Friday, October 31, 2008

Gears n' Roses Act 4: Sweet Long Road Home Alabama

[cut to Delta Squad flying in the helicopter]
[they got more ammo, and are all suited up]
[and it's daytime, so no KYLL]
Shade: So, let's get clear on what we're doing.
Dark: 'Kay.
Shade: We're flying to future Shawn's house, or future my dad, and we're searching his house for some data on the factory. Okay?
Cham: Yep.
Chao: Fine.
Dark: I like surprises.
Red: Uh, guys, we're going down. Some robots shot us.
Shade: Dark.... shut up. We're going down, so... brace yourselves.
[Delta Squad jumps out, and lands on solid ground]
[Red manages to escape, as well, but somewhere far away]
Shade: OW. Status report.
Chao: We're fine, but..... pretty far from your dad's house, I'd say.
Cham: But, where ARE we?
Chao: ...looks like a college.
Dark: YAY, A COLLEGE! I wanna join Alpha-Beta, and beat me up some nerds!
Shade: Wrong series, Dark. And, this looks more like a.... destroyed college.
Chao: Look out; we got robots!
[the robots charge in and ambush them]
[budda budda budda]
[two Boomers enter the fray]
Shade: Crap. Take 'em down, and let's get outta here!
[they kill the Boomers and run for it before more show up]
[then, they reach a large, robot-filled street]
Cham: ....what do we do here?
Shade: Hmmm... I think it's your time to shine, Chao. You and Dark go through those buildings and maybe snipe some robots for us. Cham and I'll go through these streets.
Chao: Hey, whatever you say. You're the leader.
[for once, we focus on Chao as he and Dark explore the buildings]
Chao: Dark.
Dark: Chao.
Chao: ....race you to the top of these stairs.
Dark: You're on!
[they run up the stairs, and Dark wins]
Dark: HA!
Chao: Oh, you..... you just.... won magically.
Dark: Face it, Chao. You can't beat the beaters of the beaten!
[they hear a plate crash nearby]
Chao: What was that?
Dark: I don't know..... but, it came from the kitchen.
Chao: It.... did?
[they peek around the corner, and see a lone, broken plate lying on the floor]
Chao: What.... the.... heck?
Dark: Maybe it was your suckiness coming to life?
Chao: Shut up!
[they hear something moving around]
Dark: There it was again.
[they see something moving]
[Chao gestures for Dark to follow him]
[they look around the corner, and see one of the creatures tearing apart a random corpse]
[Dark accidentally knocks a random can lying on the floor]
[the creature turns around, staring deep into their souls with its deep eyes]
Dark: Hey... this one is different than the others...
Chao: What? How so?
Dark: It... it....... has no eyes.
Chao: No eyes? *shudder*
Dark: It's just.... these weird things look like they're turning less and less stable every time we see them...
Chao: Less stable? ...I don't see it. You have a weird perception of things, Dark. And you randomly speak smart!
Dark: Wait. It's gone.
Chao: ...but.... I kept my eyes on it at all times. When did it leave? And how?
Dark: I don't know.... this is really weird. Let's hurry and regroup with Shade.
Chao: Agreed.
[they go through the buildings, sniping some robots on the ground, until they regroup in the streets ahead]
Shade: Status report.
Chao: We're fine.
Dark: But, we ran into a creature thing. was different.
Shade: Different? How so?
Dark: Rather than one eye... it had none.
All: *shudder*
Egg: How are things going? We heard your copter crashed, and you're in the streets now.
Shade: Things are going rather well. But, we have no idea where to go from here.
Egg: State your surroundings.
Shade: There's.....a HUGE greenhouse slash conservatory here.
Egg: Go in there. It'll put you on the right track.
Shade: Uh.... thanks?
MS: Remember, you NEED to get to your father's house, Shade. I'll try and see if--
Shade: ....Metal?
