This is not the greatest song in the world, no... this is just a TRIBUTE!!!

Are you ready for the AWE-INSPIRING SEMI-FINAL EPISODE OF SEASON 6?! ARE YOU!? 'CAUSE I FINISHED THIS EPISODE IN ONE DAY, AND IT IS EPIC! IT IS... EPIC!
FREAKING EPIC! FUH-REAKING.... EPIC!


[cut to a space ship in the middle of space; Captain Shadow Bonic is standing in the bridge]
[Dark-Hawk walks up to him]
DH: Sir, we've detected a large, ring-shaped world out there.
SB: Out where?
DH: Out THERE, sir. In the vastness of space.
SB: Ah, yes... SPACE.... the final frontier. Personally, I always believed TIME would be the final frontier. But they all called me crazy.
DH: Um... sir, there's a ring-shaped planet.
SB: What? How can you tell this?
[the camera shows the ring-shaped planet right next to the space ship]
DH: Uhhh.... we have our ways. We have our ways.

Dark Chao Adventures
Season 6: The Gray Journey
Episode 47: Countdown to Destruction

DCA The Musical!

STARRING:
Shade the gray Dark chao as... Solid Shade 1337, "Master Chef"
Red "Devillish" the red Dark chao as... "Redd Fox," a Rebel pilot from Star Wars
Chao the boring Hero chao as... A GIANT CHICKEN, Master Chef's best friend from outer space-- I mean, a boring Rebel soldier.
Shadow "Not the Hedgehog" the green Dark chao as... Shadow the hedge--I mean, a blue SPARTAN soldier thingy, Shadow 118
Shadow Bonic the third-party Chaos chao as... Captain Shadow Bonic, the guy who dies in the end
Dark-Hawk the third-party Dark chao as... Rebel Dark-Hawk. Yeah. That's the best I could think of. Sue me
Phantom the third-party chao whose side I can't recall as... AN ALIEN!!!
Buddy the third-party Dark chao as... another Rebel chao
Quartz the third-party cannon-fodder/punching bag as... a Rebel pilot, but not as skilled as Redd Fox
And the MILKMAN, the evil, unknown creature as... 343 GUILTY SPARK, some random robot

[NOW BACK TO DA STORY]
DH: Anyway, it turns out some aliens managed to find us after blowing up some planet.
SB: The Cyber chao.
DH: The who?
SB: ...since when were the cyber chao in that band?
DH: No, I mean, who are the Cyber chao?
SB: Good question. Let's ask Shade.
DH: He's asleep, sir.
SB: Well, WAKE HIM UP! Sheesh, doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure THAT one out.
DH: Yes, sir.
[Dark-Hawk pushes some buttons and pulls some levers (LOLZ OBSCURE INVADER ZIM REFERENCE)]
[somehow, that wakes Shade up from a cryogenic pod]
Chapter 1: The Pillar of Awesome
"Waking Up" by Julien-K (Shadow the Hedgehog). ....remade by Shade.

[Shade wakes up, and steps out of the pod]
CHORUS
Shade: Waking up, breaking out...
(Where am I, I hope it's not real)
Rebel chao? Yet, but how?
(I hate the pillar of autumn)

[Shade sees some Rebel chao]
VERSE 1
Rebelchao1: Cryogenic pod hisses behind you,
As you try to clear your head.
You start to look and answers find you,
Your inner purpose lies ahead.

[Shade can't believe what's happening]
CHORUS
Shade: Waking up, breaking out...
(Where am I, I hope it's not real)
Rebel chao? Yet, but how?
(I hate the pillar of autumn)
Waking up, breaking out...
(Where am I, I hope it's not real)
Rebel chao? Yet, but how?
(I hate the pillar of autumn)

[the other Rebel chao tries to explain what's happening]
VERSE 2
Rebelchao2: Try to see, you are in Halo.
The MILKMAN is here, he shall be dead.
One more episode, one more...
Adventure!
This is not all in your head.

[Shade gives his opinion on things]
BRIDGE
Shade: I cannot believe this craaaaaaap!
Damn, the MILKMAN always gets his waaaaaaaaaaaay!
Well, I think he should knowwwwwww...
That I'm coming for hiiiiim...
Nowwwwwwwwwwww!

SYNTHESIZER SOLO

[random chorus, no meaning]
CHORUS
Shade: Waking up, breaking out...
(Where am I, I hope it's not real)
Rebel chao? Yet, but how?
(I hate the pillar of autumn)
Waking up, breaking out...
(Where am I, I hope it's not real)
Rebel chao? Yet, but how?
(I hate the pillar of autumn)
Waking up, breaking out...
(Where am I, I hope it's not real)
Rebel chao? Yet, but how?
(I hate the pillar of autumn)


[CRASH!!!]
[cut to Shadow Bonic and Dark-Hawk]
DH: Sir, the Cyber chao are attacking the Pillar of Autumn!
SB: ...so?
DH: That's OUR ship.
SB: HOLY CRAP NO! Um... quick! Call the Master Chef up here!
[they call Shade up to the bridge]
Shade: You wanted to see me, sir?
SB: Shade, you need to--
[CRASH!!!]
[a microchip falls to the floor]
DH: SAVE THE CHIP!
[Shade grabs it]
Shade: This is Cortana, right? The AI that'll help me?
DH: No, that's where I keep my pr0n. If you want help, *pulls out syringe* here's your "AI."
Shade: Um... I don't like shots...
[Dark-Hawk manages to distract Shade long enough to give him the "AI"]
Shade: WHOA! ***..................*giggle*
DH: There! Now you're as smart as the Master Chief! If not smarter.
"Why does it Hurt When I Pee?" by Frank Sinatra, remade by Shade.

Shade: Why does it hurt when I think?
Why does it hurt when I think?
I don't want no doctor
To stick no needle in me
Why does it hurt when I think?
I got it from the Dark-Hawk guy.
I got it from the Dark-Hawk guy.
He jumped right up,
'N' grabbed my eye.
Got it from the Dark-Hawk guy.
My arms feel like a pair of maracas
My arms feel like a pair of maracas
Oh God, I probably got the Gon-o-ka-ka-khackus!
My arms feel like a pair of maracas
Ai-ee-ai-ee-ahhhh!
Why does it,
Why does it,
Why does it,
Why does it hurt...
when...
I thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink?


