Friday, October 31, 2008

Gears n' Roses Act 3: Belly of the Beast and the Harlot

[cut to the Junker in a forest; it's raining]
[the Junker suddenly stops; Delta Squad gets out]
Shade: Eggman? This is Delta. Junker's down.
Egg: Oh. Well... according to my data, the factory you're looking for is just ahead.
Shade: That's awfully convenient, sarge. I don't like the way this is going.
Egg: Look, you need to take advantage of these situations, becuase you won't get many more of them. Now, go!
Dark: Well?
Shade: The factory's up ahead. Come on; let's get moving.
[they start walking through the forest]
Cham: *sigh* I hate the rain.
Shade: Yeah? That's 'cause you're a Neutral chao. Rain's awesome. It's good for you. It's good for the environment. It rocks.
[pitter patter]
Chao: ...what was that?
Shade: What was what?
Chao: ..........nothing. Probably just hearing things.
[pitter patter]
Chao: There it was again!
Shade: *sigh* What did it SOUND like?
Chao: Like... something slowly walking on pipes.
Shade: Look around you. Do you see any pipes?
Dark: There's one.
[they see a huge factory in front of them, with lots of pipes coming out of it]
[suddenly, something jumps down, and starts running to them]
[Shade shoots it; it blows up]
Shade: Whoa! What the hell was that?
Chao: More of 'em coming our way.
[Delta Squad readies their guns. .....and roses]
[the creatures bash into them]
[a creature breaks the Junker's door open]
Radio: Hello, and you're listening to 200.1 FM, Chao Chat, where we play the most conveniently-placed songs and interviews. ...EVER. Next up on our setlist, is "Welcome to the Jungle," by Guns N' Roses. Once again, this is 200.1 FM, Chao Chat.

[as the music plays, Delta Squad fights off the strange creatures in the jungle-y forest]
Welcome to the jungle!
We've got fun 'n' games!
We got everything you want.
Honey, we know the names.
We are the people that can find
Whatever you may need.
If you got the money, honey,
We got your disease.

In the jungle,
Welcome to the jungle!
Watch it bring you to your
knees, knees!
I wanna watch you bleed.

Welcome to the jungle!
We take it day by day!
If you want it, you're gonna bleed,
But that's the price you pay.
And you're a very sexy girl
That's very hard to please.
You can taste the bright lights,
But you won't get them for free.

In the jungle,
Welcome to the jungle!
Feel my, my, my serpentine!
I, I wanna hear you scream!

*guitar solo*

Welcome to the jungle!
It gets worse here everyday!
Ya learn ta live like an animal
In the jungle where we play.
If you got a hunger for what you see,
You'll take it eventually!
You can have anything you want!
But you better not take it from me.

In the jungle,
Welcome to the jungle!
Watch it bring you to your
knees, knees!
I wanna watch you bleed.

And when you're high you never,
Never want to come down, come down, come down, YEAH!

*guitar solo*

You know where you are!
You're in the jungle, baby!
You're gonna die!

In the jungle,
Welcome to the jungle!
Watch it bring you to your
knees, knees!

In the jungle,
Welcome to the jungle!
Feel my, my, my serpentine

In the jungle,
Welcome to the jungle!
Watch it bring you to your
knees, knees!

In the jungle,
Welcome to the jungle!
Watch it bring you to your--
It's gonna bring you down-HA!