Egg: Commander Metal, are you there?
MS: ...........
Egg: Hmm.... radio status shows that he's been disconnected. Let me try to reach him.
Egg: ..........
Shade: .....Eggman?
Egg: ..........
Shade: Whoa. He hung up on me.
Chao: Not quite, Shade. I'm picking up some electronic interference coming from somewhere... probably your father's house.
Shade: Oh, sweet! It's probably just through this greenhouse, then!
[they enter the greenhouse]
Chao: Oh, and.... the Hammer of Dawn of War is online. The satellites are above us, and it's daytime.
Shade: Sweet! We're gonna breeze through this in a nanosecond!
[they walk through the huge greenhouse slash conservatory]
Shade: So.... anybody played Kirby Super Star Ultra yet?
Cham: I have. It's.... it's fun.
Chao: Same.
Dark: Same.
Shade: mean I'm the only one who hasn't?!
Chao: No, we're just lying to make you feel bad. ...well, I am.
Shade: So, you've never played it.
Chao: Nope.
Shade: HA! I lied! I have! Now YOU'RE the only one who hasn't!
Chao: What? Oh, COME ON! Well.... at least tell me how it is!
Shade: It's awesome. I beat it a while ago. Meta Knight's final boss is INTENSE, dude.
Chao: Oh, I hate you.
Shade: I know you do, Chao. I know youPOW!!!!
[Shade is sent flying into a wall as Mecha Knuckles charges in]
DeltaSquad: HOLY ****!!! HOLY ****!!! HOLY ****!!!
Chao: (whispering) Shade's out cold. What do we do?
Cham: (whispering) Walk. Slowly. Around. This. Guy.
Dark: (whispering) Well, let's hurry.... I'm scared.
[as they quietly sneak around Mecha, Dark looks at him and freaks out; he yelps loudly]
Dark: Wait! Mecha.... what happened to your arm?
MK: Oh.... that? That.... THAT.... is...... IS..... well............ UM.....
Chao: And when did you get two extra tails?
Chao: Wait. You mean.... this is related to those weird creatures?
Dark: lol portal
[Mecha punches Dark with his hand that he has]
[Dark smacks against the wall]
Cham: Uh... Chao? Hammer of Dawn of War?
Chao: We're indoors.
Cham: ****.
MK: MY FRIENDS, I AM AFRAID... IT IS time.... for you.... to PEr...isH! Oh, mAN.... WHAT's happenING...?!
[Mecha holds his head, and suddenly, his other arm falls off; everyone awake screams]
[Mecha shuts down and falls over]
[Chao and Cham stand there for a few minutes, in disbelief, panting, before finally helping Dark and Shade]
Shade: Wait, so...... WHAT did Mecha say before he died?
Chao: "Why, Commander? Why did you kill everyone?"
Shade: Commander.... Metal?
Dark: Wait.... so, Metal killed his own people, then lied about it?
Shade: I doubt he was lying, Dark. In fact.... I get the feeling that he's not telling us something. Maybe there's another factor in the equation of these mysterious creatures...
Cham: I love metaphors and similes.
Shade: Hello? Is anyone there?
MS: .....*static*
Shade: Metal?
MS: .......ha........n.......I'
MS: Is that better?
Shade: Much better.
MS: So, what is it?
Shade: Uh... we ran into Mecha again. He had the same symptoms as the creatures. Except, he lost his other arm, and then died.
MS: Say.... WHAT?!
Shade: And get this: Before he died, he said you killed everyone.
MS: He DID, did he? Hmm..... I see.
Shade: What?
MS: I now have a theory for what's going on. Just a small one.
Shade: Shoot.
MS: I think that these creatures you're running into are the Instability, slowly decomposing.
Shade: Makes sense.
MS: I also think that they are carrying a deadly virus that is CAUSING them to decompose. A contagious virus.
Shade: Hmm.... I think I have an objection, maybe. What about the three tails?
MS: ..................................................good point.
Shade: Still, man, Mecha's DEAD. Isn't this.... good?
MS: Yes. So, I'd recommend you get a move on before any other mysterious enemies appear.
Shade: Wilco. We're going.
