ANGUISH: BLIND ALLEY
(DJay's Note: The following few chapters are not in the XBOX360 version of Gears of War. They're only in the PC version, WHICH I HAVE NEVER PLAYED. I'm working off this walkthrough of the PC version, so there may be some inaccuracies. I'll let you know once we get back into the 360 version.)
[cut to Delta Squad driving along in the city; they've lost the BOOM-ACK; no enemies in the immediate area]
[they also got more ammo]
[suddenly, they reach a drawbridge that is up]
Shade: Crap.
Dark: Hang on, there's some bridge controls here.
[Dark activates the controls]
[the bridge begins to move down; it jams]
Chao: Great. What do we do now?
[O CRAP HOLES break open; Instarobots crawl out]
Shade: Fight for our lives, that's what!
[they kill the Instarobots]
[they break in from the buildings]
All: WHOA!
Dark: Alright, robot freaks! *vrrrrr* Time to get chainsaw'd.
[Dark charges forward, then stops in fear as a Instarobot prepares to chainsaw HIM]
Dark: Yikes! Help!
[Cham shoots the robot, saving Dark]
Dark: Thanks...
[they finish off all the enemies]
Cham: Sir, what are your orders?
Shade: Uh... let's explore this section of town. Maybe we can find something. C'mon, through here.
[they explore some buildings and alleys]
[inside the buildings are a bunch of Instabilities, which are easily taken care of]
[eventually, in a building, they run into a Troika!]
Shade: Damn, we haven't seen these guys in a while. Cham, you and Chao flank left and take out the others. Dark and I'll take this one.
Chao: Sure thing.
Cham: Yes, sir!
Shade: So, Dark.... ready for this?
Dark: Ready.
[they run across the long hallway; the Troika shoots at them; they duck behind cover]
Dark: Shall I throw a grenade?
Shade: Be my guest.
[Dark tosses a grenade; it blows the Troika up]
Shade: Everyone, the Troika is down! Let's regroup and move on.
[they keep going]
[they enter a garden]
[AMBUSH!]
Shade: Delta Squad, let's take these guys out!
[budda budda budda]
[after a huge, yet boring gunfight, the Instability and the Instarobots were taken care of]
[they get back onto a street]
ANGUISH: ERRORS OF COMEDY
[RADIO!]
Shade: Yes, Control?
Egg: Delta, we've recieved word that the train is accellerating in speed, so it's nearly at the station. You'd better hurry!
Shade: Wilco. Also, Control? Do you have any idea how to get this big drawbridge back up?
Egg: Yes, there should be a power supply thing nearby.
Shade: Oh. Thanks. Delta out.
[RADIO OFF!]
Shade: Team, there's a power supply thing for the bridge nearby.
[CRASH! RAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRR!]
All: NO ****ING WAY!
[the BOOM-ACK caught up with them]
Cham: Sir, you'd better take cover. I'll distract it!
Shade: From what?
Cham: Sir, the power lines are RIGHT THERE! If the BOOM-ACK destroys them, the bridge will NEVER be fixed!
Shade: Oh. Distract it, then. Dark, Chao, c'mon!
Chao: I'll.... I'll help Cham distract it. You two hurry and reactivate the bridge!
Shade: Got it. Dark, let's go.
Dark: Yeah, let's.
[Shade and Dark find an underground passage; the BOOM-ACK's thundering footsteps are heard and felt above them]
[RADIO!!!]
Egg: Delta, we've recieved word that the Instability has boarded the train, and they're "eagerly" awaiting you.
Shade: Crap! We'd better hurry, then. Delta out!
[RADIO OFF!]
[Shade and Dark explore the city and slums, and they find a downed power line]
Shade: Crap....
Dark: Sam n' Max, fix that wire!
[Sam n' Max starts repairing the wire]
[they're ambushed!]
Dark: Shade, we need to defend Sam n' Max!
Shade: Got it!
[they defeat all the O CRAP HOLES and such]
[eventually, the BOOM-ACK reaches them]
Both: Holy crap!
Shade: Shoot its legs!
[they shoot its legs to slow it down]
Dark: Shade, don't bother shooting IT! Shoot the Tails Doll!
Shade: Great idea!
[they shoot the Tails Doll, and the Tails Doll falls off]
TD: RRRRAAGHHHHHHH!!!
Both: Yikes!
[the Tails Doll uses its mystical powers to pause time around them; only Shade, Dark, and the Doll can move]
Shade: What the?
TD: Help..... help me, mommy....... the bad man tore my eye out.... the bad man tore my arm off..... the bad man gave me three tails.... the bad man gave me scars...... the bad man sew my mouth shut.... the bad man will die.
[the Tails Doll adds a new chant, "The bad man tore both my eyes out...."]
[the Doll slowly approaches them]
Shade: Uh.... uh....
[Shade notices a big theater behind them]
Shade: In here!
[they run in there as the Doll slowly floats behind]
[there's a choice-- through the Main Hall, or up in the Theater Balconies]
[the Doll slowly follows them]
Shade: Dark, you take the balconies; I'll go through the Main Hall.
Dark: Affirmative!
[they split up]
[the Doll stops at the crossing]
[cut to Dark up in the balconies]
Dark: *pant* This... this is scary. I don't like this.
[the lights go out]
Dark: Eep!
[he sees a red glow behind him]
Dark: ....Shade?
[he turns around, slowly]
[the red glow is a small, red orb that seems to be floating in mid-air]
Dark: ....very...funny.... Shade......
[the lights flicker on for a second, revealing the Tails Doll]
Dark: Yelp!
[cut to Shade in the Main Hall]
Shade: Well, this is kinda boring. Still, it's also awesome!
[the lights turn off]
Shade: What the?
[he keeps walking, slowly, for a little bit]
Shade: Mister Tails Doll.... I'm right here for you.
[Dark screams nearby]
Shade: *gasp* Dark!
[Shade looks around frantically]
[he sees a doorway leading to the stage]
[he enters the stage, and looks up to the balconies]
[he sees Dark backing up to a ledge, the Tails Doll slowly approaching him]
Shade: HEY! TAILS DOLL-FACE! DOWN HERE!
[the Tails Doll doesn't even seem to want to care; it still approaches Dark]
Shade: Crap.
[Shade notices a valve nearby]
Shade: I don't care WHAT this does, but I'm turning it.
[he turns it, and a huge piece of backstage scenery flies across the theater, and hits the balcony]
[it provides a ramp for Dark to slide down to the stage]
Shade: Dark! Slide down the ramp!
Dark: Gladly!
[Dark slides down, and runs behind Shade]
[the Doll finally notices Shade]
TD: ....the bad man....... is.... YOU.
Shade: Urk!
TD: ....the bad man........ will........... DIE.
Shade: Tails Doll... calm down. Everything's gonna be all right. I'm not the bad man. The bad man is Mecha Knuckles. Okay?
TD: ....the bad man....... is.... YOU!
Shade: But--
TD: YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!
["YOU" is screamed as a very, VERY loud shriek, that breaks windows, and sends Shade and Dark flying against the wall]
Dark: Shade, I don't think you should try talking to him anymore!
Shade: Good idea. *vrrrrrr* Time for my chainsaw to do the talking FOR me.
[Shade charges forward, chainsaw gun in tow, and rips the Tails Doll to shreds]
Dark: You did it!
Shade: Yeah..... *pant* ....now... let's get outta here. This place gives me the creeps.
[as they leave, the remains of the Tails Doll get up]
[all that's left is just part of its head, half of its torso, and a whole arm]
TD: ....the bad man....... chainsawed me. He.......... *sob* .....he killed me.
[the very, very torn-apart Tails Doll floats forward very slowly]
[as Shade and Dark leave the theater, they run into Cham and Chao]
[apparently, time is back to normal]
Cham: Hey, what the crap HAPPENED in there?
Chao: Yeah, you look like you just saw a ghost.
Dark: We ran into--
Shade: Let's not talk about it.
ANGUISH: WINDOW SOBBING
[it turns out Chao and Cham were just their imagination, as they float away like dust]
[they hear some trash cans behind them get knocked over]
Both: Wha?
[Shade and Dark turn around, and see the torn-apart Tails Doll, hovering in the doorway]
Both: AAAAAHHHH!!!
TD: ....Shade, why did you chainsaw me into pieces? You know you cannot kill me.
Shade: Tails Doll... are you a part of my imagination, too? Are you a mirage?
