who's behind that person BEFORE the election. Yet, since people cheat all the time, and manage to make certain votes not count, unexpected things can happen.
Cham: Interesting.
[cut to the Chao Lobby; lots of chao, as well as some others, are gathered by the Neutral Garden entrance]
[they are all writing names on pieces of paper, and giving them to Red]
[meanwhile, the other Darks, as well as Mephiles and some of the Heroes are gathered in the Dark Garden by a table and a LOT of empty ballots]
Chao: Perhaps we should have told Red we were moving the elections to the Dark Garden.
Shade: Eh, that's too much work.
[after a few minutes, Red comes in]
Red: Hey, where WERE you guys?
Chao: We moved the elections down here around three hours ago, but Shade obviously didn't give you the memo.
Shade: Too much work.
Red: Oh. So.... these votes don't count?
Shade: Nope. And, you're too late to vote in the REAL elections. So, let's count these ballots!
[Shade skims through them]
Shade: ....most of these read, "Shade." So.... I win!
Chao: Wait, wait, wait. Lemme see those.....
[Chao reads the ballots]
Chao: ....you really need glasses, Shade. These read, "Chao."
Shade: No, they DON'T. Mephiles, tell him!
Mp: Uh..... no, he's right, Shade. Most of the ballots say, "Chao." One of them says, "Cow," though. ...hey, this one says, "Cao Cao, King of the Wei Dynasty!"
Shade: That was probably me.
Mp: Wait, wait, wait. You.... voted for Chao?
Shade: ...I DIDN'T MEAN TO! It was kind of a joke!
Chao: Well, now the joke's on YOU, Shade! Because due to this "technicality," I am YOUR boss!
Shade: You ARE? .....crap.
Chapter 4: Finishing Up
[cut to later that day in the Dark Garden; everything seems like it should; the Heroes are back in their garden; Mephiles is gone; Shade is relaxing]
Shade: ........
Dark: Shade, sir?
Shade: *groan* WHAT, Dark?
Dark: Chao has an announcement.
Shade: Tell him to tell me it later.
Dark: It's a mandatory announcement.
Shade: Ugh..... what's the announcement?
Dark: He says the Heroes can crash here for a few months.
Shade: .....*groan*........stupid elections.....
[fade to black]
SJR: Dad? I think I wet the bed.
Shade: *groan, burst with laughter* You WHAT?! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ah... just like old times.

All: SEE YOU NEXT TIME!!!
Shade: Or, whatever.
Dark: Does it really matter if we see them next time?
Shade: Not at all. We just gotta act like we used to.
Red: You DO know that we're not gonna, right? It would be very difficult to mimic our old style of humor.
Chao: He's right. I mean, for one thing, we used a lot of Spongebob-esque humor. And... DJay hates Spongebob now.
Shade: How could he randomly start hating that show? And, what are YOU doing here, Chao?
Chao: I was lonely. All the Heroes left the Hero Garden after my announcement.
Shade: Heh.... see, I'm popular. Everybody loves me.
Dark: Actually, it's because I've got "The Gray Journey" on DVD, and we're gonna watch it tonight.
Red: Ooh, my favorite!
Shade: ...how did you get it on DVD? It's a script.
Red: When Dark says, "on DVD," he means we're gonna read it out loud together. It's a load of fun.
Shade: Oh. ....hey, will we be doing this casual stuff EVERY episode? It's a little fun, but pretty boring.
Red: We'll be doing it until our fanbase becomes big enough again.
Shade: I see. ....this episode sucked.
All: I know....
///////////////
Dark Chao Adventures was created in loving memory of all my chao, INCLUDING Shade. Shawn did not exist, though.

On the next episode of DCA....
Shade: I'm declaring war on Chao's new dictatorship! THIS! IS! SPARTA!

Election Day's tomorrow.

Should the chao be involved in politics? I'm not sure. Do the chao like politics? I think Shade is more interested in monarchy rather than democracy.

...hmm.... this gives me a wild and crazy idea. TO THE DJAY CAVE!

Another Halloween Present: The Making of a DCA Episode.

I know, I know, I spoil you guys a lot. Well, it is Halloween, and I haven't uploaded this video yet. So.... enjoy.

This is the Making of Episode 49, by the way. Or, making of a chapter or two. Either way, you'll see how exciting it is to make scripts the DJay way, and how much fun I obviously had as I made Gears n' Roses for two whole months.

If you ever want to try to make an awesome script series like me, first you gotta learn to type like me. If you wanna learn how to type like me, first you gotta learn what I do while I type. Once you learn how to type while doing that, you'll see how much fun it really is.

....by the way, it really is pretty fun doing this. As long as you're on a roll with your ideas.

Also, I might just decide to upload more videos using the Blogger video system. It's much better than using YouTube. Look forward to maybe some more videos, mostly DCA-related, comin' up soon.

Whaddya know? It's not Halloween anymore. Funny thing? It WAS when I first started making this. Uploading videos takes a LONG time. Still, I hope you enjoyed Gears n' Roses. I recently re-read it, and.... is it just me, or does it take around two to three hours to read?

I surprise myself sometimes.

EDIT: Damn, you can't even read the text! Oh, well. I just type while listening to music.

Gears n' Roses: A Little Speech From DJay32

Gears n' Roses

Dark Chao Adventures Halloween 2008

Hello. I'm DJay32. I spent a long, LONG time typing this epic story, and then I spent about twenty minutes posting it in three places across the web on Halloween.

While Gears n' Roses may not be the best script you'll ever read, nor the scariest, or biggest, or funniest.... it'll certainly be rather difficult to top. Hopefully, after reading it, you'll agree with me.