SB: Now, Master Chef, you need to head to the escape pods!
Shade: Urp..... the Elite Beat Agents are at your service, boss! SUPERMAN, AWAY! *runs into room*
SB: CLOSET!
Shade: I... I knew that! I was just... turning around.
[Shade somehow makes it to the escape pods without dying. ....more than five times]
Shade: Burb...burb...burb... I'm a tree!
[the magical flowers and cat pee wear off]
Shade: Ugh... escape pod! Good-- OW, MY HEAD HURTS!
[Shade enters the escape pod, and finds Shadow and Quartz inside]
Shade: What are you guys doing here?
Qz: I'm driving the escape po--
Shade: Yeah, yeah. Shadow, why are you...
Shadow: In a blue MJOLNIR suit? No clue.
Shade: Ah.
[the escape pod activates]
Qz: Hold on tight, folks; it's gonna be a bumpy ride!
Chapter 2: Hell-o, Halo Kitty, Gay-lo, whatever you wanna call it
[the escape pod flies into the ring-shaped planet]
[cut to a bunch of grassy hills and mountains somewhere on the ring-shaped planet; the escape pod is coming to the ground]
Shadow: Brace yourself, Master Chef!
Shade: I am!
[the ship crashes, and Shade whites out]
Shadow: Chef? Chef?
Shade: Ugh...
[Shade wakes up, and finds that Quartz died, but not Shadow]
Shadow: Are you alright, Master Chef?
Shade: Yes, yes, I'm fine, already! Now, according to my Player's Guid-- expert gaming knowledge, there should be some enemies coming. RUN.
Shadow: Running!
[some Cyber chao gunships commit a fly-by shooting]
Shade: YOU *****ES, WHY DON'T YOU COME BACK DOWN HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE?!
Cyberchao: I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING! *flies off*
Shade: Next, we gotta find, like, four groups of Rebel chao, and kill some Cyber chao. Let's go.
"Killing Time (and People)" A parody song by Shade. Not exactly original. (so don't expect anything good)

[Shade and Shadow go through the planet, killing people]
CHORUS (the original part)
Shade: Nothing to do! Gotta kill some time!
Shadow: Damn. I can't think of a rhyme.
Shade: We gotta save some Rebels!
Shadow: Rebels!
Shade: We gotta save some friends!
Shadow: Friends are just around that bend!
Shade: We gotta kill some enemies!
Shadow: Enemies!
Shade: Those cyber chao are gonna pay!
Shadow: And, man, I think they're really gay!

VERSE 1 (take a guess what it's based on)
Shade: With a few smacks here...
Shadow: And a few whacks there...
Shade: Here an "Ouch!"
Shadow: There an "Ouch!"
Both: Everywhere an "Ouch! Ouch!"
Shade: Old Master Chef had a gun,
Both: E-I-E-I-OWWWWWWW!

CHORUS
Shade: Nothing to do! Gotta kill some time!
Shadow: Damn. I can't think of a rhyme.
Shade: We gotta save some Rebels!
Shadow: Rebels!
Shade: We gotta save some friends!
Shadow: Friends are just around that bend!
Shade: We gotta kill some enemies!
Shadow: Enemies!
Shade: Those cyber chao are gonna pay!
Shadow: And, man, I think they're really gay!

[they find Redd Fox, the pilot for a big ship]
VERSE 2 (Linkin Park's "Faint")
Red: I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard,
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact
That everyone can see these scars.
I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel,
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you
To just believe this is real.
So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do.
Face away and pretend that I'm not,
But I'll be here cause you're all that I've got.
Shade: .......................WHAT? I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch all that. Were you... RAPPING?
Red: Kind of.
Shade: Sorry, just because I like Zero Punctuation doesn't mean I can understand ALL these super-fast things.
Red: How about I just go ahead and say that I want to help you kill some people, because you're all I've got.
Shade: Oh. Weird, much?
Red: Yeah. Well... I want to kill some Cyber chao, and you got about another verse and a bridge to go, so...
Shade: Ah, good thinking. ...could you sing the chorus to that song so we can have some diversity?
Red: Sure, sure.

CHORUS 2 (Linkin Park's "Faint")
Red: I CAN'T FEEL!!! the way I did before,
Don't turn your back on me;
I won't be ignored!
TIME WON'T HEAL!!! this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me; I won't be ignored!

[Shade, Shadow, and Red start killing some Rebel chao]
VERSE 3 (Live and Learn by Crush 40)
Shade: Can you feel life tangle you up inside?
Yeah, now you're face down on the floor!
Shadow: Oh!
Red: But you can't save your sorrow,
You've paid in trade!
Shade: When you can't help but follow,
All: It puts you right back where you came!

BRIDGE (Dragonforce's "Through the Fire and Flames")
Red: As the red day is dawning and the lightning cracks the sky,
Shadow: We'll raise our hand to the heavens above with resentment in their eyes.
Shade: Running back from the mid morning light with a burning in my heart,
All: We're banished from a time in a fallen land to a life beyond the stars.

[the fighting ends as all the Cyber chao around them are dead]
CHORUS 3 (Original again, but a little bit of Super Smash Bros Brawl theme)
Shade: And so we wait, for what seems to be a lifetime...
Shadow: For the day the foe comes that can equal us in real time.
Red: But as that day may never come,
All: SPRENDOR CRESCIT! (We shine ever brighter, in Latin)



[the song ends as Redd Fox flies his ship down, and drops a warthog for them]
Shade: w00t! ROAD TRIP! You coming, you two?
Shadow: **** yeah!
Red: Dude, I LOVE road trips! SHOTGUN!
Shadow: SHOTGU-- aww....
Shade: Relax, Shadow; you get to be the turret!
Shadow: r0xx0rz!
"Born Too Slow," by The Crystal Method, slightly remade by Shade.