Announcer: That was "Welcome to the Jungle," by Guns N' Roses. Next up, we got "Thriller," by Mic--
[a creature destroys the radio, and is shot by Shade]
[the creatures stop coming]
Dark: Conveniently-placed songs, indeed.
Chao: What WERE those things?
Shade: I don't know. But, I don't wanna stick around to find out. Let's keep moving.
[they reach the entrance to the factory, and try to open the door]
Shade: Damn. Locked.
Shade: Control, this is Delta. We've reached the factory, but the front door is locked.
Egg: Copy that, Delta. Uh... I think there's an elevator to the second floor close to you. Somewhere.
Shade: Wilco. Delta out.
Shade: Eggman says there's another way in. Cham, you and Chao go that way. We'll go this way.
Cham: Man, I don't like this...
Shade: I understand. Now, go!
Cham: .....yes, SIR!
[Cham and Chao go in their direction]
Dark: That was a little harsh.
Shade: Are you being serious, or random?
Dark: ...LOOK, A TOASTER! *runs off*
[they check the outside of the factory, and find an elevator]
[it doesn't work]
Dark: I bet if we continue pressing it, it eventually will.
Shade: .....I doubt it.
[Shade looks around, and finds a button]
Shade: Hm?
Dark: Shade, the elevator works now.
Shade: Yay!
[the mysterious creatures are coming]
Shade: Crap!
[they quickly take the elevator, and jump onto the rooftop]
Shade: It's a good thing Chao isn't here.
[Shade looks down at the dozens of creatures running around]
Shade: He's scared crapless as it is.
[they enter a window]
[it's really dark and spooky]
Dark: Hey, Shade?
Shade: Yeah?
Dark: Why is it that you always want me to come with you?
Shade: 'Cause we're best pals, dude! Or.... well, I dunno. I suppose it's 'cause you're a Dark chao, like me.
[they find a door-- locked]
Shade: Damn. Are there ANY unlocked doors in this place?
[they walk down a different corridor, and hear a small crash]
Both: What the!?
[they catch a glimpse of something moving]
Dark: I don't like this place...
[they find another door-- unlocked]
Shade: Yep?
Cham: Any luck?
Shade: Yeah. We're in. But, it's very dark.
Dark: YAY!
Cham: Heh... we're in the basement, so you're in luck. There might be a switch or two around here...
Shade: Keep looking for it.
[they walk through a few corridors, while occasionally catching glimpses of things moving]
[they open a door, and the lights turn on]
Both: HOLY ****!!!
[a ton of dead bodies, lots of blood, and just plain fright]
Chao: Hey, we got the lights!
Shade: Yep, Chao.... you did.
Dark: Yeah, liked it better with them off.
Chao: What?
Shade: Don't worry about it. Just find a way for us to regroup.
Chao: Uh... wilco.
Shade: Let's hurry and leave this room.
Dark: ....
Shade: Dark?
Dark: ........................
Shade: Dark...?
Dark: ....................huh? Oh... um.... okey-dokey.
[they leave the room, and Dark takes another look at a certain dead body]
[the camera zooms in on the dead body]
[one eye is missing, a leg is missing, a bunch of scars cover it, and it has three tails WTF?]
[cut to Shade and Dark exploring more rooms]
[they enter a room, and see a bunch of furniture, and a cowboy hat]
[the hat moves]
[it rises, and reveals that it's being worn by Dark-Hawk!]
DH: Shade? Dark? Wow, am I glad to see you guys!
Shade: Dark-Hawk? What are you doing here?
DH: Waiting for you guys. You.... ARE the rescue team, right?
Shade: ...Dark, what do you think?
Dark: I dunno, I mean... he IS a dedicated member of our army.
Shade: .......all right, Dark-Hawk. You can come with us.
DH: Yay!
Shade: So, do you know how to get to the actual factory part of this building? 'Cause this seems more like a haunted house.
DH: Huh? Me? Aren't we leaving?
Shade: Not yet. We've got work to do. Now, c'mon. Help us open this door.
[Dark-Hawk opens a door for them, and they follow him through the facility]
DH: Well..... I DO know that there's a real factory deep underground. But, to get there, you have to ride these minecarts. You need the cart control room.
Shade: And... do you know where that IS?
DH: Somewhere this way. Really, you soldiers are all the same. Bunch of macho, facist PIGS.
[they reach a big corridor with rickety, wooden planks for a floor]
DH: I know it's not too far from here. That's all I know, thou--
[the floorboards break, and Dark-Hawk falls down]
[Shade and Dark look down the hole, and see Dark-Hawk being torn apart by the mysterious creatures]
Shade: Once again, lost in a strange place with no tour guide.