I also hope that no random errors happened during the uploading of this massive script, and hopefully, no vital lines were erased randomly.

Most importantly, I hope you have a happy Hallow's Eve, and a happy new year--*shot*

Shade: ....let's get this started.

Gears n' Roses Tale One and Act 1: Dust

"Sorry, but that's not real,"
Said the clerk wearing an "EBGames" seal.
"Dark-Hawk the Hero Killaz was a lie?"
Asked Dark-Hawk the Dark chao, face as blue as the sky.
"Now, get out," said the clerk, about to call the cops,
Until Dark-Hawk slipped on some props.

Dark Chao Adventures (Feature-Length!)
Halloween 2008: Gears n' Roses
[a HUGE story by DJay32, the bulk of which based on Gears of War by Epic Games]

Tale One.... The Tale of Dark-Hawk (Rival Survival)

[cut to EBGames; Dark-Hawk gets up from the props]
Clerk: Hey, you okay?
DH: Yeah, I'm fine. But, you gotta put, like, a wet-floor sign here, or something. What IS this stuff, anyway?
Clerk: Oh, that stuff? It's pee.
DH: WHAT!?
Clerk: Yeah, some kid named "Light-Hawk" came by earlier, and told me he was waiting for you to come by.
DH: Ruh.... really? Where is he now?
Clerk: He said he was going to the parking lot.
[Dark-Hawk realizes Knuckles' car is in the parking lot, and Knuckles is the one who drove him here]
DH: Oh..... CRAP! *dashes out of store*
[suspiciously, nobody else is around]
[Dark-Hawk is halfway between EBGames and the shopping mall's parking lot before all the lights go off]
DH: Wha? Who's there?
[he spots somebody running nearby]
DH: Hello? Who's that?
[a potted plant is knocked over]
DH: Whoa!
[a bright light shines on him]
DH: AAAH! *covers eyes*
[he looks, and notices it's a clothes shop with its lights on]
DH: ........?
[Dark-Hawk peeks into the shop, and sees nothing but lots of clothes at not-too cheap prices]
[he walks into the store, and sees a chao emotiball thing run behind a wall]
[he checks behind the wall, and finds a maintenance shaft]
[in the mainenance shaft, he sees his Hero brother, Light Hawk, sitting, with his back turned to the camera and Dark-Hawk]
DH: Larry? ....Larry, are you okay?
LH: ..........go away..... Derek.
DH: Seriously, bro, you're creeping me out.
LH: I said.... GO.... AWAY.
DH: But--
[Light-Hawk turns around, shouting "GO!"; the camera does not show his face]
[Dark-Hawk freaks out, screams, and runs away]
[he runs into a nearby restroom, chooses a stall, and locks himself in there]
[fifteen minutes of shuddering later, Dark-Hawk is about to leave his stall when he hears lots of banging and crashing]
DH: L....Light-Hawk? Larry? You..... is that you?
LH?: .......................................*inaudible*
DH: ...wh...what?
LH?: .......*inaudible, yet louder*
DH: One more time.
LH?: .....................die.....
DH: ...."die?"
LH?: .....DIE.
DH: What is going ON out *opens stall*--HOLY ****!!!
[outside the stall, everything is covered with blood, the mirrors are cracked, and the ceiling looks like a big, black hole]
[but, the freakiest thing is Light-Hawk. ...who is NOT there.]
DH: L...L......Light-Hawk?
[the blood on the mirror in front of Dark-Hawk is arranged to spell, "Say 'Hello' to Light-Hawk for me!"]
DH: ......................whuh...
[Dark-Hawk breaks down in tears, and runs out of the bathroom]
DH: No......... NOOOOOOO!!!
[the entire mall is covered in blood; the lights are on]
DH: No... no.... no, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
[he runs to the parking lot, and sees Knuckles' car]
[it's the only thing in the entire mall that is NOT covered in blood; Knuckles is in the driver's seat, asleep]
DH: I just wanna get outta here...
[before he reaches the car, he trips on something]
DH: Oof! What the? ........NO! NO!!!
[he notices that he tripped on his brother's corpse]
DH: *sob* Larry...... who did this to you?! WHO?!
LH: ......you.
DH: AAAHH! *hops backwards, crawls backwards to Knuckles' car*
[Light-Hawk's body gets up, the camera reveals its face-- one eye is completely missing, its mouth is sewn shut, and tons of scars are all over it]
[also, he's missing an arm, and he has three tails]
DH: Buddy..... please... what happened to you?
[the corpse begins floating in mid-air, and slowly hovers closer to him]
[it also begins chanting the following line:]
LH: Help..... help me, mommy....... the bad man tore my eye out.... the bad man tore my arm off..... the bad man gave me three tails.... the bad man gave me scars...... the bad man sew my mouth shut.... the bad man will die.
[Dark-Hawk gets up, and tries opening the car door; it's locked]
DH: KNUCKLES! *BANG BANG BANG* LET ME IN! *BANG BANG BANG* LET ME IN!!! *sob* PLEASE!
[Dark-Hawk looks in the window, and sees Knuckles glaring at him; he screams]
[Knuckles has one eye, tons of scars, his mouth is sewn shut, he's missing an arm, and has three tails]
[and no matter how much Dark-Hawk cries, and begs, and pleads.... Knuckles just glares]
[and Light-Hawk slowly hovers closer]
[Light-Hawk eventually grabs Dark-Hawk, and melts into the ground along with him]
DH: HELP!!!!!
[as the camera zooms out, Dark-Hawk wakes up, screaming]
[he stops, pants, and looks around, frantically-- he's in the Dark Garden]
[the others are startled by his screams]
Shade: WHOA!!! *yawn* What is it?
DH: I.....I had the most horrible dream.... I dreamt my brother... was killed, and then pulled a Silent Hill on me.
Shade: He became a scary-looking zombie, and pulled you into the darkness?
DH: Yeah!
Shade: Just..... shut up, and get some sleep. Tomorrow's Halloween, remember?
DH: Oh, yeah...
Shade: But, we gotta go to freaking SCHOOL tomorrow.
DH: Man, that sucks.
Shade: Just..... *yawn* Try.... to sleep...
DH: Okay....
[as Dark-Hawk lies down, he smiles]
Shade: ........by the way, have you heard of the new game, "Dark-Hawk the Hero Killaz?"
[Dark-Hawk's eyes open; fade to black as he screams]