[as Shade drives, he decides to sing along to the radio while running over Cyber chao and driving headfirst into rocks]
Shade:Just like seventies goofballs,
he's waiting on last calls.
Well, listen to Shade, man!
'Cause if you leave on the last line ,
don't leave on the ground kind ...
Born just a little too SLOW!
Just a little too SLOW!

Just a little too...
Oh, your lives are more than two,
just a little too...
Oh, just a little too...

'Cause if ya picture the wrong kind,
you'll know you'll be turnin' blind.
Got outta your head!
Bangin' tail just the wrong way,
you'll know that you're turnin' gray,
I'm just a little too SLOW!
Oh, your lives are more than two, more than two, more than two, SLOW!

Oh, your lives are more than two,

INSTRUMENTAL

Just a little too...

INSTRUMENTAL

Just a little too...
your lives are more than two,
just a little too...
Oh, your your life's a born in two,
just a little too SLOW!
'Cause if you leave on the last line,
don't leave on the ground kind.
Well, listen to Shade, man!
'Cause if you leave him callin',
you'll know you'll be fallin'.
Lights are bummin' low,
you're shot off and bum and go,
lives are bummin' low,
your shot off and bum and go,
born just a little too....!!!

[they reach the last group of Rebel chao]
Rc: Master Chef! We thought you'd never make it!
Shade: Hey, how's it going? ...wait, "Master Chef?"
Rc: Yes. You WERE the head chef on the Pillar of Autumn, weren't you?
Shade: I thought I was Master CHIEF, the awesome gunfighter who protects everyone and has a woman in his head!
Rc: No. What are you, crazy? This is supposed to be a VIDEO GAME. What kind of game features THAT crap?
Red: He has a point. I mean, that DOES sound cliche and overused.
Shade: Eh, whatever.
Red: By the way, Shade, I can use my ship to pick up that group, as well as you two.
Shadow: Yay, a ride home!
Shade: Hmm... according to my player's guide, I'm gonna need you to take me to this Cyber chao ship in order to save Shadow Bonic.
Red: Um... sure.
[he does that]
Chapter 3: Truth and Recon-Silly-Nation
[Redd Fox takes Shade to the Cyber Chao ship, the "Truth and Reconcilliation," in the middle of the night]
Shade: I gotta break in there using nothing but a sniper rifle? Normally, there's a squad of Rebel chao with me.
Red: You can do it. I know you can.
Shade: All right. Time to kick up some espionage music!
"Snake Eater" by, uh.... I dunno. It's in Metal Gear Solid 3. Remade by Shade.

[Shade goes across some cliffs, while killing some Cyber Chao]
VERSE 1
Shade: What a thrill...
With darkness and silence through the night...
What a thrill...
I'm searching and I'll melt into you...
What a fear in my heart,
But you're so supreme!

[Shade finds a large group of enemies, and starts fighting]
CHORUS
Shade: I'd give my life...
Not for honour, but for you!
In my time there'll be no one else...
Crime, it's the way I fly to you!
I'm still in a dream,
Shade Eater!

[Shade returns to going along the cliffs and valleys]
VERSE 2
Shade: Someday you go through the rain,
And someday, you feed on a tree frog.
This ordeal, the trial to survive,
For the day we see new light!

[Shade finds the landing site for the ship, and has to kill a lot of Cyber chao]
CHORUS
Shade: I'd give my life...
Not for honour, but for you!
In my time there'll be no one else...
Crime, it's the way I fly to you!
I'm still in a dream,
Shade Eater!

I am still in a dream,
Shade Eater!

[Shade has killed all the enemies, and enters the ship]
[he finds Commander Shadow Bonic, and Dark-Hawk, surprisingly, and takes them to a ship]
[they fly the ship outta there]
[...that's the whole chapter. Sorry, but I couldn't think of a song to match with that.]
Chapter 4: The Silent Map Maker Guy
[cut to around mid-morning the next day; Redd Fox is flying Master Chef and Shadow 118 to an island]
SB: So, according to our reports, there is a map of the center of this mysterious, ring-shaped planet inside a base.
DH: And the base is deep inside this island we're flying to.
Shade: Ah, I see...
SB: Well, by "center of the planet," I mean the control room.
Shade: Hmm...
DH: You must find a way into this base, and find the map.
Shade: Understood. Initiating the mission now.
[pause]
DH: Um... how? We're still flying.
Shade: Sorry, I just wanted to say that.
[they reach the island, and Shade finds the underground base]
Shade: Hmm... gotta reach the bottom, huh? This'll be fun.
[cut to the bottom floor; Shade's scream is heard coming closer]
[Shade slams onto the ground (he jumped all the way down)]
Shade: Man, that was a bigger jump than I had hoped. What's this?
[Shade finds the map]
Shade: Now to get outta here!
[Shade looks around and realizes that he passed all the enemies on the way down, and there's only one way back up-- past

them]
Shade: Oh.
"Foreplay/Long Time" by Boston, not changed at all.
[after a rocking guitar/synthesizer solo, Shade starts singing]

[all this time, Shade is carefully taking out each and every enemy while walking up dozens of floors]
Shade: It's been such a long time,
I think I should be goin', yeah.
And time doesn't wait for me, it keeps on rollin'.
Sail on, on a distant highway, yeah!
I've got to keep on chasin' a dream.
I've gotta be on my way!
Wish there was something I could say.

ACOUSTIC RIFF

Shade: Well, I'm takin' my time, I'm just movin' along,
You'll forget about me after I've been gone.
And I take what I find, I don't want no more.
It's just outside of your front door.


Shade: It's been such a long time. It's been such a long time!

Shade: Well, I get so lonely when I am without you,
But in my mind, deep in my mind,
I can't forget about you.
Good times, and faces that remind me, yeah!
I'm tryin' to forget your name and leave it all behind me!
You're comin' back to find me.

ACOUSTIC RIFF

Shade: Well, I'm takin' my time, I'm just movin' along,
You'll forget about me after I've been gone.
And I take what I find, I don't want no more,
It's just outside of your front door.


Shade: It's been such a long time. It's been such a long time!

GUITAR SOLO

Shade: Yeahhhh! It's been such a long time, I think I should be going, yeah!
Time doesn't wait for me, it keeps on rollin'.
There's a long road I've gotta stay in time with.
I've got to keep on chasin' that dream, though I may never find it.
I'm always just behind it.