Chao: So...?
Shade: Let's get a move on.
Cham: Can do.
[Delta Squad goes through the city, shoot 'em up-ing robots, while looking for Shawn's house]
Chao: So...... how IS Kirby Super Star Ultra?
Shade: Awesome. I beat it 100%.
Chao: What? And WHEN?
Shade: About five days after I got it.
Chao: Oh, so it's short and easy.
Shade: OBJECTION! It's NOT short, and it's NOT easy. I had played the original Kirby Super Star, so I knew a lot of secrets.
Dark: Yeah, it's hard.
Shade: And, I'm just plain good at Kirby.
Chao: Oh.
Shade: And....... I..... sorta..... used Action Replay.... for the True Arena.
Chao: ....Really? You suck THAT bad?
Shade: Have you ever even TRIED the True Arena before, Chao?
Chao: I don't even know what it IS!
Shade: *snap* Dark.
Dark: The True Arena is the final game mode in Kirby Super Star Ultra, and the third and final boss rush mode. You play Kirby with a choice of one of many copy abilities, and try to defeat all ten brand-new bosses with limited healing abilities.
Chao: What's this about "final game mode?"
Dark: Kirby Super Star and Kirby Super Star Ultra are made up of multiple Kirby games in one. Ultra, being the remake, has more game modes. The original has one boss rush, called "The Arena," while Ultra has three: The Arena, Helper to Hero, and The True Arena.
Chao: Cool. What about this "limited healing abilities" thing?
Dark: The Arena and Helper to Hero have a few Maxim Tomatoes, which heal you completely. However, the True Arena only has a few regular tomatoes, which only heal you a little bit. And once you've eaten the tomatoes, they never come back.
Chao: ....whoa.
[they make it out of the main city]
[they reach the outskirts of town, but they don't actually NOTICE; they're just shooting robots and talking]
Cham: So, uh.... could you tell us some of the bosses in these modes?
Dark: For spoiler purposes, no.
Cham: Oh.
Chao: What about difficulty, then?
Dark: The games are ranked on difficulty by stars. 1 star means it's REALLY easy. 2 stars means it's rather easy. 3 stars means you might die every now and then. 4 stars means you're gonna die a lot. 5 stars means "Good luck, pal." 6 stars means "Steer clear of this game mode!" And 7 stars, only given to ONE game mode, means "Beat this and you win."
Chao: I see.
Dark: Spring Breeze, the remake of the original Kirby's Dreamland, is 1 star. Gourmet Race, a footrace where the most famous Kirby song came from, is 2 stars. Dyna Blade, an average Kirby adventure, is 3 stars. Revenge of Meta Knight, an epic action-adventure game where the Halberd came from, is 4 stars. The Great Cave Offensive, a huge adventure slash treasure hunt, is 4 stars. Milky Way Wishes, a huge, novel, space epic, also where Marx's theme in Brawl came from, is 5 stars. The Arena, the first of the arenas, with a total of 20 bosses, and also is the final game that was on the original, is 6 stars. At this point, the ranking system appears to be full, and it seems no game can get a higher rank.
Chao: And the new games?
Dark: Revenge of the King, a harder, darker, and longer version of Spring Breeze, also sticking closer to the original Kirby's Dreamland's difficulty, is 5 stars. Meta Knightmare Ultra, a mode where you play through the four platformers from Super Star as Meta Knight, is 5 stars. Helper to Hero, the second arena where you choose one of twenty 'helpers,' or friendly enemies, and go through 13 bosses, is 6 stars. The True Arena, the final arena and game mode where you fight five bosses from Revenge of the King, one set of hard mini-bosses, and the Last Four, is seven stars. There are also five mini-games you can play.
Chao: Holy crap, that's a lot of games.
Cham: Yep.
Chao: Now, what's this about the Last Four?
