Wednesday, July 23, 2008

That was quick.

And now for a shorter Gray Journey filler episode...

Dark Chao Adventures Episode 45: Back to Chao World

[the story begins in the Chao Lobby; Shade, Dark, Red, Tail, Chao, Purflee (female), and Eggman are camping]
Egg: Wait, what am I doing here? I have a lab to attend to!
[Eggman leaves]
Chapter 1: The Departed
[everyone is asleep; Shade gets up, and walks to one of the walls/windows]
Shade: *sigh*
[Chao gets up, and goes to Shade]
Chao: What's wrong?
Shade: My plans never work. I mean, it was my plan to go to CPAK so we can live there after you-know-who bombed our gardens.
Chao: Aw, don't feel bad, Shade. I mean, uh.....................................................
Shade: Exactly. I might as well just give in to the Beta Avengers. They won this war.
Chao: *gasp* No way! You CAN'T give up, Shade!
Shade: Don't fool yourself anymore, Chao. They've been murdalizing us since Season Three.
Chao: I'm only doubting you because I have this odd feeling... this bizaare bit of hope... that tells me something.
Shade: What's it tell you?
Chao: It tells me that for some reason... the MILKMAN is on our side.
Shade: Pfft. Your hope's lying to you.
Chao: No, really. Just think about it for a moment.
Shade: *thinks* Look, I.... I just don't see it.
[Chao looks around, and notices something]
Chao: Hey, what's that? It looks like... a black sphere with a string attatched to it.
Shade: *pupils shrink* No. Way.
[Shade wakes everyone up, and gets them to the teleporter]
[the teleporter takes them to Earth]
PF: Hey, Shade.. what's going on?
Red: Yeah, why'd you wake us up?
Shade: There was a bomb in the Lobby.
[everyone shuts up]
Tail: You think it was Tagliare's doing?
Shade: I don't know... but, I know we're not safe here. We need to go to the Chao World.
Red: What!? Why?!
Dark: Yeah, last time we were there, me and Knuckle had a killing spree! Being killed by the Nomble is NOT fun, Shade!
Shade: I don't mean Chao Talk. I mean the actual planet.
Chao: I don't see your logic, Shade. They'll still find us. They'll still bomb us.
Shade: Not if we split up.
Shade: Calm down, Dark. You're gonna come with me.
Red: ...I don't wanna go.
Shade: Fine, you can stay here.
Red: Wh...what?
[Shade and Dark walk to some random Chao Transporter]
Red: You've changed, man. You've changed.
Shade: Change happens, Red. Get used to it. C'mon, Dark.
[Shade and Dark hop in the transporter, and Shade hits the "Goodbye" option]
Red: There goes the most ****ed up chao in the history of chao.
Tail: Tru dat.
[cut to Chao World; Shade and Dark magically teleport to a village of Dark chao]
Stalh: Welcome, newcom-- Shade? Dark? What are you two doing here?
Shade: We're avoiding the Beta Avengers.
Stalh: Huh, no kidding? Well, you can stay here, I suppose.
[they do]
[the time is 11:30; Shade and Dark are in a village hut, about to go to sleep]
Dark: Hey Shade?
Shade: Yeah, Dark?
Dark: Are we ever gonna go back to the Dark Garden?
Shade: ........I don't know.
Dark: Oh.
Shade: .....hey, Dark?
Dark: Yeah?
Shade: I was a little afraid to run away from everyone else like that.
Dark: Me, too.
Shade: ...thanks for coming with me.
Dark: You're welcome.
Shade: Goodnight.
Dark: Yeah, goodnight.
Chapter 2: There's a Mystery Afoot
[in the morning, cut to Shade]
Shade: *yawn* Good morning, Dark. .......Dark?
[Shade looks around]
Shade: Where am I?
[he is in a giant stadium]
Shade: What the **** what the **** what the **** WHAT THE ****!?
[Shade runs around a bit, and finds Chao]
Shade: Chao!?
Chao: Oh... hey, Shade.
Shade: What are you doing here!?
Chao: I decided to enter the transporter about a few hours after you.
Shade: Why would you do that?
Chao: Oh, um...... no reason.
Shade: ....(He's lying. I know it.) Okay. Anybody else come?
Chao: No.
Shade: Oh. .......where are we?
Chao: Dunno.
Powerful, booming voice: Attention, chao.
Chao: Yeah?
PBV: Uh... I mean, ALL chao.
Chao: Sorry.
PBV: You have been captured, and pit to battle each other to the death!
Shade: Why would we wanna do that?
PBV: I dunno. Hey, JOE, why do they wanna do that, again?
PBV: Oh, right, right. Because! There is no food here!
Chao: Wait, wait, WAIT. You want us to eat each other?
PBV: Yes! ......actually, that DOES sound stupid.
PBV: But.. I don't wanna KILL them... I just want to speak with--
PBV: Oh, come ON! That is actually a VERY stupid idea!
[sounds of a struggle]
DifferentPBV: *a-hem* You will now fight! NOW! No questions!
Chao: Heh. As if we'd REALLY do that.
Shade: Well, I HAVE been wanting to do this for a while now.
[Shade kicks Chao very, VERY hard]
Chao: Oof... really, Shade... do we have to fight?
Shade: No, I just wanted to do that. Really, I think the better idea would be to try and figure out who that powerful,