ELECTRIC GUITAR RIFF

Shade: Well, I'm takin' my time, I'm just movin' along,
Takin' my time, just movin' along,
Takin' my time, yeah, I'm takin' my time...

[Shade makes it out of the base with a ton of Cyber chao corpses behind him, and contacts Redd Fox]
Red: Yo.
Shade: I have the map... I'm sending you the coordinates.
Red: Hmm.... *recieve'd* These coordinates are underground! ...I'll try.
[that's the whole chapter. I love that song so much, I gave it its own chapter]
Chapter 5: Assault on the Control Base Place of No Point and It's Randomly Snowing For Some Reason What the Hell?
[Redd Fox flies Master Chef underground to a small ledge by a door]
Shade: Thanks.
[Master Chef opens the door, and finds that it's SNOWING WTF OMG LEET HAX]
Shade: Damn. And I gotta do WHAT?
Red: (via random radio) I think you gotta find the control base through all this snow, and you gotta find a song that suits this.
Shade: Hmm... I have some ideas. First, I gotta go through the snowy valleys and help Rebel chao kill Cyber chao.
"Walking in a Winter Wonderland" by, um... who was it made by? Who cares. Remade by Shade.

[Shade goes through the valleys, murdering Cyber chao, all while singing this upbeat song]
Shade: Cyber alarms ring, are you listening?
In the valley, blood is glistening.
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight.
Walking in a winter wonderland.

Gone away is he, Redd Fox?
Here to stay is a new fox.
He sings a war cry as enemies die.
Walking in a winter wonderland.

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
Then pretend that he is a Cyber chao.
He'll say: "Are you rebels?"
We'll say: "Yes, man, and you can go to the Dark Garden, a'ight?"

Later on, we'll conspire,
As we dream by gunfire,
To face unafraid the plans that we've made.
Assaulting the old winter control base.

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
And pretend that he's the MILKMAN.
We'll have lots of "fun" with mister MILKMAN!
Until I "accidentally" knock him down.

When it snows, ain't it thrilling?
Though your rifles get a chilling.
We'll frolic and play, the Master Chef way.
Walking in a winter wonderland.

Walking in a winter wonderland.
Walking in a winter wonderland.


[Shade arrives at the foot of a large structure]
Shade: So, I gotta hike up THIS thing? While Cyber chao murdalize me? Alright, I just need some epic music.
"Ballroom Blitz" by The Sweet, Slightly remade by Rubber Goose (Shade, Dark, and Red's 'band').

(Note: This "recording" was made back in the days of the Dark Garden [earlier seasons])
(Not really, but let's just say that Shade had a cassette of their first record, and had a cassette player)
(Also, in Rubber Goose, the lead guitarist is Dark, the drummer is Shade, while the bassist is Red. Any other instruments are played by random chao who want to be in their band.)
(And the lead singer varies depending on the song. This time around, it's Shade.)
(And for this song, Shadow aided on some random instruments)


Shade: Are you ready, Dark? Red? Shadow?
Alright, fellas, let's GOOOOOOOOO!

Well, it's been getting so hard,
Livin' with the things you do to me.
My dreams are getting so strange,
I'd like to tell you everything I see.
I see a man at the back as a matter of fact.
His eyes are red as the sun!
And a girl in the corner, let no one ignore her,
'Cause she thinks SHE'S the passionate one!

Oh, yeah, it was like LIGHTNING, everybody was FRIGHTENING!
And the music was SOOTHING, 'cause they all started GROOVING!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

And the man at the back said, "Everyone, attack!"
And it turned into a ballroom blitz!
And the girl in the corner said, "Boy, I wanna warn ya,
It'll turn into a ballroom blitz!"
Ballroom blitz!
Ballroom blitz!
Ballroom blitz!
Ballroom blitz!

Oh, I'm reaching out for something,
Touching nothing's all I ever do.
Oh, I softly call you over,
When you appear there's nothing left of you.
Now the man in the back...
Is ready to crack as he raises his hands to the sky!
And the girl in the corner is everyone's mourner,
She could kill you with a wink of her eye!

OHHHH YEAHHHHH, it was ELECTRIC, so frantically HECTIC!
And the band started LEAVING, 'cause they all stopped BREATHING!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

And the man at the back said, "Everyone, attack,"
And it turned into a ballroom blitz!
And the girl in the corner said, "Boy, I wanna warn ya,
It'll turn into a ballroom blitz!"
Ballroom blitz!

INSTRUMENTAL

Oh yeah, it was like LIGHTNING, everybody was FRIGHTENING!
And the music was SOOTHING, 'cause they all started GROOVING!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

And the man at the back said, "Everyone, attack,"
And it turned into a ballroom blitz!
And the girl in the corner said, "Boy, I wanna warn ya,
It'll turn into a ballroom blitz!"
Ballroom blitz!
Ballroom blitz!
Ballroom blitz!
Ballroom blitz!

It's, it's, a ballroom blitz!
It's, it's, a ballroom blitz!
It's, it's, a ballroom blitz!
YEAHHH, it's a ballroom blitz!


[the cassette ends as Master Chef reaches the top of the structure, and enters the building]
Shade: Hmm... there's a computer here.
[he checks it]
Shade: So, I need to find some sort of "Index" thing in order to activate this ring planet? Ah.
Red: Come in, Shade! Do you read?
Shade: I read you.
Red: Any news on the machine?
Shade: Uh... yeah, I need you to fly me to this little swamp that's, like, at the other side of the planet.
Red: Copy that.
[Redd Fox flies Shade to the swamp, where you get to hear a small techno/rock opera by one of Dark's favorite bands!]
Chapter 6: The Colony of Guilty Spark (A Song in Three Parts)
"The Colony of Slippermen" by Genesis, remade by Shade.


PART ONE: THE ARRIVAL
[Shade finds a lot of mysterious creatures called the Flood]

Shade:

I wandered lonely as a cloud,
Till I came upon this dirty swamp.
I've never seen a stranger crowd;
Slubberdegullions on a squeaky feet,

Continually pacing,
With nonchalant embracing,
Each orifice disgracing
And one facing me moves to say "Hellay!"