Tale Two.... The Tale of Metal Sonic (Shade and Dark Against the World)

[it's Halloween Day! But, the chao are stuck in school...]
[at least Mister Prower is letting the chao wear their Halloween costumes to school]
[Shade is playing hooky from school once again (and yet, he's just exploring the school) when he finds the basement door]
Shade: Heh. I remember this place. There's a time machine in there. It leads to the future. Speaking of which, I wonder how my future self is doing?
Dark: Shade?
Shade: Whoa! ...don't sneak up on me, Dark. Especially not when I'm playing hooky.
Dark: Ooh! I wanna play, I wanna play!
Shade: I got a better idea. Let's get everyone to come to the future!
Dark: Uh... any particle manure RAISIN (particular reason)?
Shade: Call it a field trip, but really, I just wanna see how future me's doing.
Dark: ....I'll go get my purse.
[cut to all the chao gathered around the time machine]
SShade: What's going on? I was told the principal wanted to see me.
Shade: Oh, he does. ....sort of. So.... what are YOU dressed up as?
SShade: Uh... I'm gonna be GIR, from Invader ZIM. He's just too cute to pass up!
Shade: Red, what about you?
Red: Trust me, my costume has GOT to be the scariest.
Dark: Bet it's not too scary.
Red: I'm a Halo fan.
[everyone screams]
Shade: GET HIM AWAY FROM ME! GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!
Dark: UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!
Chao: SAVE US!
Dark: That's even scarier than MY costume!
Shade: Dark..... you're a toaster. Again.
Dark: I know; ain't I the scariest?
Red: So, what about YOU, Shade?
Shade: I think I'm even scarier than Red this time. ...or, maybe just more original.
Red: What ARE you? You look like a nerdy jock.
Shade: I'm a person who hates Rock Band because I think it copied Guitar Hero.
[Dark punches Shade]
Shade: OW!
Dark: You moron will never get to play Green Grass and High Tides! You're missing out!
Shade: Dark, I'm only PRETENDING to be an idiot! I love that song!
Dark: Oh, yeah.
[pause]
[Dark punches Shade]
Shade: DARK!
Dark: Sorry.
Shade: Okay, time for Chao to embarrass himself.
Chao: I'm the creature from Stephen King's "It." Or, to be more precise, I'm Pennywise the clown!
Dark: *shudder* That movie was SCARY.
Shade: Who's next? Who's our next costume person?
Shadow: ME NEXT! I don't get enough air time!
Shade: All right, Shadow. What are you?
Shadow: I'm the weird girl person from The Messengers!
Dark: I didn't see that movie.
Shade: I did. It was.... scary. Definitely. I had to change the channel at one point because I was so scared.
Chao: Pfft. Baby.
Shade: Shut up, PENNYWISE. The Messengers was scarier than It.
Chao: Yeah, but It was longer than The Messengers!
Shade: So what?
Red: quiet n00bs
SShade: ....that was the BEST impression of a Halo fan I've EVER HEARD!
Red: Thanks. I've been practicing.
Shade: What about YOU, Chaosky?
Chy: Oh, I'm nothing much. I'm a vampire! Bluuuuuuh!
Shade: ....weird.
Chy: I know. Isn't it spooky?
SB: Yeah, well.... I'm a Hero Chao.
Chao: I find that offens--
Shade: We don't care.
Chao: But I didn't even fini--
Shade: Don't give a crap.
Chao: But. ................*long pause*........
Shade: Still don't care. Hey, why aren't you guys wearing costumes?
Ph: I forgot it's Halloween.
DH: Same here.
Shade: *sigh* You guys don't care much for our adventures, do you? I mean, it's Halloween. We do a TON of crazy things today.
Chao: Last year, I went into a haunted bathroom.
Shade: And you guys KNOW we do crazy things on Halloween, yet you didn't even put on some nice clothes? Disgraceful.
Chao: We're gonna tell your parents about this.
Ph: YOU'RE NOT EVEN MY REAL MOM! *sob*
DH: YOU DON'T REMEMBER WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE THIS AGE!
Dark: Great, you made them cry.
Shade: ENOUGH!!!
[they stop crying]
Shade: We're drifting a bit too far off-topic, here! I haven't even told you why I brought you down here!
Chao: So, WHY are we here, again?
Shade: It's... uh.... Dark!
Dark: It's a school sanctuary (sanctioned) field trip.
Chao: Hmm... I doubt that.
Shade: Dark, plan B.
Dark: Got it!
[Shade locks the door, and Dark farts]
[all the chao run into the time machine; Shade gives Dark a high-five, then dashes into the time machine, covering his nose]
[cut to Future CPAK basement]
Chao: So... NOW what?
Shade: Now, we go to the Dark Garden. ...for education purposes.
[in the Dark Garden, things are once again in flames]
Shade: OH, COME ON!!!
[the future Shade comes out, wearing a cowboy hat]
ShadeF: Hey. Uh... you may be wondering why everything's still ****ed up.
Shade: MAYBE! I thought I took care of everything!
ShadeF: Well, Metal Sonic is back.
Shade: I thought I destroyed--
ShadeF: Heh heh heh.... no, I'm afraid you're WRONG.
Shade: Wruh.... wrong?
ShadeF: Yep. You only destroyed Metal Solaris, Metal's crazy form from the Sonic the Hedgehog Betas.
Dark: You have a thing for Betas, Shade.