TD: No, I assure you, you cannot even comprehend what is going on. We will win this war. It is only a matter of time.
Shade: Wait. I heard that voice... when "Metal" killed future me.
TD: Future you? Metal? Are you sure they weren't mirages, too?
Dark: Shade, what's going on?
Shade: I don't know. But, I feel that this guy's behind most of this.
TD: Oh, no. I am not. I am merely.... a pawn, if you will. A pawn... in this game of Chess. And you are the guard of the King.
Shade: Huh?
TD: Dark, you are the guard of the guard of the king.
Dark: Cool, am I one of those horse-riding guys?
TD: ....sure, why not?
Shade: Dark, stay on focus. Don't get pulled into his freaky ways.
TD: The Instability.... they are the team you are fighting. The robots are their army.
Shade: What is going ON?
TD: In this game of Chess.... it's the Instability versus space. We want... your space.
Shade: What are you TALKING about!? You're freaking me out!
TD: Like I said... you are the guard of the king of the "space" side of Chess.
Shade: So... I'm your enemy?
TD: Correct. And, when we kill Dark, we can kill YOU. When we kill YOU.... we can kill the king.
Shade: The.... king?
TD: The king.
Shade: Who is the king?
TD: .....
Shade: WHO IS THE KING?!
TD: Help..... help me, mommy....... the bad man tore both my eyes out.... the bad man tore my arm off..... the bad man gave me three tails.... the bad man gave me scars...... the bad man sew my mouth shut.... the bad man will die.
[the Tails Doll resumes its slow move]
Shade: Dark, any ideas?
Dark: .....only one.
[cut to Shade and Dark out in the streets, the Tails Doll following them]
Shade: TAILS DOLL!
TD: Ruh?
Shade: Unpause time, and we will stay completely still for you to kill us.
TD: ......fine!
[the Tails Doll unpauses time, and starts laughing maniacally]
[Shade and Dark wave "goodbye"]
[suddenly...]
[STOMP!]
[the BOOM-ACK steps on the Tails Doll's remains]
Shade: Now let's run.
Dark: Got it.
[they run for it]
[RADIO!]
Shade: Chao, Cham, are you two okay?
Chao: Yep.
Cham: I'm fine.
Shade: Where are you?
Chao: We're in a garage. We can see you.... hurry and get here before that BOOM-ACK crushes you!
Shade: Roger that.
[RADIO OFF!]
[CRASH!]
[there's a Seeder there]
Dark: What the?
Shade: Haven't seen those in a while. It would explain why Control hasn't called yet.
Dark: Yes, it would.
Shade: Time to Hammer of Dawn of War it.
Dark: The satellites SERIOUSLY aren't overhead, Shade.
Shade: Oh. Well, how will we destroy it?
[Dark looks around, and sees a Troika and a propane tank]
Dark: Shoot that propane tank with that Troika!
Shade: Of course!
[BOOM! RAAAAWWR!]
[the Seeder dies in the explosion]
[RADIO!!!]
Shade: Control?
Egg: ........hello?
Shade: Yay, it works! Control, is the bridge up yet?
Egg: Negative, Delta.
Shade: Oh. Okay, Delta out.
[RADIO OFF!]
[Shade and Dark regroup with Chao and Cham; they keep moving]
ANGUISH: POWERS THAT THERE MAY BE
[as they explore the city some more, they talk a bit more]
Shade: So..... who here's seen "This is Spinal Tap?"
Dark: I have! Why else do you think I became a rock star in the first place?
Chao: I thought your rocker personality was loosely based off Ozzy Osbourne, and Ringo.
Dark: Well, yes, but also Spinal Tap heavily influenced me, as well.
Cham: I haven't seen This is Spinal Tap.
Shade: You should. It's hilarious.
Chao: Wait. I thought they were a BAND, not a MOVIE!
Shade: They ARE a band, but there's a movie made about them. I think it's a mock-u-mentary.
Dark: Actually, Spinal Tap used to not exist. But after "This is Spinal Tap," which was a mock/rock-u-mentary about a fictional rock band, they have released several songs under the name "Spinal Tap." One of their songs, "Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight" is in Guitar Hero 2 as an encore song.
Chao: Hm. I see.
Shade: Okay, what about the music video for The Kill, by 30 Seconds to Mars?
Dark: I have yet to see that one.
Chao: I think I saw it.
Cham: Doesn't ring a bell.
Shade: It's really weird. The song is in Rock Band, and soon to be in Guitar Hero 4, but the music video is messed UP.
Chao: Isn't that the one where the bear..... does.... sexual things... with that guy?
Shade: The bear blows the guy, yes.
Dark: Ooh, I wanna see that!
Shade: You don't actually SEE it. It's only implyed, because you see a bear at the foot of a bed, then you see this guy sit up next to it, on the bed. But, it's a good video. I think it might be based on The Shining, possibly. It certainly REMINDED me of it.
Chao: Yeah, all the band members are in that hotel, and they see mirror images of each other, and tons of freaky things happen.
Cham: Huh. Sounds neat.
Shade: What about "Edward Scissorhands?"
Dark: I think EVERYBODY'S seen that one.
Chao: I LOVE that movie!
Cham: That's the Tim Burton film where that guy has scissors for hands, right?
Shade: Yeah.
Cham: I liked it.
Shade: Okay..... how about "Misery?"
Dark: Read the book, saw the movie. Both are good.
Chao: Stephen King's so gory.
Cham: Misery.... Misery..... I.... think I've seen it.
Shade: "1408?"
Dark: It's cool. I like things about scary hotels.
Chao: I preferred Silent Hill 4.
Shade: Dude, that one was awesome.
Cham: Yeah. Especially when that bunny is always facing away from you... and then randomly looks at you.
Shade: *shudder* That part always freaks me out.
[they reach a power supply thing]
Shade: We found it!
[Shade activates it]
[RADIO!]
Shade: This is Delta. We've activated the bridge.
Egg: Good job, Delta! Now you can get to your Junker, and get to the train station!
Shade: Wilco. Moving to the Junker now.
[RADIO OFF!]
ANGUISH: TITANIC PROPORTIONS
[between them and the Junker is a huge parking lot]
Shade: C'mon, let's go!
[CRASH!]
[ROOOOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!]
All: ****!
[the BOOM-ACK is heading towards the power lines]
Cham: If it breaks those, our whole mission was a waste of time!
Shade: Time to finish the BOOM-ACK off.
[they begin shooting it]
[it roars, and stomps the ground, causing an earthquake]
Dark: Whoa, this guy is BIG!
Shade: Shut up and shoot it!
[while they shoot it, Shade notices an extremely messed-up Tails Doll riding on top of it, controlling it]
Shade: Dark....... look!
Dark: Huh? *notices* ......NO WAY. I thought we really killed it!
Shade: *sigh* The Tails Doll can NEVER die, Dark. All we can do now is just.... shoot it.
[Shade gets an idea]
Shade: Everyone, shoot the BOOM-ACK's legs!
Chao: Why?
Shade: Just do it!
[they shoot its legs; it falls over; the Tails Doll falls off]
Cham: That doll!?
Chao: It's the Tails Doll!
Shade: Yeah, now kill it! KILL IT!
[they all start shooting the Doll, throwing grenades at it, and chainsawing it]
[eventually, the Doll just.... dies; the Doll stops floating]
[the BOOM-ACK, without a leader, goes in a rampage]
Shade: Crap! I didn't think about this!
Dark: I've got an idea.
[Dark jumps onto the BOOM-ACK, and rides it off into the horizon]
[pause]
[KA-BOOM!]
[Dark is seen in the sky, falling down to the parking lot, action movie-style]
Dark: It's gone.
Chao: How'd you kill it?
Dark: Easy. I showed it the PS3.
Cham: It blew up out of sheer awesomeness?
Dark: NO! What are you, STUPID? It lost the will to live after seeing such crap, so it self-destructed!
Shade: .....you used TNT, didn't you?
Dark: I used TNT.
Shade: Anyway, let's move on.
[they get back into the Junker, and drive to the train station]
ANGUISH: PONY EXPRESS
(DJay's Note: We're back into the 360 version here.)
[they jump out of the Junker, and dash into a gunfight]
[tons of Instarobots were waiting for them]
Shade: According to Control, the train isn't here yet, but when it gets here, it's not gonna stop for us.
Chao: So how'll we get on?
Shade: We jump on, epicly.