His skin's all covered in slimy lumps.
With lips that slide across each chin.
His twisted limbs, like rubber stamps
Are waved in welcome say 'Please join in.'

My grip must be flipping,
'Cause his handshake keeps slipping,
My hopes keep on dipping,
And his lips keep on smiling all the time.

Flood:

"We, like you, have tasted love.
Don't be alarmed at what you see.
You, yourself are just the same
As what you see in me."

Shade:

Me, like you? Like that!

Flood:

"You better watch it, son, your sentence has only just begun!
You better run and join your friend, Chao."

PART TWO: A VISIT TO THE DOKTOR
[Shade finds the Doktor, and realizes he must follow some crazy rituals in order to be accepted]

Flood:

"You're in our colony of men-like Flood.
There's no who? why? what? or would?

You get out, if you've got the gripe...
To see Doktor Dyper, reformed sniper-
he'll whip off your ol' pied piper."

Shade:

Chao and I are able
To face the Doktor and his marble table.

The Doktor:

Understand, Shade, it's the only brain you'll ever have.

Shade:

"Don't delay, chop the mind!"
I watch his rubbery hands all the time *CHOP*......

PART THREE: THE "RAVEN"
[things start to differ from the song as Shade and Chao find 343 Guilty Spark]

He places the number into a tube,
A yellow plastic "shoobedoobe."
It says: "Though your fingers may tickle,
You'll be safe in our pickle."
Suddenly, a blue light comes down from the sky.
It's a pretty small robot that sure can fly.

The MILKMAN brings on darkness and night.
He flies right down, gives me one helluva fright.
He takes the tube right out of my hands.
Man, I've got to find out where that robot lands.

"Look here, Chao, I've got to run.
I need you now, you going to come?"
He says to me,

Chao:

"Now can't you see?
Where the MILKMAN flies, there's jeopardy.

We've been cured on the couch
Now you're sick with your grouch.
I'll not risk my thinking cap,
On my head, not on my lap."

Shade:

He walks away and leaves me once again.
Even though I never learn,
I'd hoped he'd show just some concern.

I'm in agony of Flood-er-pain,
I pray my overcarriage will sustain.
The chase is on, the pace is hot,
But I'm running so very hard with everything I've got.
He leads me down an underpass.
Though it narrows, he still flies very fast;
When the tunnel stops,
I catch sight of the tube, just as it drops.
I'm on top of a bank, too steep to climb,
I see it hit the water, just in time,
as the MILKMAN warps me away.



Chapter 7: The Library of Song
[as stated in the Colony of Slippermen, Shade was warped away by the MILKMAN]
[he is now in a mysterious, dark building]
Shade: What the? MILKMAN? What are you...
MM: Shhh. I am 343 Guilty Spark! Now, we must retrieve the Index in order to activate this planet.
Shade: Uh.... okay. Where is the Index?
MM: On the fourth floor of the Library.
Shade: And... this is the Library, is it not?
MM: Correct. I shall lead you to the Index, but I cannot carry it. My physical state proves this.
Shade: ...huh. Okay. I'll follow you.
"Lilywhite Lilith" by Genesis, Remade by Shade.

[Guilty Spark leads Master Chef through the Library]
VERSE 1
Shade: The building was in confusion - all the floods were shouting loud.
I could only just hear, a voice quite near say, "Please help me
through the crowd."
'Said if I helped him thru', he could help me, too, but I could
see that he was practically blind. (Just making sure you know the MILKMAN really ISN'T, I just didn't want to change the song

that much)
But from his pale face and his pale machinery, a moonlight shined.

CHORUS
Follow the MILKMAN,
He gonna take you thru' the Library, right?
Follow the MILKMAN,
He gonna lead you right.

[the MILKMAN tells Shade to stay at a closed door and wait for him to open it]
VERSE 2
When I'd led him through the creatures, the angry noise began to grow.
He said "Let me feel the way the breezes blow, and I'll show
you where to go."
So I followed him toward a big, round door, he said "They're
coming for you, now don't be afraid."
Then he left me there claimin' he would return, and that I should stay.

CHORUS
Follow the MILKMAN,
He gonna take you thru' the Library, right?
Follow the MILKMAN,
He gonna lead you right.

GUITAR SOLO

[everything goes white as two flood come up to Shade]
OUTRO
He leaves me in my darkness,
I have to face, face my fear,
And the darkness closes in on me,
I can hear a whirring sound growing near.
I can see the corner of the tunnel,
Lit up by whatever's coming here.
Two angy flood float into the room,
And a blaze of white light fills the air.


[Guilty Spark opens the large door by Master Chef]
MM: Come! We are nearly there.
Shade: Took you long enough!
[they reach the fourth floor, and Shade grabs the Index]
MM: Excellent. Now I will take you back to the Control base so that you may activate the Index.
[Guilty Spark warps Master Chef away again]
Chapter 8: One Betrayal
[at the control base, Master Chef is about to insert the Index when Shadow breaks in]
Shadow: MASTER CHEF! DON'T USE THAT INDEX!
Shade: Huh?
MM: Don't listen to him. Use the Index.
Shade: He's right, Shadow. The Index is harmless. It's going to activate the planet's weaponry stuff, and kill all the Flood.
Shadow: Read the fine print.
Shade: The fine print?
[Master Chef pulls out a "Ring Planet Instruction Manual"]
Shade: "The planet will activate, wiping out all the life forms in the galaxy. The Flood will then starve to death."
[Guilty Spark chuckles]
MM: Uh... heh heh heh... I suppose I forgot to mention that, didn't I?
Shade: **** yeah. I should dispose of this Index, and never listen to you again!
MM: ...I'm afraid you can't do that, Master Chef. For you see, there are these three generators around here that, when activated, will activate the planet.
Shade: Then why didn't you just do THAT in the first place?
MM: ................good point. Who WRITES this crap?
Shade: Nontheless, I shall go deactivate those generators!
MM: HA! Good luck. They require FLYING to get to!
Shadow: He's right, Chef. How are you going to get there?
Shade: ...the only way I know how. By becoming WONDERBOY!
Shadow: You mean I can be Young Nastyman again?
Shade: Yeah! Let's become our superpowers, and form together to become...
Both: TENACIOUS D!
MM: Heh. THIS I'd like to see.
Both: YOU'RE ON, SCUM!
"Wonderboy" by Tenacious D, Remade by Shade.