Shade: I know....
ShadeF: Of course, we all know... Metal Solaris doesn't really exist.
Shade: Rats... curse you, Sonic Team.
ShadeF: Yeah, so he returned, and has already destroyed the gardens. He told me he wanted you.
Shade: Really? Where is he now?
ShadeF: On the Earth somewhere.
Shade: The Earth is still alive in this ****ed-up future?
ShadeF: Just barely.
Shade: Well, guys? You wanna hunt him down?
[the others display signs of agreement]
Shade: Sweet!
[they arrive on Earth when they're surrounded by robots with guns]
Robot: Halt! Thou art Shade, yea?
Shade: Yea.
Robot: Thou art dead, then! Cometh with me!
Shade: No!
[the robots knock Shade out while everyone else runs away]
[Shade is thrown into a prison]
DUST: 14 HOURS AFTER E-DAY
[Shade is in his cell, thinking]
[he hears Dark]
Dark: Sam n' Max, rip open that door!
[sparks fly; the door busts down; Dark is there next to a flying robot]
Shade: You could get into a LOT o' trouble for doing this.
Dark: We're gonna stop Metal anyway, so who cares? You ready to go?
Shade: Yep.
[they run out of the cell, and Shade notices the whole prison is extremely destroyed]
Shade: Man, I was only gone, like, five minutes, and ALREADY they've trashed the place.
Dark: We got a choice. We can go back the way I came, through the guard's quarters; it takes time, but it's safe; or we can cut through those places down there and go right to the fight.
Shade: Let's go through those places down there. I'm ready to kick some butt.
[Shade grabs an assault rifle, and heads down the corridors]
[Shade and Dark fight some robots, and make it out of the prison]
Dark: Uh, *radio* Redd Fox, this is Cap'n Falcon; I have retrieved Shades of Gray, over. Please pick us up, over.
Red: Copy that.
[a helicopter lands about fifty feet away]
Red: By the way, I see summin' below ground.
Dark: I think I see it, too. What are we lookin' at?
Red: Hell if I know!
Shade: Run!
[Shade and Dark run, action move-style, to the helicopter; it takes off]
DUST: TRIAL BY FIREFIGHTERS
[in the helicopter, there are Shadow the chao, and Future Shade]
Shade: Future me?
ShadeF: 'Sup? They told me everything. You were pretty crazy to actually go to Earth.
Shade: Okay, so I was. Could you tell me a bit more about this predicament?
ShadeF: *smirk* Oh, you'd LIKE to learn about it, wouldn't you?
Shade: Awesome, you're being mysterious again-- TELL ME THE DETAILS!
ShadeF: He came to the garden in a rage. He wanted you. What more is there to say?
Shade: What about these random forces he has?
ShadeF: Yeah, when he came to the garden, he had two weird robots with him. I'm sure I've seen them before somewhere... wait, one was a doll.
Shade: Mecha Knuckles and the Tails Doll!
ShadeF: Yeah, those two. That's about all I know. ...or all I can tell you.
Shade: I hate it when you do that.
Shadow: Guys, we're arriving at MC Square!
Shade: MC Square? Why are we going there?
ShadeF: We're going there to rendezvous with Doctor Eggman.
Shade: Eggman's still alive?
Dark: Apparently so.
[the helicopter lands, and they get off]
Egg: A traitor like you doesn't deserve to fight in this war!
Shade: What did I do?
ShadeF: He says that to everyone today. He thinks everyone's a traitor.
Shadow: Enemies!
Dark: We got 'em.
[Dark and Shadow hide behind sandbags and shoot at the robots]
Egg: Shade.... Future Shade, I mean.
ShadeF: Yep?
Egg: We have the lightmass ka-boomamahogonafunifyeramajigger-o-matic! Using this, we can hit those sons of--
[an explosion nearby drowns out Eggman's swear]
Egg: --where they live!
ShadeF: And... where do they live?
Egg: We do not know! That is why we need that resonator!
ShadeF: And... where is the resonator?
Egg: We do not know! I gave it to Alpha Squadron a while back, but they can't be trusted for squat!
ShadeF: And... where is Alpha Squadron?
Egg: We do not know! Last we heard, they were here, in MC Square!
?: Yes, and I recommend we get out of here, now!
[in a second helicopter is a beautiful woman]
Egg: Shade, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Elicia. I want you two to get married some day, and get me some grandkids.
ShadeF: Sir, she's... she's stunning.
Egg: Which is why she's perfect for you. You're my best soldier, Shade. I just wanted to repay you. Elicia, come say hi!
[RAWR!!!]
[Eggman and ShadeF stare at the helicopter, of which there is none anymore]
[all that is left is a big hole in the ground]
[awkward silence]
ShadeF: .......damn.
Egg: El....Elicia...... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
[Eggman falls to the ground, sobbing]
ShadeF: (whispering, to Shade) Let's get going.
Shade: Got it.
[Delta Squad: ShadeF, leader; Shade, second; Dark, third; Shadow, grunt]
[they walk away, towards a large building]
Shadow: So, what's the plan?
ShadeF: We need to find Alpha Squad, and get that resonator.
Dark: Whoa. Sounds deep.
ShadeF: It'll be hard. Very.
[they enter a large church]