[they take a step back, and look at the huge corridor]
[no floorboard looks stable]
[they hear lots of creaks and cringes]
[they also hear the creatures breathing, grunting, and running around]
[but, most of all.... they hear their own fear. That's deep.]
[after what seems like minutes, Shade took a deep breath, and slowly stepped forward]
[he hears a loud creak, and quickly jumps back; the floorboard he just stepped on breaks]
[Shade pants; he just avoided a gruesome death]
[Dark slowly follows Shade as he carefully steps across the maze of floorboards, quickly stepping back for every loud creak]
[eventually, they reach the end]
[Dark's yelling drowns out the loud creak as he steps forward]
[and Dark's smile instantly becomes a frown as his footing breaks beneath him, sending him plummeting into the dark depths]
Shade: DARK!
Dark: HELP ME!!!
[Dark manages to grab on to Shade's hand]
Shade: Hang on, Dark!
Dark: I'm trying!
[then, Dark feels a sharp pain in his leg-- a creature is grabbing it, and dragging him down!]
Dark: HELP! HELP! PLEASE! NO! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! *sniff* Please.........
Shade: *sniff* Just... hold on tight, Dark........ we'll get out of this one, I swear...
Dark: I'm slipping....
[Dark falls down]
Shade: DARK!
[Shade dives into the hole]
[cut to Dark, cowering]
Dark: No, no, no, no, no, no, no...
[Dark looks up and sees one of the creatures]
Dark: AIEE--..........what.....the?
[Dark spends a little bit staring at the creature]
Shade: Hey, ugly! I got something for ya!
[the creature turns around, and Shade chainsaws it in half (although it blows up)]
Shade: C'mon, Dark!
[Shade grabs Dark, and runs for the ladder at the other end of the room]
[as they climb the ladder, the camera shows a creature attempting to climb it, then turns around, showing its face]
[one eye is missing, and it has tons of scars; its mouth is sewn shut]
[in its other eye, the one that's there, it has a very spacious gaze, sorta like the abyss]
[basically, it's like it's staring into your soul]
[anyway, Shade and Dark make it back up, and make it past the corridor this time]
Dark: HOLY CRAP....... dude...... that... was....... oh, man....
Shade: Are you alright?
Dark: I... I'm not sure...
Shade: Well, are you ready to move on? 'Cause I think we're at the cart control room.
Dark: Really?
Shade: We're close.
Cham: Hey, dude and dudette.
Shade: ....what?
Cham: Doesn't matter. Guess where we are!
Shade: *sigh* Control, could you give us their location?
Egg: Looks like... the sewers?
Cham: It smells like **** down here, man!
Shade: Whatever. Just get to the cart control room. 'Cause we're already here.
Cham: Wilco, Shadester. Delta Two out.
[Cham and Chao make it, and they all get on the mine carts]
[the mine carts start moving down the path]
[they are all in a different cart, just to let you know]
Shade: Well, this is boring. How are you guys doing?
Dark: Alright.
Cham: All set on this end.
Chao: Bring it ON!!!
Shade: Good. Good. *looks in front of carts*, ****.
Shade: Uh, control? Could you... redirect the carts? We're.... heading into a furnace.
Shade: Control? Seriously. REDIRECT THE CARTS.
Shade: We're heading into a fire!
Egg: At the end of the test, you will be baked, and then there will be cake.
Egg: No, I'm at the cart redirect console, but I need a password. The clue is, "At the end of the test, you will be baked, and then there will be cake." Any ideas?
Shade: Uh... uh...... the cake is a lie!
Egg: *types in password* Password accepted.
[the carts turn just before they reach the fire]
Shade: Phew....
[the carts begin to speed up a little, and enter a large room with a Boomer]
Chao: Holy crap! What's HE doing here?
Cham: Checking tickets?
Shade: Dark, drop a train on 'em!
Dark: Aye-aye, sir!
[Dark tosses a grenade at the Boomer-- BOOM!]
Chao: "Drop a train on 'em?"
Dark: It's a Homestar Runner thing.
[they keep moving through the factory, shooting robots as they see them]
[eventually, the carts reach their station]
[Chao hits Shade's cart, and flips right into it]
Chao: Heh.... that was fun.
Shade: Great. I'm stuck with you, while Dark gets to partner up with Cham.
Chao: Shut up and let's go.
[they walk down the hall, shooting the occasional creature, before reaching a very large room]
Egg: Delta, the elevators leading into the actual factory are in that room. I'll send them up for you.
Shade: Cool. Oh, and, control?
Egg: Yep?
Shade: What's so special about the actual factory, again?