[Shade transforms into Wonderboy]
VERSE 1
Shade: High above the mucky-muck, castle made of clouds,
There sits Wonderboy, sitting oh so proudly.
Not much to say when you're high above the mucky-muck.
Yeah, yeah.

CHORUS
Shade: Wonderboy, what is the secret of your power?
Wonderboy, won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck man?

[Shadow transforms into Young Nastyman]
VERSE 2
Shadow: (talking) Now it's time for me to tell you about Young Nastyman,
archrival and nemesis of Wonderboy, with powers comparable to Wonderboy.
What powers you ask? I dunno. How 'bout the power of flight?
That do anything for ya?
Shade: That's levitation, holmes.
Shadow: How 'bout the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away... with MIND BULLETS!
Shade: That's telekinesis, Shadow.
Shadow: How 'bout the power to move you?
Shade: (singing) History of Wonderboy and Young Nastyman,
Riggah-goo-goo, riggah-goo-goo.
A secret to be told, a gold chest to be bold,
And blasting forth with three-part harmony, yeow!

CHORUS
Shade: Wonderboy, what is the secret of your power?
Wonderboy, won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck man?

[Wonderboy and Young Nastyman join forces]
VERSE 3
Shade: (talking) Well, Wonderboy and Young Nastyman joined forces;
they formed a band the likes of which have never been seen,
and they called themselves Tenacious D. That's right,
(singing) Me! And Shadow!
Shadow: That's me.
Shade: We're now Tenacious D!
Come fly with me, fly!

GUITAR SOLO

CHORUS
Shade: Wonderboy, what is the secret of your power?
Wonderboy, won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck man,
Oh!

OUTRO
Shade: (talking)Take my hand!
Young Nastyman, and we'll fly!
Bring out your broadsword.
There's the hydra.
Slice his throat!
And grab his scroat.
You take the high road,
I'll take the low.
There, the crevasse,
Fill it with your mighty juice.



Red: Um... "Wonderboy?"
Shade: Yes?
Red: You can't be Tenacious D.
Shade: What? Why not?
Red: For one thing, you're already in Rubber Goose. And for another thing, there already IS a Tenacious D.
Shade: Oh. Oh, yeah.
[so, Master Chef and Shadow 118 fly away and destroy the generators, and foil Guilty Spark's plan]
MM: Curses! ..I'll be back, Shade.
Shade: The MILKMAN's getting away! I just now remembered this is all just a video game!
Shadow: Oh, yeah!
Red: Shade, you have bigger things to worry about.
Shade: What?
Red: Commander Shadow Bonic has been captured, and taken back to the same ship!
Shade: The Truth and Reconcilliation? Aw, what the Phantom Menace is that guy's PROBLEM? *groan* All right. Take me there.
Red: Copy that.
[Redd Fox flies Master Chef back to the Truth and Reconcilliation]
Chapter 9: Shadow Bonic
Shade: *sigh* I just hope he's alright.
Red: I'm sure he is. At least this time, you'll have backup.
Shade: What? It's supposed to be the opposite-- in Chapter 3, I was supposed to, but now, I'm NOT.
Red: Well, too bad. Buddy's coming with you.
Buddy: Hey, Master Chef! I'm ready to save the Commander!
Red: And Dark-Hawk.
DH: Since I'm his second in command, I may as well.
Red: And Chao.
Chao: Hey, I didn't want to just appear in a SONG.
Shade: Um... okay. Let's go.
[they're dropped off outside the Truth and Reconcilliation]
Buddy: It looks like we're gonna have to find a different way in this time.
Shade: Hmm... okay. Let's blow it to the ground!
DH: W00T! ROCK AND ROLL!
"Freebird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd, Not changed one bit. Hey, it's a good song, and they're only playing this to make a ship crash down. How could I change it for that?

Shade: If I leave here tomorrow,
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on now.
There's too many places I've got to see.

If I stay here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird, you cannot change!

Oh, and the bird, you cannot change!
And this bird, you cannot change!
Lord knows I can't change!

Bye-bye babe, it's been sweet love.
'Though this feeling I can't change...
But please don't take this so badly,
'Cause Lord knows I'm to blame.

But if I stay here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same,
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird, you cannot change!

Oh, and the bird, you cannot change!
And this bird, you cannot change!
Lord knows I can't change!
Lord help me, I can't change!

Oh no, I can't change!

GUITAR SOLO

GUITAR SOLO

GUITAR SOLO

GUITAR SOLO

GUITAR FREAKING SOLO

NO WONDER PEOPLE LOVE THIS SONG, GUITAR SOLO

PERSONALLY, I PREFER GENESIS, ALTHOUGH YOU CAN PROBABLY HAVE GUESSED THAT BY NOW, BUT STILL, GUITAR SOLO
[somehow, that made the ship crash down to the ground]
Shade: See, I'm really good at making things crash and burn.
Chao: Pfft, no kidding.
Shade: Okay, now we gotta explore the dark labyrinths of this ship while avoiding Flood and stuff, and find Shadow Bonic.
DH: What song do we know that defines that, anyway?
Phantom: Uh... I got one, but it doesn't really DEFINE it. Still, it might help us get there.
Shade: WHOA! AN ALIEN!
Ph: Calm down! It's me, Phantom! And I know a good song that'll get you outta here. Just let ME sing it.
"Chocolate Rain" by Tay Zonday, Remade by Phantom.

Ph: Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Phantom.
It's P-H-A, N-T-O-M to the third-party.
This is the web and it's gonna murder your TV.

It was Chocolate Rain,
Wrote a song about that history.
Chocolate Rain,
Now I'm paid a hefty, hefty fee.

Chocolate Rain,
Listen to the funky rhymes I weave.
Chocolate Rain,
I move away from the mic to breathe.