booming voice was.
Chao: Who those powerful, booming voices WERE.
Shade: Yeah.
Chao: Hmm... who could they--
Shade: MILKMAN and JOE.
Chao: Are you sure?
Shade: Positive. No question about it.
PBV: Uh.... pay no mind to the gray Dark chao down there!
Shade: See?
Chao: Ah.
Shade: Alright, MILKMAN... what do you want?
MM: .....uh...--
JOE: He doesn't want to speak with you!
Shade: I know; I asked what he DID want.
JOE: Oh. Uh... we want REVENGE!
Shade: For WHAT? You've been the ones killing US!
MM: He has a point, JOE.
JOE: No he DOESN'T! We want revenge for them being the original ones and we being betas!
Shade: Why not just join the show again instead of ruining it?
JOE: Um... uh.... NEVER!
Chapter 3: A Fight for Life
JOE: And if I can't make you fight.... maybe your friend CAN!
[Dark appears out of nowhere, eyes red]
Shade: Dark?
[Dark groans, and starts attacking Shade]
Shade: What did you do to him!?
JOE: Why, I gave him some fighting spirit, that's all.
Shade: You... bast--
[Dark attacks Shade; Shade dodges]
[Shade fights back]
JOE: Excellent...
Chao: Shade, don't fight!
Shade: But... but...
[Dark punches him in the jaw]
Shade: ACK! *smacks Dark* Sorry, buddy!
JOE: That's right... fight. Fight your best friend...
[they fight for a full 5 minutes]
Shade: Dark... please, snap out of it.
[Shade dodges; a package falls out of Dark's pocket]
Shade: Wait, since when did Dark have a pocket?
[I don't know. Where else would he keep the package?]
Shade: Eh.
[Shade grabs the package, and has a flashback]
(flashback) Dark: He gave me this package... and I musn't open it until we're completely stumped, screwed, and/or confused.
Shade: Well, I'm screwed and confused right now. I'll open it.
[Shade opens the package, and screams]
Shade: OH, HERO CHAOS! **** **** **** **** ****!!!!
Chao: What is it, Shade?
Shade: Inside this package.... is a BOMB! And a GPS.
GPS: You have now reached your final destination.
Shade: Shut up!
[Shade grabs the GPS, and tosses it]
Shade: This bomb... it's set to blow up... in one minute!
JOE: So you discovered my plan. So what? There is no escaping the MARTY BOMB!
Shade: *gasp* YOU were Marty!
JOE: Indeed... I tricked your little friend, and now you will all DIE!!!
[Dark jumps towards Shade, but Shade dives to a side]
[they fight for another 5 minutes]
JOE: Excellent. Keep fighting.... yes...
Chao: Shade, stop fighting! This is exactly what he WANTS you to do!
Shade: Really? Okay, I'll stop.
Chao: You're not really gonna stop, are you?
[Shade continues attacking Dark]
Chao: *sigh* Oh, boy.
[Chao decides to walk over to the bomb]
Chao: When is this thing set to set off? ......O SNAP.
[cut to a minute later; Shade and Dark fighting]
[Shade notices that Chao is gone]
Shade: What the?!
[Shade stops fighting, and takes a look at the bomb]
Shade: O SNAP, 30 SECONDS!?
JOE: *evil laughter* And you cannot escape!
Shade: What are you talking about?
[Echo appears, and joins Dark in the fight]
Shade: Aw, crap...
Chapter 4: Continuation
[Shade runs away, but Echo blocks the exit]
Echo: Sorry, but I'm afraid you can't lea--
[Shade smacks Echo, and runs through the exit]
Echo: What the ****?
JOE: Echo! Grab that bomb and chase him!
Echo: ...fine. *grabs bomb, chases him*
JOE: Dark, chase him, as well!
Dark: RAAAAWR! *chases*
[Shade is running frantically]
Shade: Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh
crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh CRAP!
[Shade runs past a random alley where Chao grabs him and pulls him to safety; Echo and Dark run past]
Shade: .....what just happened?
Chao: We were the victims of a filler. Dark didn't make it out alive.
Shade: Wait... did you just say "filler?"
Chao: I did? ****, I meant to say "bombing!" I ****ed up the line, I'm sorry.... can we try this again?
Shade: .....what just happened?
Chao: We were the victims of a bombing. Dark didn't make it ou*laughter* I-I--I can't do it!
Shade: *laugh* Dude, you really ****ed up. You really ****ed up.
Chao: I just... I just can't *laugh* I can't finish the line! I'm sorry!
[pause; laughter dies down]
Chao: Okay.... okay... let's try this one more time.
Shade: .....what just happ--*laughter* ****!!!
Chao: See, now YOU'VE got it!
Shade: Yeah... heh..........hoo............................... I think it's gone now.
Chao: You think so--*laugh* Aw, no! *laugh*
[they keep laughing for a while before they stop]
Shade: Okay, NOW let's try this one more time.
Shade: ...*big smile*.......pffft..... *burst out laughing* See, he's making this face, and he WANTS me to laugh!
Shade: .....what just happened?
Chao: We were the victims of a bombing. Dark didn't make it out alive.
Shade: No way!
Chao: I'm afraid it's true.
[Shade looks down at the ground, sad]
Chao: No time to mope, Shade; we need to get out of here.
Shade: But... where will we go? I was a fool thinking we could just run away from the MILKMAN and JOE.
Chao: Then we'll just have to find a place where they simply CAN'T get us, no matter how hard they try.
Shade: What?
Chao: Think for a moment, Shade. Think Ace Attorney.
Shade: You mean... think crazy?
Chao: Yes. What place can they simply NOT get us? They can get there, but they can't get TO us?
Shade: .....a place... where destruction is possible, but not recommended.
Chao: Huh?
Shade: The place I'm thinking of... if they destroy it, they'll be chased by the police, and stuff.
Chao: Ooh, good thinking!
Shade: A place where, in order to get in, you'd need special permission.
Chao: ...are you thinking of what I'm thinking?
Shade: I think so.
[cut to Station Square; all the chao are gathered by the beach]
Shade: The Station Square Hotel.
Qz: Shade?
Shade: Yes, Quartz?
Qz: How did you find all of us? I mean, I was being chased by rabid dogs in Africa!
Shade: Internet.
Qz: Ah.
SB: Mind if I ask, Quartz... why were you being chased by rabid dogs in Africa?
Qz: I don't know! They thought I was a chew toy!
Buddy: Hey, Shade... how did you get reservations to this place?
Shade: Don't ask. Just enjoy.
[they enter the hotel, and ride the left elevator to their penthouse/Chao Garden]
SShade: This place is amazing!
Red: A marvel!
Honey: It's beautiful!
DH: I love it!
Dark: Dibs on the top bunk!
Knuckle: Dibs on the-- damn.
Chao: Nice job, Shade.
Shade: I know. Here, we have no chance of being attacked.
[cut to the Hotel Lobby; a man in a trenchcoat and hat is using a payphone]
Man: I know that boy is home. Come on son and answer the phone. Something new has come up and...
[fade-in to black; JOE's evil laughter is heard]

Hope you are looking forward to the chao's first venture into Sonic Adventure. Of course, it'll only be for one episode, but it'll be good! I'm sure of it.

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