[they get behind parked cars, broken concrete, and parked trains, shooting at the robots]
[once all the enemies are dead, a new O CRAP HOLE opens]
[they take care of it]
Shade: Here comes the train.... get ready....
[as the train passes, Shade and Dark hop on]
[but, not Chao and Cham; more Instarobots fight them]
Chao: Don't worry, Shade! We'll catch up!
ANGUISH: TRAIN DECIMATION
[the train is a long one, which looks slightly like a freight train-- no roof, no walls, just the floor]
[there are cabins ahead]
[Shade and Dark are on the car at the VERY back]
[the train is speeding along what seems like a huge, barren desert, at sunset]
Shade: So.... Dark.... you ready to start the final mission?
Dark: I'm ready.
Shade: No backup. I don't think Chao and Cham will catch up with us for a while.
Dark: I'm..... I'm ready.
Shade: The Instability have taken over this train, you know.
Dark: I SAID I'M READY!!
Shade: Okay! Let's go.
[they begin moving along the train cars, and the Instarobots appear further ahead, hiding behind cover]
Shade: Let's get this over with.
[they duck behind cover, and do some blind firing at the enemies]
[Dark tosses a grenade or two, and shoots]
[once everything is clear, they move ahead]
[they reach the back door to the first cabin]
Shade: Damn. It's locked.
Dark: Sam n' Max, rip that door!
[Sam n' Max appears, and starts unlocking it]
?: SHAAAAADE! DAAAAAAAARK!
[Shade and Dark turn around and scream]
[they see a red blur dashing along the desert]
[it jumps high and lands on the last train car]
[WHOOOO'S THAT POKEMON?]
[IIIIIT'S MECHA KNUCKLES!]
[except, Mecha has no arms]
MK: Just.... because I..... HAVE.... NO..... arms..... DOESN'T mean I can't..... kiLL... YoU!
Shade: But.... but.... we watched you shut down!
MK: I'm so unstable. So.... IN...stable. I can.... be impulsive if I..... WanT tO.
[Mecha charges forward, and smacks into the cabin]
MK: So.... ready to die?
Shade: Can't we just talk first?
MK: Sure thing, pal! Howzabout we talk about your DEATH?
Shade: As long as we just... talk.
MK: Awwww.... but what's the point in JUST talking when ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS?
[Shade gestures for Dark to slowly follow him; they sneak past him]
MK: I KnOW whEre you ARE...
[Mecha turns around, and kicks Dark]
Dark: Oof!
Shade: Dark!
MK: Face it, pally. There's no beating me. Muh huh huh huh....
[Shade grabs Dark, and enters the cabin that Sam n' Max just opened]
MK: Hey, I can still come in there! You can't do anything to me!
[Shade presses a button inside the cabin, and the cars outside it detatch and stop]
MK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh..............!
[Dark throws an extra grenade, just to "help the situation"]
Shade: Let's get back to moving.
[they move up the train, inside the cabins, shooting Instability and Instarobots]
Dark: Awfully long train, isn't it?
Shade: It's a supply train, Dark. It has to have enough food for the Factory people.
[they see some flying Instability outside the windows]
Dark: Shade, what are those things?
Shade: I think they're flying Instability, Dark. What did you THINK they were?
Dark: I'm scared, though!
Shade: Relax! They're no threat to us!
[the flying creatures, which we'll call Grinning Reapers, eerily fly alongside the train, doing nothing but following Shade and Dark]
[RADIO!]
Egg: Shade, you've got some Grinning Reapers headed your way. They have Instarobots piloting them!
Shade: Uh-oh, that doesn't sound too good.
Egg: You have some Troikas on the train you can use to kill them.
Shade: Really? Cool! Wilco, Delta out!
[RADIO OFF!]
Shade: Dark, we're gonna get to use some Troikas.
Dark: Yay!
[they climb some ladders to the roof of the train, and get on some Troikas]
[they take out the Grinning Reapers]
[rumble]
[RADIO!]
Shade: Control, what was that?
Egg: It seems that some Instability in the front of the train are starting to detatch your car from the train.
Shade: WHAT?!
Egg: You have 45 seconds.
[RADIO OFF!]
Shade: Dark, c'mon! We have 45 seconds to get to the front of the train!
Dark: Crap-a-da-doo-dah!
[they jump back into the train as it goes into a tunnel and accellerates, going much faster]
[they can feel the car rumbling as it begins to detatch]
Shade: Hurry!
Dark: Hurrying!
[they run through the cabins and such until the rumbling stops]
[RADIO!]
Shade: Control, has the detatchment stopped?
Egg: Negative. It's now in the process of detatching.
Shade: CRAP!
[RADIO OFF!]
[they reach a locked door]
Dark: Sam n' Max, rip that door!
[Sam n' Max begins opening the door]
[the lights go off]
Shade: HURRY, SAM N' MAX!
[some Instability break into the train through the vents]
Shade: Crap! *budda budda* Take 'em out!
[the Instability get very close to them before Sam n' Max opens the door]
[they dive in]
[the Instability grab Sam n' Max, and tear it apart]
Dark: NOOOOOOO!!!
Shade: Dark, get a hold of yourself! *slap* Now those things are coming after US!
[the cars detatch; Shade and Dark are in the front car, so they aren't affected]
Shade: .....
Dark: .....
Shade: Never mind, then.
ANGUISH: PALE AND HOARSE
[they are in a small cabin; outside the door in front of them is a large, open train car; the engine is at the front]
Shade: We're here. There's the engine. We gotta place these explosives that I got from Sam n' Max on the engine.
Dark: Oooh... this sounds hard.
Shade: You just let me do the work. But, are you ready to finish what we started?
Dark: ................I'm ready.
[they walk out into the open car]
[nightfall comes; the KYLL surround the car]
[luckily, Shade and Dark are by a bit of cover with lamps on it]
[the train is speeding like crazy now]
Dark: Shade, what's that?
Shade: Huh?
[at the other end of the car is a very scary-looking figure]
[it is crouching]
[it gets up, showing spikes on its head, a cape, elf-like shoes, and sharp hands coming out of what look like robotic sleeves]
Shade: Metal?
[the figure points to the sky, and a bolt of lightning strikes, showing for a split second....]
[Neo Metal Sonic, covered in blood, with one arm, one eye, and three tails]
Both: CRAP!!!
[at all times, his one red eye glows ominously in the darkness]
Shade: Metal, don't tell me they got you, too!
MS: Help..... help me, mommy....... the bad man tore my eye out.... the bad man tore my arm off..... the bad man gave me three tails.... the bad man gave me scars...... the bad man sew my mouth shut.... the bad man will die.
[Metal raises his hand to the sky, and thousands of KYLL surround him]
[Metal slowly starts walking towards them]
Dark: Shade..... I'm REALLY scared now.
Shade: S...so am I.
Dark: I mean, we're up against ****ing METAL SONIC, Instabilitized, and THE KYLL! And not the awesome one by 30 Seconds to Mars, I mean the BAD ones!
Shade: I KNOW, ALRIGHT!? I'm....*sniff*... I don't know what to do!
Dark: But..... *sniff* you.... you..... ALWAYS..... know what to do...
Shade: *sob* Not this time..... this time..... I think we're really done for. I really..... really.... think so...
[Metal is still slowly getting closer]
[the camera dramatically shows Shade and Dark, crying]
[suddenly, a light shines on Metal; the KYLL fly away]
[Shade and Dark look up, and see Redd Fox's helicopter shining a spotlight on the train; Chao and Cham are riding in it with Troikas]
Chao: SHADE!
Shade: Couldn't you guys have come any sooner?!
Chao: WE TOOK THE WRONG TURN AT ALBUQUERQUE!
Shade: Heh..... *laughter* Now, could you guys give us a hand?!
Cham: Sure thing. *budda budda budda* EAT LEAD, METAL SCUM!
Dark: Shade, the KYLL are no longer protecting him! Let's shoot him!
Shade: Huh? Oh, right.
[they shoot at Metal]
[the KYLL begin attacking Redd Fox's helicopter, but he flies away]
[with no light over Metal, the KYLL return to him]
Shade: Crap.
Dark: Back to square one. What will we do?
Shade: Just stay low.
[pause; they can hear Metal slowly getting closer]
Chao: FIRE!
[they shine the light over Metal again; the KYLL fly away]
Shade: SHOOT!