Dark: The Last Four is a group of bosses you fight last in The True Arena. Normally, in the Arena games, the bosses are fought randomly, except for the final boss and in Helper to Hero. But, in The True Arena, only the first six are randomized.
Chao: But, who ARE they?
Dark: *sigh* Readers, if you don't want to be spoiled, then skip ahead to the next chapter.
Dark: The Final Boss of the (regular) Arena is Marx, who is also the final boss of Milky Way Wishes. He is your typical Kirby final boss, teleporting everywhere and using weird, space-y projectiles and killer moves. He's also hard the first few times you fight him, but soon fighting him becomes a fun, daily activity, just like the other Kirby final bosses. The Final Boss of Helper to Hero is Wham Bam Rock, who is also the final boss of The Great Cave Offensive. You may know him as a rock version of Master Hand. They say Master Hand's moveset was based off of Wham Bam Rock. However, in Helper to Hero, once you beat WBR, it transforms into Wham Bam Jewel, which is a harder, tougher, crystallized form of WBR. The Final Boss of Revenge of the King is Masked Dedede. Masked Dedede is a harder form of King Dedede, who is that giant penguin with the hammer. Masked Dedede obviously has a mask, but also has a mechanized hammer, and the arena you fight him in is an electric cage. The Final Boss of Meta Knightmare Ultra is Galacta Knight, who looks like Meta Knight, but is white and pink, has a huge lance, flies all the time, has angel wings, red eyes, and horns. He's also very hard for those not used to Kirby. Also, his theme song is not what you'd expect a Kirby song to be-- hard rock. The Last Four is ALWAYS Masked Dedede, then Wham Bam Jewel, then Galacta Knight, and then... Marx Soul. Marx Soul is a freaky, zombie form of Marx. He is much harder than Marx, and much more unpredictable.
Chao: Holy crap, man, that sounds TOUGH.
Dark: It is.
Shade: Very. But, I only used the Infinite HP cheat for True Arena. Every other game mode, I beat by myself.
Chao: Also, how did Dark--
Shade: I trained him.
[they reach Shawn's home]
Shade: Hey, we made it!
Chao: Not quite.
[outside Shawn's home is a HUGE staircase leading up to it]
[tons of robots and Boomers are there]
Shade: Damn. Dark, you and Chao flank right; Cham and I will take the offensive while you two stay close behind.
[they start running up the stairs]
[Cham kills a Boomer as Shade defeats waves of robots]
Cham: Uh, Shade? Too many robots!
Shade: Yep.... just keep shooting.
[the robots get to be too many]
Shade: Dark, Chao! HELP!
Dark: Can't! Too many!
Chao: Yeah, my hands are full, too!
Shade: CRAP! Only one thing left to do here, huh, Dark?
Dark: I didn't bring my guitar, Shade!
Shade: Double CRAP! What do we do, then?
Chao: .....I've got an idea.
Chao: Redd Fox, this is Chao Mein. I need you to bring us the Junker.
Red: Junker? Uh, where'd you park it?
Chao: Outside the Factory. We're outside Shawn's house.
Red: I hope no robots shoot me down this time... but, okay. Wait! I thought it blew up!
Chao: Yeah, but I fixed it. I'm magic.
Red: ....whatever. I'll get it.
Shade: Well?
Chao: Hold on a little bit. Just keep fighting.
[they manage to survive for a little bit before Redd Fox brings them the Junker]
Shade: So.... what, we gonna run 'em over in the Junker? 'Cause there's still too many.
Chao: Better. Chao Chat said they'd play a favorite of mine around now, so...
[they turn on the stereo]
Announcer: Yeah, this is 200.1 FM, Chao Chat, the #1 A-Life radio station. Our next song is a song considered by some to be a very, very good one. So..... kick it, homie!
[Guns n' Roses' "Sweet Child o' Mine" plays]
Shade: Nice one, Chao!
Chao: This should at least give us a good... I dunno, boost.