DH: He moves his mouth away from the mic so he can breathe!
Buddy: He moves his mouth away from the mic so he can breathe!

Ph: I wanna tell you about a love that took me by force.

She took my heart like a wild red horse. I call her...

Cherry Chocolate Rain,
I open the door and see you standing there.
Cherry Chocolate Rain,
Pull me in with that delicious stare.

Cherry Chocolate Rain,
I need you right now don't you want to stay.
Cherry Chocolate Rain,
Your beauty burns me like a solar ray.

Shade: Phantom rules.
Most downloaded video clips.
Most exclusive video chicks.
Makin' big videos.
With big city pros.
Got mad pad willy flows.
That get many dough, oh.

Make it pop cherry.
Whoa, tick tock to the clock,
little Berry flows.
Ridiculous, Phantom sick with this.

Ph: Cherry Chocolate Rain,
Release my love and unlock the chains.
Cherry Chocolate Rain,
Your energy is coarsing through my veins.

Cherry Chocolate Rain,
Ohio's agriculture's based on grains.
Cherry Chocolate Rain,
My love will just never be the same.

Dark, sweet, unexpected,
Taste the secret you're infected.
Cure my body's deepest pains
Brought the thunder, made it rain

Oh, my Cherry Chocolate Rain.
I love you.
This internet thing is wild.


[after that.... disturbing song, they find a giant Flood egg sac]
Shade: Ew!
DH: Freaky.
Ph: Let's move along.
Chao: Wait a minute... Shade, look at this print that's sticking out of the sac.
Shade: Is that... SHADOW BONIC?! HE WAS EATEN BY THE FLOOD?!
DH: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
[Shadow Bonic walks in]
SB: Hey, guys. What's happening?
Shade: Shadow Bonic, you WEREN'T eaten by the Flood?
SB: The Flood, what are you talking about? Why would I have been eaten by the Flood?
Shade: Well, your face is right there.
SB: It is? ...that's not MY face, that's MYSPACE.
Shade: Oh, Myspace. Right.
DH: Yeah, I understand that.
Ph: Let's leave this place now.
Chao: .......um...... am I the only one who doesn't understand how his face could look like Myspace?
Buddy: Yes.
[they leave the Truth and Reconcilliation, and meet up with Redd Fox]
Red: Next, have I got news for you. We found the Pillar of Autumn!
All: *cheer*
Red: I'll fly you there, and we can get outta here.
[he does]
Chapter 10: The Maw-Inspiring Showdown
[Redd Fox flies them there, and they all get off and run through the Pillar of Autumn]
Shade: We're nearly there!
[weird noise]
Shade: Huh?
Red: What's wrong, Shade? We're nearly there!
Shade: I hear something coming from the Engine Room.
[they check inside the engine room, and find.. GUILTY SPARK!!! DUN DUN DUUUUN!]
MM: Ah, hello, Shade.
Shade: MILKMAN...
MM: I am about to destroy the Pillar, killing you with it! That way, I could finally be rid of you!
Shade: ...guys, huddle up.
[the chao all huddle up]
[they talk]
Shade: Okay, MILKMAN... we offer you a bet.
MM: *smirk* Very well. What is this?
Shade: If we can sing the GREATEST SONG IN THE WORLD... you will let us escape.
MM: Right, and if you CAN'T?
Shade: Blow us all up.
MM: ...let's make this BETTER than a bet. Let's make this a CONTEST. I will try to sing the greatest song, as well...
Shade: And whoever sings the best one wins?
MM: Exactly. Me first.
Shade: Go ahead.
MM: I will be singing the song YOU were about to sing. Genesis' longest song in existance...
"Supper's Ready" by Genesis, sung by the MILKMAN, absolutely untouched. A whopping twenty-three minutes of awesome.

MM: Walking across the sitting-room, I turn the television off.
Sitting beside you, I look into your eyes.
As the sound of motor cars fades in the night time,
I swear I saw your face change, it didn't seem quite right.
...And it's, "Hello, babe... with your guardian eyes so blue...
Hey, my baby, don't you know our love is true."

Coming closer with our eyes, a distance falls around our bodies.
Out in the garden, the moon seems very bright,
Six saintly shrouded men move across the lawn slowly.
The seventh walks in front with a cross held high in hand.
...And it's, "Hello, babe, your supper's waiting for you.
Hey, my baby, don't you know our love is true."

ACOUSTIC SOLO

I've been so far from here,
Far from your warm arms.
It's good to feel you again,
It's been a long long time. Hasn't it?

ACOUSTIC SOLO

I know a farmer who looks after the farm.
With water clear, he cares for all his harvest.
I know a fireman who looks after the fire.

SYNTHESIZER SOLO

Can't you see he's fooled you all?
Yes, he's here again, can't you see he's fooled you all?
Share his peace,
Sign the lease.
He's a supersonic scientist,
He's the guaranteed eternal sanctuary maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!
"Look, look into my mouth," he cries,
And all the children lost down many paths,
I bet my life you'll walk inside.
Hand in hand,
gland in gland,
With a spoonful of miracle,
He's the guaranteed eternal sanctuary--------

SILENCE

We will rock you, rock you little snake,
We will keep you sad and warm.

FLUTE SOLO

SYNTHESIZER SOLO

Wearing feelings on our faces while our faces took a rest,
We walked across the fields to see the children of the West,
But we saw a host of dark skinned warriors
standing still below the ground,
Waiting for battle.

The fight's begun, they've been released.
Killing foe for peace...bang, bang, bang. Bang, bang, bang...
And they're giving me a wonderful potion,
'Cause I cannot contain my emotion.
And even though I'm feeling good,
Something tells me I'd better activate my prayer capsule.

Today's a day to celebrate, the foe have met their fate.
The order for rejoicing and dancing has come from our warlord.

ORGAN SOLO

Wandering in the chaos the battle has left,
We climb up the mountain of human flesh,
To a plateau of green grass, and green trees full of life.
A young figure sits still by a pool,
He's been stamped "Human Bacon" by some butchery tool.
(He is you)
Social Security took care of this lad.
We watch in reverence, as Narcissus is turned to a flower.
A flower?