[Shade and Dark shoot at Metal]
[the cycle repeats, but this time, Redd Fox is completely killed by the KYLL; Chao and Cham hop onto the train before the helicopter crashes]
Shade: Whoa, TIME OUT! This.... this wasn't supposed to happen!
Dark: I guess we'll have to just.... wait here until we die.
MS: .......RAAAGH!
Shade: Wha?
[Shade peeks over the cover, and sees Metal holding his head]
Shade: Metal, are you okay?
MS: Shade..... SHOOT ME.... now..... I've sent... the KYLL...... away...... SHOOT ME!
Shade: But.....
Cham: NOW, SHADE!
[they fire at Metal; right before the KYLL return, Metal falls off the train, and blows up]
All: *cheer*
Dark: WE DID IT!
Cham: Not quite.
Shade: Cham's right. I've still got to plant the explosives, then we gotta bail somehow.
Chao: But.... how? Redd Fox is down!
?: So, you're just..... gonna.... have to DIE..... with us!
Shade: No way.
Dark: Can't be.
Chao: Impossible.
Cham: But it IS....
[they turn around, and see, in the doorway....]
[an extremely destroyed Mecha Knuckles]
Shade: Easy there, Mecha.... we didn't mean to kill you.
MK: Kill me? Hahahahahaha! You can't kill ME! I... I am the king of our side of the Chess board!
Shade: Wha...... say WHAAAAAAAAAAT!?
MK: Tails Doll never told you? Ah, you can't get that moron to do ANYTHING right.
Chao: So.... you're.... the LEADER of the Instability?
MK: Essentially. Sure, I'm not their creator; I'm not the first Instability; I'm certainly not the actual KING.... but, I'm the strongest, scariest, deadliest, most persistant, and most important!
Dark: Are you gonna tell us all about the Instability, or something?
MK: Eh, why bother? You're gonna die soon, anyway. What's the point of LEARNING when you're seconds from death? I CAN tell you something to compare us to, though. The Flood. Except.... we're cooler, and from a better series.
Shade: You weren't from a game series!
MK: No, we're not, but we're from DCA. That's a SERIES. Doesn't matter. Time for me to do my job.
[Mecha Knuckles charges forward; the chao dive to the side]
[Mecha stops before hits the engine]
MK: Wait. Why am I still fighting at an unfair disadvantage? There are FOUR of you, each fully intact, and only ONE of me, with most of my limbs missing.
Chao: Can you at least tell us why your limbs are missing?
MK: It's got something to do with our bodies being unstable, and feeding off of space and time, and stuff.
Chao: Oh.
[Mecha strains, and manages to grow some really freaky-looking limbs (the ones he was missing)]
MK: That's better. Oh, and now I can see, too! Neat! ....oh, THERE you are. Time for the last horses to finally cross the DEATH line.
[Mecha grabs Cham, and throws him off the train]
Cham: HELP!
[Mecha chases after Chao; Shade sneaks to the engine, and plants the explosives]
[Shade then begins shooting Mecha]
MK: Heh.... I thought I told you that shooting is useless.
Shade: Yes, but.... I can still try.
MK: Oh, no you can't!
[Mecha picks Shade up, and prepares to punch him to death, when Dark sticks a grenade to Mecha]
MK: What the?
Dark: That's for all you've done to us, you meanie!
MK: AIEEE!!! A GRENADE! A GRENADE!
[Mecha runs around, knocks Chao and Dark off the train, drops Shade, and dives off the train, himself]
[so, Shade's the only one still on the train]
Shade: .......I don't like where this is going.
[Shade looks into the distance, and sees a huge bridge going over a lake of plasma]
[the plasma leads to the Factory; the bridge is broken; that's how the train gets to the Factory]
Shade: ....CRAP. CRAP. CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! HELP ME! SOMEBODY! NO! AAAHHH!!! I DON'T WANNA DIE!
[Shade runs in circles before seeing a spotlight shine on him]
Shade: Wha?
Chao: SHADE! GRAB MY HAND!
Shade: ...huh?
[Shade sees a helicopter, piloted by Shadow Bonic, and Chao is there, extending his hand]
Chao: GRAB MY HAND!
Shade: I.... I can't! I won't be able to make it!
Chao: YES, YOU WILL!
Dark: C'MON, SHADE!
Shade: Dark?
Cham: SHADOW BONIC'S AWESOME PILOTING SKILLS SAVED OUR BUTTS OUT THERE, MAN!
Dark: AND NOW HE'S GONNA SAVE YOURS!
Shade: ....I... I can't make that jump.
Egg: Yes, you can.
Shade: Eggman?
[Eggman is there, arms crossed]
Egg: Come on, Shade. You can do it. This is your last task.
Shade: ........okay.
[Shade gets a running start, leaps, and falls]
Shade: NOOOO!!!
[a hand grabs him-- Eggman's]
Egg: You're.... not...... gonna DIE, Shade!
[Eggman pulls Shade up; the others help]
Shade: Wow..... thanks, guys..... *pant* you..... you really helped me out there.
Chao: Well, we weren't going to just let you DIE.
Dark: Shh! The movie's starting!
Shade: Movie?
[Dark points to the train; Shade turns around and sees the train fall into the plasma]
Egg: Here it comes....
[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!]
[the camera pans out, showing the helicopter flying away as a huge explosion comes out of the plasma lake]
[Metal's voice-over is heard speaking]
MS: *sigh* The gears of war keep spinning.... and the roses of gunfire fuel it. The Factory was destroyed that day, along with all the Instabilities. Mecha blew up, thanks to the heroic efforts of Dark. Delta Squad managed to prevent the Instability from completely possessing my body. Did I die? Of course not. A mere explosion cannot kill me! *cough cough* But, it certainly hurt. The Tails Doll was killed, thanks to the Delta Squad. In the end, the Instability's invasion was averted.... and we owe it all to you, Shade. ...and Dark. And Cham. And Chao. Of course, those already possessed by the fourth-dimension menace... are gone forever. But, you are not forgotten. However...... (getting more and more sinister) perhaps the Factory was destroyed..... but not eradicated? Perhaps the Instability was defeated.... but not finished off? Perhaps Shade won the battle..... but not the war? Perhaps Mecha Knuckles fell off the train.... but not out of life? Perhaps we actually....... WON? After all, we WILL win this war. It is only a matter of time. Now that Shade is the last of Delta Squad that's truly..... ALIVE...... muahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA!!! No one can save him NOW! Mwah-hah! MWAH-HAH!MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!
[the screen fades to black as Dark, Chao, Cham, Eggman, and Shadow Bonic laugh monotonously, while Metal laughs maniacally]
Shade: Are you guys alright? I think you've gotten tons of scars, or something.
Dark: Not to worry, Shade. Not...... to...... WORRY.
Shade: ......I don't like where this is going.
[a chainsaw engine is heard revving; the Gears n' Roses logo appears on-screen]
[as the credits roll, "Sweet Child o' Mine" plays, but with Rubber Goose, Dark's band, playing it! And playing a little differently, too.]
[oh, and Cham is the singer]
(DJay's Note: This is a TERRIBLE song. I'm not good at lyrics.)
"Cham's Description of an Instability"
Rubber Goose, based on "Sweet Child o' Mine" by Guns n' Roses
CHAM:
She's got a smile that, sewn shut, it seems,
Reminds me of repressed memories...
Where everything
Was as red as their blood-red skulls. (skulls, skulls, skulls)
Now and then when I see her face...
She takes me away to that horrible place,
And if I'd stare too long,
My face, too, would be very dull. (dull, dull, dull)
Oh, Oh, Oh,
Gears n' Roses!
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
As dead as Moses!
She's got eyes of the blackest holes...
As if they thought of death.
I hate to look into those eyes;
I always feel like I'm on meth.
Her hair reminds me of a warm, rocky place,
Which, as a child, I'd fear.
And pray for the Hero Chaos,
And the Garden,
To quietly take me from.
Oh, Oh, Oh,
Gears n' Roses!
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
As dead as Moses!
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
Gears n' Roses!
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
As dead as Moses!
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
Gears n' Roses!
Oh,
As dead as Moses!
[Guitar Solo]
Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Oh, Oh,
Where do we go?
Oh,
Where CAN we go now?
Where do we go?
Oh, (Shade, help)
Where do we go now?
Oh,
Where do we go now?
Oh,
Where do we go?
Oh,
Where do we go now?
Oh,
Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Oh,
Where do we go now?
No, No, No, No, No, No
Shade, help,
Shade, help me, please.