[a big hole appears, and robots crawl out of it]
ShadeF: Grubs!
[they take care of the robots]
[as they walk out of the church, and down a path, they talk]
Shade: So... what's with these holes and stuff?
ShadeF: It started a while back. Holes opened in the streets... robots crawled out, and killed almost everyone.
Dark: Ooh! Tell us more!
ShadeF: We think it has to do with secret underground factories or something. Still, it makes life more interesting.
[they find some dead bodies next to a hole]
DUST: MORE FUN THAN FISH IN A BARREL
Dark: ...is this Alpha?
ShadeF: Could be. Hey, Shadow! Is that object the resonator?
Shadow: *checks* ...nah.
ShadeF: *radio* Eggman. We checked some dead bodies. No sign of resonator. Where's the next target?
[radio chatter]
ShadeF: I see. Wilco. *radio off* Next target's House of Solvitude. Just down this path.
[a robot arms a turret]
ShadeF: Crap! Take down that droideka!
Shade: You mean troika?
ShadeF: Whatever! Shade, flank right!
Shade: What? Me? Why?
ShadeF: GO!
Shade: Eah!
[Shade dashes across the area, going around to some alleyways]
Shade: *pant* I... I think I was just... SHOT.
[Shade peeks around a corner, and notices the troika turret guy]
Shade: All right, Troika Turret Robot... time for YOU to get shot.... with my FIST!
[Shade is about to punch the robot in the back of the neck when Dark shouts on the radio]
Dark: HEY, SHADE, DID YOU KILL HIM YET?!
[the Troika Turret Robot turns to face Shade, and points his gun at him]
Shade: Crap! Thanks, Dark!
Dark: Shade, don't forget your gun has a chainsaw bayonet!
Shade: Really? Oh, that's cool. Now, how do you work this thing?
[the robot is still pointing its gun at him]
Shade: Hmm... *beep* *chainsaw whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* Bingo!
Robot: CRAP SENSORS OVERFLOWING!
[Shade chainsaws the robot in half]
Dark: Thanks, Shade! *radio off*
[they continue, and are ambushed by four holes!]
[each hole, which we'll call an "O CRAP HOLE," is a passage for somewhere between 5-10 robots to crawl out before it magically closes]
ShadeF: We got four O CRAP holes! Either grenade them, or shoot the robots that come out!
[after a long battle, they take care of all four]
[they continue, but the road crashes behind them, preventing any backtracking]
DUST: FORK IN ROAD, GUN IN FACE
ShadeF: Hmm... the road splits into two here. Dark, you and Shade will go right. Shadow and I will go left.
Dark: Okay.
Shade: Fine.
Shadow: Yay!
[the two corridors are connected by some barred-up openings, so the two teams can communicate]
Dark: Oh, boy, Shade! Isn't this exciting? You and me, kicking butt and taking names, in the FUTURE?
Shade: I suppose. But, I'm getting too old for this stuff!
Dark: But... I'm older than YOU!
Shade: You know what I mean!
Dark: Yeah...
ShadeF: You two, make sure you're ready. I hear robots.
[the robots charge forward, but are instantly shot]
[the two groups find a building, and enter it through different entrances]
[Shade and Dark's path takes them around a corner to a long hallway, where a Troika is shooting them]
Shade: Holy--!
Dark: Ouchies!
Shade: Future me! Can you take down the Troika from your position?
ShadeF: I think so!
[a few shots later, they continue on]
[then, the paths connect, and ANOTHER Troika!]
[after taking care of that one, they make it outside]
DUST: KNOCK KNOCK, WHO'S THERE? AMBUSHED! AMBUSHED WHO? AMBUSHED, WHAT ABOUT YOU?
ShadeF: There's the House of Solvitude. C'mon, let's--
[BOOM!]
[something is seen moving below ground, something HUGE]
ShadeF: Run. NOW!
[they run to the front steps of the House of Solvitude; it's a mix between a courtyard and a staircase]
[the underground monster thing goes away]
Dark: Is it safe?
[the doors break open, and robots come pouring out]
ShadeF: Negatory! OPEN FIRE!
[budda budda budda budda budda budda]
[a robot grabs Dark and runs off]
Dark: SHADE!!!
Shade: Holy crap!
[Shade runs after him]
[Dark is taken inside the building; Shade chases]
Shadow: There's too many!
ShadeF: C'mon, Shade... hurry up.
[the robots surround them]
ShadeF: Uh... uh...
Shadow: EAT CHAINSAW, ROBOT SCUM!
[Shadow drives his chainsaw through hordes of robots]
ShadeF: ....wow. Wasn't expecting that.
[Shade returns, Dark behind him]
Shade: Need help?
ShadeF: Maybe!
[Shade and Dark join in the chainsawing]
[eventually, the robots die down]
All: *pant*
Dark: That was intense.
[another door breaks down, and a grenadier walks out]
ShadeF: Boomer!
Dark: A what?
ShadeF: He's a big guy who blows people up.
[a robot runs out, and equips a Troika; a few others help it]
Shade: We got a Troika!
ShadeF: Aw, ****! Shade, you take the Troika; Dark, take down the others. Shadow and I will fight the Boomer.
[the Boomer shoots a rocket; the chao duck; the rocket hits the Troika]
ShadeF: That was convenient. Everyone, attack the Boomer!
[overkill]
[they duck behind some sandbags]
ShadeF: Everyone, report in!