Egg: *sigh* You have to put the resonator into the core of the factory, so we can get a good map of the place.
Shade: And then bomb the crap outta them?
Egg: Exactly. I'll send the elevators up now.
Shade: Okay.
[Chao peeks over the edge, looking at the elevator]
Chao: Uh..... Shade? We've got a small problem.
Shade: Name it.
Chao: Boomers are getting on the elevators.
Shade: lol wut?
Chao: I'm serious.
Shade: ......really? ....crap. *radio* Dark, Cham?
Dark: We're here.
Shade: Get ready 2 rokk.
Dark: Right. ....why?
Shade: Boomers. On the elevators.
Dark: Oh. ......less talk, more rokk.
Cham: lolz freezepop *radio off*
[as soon as the Boomers reach the top, expecting to surprise them, they are ambushed, and killed]
Dark: I love ironing.
Cham: Irony.
Dark: Whatever.
[they get on the elevators, and take them down.... down into the depths of the factory]
[the elevators stop in a completely metal factory-- no loose boards, no broken windows, nothing out of place]
Shade: Can we pause this thing for a second?
[the screen turns black and white, and a pause menu appears]
Cham: Hey, why'd you pause it?
Dark: Yeah, I'm ready to kick some arson!
Shade: Something's not right here. If this really IS a DCA adaption of Gears of War....
Chao: *coughfourthwallcough*
Shade: ...then, shouldn't this chapter take place in an underground cavern? A dark one?
Cham: Maybe DJay's changing it to make things work better for the story.
Shade: ............still, something is just..... off. I don't know WHAT, though.
Dark: Worry about it when you have a worrywart on your toe. For now, unpause the script!
Shade: All right.
[they explore the corridors of the factory, and are shocked to find no robots, or sign of life, or doors, or signs, or anything]
Cham: Strange.... it would appear that this factory is either a decoy....
Shade: Or Metal Sonic took advice from Turrican.
Chao: That reminds me. I wonder what Chao Talk is like in the future?
Shade: I'd rather not find out.
Cham: What if we were to try splitting up?
Dark: NO!!!
Chao: Please, no.
Shade: Yeah, if even DARK knows it's a bad idea, then it IS.
Cham: Come on. What's the worst that could happen?
Shade: NEVER ask that question. You hear me? NEVER ask it.
Cham: Fine. Let's just keep wandering through this strange 'factory.'
Dark: Okay.
[they wander around for a few minutes, before Cham gets too bored]
Cham: That's IT! You guys can go that way, I'M gonna go THIS way!
[CRASH!!! The wall directly in front of Cham is busted open]
Shade: (whispering) Cham. Keep quiet, and slowly.... tiptoe.... back... here.
[Cham nods, and slowly tiptoes back into the group]
[they slowly back around a corner]
Shade: (from now on until further noted, they whisper) Stay here, and stay quiet. I'm going to keep a look out.
[Shade peeks around the corner]
Dark: Well?
Shade: Still there.
Dark: Shade, I REALLY don't like where this is going.
Shade: Me, neither. But.... there's only one way to get ourselves out of this. Well, one SAFE way.
Chao: Shade.... I'd like to know... was that thing..... was it..... what I think it is?
Cham: It's... no. Can't be. You two... killed... it.
Shade: We never killed it. It ran away, remember?
[getting the clue yet?]
[the camera takes its point of view, slowly moving towards the group]
[although, technically, it doesn't HAVE a point of view, but whatever]
Shade: ...guys, we've got to keep backing up. Slowly. Quietly. Just keep.... backing up.
[they back up, but then, Dark snaps]
Dark: (regular volume) I... I can't do this. *shoots it*
Shade: Dark...... STOP. NOW.
Dark: (regular volume) I CAN'T! I don't want to do this!
[it realizes where Dark is]
It: Ah.... DARK. THAT'S where you four are. I knew I could hear........ WHISPERING.
Shade: This was never part of Gears of War! I call a mulligan!
It: Oh, you WOULD... want a mulligan...... wouldn'
Chao: (from now on, it's back to normal volume) Mecha... what happened to you?
MK: I got.... an upgrade. THAT'S.... what happened. Help, mommy. ACK. No. Get out of... my.... HEAD!
[Mecha holds his head, then punches the wall, breaking it open, and revealing a new room]
Shade: (whispering) Dark, keep distracting him. Get him away from that hole. We need to get into that hole.
MK: What? Oh, I get it. I want you to go into my hole, Ness; is THAT it?
Shade: N-no, nothing like that!
MK: I...... see. Well, make sure to write to me when you're down there.
Dark: Down where?
Shade: Dark.
Dark: .......OH. That was uncalled for.