(DJay's Note: The following few chapters are not in the XBOX360 version of Gears of War. They're only in the PC version, WHICH I HAVE NEVER PLAYED. I'm working off this walkthrough of the PC version, so there may be some inaccuracies. I'll let you know once we get back into the 360 version.)
[cut to Delta Squad driving along in the city; they've lost the BOOM-ACK; no enemies in the immediate area]
[they also got more ammo]
[suddenly, they reach a drawbridge that is up]
Shade: Crap.
Dark: Hang on, there's some bridge controls here.
[Dark activates the controls]
[the bridge begins to move down; it jams]
Chao: Great. What do we do now?
[O CRAP HOLES break open; Instarobots crawl out]
Shade: Fight for our lives, that's what!
[they kill the Instarobots]
[they break in from the buildings]
All: WHOA!
Dark: Alright, robot freaks! *vrrrrr* Time to get chainsaw'd.
[Dark charges forward, then stops in fear as a Instarobot prepares to chainsaw HIM]
Dark: Yikes! Help!
[Cham shoots the robot, saving Dark]
Dark: Thanks...
[they finish off all the enemies]
Cham: Sir, what are your orders?
Shade: Uh... let's explore this section of town. Maybe we can find something. C'mon, through here.
[they explore some buildings and alleys]
[inside the buildings are a bunch of Instabilities, which are easily taken care of]
[eventually, in a building, they run into a Troika!]
Shade: Damn, we haven't seen these guys in a while. Cham, you and Chao flank left and take out the others. Dark and I'll take this one.
Chao: Sure thing.
Cham: Yes, sir!
Shade: So, Dark.... ready for this?
Dark: Ready.
[they run across the long hallway; the Troika shoots at them; they duck behind cover]
Dark: Shall I throw a grenade?
Shade: Be my guest.
[Dark tosses a grenade; it blows the Troika up]
Shade: Everyone, the Troika is down! Let's regroup and move on.
[they keep going]
[they enter a garden]
[AMBUSH!]
Shade: Delta Squad, let's take these guys out!
[budda budda budda]
[after a huge, yet boring gunfight, the Instability and the Instarobots were taken care of]
[they get back onto a street]
ANGUISH: ERRORS OF COMEDY
[RADIO!]
Shade: Yes, Control?
Egg: Delta, we've recieved word that the train is accellerating in speed, so it's nearly at the station. You'd better hurry!
Shade: Wilco. Also, Control? Do you have any idea how to get this big drawbridge back up?
Egg: Yes, there should be a power supply thing nearby.
Shade: Oh. Thanks. Delta out.
[RADIO OFF!]
Shade: Team, there's a power supply thing for the bridge nearby.
[CRASH! RAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRR!]
All: NO ****ING WAY!
[the BOOM-ACK caught up with them]
Cham: Sir, you'd better take cover. I'll distract it!
Shade: From what?
Cham: Sir, the power lines are RIGHT THERE! If the BOOM-ACK destroys them, the bridge will NEVER be fixed!
Shade: Oh. Distract it, then. Dark, Chao, c'mon!
Chao: I'll.... I'll help Cham distract it. You two hurry and reactivate the bridge!
Shade: Got it. Dark, let's go.
Dark: Yeah, let's.
[Shade and Dark find an underground passage; the BOOM-ACK's thundering footsteps are heard and felt above them]
[RADIO!!!]
Egg: Delta, we've recieved word that the Instability has boarded the train, and they're "eagerly" awaiting you.
Shade: Crap! We'd better hurry, then. Delta out!
[RADIO OFF!]
[Shade and Dark explore the city and slums, and they find a downed power line]
Shade: Crap....
Dark: Sam n' Max, fix that wire!
[Sam n' Max starts repairing the wire]
[they're ambushed!]
Dark: Shade, we need to defend Sam n' Max!
Shade: Got it!
[they defeat all the O CRAP HOLES and such]
[eventually, the BOOM-ACK reaches them]
Both: Holy crap!
Shade: Shoot its legs!
[they shoot its legs to slow it down]
Dark: Shade, don't bother shooting IT! Shoot the Tails Doll!
Shade: Great idea!
[they shoot the Tails Doll, and the Tails Doll falls off]
TD: RRRRAAGHHHHHHH!!!
Both: Yikes!
[the Tails Doll uses its mystical powers to pause time around them; only Shade, Dark, and the Doll can move]
Shade: What the?
TD: Help..... help me, mommy....... the bad man tore my eye out.... the bad man tore my arm off..... the bad man gave me three tails.... the bad man gave me scars...... the bad man sew my mouth shut.... the bad man will die.
[the Tails Doll adds a new chant, "The bad man tore both my eyes out...."]
[the Doll slowly approaches them]
Shade: Uh.... uh....
[Shade notices a big theater behind them]
Shade: In here!
[they run in there as the Doll slowly floats behind]
[there's a choice-- through the Main Hall, or up in the Theater Balconies]
[the Doll slowly follows them]
Shade: Dark, you take the balconies; I'll go through the Main Hall.
Dark: Affirmative!
[they split up]
[the Doll stops at the crossing]
[cut to Dark up in the balconies]
Dark: *pant* This... this is scary. I don't like this.
[the lights go out]
Dark: Eep!
[he sees a red glow behind him]
Dark: ....Shade?
[he turns around, slowly]
[the red glow is a small, red orb that seems to be floating in mid-air]
Dark: ....very...funny.... Shade......
[the lights flicker on for a second, revealing the Tails Doll]
Dark: Yelp!
[cut to Shade in the Main Hall]
Shade: Well, this is kinda boring. Still, it's also awesome!
[the lights turn off]
Shade: What the?
[he keeps walking, slowly, for a little bit]
Shade: Mister Tails Doll.... I'm right here for you.
[Dark screams nearby]
Shade: *gasp* Dark!
[Shade looks around frantically]
[he sees a doorway leading to the stage]
[he enters the stage, and looks up to the balconies]
[he sees Dark backing up to a ledge, the Tails Doll slowly approaching him]
Shade: HEY! TAILS DOLL-FACE! DOWN HERE!
[the Tails Doll doesn't even seem to want to care; it still approaches Dark]
Shade: Crap.
[Shade notices a valve nearby]
Shade: I don't care WHAT this does, but I'm turning it.
[he turns it, and a huge piece of backstage scenery flies across the theater, and hits the balcony]
[it provides a ramp for Dark to slide down to the stage]
Shade: Dark! Slide down the ramp!
Dark: Gladly!
[Dark slides down, and runs behind Shade]
[the Doll finally notices Shade]
TD: ....the bad man....... is.... YOU.
Shade: Urk!
TD: ....the bad man........ will........... DIE.
Shade: Tails Doll... calm down. Everything's gonna be all right. I'm not the bad man. The bad man is Mecha Knuckles. Okay?
TD: ....the bad man....... is.... YOU!
Shade: But--
TD: YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!
["YOU" is screamed as a very, VERY loud shriek, that breaks windows, and sends Shade and Dark flying against the wall]
Dark: Shade, I don't think you should try talking to him anymore!
Shade: Good idea. *vrrrrrr* Time for my chainsaw to do the talking FOR me.
[Shade charges forward, chainsaw gun in tow, and rips the Tails Doll to shreds]
Dark: You did it!
Shade: Yeah..... *pant* ....now... let's get outta here. This place gives me the creeps.
[as they leave, the remains of the Tails Doll get up]
[all that's left is just part of its head, half of its torso, and a whole arm]
TD: ....the bad man....... chainsawed me. He.......... *sob* .....he killed me.
[the very, very torn-apart Tails Doll floats forward very slowly]
[as Shade and Dark leave the theater, they run into Cham and Chao]
[apparently, time is back to normal]
Cham: Hey, what the crap HAPPENED in there?
Chao: Yeah, you look like you just saw a ghost.
Dark: We ran into--
Shade: Let's not talk about it.
ANGUISH: WINDOW SOBBING
[it turns out Chao and Cham were just their imagination, as they float away like dust]
[they hear some trash cans behind them get knocked over]
Both: Wha?
[Shade and Dark turn around, and see the torn-apart Tails Doll, hovering in the doorway]
Both: AAAAAHHHH!!!
TD: ....Shade, why did you chainsaw me into pieces? You know you cannot kill me.
Shade: Tails Doll... are you a part of my imagination, too? Are you a mirage?