Shade: I'm alive.
Dark: I'm.... fine.
Shadow: I'm okay, but... I think there's something wrong with my gun! It keeps jamming! See?
[Shadow steps up to show ShadeF the gun, but is instantly shot in the head]
Dark: Shi--
ShadeF: SNIPERS!!!
[there are snipers outside the building]
Shade: Eff this; let's run into the building!
ShadeF: Good idea. Let's go, you two.
[they run in]
DUST: HAMMER TIME
[up some stairs, they reach a balcony overlooking a small garden]
ShadeF: How are we doing?
Dark: We're fine, but... damn, man. Shadow...
Shade: Yeah...
?: Ha! Eat lead, mother*gunfire*!!!
Shade+ShadeF: That voice...
Dark: What? What voice?
[they look into the garden, and see a Neutral chao fighting robots]
ShadeF: How is he...
Shade: It's a long story, Future me. ...and I think you were there.
Dark: How is WHO?
Shade: It's Cham, Dark!
Dark: .....WHAAAAT!?
Shade: Long story! Let's save him.
ShadeF: Right.
[they run down some stairs and get out to the garden; they destroy all the robots]
Cham: Thanks.
ShadeF: Are you Alpha Squad?
Cham: Yep.
ShadeF: We're Delta. Where's the rest of you?
Cham: Trapped on a rooftop.
ShadeF: Seriously?
Cham: Seriously. C'mon, let's go save them.
ShadeF: ...sure.
[they run up some stairs, and smell something horrible]
Shade: Phew! Dude... Dark, did you fart?
Dark: No, that smells nothing like me.
Cham: Those are Metal's seeders, man. They jam up the radios, and just smell terrible.
ShadeF: Seeders? What do they look like?
[ROOOOAAAAAARRRR!!!!]
[outside a window, they see a giant robot plant thing buried in the ground]
Cham: That, sir.
ShadeF: *looks around* *notices something* Shade, Dark, grab those weapons on the ground.
[they do]
Dark: Permission to ask what the hell these things are?
ShadeF: Granted.
Dark: Thanks. ....WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE THINGS?
ShadeF: It's a Hammer of Dawn of War. Super powerful weapons. I think they can take down those seeders. Test them.
Shade: Uh... okay.
[they go outside onto more balconies; Shade and Dark fire the Hammers of Dawn of War at the seeder]
Shade: Nothing's happening!
ShadeF: Keep the button held down!
[pause]
[OMG HAX GIANT LAZER OF DOOM AND DESTRUCTION WTF LOL LOL LEET HAX]
[oh, and since both are using them, that means TWO GIANT LAZERZ OF DOOM AND DESTRUCTION WTF LOL LOL LEET HAX]
[the seeder is dead]
Dark: Yeah, it better be.
[they move on]
DUST: WRAITH
[they go through the House of Solvitude, fighting robots, when they find another seeder]
ShadeF: ....bomb the hell out of it.
Dark: ROKK!!
[OMG HAX GIANT LAZER OF DOOM AND DESTRUCTION WTF LOL LOL LEET HAX]
Dark: Hey, I think it's dead! Yeah! It's dead--
[Dark falls of the ledge]
Cham: .....see ya.
Shade: Wha-buh....
[ShadeF and Cham are walking towards the next room]
Shade: You're just gonna leave him there?
Cham: Sure.
Shade: Well, I'm going in after him! *dives off ledge*
[pause]
Cham: .....idiot.
ShadeF: Yeah, I was pretty stupid back then.
Cham: Hold on. If he's the past you, then doesn't that mean YOU went through all this back then?
ShadeF: Nope.
Cham: ......and where's the effing LOGIC in that?
ShadeF: Logic? Chao don't use logic. We use--
[RUMBLE RUMBLE]
[Shade does an epic action movie-style jump out of a huge explosion in slow-mo, holding Dark]
Dark: Thanks.
Shade: Eh, I like using action movie powers.
Cham: So, no explanations for anything?
ShadeF: Nothing that matters. Just the story. That's all I focus on.
Cham: All YOU focus on?
ShadeF: All I focus on.
Shade: C'mon, let's keep going!
ShadeF: Hang on. *radio* Shade to da Walrus. How you doin', Beatle-Juice?
Egg: Stop calling me names. You defeated all three seeders, correct?
ShadeF: All..... three?
Egg: Yes. Three.
Shade: Psst. I killed him with the awesome action move-style explosion.
ShadeF: Um... yeah, we got 'em.
Egg: Good. We have recieved contact with Alpha. I'll let you talk to them.
[RADIO SWITCH]
?: Where the Hero Garden ARE you guys?
ShadeF: ..........Chao?
Chao: Shade? Wait, no. FUTURE Shade, right? YOU'RE Delta Squad?
ShadeF: Yeah. Why? Where are you guys?
Chao: We're trapped on YOUR rooftop, being gunned down by the 'bots and some Troikas!
ShadeF: The roof.... wilco. Moving to your position.
[RADIO OFF]
Dark: Hey, Future Shade?
ShadeF: Yes, Dark?
Dark: What's "wilco" mean?
ShadeF: I don't know. Lemme check Wikipedia. ....it's either a band from Illinois, or a shortened form of "Will comply."
Dark: Are they a rock band?
ShadeF: I already exited Internet Explorer, so... I don't know.
Dark: Oh.
[they go to the rooftop, but not before killing some robots and having fun with it]
[on the rooftop, they notice lots of bots in the streets below]
ShadeF: Shade, Cham, you two take the Troikas that are here somehow. Dark, you and I will just randomly shoot things we see.
Dark: I like this plan.
[budda budda budda budda]
[BANG BANG BOOOOOM!]
[KA-BLAM!]
[eventually, the streets become empty]
