Insert whatever picture you want. Like...... I dunno. John McCain kissing Barrack Obama in a flowery meadow.
So, all this time, I've been talking and hyping up a super long script of Gears of War in DCA format. Yet.... I've failed to even inform you of the most important thing!
You do NOT have to have played Gears of War to understand this.
Just letting you know. I tried my best to explain everything, plus the only things I really KEPT from the game were the relative locations, and the chainsaw gun. It's called a Lancer, but I called it the chainsaw gun, to make things simpler. It might be hard to imagine a few of the situations in the story, but nothing too crazy will happen. .....well.... actually, no. Lots of crazy stuff will happen. Things that only I know about. Not even BlackPhoenix knows about some of these things. They're..... supa crazy.
Back to the casual chatting. You're not gonna get incredibly that much casual chatting from me, trust me. Make the most of it.
There's only one musical game people are biased against more than Rock Band, and that is Wii Music. I don't see why people hate that one, either. Then again, I've yet to play it. Still, some people (the ones who HAVE played it) say it's fun. Very fun. So.... who should I trust?
So, yesterday I mentioned "The Ultimate Chimera," of MOTHER 3. (NOTE: Spoilers for Chapter 7 and beyond of MOTHER 3) Well, the Ultimate Chimera is.... it's a creature. An odd creature. All I can really say, really. If you want a good look at it, it's in Super Smash Brothers Brawl, you know. Here, let me get you a nice screenshot.
What the crap IS it? It's a chimera. I think a chimera is some kind of mixture of animals, or something. Anyway, in MOTHER 3, in Chapter 7.... well..... I'll use my SUPER AWESOME SUPER BAWESOME DJAY WRITING SKILLZ to give you a good idea of how scared I am of it.
(Another Note: The following is a short story I made on the spot. It's basically a certain part of Chapter 7 of MOTHER 3 put into paragraph form, mixed with my awesome DJay skillz. So, spoilers.)
Lucas stepped into the specimen room, looking at all the exhibits. It resembled a museum, with stuffed animals, and dinosaur bones. He heard the chitter-chatter of a monkey, and remembered his goal-- to find the two monkeys that ran loose in the Chimera Labs.
He opened the nearby door, and found two monkeys. They shrieked, and dashed past him. Not to be outran, Lucas chased after them, before bumping into a robotic lion. The lion, which was actually mostly robotic save for part of its face, was being held by a rope by two Pigmask soldiers (soldiers in a pig-like uniform). They told Lucas to watch out as it broke from the ropes and charged forward. Lucas used a little PK Love power, and it was knocked right back into submission.
"Whoa, nice one! That leaves only one more chimera on the loose..." one said, relieved.
"You mean the ultimate one?" The other replied, in fear.
"The.... the ultimate one? ....oh, pork. Quick! Secure the exits! Close the windows!"
"Yes, sir!" The Pigmask ran off-screen as the other one turned to Lucas.
"Listen, kid. I know you're just a part-timer here, but you gotta watch out. If you ever see a red creature with a big, gaping mouth.... WATCH. OUT. Okay? Got that? DON'T EVEN TRY FIGHTING IT. You won't stand a chance. Just stay out of its way."
The Pigmask looked at a stuffed frog in a jar nearby. "Also, I'd highly recommend you PLEASE DON'T AVOID TALKING TO THAT FROG. Okay? Okay. Good luck," and with that, the Pigmask left the room.
All went quiet. The background music stopped. Pigs were heard oinking in the distance. Light growls were also heard. The oinks became more consistant, as were the growls. Then, a loud roar was heard, as were the squeals of multiple pigs. Lucas was very scared now. He remembered the Pigmask's advice about the frog, and approached it.
"*ribbit* Just 'cause I'm stuffed doesn't mean I can't save your game. Do you want me to save?" After the frog asked that, Lucas nodded, and the frog resumed, "Okay. Save slot one? Right. ....okay! Be careful out there. Give my regards to the next frog you meet, okay?"
Lucas entered the next hallway, and begun his dangerous search for the monkeys. Where could they be? He thought to himself. This lab has got to be four stories large! ...which is pretty big for MOTHER 3. Suddenly, he found a Pigmask soldier lying on the ground, groaning.
"Ugh.... I tried running to this room to take cover.... but I wasn't fast enough. I gotta remember to try dashing next time."
Lucas walked down the long, long hallway, walking past unconscious Pigmasks and empty rooms. Eventually, he reached an elevator. He boarded it, and decided to check the third floor.
The third floor was just like the first. Pigs squealing in the distance, Pigmasks on the floor, and empty rooms. So, last stop, first floor.
As soon as Lucas reached the first floor, the background music returned. Oh... I must be too far from that chimera thing for the music to be affected. So, I'm in the clear, Lucas thought. However, he barely had to take three steps before seeing a large devil's tail sticking up to the ceiling from around some crates. He peeked around the crates, and saw a large, red-ish beast with four legs, and a duck on its head. It had devil's wings and a devil's tail. It was the Ultimate Chimera.... with its back turned.
Lucas stepped away quickly, before bumping into his dog, Boney. He had completely forgotten Boney was even with him! He must have stepped on its leg or something, because Boney howled louder than expected. Slowly, the Ultimate Chimera turned around, and a yellow exclamation mark appeared above its head. Its face was ghastlier than its back-- two vague, yellow eyes seem to see everything, and a mouth that stretched across half its body make a very, VERY spooky-looking creature.
Before Lucas even had a chance to think about running, the Ultimate Chimera had reached over and bitten his head. .......clean off.
Yeah, that's a very slight idea of how scary it is. It is like.... a scarier version of the Bezerker, from Gears of War. At least the Bezerker moved in a scripted fashion, and you could KILL it. And at least you might have a chance of survival if you're killed by it (only in Co-op, though). And at least the Bezerker doesn't randomly show up when you least expect it. I mean, once you've beaten the game, you pretty much know all the Bezerker's tactics. The Ultimate Chimera shows up randomly among the three floors of the Chimera Labs, and is usually standing in front of the way out, as well. Plus, if you don't know where to go, then you could be stuck in that place for a LONG time, trying to avoid that thing and trying to find the way to go.
Even when you DO kill it (scripted, of course), it still lives. That thing..... it even pops up later in the game, when you seriously least expect it. For those who ARE playing MOTHER 3, and want to know where it pops up later, I'll give you a hint. In the bathroom, you might knock on a door and hear a chime. Don't you DARE open that door.
Well, that's it for today. Talk to you again later.