[famous opening riff]
[bass kicks in]
[whole band kicks in]
She's got a smile that it seems to me,
Reminds me of childhood memories,
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky! (sky, sky, sky...)
Now and then when I see her face;
She takes me away to that
special place!
And if I stared too long,
I'd probably break down and cry! (cry, cry, cry...)

Ooooh, whoa, whoa, whoa,
Sweet child o' mine!
Whoa, oh, oh, oh,
Sweet love of mine!

[other famous guitar riff]

She's got eyes of the bluest skies!
As if they thought of rain,
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain.
Her hair reminds me
of a warm, safe place,
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder,
And the rain,
To quietly pass me by!

Sweet child o' mine!
Oooooowhoa, oh, oh, oh,
Sweet love of mine!
Whoa, oh, oh, oh,
Sweet child o' mine!
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Sweet love of mine!

[guitar solo]

Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Sweet child o' mine!
Where do we go now?
I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
Where do we go now?
Sweet child o' mine!
Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Where do we go?
Sweet child,
Sweet chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiild
of miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine....

Announcer: Once again, that was "Sweet Child o' Mine," by Guns n' Roses. Next, we have the Barney theme song!
[a Boomer blows the Junker up; Delta Squad kills it]
[by now, they've finished off all the robots]
Shade: Damn. The Junker's broke.
Chao: I can fix it.
Shade: Well then, FIX IT! Cham, back him up while Dark and I go into my dad's house and take care of the mission.
Cham: Yes, sir.
[Shade and Dark enter the mansion]
[there are a few O CRAP HOLES inside]
Dark: I got 'em!
[BOOM! CRASH! The O CRAP HOLES get filled up]
Shade: Nice.
Dark: So, where do we go now? Where do we go? Where do we go now?
Shade: I dunno. Probably the basement. Let's check it out.
[they explore the dark corridors of the basement, occasionally destroying some robots, and running into what Metal calls "The New Instabilities," or those mysterious creatures]
[yeah, let's call the mysterious creatures, the Instability]
[eventually, they make it to a huge wine cellar, where they reach a dead end]
Shade: Huh. This is.... odd.
Dark: Yeah. Why does this wine cellar have no wine in it?
Shade: No, not that.... although, that IS strange. I mean, there's no way out of this room but backwards...
Dark: And we can't go back, because this is a new chapter, right?
Shade: Yep. Let's search this place.
[they search the wine cellar]
Dark: Shade, over here! I FOUND SOMETHING GOOD!
Shade: What?
Shade: *sigh* You and your wine... c'mon, we're supposed to find my dad's secret lab or something!
Dark: You know what, Shade? You're like Jesus. You turn water into WHINE.
[Dark pulls a bottle of wine out from the cabinet]
Dark: WHAT!? EMPTY!? No way!
[the cabinet moves to the side, revealing a secret lab]
Shade: Dark, you did it!
Dark: Did what? Found an empty bottle of wine?
Shade: No, you found the freaking secret lab!
Dark: Oh. Cool!
[they enter the lab, and push some buttons]
[a map of the Factory appears]
Shade: Control, this is Delta. We've found the secret lab, and the map.
Egg: That's great!
Shade: In fact, Dark's got Sam n' Max downloading it right now.
Dark: It's gonna take a while.
Egg: Well, hurry back!
Shade: Wilco. Delta out.
Dark: Shade, Sam n' Max has this weird teleport thing. He'll teleport back to us whenever we want him to, so...
Shade: We get outta here, and when he's done downloading, get him to come back?
Dark: Yeah.
Shade: Okay. Hang on...
Shade: Delta Two, this is Delta One. How are you two doing?
Chao: The Junker's looking good. Just a few more tweaks...
Shade: Get Cham to go to the second floor of the mansion and wait for us. We're coming back.
Chao: Uh... copy that.
Shade: So, we going or what?
Dark: Yeah, let's go. Sam n' Max, as soon as you're done downloading, teleport back to us.
[they leave the lab, only to be ambushed by robots]
Shade: Crap!
[Dark throws a grenade; it blows the robots up]
Dark: We'd better run. The force is strong with these things.
[they run for it, killing some robots, before reaching a big room]
[the doors shut; robots ambush them]
Shade: Aw, crap.
Dark: *click click* I'm out of ammo!
Shade: WHAT!? *click click* Damn, so am I!
[rumble rumble rumble]
Shade: Crap, now what?
[holes break open in the walls, and the Instability crawl in]
Both: ****!
[the robots and the Instability fight as Shade and Dark dive for cover]
[Shade looks up from cowering, and sees the Instability tearing apart at the robots]
Shade: Dark.... I doubt if we're gonna make it out of this one...
Dark: Shade, I think we'd need another thing that never happened in Gears of War in order to get outta this one...
[cut to Chao working on the Junker; no robots are anywhere near him; gunshots are heard in the city]
Chao: Hm?'s probably just robots shooting birds, or something.
[Cham is in the mansion's second floor with a sniper rifle, looking out the window, covering Chao]
Cham: This is strange. Where are all the robots?
[Cham sees a huge army at the bottom of the staircase]
Cham: ......................................c...c...c....crap.....!
Chao: Huh? You say something?