TD: No, I assure you, you cannot even comprehend what is going on. We will win this war. It is only a matter of time.
Shade: Wait. I heard that voice... when "Metal" killed future me.
TD: Future you? Metal? Are you sure they weren't mirages, too?
Dark: Shade, what's going on?
Shade: I don't know. But, I feel that this guy's behind most of this.
TD: Oh, no. I am not. I am merely.... a pawn, if you will. A pawn... in this game of Chess. And you are the guard of the King.
Shade: Huh?
TD: Dark, you are the guard of the guard of the king.
Dark: Cool, am I one of those horse-riding guys?
TD: ....sure, why not?
Shade: Dark, stay on focus. Don't get pulled into his freaky ways.
TD: The Instability.... they are the team you are fighting. The robots are their army.
Shade: What is going ON?
TD: In this game of Chess.... it's the Instability versus space. We want... your space.
Shade: What are you TALKING about!? You're freaking me out!
TD: Like I said... you are the guard of the king of the "space" side of Chess.
Shade: So... I'm your enemy?
TD: Correct. And, when we kill Dark, we can kill YOU. When we kill YOU.... we can kill the king.
Shade: The.... king?
TD: The king.
Shade: Who is the king?
TD: .....
Shade: WHO IS THE KING?!
TD: Help..... help me, mommy....... the bad man tore both my eyes out.... the bad man tore my arm off..... the bad man gave me three tails.... the bad man gave me scars...... the bad man sew my mouth shut.... the bad man will die.
[the Tails Doll resumes its slow move]
Shade: Dark, any ideas?
Dark: .....only one.
[cut to Shade and Dark out in the streets, the Tails Doll following them]
Shade: TAILS DOLL!
TD: Ruh?
Shade: Unpause time, and we will stay completely still for you to kill us.
TD: ......fine!
[the Tails Doll unpauses time, and starts laughing maniacally]
[Shade and Dark wave "goodbye"]
[suddenly...]
[STOMP!]
[the BOOM-ACK steps on the Tails Doll's remains]
Shade: Now let's run.
Dark: Got it.
[they run for it]
[RADIO!]
Shade: Chao, Cham, are you two okay?
Chao: Yep.
Cham: I'm fine.
Shade: Where are you?
Chao: We're in a garage. We can see you.... hurry and get here before that BOOM-ACK crushes you!
Shade: Roger that.
[RADIO OFF!]
[CRASH!]
[there's a Seeder there]
Dark: What the?
Shade: Haven't seen those in a while. It would explain why Control hasn't called yet.
Dark: Yes, it would.
Shade: Time to Hammer of Dawn of War it.
Dark: The satellites SERIOUSLY aren't overhead, Shade.
Shade: Oh. Well, how will we destroy it?
[Dark looks around, and sees a Troika and a propane tank]
Dark: Shoot that propane tank with that Troika!
Shade: Of course!
[BOOM! RAAAAWWR!]
[the Seeder dies in the explosion]
[RADIO!!!]
Shade: Control?
Egg: ........hello?
Shade: Yay, it works! Control, is the bridge up yet?
Egg: Negative, Delta.
Shade: Oh. Okay, Delta out.
[RADIO OFF!]
[Shade and Dark regroup with Chao and Cham; they keep moving]
ANGUISH: POWERS THAT THERE MAY BE
[as they explore the city some more, they talk a bit more]
Shade: So..... who here's seen "This is Spinal Tap?"
Dark: I have! Why else do you think I became a rock star in the first place?
Chao: I thought your rocker personality was loosely based off Ozzy Osbourne, and Ringo.
Dark: Well, yes, but also Spinal Tap heavily influenced me, as well.
Cham: I haven't seen This is Spinal Tap.
Shade: You should. It's hilarious.
Chao: Wait. I thought they were a BAND, not a MOVIE!
Shade: They ARE a band, but there's a movie made about them. I think it's a mock-u-mentary.
Dark: Actually, Spinal Tap used to not exist. But after "This is Spinal Tap," which was a mock/rock-u-mentary about a fictional rock band, they have released several songs under the name "Spinal Tap." One of their songs, "Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight" is in Guitar Hero 2 as an encore song.
Chao: Hm. I see.
Shade: Okay, what about the music video for The Kill, by 30 Seconds to Mars?
Dark: I have yet to see that one.
Chao: I think I saw it.
Cham: Doesn't ring a bell.
Shade: It's really weird. The song is in Rock Band, and soon to be in Guitar Hero 4, but the music video is messed UP.
Chao: Isn't that the one where the bear..... does.... sexual things... with that guy?
Shade: The bear blows the guy, yes.
Dark: Ooh, I wanna see that!
Shade: You don't actually SEE it. It's only implyed, because you see a bear at the foot of a bed, then you see this guy sit up next to it, on the bed. But, it's a good video. I think it might be based on The Shining, possibly. It certainly REMINDED me of it.
Chao: Yeah, all the band members are in that hotel, and they see mirror images of each other, and tons of freaky things happen.
Cham: Huh. Sounds neat.
Shade: What about "Edward Scissorhands?"
Dark: I think EVERYBODY'S seen that one.
Chao: I LOVE that movie!
Cham: That's the Tim Burton film where that guy has scissors for hands, right?
Shade: Yeah.
Cham: I liked it.
Shade: Okay..... how about "Misery?"
Dark: Read the book, saw the movie. Both are good.
Chao: Stephen King's so gory.
Cham: Misery.... Misery..... I.... think I've seen it.
Shade: "1408?"
Dark: It's cool. I like things about scary hotels.
Chao: I preferred Silent Hill 4.
Shade: Dude, that one was awesome.
Cham: Yeah. Especially when that bunny is always facing away from you... and then randomly looks at you.
Shade: *shudder* That part always freaks me out.
[they reach a power supply thing]
Shade: We found it!
[Shade activates it]
[RADIO!]
Shade: This is Delta. We've activated the bridge.
Egg: Good job, Delta! Now you can get to your Junker, and get to the train station!
Shade: Wilco. Moving to the Junker now.
[RADIO OFF!]
ANGUISH: TITANIC PROPORTIONS
[between them and the Junker is a huge parking lot]
Shade: C'mon, let's go!
[CRASH!]
[ROOOOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!]
All: ****!
[the BOOM-ACK is heading towards the power lines]
Cham: If it breaks those, our whole mission was a waste of time!
Shade: Time to finish the BOOM-ACK off.
[they begin shooting it]
[it roars, and stomps the ground, causing an earthquake]
Dark: Whoa, this guy is BIG!
Shade: Shut up and shoot it!
[while they shoot it, Shade notices an extremely messed-up Tails Doll riding on top of it, controlling it]
Shade: Dark....... look!
Dark: Huh? *notices* ......NO WAY. I thought we really killed it!
Shade: *sigh* The Tails Doll can NEVER die, Dark. All we can do now is just.... shoot it.
[Shade gets an idea]
Shade: Everyone, shoot the BOOM-ACK's legs!
Chao: Why?
Shade: Just do it!
[they shoot its legs; it falls over; the Tails Doll falls off]
Cham: That doll!?
Chao: It's the Tails Doll!
Shade: Yeah, now kill it! KILL IT!
[they all start shooting the Doll, throwing grenades at it, and chainsawing it]
[eventually, the Doll just.... dies; the Doll stops floating]
[the BOOM-ACK, without a leader, goes in a rampage]
Shade: Crap! I didn't think about this!
Dark: I've got an idea.
[Dark jumps onto the BOOM-ACK, and rides it off into the horizon]
[pause]
[KA-BOOM!]
[Dark is seen in the sky, falling down to the parking lot, action movie-style]
Dark: It's gone.
Chao: How'd you kill it?
Dark: Easy. I showed it the PS3.
Cham: It blew up out of sheer awesomeness?
Dark: NO! What are you, STUPID? It lost the will to live after seeing such crap, so it self-destructed!
Shade: .....you used TNT, didn't you?
Dark: I used TNT.
Shade: Anyway, let's move on.
[they get back into the Junker, and drive to the train station]
ANGUISH: PONY EXPRESS
(DJay's Note: We're back into the 360 version here.)
[they jump out of the Junker, and dash into a gunfight]
[tons of Instarobots were waiting for them]
Shade: According to Control, the train isn't here yet, but when it gets here, it's not gonna stop for us.
Chao: So how'll we get on?
Shade: We jump on, epicly.