[Shade grabs Dark and dives into the hole]
[Mecha doesn't notice]
Dark: Shade, what about Chao and Cham?
Shade: You're right. I mean, if Mecha's here, there are bound to be more dangerous things.... so we'll need their help.
Dark: What about our singing and stuff?
Shade: For some reason, I don't think Rubber Goose is gonna get us out of another mess.
Dark: Good point. Our only option is to help the others.
[they peek out through the hole, and see Mecha walking around, sniffing, while Chao and Cham are frozen in fear]
Dark: How are we gonna get to them?
Shade: Time for some Metal Gear Shade action.
[Shade puts on a bandanna, and sneaks out into the hallway]
[he cautiously goes around Mecha, and makes it to Cham and Chao]
Cham: Help...
Shade: Shh. Follow me. Quietly.
[they follow him, but halfway through, Chao lets out a whimper]
[Mecha turns directly towards them]
MK: There you are.
[Mecha grabs Chao]
Chao: Yikes!
MK: Chao.... look deeply into my eye..... section.
Chao: No! I won't fall for your tricks!
MK: Either look, or I'll kill you now.
Chao: So, about that eye place...
[Chao looks deeply in, and becomes lost in the abyss before Shade plants a grenade on Mecha]
MK: What the?
[Chao manages to run, and the three jump into the hole]
Dark: Shade.... that was cool.
Shade: Yep.
Dark: Let's hurry and get out of here.
Shade: Good.
[they continue down this new section of the factory, where things are somewhat bulkier]
Cham: Man, I wonder where the core of this place is...
Shade: I'm wondering on why DJay sent us here, instead of the cavern place we were SUPPOSED to go to.
Cham: Wait. So... you KNOW what's happening?
Shade: Not entirely. I just know the little things, like there are five acts, and stuff.
Cham: I..... see.
Shade: Hey, if I knew what was happening, I'd have expected future me to be killed at that part.
Dark: He makes a good point.
[after a little bit, they find a window showing a large room]
All: NO WAY.
[through the window, they see the room where all the robots lie in standby]
Cham: ...can... we... split up... now?
Shade: I don't know why, but... yes. We'll meet up... here.... in half an hour.
[they all go their seperate ways]
[we follow Shade, since nobody else finds anything interesting]
Shade: Hmm.... I don't know WHY I agreed to this. It's like... something was controlling me.
[Shade walks past an open door, stops, then walks back to it]
Shade: What the?
[inside the door is a staircase leading downwards]
[down the stairs seems to be a cavern-like place]
[Shade peeks, and sees it's a long, long cavern, with a few lights along the way]
[a bright light is at the end of the cavern]
Shade: Oh, man.... I REALLY know I shouldn't, but...
[Shade goes down]
[he walks down the cavern, and eventually reaches the bright light]
?: Hello, Shade. I was expecting you.
[Shade shields his eyes from the light, then eventually asks, "Dad?"]
?: Guess again.
Shade: Uh.... future me?
?: He's dead. Did you forget?
Shade: Dark?
Shade: wai cant b
?: Oh, yea wai, Shade. For, 'tis I..... the current and everlasting ruler of the world... the galaxy...
[a figure steps out of the bright light]
[the figure is wearing elf-like shoes, a dark cape, and has huge spikes coming out of its head]
[it also has sharp claws for hands coming out of what look like huge, robotic sleeves]
[its most distinguishing features, though... are the eyes, glowing blood red]
[WHO'S THAT POKEMANZ?! IT'S NEO METAL SONIC! The one from Sonic Heroes. In case you didn't know, that's his official name.]
MS: ...Metal Sonic. Previously Hyper Metal Sonic. As of a few years ago, I am Neo Metal Sonic.
Shade: Eh, "Recycled Metal" sounds WAY cooler.
MS: You can never trust Game Informer, Shade. ...although, yeah, it DOES sound cooler. ANYWAY!
Shade: Yes, anyway.
MS: I called you down here because you need to wake up.
Shade: What?
[Shade bolts up from his sleep, sweat dripping down his face]
[it's the middle of the night, and he's in the Dark Garden]
Shade: .....wha? ..guess it was all just... a dream.
[Shade looks around before going back to sleep]
[then, his eyes burst open, in realization that he's the only one there!]
[he wakes up AGAIN! This time, he's in the factory, outside the door leading to the cavern]
Shade: What is going on?!
[Shade notices the door is closed]
[he gets up, and reaches for the doorknob]
[as soon as he opens it, he sees Mecha, but that image randomly disappears]
[behind the door is a small office; there's a desk, and a spinny chair spun to face the other way]