If you go down to Willow Farm,
to look for butterflies, flutterbyes, gutterflies
Open your eyes, it's full of surprise, everyone lies,
like the fox on the rocks,
and the musical box.
Yes, there's Mum & Dad, and good and bad,
and everyone's happy to be here.

There's Winston Churchill dressed in drag,
he used to be a British flag, plastic bag, what a drag.
The frog was a prince, the prince was a brick, the brick was an egg,
the egg was a bird.
(Fly away you sweet little thing, they're hard on your tail)
Hadn't you heard?
(They're going to change you into a human being!)
Yahoo, we're happy as fish and gorgeous as geese,
and wonderfully clean in the morning.

We've got everything, we're growing everything,
We've got some in,
We've got some out,
We've got some wild things floating about.
Everyone, we're changing everyone,
you name them all,
We've had them here,
And the real stars are still to appear.

Feel your body melt;
Mum to mud to mad to dad
Dad diddley office, Dad diddley office,
You're all full of ball.

Dad to dam to dum to mum
Mum diddley washing, Mum diddley washing,
You're all full of ball.

Let me hear you lies, we're living this up to the eyes.
Ooee-ooee-ooee-oowaaaaaa!!!
Momma I want you nowwww!!!!

And as you listen to my voice
To look for hidden doors, tidy floors, more applause.
You've been here all the time,
Like it or not, like what you got,
You're under the soil (the soil, the soil),
Yes, deep in the soil (the soil, the soil, the soil, the soil!).
So we'll end with a whistle and end with a bang
and all of us fit in our places.

GUITAR SOLO

SYNTHESIZER SOLO

With the guards of Magog, swarming around,
The Pied Piper takes his children underground.
Dragons coming out of the sea,
Shimmering silver head of wisdom looking at me.
He brings down the fire from the skies,
You can tell he's doing well by the look in human eyes.
Better not compromise.
It won't be easy.

MORE SOLOS

666 is no longer alone,
He's getting out the marrow in your back bone,
And the seven trumpets blowing sweet rock and roll,
Gonna blow right down inside your soul.
Pythagoras with the looking glass reflects the full moon,
In blood, he's writing the lyrics of a HIP brand new tune.

MORE SOLOS, EVEN MORE SOLOS

GUITAR SOLO

And it's, "Hey, babe, with your guardian eyes so blue,
Hey, my baby, don't you know our love is true,
I've been so far from here,
Far from your loving arms,
Now I'm back again, and babe it's gonna work out fine."

SYNTHESIZER SOLO

Can't you feel our souls ignite
Shedding ever changing colours, in the darkness of the fading night,
Like the river joins the ocean, as the germ in a seed grows
We have finally been freed to get back home.

SYNTHESIZER SOLO

There's an angel standing in the sun, and he's crying with a loud voice,
"This is the supper of the mighty One",
The Lord of Lords,
King of Kings,
Has returned to lead His children home,
To take them to the new Jerusalem.

FINAL SYNTHESIZER SOLO, ENDING


MM: Beat that, wimps.
Chao: Shade, we can't beat that! That was... that was PERFECT!
Shade: *gulp* ...I have an idea.
"Tribute" by Tenacious D, Remade by Shade.



Shade: (talking) This is the greatest and best song in the world... Tribute.


Shade: Long time ago me, and my pal Shadow, here,
we was escapin' down a long and lonesome ship.
All of a sudden, there shined a shiny demon... in the middle... of the room.
And he said:
"(singing)Play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your soul."
(talking)Well me and Shadow, we looked at each other,
and we each said... "Okay."

(singing)And we played the first thing that came to our heads,
Just so happened to be,
The Best Song in the World, it was The Best Song in the World.


Look into my eyes and it's easy to see
One and one make two, two and one make three,
It was destiny.
Once every hundred-thousand years or so,
When the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow,
And the grass doth grow...


(talking) Needless to say, the beast was stunned.
Whip-crack went his schwumpy tail,
And the beast was done.
He asked us: "(snort) Be you angels?"
And we said, "Nay. We are but men."
ROCK!
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,
Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!


(talking) This is not The Greatest Song in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.
Couldn't remember The Greatest Song in the World, no, no.
This is a tribute, oh, to The Greatest Song in the World,
All right! It was The Greatest Song in the World,
All right! It was the best mutha****in' song the greatest song in the world.
[the music stops as Shade and Shadow start skatting]
[the music resumes]

GUITAR RIFF


(talking) And the peculiar thing is this my friends:
the song we sang on that fateful night it didn't actually sound
anything like this song.

(singing)This is just a tribute! You gotta believe me!
And I wish you were there! Just a matter of opinion.
Ah, ****! Good God, God lovin',
So surprised to find you can't stop it.
[they start skatting again]
All right! All right!

GUITAR SOLO, ENDING

MM: N-no way! You... you bested me! NO WAY; I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! ARRGH, HE'S NOT GONNA GET AWAY WITH THIS! GET A LOAD OF THIS!
[Guilty Spark shines an extremely bright light, and uses it to escape]
Shade: AARGH! He flashbang'd us!
DH: Quick, let's get out of here.
[they make a mad dash for some random escape pod, and manage to escape... except...]
[the MILKMAN appears before they enter the pod... and kills everyone....]
Shade: Except me.
[cut to Shade in the Dark Garden; ashes everywhere]
Shade: For some reason, he spared me. To this day, I still wonder why.
[Shade closes his eyes]
Shade: And I managed to drive the escape pod to the Gardens, where I found that the Dark Garden had stopped burning.
[Shade sits down, and crosses his arms]
Shade: ...and now, I have told you the story of my journey to defeat the Beta Avengers... and my journey for the Chaos Drives.
[Shade opens his eyes]
Shade: I have told you the story of the Gray Journey. In the end, I wasn't successful either way.
[Shade sighs]
Shade: The MILKMAN is not defeated, and I'm short one Chaos Drive. Looks like the Betas were avenged, after all...
[suddenly, something twinkles in the ashes]
Shade: Huh?
[Shade gets up and examines it... and he finds a yellow Chaos Drive]
TO BE CONCLUDED...