[they get behind parked cars, broken concrete, and parked trains, shooting at the robots]
[once all the enemies are dead, a new O CRAP HOLE opens]
[they take care of it]
Shade: Here comes the train.... get ready....
[as the train passes, Shade and Dark hop on]
[but, not Chao and Cham; more Instarobots fight them]
Chao: Don't worry, Shade! We'll catch up!
ANGUISH: TRAIN DECIMATION
[the train is a long one, which looks slightly like a freight train-- no roof, no walls, just the floor]
[there are cabins ahead]
[Shade and Dark are on the car at the VERY back]
[the train is speeding along what seems like a huge, barren desert, at sunset]
Shade: So.... Dark.... you ready to start the final mission?
Dark: I'm ready.
Shade: No backup. I don't think Chao and Cham will catch up with us for a while.
Dark: I'm..... I'm ready.
Shade: The Instability have taken over this train, you know.
Dark: I SAID I'M READY!!
Shade: Okay! Let's go.
[they begin moving along the train cars, and the Instarobots appear further ahead, hiding behind cover]
Shade: Let's get this over with.
[they duck behind cover, and do some blind firing at the enemies]
[Dark tosses a grenade or two, and shoots]
[once everything is clear, they move ahead]
[they reach the back door to the first cabin]
Shade: Damn. It's locked.
Dark: Sam n' Max, rip that door!
[Sam n' Max appears, and starts unlocking it]
?: SHAAAAADE! DAAAAAAAARK!
[Shade and Dark turn around and scream]
[they see a red blur dashing along the desert]
[it jumps high and lands on the last train car]
[WHOOOO'S THAT POKEMON?]
[IIIIIT'S MECHA KNUCKLES!]
[except, Mecha has no arms]
MK: Just.... because I..... HAVE.... NO..... arms..... DOESN'T mean I can't..... kiLL... YoU!
Shade: But.... but.... we watched you shut down!
MK: I'm so unstable. So.... IN...stable. I can.... be impulsive if I..... WanT tO.
[Mecha charges forward, and smacks into the cabin]
MK: So.... ready to die?
Shade: Can't we just talk first?
MK: Sure thing, pal! Howzabout we talk about your DEATH?
Shade: As long as we just... talk.
MK: Awwww.... but what's the point in JUST talking when ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS?
[Shade gestures for Dark to slowly follow him; they sneak past him]
MK: I KnOW whEre you ARE...
[Mecha turns around, and kicks Dark]
Dark: Oof!
Shade: Dark!
MK: Face it, pally. There's no beating me. Muh huh huh huh....
[Shade grabs Dark, and enters the cabin that Sam n' Max just opened]
MK: Hey, I can still come in there! You can't do anything to me!
[Shade presses a button inside the cabin, and the cars outside it detatch and stop]
MK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh..............!
[Dark throws an extra grenade, just to "help the situation"]
Shade: Let's get back to moving.
[they move up the train, inside the cabins, shooting Instability and Instarobots]
Dark: Awfully long train, isn't it?
Shade: It's a supply train, Dark. It has to have enough food for the Factory people.
[they see some flying Instability outside the windows]
Dark: Shade, what are those things?
Shade: I think they're flying Instability, Dark. What did you THINK they were?
Dark: I'm scared, though!
Shade: Relax! They're no threat to us!
[the flying creatures, which we'll call Grinning Reapers, eerily fly alongside the train, doing nothing but following Shade and Dark]
[RADIO!]
Egg: Shade, you've got some Grinning Reapers headed your way. They have Instarobots piloting them!
Shade: Uh-oh, that doesn't sound too good.
Egg: You have some Troikas on the train you can use to kill them.
Shade: Really? Cool! Wilco, Delta out!
[RADIO OFF!]
Shade: Dark, we're gonna get to use some Troikas.
Dark: Yay!
[they climb some ladders to the roof of the train, and get on some Troikas]
[they take out the Grinning Reapers]
[rumble]
[RADIO!]
Shade: Control, what was that?
Egg: It seems that some Instability in the front of the train are starting to detatch your car from the train.
Shade: WHAT?!
Egg: You have 45 seconds.
[RADIO OFF!]
Shade: Dark, c'mon! We have 45 seconds to get to the front of the train!
Dark: Crap-a-da-doo-dah!
[they jump back into the train as it goes into a tunnel and accellerates, going much faster]
[they can feel the car rumbling as it begins to detatch]
Shade: Hurry!
Dark: Hurrying!
[they run through the cabins and such until the rumbling stops]
[RADIO!]
Shade: Control, has the detatchment stopped?
Egg: Negative. It's now in the process of detatching.
Shade: CRAP!
[RADIO OFF!]
[they reach a locked door]
Dark: Sam n' Max, rip that door!
[Sam n' Max begins opening the door]
[the lights go off]
Shade: HURRY, SAM N' MAX!
[some Instability break into the train through the vents]
Shade: Crap! *budda budda* Take 'em out!
[the Instability get very close to them before Sam n' Max opens the door]
[they dive in]
[the Instability grab Sam n' Max, and tear it apart]
Dark: NOOOOOOO!!!
Shade: Dark, get a hold of yourself! *slap* Now those things are coming after US!
[the cars detatch; Shade and Dark are in the front car, so they aren't affected]
Shade: .....
Dark: .....
Shade: Never mind, then.
ANGUISH: PALE AND HOARSE
[they are in a small cabin; outside the door in front of them is a large, open train car; the engine is at the front]
Shade: We're here. There's the engine. We gotta place these explosives that I got from Sam n' Max on the engine.
Dark: Oooh... this sounds hard.
Shade: You just let me do the work. But, are you ready to finish what we started?
Dark: ................I'm ready.
[they walk out into the open car]
[nightfall comes; the KYLL surround the car]
[luckily, Shade and Dark are by a bit of cover with lamps on it]
[the train is speeding like crazy now]
Dark: Shade, what's that?
Shade: Huh?
[at the other end of the car is a very scary-looking figure]
[it is crouching]
[it gets up, showing spikes on its head, a cape, elf-like shoes, and sharp hands coming out of what look like robotic sleeves]
Shade: Metal?
[the figure points to the sky, and a bolt of lightning strikes, showing for a split second....]
[Neo Metal Sonic, covered in blood, with one arm, one eye, and three tails]
Both: CRAP!!!
[at all times, his one red eye glows ominously in the darkness]
Shade: Metal, don't tell me they got you, too!
MS: Help..... help me, mommy....... the bad man tore my eye out.... the bad man tore my arm off..... the bad man gave me three tails.... the bad man gave me scars...... the bad man sew my mouth shut.... the bad man will die.
[Metal raises his hand to the sky, and thousands of KYLL surround him]
[Metal slowly starts walking towards them]
Dark: Shade..... I'm REALLY scared now.
Shade: S...so am I.
Dark: I mean, we're up against ****ing METAL SONIC, Instabilitized, and THE KYLL! And not the awesome one by 30 Seconds to Mars, I mean the BAD ones!
Shade: I KNOW, ALRIGHT!? I'm....*sniff*... I don't know what to do!
Dark: But..... *sniff* you.... you..... ALWAYS..... know what to do...
Shade: *sob* Not this time..... this time..... I think we're really done for. I really..... really.... think so...
[Metal is still slowly getting closer]
[the camera dramatically shows Shade and Dark, crying]
[suddenly, a light shines on Metal; the KYLL fly away]
[Shade and Dark look up, and see Redd Fox's helicopter shining a spotlight on the train; Chao and Cham are riding in it with Troikas]
Chao: SHADE!
Shade: Couldn't you guys have come any sooner?!
Chao: WE TOOK THE WRONG TURN AT ALBUQUERQUE!
Shade: Heh..... *laughter* Now, could you guys give us a hand?!
Cham: Sure thing. *budda budda budda* EAT LEAD, METAL SCUM!
Dark: Shade, the KYLL are no longer protecting him! Let's shoot him!
Shade: Huh? Oh, right.
[they shoot at Metal]
[the KYLL begin attacking Redd Fox's helicopter, but he flies away]
[with no light over Metal, the KYLL return to him]
Shade: Crap.
Dark: Back to square one. What will we do?
Shade: Just stay low.
[pause; they can hear Metal slowly getting closer]
Chao: FIRE!
[they shine the light over Metal again; the KYLL fly away]
Shade: SHOOT!