[there is also a random fireplace that the spinny chair is facing]
[Shade looks at the chair, and can swear that he sees Metal's fingers]
[he stays very quiet]
Shade: ...............................................h.e...llo?
MS?: ...........
Shade: ...Metal?
MS?: ...........
Shade: Metal, is that you?
[as Metal? stays quiet, Shade slowly approaches the chair]
[he extends his arm, preparing to spin the chair]
MS: Stop. It's me.
Shade: AHH!
MS: Calm down, mortal. Just, please... DON'T... spin this chair.
Shade: Why not? What's wrong?
MS: You are probably curious as to what's going on here.
Shade: I... suppose.
MS: I shall put it simply. You recall that, earlier, I invaded the gardens under the title, "Murderous Mechetal?"
Shade: Yeah. Worst Season Finale ever.
MS: You recall the way I invaded? The things I used? I cannot recall their names...
Shade: Stardust? ....Instability?
MS: Yes! That's it! Instabilities!
Shade: What about them? First off, I thought we killed them off, and second, what do they have to do with this?
MS: You merely destroyed the weird sphere thing that was their leader. It was Solaris, or something.
Shade: Yeah.
MS: Well, it turns out that... the Instability merely stopped moving through the first three dimensions. They can still move freely throughout the fourth.
Shade: .......?
MS: Wait, no, that's not right. Um... let me think... they are still alive. However, I sealed them off in this factory for a few years.
Shade: way.
MS: Yep. Months ago, I encountered a sudden partial memory loss. I think. I'm not sure anymore... it's like something was controlling me...
Shade: You went to the factory.
MS: Yes. As soon as I came to, the Instabilities were gone, and I had an awesome army at my feet.
Shade: Wow. So... what do you want me to do about it?
MS: There's something going on here, Shade. And, you know what? I'm putting YOU in charge of figuring it out.
MS: Well, of course, your squad can help you. And, I'll help you via radio.
Shade: Why can't we just stick to the Gears of War script?
MS: We're going back to that script in Act 4, okay? That's all I know, though.
Shade: I see. Well..... okay. I'll talk to you once I find some stuff out.
MS: Good. Now, go.
[Shade walks up his stairs, and stops in fright as he sees Mecha down the hall]
[Shade runs back into Metal's office, and closes the door]
Shade: Metal, do you know what's up with Mec--
[Shade turns around, and sees that the chair has turned around, and Metal is sitting there]
[Shade has some tears brought to his eyes, and is trembling]
MS: Horrifying, isn't it? This has been slowly happening for the past few months. Ever since I went to this factory...
Shade: But... but.... but, I recognize...... I recognize.........
MS: What?
[Shade is too freaked out by Metal's appearance]
[Metal's eye is missing, his arm is gone, and he is slowly growing two more tails]
Shade: *deep breath, closes eyes* I recognize your appearance. Your...... disease, if you will.
MS: You do? Impossible! Mecha told me he had never seen this before!
Shade: serious? There are dead people in the upstairs section that look like you, and......
MS: And?
Shade: We... we found the Tails Doll in Station Square. He looked like that.
MS: ...................I see. Anything else?
Shade: We've seen some strange creatures.... in the upstairs factory, and outside it.
MS: Strange creatures? I assume they had these features?
Shade: Yes. But.... they also had another.
MS: Another?
Shade: Their mouths were sewn shut.
MS: .....interesting.
Shade: By the way, Metal? Could you tell me a bit about Mecha's upgrades?
MS: His upgrades? WHAT upgrades?
Shade: ...................................NO WAY. I refuse.... to believe this. I just.... CAN'T.
MS: What?
Shade: You're telling me Mecha somehow gained the power of smell, lost his sight, got covered in blood, and grew three times in size just by CHANCE?
MS: ....he WHAT?!
Shade: Man, what ELSE don't you know about?
MS: Well.... I haven't even left this factory since I awoke here a few months a--
Shade: OBJECTION! You killed Future me yesterday in Station Square!
MS: ....WHAAAAAAAT?! What ELSE have I done?
Shade: Future me said you came into the Dark Garden with Mecha and the Tails Doll a while ago, and destroyed the place.
MS: ..unbelievable. ...and how is Station Square? Still the city that never sleeps?
Shade: seriously never left this factory, have you? Wow.
MS: Let me guess. It's in ruins?