ShadeF: C'mon, let's go! *radio* Redd Fox, this is Future Shade dude of no point, we have Alpha Squad. Requesting pick-up.
Red: Cowabunga, dude!
[RADIO OFF]
[down in the streets, ShadeF, Shade, Cham, Dark, Chao, Quartz, and Aqua are awaiting Red to fly by with his helicopter]
[they see him approaching]
[Shade notices some robots following it]
[a flying robot hits Red's 'copter, sending it spiraling down]
[the robots charge in and start killing]
[the chao duck for cover]
[basically, carnage city]
[Shade looks and notices ShadeF out in the streets, telling the others to do some random military movement]
[he also sees a familiar figure in a black cape slowly and very dramatically walking towards ShadeF in the midst of the gunfire]
[it walks up behind ShadeF; ShadeF turns and screams]
[it picks ShadeF up, points its random super epic sword to the sky, then...]
[STAB! STAB! STAB!]
[it tosses ShadeF's dead body to the ground]
[all while a voice speaks in a voice-over]
? (Voice-over): Our plan is going smoothly. It's like dealing with a snake.
[it looks directly at Shade]
? (VO): Cut off the head of the snake..... and the body dies.
[Shade had watched the whole murder, and is now very, very freaked out]
? (VO): We will win this war. It's only a matter of time.
[Shade directs the others into the building behind them... the Tomb of the Well-Known Soldier]
DUST: LITTLE CHINA SHOP OF HORRORS
Shade: Is everyone okay?
Chao: Great, you got us into another mess, Shade.
Shade: Chao...
Chao: Yeah, that's right. Question is, who are you?
[pause]
Shade: C'mon, you've known me for years now.
Chao: I am only messing with you, Shade.
Shade: Yeah, yeah. *radio* Egghead? Future me is dead, and we're trapped in the Tomb of the Well-Known Soldier.
Egg: Repeat, Delta; Shade is dead?
Shade: Yes. KIA (Killed In Action).
Egg: Uh... okay, well, there should be a courtyard at the other end of the building. That's your best bet.
[RADIO OFF]
[CRASH!!!!!!!! ROAAAARRRR!!!!]
Aqua: What was that?
Shade: Shh! Be very, VERY quiet.
[normally, in the game, this is where you would see what's making the noise, but NOT THIS TIME!]
[and since future Shade is dead, he can't tell you!]
Dark: What IS it, Shade?
Shade: I.... I'm not sure.
Aqua: Oh, no. Oh, no! Oh, ****! ****! We're gonna die! I don't wanna die! NO!!
Qz: Let's get the crap outta this dump!
[Quartz and Aqua run down the narrow hallway, and turn a corner, but scream]
[the light casts their shadows as Shade, Dark, and Chao's jaws drop]
Cham: What.... what IS that....... that THING?
Shade: I... I... I think....
[the shadows show Aqua and Quartz being thoroughly beaten and killed by a large, crazy, upgraded.... Mecha Knuckles]
[oh, and blood splatters, too, so it's freakier]
Chao: Mech....Mecha....?
Dark: Shade, what will we do?
Shade: Relax. Dark and I said we'd get you guys outta here, so that's what we're gonna do. Dark, follow me.
[Cham and Chao are left standing in the dark, narrow hallway, all alone]
Cham: Shade is a very, very annoying person.
Chao: You have a LOT to learn, Cham. Plus, I thought you knew us from BEFORE episode 1?
Cham: You guys didn't communicate much.
[cut to Shade and Dark walking down an even darker hallway, which cuts into a large room]
[they are slowly walking, looking around in fear, and they hear lots of little noises coming from everywhere]
[footsteps to the right-- nothing there]
[shadows in front of them-- nothing there]
[doorway to their left-- what's in here?]
[it's just an empty hallwayMECHA KNUCKLES BROKE IN THROUGH THE WALL HOLY CRAP]
MK: RAWR! ROAAR! I CAN SMELL CHAO! DARK CHAO!
Dark: How can you SMELL us? You're a ROBOT!
MK: I WAS UPGRADED TO BE ABLE TO SMELL AND TASTE. BUT, I AM NOW... blind...
Shade: Dark, I recommend you don't talk to him.
MK: Ruh? And why NOT...... *sniff*.... SHADE?
[Shade gulps]
MK: Oh, you smell DIFFERENT than you normally do..... you smell.... YOUNGER.
Shade: Um...
MK: Ah, I was curious how you were here despite the boss having killed you.
Shade: Wait.... "the boss?" You don't mean... that familiar figure who killed future me-- URP!
MK: "Future me?" Bingo.... my hunch was.... CORRECT. You're.... the Shade from..... BACK... then..... when I was a YOUNG robot. A ROBOT..... with sight.
Dark: But... but you can smell things now!
MK: You can stop moving BACKWARDS now. I know you're edging to the door. My smell and sound is THAT good.
Dark: What... wha.... what are you going to....
MK: Oh, not MUCH. Just....... bash. Your skulls..... in... two.
Dark: What's with the odd speech?
MK: It adds to the suspense, and makes it seem like I'm a rather senseless piece of mecha. But, I'm quite intelligent, you see. Intelligent enough to know how to expose your GUTS.
Shade: Dark, maybe we should run.
Dark: Maybe.
MK: Hey. HEY! Don't. Don't. Stop. Right now.
[they run]
MK: *groan* They always..... RUN. But I always.......... catch.... them.
[cut to Shade and Dark, hiding somewhere, hearing odd noises everywhere]