[Shade and Dark shoot at Metal]
[the cycle repeats, but this time, Redd Fox is completely killed by the KYLL; Chao and Cham hop onto the train before the helicopter crashes]
Shade: Whoa, TIME OUT! This.... this wasn't supposed to happen!
Dark: I guess we'll have to just.... wait here until we die.
MS: .......RAAAGH!
Shade: Wha?
[Shade peeks over the cover, and sees Metal holding his head]
Shade: Metal, are you okay?
MS: Shade..... SHOOT ME.... now..... I've sent... the KYLL...... away...... SHOOT ME!
Shade: But.....
Cham: NOW, SHADE!
[they fire at Metal; right before the KYLL return, Metal falls off the train, and blows up]
All: *cheer*
Dark: WE DID IT!
Cham: Not quite.
Shade: Cham's right. I've still got to plant the explosives, then we gotta bail somehow.
Chao: But.... how? Redd Fox is down!
?: So, you're just..... gonna.... have to DIE..... with us!
Shade: No way.
Dark: Can't be.
Chao: Impossible.
Cham: But it IS....
[they turn around, and see, in the doorway....]
[an extremely destroyed Mecha Knuckles]
Shade: Easy there, Mecha.... we didn't mean to kill you.
MK: Kill me? Hahahahahaha! You can't kill ME! I... I am the king of our side of the Chess board!
Shade: Wha...... say WHAAAAAAAAAAT!?
MK: Tails Doll never told you? Ah, you can't get that moron to do ANYTHING right.
Chao: So.... you're.... the LEADER of the Instability?
MK: Essentially. Sure, I'm not their creator; I'm not the first Instability; I'm certainly not the actual KING.... but, I'm the strongest, scariest, deadliest, most persistant, and most important!
Dark: Are you gonna tell us all about the Instability, or something?
MK: Eh, why bother? You're gonna die soon, anyway. What's the point of LEARNING when you're seconds from death? I CAN tell you something to compare us to, though. The Flood. Except.... we're cooler, and from a better series.
Shade: You weren't from a game series!
MK: No, we're not, but we're from DCA. That's a SERIES. Doesn't matter. Time for me to do my job.
[Mecha Knuckles charges forward; the chao dive to the side]
[Mecha stops before hits the engine]
MK: Wait. Why am I still fighting at an unfair disadvantage? There are FOUR of you, each fully intact, and only ONE of me, with most of my limbs missing.
Chao: Can you at least tell us why your limbs are missing?
MK: It's got something to do with our bodies being unstable, and feeding off of space and time, and stuff.
Chao: Oh.
[Mecha strains, and manages to grow some really freaky-looking limbs (the ones he was missing)]
MK: That's better. Oh, and now I can see, too! Neat! ....oh, THERE you are. Time for the last horses to finally cross the DEATH line.
[Mecha grabs Cham, and throws him off the train]
Cham: HELP!
[Mecha chases after Chao; Shade sneaks to the engine, and plants the explosives]
[Shade then begins shooting Mecha]
MK: Heh.... I thought I told you that shooting is useless.
Shade: Yes, but.... I can still try.
MK: Oh, no you can't!
[Mecha picks Shade up, and prepares to punch him to death, when Dark sticks a grenade to Mecha]
MK: What the?
Dark: That's for all you've done to us, you meanie!
MK: AIEEE!!! A GRENADE! A GRENADE!
[Mecha runs around, knocks Chao and Dark off the train, drops Shade, and dives off the train, himself]
[so, Shade's the only one still on the train]
Shade: .......I don't like where this is going.
[Shade looks into the distance, and sees a huge bridge going over a lake of plasma]
[the plasma leads to the Factory; the bridge is broken; that's how the train gets to the Factory]
Shade: ....CRAP. CRAP. CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! HELP ME! SOMEBODY! NO! AAAHHH!!! I DON'T WANNA DIE!
[Shade runs in circles before seeing a spotlight shine on him]
Shade: Wha?
Chao: SHADE! GRAB MY HAND!
Shade: ...huh?
[Shade sees a helicopter, piloted by Shadow Bonic, and Chao is there, extending his hand]
Chao: GRAB MY HAND!
Shade: I.... I can't! I won't be able to make it!
Chao: YES, YOU WILL!
Dark: C'MON, SHADE!
Shade: Dark?
Cham: SHADOW BONIC'S AWESOME PILOTING SKILLS SAVED OUR BUTTS OUT THERE, MAN!
Dark: AND NOW HE'S GONNA SAVE YOURS!
Shade: ....I... I can't make that jump.
Egg: Yes, you can.
Shade: Eggman?
[Eggman is there, arms crossed]
Egg: Come on, Shade. You can do it. This is your last task.
Shade: ........okay.
[Shade gets a running start, leaps, and falls]
Shade: NOOOO!!!
[a hand grabs him-- Eggman's]
Egg: You're.... not...... gonna DIE, Shade!
[Eggman pulls Shade up; the others help]
Shade: Wow..... thanks, guys..... *pant* you..... you really helped me out there.
Chao: Well, we weren't going to just let you DIE.
Dark: Shh! The movie's starting!
Shade: Movie?
[Dark points to the train; Shade turns around and sees the train fall into the plasma]
Egg: Here it comes....
[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!]
[the camera pans out, showing the helicopter flying away as a huge explosion comes out of the plasma lake]
[Metal's voice-over is heard speaking]
MS: *sigh* The gears of war keep spinning.... and the roses of gunfire fuel it. The Factory was destroyed that day, along with all the Instabilities. Mecha blew up, thanks to the heroic efforts of Dark. Delta Squad managed to prevent the Instability from completely possessing my body. Did I die? Of course not. A mere explosion cannot kill me! *cough cough* But, it certainly hurt. The Tails Doll was killed, thanks to the Delta Squad. In the end, the Instability's invasion was averted.... and we owe it all to you, Shade. ...and Dark. And Cham. And Chao. Of course, those already possessed by the fourth-dimension menace... are gone forever. But, you are not forgotten. However...... (getting more and more sinister) perhaps the Factory was destroyed..... but not eradicated? Perhaps the Instability was defeated.... but not finished off? Perhaps Shade won the battle..... but not the war? Perhaps Mecha Knuckles fell off the train.... but not out of life? Perhaps we actually....... WON? After all, we WILL win this war. It is only a matter of time. Now that Shade is the last of Delta Squad that's truly..... ALIVE...... muahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA!!! No one can save him NOW! Mwah-hah! MWAH-HAH!MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!
[the screen fades to black as Dark, Chao, Cham, Eggman, and Shadow Bonic laugh monotonously, while Metal laughs maniacally]
Shade: Are you guys alright? I think you've gotten tons of scars, or something.
Dark: Not to worry, Shade. Not...... to...... WORRY.
Shade: ......I don't like where this is going.
[a chainsaw engine is heard revving; the Gears n' Roses logo appears on-screen]
[as the credits roll, "Sweet Child o' Mine" plays, but with Rubber Goose, Dark's band, playing it! And playing a little differently, too.]
[oh, and Cham is the singer]
(DJay's Note: This is a TERRIBLE song. I'm not good at lyrics.)
"Cham's Description of an Instability"
Rubber Goose, based on "Sweet Child o' Mine" by Guns n' Roses
CHAM:
She's got a smile that, sewn shut, it seems,
Reminds me of repressed memories...
Where everything
Was as red as their blood-red skulls. (skulls, skulls, skulls)
Now and then when I see her face...
She takes me away to that horrible place,
And if I'd stare too long,
My face, too, would be very dull. (dull, dull, dull)
Oh, Oh, Oh,
Gears n' Roses!
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
As dead as Moses!
She's got eyes of the blackest holes...
As if they thought of death.
I hate to look into those eyes;
I always feel like I'm on meth.
Her hair reminds me of a warm, rocky place,
Which, as a child, I'd fear.
And pray for the Hero Chaos,
And the Garden,
To quietly take me from.
Oh, Oh, Oh,
Gears n' Roses!
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
As dead as Moses!
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
Gears n' Roses!
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
As dead as Moses!
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,
Gears n' Roses!
Oh,
As dead as Moses!
[Guitar Solo]
Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Oh, Oh,
Where do we go?
Oh,
Where CAN we go now?
Where do we go?
Oh, (Shade, help)
Where do we go now?
Oh,
Where do we go now?
Oh,
Where do we go?
Oh,
Where do we go now?
Oh,
Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Oh,
Where do we go now?
No, No, No, No, No, No
Shade, help,
Shade, help me, please.
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