Shade: Worse. Every night, some computer virus named KYLL comes out and kills things.
MS: Shade... I must come with you. Out this factory. I must help you set things back to normal.
Shade: So, you sure you can get out of this place?
MS: Of course! Come on.
[Metal is about to open the door when Shade stops him]
Shade: Like I said... Mecha. He's out there. He's super deadly.
MS: Relax. I'll try to talk to him.
[Metal steps outside while Shade watches from the door]
MK: HM? WHAT........... IS THAT....
MS: Mecha. How go things?
MK: Boss. I... I haven't seen you in a while!
MS: And I you, Mecha. I see you got some upgrades.
MK: Y...yes.
MS: When did you acquire such things?
MK: It... it wasn't too long ago. I mean, you spent your days cooped up in that room. What's in there, anyway?
MS: It does not matter. Why did you not inform me of the KYLL? And Station Square?
MK: ............................Shade is in there. He told you of these things.
MS: Um....
MK: You betrayed your own kind, sir?
MS: Now, HOLD ON. I never betrayed anyone. There are no laws which state that we can't talk to the chao.
MK: ...
MS: If anything, YOU have betrayed ME, by not informing me of this virus!
MK: ..........
[Shade dives backwards as the door is busted open]
MS: Mecha!
[Mecha grabs Shade]
Shade: Help!
Shade: O CRAP!
[Mecha is just about to punch Shade when Metal shoots him; Mecha drops Shade]
MS: Run, Shade.
Shade: ....
[Shade runs away]
[cut to the window place; the others have been waiting for Shade]
Chao: Took you long enough.
Cham: What the crap were you DOING back there?
[Shade explains the whole thing]
Dark: ................................holy crap, dude.
Cham: So Metal saved your butt back there? Nice.
Chao: Yeah, but now where do we go?
Shade: Hmm...
Shade: Eggman, where is the core of the factory?
Shade: Eggman?, crap.
MS: *static* .......Shade? You there?
Shade: Metal? Hey, how ya doing?
MS: I managed to trap Mecha in a big room made of some sort of tough steel.
Shade: Hey, do you know where the core of the factory is?
MS: The core? Yeah, that's the room where I woke up months ago.
Shade: Oh. Thanks.
Cham: Well?
Shade: I think the core is that huge room right there. Through that window.
[they break through the window, and enter the core room]
Shade: So, what were the directions? Throw the resonator in here, and run off?
Cham: That's about it.
Shade: Okay--
Dark: That's a new sound.
[something huge is digging around]
Shade: Crap.
[it breaks out of the ground, revealing a giant crab-like robotic creature]
Chao: What.... the....
All: CRAP!
[the creature/robot roars]
Dark: What do we do?
Shade: Shoot the freaking thing!
[budda budda budda]
[the monster isn't even harmed]
Dark: Now what?
Shade: Activate the resonator, and RUN!
[STOMP.......; Shade's face fills with fear]
[STOMP.......; Dark's face fills with fear]
[STOMP.......; Cham's face fills with fear]
[STOMP.......; Chao's face fills with fear]
[Mecha Knuckles enters the room]
MK: *sniff* Smells like my pal's here. *sniff* ....and chao.
Chao: Crap...
Shade: Mecha.
MK: Hmm?
Shade: Tell me what this thing is.
MK: What, my pal? He's nothing special... just an old foe of yours.
Shade: .....
MK: Right, you've had LOTS of old foes. Well, he's a creature being controlled by the Tails Doll.
Shade: A creature covered with weird, robotic parts?
MK: Like with me, he has been..... upgraded.
Shade: Dark, you and Cham take Mecha. Chao and I will try and stop this, uh....
MK: This particular species is called, "Corpse Maker."
Shade: Right. We'll take the Corpse Maker.
MK: Mmhmmhmmhmmhmmm...... very well. Take me on.
[they begin the fight]
[let's start with Shade and Chao versus the Corpse Maker]
[Chao tries shooting it-- nothing]
[the Corpse Maker smashes the ground at their feet]
Shade: Yikes!
[Shade looks around, and sees a big tank of acid]
Shade: Chao! Co-op snipe that tank!
Chao: Got it.
[they get out random sniper rifles, and carefully ignore the monster while aiming for the tank]
Shade: Careful. 3... 2.... 1..--
[Mecha hits Chao; Chao flies across the room, and hits the wall]
MK: *evil laughter* Looks like there'll be no two-man army co-op sniping for you, Shade.
Cham: Shade, man, what were you THINKING? Co-op sniping is for unrealistic games, and copies of this one!
Shade: HEY! I happened to like that game...
[Dark hops onto Mecha's back]
Dark: Shade, take out the Corpse Maker! I got Mecha!
[Mecha shakes Dark off]
MK: Nice try, but I don't fall for things like that-- *CLUNG!!!*