Cham: Chao, I highly recommend you.... get... in the house.... NOW.
Chao: Why? There are no robots here.
Cham: While that may be true...... there's something even worse.... down there.
[Chao looks down the staircase, and sees a huge, huge, HUGE army of Instability]
Chao: !!! Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap CRAP!
[Chao runs into the house, and to Cham]
Chao: What are they doing?!
Cham: They're just..... standing there.
Chao: Anything significant?
Cham: No..... wait. Chao, I don't think those ARE the creature things.
Chao: What makes you think that?
Cham: They.... look like robots.
Chao: You serious?, they DO look like them!
Cham: Robots with one eye, one arm, three tails, and scars all over. What is going ON here?
Chao: ...shoot one of them.
Cham: Are you CRAZY?
Chao: Hey, they might be sending a spy over, or something!
Cham: *groan* All right, I'll shoot one.
[Cham shoots one; the Instability robot things start marching up the stairs]
Cham: Holy....
Chao: What?
Cham: They're all moving as one..... like they're all part of one consciousness...
Chao: Typical Sci-Fi mysterious creature story.
Cham: Also, I'd recommend we try to find Shade and Dark before we get killed--wait.
Chao: What?
Cham: Dude, among those things.... is Speedy! What the crap? ....and Phantom? And the other third-parties?
Chao: But.... they were KYLL'd.
Both: Unless....
Chao: You thinking what I'm thinking?
Cham: I hope not.
Chao: Let's just say it at the same time.
Cham: The KYLL transforms them!
Chao: They were pretending to be dead!
Cham: .....
Chao: ........your theory is better.
[Chao gets his chainsaw gun thing, and starts fending off the Insta-robot invasion, while Cham snipes them]
[meanwhile, Shade and Dark watch in horror as the Instability stare deep into the robots' souls-- wait. Well, their circuits]
[the robots lose an eye and an arm, and gain lots of scars, and grow three tails]
Shade: Crap.
Dark: Mommy...
Instabilities: Help..... help me, mommy....... the bad man tore my eye out.... the bad man tore my arm off..... the bad man gave me three tails.... the bad man gave me scars...... the bad man will die.
Both: Crap!
[now, all the Instabilities in the world begin chanting those words over and over again]
Dark: But, their mouths are sewn shut!
[the Instability gain a new chant: "the bad man sew my mouth shut...."]
Shade: I... I think they can still talk. But, MAN, that looks painful.
[the Instability start moving toward them]
Shade: Crap! Dark, don't you have ANY weapons on you?
Dark: ....wait, yeah! Yes, I do!
[Dark tosses another grenade; it kills the enemies and blasts the doors open, revealing MORE Instability]
[Shade and Dark run for it]
[they reach the top of the house, and regroup with Cham and Chao]
Cham: Shade, help me, please.
Shade: Damn, won't these guys ever STOP?
Chao: Junker's ready.
Shade: Let's run for it, then!
[the Instability break through the doors]
Chao: Guys, they're taking our Junker!
Shade: NO WAY.
[Shade runs outside]
Shade: Instability.... time to get.... HAMMERED.
[Shade pulls out the Hammer of Dawn of War]
Dark: Shade, the sattelites aren't overhead!
Shade: Well, I'm just gonna have to hope I catch a lucky break, then.
[Shade aims it, charges it, and....]
Shade: ....c'mon....
[the Instability surround him]
Shade: C'MON......
[they reach for him]
Shade: COME...... ON.....
Shade: Yeah-heh-heh-HEH!
Shade: Let's get out of here!
[they run for it, and get their Junker back]
[Dark takes a look]
Dark: Uh, Shade.... you're not gonna believe this, but....
[they all look back, and see a HUMONGUS Instability]
[it is completely blind, but is controlled by an Instabilitized Tails Doll, so it CAN see, it has only one arm, tons of scars, three tails, yeah yeah, AND.... it has huge bazookas and cannons on its back]
[the Tails Doll has no eyes, either, but... it's the Tails Doll; it doesn't NEED eyes to see]
[let's just call it a BOOM-ACK for now]
Chao: The freakiest part... is that THAT used to be a chao.
Shade: *shudder* Let's try not to think about that.
Shade: Control, we are in our Junker, and, uh--
Shade: Sam n' Max just got here with the map.
Shade: Oh, and we have a BOOM-ACK on our tail. We just left Shawn's mansion. Where to next?
Egg: Hang on. Sam n' Max just sent us this map....
[Eggman hums cheerfully as he checks the map]
Egg: Ah-HA! It looks like the robots have a HUGE train that takes supplies down to their Factory! A station is close to you!
Shade: ****, really? That's great! But.... what do you want US to do?
Egg: The engine, Shade! Plant our nukes on that engine, and we'll set them off once the train makes it to the Factory!
Shade: Of course!
Egg: We'll give Sam n' Max the explosives once you reach the station. For now, just GET THERE!
Shade: ...we don't even know WHERE the station IS.
Egg: I've updated your Junker's GPS system with the info.
Shade: Oh. We'll get right on that, then.
Egg: Oh, and... Shade?
Shade: Yeah?
Egg: If this goes as planned... the war will be over, and you can go home.
Shade: **** YEAH! Wilco, Control! Delta out!
[Shade tells them the mission]
Cham: That's great! That's BETTER than great! That's AWESOME!
Chao: Yes, but.... what about the armies of Instability, and the BOOM-ACK?
Shade: just HAD to bring those up, DIDN'T you, Chao?

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