Dark: Shade, this is bad. This is very, very bad.
Shade: Keep quiet, Dark! *radio* Eggman, we have a bezerk Mecha Knuckles in the vicinity. PLEASE advise.
Egg: OH CRAP NO. A Bezerk Mecha? This isn't good... um... okay, okay, let's see... do you still have the Hammer of Dawn of War?
Shade: Affirmative.
Egg: Get him outside, and burn the crap out of him.
Shade: Copy that.
Egg: But, hurry! You only have minutes of satellite coverage before the hammers stop working!
[RADIO OFF]
Dark: So... Shade... what do we do?
Shade: Unfortunately, all we gotta do is get him to follow us.
Dark: Aw, ****. I'm not liking this mission we're in.
Shade: C'mon. Let's try and find a way out.
[they walk very slowly, and find another long hallway with a breakable door at the other end]
[STOMP STOMP]
[Dark whimpers; Shade shushes him]
[they hear Mecha humming "The Wheels on the Bus;" it's coming from the hall behind them]
[they slowly turn around, and see Mecha, facing them, sniffing around]
MK: *sniff* I... I smell...... I smell chao.
[Mecha walks into the hall and starts smelling around]
MK: Now..... where..... are those smells.... coming from?
[Shade gestures for Dark to follow him down the hall; they slowly step away]
MK: Hmm... the smells.... are gone. WHERE... ARE.... they?
[Dark falls over and grunts; Mecha's head instantly turns to face him]
MK: Que pasa, Dark? Fall? ....hit your... head?
Dark: (mouths the word "Shade")
Shade: (mouths "Keep quiet")
[Mecha steps towards Dark, and sniffs around]
MK: Dark...... I think... you would die.... easily.
Shade: Uh.... uh.... RUN, DARK!
[Dark gets up and runs; Shade shoots Mecha]
MK: It's useless to.... SHOOT me, Shade. Guns... are...... futile. But, my fists AREN't! *charges at Dark*
Dark: NO!! *SMACK* ACK!
[Dark falls over as Mecha hits his leg]
Dark: Help me, Shade! *crying* I... I'm gonna die!
Shade: Hey, Mecha freak! Over here! *shoots Mecha*
[Mecha turns to face Shade, who is standing in front of the breakable door]
MK: I told you... shooting.... is futile. Or, should I... REMIND... you?
Shade: Do your worst.
MK: ......okay.
[Mecha charges at Shade, who dives to the side at the last second]
[CRASH!]
[Mecha busted the breakable door down]
[through the door, Shade sees another corridor]
MK: Ugh.... man, what'd I hit? Just.... just hold on, Shade, I'll get to you... in a minute. ....I need Tylenol.
[Shade sneaks past him, and into the corridor]
[past the corridor is another long hall with a breakable door at the end of it]
[Shade shoots Mecha]
MK: What? Shooting me.... again, Shade? Urgh......... all right, I suppose... I never taught you that... lesson, now... did I?
[Mecha charges at Shade, who directs him to the second breakable door]
[CRASH!]
MK: Oh, jeez.... you.... that hurt.
[through the door is a third corridor, behind which is ANOTHER breakable door]
[Shade goes through the whole cat-and-mouse again]
MK: Man, HANG ON. Let me just.... buff out... the dents in my head.
[Mecha's head magically de-dents itself]
[through THIS door.... is the outdoors]
[Shade gets Mecha outside, and equips the Hammer of Dawn of War]
MK: Damn... according to my robot nose... we're outside. Which means... your smell.... is magically AMPLIFIED!
Shade: Wha?
[Mecha charges at him, and Shade dodges]
Shade: I can't get a clear shot!
MK: *laughs* That's right, Shade. You can NEVER kill me. No matter what.
[Mecha grabs Shade]
MK: Now, time to die.
Shade: *gulp* Make it quick.
MK: Sorry. No can do. Poker Gang policy; it's got to be slow and painful!
[Mecha tosses Shade onto the ground, and prepares to jab at him with his fist]
[OMG HAX GIANT LAZER OF DOOM AND DESTRUCTION WTF LOL LOL LEET HAX]
MK: O CRAP WTF?!
[the laser ends, and Dark appears at the doorway holding a Hammer of Dawn of War]
Dark: It's just been revoked.
MK: Ugh.... Dark...... Shade....... I'll be back. You hear me? I... will... be.... BACK.
[Mecha runs away, breaking some buildings open in the process]
[Chao and Cham come out]
Chao: ....wow.
Cham: Hey, thanks, you two! We were sure goners there!
Shade: At least he's gone now. But, he'll be back. So, we'd better get moving.
[BEEP BEEP! RADIO!]
Shade: Yeah?
Egg: Do you have the resonator yet?
Shade: Uh...
Dark: I found it! It was on the ground! Mecha dropped it.
Shade: So, yeah, we have it.
Egg: Good. Now, you need to put that resonator where it belongs: in the middle of Metal Sonic's Factory Fright.
Shade: Metal Sonic's Factory of Fright?
Egg: Well... actually, it's just The Factory. It's pretty far from where you are. I'll send you the coordinates.
[SENT! RECIEVE'D!]
Shade: ....whoa. This is far.
Egg: Now, GET THERE!
[RADIO OFF]
Cham: How are we supposed to get THERE? That's not even in this city!
Dark: Don't worry; I have a plan.
Chao: Whatever your plan is, it'd better be quick. It's nearly nighttime!
Shade: So? You scared of the dark, or something? Anyway, let's get moving.