[Mecha stands still for a second before falling over]
[behind him is Cham holding a monkey wrench with a huge dent in it]
Cham: Now THAT'S how you use these things.
Shade: Whoo... thanks, man.
Dark: Yeah, he was about to kill us!
Cham: Enough talk. Shoot the freaking tank.
Shade: Right. Dark, you with me?
Dark: Sure.
[they get out random sniper rifles, and carefully ignore the monster while aiming for the tank]
Shade: Careful. 3....2....1......
[the tank explodes, sending the monster flying into the wall above them]
Cham: Crap.
Shade: RUN.
[they run, and the monster crashes into the ground they were just standing in]
[they also get to Chao, and give him some Medkits to get him going]
Chao: Uh... we just passed the core. Where are we going NOW?
Shade: Something's not right here. The resonator shouldn't go off in a room with an acid tank... that would corrupt the process!
Dark: So, where ARE we going, then?
Shade: The room NEXT to the core.
[they enter the room next to the core, and plant the resonator]
Shade: Cham, I'm gonna need you to set it off. As soon as it does, we gotta RUN. Run as fast as we can, to the nearest elevators.
Cham: Copy that!
[Chao sees some robots running around]
Chao: Shade, we got company.
Shade: Damn! Cham, keep working on it. We'll take these guys.
[wave after wave of robots pour in as Shade, Dark, and Chao shoot them down, but they just keep coming]
[Shade even runs out of ammo, and starts using a pistol]
Shade: This is crazy! What ELSE could happen in this brand-new land of not-in-GoW factoryness?
[the others run out of ammo]
Shade: Crap.
Cham: Resonator set!
Shade: Just in time, too. Okay, boys. Let's run like a bat outta--
Shade: ****!!!
[they sprint for the exit, but get swept up by the explosion]
[the explosion sends them flying outside, where they land on the ground]
Dark: Oof... my back...
Chao: Did we do it?
Shade: I.... I think so. That explosion wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, though...
Shade: Whoa. What's up?
Egg: We have some bad news, THAT'S what's up!
Shade: Bad news?
MS: I'm afraid it's true, Shade.
Shade: Metal?
Egg: Commander Metal? What are you doing in our transmission?
[Shade and metal explain the stuff]
Egg: Oh.
Shade: So.... the bad news?
Egg: Right. Uh, Commander Metal, since you seem so certain.... you explain it.
MS: My pleasure. I'm afraid that your little resonator was a dud.
Shade: lol wut
Egg: He means the resonator ****ed up.
MS: For lack of a better phrase, yes. It did not cover the entire factory.
Shade: It..... it didn't? Wait, refresh my memory. WHAT was it supposed to do?
Egg: Map the factory, so we know where to bomb it.
Shade: Can't we just ask Metal for the info?
MS: Hmm.... good idea, but I don't even KNOW the factory, myself. It's sorta like Rose Red; it builds new parts of itself every few days.
Shade: Great movie, but bad time for something to copy it. So, what do you propose we--
Egg: What was that?
Shade: Dark, put your flying robot guy away.
Dark: But.... Sam n' Max has barely gotten any screen time! He just got you out of jail, and that's all we saw of him!
Shade: *groan* ......wait.... what the crap?
Egg: What?
Shade: Sam n' Max is showing a huge map of the factory somehow...
Egg+MS: WHAT?!
MS: Dark, where did you get that robot from, again?
Dark: Shade's dad.
MS: Shawn? Hmm... but.... where is he?
Shade: Last I saw, he was in our Junker--.....
Egg: What?
[Shade is standing, eyes wide, as the Junker lies in front of them, upside-down, and on fire]
Shade: (quietly) Damn robots..... (normally) Uh, my dad.... is dead. Yeah.
Egg: Oh. Metal, where does he live?
Shade: Isn't it in the Dark Garden?
MS: Well, future you may not have told you this, but... actually, the other chao simply evacuated to Earth instead of dying in the Dark Garden, so...
Shade: So future him is somewhere here?
MS: Died of old age.
Shade: Oh.
MS: BUT, we know where his house is.
Shade: Sweet!
MS: Eggman, I'll send you the coordinates.
Egg: And.... what will they do when they get there?
MS: Hack Sam n' Max up to Shawn's computers. If he has a huge map of the factory, he probably has more information about it, too.
Egg: That's.... that's a good plan. All right, I've got the coordinates. Shade, I'm sending Redd Fox to pick you up and take you there.
Shade: Awesome!
[Redd Fox (Red) lands his helicopter and picks them up]

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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